Karim Abuzaid – Marriage 07 Men Are The Protectors Of Women

Karim Abuzaid
AI: Summary ©
The importance of a marriage proposal is highlighted, as it is a legal framework for women to decide whether they want to marry. The speakers emphasize the need for men to be present during the process and emphasize the importance of following the curriculum and building a home filled with men. The segment also touches on the manners and characters in Islam, the importance of women being the drivers of their behavior, and the need for men to hold onto their children. The importance of manners and characters is emphasized, as it is a source of pride and frustration. The segment ends with a discussion of the importance of changing one's appearance and working on personal attributes to achieve success in life.
AI: Transcript ©
00:00:00 --> 00:00:02

Who want to stay in who wanna stop

00:00:04 --> 00:00:05

when our

00:00:06 --> 00:00:11

fusina woman say, Amina Maria de la,

00:00:12 --> 00:00:14

la la mejor

00:00:16 --> 00:00:16

de la

00:00:20 --> 00:00:34

llama waka who luxury Allah, wa shadow Anna Mohammedan Aveda who are solo, my brothers and sisters in Islam Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

00:00:36 --> 00:00:38

The series

00:00:39 --> 00:00:49

follows Sora. The name for it is love marriage and divorce. And this is lecture number seven from that series.

00:00:50 --> 00:00:57

And before the light either by the grace of Allah subhana wa Tada. We were able,

00:00:58 --> 00:01:08

in the last six lectures to discuss the marriage proposal, and also the marriage contract.

00:01:10 --> 00:01:16

And I need to remind my brothers and sisters in Islam,

00:01:18 --> 00:01:30

that there are a lot of violations that happen during the marriage proposal felt by Annie during the duration of engagement

00:01:31 --> 00:01:41

to the extent that you will find some sisters actually allowing the husbands to enjoy them, like a husband and wife.

00:01:43 --> 00:01:55

And this is a reminder that the moment that you do this, as a woman, you fall down right from the eyes of this individual.

00:01:57 --> 00:01:58

Brothers, I

00:01:59 --> 00:02:04

live in the community of Muslims and I receive a lot of phone calls. And

00:02:05 --> 00:02:21

I see and I know a lot of things happening in our families. I receive more than one call from brothers who actually doubting their wives. Because during the marriage proposal, the wives

00:02:23 --> 00:02:29

the fiancee or the mastaba, Mariani allowed the brother to torture,

00:02:30 --> 00:02:39

allow him to actually enjoy her, like you would enjoy your wife. And now he's saying that I don't trust her anymore.

00:02:41 --> 00:02:51

I was unlawful for her and she allowed me to enjoy her. What guarantee Do I have now that she's not doing this with somebody else.

00:02:54 --> 00:02:55

And he begins doubting his wife.

00:02:57 --> 00:03:00

And as if it's a punishment from Allah subhana wa tada

00:03:01 --> 00:03:22

because the sister or the brother violated the etiquettes of a fiance or fiancee, Allah Subhana Allah punishes them this way, for I just want to remind the sisters in particular because they are in charge of this, do not allow

00:03:23 --> 00:03:53

the Fiancee to come near you. This is the the engagement period is not a marriage contract. He is not entitled even to touch you. As a matter of fact, after he has taken the decision to engage to you, he is not supposed to see anything from you, but what shows normally, which is the face and the hand and if you are wearing a niqab and the regular pieces in regular basis, he should be seeing you with the niqab.

00:03:54 --> 00:03:55

This is just a reminder,

00:03:57 --> 00:04:23

we spoke about the marriage contract. And we mentioned that the marriage contract has pillars has conditions and any of these conditions is not fulfilled then the marriage is invalid period. We talked about the two pillars, the proposal and the acceptance that the person was interested in marrying he simply

00:04:24 --> 00:04:40

propose to her family, her guardian, and then if he accepts, then those pillars are established. We said one of the duties of the marriage contract is that every element were to nissa asado. In any

00:04:41 --> 00:05:00

other element Malik does not see the marriage valid without adultery because Allah subhana wa tada mentioned this in the Quran. We spoke about the seven conditions for the marriage contract. The prospective wife and husband must be addicted

00:05:00 --> 00:05:27

Define Clearly, the wife must accept. She cannot be pushed into the marriage. She must say if she is previously married. If she's a virgin, she could hint number three, no marriage without hourly. No marriage without our Lea. And we stress this human bra. NACA, hot enough, sir. Meanwhile, a

00:05:28 --> 00:05:43

funny careful hubba hubba Monica for any woman who gives herself in marriage without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.

00:05:44 --> 00:06:31

And we spoke about the witnesses, the two witnesses. And we spoke about the fact this marriage has to be announced that is number five, this marriage cannot be turned it can cannot be for a duration of time. This will bring you into the area of zamata that you marry just for the intention of getting a green card or the intention of because you're staying here love this marriage from the beginning in your heart. This marriage is intended to be forever if it you happen and divorce along the way that happens people divorce, but you cannot enter the marriage with the intention that you want to divorce the woman you can't. And what was the last one number seven.

00:06:36 --> 00:06:37

That was number seven.

00:06:40 --> 00:07:06

There is no obstacles that will hinder the women from marrying the fact that basically she's eligible to be married she cannot be from his skin she cannot be his mother, his daughter and we talked about this in detail. If you want to review we have two lectures about the conditions for a valid for a valid marriage contract they are available online. But the question here Why? Why

00:07:08 --> 00:07:10

are we getting attention to this?

00:07:12 --> 00:07:12

Yeah.

00:07:14 --> 00:07:15

Yeah, if we're

00:07:16 --> 00:07:21

the Muslim home is the place where the next generation is nourished.

00:07:25 --> 00:07:28

We don't have a next generation in the oma we don't.

00:07:30 --> 00:07:35

Because our homes are not ran or not stablished according to the Quran and Sunnah.

00:07:38 --> 00:08:15

Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam camisa al Bukhari Hadith Abu hurayrah arogya Lavanya kulu the new law to Island filter, every newborn is born on Islam, and filterable Islam, Allah subhana wa Taala delivered to you and your wife, a Muslim baby, not like the Christian say that he is sinful. He inherited the sin of his father Adam, we don't say this as Muslims, no, he is born a good boy. Then comes in the role of the fathers, the parents, who the father and the mother,

00:08:16 --> 00:08:19

who then his parents you have we

00:08:20 --> 00:08:41

will take him to Judaism. You will not see Ronnie Christianity, you make Jesus any any other religion which is either worshipping the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did not say you slimani He did not say that, did he? Because he's a Muslim. You're supposed to keep that.

00:08:42 --> 00:08:43

You must keep that.

00:08:44 --> 00:09:00

And we as Muslims when we get married, yes what we need to think of the future of the oma. When we put our homes together we need to focus on the generation of of next generation. Yes, whether

00:09:01 --> 00:09:04

Islam is a religion without men.

00:09:06 --> 00:09:07

That's the bottom line.

00:09:08 --> 00:09:31

Halima Kula Kala unbeliever disbeliever katha Paula Yella hoomin de la jolla what a religion This is if there are men men is not Neil's I'm not talking about meals. We have a lot of meals, but men the concept of men, some people who stand up for the religion, if his name is Muhammad, he does not say my name is mu.

00:09:33 --> 00:09:47

Some guy who stands up for Islam, he presents himself as a Muslim. He does not shy away. He knows that he is the best of humanity in the sight of Allah. He cares less about what people say about him.

00:09:49 --> 00:09:51

To create leanness,

00:09:55 --> 00:09:57

Nebula he Suleiman

00:10:00 --> 00:10:03

Have a look at this funnel later.

00:10:06 --> 00:10:12

Tonight I will go and visit hundreds of my wives yes he used to have 100 wives never utilize for a man.

00:10:15 --> 00:10:21

Why? Because I want each one of them to carry a child who will serve the deen of Allah.

00:10:23 --> 00:10:23

Chase

00:10:26 --> 00:10:28

made the same statement he said one last

00:10:30 --> 00:10:42

layer, the name of the book, beautiful book dounia Chiquita layer. The children, he says is one line by Allah in need. Aqui Hoon FC islandica

00:10:44 --> 00:10:48

Buhari min Buhari in a semitone to set the Hama

00:10:49 --> 00:11:05

by Allah I forced myself to have * with my spouse. Of course to fulfill her needs. This is one but I want out of my offspring. Children who will come out and say la ilaha illAllah Muhammad Rasulullah

00:11:07 --> 00:11:16

Fini do we do we think about this? Do we think about it? That is why we have to go by the book here. We have to follow the curriculum.

00:11:18 --> 00:11:21

We have to follow the curriculum. Jani

00:11:23 --> 00:11:23

Pinilla

00:11:25 --> 00:11:50

Omar and some of the other companions of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam after the death of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam they were sitting together I believe Maya Aveda and others and he told them wish each one of you make a wish wish wish wish some of them said we want to have golden silver so we spend it in the course of Allah you know the amount of the almost wish was what?

00:11:52 --> 00:12:01

In Neela My wish is to have a home filled with men that caliber of genre

00:12:05 --> 00:12:05

I mean

00:12:07 --> 00:12:08

cannabis say how you can feel

00:12:11 --> 00:12:16

the sadness in the liquidity. Nina we're in Amina

00:12:18 --> 00:12:20

Amina a year two Hello moto

00:12:21 --> 00:12:35

algebra the trustworthy of the Omar once the caliber of our house filled with men This is what law what we wish for for them for Islam and Muslims now you want men for that religion

00:12:37 --> 00:12:53

we will focus on this subject because I'm telling you out there they tell you we want the election the Muslim Brotherhood 90% as he was dreaming while long enough for him to have not understood that shouldn't have to change

00:12:55 --> 00:13:08

you don't change the condition yes this this is our way to change but not the way to change. The way to change is this is this

00:13:09 --> 00:13:11

is to bring forth another generation

00:13:13 --> 00:13:15

and you know I

00:13:17 --> 00:13:19

if you want to build a skyscraper

00:13:21 --> 00:13:23

high rise building

00:13:24 --> 00:13:27

What do you do to do this? What

00:13:30 --> 00:13:31

Dee

00:13:33 --> 00:13:34

Dee

00:13:36 --> 00:13:43

and I want to tell you something when you build when you want to build a high scraper and you're digging deep in the ground, no one is interested about what you're doing.

00:13:45 --> 00:13:46

What these guys are doing.

00:13:48 --> 00:13:50

Nobody's gonna give you attention nobody's gonna support you.

00:13:53 --> 00:13:59

But when the building goes up, Masha Allah, Masha Allah.

00:14:02 --> 00:14:08

So all the work to revive the oma is done when when nobody's paying attention at home,

00:14:09 --> 00:14:11

at home with the children.

00:14:12 --> 00:14:15

That's how it's done. If you want to change.

00:14:16 --> 00:14:17

This is the way to change.

00:14:18 --> 00:14:22

When we do a nominal Latinas today fufill

00:14:25 --> 00:14:32

1010 macchina Allahu Allah, wa ha man with whom I mean who America we have

00:14:33 --> 00:14:37

our hyena Ella Mimosa.

00:14:39 --> 00:14:49

We want to empower the children of Israel and Earth, the Muslims. How we are up and I reveal to the mother of Moosa to breastfeed him prepare Moosa for me.

00:14:50 --> 00:14:58

And Allah has done who's speaking subhana wa, Nana Umbra, who I will call this a coup de la Haku.

00:15:00 --> 00:15:17

power law here is the sadhana. No. The Sona is the next generation. Bring Musab it took 40 years between Allah subhanaw taala making that statement and actually the children of Israel being freed from bondage 40 years.

00:15:19 --> 00:15:22

We have to start working. That's why we're talking about the family.

00:15:23 --> 00:15:25

That is the hope for the

00:15:28 --> 00:15:37

other one to bribe our sisters early. I don't want to sound to be anti women here. It could be a girl

00:15:40 --> 00:15:40

from

00:15:42 --> 00:15:45

Morocco and Morocco, the mother of Emma

00:15:47 --> 00:15:51

is called to Morocco and Morocco not being Nina de la cama FIBA

00:15:53 --> 00:16:00

though of Emraan, the mother of Maria, she wanted a boy she wanted a boy to serve the deen of Allah.

00:16:03 --> 00:16:05

Allah given her

00:16:06 --> 00:16:13

a girl but Allah subhanaw taala use this girl to carry a child who is an area

00:16:15 --> 00:16:21

of sign and mercy for mankind while in ajala, who is up now Maria alayhis salam

00:16:24 --> 00:16:25

for mankind

00:16:27 --> 00:16:28

and mercy from Us.

00:16:30 --> 00:16:46

But originally the mother her intention was what she wanted a boy or a girl so we could be also bringing up a girl I don't want to deprive the brothers who do not have boys that they know this girl will be the womb for a boy for a guy

00:16:47 --> 00:16:51

for a Muslim to come and help the oma

00:16:55 --> 00:16:57

This is all an introduction.

00:17:00 --> 00:17:09

And I really I forgot to tell you the title of the subject today so at least you know what i'm doing tonight. Less.

00:17:10 --> 00:17:13

pG 11 Quran was soon

00:17:15 --> 00:17:17

and Abdullah COVID EFS

00:17:18 --> 00:17:23

you will never attain happiness in your marriage without implementing the Quran and the Sunnah

00:17:24 --> 00:17:26

from A to Z

00:17:29 --> 00:17:34

yes what Yana oma Sinhala Hill masala when you go and buy a car

00:17:35 --> 00:17:39

don't they give you a manual to manual car manual?

00:17:40 --> 00:17:43

Every 300 miles change the oil.

00:17:44 --> 00:17:54

You have to check this when this happens manual of our manual, the Sharia, the D the religion, our manual?

00:17:55 --> 00:18:14

Allah subhana wa tada spoke about the relationship between the husband and wife in the smallest detail. And you're amazed but don't misunderstand me I'm not trying to divide the Quran and Sunnah here. But actually family issues were more addressed in the Quran than this one.

00:18:16 --> 00:18:21

Yeah, normally in the Quran, Allah would say huapi masala stablish the Salah

00:18:22 --> 00:18:25

Amelia to Navy sallallahu wasallam Oh cool. So Luca, Nora I

00:18:27 --> 00:18:39

pray like and then the Prophet explains to you how to establish the Salah. I'm telling you, family issues from A to Z have to come to your wife how to have * with your wife is mentioned.

00:18:41 --> 00:18:43

What to say how you do it.

00:18:45 --> 00:18:53

What happened if this happens? Surah Nisa recite Surah Nisa, Surat Al Baqarah, great deal of Surah Baqarah.

00:18:55 --> 00:19:04

Allah, there is a whole surah in the Quran called Allah, about how to function have what to do if you hate your wife.

00:19:07 --> 00:19:10

We're encouraged to move faster and crochet and where

00:19:12 --> 00:19:14

to what to what to do.

00:19:17 --> 00:19:33

But what happens with the oma we go and we get married, and we don't even educate ourselves about sucralose. I consider it mandatory upon any young man who's about to get married, that he must study the book of

00:19:35 --> 00:19:35

goodwill

00:19:38 --> 00:19:58

and study how to put together as a family from A to Z. But you just go and get married and you follow the waves of non Muslims. And then at the end you come and complain Shay, my marriage is not working. It's awful. We're fighting all the time. Why? Because there is no Sharia and you find brothers whining we don't have we want to establish the Sharia establish the Sharia

00:20:00 --> 00:20:10

Establish the deen of Allah, in your relationship with your spouse in your relationship with your children first, before you want to establish it out in the street, hacker

00:20:13 --> 00:20:15

tobon Jani

00:20:16 --> 00:20:51

pulsara happen to be easy when people, a lot of Muslims are not aware of these things. There are I'm telling you 80% of the Muslims do not know that there is a say in our religion regarding how they get married, who they get married, and all that stuff. Probably a lot of the stuff that we shared with you was the first time to be heard when we talk about the marriage contract and the conditions for the marriage contract. Because a lot of Muslims do not know about it, or those who know about it, they are heedless of it. That's not important. You know,

00:20:52 --> 00:20:58

they they hear these TV shows and these counseling and they go after these command man, you're a Muslim.

00:20:59 --> 00:21:05

Or they leave it and they abandon basically the way for Allah subhana wa Tada. So now

00:21:06 --> 00:21:13

we boot a husband and wife together so far through a marriage contract. Let's learn

00:21:14 --> 00:21:20

and the time that we have tonight. How can we need this house function according to the Quran and Sunnah.

00:21:22 --> 00:21:33

Okay, and I'm not you know, I'm presenting the Quran and Sunnah here. I'm not presenting anything else but the Quran and soon How can we get the house functioning?

00:21:35 --> 00:21:37

First of all,

00:21:39 --> 00:21:41

the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us

00:21:42 --> 00:21:43

that whenever

00:21:45 --> 00:21:48

there is a communal work

00:21:49 --> 00:21:53

there must be an identified need.

00:21:56 --> 00:22:02

In the Salah, you have an email, we will look for suffer kehlata if you're three you must your dmea

00:22:04 --> 00:22:08

before we even begin talking about this,

00:22:09 --> 00:22:10

I want to ask

00:22:12 --> 00:22:17

the sisters and the brothers who is the engineer of the house

00:22:20 --> 00:22:23

you see that's a big problem that's a foundation.

00:22:25 --> 00:22:26

Who

00:22:28 --> 00:22:33

our sisters here the media and equality between men and women for you.

00:22:35 --> 00:22:36

Aren't you a Muslim?

00:22:37 --> 00:22:39

Why didn't you see what Allah says?

00:22:43 --> 00:22:46

How Muna Arlen is

00:22:49 --> 00:22:54

the first one women Muslim woman if the sister is not a follower of this, nope.

00:22:55 --> 00:23:00

That's in quality. That's anti women. Yeah.

00:23:01 --> 00:23:02

Yeah, of the tequila.

00:23:04 --> 00:23:06

Anti woman that is not anti woman.

00:23:10 --> 00:23:12

The family is like a ship.

00:23:14 --> 00:23:16

The family is like a boat.

00:23:17 --> 00:23:20

And you must have an identified Captain from that ship.

00:23:22 --> 00:23:24

And Allah subhana wa tada choose the hospital.

00:23:27 --> 00:23:35

For you. I want to remind the Sisters of the marriage contract and the two pillars of the marriage contract.

00:23:37 --> 00:23:41

You know what is being mentioned in those two parents in those two colors.

00:23:44 --> 00:23:46

The proposal

00:23:47 --> 00:23:49

in Mr. Horton la

00:23:51 --> 00:23:55

mimaki Latika so and so and so.

00:23:56 --> 00:24:04

I have three days that I want to marry the woman who's under your guardianship, her name is so and so. And so according to what?

00:24:06 --> 00:24:08

The United Nations

00:24:10 --> 00:24:11

according to what?

00:24:12 --> 00:24:16

The law of family that is produced by non Muslims.

00:24:18 --> 00:24:19

Allah kita in

00:24:21 --> 00:24:24

the book of Allah, by the book of Allah says

00:24:28 --> 00:24:29

our Mona Lisa,

00:24:30 --> 00:24:37

men are the Sustainer men are the protector. Men are in charge

00:24:39 --> 00:24:39

of the family.

00:24:43 --> 00:25:00

Actually, your father sister. And in this context, by the way, I want to say that if a Muslim male or female go to a court a civil court, what they get out of there is a marriage license. It is not counted.

00:25:00 --> 00:25:00

Marriage

00:25:02 --> 00:25:04

actually the county, the local county

00:25:07 --> 00:25:14

basically the identify that this is not a marriage contract they call it a marriage license

00:25:15 --> 00:25:24

you must take that license to a Muslim she Eman in order to boost the marriage contract islamically

00:25:25 --> 00:25:29

fulfilling all the conditions and the pillars and the duties.

00:25:30 --> 00:25:35

Now, when you're when a when your father your guardian

00:25:37 --> 00:26:00

basically accept the marriage, the marriage proposal of this man he says I have accepted corbeil too I have accepted zoa jakka your marriage min more kill it from my daughter whoever is under my guardianship whose name is so and so. And so again, Allah kita Villa

00:26:01 --> 00:26:16

according to the book of Allah, while as soon as the rasulillah and according to the Sunnah of the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam and dominant dimensioning of the saga of the Dory because it's one of the beauties of the marriage contract.

00:26:17 --> 00:26:32

So you agree to this already, that you will use the deen the religion to be the arbitration power or the power which will decide that relationship.

00:26:37 --> 00:26:38

But then,

00:26:39 --> 00:26:42

in this context also we have to say

00:26:43 --> 00:26:48

Allah subhana wa tada did not give the man that authority to honor him.

00:26:50 --> 00:26:54

No, as a matter of fact, this is additional responsibility.

00:26:56 --> 00:27:04

Allah did not give you brothers the karma because you smarter, more handsome? No.

00:27:05 --> 00:27:06

It's a responsibility.

00:27:07 --> 00:27:10

And you know what you will be asked about it in a different direction.

00:27:13 --> 00:27:20

parlez sallallahu alayhi wa sallam cannot normal so sorry. Hi kulu Kumara Baku.

00:27:21 --> 00:27:34

All of you are responsible. And all of you will be held accountable regarding the responsibility and in the vehcile Allahu alayhi wa sallam in this hadith son he named our Raja Laura

00:27:35 --> 00:27:39

Thea, the man is the custodian

00:27:40 --> 00:27:45

is in charge of his wife and children.

00:27:46 --> 00:27:57

And he will be asked in the day for ruction about that responsibility. It's not an honor isn't here. Okay. It's not a name tag or a badge.

00:27:58 --> 00:28:00

It's a responsibility

00:28:01 --> 00:28:02

that you will be asked about

00:28:05 --> 00:28:15

a lavalier send them Hades maligna surface a Muslim man in Aberdeen yesterday he la hora de su Mahmoud el Mahmud

00:28:16 --> 00:28:23

Shula Ilaha Rama hula halogen, Keller Mia Annie huge Algol

00:28:25 --> 00:28:26

Salalah philosophy

00:28:28 --> 00:28:45

Allah subhana wa tada places under you are responsibility and you die on the day in which you die betraying that responsibility. Allah subhanaw taala will make you harav fortune.

00:28:46 --> 00:28:47

Says Mughal Mago

00:28:49 --> 00:28:49

joke in here

00:28:51 --> 00:29:00

kawamata for you become happy about it. Men are the Cascadia men are the protector men are in charge lay heavy This is their responsibility.

00:29:03 --> 00:29:05

It is not in a way,

00:29:06 --> 00:29:07

owner isn't.

00:29:09 --> 00:29:09

What

00:29:11 --> 00:29:14

we also must mention

00:29:15 --> 00:29:18

that Allah subhana wa Taala

00:29:20 --> 00:29:24

identified the man to be the custodian,

00:29:25 --> 00:29:26

the protector,

00:29:27 --> 00:29:33

the one in charge for the family, over the family, because of reasons

00:29:35 --> 00:29:38

because of certain reasons,

00:29:40 --> 00:29:44

because of you must possess certain things

00:29:47 --> 00:29:49

Subbu filtri was a Buddhist

00:29:52 --> 00:29:59

reason with which you are fashion the power law. regional power Muna Allah Nisa, a B.

00:30:00 --> 00:30:03

fotball Allahu Allahu Allah

00:30:06 --> 00:30:12

because Allah subhanho wa Taala somehow bestowed upon you more than the women

00:30:13 --> 00:30:14

physical power.

00:30:15 --> 00:30:17

Emotionally you move

00:30:19 --> 00:30:26

in you Yani in control. That is why Allah Allah subhanaw taala placed in your hand that divorce

00:30:28 --> 00:30:39

for a woman to divorce her husband she must go to the shape and do hula film into one word, one word and Teutonic colosse wrote a book

00:30:40 --> 00:30:41

of course after that

00:30:44 --> 00:30:51

that is why the brothers who when they when the sister you know gets him upset or something and then he right away

00:30:53 --> 00:30:55

You're in charge be in control.

00:30:56 --> 00:31:07

So, because of certain reasons and inshallah I will shed more light on this how women were in a way emotional women are emotional.

00:31:10 --> 00:31:27

Nabi sallallahu Sallam mentioned that they may have a deficit in the religion. Why? Because they don't pray certain days out of the month. They don't fast certain days out of the month, and this affects them emotionally.

00:31:29 --> 00:31:38

I'm not nagging about the sisters here but the prophets of Salaam actually told us this to understand the sisters the women, try to understand them that they are emotional.

00:31:40 --> 00:31:44

Allah subhanaw taala placed in men, the prophet who

00:31:46 --> 00:31:53

we don't believe that there are women who can be messengers and prophets, absolutely not. Men.

00:31:54 --> 00:32:13

It is not because anti women and inequality I'm sorry it is not but this is the way that Allah fashioned us. women cannot handle that pressure. women cannot take it. And if you tell me shave, well we had golden ear we had Margaret Thatcher and the toucher

00:32:14 --> 00:32:15

is ma

00:32:16 --> 00:32:17

la Casa La

00:32:19 --> 00:32:25

you don't use analogy on the abnormal those are abnormals wonderful guy

00:32:26 --> 00:32:31

was shared you do not use analogy. You don't do PS owner shares when abnormal?

00:32:32 --> 00:32:46

Hmm, you understand what I'm trying to say? What is the average? This is the average style of a sister. These are exceptions. You do not establish a ruling on an exception you establish a ruling on

00:32:49 --> 00:32:52

little majority by the lottery dominance.

00:32:55 --> 00:33:01

The second reason and listen carefully to this because this is an important one. And this one got us in a lot of trouble.

00:33:02 --> 00:33:03

Our

00:33:04 --> 00:33:46

brothers they read this verse and they rejoice. But see they never completed our region. How? Muna Nisa Bhima de la la Baba Humala men are in charge of women because of their built up the way that Allah fashioned them we call it fifthly reason that is because of the way that Allah subhanaw taala fashion them. Allah made them different in so many ways that they can handle that responsibility that they can handle that position of being the captain of the family. But there is another reason that we never mentioned we're Bhima boo Minh le him.

00:33:47 --> 00:33:51

And because they take care of the wives financially.

00:33:56 --> 00:33:59

When your wife goes out to work, you lose half

00:34:00 --> 00:34:03

of that power, you lose it.

00:34:06 --> 00:34:09

When your wife goes out to work, you lose half of that authority.

00:34:10 --> 00:34:17

You find in a lot of cases brothers sending their wives to work and yet he wouldn't be the boss. He doesn't even have a job.

00:34:18 --> 00:34:24

And he still wouldn't make the calls laya Habibi, it's over it's half gone. And if you don't have a job, Alice

00:34:26 --> 00:34:29

it's the other way around now. She's in charge.

00:34:33 --> 00:34:45

We say the truth Eduardo de bajo region como una de Missa de la la, la la, la la la la Vina akumina

00:34:48 --> 00:34:52

when I will let one last hurrah,

00:34:53 --> 00:34:58

hurrah destruction happen to the Muslim family.

00:35:00 --> 00:35:04

Since the women left her home

00:35:06 --> 00:35:06

will lie.

00:35:08 --> 00:35:12

And brothers if you're about to get married, marry a woman who is willing to stay at home.

00:35:14 --> 00:35:16

Horror, destruction

00:35:18 --> 00:35:20

propaganda reasons for it.

00:35:21 --> 00:35:22

There are

00:35:24 --> 00:35:26

better it's rough.

00:35:28 --> 00:35:32

They wouldn't have a house the biggest house by one income is not going to support this.

00:35:35 --> 00:35:38

They wouldn't have a satellite internet.

00:35:40 --> 00:35:42

They want to have battery and all these

00:35:44 --> 00:35:46

small little room with a bed

00:35:48 --> 00:35:49

and a bathroom.

00:35:52 --> 00:35:53

Keep your wife at home

00:35:56 --> 00:36:03

lay alley camera take your wife goes outside. And she she beautifies herself for the boss,

00:36:04 --> 00:36:06

the hairdresser How do you like this?

00:36:09 --> 00:36:13

And of course customer service. What can I do for you?

00:36:17 --> 00:36:20

When Allah subhana wa Taala tells the mothers of the believers what

00:36:21 --> 00:36:22

will come

00:36:24 --> 00:36:25

for your family if you

00:36:27 --> 00:36:32

don't speak softly with other people because some people have wickedness in their hearts.

00:36:33 --> 00:36:35

Blah blah blah customer service.

00:36:39 --> 00:36:47

Sometimes she finds herself a little Lola hey what you cannot achieve. I end up in an office with my boss what should they do?

00:36:49 --> 00:36:51

find another job sister go home

00:36:53 --> 00:36:54

or the dress code.

00:36:55 --> 00:36:56

The dress code now

00:36:59 --> 00:37:07

for how can you How can you do this? I would drop a law. a distraction happened to the Muslim family because of this.

00:37:11 --> 00:37:13

Sometimes the man lazy

00:37:14 --> 00:37:16

that's another reason or his greedy

00:37:20 --> 00:37:20

mullet that

00:37:21 --> 00:37:33

he sits at home. And sometimes Allah here is one of the most amazing things that I find a brother marrying more than one wife and all of them are working and he sits at home

00:37:38 --> 00:37:39

you have a fish

00:37:40 --> 00:37:41

fishy

00:37:43 --> 00:37:43

fishy.

00:37:44 --> 00:37:52

have loved running in your vein. That's your responsibility. Of course we don't take off the plane from the sisters.

00:37:54 --> 00:38:07

hearing all these things in the media Come on, you're gonna be like an animal who gets pregnant and then delivers babies and then get another breckland get out euro euro you're like the Mad symmetric.

00:38:10 --> 00:38:10

Now

00:38:13 --> 00:38:14

the enemies of the Muslims

00:38:18 --> 00:38:19

not

00:38:21 --> 00:38:22

heaven

00:38:24 --> 00:38:25

not

00:38:26 --> 00:38:27

subhanaw taala

00:38:29 --> 00:38:30

here to Allah

00:38:31 --> 00:38:40

and Allah is my witness. I know of sisters who go outside to work and their income.

00:38:41 --> 00:38:44

their income is to be paid to the babysitter

00:38:47 --> 00:38:49

and the babysitter is not a Muslim.

00:38:53 --> 00:38:56

Imagine a sister goes outside to work.

00:38:58 --> 00:39:05

She makes $400 paycheck every two weeks. She comes and she adds to me to be her babysitter.

00:39:08 --> 00:39:14

So instead of our Muslim women bring in the children or having a non Muslim woman bring in the children

00:39:19 --> 00:39:21

and feel happy hmm details

00:39:24 --> 00:39:26

on how the physical Buhari

00:39:29 --> 00:39:30

offered.

00:39:33 --> 00:39:34

Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

00:39:35 --> 00:39:36

On that day

00:39:38 --> 00:39:41

he placed 50 archers

00:39:42 --> 00:39:44

on the top of the mountain.

00:39:46 --> 00:39:47

And he told them listen

00:39:49 --> 00:39:51

if you see

00:39:54 --> 00:39:57

the non Muslims the disbelievers and co pharmakeia

00:39:59 --> 00:39:59

chasing

00:40:00 --> 00:40:04

asked to Medina Do not leave your posts.

00:40:08 --> 00:40:10

And if you see

00:40:11 --> 00:40:17

us chasing them to Mecca, do not leave your posts.

00:40:21 --> 00:40:24

At the beginning of the battle, the Muslims were winning.

00:40:27 --> 00:40:29

They were chasing the disbelievers.

00:40:33 --> 00:40:37

40 more or less. Based on Harrison Barra

00:40:38 --> 00:40:39

of the archers

00:40:40 --> 00:40:45

decided to go down and collect the spoils of war.

00:40:49 --> 00:40:50

They left their posts.

00:40:52 --> 00:40:55

That's exactly what our women did.

00:40:56 --> 00:40:58

They left the posts

00:40:59 --> 00:41:01

and they went after the dounia

00:41:03 --> 00:41:07

no other women can bring up a child but the mother

00:41:08 --> 00:41:09

No.

00:41:10 --> 00:41:20

The sister goes to work, she's so tired, she comes back home. The husband is expecting something from her. She cannot handle it.

00:41:22 --> 00:41:31

dysfunctional family, the whole thing. Children are being supervised educated by other people. dysfunctional family.

00:41:33 --> 00:41:35

Yes, you are

00:41:37 --> 00:41:43

sustainer you're in charge, because it is our responsibility.

00:41:45 --> 00:42:03

And because you will be asked about it. And because Allah subhana wa tada fashion you to be responsible and in charge, but above all, because you must provide for the family, a husband must provide for the family.

00:42:05 --> 00:42:08

And the wife must be considered.

00:42:10 --> 00:42:16

She should not be asking too much. He will model life you who will

00:42:18 --> 00:42:19

cut down on the

00:42:21 --> 00:42:24

need to bring a woman who can manage your home

00:42:25 --> 00:42:26

and can be happy

00:42:27 --> 00:42:30

with the little so that she can stay at home and does her job.

00:42:39 --> 00:42:42

Based on this, let's talk about this leader.

00:42:44 --> 00:42:51

We decided now according to the Quran and Sunnah, that the Emir of the family is who

00:42:52 --> 00:42:52

the hustle.

00:42:55 --> 00:43:02

And we give him the reasons why. Now, let's discuss this lead.

00:43:05 --> 00:43:14

And inshallah this will be the subject of the next lecture. But we will begin in sha Allah introducing it tonight and the last 15 minutes we still have

00:43:15 --> 00:43:16

number one.

00:43:17 --> 00:43:19

And we're gonna discuss four things here.

00:43:21 --> 00:43:25

Number one, the attributes and the quality of this leader.

00:43:29 --> 00:43:36

What kind of attributes should you possess as a man of the house? Should you be mean? Should you be rude?

00:43:38 --> 00:43:39

Should you be humble?

00:43:40 --> 00:43:47

Should you know your wife how to manage her? Should you should you? We'll discuss this in a minute.

00:43:48 --> 00:43:55

So the attributes why I'm saying this as well because if you do not possess these qualities, these attributes

00:43:56 --> 00:43:57

work on it.

00:43:58 --> 00:44:07

You see there is a big misunderstanding in the minds of Muslims that they say Allah made me this way I cannot change Leah Habib you have to change.

00:44:09 --> 00:44:14

You see, manners or characters are two types.

00:44:15 --> 00:44:20

type that Allah already implanted in you. You're born with it.

00:44:21 --> 00:44:24

And another time you have to work in it to gain it.

00:44:27 --> 00:44:28

Again,

00:44:34 --> 00:44:38

a delegation that came to learn about Islam. Look at this now

00:44:40 --> 00:44:44

60 of them I believe are 4035 it will be

00:44:47 --> 00:44:54

so all of them as soon as they arrived at the message of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam they were so excited

00:44:56 --> 00:44:59

to come and see him. So they live their camels

00:45:00 --> 00:45:02

Hello untied

00:45:03 --> 00:45:08

and they rush to the prophet to say to the Prophet Solomon learn from him

00:45:11 --> 00:45:19

and the prophets of Salaam is watching this from a distance there is a man who's going around every camel every animal and tie in it

00:45:25 --> 00:45:26

so he's asking Who's this man?

00:45:28 --> 00:45:31

You know they said her they say Donna

00:45:33 --> 00:45:34

This is our I mean

00:45:36 --> 00:45:37

this is our Master

00:45:41 --> 00:45:52

Master mahama woman's mishmash. kawana machine. You're going to come back home societies back home. You are Habibi, Lalalalala. Pay attention here.

00:45:54 --> 00:45:56

Nothing Minna, la healin tele whom

00:46:00 --> 00:46:06

be Salalah Wallace and M says, max min de la alghanim.

00:46:07 --> 00:46:10

every prophet and messenger shepherd.

00:46:11 --> 00:46:17

Why? Shepherd sheep, you know, families like your sheep, you're trying to keep your family together.

00:46:19 --> 00:46:35

You will always find the sheep that is trying to get out of the family. If you beat it up. It's not going to come back. In short rah rah Otama Hakata colander be the worst of Shepherd are those who are tough, but they're supposed to

00:46:36 --> 00:46:43

come back my wife, come back, my wife who can work this out. Come on. Let's keep this together. Please come back now.

00:46:47 --> 00:46:51

Let's look into the attributes of the Amir here of the family.

00:46:54 --> 00:46:54

Olay.

00:46:56 --> 00:46:58

I want to go back to the case.

00:46:59 --> 00:47:13

When the man entered the message that he said with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam sakala Allahu Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to him figa his sletten you had boohooman la hora Sula.

00:47:15 --> 00:47:23

You have two characters, two qualities that Allah and His Messenger loves. Muhammad Rasul Allah, Paul and

00:47:24 --> 00:47:25

well enter

00:47:26 --> 00:47:28

forbearance

00:47:29 --> 00:47:33

and we'll enter you don't get upset you don't get triggered.

00:47:34 --> 00:47:35

You can

00:47:37 --> 00:47:43

here's what I'm looking for. My mother shall follow suit Allah, Allah Jabulani Lavalle Houma

00:47:45 --> 00:47:52

did Allah fashion me with those two qualities is Nam call and hamdulillah he led the Fatah Ronnie

00:47:54 --> 00:47:58

all breeds bitwala profession me the way that he loves me

00:48:00 --> 00:48:13

for you may have some of the qualities of some of the meal of the family you were born with. But I'm telling you if you do not possess the other qualities you must work on obtaining them.

00:48:14 --> 00:48:21

enamel l movie loom enamel Hill movie to Hulu cinema sub Savita Sabo

00:48:22 --> 00:48:23

How can I

00:48:24 --> 00:48:33

help you want to be forbearance? work on it, I get you angry this time set Okay, next time, I'm not going to be angry.

00:48:35 --> 00:48:36

Okay,

00:48:37 --> 00:48:39

I'll get you upset. Okay, next time.

00:48:41 --> 00:48:41

try this again.

00:48:43 --> 00:48:47

And then again, until you process it.

00:48:48 --> 00:48:51

So we're gonna talk about the attributes

00:48:52 --> 00:49:06

and the qualities that the Emir of the family must possess and I chosen 10 and I will not detail them because if I detail them, then that means we're going to get off the lecture when we get off the series. I'm going to briefly address them inshallah.

00:49:08 --> 00:49:09

The second

00:49:11 --> 00:49:19

basically, point that we will cover once we talk about the mean, is the nature of this mission.

00:49:22 --> 00:49:28

I'm telling you at this age and time, it is a mission impossible to keep a family together.

00:49:30 --> 00:49:32

You know, that mission impossible thing.

00:49:34 --> 00:49:36

It's a Mission Impossible.

00:49:39 --> 00:49:41

job and they told us in schools

00:49:42 --> 00:49:44

when we were brought up.

00:49:45 --> 00:49:59

We watch all these soap operas, that men and women are getting married and 30 episodes and then at the final episodes they say, and they got married and they live happily ever after.

00:50:00 --> 00:50:00

Habibi,

00:50:03 --> 00:50:05

come and see part two.

00:50:09 --> 00:50:10

There is a part two

00:50:12 --> 00:50:18

layer when the head of the institution of cuff is after your marriage.

00:50:20 --> 00:50:20

I'm talking about

00:50:24 --> 00:50:30

Muslim honey Jabir ibn Abdullah. Satan places his throne every single morning on wood.

00:50:32 --> 00:50:33

Every morning

00:50:35 --> 00:50:39

and then he would tell his helpers from the gym.

00:50:41 --> 00:50:49

Who so ever misguides a Muslim today, I will crown him with my own hands, I will best go.

00:50:53 --> 00:50:57

At night at sunset, they come back reporting.

00:50:58 --> 00:51:04

What did you do today, one of them will stand I did not leave this person until he killed this person.

00:51:05 --> 00:51:07

Good job down,

00:51:08 --> 00:51:10

committed adultery good jobs.

00:51:11 --> 00:51:21

Until this one stands, and I did not leave a husband and wife until I separated them.

00:51:22 --> 00:51:28

Now I'm an anti GM, you're my guy. You're my man.

00:51:32 --> 00:51:35

Again, I go back to what I started with Think about it.

00:51:36 --> 00:51:43

Killing is a major sin. Adultery is a major sin. Stealing is a major sin. Divorce is not

00:51:46 --> 00:51:49

divorce if you divorce a woman who is righteous pious is not a

00:51:52 --> 00:51:52

love disliked

00:51:55 --> 00:51:57

something that is disliked by Allah, but there's nothing wrong.

00:51:59 --> 00:52:02

Now the question why Satan is so excited about this.

00:52:03 --> 00:52:05

Why the children

00:52:07 --> 00:52:09

the children won't pay the price.

00:52:10 --> 00:52:12

The children will pay the price.

00:52:14 --> 00:52:21

You see Satan looks into his strategic assets future. Satan gets to live until the death resurrection we recycle.

00:52:22 --> 00:52:24

He wants weaker generations.

00:52:32 --> 00:52:34

And then who divorces his wife,

00:52:35 --> 00:52:39

for sure these children will be brought up by another man, stepfather

00:52:42 --> 00:52:44

and other women stepmother.

00:52:46 --> 00:53:01

And imagine now the children hearing the father talking about the mother and the mother talking about the Father. Most probability one another to quote and measuring children will come up in that environment, when they are supposed to see the love and affection between the men and women.

00:53:03 --> 00:53:04

All of this will

00:53:05 --> 00:53:11

will affect their psychological welfare. That is why Satan is excited.

00:53:16 --> 00:53:35

Number three, again, we're talking about the four things and we're gonna detail this in Sharla. next lecture, the four things which we'll cover, once we talk about demand being in charge of the family, and then after that, by the way, we're gonna go to the sisters also and address them the wives.

00:53:37 --> 00:53:46

But we talked about, we're gonna talk about the attributes and the qualities of this leader of this husband, who is in charge of this family.

00:53:48 --> 00:53:52

We're gonna talk about the nature of the mission, it's difficult.

00:53:53 --> 00:53:55

Then we want to talk about

00:53:57 --> 00:53:59

the nature of the women.

00:54:03 --> 00:54:05

Yeah, if you're a leader,

00:54:07 --> 00:54:10

you need to know the nature of the people who are you leading?

00:54:12 --> 00:54:19

Allah subhana wa tada in the Quran and the prophets Allah Lovato, Solomon, the son told us a lot about the sisters about the women.

00:54:22 --> 00:54:25

We will open up to south to apollyon de Shafi. Now,

00:54:26 --> 00:54:30

a lot of the men By the way, they look at this from the negative side.

00:54:31 --> 00:54:32

Allah

00:54:33 --> 00:54:40

Allah subhanho wa Taala in the tongue of his message is trying to show you explain to you the nature of the women.

00:54:42 --> 00:54:43

So you can handle her

00:54:46 --> 00:54:49

and he will and Mara hola nimbala.

00:54:51 --> 00:54:55

The woman was made from a been rip.

00:54:57 --> 00:54:58

She's been already

00:55:00 --> 00:55:01

Allah, Allah

00:55:04 --> 00:55:05

Allah Allah

00:55:07 --> 00:55:11

and the peace which has been most in the trip is the power.

00:55:13 --> 00:55:15

Now if you try to fix it

00:55:17 --> 00:55:22

what has happened to them when you try to fix it when you try to straighten it what is going to happen to the rep

00:55:23 --> 00:55:24

you're gonna break

00:55:26 --> 00:55:28

so basically

00:55:29 --> 00:55:33

the religion is telling you you have to deal with her the way she is.

00:55:38 --> 00:55:40

I was just reflecting about this today.

00:55:42 --> 00:55:44

Do we still have time are we

00:55:46 --> 00:55:47

three minutes

00:55:48 --> 00:55:50

and three minutes we finished in sha Allah

00:55:52 --> 00:55:53

Subhana Allah

00:55:55 --> 00:55:59

there is a wisdom behind the rip be fashion this way right?

00:56:01 --> 00:56:03

Because the rip protects What?

00:56:04 --> 00:56:08

The lungs, the heart, the chest.

00:56:10 --> 00:56:11

If the rip is not been

00:56:14 --> 00:56:16

these limbs will not receive protection.

00:56:18 --> 00:56:23

The same exact thing with the women Allah subhana wa tada created her this way for a purpose for wisdom.

00:56:25 --> 00:56:26

Emotional

00:56:28 --> 00:56:46

when she used her baby crying and weeding she rushes she. So for a wisdom Allah subhana wa tada created the sisters this way. So, again, if you are a head of the family if you're trying to hit a family if you're trying to be a leader of a family, you must know the nature of women.

00:56:48 --> 00:57:00

You must know who you're leading. Women are not like you. Women are different. Even than Muslims they call them the opposite. What don't use the word gender

00:57:03 --> 00:57:04

the opposite gender.

00:57:07 --> 00:57:19

This is item number three inshallah. Then item number four. Once it comes to the hawala, we're gonna talk about the responsibilities of the man. What is he supposed to do?

00:57:21 --> 00:57:22

inshallah?

00:57:25 --> 00:57:27

Was it hard for you today? What

00:57:30 --> 00:57:39

is it? Sakina or you're afraid of me or something? Sakina you're not afraid of me of something. I didn't scare anybody did that. For us? I just the subject therefore lies.

00:57:41 --> 00:57:43

The subject is heartbreaking.

00:57:44 --> 00:58:10

For insha Allah remember next lecture on Wednesday, we're gonna talk about the first of the four items that addresses the male, the man, The Guardian, the one in charge of the family. And then after that, we'll go after the sisters. Don't worry, we'll get we'll get to deal with the sisters as well inshallah. Does that mean well heroes of Hanukkah? mahimahi handig Chateau La La Land a star Furukawa to Lake wa al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil aalameen

Share Page