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The Importance Of Good Manners

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Kamal El-Mekki

Channel: Kamal El-Mekki

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Santa Monica de la there is a black Nissan right in front of the main door, somebody's parking. It is a black Nissan SUV, small SUV right in front of the main door.

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Move it because in two three minutes the COP is going to ticket you and it's going to be moved. So

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it's just in front of the store

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I'm pleased no double parking you can park in the street.

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Salam Alaikum

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Allahu

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Allahu Akbar

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as head one

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Hey

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hey

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hey

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hi

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in 100 ala nama who wanna stay in who wanna stop?

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When are the villa Himanshu Laura and fusina woman say, Marina Maria de la la Molina de la Loma Linda de la

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ilaha illallah wa the hula Sheree Keller pasado Mohammed Abu rasuluh.

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All praise is due to Allah we praise Him and seek his assistance. We seek refuge with Allah from the evil within ourselves and from the evil of our deeds. Whomsoever Allah guides, none can misguide him. It whomever he allows to go astray, none can guide him and I bear witness that there is no god worthy of worship except Allah alone. He has no partner and I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and his messengers. Yeah, you have Lavina Amano tapa, la casa de La Tomatina 11 to Muslim moon. Oh, you who believe fear Allah as he should be feared and do not die, except in the state of Islam. Yeah, you Halloween on top of La how Apolo Conan said either useless locum ama como la casa

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Nova come one minute a la hora Sula, faza fosun Avi Ma, are you who believe fear Allah and speak the truth. He will direct you to the righteous good deeds and will forgive your sins and whomsoever obeys Allah and His messenger. He has indeed achieved a great achievement about fairness. tabula rasa Alhaji Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Mashallah Maura Masada Bakula desert invada wakulla Dalton Bala ambala polka dot infinity brothers sisters in Islam, the topic of our hotbar is actually one of the most important topics in Islam. It is something that is so important yet very few people know about the level of importance. Many people think it is something that you do for extra credit

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when you have leftover time from acts of worship, then if you have time left over and energy, I'll put effort into this. The topic of today is the importance of good manners. And from the importance of good manners is when that when the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was describing why he was sent, he made it sound as if Allah azza wa jal only sent him to perfect people's good manners. He said in NEMA boys to Luton Mima Makarem Allah Allah indeed I was sent and he could have said I was sent so that people will c'est la ilaha illa I was sent to say people from the Hellfire I was sent so people will enter Paradise but the prophets Allah is made it seem as if he was only sent to perfect the

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most noble of good character as if that's the only reason why he was sent in nama booth to Luton, Lima McCarran.

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And likewise when Allah subhanaw taala mentions why the prophets Allah xlm was sent in the Quran. In it also is a hint to the importance of good manners allows witnesses in the Quran to the prophets of Allah is Allah wa also Naka Illa Rahmatullah salami and we have not sent you except as a mercy to mankind. So everyone understands how the sending of the Prophet sallallahu ala

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is a mercy because he guides and directs you to that which will take you to paradise. And he warns you from that which will take to the hellfire. So everyone can see how in the era the sending of the prophets of Allah Selim is a mercy. But no doubt he was sent as a mercy in this world and in the next, and the scholars commented on the fact that you cannot have mercy in this world. If there if you don't have good manners, if there are no good manners, so if we were to take the example of a village, and if we had all the bad manners in this village envy and hatred and jealousy and profanity, could you describe this village as a merciful village or a merciful place? It is only

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through having good manners that there can be mercy on earth amongst you people amongst one another. So when Allah azza wa jal says Wilma also Naka in La maternidad amin and we have not sent you except as a mercy to humanity or to mankind. Then even in this statement, there is an indication to the importance of good manners,

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good manners, and good dealings. This is something we need for success in life period. A man needs it to be successful with his spouse, a woman needs it with her husband, you need it with your parents, children needed with their parents, you need it with your children. If you run a business, you need it with people with your customers and what is customer service except the best of manners. This is something that is needed in every aspect of life. And no matter how good your message is, if it comes packaged with bad manners, no one will accept that message. And evidence is in the verse where a large audience is speaking to the Prophet sallallahu wasallam and he says widow couldn't

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have been Ronnie them calbee lamb fragomen Holic and if you were harsh, crude or harsh hearted, hard hearted with the companions, they wouldn't have scattered from around you. We're talking about the best message ever the message of the Quran, the best hearts ever to receive this message the hearts of the companions. But if this great message came to these great vessels packaged with bad manners, they would have scattered. So that means even no matter how good your message is, it still has to come coupled with good manners in order for it to be accepted. And for that reason, Imam Malik Rahim Allah when he was a young boy, and now he started to seek knowledge, his mother being the wise woman

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for him, Allah, she tells him when he's going to go study with the great scholar of Medina or be autorai. She tells him his hub in Arabi. fatahna min Adobe here.

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She said, go to robbia and learn from his manners before you learn from his knowledge, because she was wise enough to know that if you just have knowledge, and it comes with bad manners packaged with bad airflow, then no one will accept it from you. And how many times do you see people who have a lot of good information in their heads, but it comes in a condescending manner in a rude manner, abrasive. So in the end, nobody wants to receive that information from them. So then what was the result of this good advice on the young man. When he became the scholar of Medina, he had one of his students a brilliant mind, who studied with him for 20 years. He says himself, he says in the first

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year, I gathered all of the knowledge of the Imam in one year, meaning every Hadith every narration, the Imam had, I learned it in one year. And then I remained for another 19 years. So for 19 years, it was just repetition, he said, remained for 19 years, just to learn from the adept and the manners of the Imam, how he dealt with the poor person, how he dealt with an ignorant person, how he dealt with his students with a fellow scholar, how he dealt with a mirror the ruler 19 years just to study from his manners. And then he says something more profound. He says, and now I wish that I had spent the entire 20 years just to learn from his manners. This is the importance of good manners. It's the

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effect of good manners on people. When we look at the Hadith, mentioning, having good luck having good manners, you find the greatest of rewards, just for having the good manners. So in one Hadith, and maybe salatu salam says, the most beloved of you to me, and the closest sitting next to me on the Day of Judgment, and this is something everyone would love, to be beloved by the prophet SAW Selim and to be sitting close to him on the Day of Judgment. What is what is the description of these people? Is it a lot of solar is it a lot of CRM and CRM, but the problem set has seen the best of you in manners, the ones most beloved to the Prophet lamb, sitting closest to him on the Day of

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Judgment are the best in manners and that was a description he gave some of us had done. Likewise, in another study, the most complete of believers in a man those who have the most complete Eman Asana, whom coloca the best of them in manners, you would think you'd be something else that would make you complete in a manner. But Subhanallah Lars we didn't made it, how you treat other people that makes you more complete in email.

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In another Hadith yet, and Nebojsa Selim says that the most be the people who are most beloved to Allah. Again, those who have good manners.

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In another Hadith,

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the prophet Selim says that I guarantee a house in the lower levels of agenda for those for the ones who doesn't lie who gives up lying. Even if he's joking, doesn't lie, I guarantee a house in the in the lower level of gender, then I guarantee a house in the middle of an agenda for the one who doesn't argue, even if he's right, because it's easy to not argue if you're wrong. But if you're right, you want to insist on your point. But if you give up arguing, even if you're right, NBC La La sanlam guarantees a house for you in the middle of Paradise, but then the highest, you guessed, I guarantee in the house in the highest level of paradise for those who have good manners. Every time

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you find the Hadith describing some magnificent reward, you find generally that it leads to it's due to something simple, relatively easy to do. And in the case of good manners, you find tremendous reward for having good manners, and Nabi sallallahu Sallam also made the litmus test of who is the best in the community how he treats his wife.

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The problem said, hydrocodone, hydrocodone, nearly one of

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the best of you are the best of you to their, to their wives to their family, meaning the wife and I'm the best of you to my wife's. So the scholar said, why is it that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam made this the litmus test who is the poorest person in the community is how he treats his wife. Because the scholar said someone can be gentle and sweet and kind in the masjid with the community showing signs of taqwa and a man. But when he goes home, he's a complete monster with his wife, threatening and yelling and raising his voice. But the scorer said if someone is gentle with his wife at home, then there is no doubt he is gentle everywhere else as well. But the opposite isn't

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necessarily true. Someone can be kind in public, but very nasty to his wife in private. But if you're not, you're nice to your wife privately, you're most likely nice to everyone else outside of the house as well.

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So then it was the litmus test of who is the best and it goes back to something that is good manners. In the end, how you treat your wife is all based on good manners.

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Abu hurayrah rhodiola han who asked the Prophet sallallahu Sallam of the top two things that take people to paradise, and he asked of the top two things that they take people to the hellfire. So when it comes to the top two reasons that things will take people into agenda and Nabi sallallahu Sallam said taqwa Allah,

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Allah, tala being mindful of a love being always aware that Allah is watching you, and having good manners. These are the top two things take people to paradise. And then in the top two things that take people to the Hellfire and Nabi sallallahu Sallam said, alpha Mo, when Forge, the mouth and the private parts, the mouth, what comes out of the mouth, everything that's bad manners, lying, backbiting, spreading rumors, all that is part of bad manners. So that means then we see good manners being of the top two things that take your agenda, and bad manners of the top two things that take people to the Hill far enough.

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If there's ever a hadith to emphasize the importance of good manners. It is the Hadith that became known as the hadith of and muffle is the one who is bankrupt. And Avi sallallahu wasallam was sitting with the companions and he asked him a question. As a grown man named Morpheus. Do you know who is the one who is bankrupt? Call jasola and move Li Safina Muladhara hamara who would Amata The one who is bankrupt amongst us is the one that has no dyrham no currency, no money and no possessions either. So they're seeing it literally being bankrupt. So then the Prophet sallallahu Sallam described to them the muffle is the one who is bankrupt. He is the one who comes forth on the

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Day of Judgment with a mountain of good deeds, a lot of good deeds, how did he acquire these good deeds, no doubt through giving in charity, no doubt through salah and swam, and preamp all kinds of good deeds that he was doing all kinds of acts of worship that he was doing to secure this mountain of good deeds. But the prophet London describes that he is also insulted this person and hit that person and took the wealth of that person, bad manners. So they will come and take from his good deeds, or the Day of Judgment, those who offend you pay them back in truly hard currency, you'll give them back from your good deeds. On the day of judgment. We recognize the value of our good

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deeds, if you have a million Hashanah, and your dear sweet mother wants one to make it to a gym that you wouldn't give her one. Even though you have millions. On that day, you recognize the value of good deeds. So now this person is giving them from the most beloved thing to him from his good deeds and they take from it and that's why as a side note buttons

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Especially if you don't like someone, don't say anything bad about them, especially if you don't like them. Because then you're giving someone you don't like the most valuable thing you will ever possess, and that is your good deeds. So a long line of people, this man has a mountain of good deeds, but there's a long line of people that he was rude to that he insulted or he was unjust to. So they will start to take from his good deeds, and the other will take from his good deeds, until this whole mountain is gone, the mountain expires, but there's still a line of people. So then he will start to take from their bad deeds. And then the process ends the Hadith by saying, then he

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will be thrown into the hellfire.

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But to understand in to make this hadith even more dramatic, where does this take place? Where does the settling of accounts between the believers, where does it take place, it takes place in front of the gates of agenda.

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That means this man made it through so many different stages and stations on the Day of Judgment. And now he's finally in front of the gates of agenda. But believers don't enter agenda with hatred and unsettled accounts between them. They enter when everything is cleared between them. So what they're waiting for the door to open, then one by one will be called up this is so and so the son of so and so if you have anything come and take it. And you would love if you have something to take from your own family members, let alone a stranger. So what does that mean? If he's standing right in front of the gates of agenda, he passed through so many different stages, due to his good deeds,

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and his good acts of worship with between him and Allah xojo. death itself is difficult. And for the believers, it's easier than for someone who's a disbeliever. But perhaps he made it through the difficulty of the stupors of death and death itself because of his good deeds. And then he was put into his grave. And because of his good deeds, he was able to answer the three questions of the graves and Allah subhanaw taala spared him the punishment in the grave, then the Day of Resurrection itself is 50,000 years long. The one day is 50,000 years long, and some people will feel every second of 50,000 years. And some people will feel like it's just half a day, part of a day according

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to your good deeds. And maybe because of his good deeds. It felt like a very short day and he made it past a day of judgment. And then he had to be called in front of Allah subhanaw taala. As an epistle Sallam said, you will stand in front of a large surgeon and he described les Sabina who have been a Hutu German, no translator between you and a large soldier. And a large we will go through your records and ask you about everything who is looking forward to that. But perhaps this man made it through because of his good deeds as well. And then he crossed the ciroc the bridge suspended over the hellfire. And some people try to crawl over it, some people fall off of it, and they're put

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back upon it because of a good deed. But maybe he just passed through it. That difficult stage he just passed through it because of his good deeds. And now he's just standing in front of gates of agenda, waiting for it to be opened.

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But he overlooked the importance of good manners and lines of people will come take that mountain of good deeds, give him a mountain of bad deeds and then he's thrown into the Hellfire will earn even after passing all these stages, he's thrown into the hellfire. What does that tell us about the importance of good manners in Islam?

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Hola Hola. Hola. was tough for La La La La La La La Cucina. Nope, festival fair frozen Mr. Vain escolares again for his forgiveness, Indeed, those who ask for forgiveness shall prosper.

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hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah. I mean, he was talking

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about

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there's a saying in English that says, If what you believe in does not impact how you behave, then what you believe in is not important. And in order for any strong belief you have, if it doesn't impact how you behave and how you act, then that means it's not that important, or at least it's not that important to you. And so from the importance of good manners is that even the acts of worship, were designed to impact your manners and impact your behavior allows you to get it says welcome is Salah insalata 10 ha I will fascia and establish the prayer Indeed, the Salah prevents sins reprehensible acts, which also include bad manners, the act of worship, and then you have the impact

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that has on your manners when it comes to hygiene laws against his fellow Rafa Phu colada Phil Hodge, talking again about manners, vain talk and arguing and hudge the act of worship and the impact it has on your manners, and in fasting from the Hadith and Nabi sallallahu Sallam taught us that if you're fasting and someone wants to fight with your insults you

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You say out loud, so they hear it in Islam in Islam, I am fasting, I am fasting. You don't even respond in like manner, but you just announced that you're fasting. So we have the act of worship, and we have the impact that has on your club. So from the importance of good manners is that even the acts of worship were designed to affect your manners and to improve your manners.

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Now, this doesn't mean that one can ignore the act of worship and just focus on being nice to everyone because our religion is split into two parts. That would mama Do you have the acts of worship, and then you have dealings, your acts of worship are between you and Allah azza wa jal and dealings are between you and the rest of humanity. You need the both together, what we find a lot of times in our communities, we find both extremes where one person is a devout worshipper, but any encounter with them ends up abrasive that you just either hurts or insults or says something condescending, even though he's focusing on the acts of worship. On the other spectrum, we find

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people who are extremely nice and they don't pray, and they tell you things like, I don't pray, but I'm good to everyone. So unless you take them into agenda, it's a combination of both. You have your acts of worship between you and a lot and your dealings with people. And that is the balance that is how to keep it in the middle. So you pray you fast you do the good deeds, and you have good manners and it's not one or the other. But the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said that indeed, that a person will with his good manners reached the degree to get a saw him as with your good manners, you will reach the rank the degree of someone who is constantly fasting and constantly praying night

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in another generation Internet with Odin and Mohammed, the someone who is constantly praying at night and constantly fasting you can reach their level with your good manners.

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Likewise, and that is also narrated by tirmidhi he says my minchie infant Maison Paolo Min postnl Hello, there is nothing on your scale on the day of judgment because on the Day of Judgment, Allah azza wa jal will bring your good deeds, and they will physically be weighed on a physical actual scale. And the processor limb is telling us what is the densest heaviest act of worship to be put on your scale. And you would imagine it to be so long, you would imagine it to be at the arm or siyam. But he said, the heaviest thing to be put on your scale on the day of judgment will be your good manners.

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And for that reason, one of the scholars and one of the early Muslims yagnam and Rahim Allah He used to say, Good Deeds do not make up for bad manners. While good manners might make up for bad deeds. Good Deeds do not make up for bad manners. Just like we saw in the Hadith of the mufflers. He had a lot of good deeds, but he has bad manners, his good deeds didn't make up for the bad manners, he lost all his good deeds. But he said your good manners the might make up for your bad deeds, because they're heavy on your skill on the Day of Judgment. And the righteous before us were aware of that. And they were very careful as to what came out of their mouth, amounts of fear and authority over

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him a whole lot. It reached him that some people were saying some bad things about them about him. So he understands. They're saying bad things about me on the Day of Judgment, I can take away the most valuable thing, their good deeds. So he sent them a bowl of dates with an with a message saying it has come to my attention that you have assigned to me You have given me some of your good deeds. I couldn't find anything with which to thank you besides this bowl of good bowl of data, so please accept it from me. He understands what that means. The same matter hemolysis and authority someone came to him and he said I have never ever seen Abu hanifa backbiting are talking talking about about

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anyone. He says Nam, Abu hanifa mean you suddenly Allah has has an anti miyabi he says Abu hanifa is more wise, more intelligent than to let someone take away his good deeds. You speak bad about someone, they take away your good deeds.

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I'm not gonna ask Allah Han who he used to say al Qaeda, Al Qaeda speaking is like medicine. In a close I mean, who NASA we're in a short term and who he used to say speaking is like medicine, a little of it cures, and a lot of it kills. And that is that is exactly how it is a little bit of speech cures, and it fixes the situation too much of it. When someone talks too much. What do you want to you want to die from so much of his speech. So part of the way to control are good manners and also to control our tongue. In the end, we'll give

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two pieces of advice. The first thing is let us be realistic in evaluating how good our manners are.

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with other people, you find people making excuses for bad manners, they will tell you things like I'm very calm, and less provoked. But that's the whole world. Everyone is calm unless provoked. The whole world is like that. Everybody wakes up calm, this thing is calm, and less than one provokes them, but you're calm. If you're provoked, and you remain calm, that is the real test. So let us not make excuses for any of our shortcomings. The other thing is, a lot of times people if they see something hurtful to someone else, they defend their statement. So if you say something hurtful to someone, and they tell you what you said, hurt my feelings, then you start to argue that no, it

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wasn't hurtful, you can't make that argument, you've already lost the fact that your statement hurt someone already. That means they're right, and you're wrong. It has already hurt someone. So it's not your place to argue if it hurt the individual or not. They already told you that. So you can't win that one. So what is proper in this case would be to apologize and to explain that you didn't mean for it to be hurtful, but not to argue that it wasn't hurtful, or no, it was not rude. It was really it was received as rude and perceived as rude. That's the end of the story.

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So

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and the other thing that is very important brothers and sisters in law, fair pay attention to this is that good manners is a constant. It's not a cloak I put on in different places, to some people in business. They tell you businesses business, and they're rude. And they interrupt and they say hurtful things, and they're cutthroat. And then after it's over after the meeting, they say, now we're friends. As if you put on a cloak of good manners, you remove the cloak of good manners, but it's not. It's something that is constant that stays with you. In every situation. No matter where you are, no matter what you do.

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We ask Allah, to make use of those who recognize the truth as clear truth and follow the rest of it, to make use of those who recognize falsehood as clear falsehood and abstain from it for lahoma and and hot

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water in a bottle a bottle and words of nastiness, for luminati jalandoni, Aqua homina

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homina.

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We ask Allah subhanaw taala to grant victory to Islam and to the Muslims. We ask Allah to grant freedom to all the Muslims who are being held and dealt with and just around the world. And we ask Allah to grant victory and ease and freedom to the Muslims of Syria, and to the Muslims in Iraq, and the Muslims in Kashmir, and in Yemen, and in Bangladesh, and in Burma, and in Philistine and in all parts of the world. The Honorable alameen for lahoma Abdullah herding lomatium roastin you are Sufi robotic with the fear animosity with Murphy hibben maruf were you unhappy and Moncure SME Ah, Salama about it. I don't go into hunting in Ireland. Meanwhile, the big main Docomo in Hong Kong Ola