Back Biting

share this pageShare Page
Kamal El-Mekki

Channel: Kamal El-Mekki

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:17--> 00:01:12

without a heart or him hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah hill I mean while he was happy he had mine and my bad today are hookah is about a Riba is about backbiting meaning speaking about someone saying something bad about them while they are not present. And Allah subhanaw taala in surah Taha gerat He says what I suggest says who when I asked the bow locum Baba, are you here? How to come a year Kula? Nah, he made an fuckery to move. What toquilla In Allah Jota Wahba Rahim, Allah Subhana Allah says, do not spy on one another and do not back by to one another with one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother. And then Allah subhanaw taala says Surely

00:01:12--> 00:01:30

you would hate that that is something hate it to you for courage to move because the answer of course, everybody would hate something like that. What toquilla So fear Allah in Allah Azza wa Rahim indeed Allah subhanaw taala is Forgiving and Merciful.

00:01:32--> 00:02:17

Backbiting or a Riba is from an kabbah from the major sins and linguistically Ilieva Minella vape. Well, who are called malherbe Ankeny, it is whatever it is from the unseen from that root of something being unseen. And it is, whatever happens while you are not there, or what happens behind your back. And even in English, it's called backbiting and even that term comes from a place of being something regarded as unsportsmanlike. It goes back to when they used to have dogs fight with bears, and the bear and the dog might attack the bear from behind, and that even that was regarded for animals unsportsmanlike to attack from behind.

00:02:18--> 00:02:59

The Prophet sallallahu wasallam defined it for us in the Hadith and Nabi SallAllahu sallam said uttered Runa Mala Ziva, do you know what is backbiting? They said, Allahu wa rasuluh Allah, Allah and His Messenger know best, calling up the crooked a haka be Maya Keira, pro Salam said, it's when you mentioned your brother, which that which he dislikes. So it's specifically that which is not good or that which they would dislike for you to mention about them. So sometimes someone will come to us as last night, we were backbiting you. We were saying all these good things about you. That's what consider today but it's not backbiting and it's not backbiting if the person is okay with it,

00:03:00--> 00:03:16

even if it's something negative, and if someone has one eye or one arm and he always jokes about himself as he calls himself one eyed foot on, you know, one ID or whatever it is, then in this case he's completely okay with it doesn't offend him, and he calls himself that then it's not the diva in that case.

00:03:17--> 00:03:59

So then the companions or ask the Prophet SAW Selim, what if what we say is true. What if what we're saying is true, because many people confuse riba with saying something that is untrue. If it's true, then it's not the diva. That's exactly the definition of diva Allah Allah Salam in canovee Hema taco taco taco if it is true, what you're saying then you have committed li but that's the exact definition of riba where Illumio convenienza Taku facut Berto, and if it is not in him what you're saying if it's not true, then you have slandered them you have spoken an untruth about them. So the big the first one, speaking something true, that's negative about a person. That's the essence of

00:03:59--> 00:04:02

Riba. That's the exact definition of Riba.

00:04:03--> 00:04:44

In the Quran, Allah subhanaw taala says way liquidly humanity Lumumba, and a number of new facilities, including Qatada and Mujahid and Imam Malik and Ashok Kearney Rahim Allah, all these scholars, they said that a home as a here is referring to eating the flesh of others, meaning they're referring to backbiting. And you see, the example of eating the flesh mentioned a number of times the companion ma as of nomadic when he was stoned for adultery upon his insistence, not the courts, but he insisted to be stoned. So he could be excavated from that sin.

00:04:46--> 00:04:59

Then two men the problem overheard two men talking about him and they said, and I'm Tara in her her the lady set her Allahu Ali fell into that who enough so had Regina Raj mal Kayla

00:05:00--> 00:05:10

I said do not see this one. Allah subhanaw taala protected him or shielded him his sin from the public, but he insisted until he was stoned like a dog.

00:05:11--> 00:06:00

So the prostate limb remained quiet. And as they were continuing they came upon the carcass of a donkey donkey. So he said Aina Fulani were Fulani were so and so were the two men. So he said in unzila, for coulomb in G Fatiha that. Hey, Mr. C said dismount get off from your riding animals and eat from this carcass of this donkey. So they said yeah, and maybe Allah Mejia colada, you're also who eats something like this, who can eat that honey. He said what you just said about your brother is easier and lighter in the sight of Allah. Then eating from this carcass, which is haram. It's a dead animal and it's a donkey. And that eating from that is easier on the side of Allah, then what

00:06:00--> 00:06:19

you just said about your brother. So you wonder how something that is so serious, has become so easy upon our tongues, and Nabi sallallahu alayhi salam admonished Aisha Radi Allahu Anhu for seeing something much lesser and lighter than that and then what we hear in our gatherings

00:06:20--> 00:06:53

shall belong on her she said has will come in Sofia and Maha cathedra. She basically referring to Sofia, the other wife of the Prophet said love She said that she's short. That's all she said. And maybe selasa lamp tells her locker quality Kalimantan low musi jet Bhima ill Buhari, la Masato, this word that you have spoken. If it were if it materialized. And we mixed it with the water of the sea, it will contaminate the water of the sea. Yeah. And it is powerful enough to affect the water of the entire sea or ocean.

00:06:55--> 00:06:56

So

00:06:57--> 00:07:10

it is so serious Backbiting is so serious, that if you're sitting with people who are backbiting, they're backbiting, you are not backbiting, you are blameworthy and you're sinful, even though you didn't open your mouth.

00:07:12--> 00:07:30

Why? Because your job is to advise them to stop. And you didn't, or to you get up and you will leave that gathering and the scholars likened it to when Allah mentioned that if you're sitting with people who are ridiculing and mocking the Ayat of Allah, Allah, Allah says in the Quran,

00:07:31--> 00:08:09

don't sit with them. So they said the same ruling applies here. So you either get up and leave, or you advise them to stop to not backbite. Or you can abruptly change the subject, for example. And the scholars also say the person sitting, he may not take part in it, but he's just happy in his heart to hear it because he doesn't like full on anyways doesn't like that guy. And in his heart, he's happy that someone is saying all these things about him, even though he's not but he's still blameworthy and sinful. And they said the only exemption here the only person who would not be sinful in that gathering is the person who is in a position of weakness, I need to use a historical

00:08:09--> 00:08:53

example. Someone is sitting in the gathering of the Khalifa and the Khalifa is backbiting. If he tells them, it tequila, his head will get chopped off. If he says anything and he can't he's weak in this position, he is not blameworthy. Alright. So and likewise in the Quran is written with death. Allah azza wa jal says, upon the tongue of the people of the Hellfire, when they were asked why they're in the Hellfire they mentioned a number of things, including that they didn't pray. And then they mentioned well couldn't a hobo malha Ilene? So we would just engage in whatever people were engaged in and hear Qatada Rahima, Hola, como Vista, he says, Kula Mau when Valina Ma, whenever

00:08:53--> 00:09:36

whatever someone who delved into, we delve into it with them. And so they were responsible for being part of that sin, from the punishments of Backbiting is that there is punishment in the grave as we know in the famous Hadith when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam passed by the graves by two graves, and he heard them and Allah azza wa jal allowed him for that period, to hear that they were being or to know at least that they were being tormented in their grave. So in one narration, one of them is to not shield himself from being cut his clothing being contaminated and soiled with urine and the other and the other nourishing the porcelain says, one man, for your double believer, the

00:09:36--> 00:09:38

other one is punished because of his backbiting.

00:09:40--> 00:09:59

And in the era, there is a punishment for that as well. And there is a law Salam says lemma Oribi when I ascended to the heavens mer to Bill Coleman Lahoma avant Minow has I passed by people who had huge nails made of brass Yeah,

00:10:00--> 00:10:21

Michonne would you homeschool daughter home and they're scratching their faces and their chests constantly tearing up their faces and their chest? For whom and how old are you algebra into algebra and who are these people? He says How old are Latina yet karuna, Lahoma. Nurse? Well your car I'm gonna fill out all the him. He said these are the people who eat the flesh of people meaning they backbiting people and they slander them as well.

00:10:23--> 00:11:03

And one of the most dangerous things brothers and sisters about Backbiting is that it is from the sins that are against people. And the scholars say you can break up sins into two categories, one that sins that you commit that are against Allah azza wa jal, and we know how forgiving Allah subhanaw taala is, if you're sincere in repenting, but the other category sins against people and the dangerous thing about backbiting. It could be that Allah subhanaw taala will forgive you for committing that sin. But they said that does not cancel out the damage you've done, nor does it cancel out the rights of the person that you hurt, so they could still get it from you on the Day of

00:11:03--> 00:11:35

Judgment. So in the second hotbin Shala, we're going to look at how to expiate the sin, if you've been backbiting How can I get that erased from my book of deeds? And how do I correct it? And what is it that you're that it's permissible to talk about someone and it's not backbiting and then how to stop yourself from falling into it. Aquila colada was tough for Allah and Emily, welcome in general, you know, first of all through via Fosun Mr. Freeman, ask Allah subhanaw taala first forgiveness Indeed, those who ask for forgiveness shall prosper.

00:11:52--> 00:12:35

hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah Hill, I mean, what he was like be a Jemaine about. So what do you do if you have spoken about someone who spoken ill about someone when they were not present backbiting? So the first in any case, you always make your personal Toba to Allah azza wa jal between you and Allah where you resolve to not go back to it, you stopped doing it, you say I'm never going to do this again. And you have some sort of remorse feel bad for what you have done. But in the case where the person what you said about them didn't reach them, only the person is oblivious to what you've said. They haven't heard that you were saying bad things about

00:12:35--> 00:13:11

them. In this case. You seek forgiveness for them, not from them. You seek forgiveness for them. Yeah. I spoke about so and so. Then one of the ways to expat what I've done is I ask Allah Subhana Allah to forgive so and so for his sins, yeah, Allah, forgive him for his sins and pardon him for the mistakes and so on and so forth. I make dua, asking Allah to forgive that person. That's one thing that scholars mentioned. The other thing they said, you mentioned them with good in the same gathering and in front of the same people. Yes, you were backbiting and said bad things about him in front of four people, make sure you go back to these four people and say good things this time. This

00:13:11--> 00:13:53

isn't a case where the person has no idea that you even said these bad things. But in the case where the news reached the person, because there was a shaitan, from the humans amongst the audience, who rushed to tell them what you said, in this case, how do you expiate? If the news reached them, then you ask for their forgiveness. We said In any case, you ask Allah Israel's forgiveness. But now here you want to get them to pardon you specifically. And there is also limits to Hey Buhari, he said men can attend the home of Ramadan, they agree fully at a halal who minha Yanni whoever has done some kind of injustice to his brother and of course, these kinds of a hadith they mean the sister as

00:13:53--> 00:14:37

well. So you should get them to forgive you for them now, and the problem describes for in the WHO Lisa thumb, meaning on the Day of Judgment, there is no D now 1101 There is no gold dinars, no silver Durham's, there's no currency to pay someone back, and it will be taken from your good deeds. And if you don't have good deeds, a problem continues. They will take their bad deeds and it will be thrown on you. So you ask that person to forgive you. And what's important here, if somebody comes to you, and ask you, and you don't have to go into specific, severe details, and sometimes you can just say that I spoke ill of you. And you know, I'm asking you to forgive me and I made Toba from

00:14:37--> 00:15:00

that and, and I think highly of you and so on and so forth. Sometimes people come and give you details of the nasty things they said and that angers you more. Now, if someone comes to you and says, I have you know, I was backbiting and stop Tucker and I said this about you don't start an investigation of dilemma huddle, type. Why did you say that? And who else was there and then you go

00:15:00--> 00:15:37

Did that person why didn't you defend me? After mahalo calm and full investigation in don't do that the person came for you to pardon them if you're capable. And you should just pardon them don't go into further details. So then when is it acceptable to talk about someone and it's not Riba and it's not backbiting. There's some obvious ones, if you're bringing a complaint against someone to the judge, then you're going to say, the bad things that person did, but you bring it to the judge, or the arbitrator, or the Imam who's going to fix the problem for you. In this case, it's not labor, if you're seeking

00:15:39--> 00:16:15

assistance in changing among car, and you're three very close friends, and you discover something bad about one of them. And that other friend is able to help you in changing this munkar or in advising the friend you let him know that I found out that so and so's whatever addicted to this, or does that sin commits that sin? We need to talk to him together? Yes, but you can't go and Allah knows what's in people's hearts. Sometimes people go to someone who can't help. They just want to spread the news. But they make it look like help me with so and so top, I don't even know so and so that well, you know, I can't help in this situation is that you're using this as a cover up to

00:16:15--> 00:17:01

spread the back that bad news, but Allah Subhana Allah knows. But when it's sincere, it's not considered backbiting in this case, to warn of someone's evil. Or when you're asked to give Naziha and be Salah Salem, Fatima bin to case of Allah Ana, she came to him, she's asking about three men to possibly marry one of them. He tells her the first one has no money. The second one hits women, and go for some of these eight. That's the best one is this backbiting? She's asking you to say Hi, in this case, and when someone is asking you for advice, you can give them Naziha. And this is the same category also what the scholars use in the field of Alger Jota deal when they evaluate men who

00:17:01--> 00:17:37

is trustworthy, who's truthful, who's a liar. This is not backbiting this was done to preserve the religion and the Hadith. So in the same way, you can give the person they'll see why because they asked you so and so wants to go into business with me she did she do you think I should do it or not. And you know, that person is very bad with money or maybe dishonest. So you can tell them these bad things about the person. And it's not backbiting. However, once you've given them enough examples, and they're convinced that that person is not a good person to go into business with any extra information now is considered backbiting.

00:17:39--> 00:17:59

Is that clear? Yanni, I give you three points I gave you the first point, you're not convinced. Second point, I told you a third story. And then you're convinced Lala Hollis if that's the case, I'm not going to go into business with him. But let me give you a fourth and fifth law, Habib, Murphy, fourth and fifth. Now this is backbiting The point was reached, and he's convinced anything extra, now you're getting a sin for that.

00:18:00--> 00:18:40

And one who is already public about their sins, someone who is public about their sins and post them on social media and talks about them openly no repentance, no sign of righteousness, this person when he talks about their wickedness, there is no backbiting in this kind of situation, or is the scholars also mentioned a hermetic someone who is a Muqtada. And he's upon falsehood and calling people to misguidance warning people of this type of person, or saying that they're that type of person is not backbiting in this case, the last thing we discuss is the non Muslim. The many people will say you can backbite the non Muslim because they're non Muslim.

00:18:42--> 00:19:21

And then, of course, the correct opinion is you can't do that. Because it's not about them being Muslim or non Muslim, it's about you is this a whole of a characteristic and a behavior that you want that behaves or B fits the believing man or woman. So it doesn't matter what the other person is, do you go around backbiting people? That's the first thing. And so the scholars say yes, you are not allowed to backbite a non Muslim. So at the office, I'm going on and talking every non Muslim by their non Muslims, do you curse them? Do you lie to them? Also, do you say use profanity against them? Because those are o'clock that you don't want in yourself? It's not about the other person,

00:19:21--> 00:19:59

whether they're Muslim or not, or they deserve it or not. It's about the mannerisms that you want to have in you. So with that, we ask Allah subhanaw taala to make us of those who hear the truth has clear truth and follow the best of it. And to make us of those who recognize falsehood as clear falsehood and abstain from it for Allah Hamid Khan was looking at the bath water in a bottle bottle and was Allahumma la jolla. Dunya Kabara Homina Well, I'm a blogger elemina wala Elena Remo Sirona Allahumma Belinda, hello Matthew I'm lost in the Arctic with Duffy nomothetic William Murphy bill my roof while you're in Hawaii here Andaman? Correct yes mr. Dua. Also Allah

00:20:00--> 00:20:06

Mubarak on both Ramadan in Isla meanwhile early he was so happy he has remained welcome with Hong Kong luck