Your Family Your Source of Peace

Ismail Kamdar

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Channel: Ismail Kamdar

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AI: Summary © The concept of "immaturity and fuselo" is discussed in the Quran, where people are focused on their desires and interests. The natural cycle of life is highlighted as the most important aspect of one's life, and the "has been in touch" concept is discussed in media and society. The importance of educating younger generation about the natural cycle of life and avoiding negative impacts of marriage is emphasized.
AI: Transcript ©
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From the

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man who when he noticed the fear of

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hate or comedy, and also the the immaturity and fusina coming see here the Yama, Nina Miyazaki Hiller who further mandala will make you look for the hobby of Coca Cola who died of in Quran emoji by Amina Shivani regime Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem Wamena if he put me on pause ecommerce world leadership guru la wa Jaga been knocking on the door Rama in a visa Nicola is really gonna hit overcome.

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Last week we spoke about

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the Quran, the Quran is a prescription for finding happiness and inner peace.

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And the Quran gives us multiple ways to find inner peace.

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The most important one that we discussed last week is allow music, relax that my inner column, that your hearts will only find true happiness in the remembrance of Allah,

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your relationship with Allah subhana wa Taala that is most important for finding inner peace.

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Today, I want us to look at a different

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prescription in the Quran for inner peace, one that's more social.

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And that is the family. What Allah subhanho wa Taala when he describes marriage in the Quran, he says leaders

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so that you can find peace in each other's company,

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you can become each other source of happiness

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Sakina peace, happiness, this can be found in marriage and family.

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And this is an overlooked source of happiness in the modern world. Now we live in a very strange time, we live in probably the only generation I know of when people are not enthusiastic to get married.

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Now for the bulk of human history, people couldn't wait to grow up and get married. You were excited at the prospect of marriage, you know, you have to keep the boys and girls apart because you want it that is too much attraction.

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But now between individualism, and the love of wealth, and the hatred for the opposite gender,

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we have many young people who have no interest in average. And when you talk to them about nowadays, you see, why are you worried about marriage, I just want to be happy, as acknowledged gets in the way of happiness. I think about this, why Allah says that in the company of your spouse, you will find happiness.

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But people today say I want to get married, I want to be happy.

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We flip the script so badly that we think the very thing that Allah created to be a source of happiness would be the opposite who would be the source of my happiness for us. Now, where does this thinking come from? This comes from a lot of

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brainwashing going on in the media and society that most people are unaware of. Right there is a concept called individualism also with this generation hyper individualism, what is hyper individualism, it is the focus on oneself and only one self knifes enough see myself myself, it is this idea that all that matters is me, myself and I my ideas, my goals, my preferences, my desires, my identity, with the world becomes all about me. And when you become your own god, read you become your own God, when you when you that self obsessed, and everything becomes about what's going to make me happy, what's going to bring me joy, what's going to help me achieve my goals. And anything

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that brings about the slightest bit of inconvenience, the slightest bit of responsibility, the slightest bit of having to compromise for somebody else, it gets thrown out the window.

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And the first thing to get thrown out the window, in the pursuit of one's own selfish desires is family. Because let's face it, family comes with responsibility. Family comes with compromise. Family comes with having to put somebody else before yourself.

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So if someone's being brought up with this idea that all that matters is you and all that matters is your desires. And if you truly want to be happy, just focus on doing whatever makes you happy. Why would that person want to bring somebody else into the picture where that person's happiness now becomes a priority over the world.

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So now we have people saying things like I don't want to have children too much responsibility.

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I don't want to get married too much responsibility. I want to be free. I want to be happy. I want to be handcuffed. Right

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I would say that these individuals, and they are alive today, they are many today. They are deluded when she died,

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they are deluded by the devil.

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Because it is easier for the devil to seduce someone when they are alone. It is easier for the devil to lead someone astray. When they are alone. It is easier for the wolf to catch that sheep that is alone in the sheep that is in the flock.

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And so what she's done has done in our times, he tries to isolate us.

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He tries to get us to be just focused on ourselves all are no good, let's face it, if you are living with a spouse, your spouse is going to keep you in check, right? We don't wake you up for virtually Whitestone make sure you wake up a budget. If you start getting lazy with a job, your husband's going to make sure you win the jackpot. Right marriage keeps you in check. Help people that want that. So they want to be alone, because they want to be free.

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to Now when they are alone, you're not alone. It's demonstrated. Now she can't help you to wake up tomorrow. There's no one there helping them. Right it is it's not a one on one battle. Much harder during the battle when you're alone.

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It's easier to win when you have a team, when you have people working together. See why Islam is so focused on society, on family and community or in Central America. Because we have to be together, we have to fight the battle against the devil together, we can't do it on our own.

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But she can't tries to get you alone. So he tells you any tricks you and He lies to you. And he says that you will find happiness in being alone.

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If you live alone, you can do whatever you want, you will be happy.

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You have to listen to your parents, you don't have to worry about a nagging spouse. And after a while your children's you can be happy. This is a lie disregard is serving an entire generation.

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Because what people not seeing is those same people today in the 20s and 30s. Who said yeah, I'm gonna be happy being alone, after they move on their own. And it kind of ties with their parents, they don't think about getting married, they don't think about having children 2030 years down the line, that entire generation are going to be connected. Because nobody's thinking long term. Everyone's only thinking about now and your and your desires.

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So here's what's going to happen. If you have an entire generation that doesn't want to get married and doesn't want to have children. Number one, you're going to have a population decline. You know, we boast about Islam is increasing, because we have so many children. It's not happening with the younger generation.

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Now, we're the only ones who have children, population that you claim. But more than that individually, maybe you'll decide later in life. Okay, now I want to get married. When a doctor says oh, sorry, you can't have children, past the age too late, shouldn't get married 10 years ago, if you wanted to have kids, you can't turn back the clock. You can't undo what he's done. You can't change the fact that you only have a limited time, especially for women to have children before, you know,

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you aren't able to do so biologically.

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They want you to what happens if you turn 40 or 50 or 60. And you realize your parents have passed away. There's some things that postulate you have no spouse, you have no children, and not one of them.

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All alone, because life goes through a cycle. The natural cycle of life is your child. You have your parents, your grandparents, your siblings, uncles and aunts. As you get older, that generation starts dying out, replacing them in your life is just bouncing your children and your grandchildren. But if you're not working and happening spouse and children and grandchildren, no one's replacing him in one day you find yourself completely alone.

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And then we hear stories of people who in the past really nobody even knows that could have been late to the neighborhood smelled something coming from the house, because they live such a lonely lives that nobody even checks up on you don't have people this is a tragedy and this this is going to happen to more and more people if you choose the path of loneliness.

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So what can we do to combat this? What can we do to change the narrative and get people back to what is natural.

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And really family is the natural way. And we can prove this to Quran we can prove just a tsunami even just prove the true basic biology by

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you know, in the time of the Sahaba there was some youngsters who didn't want you to be extra pious. So one of them said I'm going to play the 100 Every night I'm never going to sleep. One of them said that I'm going too fast every day of my life. And one of them said I'm going to you know never get married. You know it's the Virgin for life. Never get married. You thought that was piety.

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Rasul Allah Allah nice some familiarity about this. He stood up and he gave a football and he said that I am the best of you. I fast some days I don't force in other days. I sleep at night.

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Pray for portion of the night and analogy of any woman. And he said that managing my pseudonym, whoever strays from him is not up to me.

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So what is the Sunnah what is a naturally what is the way we are meant to be we are meant to be in families.

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We are meant to have close relationships with our families. And that is a primary source of happiness. It is a primary source of joy as a primary source of peace. What happens when you don't have family, you're more likely to feel lonely, you're more likely to feel depressed, you're more likely to feel suicidal.

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Because you're denying yourself a natural source of happiness.

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So do not fall for the devil's deception.

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The devil is lying to cheat on his lie to you when he says that you'd be happy if you are no, no, you'll be happy if you follow the Sunnah. If you do things that naturally, that's where you will find happiness.

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So what we need to do, number one, we need to educate our younger generation about marriage. This is a huge problem, not just in South Africa, globally, young people are being raised just to be worker bees that have been raised to work and have a career and that's it. They're not taught how to be husbands or wives or mothers or fathers or community members or volunteers, or involved in the society or good neighbor is just work. Life has just become work and nothing else. And we see it in the way communities are changing, right? With the older generation, many people would volunteer, many people who want shader programs, many people will want to get involved in community, people

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wanting to get down with people wanting to have children. And now the younger generation is just work at Netflix and video games. That's become their life. Absolutely no sense of family, no sense of community, this needs to change. And for this to change, who begins with what you educate them on and how we educate them. We have to teach the next generation, the importance of marriage, and how to make a marriage work. We have to teach them a importance of parenting. And if you expect it to one day, become parents and raise their own children. We have to teach you the importance of community making them attend Islamic programs have having a volunteer having them being part of a

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community, we cannot allow them to become so cut off for other people that is just there to shutdown meaning we have to rebuild society and family.

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Another thing we need to do to change this is we need to change the narrative about how we talk about marriage.

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This has been a problem for a long time in our community, that almost anytime the topic of marriage comes up, it's jokes about how marriage is oppression how marriage is jail, no marriage, handcuffs on marriages, you know with all these negative ideas, and he told you don't love sending it to university in case you get divorced, working. Right. You're only putting in her mind the concept of divorce before teaching about marriage.

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When I'm teaching, if you're teaching in a marriage is a bad thing. That marriage is something you don't want. That marriage is something oppressive. Something that's going to hold you down something that you wish you could get out of. That's what you're seeing when you when you when you talk about damage negatively. We need to change it Allah subhanaw taala never in the Quran speaks about marriage negatively. Look at the verse of you're talking about Allah says about marriage and Cindy does from the signs of Allah. It is a miracle. It is a proof of the existence of Allah. In the shura, Shura room. Allah subhanho wa Taala lists for us the proofs of the existence of Allah and one

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of the proofs is marriage. One of the truths of the existence of Allah is marriage. And then look how he describes it. He says, let the school know

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so that you can find peace and happiness in each other's company. What your Anabaena Kuma water of aroma and you find love and compassion with each other.

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And you said in the PISA Nicola in the Go me and Apopka rule in these are sites with people who take if you think about the fact that two strangers who didn't know each other for 20 or 30 years, can meet each other and fought so much in love with each other, that they spend the rest of their life together and they have children together, they produce an entire family together. This is a sign of the existence of Allah. He's the one who put the love between their hearts.

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So the Quranic Mecca method of teaching us about marriage is to portray positively, it is a sign of Allah, it is a source of Sakina, the source of mawatha.

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But when we talk about it, we talk about it negatively. We talk about it, as you know, you're going to settle down, we're going to get handcuffed you're gonna be held down by your spouse. This is not the sooner this is the opposite of what Islam teaches. So we need to change the narrative. We need to make sure that we are talking to our children, especially our teenagers and youngsters in the early 20s About Marriage positively as if it's something to look forward to something exciting something that's going to bring joy and blessing and happiness to their life because that is what the Quran says man you're supposed to do. And if you do that,

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Maybe you look forward to it, maybe you'll want to live Valley, maybe you'll want to, you know, start your own families one day.

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So this is an important part of the Islamic concept of happiness, that we find happiness in

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family.

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And we can extend this further. Your relationship with your parents can be a source of happiness. Your relationship with your siblings can be a source of happiness for you. Your relationship with your broader family can be a source of happiness for you, because we are not meant to be alone. We are social creatures, we find happiness in the company of other people.

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So do not go deep into this idea that happiness lies being alone. Do not give into this idea that happiness lies in doing what you want, when you want no happiness lies, number one in the pleasure of Allah in the remembrance of Allah. But within that one of the means that Allah created for happiness, the family, find happiness in the company of your children, your spouse, your parents, your siblings, your extended family, because this is what Allah created family for.

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Right look for one point to think about. For anyone who's still not convinced that there is more happiness in family compared to being although we're Allah subhanho wa taala, treated either by the salam He created him alone the agenda.

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He created him alone, the Jamdani Being alone is what gave us happiness, you would never ever have created Eve.

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Because something was missing.

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That subpoena you get from the company of the opposite gender was messy. Allah created Eve to be the companion of Adam, because we are lonely, and we are not completely out navigate without family.

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Think about it. Why did Allah create if he was in China, if you made it any place where you can be happy being alone, it's Jana. But guess what, no one's going to be Jetta alone, even after he passed away, no one's going to be in China, although everyone's going to have family in China. Why? Because that is where joy comes from, from our relationships with other people. And we are slowly becoming a generation that don't even know how to have a relationship with another human being. The only relationships that with our phones and our video games and our televisions, and we don't know how to interact with real people. And this is becoming a real problem for the new generation. We ask Allah

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to allow us to look at the Quran to understand the property and to be people to follow his message and ask Allah to make all of the managers of our community managers of love and compassion and to allow the next generation to experience this as well through humbly.

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Salam, O Allah, Allah Allah.

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Allah will hate you, honey, honey, Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was shot on wanting to have a good day.

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Getting fit now.

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For our younger generation,

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those who are being taught these ideas that marriage is going to cause problems and marriage is going to hold you back. And now you just want to get in the way of your dreams. For that generation.

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I highly recommend that you spend time around people who have happy marriages.

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Spend time in the company of people who have happy marriages, to see the level of joy and peace and fulfillment brings to people's lives. Because perhaps, the perhaps it may be the case that a young person has never seen a model that we will now teach. And that's why they have a negative perception of marriage. Perhaps they just haven't seen a model of a good marriage. Right. But I truly believe anyone who has seen loving and happy couples around them who look forward to getting married one day.

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So there's something wrong in what's going on with this younger generation that people feel that happiness isn't being alone, and that family will get in the way of your happiness. This is a very early Slavic idea, a very unnatural idea is a very dangerous idea.

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And one last message for the parents and for the older generation. Make marriage easy for the younger generation. Make marriage easy. Because we live in a day and age we see not is as easy as pressing a button on your phone.

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So the idea is that easy. It's that accessible. So if you are telling your kid you can't get married to your 25 or 30

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but there is a Hadith about this. In other words, Ofra Mohammed is a Hadith where the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, Allah knows best the level of authenticity of the homies bodies the way that he said that if a young man reaches the age of puberty, and wants to get married, and his parents blocked him from doing so in any way, and he falls in

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To see now, his parents will also get the son of

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his parents will share instead of Zillow and the same applies to your daughter. They say, the Prophet sallallahu sallam said that if a man of character and piety proposes to your daughter, and you reject it expected, expected now expect problems make Nygaard easy, make it simple. If you have a young single family who wants to get married, they can do nicop happiness in the garden. Now you can move together two or three or four or five years later when you're ready. But at least they have a solid relationship that you can build together. Nikka doesn't have to be, you know, something that happens at the end of your life journey. This is a very foreign concept to Islam. Right, this idea

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that you go to school that you go to university that you stopped loved, and you buy a house and you buy a car, that you enjoy life, and then later on you settle down. This is not Islamic. This is an anti Islamic idea. In Islam, the guy is the beginning of the life journey. It's not the end game. You're not settling down, you starting up. So Muslims should get married young, they should perform the God as young as possible, to protect themselves from the fitna that is out there to have a healthy life. Because Nikka gives you access to certain health benefits that you cannot get outside of econ in terms of actual things you can do things that are natural and healthy and important. So

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my message to parents make Nygaard easy, do not be an obstacle in the way of your children getting married. Once they reach the age, we didn't need to get mapping. Rather facilitate the confidence and allow them to be able to live a natural life and be grateful that you have a youngster once you get married. Because nowadays, there's so much written out there that most people are many, many people

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have no interest in marriage, they'd much rather just to have.

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So if you want to preserve the next generation, we want the next generation to be honorable, we want them to be dignified. We want them to have their own families and to have loving relationships and their own children. Then we need to make the Guardians we need to facilitate it we need to you know it's as simple as a contract. It's as simple as a contract that's that's what it is a contract to make a relationship along the details that you pick out job life together. You know, as the years go by, the relationship will change it will grow but at least give them that option of a collaborative relationship.

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ask Allah to allow us to practice what has been preached and you ask Allah to allow us to experience the benefits of the morality protect us from the Haram and to guide us to the best of options Ramadan, Athena, between your husband and wife

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Robin I have learned as well Gina was

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definitely Rama to hang around with Robert easy to manage for

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the billable hour without any documents.