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Gender wars, masculinity and izzah

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Ismail Kamdar

Channel: Ismail Kamdar

Episode Notes

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Episode Transcript

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Salam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatu. So in this video, I just want to share an update on some of my research that I've been doing over the past six months and how this research led to the formation of Israel Academy. Right, for those of you who don't know, is our academy is my new project that I just launched, like just just just launch, it's brand new, there's not much on it yet. It's a online platform dedicated to reviving happy Muslim marriages, by teaching men how to be good husbands and fathers and teaching women how to be good wives and mothers, and teaching, parenting and marriage skills.

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Know it's not going to be easy. People get very offended by this topic, especially we don't tell them what they want to hear, and you tell them what they need to hear. But it's important to mention, but why I started it, I did discuss this in the other video, but just a little bit of the story behind it right. So earlier this year, I decided that perhaps I should write a book on the topic of masculinity. And the reason why I chose this specific topic

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was that I noticed a crisis amongst the youth in my community. A lot of young men not getting married, and of young woman and not getting married. And the The reasons are very different, right? That the woman are complaining that they can't find a good guy. And the guys aren't complaining that they can't find a good girl are just not interested. They're just playing video games, they're just not growing up. This is the thing that's scaring you that I personally, weeding. So many young boys were not growing up, they were just staying boys well into the 20s. Some of them even in the 30s. And this became very worrying for me. So I began researching this topic. And I noticed in the USA,

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specifically, that there's this tension, right, there's this gender tension in that community, between, on one hand, the feminist, and on the other hand, the Red Books, and for those who don't know, red pill is like a reaction movement to feminism, which has some good in it and some extremism as well. And what's what was going on now is that it's creating hatred for the opposite gender. Now in Islam, men and women are supposed to be each other's allies, right? That men and women are different. But the husband and wife work together as a team, mother and father are a team, right? The men and women on my team. And what we've seen with these divisions is that is pure hatred. This

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woman says All men are trash. Is mincing a woman a feminist? And is people using dirty language against each other extremely anti Islamic behavior. And I'm wondering, how are these people ever gonna get married, if they hate everybody of the opposite gender, so a bit of a disaster over there. And then I started talking to some of my friends living in the US and the stories they told me really worried me and frightened me. Like I thought we had some problems here in South Africa. It's nothing compared to the problems they were telling me about the USA. So I realized this is a serious issue that people do not know how to make a marriage work of this generation. For some reason. I

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know what we did wrong. But for some reason, we have a generation of kids in the 20s, many of whom have no idea how to make a marriage work. I'm talking about young ladies who don't know how to make a husband happy young men don't know how to make a wife happy. When you don't know the role of a father, woman, you don't know the role of a mother and people who are oversensitive. So if you tell them anything, they get very angry, and they assume you're attacking the agenda. And they, they assume the worst of you. So I just I need to find a way to solve the issue. It's not my issue, because 100 love, you know, I come from, from a good family where marriage is not strong, and gender

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roles are still strong. And most of the marriages and my family are very happy and very traditional.

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And so I grew up in that environment. So it's not a problem. I have the problem I noticed in communities that needs to be solved. And so I thought I'd write a book about it. But then I realized the books not going to solve the problem. You see the books not gonna reach everybody, not everybody reads books. Furthermore, a book will just cover maybe some issues relating to the man or what about the woman you need teachers who have woman who have successful marriages to teach young woman how to have a successful marriage? Right? So I decided why don't have a platform where men can talk about the male perspective woman can talk about the female perspective. Keep it all authentic, keep it all

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as per Quran and Sunnah of anyone out use them to present their proof from Quran and Sunnah. Keep it civil, keep it real, right and just teach people

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what they need to know, to make marriages work because marriage is a very important part of our religion. Even the name of the academy is Academy comes from one of the goals of Islamic law, which is the preservation of Israel the preservation of honor and dignity. One of the many ways of preserving on and dignity

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It is through the Institute of marriage, that when people get married, that they managed to make their marriages to work and to grow into something beautiful and loving and fruitful, and they produce amazing children. Each and every step along the way, leads to an increase in their visa in their honor and dignity in the community, they become known more and more as normal people in the community. This does not mean that somebody who is not married cannot have isn't of their other parts. Who is that as well. But this is an important part of our Isa, right? If a man is abusive to his wife, then he has no reason. Right? Likewise, if there is adultery, there is no reason. If there

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is hatred for the opposite gender, there is no answer. Right? Dignity comes from making a marriage work. And that means that we need to be honest about things that have become, for some reason controversial with the younger generation, things which I grew up hearing as facts, things which, you know, my mom would talk openly with me about it, my grandfather would talk openly, openly to me about as we my mentors, those things that we learned growing up, about how to make marriages work, and how to deal with the opposite gender, how to keep a man happy how to keep a woman happy. For some reason, we don't talk about these things with the younger Gen lead generation, because people

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are easily offended. People take it personally. People don't want to hear advice different from what they already thinking. And it's creating a lot of tension. So we hope that we can solve this. So initially, I saw probably my community started researching it. So a bigger problem, the USA started researching it, started writing a book, realize the books not going to solve it, start writing another book, realize that's not going to solve it. So I settled on the idea. Let's start the Online Academy where we can teach these topics, books, courses, videos, blog posts, whatever we can do, we're going to put out initially it's going to be a few blog posts and videos. But we definitely

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plan to launch a few courses soon to get the ball rolling. Because this is something that is a need of our time. So what do you think you think I'm writing or What topic do you think? It's not really an issue? How do you think we should approach it because it's very sensitive issue. People are overly sensitive about this topic.

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Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Let's have a discussion and let's work let's work this out together. Remember this entire concept is brand new, just something I thought of I just bought the domain name launch the website. I want us to work it out together, figure it out together and build something that will benefit the OMA. So let me know in the comment section what you think JazakAllah Hydra Salaam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh