Code of Conduct #7 Compassion

Ismail Kamdar

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Channel: Ismail Kamdar

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Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Nabil Karim. So in today's session we are going to look at the importance of Rama of compassion in Dawa

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and this is a very crucial and important topic related to the Dawa. It

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is mentioned specifically in the same verse that we discussed in the video before this. All ILA civilian Rebecca, Bill hikma De Waal movie that you have called to the way of your LORD with Wisdom, and compassionate preaching, gentle preaching.

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So, wisdom and gentleness are listed in this verse as the two conditions for Dawa.

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In our previous video, we discuss what is wisdom? And more importantly, what is unwise in the Dawa?

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In this video, we want to look at what is compassion? And how do you become compassionate? And how should that compassion manifest in your Dawa. So, compassion.

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Rama, also known as mercy is its condition of the heart it is part of a clock of character. It is the condition of the heart where you genuinely care about others. That is what Rama or compassion is that you genuinely care about other people and you want what is best for them. And your Dawa comes from a place of wanting what is best for others, that you love for others, what you love for yourself. This is the essence of Rama, that you love for others what you love for yourself. For some people, their Dawa comes from a place of arrogance of feeling superior to others, that I am better than you. So I'm calling you to a better way. Now the way is better, yes. But you shouldn't be

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thinking of yourself as better than others that is arrogance. And for some people, the Dawa comes from a place of spite and bitterness that I don't like you so I'm going to preach to you.

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But for the believer, the Dawa should come from a place of genuinely wanting what is best for others. We look at Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,

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he genuinely cared about his people, and wanted them to embrace the message so that they could avoid the hellfire and enter into paradise. And this genuine care for others. You can see it in interactions with almost everyone. That is a genuine desire to see this person saved this old from the hellfire. That is where the Dawa needs to come from a genuine sense of compassion and care for others. And this shows itself in how we speak in how we interact with people in how we treat them.

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All of this is a reflection of whether we are truly compassionate or not.

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Now our times there has been a group of Muslims who have tried to demonize this concept of compassion. They have turned it into a slur recalling Imams compassionate Imams and trying to put them down.

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Right and the way that they

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justify this in their minds, is they say, Oh, we're not demonizing compassion. We are

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calling out the extreme compassion of these Imams.

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Whatever you think you're doing when you're using this term, it's still inappropriate.

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Because the word compassion which is the English translation of Rama

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is a Islamic concept.

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It is

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even in the name of Allah or Rahmani, r Rahim.

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Reflections of his compassion, His mercy. Even in the description of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa servant he was a Ramadan, Lil al Amin, a mercy to the universe.

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And when you demonize this concept, you are also creating an environment where the opposite of compassion can thrive. What is the opposite of compassion? It is hate, it is malice. It is wanting it for others. It's not being able to see the humanity in others and treat them well. This is the opposite of compassion. This is what we're seeing is now rising amongst those specifically people who like to use this term compassionate imam in a derogatory sense

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Unfortunately, their hearts have become

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deprived of any compassion towards the Brothers and Sisters in Islam. And they start to talk in the most vulgar of ways of other Muslims. And they have completely lost the sense of brotherhood because they view compassion as a weakness, they view compassion as a bad thing.

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Now, this is very problematic. As Muslims, we should never try to demonize a term that is fundamental to our religion. You may think you're being clever by making this the slur against your opponents.

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But rarely, you are changing the religion.

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You are changing the religion by making compassion out to be a bad thing, and hostility out to be a good thing. This is changing some fundamentals of Islamic o'clock.

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Now, they would answer that

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some Imams have gone to extremes in compassion. And they're trying to rein that in.

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And my response would be, even if someone's gone to extremes in anything, that doesn't give you the right to demonize the word itself.

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And yes, there is some truth to this, there is some truth to the fact that in the past 20 years, some Imams did become

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over flowery in how they explain and teach Islam.

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But that is, that does not justify taking an Islamic word like compassion, and turning it into a slur against the Imams.

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Rather, we should call people towards Islamic compassion, the correct way to correct them would be to say that

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the default of a Muslim should be compassion. But there are times where we need to be fun. So we need to just rein it in a little bit. When you provide correction, you don't need to be demonizing the whole concept, because a few people took it to an extreme. So if you want someone who is accustomed to using this term to demonize people just think about this right? Take some time to think about what I just said, because this is creating a very unhealthy environment in the Dawa. We're now anyone who is compassionate is seen as weak or deviant or a sellout. And people who are hostile and vulgar are seen as the real to art, which is really the complete opposite of how

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Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam was.

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So we have a group today who do Dawa without any compassion there, Dawa is simply to score points to put people down to make themselves feel superior, superior to others. And they are harsh. They are vulgar. They use the worst of names, they mock people, they slander people, and they literally look at compassion as some kind of weakness. And the hearts have no compassion, so you can't even reason with them or talk to them. Because their hearts have become hard. Yet they think they're doing good. They think they're what they're doing is that our no it is not Dawa, to be hard hearted and vulgar towards your fellow Muslims. That is not our that is not the way of the Gambia or the great dua to

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to although history.

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On the other extreme, we have some people who need to rein in their compassion a little bit. Right?

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And what I mean by this is, look, when you're doing Dawa,

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you have to be honest about what Islam teaches.

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And some people

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are dishonest because they don't want to hurt people's feelings.

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Right? So sometimes you see this in how they talk to non Muslims. Like, for example, if certain criminal laws of Islam are brought up, they say, oh, but you know, that's not really part of Islam. It's not that big a deal. It's not something we do anymore. And they take a very overt apologetic approach, thinking that this is compassion. This is not compassion. Compassion is not changing the religion or hiding the facts about the religion. Compassion is just in your treatment of people. It shouldn't affect the message itself. We also see this today

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in specifically issues related to the responsibilities of Muslim woman. Right. So 20 years ago, we had the opposite extreme, where Muslim women were complaining that lectures are only about the rights of the husband and the responsibilities of the wives. And so some Imams flip the script and it became all about the rights of the wives and the responsibilities of the husband.

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And some of these imams are scared to speak about the responsibilities of woman because they don't want to lose their female audience. That if they had to

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Be honest about what Islam teaches in terms of a wives responsibilities towards a husband or, or, or a children, they may lose their fans who have a feminist leaning.

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And this is problematic because you are now changing the religion, you are now distorting the religion and you are creating unrealistic expectations in the younger generation of Muslim woman.

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And the balanced approach there will be to talk about both the rights of men and the Rights of Woman The responsibilities of men and the responsibilities of woman. And to be honest and just about what Islam says on these topics is nothing wrong with what Islam teaches on these topics, it is the most practical system, the most natural system that works is some people are afraid to talk about it. Some people are afraid to talk about the obligation of hijab for the same reason, right to tell a Muslim woman to dress appropriately Some men are afraid to talk about this, because they they bought into this western idea that only woman should correct woman. Now that's not an Islamic concept.

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Right? The Quran says and Surah Tauba was God Allah says that the believing men and believing woman are only of each other, they command what is good, and they forbid what is evil, meaning wisdom men and woman as opposed to help each other to be righteous. By commanding what is good and forbidding what is evil? Is it part of compassion

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that you don't want your Muslim brother or sister

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to be committing haram unknowingly.

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So you remind them about the commands of Allah. Because there are some Muslim woman who don't even know that it's obligatory for them to cover their hair. Because no one talks about these things because they're afraid of hurting people's feelings. So they end up with the wrong understanding of the religion. So this is taking compassion to an extreme. I agree with that this is incorrect application of compassion.

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It doesn't give you the right to demonize the word, it doesn't give you the right to turn the term into a slob, and to just label anyone you dislike with it. No.

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Rosmah compassion is an integral part of our religion. It's an integral part of the Dawa, and it should be an integral part of the personality of an imam. Every Imam shouldn't be a compassionate Imam. They should care about their congregation, they should care about people, they should be preaching on place of genuine love and care for people. That is part of our religion. Just because some people have taken it to an extreme doesn't give you the right to demonize the whole idea. So we need to stop using these words in a derogatory sense, because in doing so, we are

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changing a fundamental about religion. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that when Allah when compassion is added to something, it becomes beautiful. And when harshness is added to something, it becomes ugly. Think about this right? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, when compassion when gentleness when mercy is put into something, it becomes beautiful.

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And when harshness is put into something, it becomes ugly.

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And as Muslims, we have to understand that our default setting should be a rock. If we should only be harsh when necessary, is not to say we should never be harsh, but we should only be harsh when it's necessary, and the times when it is necessary, but understand that if you are harsh all the time, your o'clock, your character becomes ugly. And that reflects in your face and that reflects in your personality and that reflects in your actions. But when your heart is full of compassion, then people can see the beauty of your soul and it reflects in your action it reflects in your world. It reflects in your words it reflects in your effects on other people.

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The prophets of the Lord while He was in them also said

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a Rama Radha Ravi Munna are humble. Allah Munna are humble man, Yamaha Rama, Rama, Rama, Rama, that those who have compassion or Rockman will show them compassion. Avraham Oman fill out your humble command visa. So be compassionate to the creatures of this earth, and the one with above the heavens will be compassionate to you.

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Now, what's interesting about this hadith is that it is the tradition of many schools of thought, and many madrasahs around the world, to begin the Islamic Studies training program with this hadith, that the first thing you learn in your journey to become a scholar of Islam is be compassionate to the creatures of the earth. Allah will be compassionate to you.

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And so from day one, we are taught that our Dawa must be grounded in compassion and that this is

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Divine necessity for the dark ie that Allah demands that we be compassionate, and that there is a special reward with this, the Rahman will be compassionate to you.

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And many of the scholars have explained the Hadith doesn't even say, be compassionate to the Muslims, it says can be compassionate to everything on earth,

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not even the human beings. The compassion of a real Muslim extends to all creatures, the birds, the cats, the plants, this should be a genuine care for the creation of Allah that emanates from the heart of the believers. And this should guide our Dawa and this itself will be dour. If you have a compassionate heart, your heart itself will be Dawa to other people, that people will be attracted to being around someone who genuinely cares about humanity.

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And there are so many verses of the Quran and Hadith about compassion.

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Allah Subhana Allah says in surah, Allah Imran about the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that it is by the grace of Allah that you are compassionate to them. Had you been harsh and hard hearted, they would have run away from you.

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So the scholars comment on this verse And they say

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that Allah is saying that it is true His mercy that the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam was merciful and compassionate. But he also said that if the prophets was a mother, a harsh Prophet, if he was a hard hearted prophet, he was a strict and scary and, and, you know, harsh individual, then the Sahaba would have run away from him.

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And what this means is that

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if the best of generations would have run away from Islam, because of the harshness of the color, the word about us today, that if we are overtly harsh, all the time, you will not think that we are chasing people away.

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And I see this, I see this happening a lot online, that some zealots, young brothers who are full of, you know, enthusiasm for the Dawa, they go online, and they are extremely harsh to people. And then the harshness of that just chase people away. And they feel that they are being firm on the religion, and that they are, you know, taking a stance for the truth. But in reality, the choice of words, the valgus, the harshness, the bullying tactics, it's chasing people away from the religion, you can be firm on the principles of Islam, while still being nice to people. I don't know why it's so hard for people to understand this. You can be firm on the principles of Islam, and the message

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of Islam, while still being nice to people. Why can't we just learn to do this?

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Learn to do Dawa from a place of compassion, from a place of whose nose gun of assuming the best of others.

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An example of how people go wrong with this today.

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Sometimes, a young sister would go online, and she may make some statements about Islam that are incorrect.

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And immediately some young men in the harshness and the zeal they will pounce on her and call her a feminist and call her a deviant and call her a Garfield. And just completely chase her away from the religion.

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While in reality, firstly, that's not the Islamic approach to Dawa, even if she's completely wrong in what you're saying.

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She could have just been raised with a wrong understanding of Islam. It could be the nobody thought any better. That that's what she learned from her teachers. How is it her fault? You should call correct her with wisdom, you should correct her with gentleness. You should let you know to understand

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that this is what you have learned. But this is incorrect because of this hadith and this verse of the Quran and this teaching of Islam. Correct? The person with compassion. I'm not saying to tell somebody they are right. Saying just to have a bit of manners and empathy in how you talk to people.

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That goes a long way instead of just labeling people and chasing them away. And bullying them actually have a genuine conversation with them.

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And this is a problem. This is a major problem in the online Dawa seen many young men to feel all manly and to feel like they are it and like they are special. Do you have this macho personality of just being harsh to people and bullying people? And this does not help the Dawa in any way.

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And again, I'm not calling for the opposite. I'm not calling for telling people you're right. I'm not calling for hiding the message. No, I'm simply saying you can stand for the truth.

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and still be nice about it.

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And even when you're being firm, you don't have to bully people or call people names and chased him out of the religion. No, you can be firm and still be a magnet towards the religion in how you talk to people. This requires wisdom and this requires empathy. It requires Rama.

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In the Quran, Allah Allah subhana wa Taala speaks about the story of Musa alayhis salam.

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And when he gives the message to Musa alayhis salam to go and do Dawa, to the Pharaoh.

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He tells him what the whole goal was to speak to him gently. So perhaps he may reflect and fear Allah. May he may perhaps he may reflect a fear of law.

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Scholars again, comment on his verse and say that, if Musa one of the best of humanity

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was told to Speak gently to the Pharaoh, who was the worst of humanity, when doing the hour to him, then the default in how we do the hour to people who are not on the same level as the Pharaoh,

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is it should begin from a place of gentleness.

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So what about our Muslim brothers and sisters? How much more gentle are we supposed to be with them, when calling them towards the correct understanding of Islam, if they have misunderstandings,

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and this is a story related to this, that one of the great kings of the abovesaid empire, he said something or did something wrong. So one of the scholars corrected him very harshly.

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So he mentioned this verse, and he told the scholar

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that I am not worse than the Pharaoh and you are not better than Moses. So if Moses was told to Speak gently to the vowel, you also have to speak gently to me.

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And this is a lesson for all of us. The person you're speaking to who may have misunderstandings about the religion, who may have been misinformed about the religion, they are not necessarily bad people.

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They need education, not bullying.

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And this is where the compassion comes in that you need to do Dawa. You need to call to the way of Allah with wisdom and gentle preaching.

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You call to the proper firm message of Islam in a wise manner, in a gentle manner. That is a fundamental of doing Dawa.

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Compassion. Besides caring for others, it also means understanding people's weaknesses, understanding people's personal struggles. Understanding that everyone is different in terms of what they what they struggle with, whether it's intellectually or in terms of their desires, and being able to connect with people

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and not expect perfection from people.

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So you may be doing Dawa to one person and that person may be addicted to a sale.

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It's not your place to judge them for their addictions is your place to guide them to a better way. And if it's not possible for them to give up the addiction, then to at least teach them the part of so far of seeking Allah's forgiveness.

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The DA II should always be focused on giving people away back to Allah.

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Right, I'm gonna repeat that point.

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Anyone who is calling to Islam, whether you are speaking to Muslims or non Muslims, you should always be giving people a way back to Allah. You should not be speaking in a way that you are telling people that this is it over, you're going to help.

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Right you should not be making people lose hope in the Mercy of Allah, you should be showing them the way back. If they have fallen into misunderstandings, show them the correct understanding. If they have fallen into sin, explain to them why the sin is wrong and guide them to the part of October the part of repentance. If they have a wrong understanding of who God is, show them the correct understanding of who the creator is. For all of this has to come from a place of Rama, it should never be that you cancel people in a way that there is no way for them to come back to the straight part. This is problematic. And this is an Islamic, and this is not the way of Rasulullah

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sallallahu alayhi wasallam look at how we did our look at some of the great Sahaba Khalid even Walid and Ahmed even us are two great examples of this, that these two Sahaba were for many years, leaders of the enemies of Islam. It was Amer who went

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to the court of Najafi to try and to get the Muslims in back to Makkah. It was called even when he did lead the army that killed many Muslims that

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yet Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam continued to preach towards them with compassion, and so did the sahaba. They continued to call both of them towards Islam and to show them that the doors of Allah's mercy and forgiveness are always open.

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And right towards the end. hollyburn Walid received a letter from his brother, in which his brother who was already a Muslim tells him that the prophet is asking about you and saying, How can an intelligent man like Khalid not recognize the truth of Islam yet? Again, look at the Rama of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Khalid even believes army, were responsible for killing some of his most beloved Sahaba. Yet he still recognizes the intelligence of Khalid and calls him towards Islam.

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And so when Khalid Ahmed eventually go together to Medina to accept Islam, our makes the condition he says, Oh Rasulullah I'll accept Islam on condition that Allah forgives me forever I've done in the past. And the Prophet salallahu alayhi salam says that when you accept Islam, automatically, whatever you've done in the past is forgiven. But still, he insisted on the condition because he knew just what he had actually done before Islam, in terms of the harm he had brought upon the Muslims. But again, look at the compassion of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, look at his compassion at the conquest of Makkah, where he could have justifiably taken revenge on the people of

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Makkah. Yet, very few people were executed that day, just a handful of criminals received the death penalty that day.

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As for the rest of Makkah, he forgave them, and they eventually accepted Islam.

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And in terms of the time and place in which he lived in the cultural norms of the place in which he lived, he would have been completely justified if he took some level of revenge on them.

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But he allowed his Rama to be the dominant factor in his Dawa.

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And this is what everyone involved in our needs to do. Our Rama needs to be the dominant factor in our Tao.

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So my final point for today is how do you gain a Rama?

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Some of you may say that, you know, I have a hard heart. I'm not someone who cares about other people too much. How do I gain that care for others? How do I gain Rama? How do I

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become a merciful person? A compassionate person?

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Well, there are many things. Number one, it begins with the heart. Focus on the purification of the soul, focus on reforming your heart. Focus on learning to love for others what you love for yourself. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, None of you truly believes until he loves for others, what he loves for himself. This is the foundation of Rama. compassion and care for others begins with loving for others what you love for yourself. You love Islam, spread the word of Islam, you love to worship Allah spread towards others, this this enthusiasm to worship Allah.

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You need to love for others what you love for yourself. And this genuine love for others.

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You build it by being part of society, by spending time with people, understanding them by sympathizing with them learning about their struggles learning about the adults learning about the weaknesses, humanizing them, getting to see the human being on the other side. So you can understand where they are coming from, what experiences shaped the current beliefs and ideas.

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So you can understand who they are, and you can reach across and call them to a better way.

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You should seek to understand others before preaching to them

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or else your message flies past them, that they may be in a specific situation, because of their life experiences. But you are talking past that because you never took time to know the person.

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For example.

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You nowadays we assume if we see somebody that atheists Some people assume that the atheists because of science, or you know, they believe that science is what we use for justifying what is true and what is not. And you may go into a hole no Dawa

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core call about how Islam is compatible with science. It's a different topic for a different time. But it may be that that person is an atheist because of some

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traumatic life experiences that they couldn't explain.

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And I found this to be the case most of the time, the people who lose faith in God, it's not because of anything to do with science, most of the time, it's to do with traumatic experiences that they can't explain. They lost a loved one. They lost their job, they were homeless, you know, something happened to them traumatizing, they lived through a war that caused them to lose faith in God. Now, if you understand the life experiences that led to their belief, you are in a better position to do Dawa to them. Because now you know what to focus on.

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Get focused on the Islamic concept of God, the Islamic concept of life being a test, they may not have even heard of this concept of life being a test. And this can help them to make sense of what has happened, and see a path back to worshiping Allah

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and understanding why the world is the way it is.

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But if you don't take the time to know people, and to understand people, and to understand how they got to where they are, then you are going to be speaking past them, instead of speaking to them.

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So number one, work on your heart, work on purifying your soul of hostility and bitterness, and all negative feelings. Number two, get to know people seek to understand people to do are in a better position to do the hour to them.

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In third method of improving the compassion in your heart, is to do acts of kindness sadaqa sadaqa, which we often translate as charity, actually is any good deed any act of kindness, Coloma roofing, sadaqa, anything good you do for somebody else in the act of kindness, it's all about it's a charity. And the prophets also has told us that every day, we should be involved in some kind of act of charity. And once a companion came to the prophets all along, so my complaint about this very thing he said, Oh rasool Allah, my heart is becoming hard. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam advised him to spend time with orphans, why would orphans because nothing softens a human

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beings heart faster than spending time around children who don't even have parents who have been deprived of the most basic of the basics.

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Nothing gets off on your heart faster, they've been around offense.

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Spend time doing acts of kindness, volunteer, get involved in humanitarian work, go and help out the poor physically known don't just do anonymous donations online, physically get involved in helping other people. When you do this, then you will develop a more compassionate heart.

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So these are three steps to reconfiguring your heart to be compassionate. Number one, is to love for others what you love for yourself. Number two is to get to know people and to understand them, so you can relate to them and talk to them on their level. Number three is to do acts of kindness, because nothing softens the heart faster than doing acts of kindness.

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And if we do all of this, then inshallah we will develop hearts that are full of Rama. And this Rama will manifest itself in how we behave, our body language, our facial expressions and how we talk. And when you do Dawa from a position of Rama, and you add wisdom to that, then your data becomes fairly powerful. Now it can reach hearts, and it can change the hearts of people. Because you no longer an arrogant preacher who's just talking to score points or talking to boost his own ego. You are now someone who genuinely cares about the other person and wants them to go to paradise. And so you will preach to them

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in a way that they understand, so they can come back to the straight part. And I want to end with a reminder that why Rama is the default. It's also important and part of wisdom to know when to be harsh and when to be fun.

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So Rama, compassion should be our default. That's how we normally interact with everyone. But there are times where you have to be fun. There are times where you have to take a stand. There may be times when you have to talk to someone harshly. But this should never be the norm. This should not be your default setting. Your default setting is that you are a kind hearted person who cares about others, but at the same time, people can't bully you. They can't take advantage of you because they know that if you need to be four, you will be four. If you need to be harsh, you will be harsh

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And so, when dealing with the enemies of Islam, who are actively trying to

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harm the Muslims, that's a time to be firm and harsh. If you are in a war, you have to be firm and harsh towards your enemies. If you're dealing with people who don't understand kindness, you get some people out there with whom kindness just doesn't work.

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They just don't understand kindness, their their hearts are too hard. You may have to be firmer when talking to people like that. But this is where the wisdom comes in. So our Dawa must be done with wisdom and gentle preaching. And part of wisdom is to know when not to be gentle, but the default should be Rama. Default should be compassion and gentleness. And if we make this our default, then we will do our Dawa in a way that is sunnah in a way that is pleasing to Allah in a way that has baraka and a way that is most effective. Walker Darwaza Anil Hamdulillah he robbed me