Giving Advise

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Isam Rajab

Channel: Isam Rajab

Episode Notes

The Perfect Character

Episode Transcript

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Lee

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de la sala salatu salam ala rasulillah salam.

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Salam aleikum, wa rahmatullah wa barakato. All praise is due to Allah alone. And when his peace and blessings be upon the final and last prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, welcome to your show, the perfect character. Today's talk will be about an important aspect of speech, that is essential part also of the religion, which is counseling, giving advice. The Prophet sallallahu wasallam said, sincerity is the true religion, the true religion if you want it to summarize the entire religion, it's summarized in one word, that is one of the concise narrations and broad

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meanings that the Prophet sallallahu wasallam was given from Allah subhanaw taala, that he would say a few words, but they give a lot of meanings. When the prophet SAW Selim said, a dino and naziha sincerity is the true religion, to advice to give the piece of advice to people, that is religion, which means that you care about others when the Prophet sallallahu wasallam said that the companions did not say yeah, we know that or they kept going, they asked him, to whom our sincerity of giving, piece of advice should be to whom and the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said to Allah, to His Messenger, to the book of Allah, to the leaders of the Muslims, and to the generality to all Muslims, five

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times that will receive the advice. So this advice, this counseling is essential part of the religion, the entire religion was summarized in that simple, but general term advice, sincerity. So, in our time, sometimes people say I don't want to give a piece of advice. I know that this person is making a mistake, he is doing something wrong, but I don't want to advise him. Why? Because he will not listen to me. We hear that a lot. This should not be of the characters of the Muslim. The characteristics of the Muslim should include giving the advice regardless of whether the person will respond or no, imagine if we will look at the results, the outcome, nobody would give advice. The

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Prophet sallallahu Sallam was not asked for the response of the people. In alayka lol Belov, your job is only to convey the message response from people that is between them and Allah subhanaw taala. It is not your responsibility. So there is a golden rule, you need to remember it all the time here. Never counsel never give a piece of advice on the condition that your advice will be accepted. That's what's been hasm Rahim Allah says, because if you give the advice only when you want people to listen to you, and to do what you are telling them, then that's not advice. That is a command. That becomes a command. And the higher is the one who could command the lower the equal,

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when he tells another person, an equal person, that's a report that is not a command, we have a command from a higher to a lower, and we have a drop from a lower to a higher, and then we have from an equal to an equal. So when you are giving the piece of advice, why you look at the response, that's not your responsibility. Your obligation is only to advice to counsel to give the piece of advice. That's it, the response is between them and the last panel, so never counsel on the condition that your advice will be accepted Subhanallah even the companions of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam they would come to the Prophet sallallahu wasallam and they would ask him, they

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would tell him tell us what to do and we will do it they are willing to do yet the prophet SAW Selim would not tell them you should. You have no he tells them if you want. If you wish.

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Omar Abdullah Juan came to the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam asking him, what should I do with this piece of land, this land that I gained? I earned a piece of land that is the dearest to me. And I want to give it in the cause of Allah subhanaw taala What do you advise me on messenger of Allah? So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam told him, If you wish, you could withhold the asset, you could withhold the land, and donate the fruit. And that's exactly what Amara Allah Han did, again, the Prophet sallahu wa sallam did not tell him, you should do this, I am the messenger of Allah, you're coming to me, you're asking me. So this is what you have to do No,

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never give a piece of advice on the condition that it has to be answered.

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It has to be accepted. No. On the other hand, also never intercede on behalf of someone with the condition that your intercession will be granted. We have some people coming to you asking you, you know that person, I have something that he has, I have something that I want him to do for me, I have something that he could help me with. You know him, so if you talk to him, he might do it for me. Would you please talk to him? Don't say no, I will not do it because I know if I talk to him, maybe he will not respond to me. I only intercede when my intercession is granted. No, that was not the character of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam alized messenger sallallahu wasallam himself,

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interceded, and his intercession was not accepted, it was not granted. And he was the Messenger of Allah sallallahu sallam. So who do you think you are? If you think that every time you say something, it has to be accepted? How many commandments of Allah subhanaw taala do we have in the Quran? How many narrations of the prophet SAW Selim about things that he told the companions to do? Did they do everything? And these came from Allah and from the messenger of Salaam Salaam. So why do you expect people to do or to listen to every single thing that you're saying? So don't give the Council on the condition that it has to be accepted, don't intercede on the condition that your

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intercession will be granted? One time the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. So the husband of barrier barrier was the free slave woman of action of the Ilana Ayesha paid the wage of barrier to her masters. So they freed her, and she was married to movies. And when a slave woman is freed, she is given the child the choice, she's given the option. She could continue with the marriage or she has the option of separation from her husband. So she chose the separation. She is now a free woman. He is still a slave man. So when that happened, maleev

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started crying because he loved her so much he would follow her in the roads of Medina. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam sympathized with Maurice, and he told his uncle Allah best or the lavon Don't you see how much Maurice loves berry era? And how much berry era hates? moreif? So he came to barrier, trying to intercede for me with and he told her, why don't you have him back? Why don't you take him back? She said, O Messenger of Allah. Are you commending me is that a command? prophet SAW Selim said no, it's only intercession. I am interceding on behalf of my wife. She said, I have no need of him. I don't want him Subhan Allah. And the prophet SAW Selim did not tell her Are you

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rejecting my intercession? I am the messenger of Allah. No, he did not say that. Because you expect sometimes that your intercession will not be accepted. Just the mere intercession will give you the reward as the Prophet sallallahu wasallam said each foul to general when you intercede, you will get the reward regardless whether your intercession was accepted or no. So the focus should be on the intercession not on whether it's granted or not. Also, you need to remember that you don't give a gift on the condition that you are going to be rewarded.

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One time there is an occasion and people are giving gifts to that person. It's his occasion. You did not bring a gift. Why? Because last time, I gave him a gift and he did not give me back any gift when it was my occasion. SubhanAllah that means it is not a gift. That means it is a transaction. It's sale. Exchange, you gave something and you are expecting something else. No. Maybe

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He doesn't have enough money, maybe he cannot afford what you could afford. So don't treat people exactly how they treat you, you should always look for the best manners. If you give a gift, don't wait for the reward, then it doesn't become a gift, it becomes a transaction that comes transaction. So back to the counseling, to advising the Muslims, which is part of the religion. When you want to advise someone, do not advise him openly in front of everybody. But you need to do that in confidentiality. Because if you advise someone in front of everyone, it doesn't become an advice anymore. It becomes a scandal. You are announcing his errors, his mistakes in front of everybody and

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people don't like that. People don't like that. You want advice, advice in seclusion, alone, and you need to have the good time, the good way of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when he used to smile, he would advise the companions but he would not be harsh, he would not be raising his voice because that will make people turn away and reject the advice that you are giving to them. So the way of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam is to give the advice in a nice way with a smile. Even the command from Allah subhanaw taala to Musa alayhis salaam when they were sent to Pharaoh to say soft speech for Allah Allahu kolon Lina

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hola Lena, Pharaoh, the one who claimed that he is the Supreme Lord Subhana Allah what is greater than this sin, but still a lot of gel told masala Salaam and his brother to speak to Pharaoh in a nice and soft speech. So you give the advice. you advise someone in seclusion, along with a nice way? And if he did not listen, and you expect that many people say oh, I told him once. That's it, I will not tell him again. No, you need to remind him, you remind him another time maybe the first time he forgot. Now you remind him You told him look this thing is bad. Smoking is not good, it affects your health, you should not do it. And he did not listen, you know that this person goes to

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one of the respected reputed scholars and that scholar does not know that this person smokes. So you go to the scholar, you tell him what do you think of the people who smoke in front of the man. So the man would be reminded, then you tell him you tell the one that you want to advice you tell him you raise his self esteem you tell him these things are not appropriate for you. You are better than that. You know this sentence is very beautiful. It's very helpful. You are better than that people who do that are not like you You are better than that. So these are few ways few good ways when you want to give the advice. If you don't follow them do not expect people to listen to you. But if you

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follow them step by step, inshallah people will listen. Even if they did not listen at least you did your effort. You made the effort that was required from you, and you will get the reward from Allah subhanho wa Taala. I asked Allah azza wa jal to make us among those who listen to the guidance and follow the rest of it. Just like Milan Hara salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.