Parental Piety – It’s Importance And It’s Limits
Channel: Ibrahim Hindy
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No man de la HuFa la medulla
well my own little further ahead the
watershed will Illa Allah Allahu Akbar who will actually color wash hello and Mohammed Abdullah who are solo or solo hula hula Rama Tyndall al Amin.
Welcome to watch meaning woman journalist Sally King was written in the Ultramarine and Allah will be you know fall short of having his solo off as a hobby he are in an army and then on Salman waka Logan Wilfer for long Mugsy Pharaoh manages Atena Vienna and on Mattia
what or soon and under our to hear what he said it
was only Allah knows what Baddeck Ali while early he was heavy water Jimmy a minister Nabisco neTea worked with the sad helium Indian. A mother will see from what I've seen FCB taco Allahu Taala find the homie a tequila Elijah Allahu Allah kraja where is the common high school I tested all praises due to Allah alone. In him we seek aid and assistance and to Him we turn both in repentance and for forgiveness. Truly Ium Allah subhanaw taala guides, none can mislead. And em Allah leaves to go astray There is none who can guide and I bear witness that there is nothing worthy of worship, save Allah alone. And that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is both his servant and His messenger.
Allah Subhan Allah, Allah created us with different responsibilities and obligations to a variety of people in our lives. The husband has his obligations to his wife and the wife, to the husband, the neighbors to each other, those in power and in authority to those over whom they rule
and so on and so forth. But of the greatest of these obligations that he has placed upon mankind, is the obligation
of one to their parents.
And Allah subhanaw taala raises this obligation. This writes, alongside, or to be mentioned only after his right Subhana wa Taala to be worshipped. Loco darbuka, Allah taboo Ilaria what will worry the near Santa that your Lord has decreed that none should be worshipped save him and to have excellence to your parents?
And throughout the Quran, Allah reminds us and shows us the example of prophets in relation to their parents. He mentions and describes profit Yeah, here it has Suriname
and he mentioned overwhelmed BYD, they he will Aamir Khan Jabbar on Alcea the he was dutiful to his parents, and he was not a disobedient tyrant. And he mentions the words of Lisa in a miracle in his cradle, when he says well about running BYD the tea that God has made me dutiful to my mother.
And he mentioned is the dua of prophets today man it has Sanam rugby I was Ernie and ash Khurana and meta Keleti and I'm to Alejo and our the day my lord enabled me to be grateful for your favor, which you have bestowed upon me, and also to be grateful for my parents.
And he mentioned that I have no idea who said I'm Rob the fiddly while he while he they will even Dakota Beatty in my Lord forgive me and my parents and whoever enters my house a believer.
And of all the examples of the prophets what stands out the most is the example of Al Khalil
Ali his sin and Prophet Ibrahim be intimate friend of Allah azza wa jal tested with a father who would worship idols and promote idolatry and build the idols. And Allah gives us this example. And we see in it's a series of verses of Prophet Ibrahim speaking to His Father,
in the most loving of terms, yeah, Betty, each verse with a piece of advice and he says, oh, my beloved father Yeah, Betty. The most loving formation of the dressing the father is on the tongue of Ibrahim. Yeah, but TDM Otago do matter Yes, Metro wala, you will see whether you can cache my father. Why is it that you worship that which does not hear and does not see and will not benefit you at all? Yeah, but he in the Hofland EMS took either the mineral men for the corner the shade for the corner, the shaytani one ear? Oh, my dearest Father, I am fearful that you will be touched with a punishment from the Most Merciful and that you would be a companion
to the devil.
And despite the beautiful manners of Ibrahim speaking to his father, with this most eloquent and loving form of speech, his father responds back to him with harshness with a threat of death.
Yeah, Ibrahim the inland tenter de la rue de juman nakawa Giovanni Maria Oberoi him if you do not detest the desist, I will stone you, I will kill you by stoning you, and so abandoned me.
And in response to his oppressive father, again, he responds with kindness, with humility, with piety pada Sena, when are they? He said, Peace be upon you stuff Phil will I will seek for your forgiveness.
First stockfeed Rhoda Kirby, I will seek my lord for your forgiveness, beseech my lord for your forgiveness in the hole can I be happy indeed, he has always been gracious to me. So all the prophets, no matter the status of their parents, whether their parents were righteous or not, whether their parents were kind hearted or not. All of the prophets strove to treat their parents with kindness and excellence and piety.
And Allah subhanaw taala, as we mentioned, brings close the meanings
and strikes the analogy in our mind,
or brings the heights of filial piety after only the reminder of the rights of Allah subhanaw taala were with Allah to Shrek will be here. What will Why do they need Santa? worship your Lord and Associates nun in worship with him and show excellence and beauty to your parents? And because of this, Allah subhanaw taala says, initially will you already be grateful to me and to your parents? Even I'm best said Finn and Shakira Allah he will magically worry, they let me look bad men. He said, Because of this verse, whoever is grateful to Allah but not grateful to their parents, it will not be accepted from them.
And this is because the parents are often the vehicle of the Mercy of Allah subhanaw taala in our lives, Allah created us, brought us into this world through the medium of our parents, and so much of the mercy we attain in this world came through our parents to begin with.
When a man asked the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasallam about the greatest deeds, the best deeds a man can do. He said, a Salah to Allah wa T Ha, from a pilot builder and while he then he said to pray at its time, then he was asked what next? He said to be pious to your parents. There's an undeniable link between the worship of Allah subhanaw taala on one hands, and our dutifulness to our parents. And there is nothing after the worship of Allah azza wa jal are establishing our prayer more important than being dutiful to our parents.
And for this reason, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Kulu
Kulu yuck fear Allahu Masha Are you available? Masha, all of the sins God will forgive whichever He wills and God will punish whatever He wills
except for one sin except for he says in law who kawari then except for being an dutifulness. abusive to your parents. Except for into who you are for now your agenda saw the Sahibi here, Phil higher to dunya coupling minute Allah will hasten the punishment for this person in this life before the next life. And another Hadith The Prophet said Kabbalah will cover the most major of the major sins, the worst of all the major sins and Isaku biller worshiping other than Allah, well, how can validate and being oppressive, unjust, abusive to your parents will Shahad that azul and to bear false testimony? These are the worst of all of the sins, the worst of all the major sins. And the
Prophet continued to repeat this over and over and over again. Until the companions were sitting there, they said, We wish the prophet would stop, because they understood the gravity of the words of our Prophet sallallahu he will send them
and the Prophet sallallahu How do you send them taught us read the ROB field unguided will suffer to rub FISA cattle wanted, that the pleasure of your Lord is found in the pleasure of your parents. And the anger of your Lord is found in the anger of your parents. We know the Hadith when the man came to our Prophet sallallahu where it was sending them. He said, Yeah rasool Allah, men are Hakko because Nyssa T or messenger of Allah who has the good
Greatest writes, For my companionship
for my time
for my being in their company,
of all the people I deal with all Messenger of Allah, my boss at work, for whom I get money from my business associates are my friends or my children or my wife who has the greatest rights and my companionship.
And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to him, from your mother, it says, If the Prophet Sall, Allahu Allah, He will send them a saying, if you have one, smile, give it to your mother. If you have one gift, give it to your mother. If you have one free hour, give it to your mother. If you don't have the ability to spend time with anyone the entire week, make sure at least you spend it with your mother,
from the UK, from the UK, from your mother, than your mother than your mother than your father.
This is the attitude of our Prophet Sall Allahu Allah. He was our Prophet, who begged Allah's permission to be allowed to visit the graves.
And had he SallAllahu wasallam not done so it would have been prohibited upon us to visit the graves. He begged for Allah's permission to visit the graves. And then he said to the Companions, I had prohibited you from visiting the graves. Now Allah has given me permission. And the first thing he did, he went to the grave of his mother, and he began to cry and Allahu Allah, He will send them
one day as our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is dividing the spoils of war amongst the people, an old woman
comes to our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
and the Prophet drops everything.
And he lays out his robe on the ground.
And he orders that some milk is brought forward.
And he leaves all the people, the soldiers, the leaders of tribes, the important chiefs, he leaves them all aside.
And he sits with this old lady. And the people are wondering, who is this woman? This old lady, but the prophet would abandon everyone around him, and go and sit and serve this woman. And they found out it was the wetness of the Prophet Sall Allahu Allah, he was only him and his mother from breastfeeding. If this was the way of our Prophet Sall, Allahu Allah, he was sending them with his wet nurse, what would the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam have done to his own mother? How would he have honored her and respected her?
And we see this throughout the seat of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the reminder to people of the importance of their parents, and then comes to our prophets of Allah who How do you send them asking to fight with him? Traveling from Yemen, to Medina,
a long distance,
going through valleys and climbing mountains, to arrive at the doorstep of our prophets, Allah Allahu Allah.
And we think our Prophet
was leading this community in Medina. He was the leader, the president of this community, the leader of their army, surrounded by enemies. To see a young man approached him and say, I want to fight with you. You would think the first thing our Prophet would ask him?
Are you strong with weapons? Do you have experience fighting? Can you ride a horse? How can you be of use of me in my army? The way that any person of the dunya would think? But this is Rasul allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
What did he say to him?
The first question Electrohome is your mother alive?
The man said yes, I left my mother behind. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to him, ha let's read we'll edge Well my father and Allah. Are you seeking their award from Allah subhanho wa taala? Is that what you are looking for? The man said yes. He said, Ha, Ha ha ha. Fasten either you have for them metal Jana. He said, Go back to her and be excellent of your treatment of her. For that is where paradise is. You want your reward from Allah azza wa jal go back to your mother. The prophet is telling him paradise is not here with me. Not even fighting in this noble cause, if it means abandoning your mother alone. Go back to her and server and that is where you will find jitna
another man came to the city of our Prophet sallallahu to send them to live in his company to learn from his knowledge and the Prophet salallahu Allah he was sending them doesn't ask him did you come to the city with
money because we in Medina are suffering with poverty. He said he didn't ask him Are you coming with knowledge? Are you a doctor a carpenter, an iron Smith someone to help us build the city? All the things that a leader running a city would be concerned with primarily know the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to him, Kay for terracotta every week. How did you leave your parents? You came here to learn to study, to learn your deen. But let me ask you a more important question. How did you leave your parents in what states
on October? Get Qian? He said I left them crying.
I left them and they were crying that I left them. The prophets Allah Allahu alayhi wa sallam said it'll gel Eema Well, Paco Houma can update all. He said, Go back to them, and make them laugh. Just as you have made them cry.
Go back and make them happy, just as He made them sad.
Make them laugh just as you have made them cry.
This was the level of appreciation for our parents that our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam insisted upon
and it took precedence over all things other than the worship of Allah subhanho wa taala. And this is important for us to understand in our lives, that we prefer our parents in our lives and serve them and turn to Allah subhanaw taala. Through this way, federal inequality how the US stock market will come through in order for.
This will allow him to allow Soto salam ala Rasulillah, who either he will be here, we'll Manuela
just as we spoke in the early part of this clip,
about the rights of parents, and the importance of children to obey their parents. I want to
that some issue that I feel is quite important.
And an issue that we don't speak about quite often. we shy away often from mentioning the rights of children, for a number of reasons. Number one,
most children lack in their dutifulness to their parents. And it is more rare to be the opposite way.
And we fear to give a license to children to harm their parents or to exceed in being on dutiful to them.
But the reality is there are parents who use the religion
to sometimes abused their children. So they tell their child,
if you don't obey every single thing I say to you,
then you're going to the hellfire.
This happens in some homes.
And it can cause significant harm.
We as Muslims are obliged with bitter allottee, then to be dutiful to our parents. Better does not necessarily mean pa
dutifulness or piety to our parents does not necessarily mean obedience to them.
It can mean obedience, but not always. There are limitations to the obedience of the parents. And we should understand this. I'll give you some examples. A sister came to me. And she has developed severe anxiety because her mother treating her in a certain way where she
you know, instructs her to do certain things in her life. And if she doesn't do so, she curses her and she makes against her, even physically attacks her.
A brother mentioned to me his mother tries to control every aspect of his life. She's the one who forced him to marry who he married. She's the one who forced him to do many things in his life. And, you know, he's confiding in me anger that he has because of this. So, I want to clarify some issues. Again, we are obliged with a bitter NYT then, which is often translated as obedience to the parents but it's not. Its piety to the parents, which is a higher level than obedience, in fact, because you can obey someone and hate them.
Your boss at work, you might OBEY Him and hate him.
No, that would not be bitter. Right? Their piety to your parents has this meaning of mercy and empathy and affection and excellence and so they'll cook the opposite of bitter abusiveness is to ruin and corrupt something. They would say often that the monitor the watcher has become an app, meaning it's become
spoiled. So that's corrupting the relationship with the parents. So we should say generally speaking,
you should obey your parents, but there are limitations. What are the limitations? First of all, obviously, if the parents asked you to do something haram, if they tell you to do something that is impermissible to lie, to cheat, to steal, to give false witness, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Luthra, tell him look female, see, it's in column, there is no obedience to a creation, to a created being, when it involves disobeying the Creator, Subhana Hautala. And this happens often in our community, for instance, the father cuts off his brother, then he tells the children, you're not allowed to speak to your uncle. This happens sometimes. So now obeying the father, you would be
doing haram because part of your duties as a Muslim is to connect to your family. Right? If an RJ mentions this example, he said the children should not obey their father, but to daddy the HEMA to you know, not necessarily confront him about it, speak to the uncle privately connect to him privately. And if the father asks, just make up an excuse. The second point,
if your parents asked you to do something that will cause a significant harm to you.
An example of this is a sister who had was suffering back pain, severe back pain. And she went to the doctors and they said they she needed to do a type of spinal surgery, otherwise, she would be living with significant back pain. Her parents refused this. They said if you get surgery, people will find out about it. And your marriage prospects will be in jeopardy people will wonder, Oh, her health is a problem. Don't marry her. So she went to some Michelle Yes. And asked this question, what do I do? And the scholar said, this is an issue that will cause you harm, in which case it is permissible for you to disobey them.
And this is similar in common in situations where the parents meddle into the children's marriage. They forced them to buy a house. Sometimes they force the child buy a house that is too expensive for the child. They can't afford it. And the parents say no, you have to buy it. Because the parents pride and honor is on the line.
Or sometimes they tell the children you have to get pregnant right now and have children. And maybe the children have something in their life. One sister mentioned to me her husband had in a severe issues, mental health issues. They wanted to wait for him to get treatment and then have children and the parents are insisting No, you have to have children right right now. So now you're causing harm for the child. Does the child have to obey? And we say no. A man came to him and met. And he said in Abby Maroney and autolock xojo team, my father is commanding me to divorce my wife.
And so Imam Muhammad said to him that we do not divorce her.
The man said, Didn't
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam command, Abdullah ibn Amato to divorce his wife. When automotive in a football club told him to divorce his wife. This indeed did happen. I'm gonna have a hot dog told his son Abdullah, you know, I'm gonna divorce your wife. And Abdullah I'm gonna I'm gonna went to the Prophet and said, my father's telling me to divorce my wife and the prophets of Allah. And he said, I'm told that beloved, I'm gonna divorce your wife. So he came to us it didn't just happen. It said yes. He said, Well, Abu committed armor, but is your father like armor? Armor, the Allahu ion is not going to tell his son to divorce his wife for no reason. He's going to tell
his son to divorce his wife. If there's a shutter I reason there's an Islamic justification. He said your father is not to Allah. Okay. So in your case, your father is coming into your marriage telling you to divorce your wife, no, don't listen to him. So in areas where harm is going to be caused to the child because of the command of the parents, the child does not have to obey one caveat here. What constitutes harm has to be according to the Shetty out in today's day and age, they want to call everything they don't like harm everything they don't like violence No, has to be according to the Shediac. So you would seek the opinion of a scholar for this third point. Let's say the parents
are commending you to do something that does not benefit them
and maybe does not harm you. So for example, the son wants to study law, and the parents want him to study medicine. This does not directly involve the parents
It does not directly benefit them.
At the same time, it does not necessarily harm the child.
Or let's say the child wants to buy the Honda Civic. And the parents are saying no, you have to buy the Toyota Camry. Again, it does not directly involve the parents, it does not directly benefit them. At the same time, it does not harm the child. Hear the scholars say that it is Mr. hab, it is preferred to obey the parents. It's not necessarily an obligation, but it's preferred and they will be rewarded. If you buy the Toyota even though you want the Honda you will get reward from Allah subhanaw taala because you're doing it to please your parents. If you wanted to study law, but you say fine, I will study medicine, because it will make my parents happy, you will be rewarded in the
sight of Allah subhanho wa taala. And this is important for people to understand it been to me, he said unisim In Santa Artois, II, they mean it Marcia when Kenneth Fassi, when he said it is imperative for the person to obey their parents.
As long as the parents are not telling them to disobey Allah, even if the parents themselves are sinful, why the female fee him and facula home, but this is an issues in which there is a benefit for the parents. So now let's say the parents tell you come mow my lawn,
then you have to obey them.
The parents tell you I need to go to visit my friend. And it's not going to cause harm for you. They're not telling you to come in the middle of the workday and get fired. No, they're telling you during your life Come give me a ride, you have to obey them. Right? Because this is where there is men fathers benefit for the parents, right. And they're not causing any real harm. Maybe they're annoying you maybe they're taking away your time. But that's not an excuse, right. And so you have to understand these different levels, when there's a benefit for the parents, you have to obey them in those circumstances. And in this situation, even Taymiyah also mentioned, it's not permissible
for anyone to force a child to marry someone. Right? You can't force your children to marry a specific person. Of course, with the young daughter, the father has to agree to the marriage. But the only the Guardian, The Father has to agree to the marriage, but he can't force her to marry someone. And even Taymiyah said, it's not permissible to force someone to eat something they don't want to eat. Let's say you don't like a particular food, you can't force the person to eat it. Rather than eat the food they want to eat. He said and the bitterness of eating the food you don't like will last you one hour. But the bitterness of marrying someone you don't want to marry could
last you a lifetime. Right? So this is important circumstances for people to understand. But realize, throughout all of these examples, we still have to have better. We still have to have piety to our parents. Right? When the story man came to Imam Malik. And he said to him, I have my mother and my sister and my wife. And my mother prefers my sister to me. So every time I have money, every time I have something in my life, my mother commands me to give it to my sister. What do I do? Imam Malik said, in the Quran, Allah to Liva were talking to someone had been aqueduct. He said, I see that you don't harm her. Don't harm your mother. Don't confront her. Don't be like, Why are you
doing this to me get into a fight with her. Don't do this. But get out of this situation, however you can. Meaning tell her in sha Allah, I'll see what I can do. Let me see what because obviously, her making him give everything to his sister is not fair. And not just, and he has a family and he has a wife and he has to spend on them. There's not so you find a way to get out of the situation without harming your mother without annoying her without getting into a fight and yelling and screaming at her. In every circumstance in our relationship with our parents. We have to have, we have to treat them with excellence and kindness and love in every circumstance. And we see this with
Prophet Ibrahim and the example we mentioned earlier, every speech he says to his father, Yeah, but see my dearest father as he speaks to him. And Allah tells us in the Quran, when gehad Dhaka Allah and to Sheikh Abdullah mele, Salah can be here, if your parents are striving, fighting to make you worship other than Allah the worst of all the sins. What does Allah tell you for that? don't obey them Warsaw hate the whole mafia dunya but accompany them in this in this dunya in this world with excellence accompany them in this world with kindness don't obey them. They're trying to make you do the worst thing in the world. They're striving to make you do the worst thing in the world. Yes,
don't obey them but still be with them still be in their company still be dutiful to them still have excellence and love and mercy with them. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to make us have excellence in our relationship with our parents.
It's dutifulness to them in Allahu Allah if it was gonna be yeah you will Adina ammonoosuc