» Earn on-going rewards and help us do more! «

Domestic Violence

share this pageShare Page
Ibrahim Hindy

Channel: Ibrahim Hindy

Episode Notes

Khutbah

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:03--> 00:00:04

If

00:00:05--> 00:00:14

you want to study in over you want to stop or want to study want to lie to RMS rhodium fusina wanna see it? I'm Elena in only the low philomela

00:00:15--> 00:00:59

era marshadow la la la la de la sharika why wash? Mohammed and I'm the hora solo or solo la Ratan LLM in Papa mini in Montrose and the Saudi King attended a big journey and now we know wasabia sudo Wahhabi he is an ami Anwar Donald Suman Baku and welcome along with z higher omega z tena VM annual meeting or soon and under what he what he said it was a la la la la he was heavy where Allah Jimmy every minister and every so negative whatever the sad he laomi Dean that for see C'mon FCB taco la tada for in a woman naamyaa tequila, Maharajah oil supplement

00:01:00--> 00:01:21

operators due to a lot alone. And then we seek aid and assistance and damn we turn both in repentance and for forgiveness. Julian Allah subhanaw taala guides know can mislead and he Lumumba leaves to go astray there is none who can guide and I bet when it said there's nothing worthy of worship civil law alone. And then Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is both a servant and His Messenger.

00:01:22--> 00:02:18

Imagine the most prized possession that you possess the most expensive gift and cherished gift that you have with you in your life. How would you treat that gift? How would you protect this gift that you have this great desire and that you derive great benefits from none of us in any way, shape or form? would ever want to harm or damage something that we prize as a possession? If that's our mentality, when it comes to our physical possessions, our homes and our cars and our houses and our money, then what greater level of protection and love when we want to give things that are far beyond physical oppression of possessions? our family, our wives, our children. The Prophet

00:02:18--> 00:02:45

sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Mr fat does not mean that the taco not bad the toquilla Hi, you will love him so decide to have his said that no man has benefited anything greater after the taqwa of Allah penalty rather than having a righteous wife. There's no greater gift. There's no greater possession. There's nothing greater than Allah subhanaw taala gifting someone after their taqwa of Allah subhanaw taala their consciousness of a law than to have a righteous wife.

00:02:46--> 00:02:48

Therefore, how foolish is it?

00:02:50--> 00:03:37

When a man harms and destroys and abuses this precious gift that Allah Subhana Allah has blessed him with this gift of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in his farewell sermon. And his last, you know was called the hospital What? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said for tuffle luff in this fear Allah in relation to your women in relation to the women waiting to come in and have to move on to Vienna Tila was the tofu Jelena. You can even say La, he said for indeed you have taken them by the entrustment of Allah subhanaw taala Your wife is something that allows a panel to add interested for you to have and they became Hillel for you because of the word of Allah. Meaning that

00:03:37--> 00:04:27

the contract that made your wife Hillel for you, is a contract in which you invoke the name of Allah subhanaw taala based upon your relationship with Allah subhana wa either, meaning that this relationship ultimately goes back to a loss of Hannah tada and allow will question you and ask you about how you dealt with this entrustment that Allah has entrusted you with this family that a lot has made you or giving you an interest Did you to deal with? This topic of talking about? violence in our community is domestic violence, violence in the home, family violence, it is taboo in most circles amongst Muslims. Most people don't want to talk about it. and Canada, the statistics are

00:04:27--> 00:05:00

that one out of five women experienced abuse in their relationships. On average, every six days a woman is killed by her partner. Every year 360,000 children witnessed or experienced family violence. And these are staggering numbers. And it's impossible for a Muslim to avoid or ignore that this level of abuse exists. And some people will say but this happens in the non Muslim society. It doesn't happen in ours. Unfortunately, it does happen.

00:05:00--> 00:05:39

In ours, and in this time of COVID, where people are in lockdown in their homes, and they're seeing their family all the time. And, you know, we sometimes get on each other's nerves a little bit more because we're in each other's face all the time. It's gotten worse and worse. And people like myself were in the community. We see these cases happen almost week after week after week, people are coming forward with stories of violence that happens in their homes. And some of the worst issues is when people who are guilty of this violence against their families, they try to justify it using the Quran and Sunnah. They act as if they have the permission of the last panel to add to do this evil

00:05:39--> 00:06:19

deed that they have done. They might call it a Hadeeth here or an idea there to try to justify what they've done. We don't have time to go through every single, you know, excuse that they make or explain why they've misinterpreted the Quran and Sunnah. The reality is that nobody with sincerity, will read the Quran and Sunnah, and decide that it means that you can or should physically or emotionally abuse or abuse your family. Rather, what usually happens, the reality is that these men are abusive, they have problems with their anger, they have problems with trying to dominate other people. And instead of looking in the mirror and taking responsibility for their actions,

00:06:20--> 00:07:00

and coming to terms with the fact that they've committed an evil, they try to twist an eye or howdy to try to say that what they did actually wasn't wrong. We teach this in every other area that when a person commits something, or does something wrong, the harm that they've done, is evil. Trying to justify it often is worse. Somebody commit Zina than they want to say there isn't as hell that they drink alcohol, then they want to save their alcohol is bad and good. Sometimes the justification is even worse sometimes than the sin. And so the people who have done this very vile, evil sin, trying to justify it, according to the religion is a terrible thing. How can someone take a portion of a

00:07:00--> 00:07:16

verse or phrase a portion of a phrase of a verse really a fraction of a verse, and ignore the explicit AR to the Hadeeth, which show the opposite? When we know that what an interprets some of it interprets itself? And how these provide context for the court and

00:07:17--> 00:07:56

the profits of the law wherever you send them. As was narrated now, blah, blah, blah. So the lights on while we're only using them, she ought to be a de la, Mo. Well, I am writing with a Hardyman. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam was described by his wives that he never hits. Anything, never struck anything with his hand. How a lot Shay and but not only are they saying that he did not hit people, even the animals the Prophet sallallahu wasallam did not hit these and there was nothing that Prophet struck with his hand, neither a servant nor a woman. We know in our traditional Heidi, that 70 women once came to the house of the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam complaining about their

00:07:56--> 00:08:10

husbands and complaining that their husbands were hitting them. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came in front of the Muslims in the masjid the next day. He said number four for big Mohammedan Musa and caphyon. Yes, Guna as well.

00:08:11--> 00:08:13

He said many women have come

00:08:15--> 00:08:54

off the bat Mohammed literally circulating the house of Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, he said all the many women have come around the house of Mohammed, complaining about their husbands. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Lisa will be here at home. He said these husbands that they are complaining about they are not the best amongst you. These husbands have been hurting, they're their family, they're not the best amongst you. Notice how the profits in the long run even send them address domestic violence. He spoke about domestic abuse. He didn't sweep it under the rug. He didn't hear from these women and decide this is something not to talk about, rather than profits in

00:08:54--> 00:09:05

the long run. He was sentenced for spoke about it openly. And he addressed it directly. So how can we ignore these explicit instructions and example of our profits, and we'll lower the use of them.

00:09:06--> 00:09:48

And this is something's panela our religion came to push back against the Jay Z perceptions of women. The Jay Z perception that a woman was a physical possession, that in some communities, some tribes amongst the Arabs, if the woman died if the husband died, the woman was inherited by his brother like she was part of his property, that it was often that women would be abused and harmed by their husbands. And Islam came and pushed against this the power of the law where it is up to the Prophet once couldn't match up. Quraysh Toma nahi bernisa he said we were when we were

00:09:49--> 00:09:54

we were people who would always dominate the women, Fela autumnal Medina.

00:09:57--> 00:10:00

These are then when we came to Medina we found the women are over

00:10:00--> 00:10:39

Coming them in Medina, the city that the projects a little longer I mean it was in them was in charge of who's the culture of the city was tied to the teachings of the Prophet sallallahu. How do you send them that later on, you know, Imam Malik would make a melon Medina who is a source of shediac for him because he realized this is a society instituted by Rasul Allah. And Allah says when we came to Medina, we found the women were the ones dominating the men, because it snam gave women empowered women and pushed back against the Joe Haley perceptions of women at that time. Islam came Allah Subhana Allah says when we meet 1111 that's why

00:10:41--> 00:10:47

it's an M came in said the believing men and believing women are allies of each other supporters of each other. Yeah.

00:10:51--> 00:10:51

We'll

00:10:52--> 00:11:01

be enjoying What's good, they forbid what is evil, they established prayer that gives a cat they have common goals. They have common goals that we're all striving towards.

00:11:03--> 00:11:08

And in this life, Allah subhanaw taala in North Korea, and he instructs every husband why Sharon doesn't

00:11:09--> 00:11:11

live with your with your wives,

00:11:13--> 00:11:58

according to what is good mouth comes back literally, to the concept of Earth, of customs, Allah and I'm a student here say that the husband is required to treat his wife to live with his wife, with a level of kindness that is related to the culture of his people. And so that it should, he acknowledges that culture can be different place to place from time to time. And Allah is instructing the men to exhibit chivalry, kindness, gentleness, in relation to the customer and the culture of your community and of the time that you live in. And so knowing the times that we live in, and in light of the example of the Prophet solo, at least in him, it's clear that the rampant

00:11:58--> 00:12:28

abuse that exists in many homes cannot be justified, according to the show. Yeah. And no matter what interpretation of Islam you follow, which meant Have you adhere to which fit that you refer to, you're never going to find a justification for a man to beat his wife, the way over petty issues, issues that are so trivial. Often you might ask them, what was the reason what was the issue? What was the fight, they might not even remember from how petty and trivial these issues become?

00:12:29--> 00:12:31

You will not find any justification in the shediac

00:12:32--> 00:12:45

for a man beating his wife bruising her as what happens often today. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was bewildered by the man who was hits his wife. He said in the health and body on a female

00:12:48--> 00:12:49

faculty.

00:12:50--> 00:13:35

He said, How is it a rhetorical question? How does any one of you beat your wife as he beats and fat and fat is like that stallion camel, it's not just the average camel, the stallion camel, the one in the prime of its life and the prime of strength. That camel you could beat it as hard as you possibly could. And it might not even feel it. The problem is, is how does any one of you beat your wife? Like someone would beat this stallion camel from Malala who you acquire and then after that he wants to embrace her. And then after that he wants to be intimate with her. How does one do something so vicious to the person that Allah gave him as a spouse? How many of these men realize

00:13:35--> 00:14:20

that these women are the mother of their own children? How many of them realize that this woman is a daughter of another man? Don't they know the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the Rule of Life really comes down to Dino to Dan, as you treat you will be treated. When a person is beating their wife. They're actually sending a message to their own sons and their own daughters. They're telling them it's okay to beat your wife. And they're telling them it's okay to be beaten by her husband. It becomes an intergenerational sin. Not only are you guilty of abusing your wife, you are perhaps teaching your son it's okay to abuse his wife and you are perhaps teaching your

00:14:20--> 00:14:59

daughter. It's okay for her husband to beat her. What man wants to send a message like that? And the Prophet asks me my yo boo boo, I had brought up a bourbon file. How can a man do this? How can any one of you beat your wife like he beats the stallion camel, and then he wants to embrace her. He's amazed because it is irrational to treat someone so cruelly and then want an intimate relationship with her? Is she not a human being? The Prophet is describing that the treatment that some men are giving their wives is worse than the treatment of animals. And the prophet SAW a lower and he was sent him said in another de la bueno.

00:15:00--> 00:15:14

shuttle region. Men can do hubbub, but basically it will fail. He said that the worst of men are the ones who are quick to anger and slow to understanding, slow to thinking.

00:15:15--> 00:15:18

Sometimes you talk to these men, why did you I just got angry.

00:15:19--> 00:15:21

And then later on, I realized that what I did was wrong.

00:15:23--> 00:15:24

You need to control your anger.

00:15:26--> 00:15:29

If you have a problem with anger, you need to seek that remedy.

00:15:30--> 00:16:20

You can't allow your personal issue and anger caused you to abuse your family and children. The profits on the lawn, where do you send them said, Hello, my name is Johnny Huckleberry Finn, he made a drive in front of the Sahaba that they could hear him. Oh en la Hadley, Johnny K, I am asking you all lots of declare a warning against those who abused the rights of two types of people. And by failing the two vulnerable types of people, who are they, Alia team will monitor the progress of the orphan and the woman. Women are too often in a vulnerable state, just like the orphan. Too often the woman feels alone in the house of her husband just like the orphan feels alone, and the profits and

00:16:20--> 00:17:01

the lower exam is warning us beware of harming the woman in the orphan. The incentive is exalting the rights. And so when a snap was revealed, it was revealed to where people also were waiting for abuse is very common, very widespread. When a man came to the profits of the law, wherever you send them, he said earlier Rasulullah mahak Basilica for messenger of Allah what is the rights of the wife, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said pod and to play, it outlines that you feed her when you eat, ie you feed her when you eat and the same quality of food that you eat, you feed her from it. What takes away a doctor, the doctor said you close her from your clothing, the same

00:17:01--> 00:17:27

quality standard of clothing that you wear she wears as well. And then he said what are what are topiary wanderwege. And the you do not strike her face. I realize the most common form of wife abuse in Arabia at that time was the man would slap his wife across the face. This was the most common form of abuse, the prophesizes specifically forbade it, do not strike her face. What are two?

00:17:29--> 00:17:29

What are two?

00:17:31--> 00:17:46

What does this mean? A Buddha would remember why he says to cut back and literally means to curse her to come back comes from making something ugly. Colombia has what's ugly, what's repulsive, what that

00:17:47--> 00:18:19

means don't degrade her to make her feel ugly. Some men maybe they don't hit their wives, but when they are around their wives, they tell them you are ugly, you are disgusting, you are this you are low you are you are you are and with their words, they are degrading them with their words, they are harming them. This is what's called the emotional abuse. Many men may not hit their wives, but they curse them. They use vile language to make them feel like they are worthless. And so the Prophet said what else

00:18:20--> 00:18:26

and don't do this, what at Villa Phil bait and do not abandon her except in the house.

00:18:27--> 00:18:41

Meaning if there is an argument, you don't kick her out of the house. If there's a problem, you don't kick her out of the house. And this happens often. Unfortunately, the wife all of a sudden is homeless because their husband kicked her out.

00:18:42--> 00:19:01

And, you know, unless there's a divorce, and even when there's a divorce, there's rules for it. But if there's a fight, you should be the one to sleep on the couch. If there's a fight and someone needs to leave the house, because it's unbearable, the husband's The one who leaves the house, the wife has a greater right to be protected.

00:19:03--> 00:19:07

And the prophet SAW along where he was sent him said committed meaning imagine I sent him

00:19:10--> 00:19:40

the most complete of the believers in their faith in their emotion are those who are the best in their colos in their character was the outcome Lisa, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives. And the Prophet sallallahu wherever you send them said Hi, and welcome Plato from d&d, the best of you or the best of their families for the best to their wives. Why not hide? Welcome daddy and I am the best amongst you, to my family and to my wives. And so how many people

00:19:41--> 00:20:00

you know, they show a certain face in the message. They show a certain face in the workplace. They're jovial in the message it have a great smile. They're so nice. And then you find out that in their home, they treat them terribly. How many people in the workplace they're so kind they're so good.

00:20:00--> 00:20:33

You know, they get along with everybody, they're joking and they go home and they're like a dictator. And the prophets of the lower Islam says the best of you are the best to their families. And you come in the message and everybody loves you. And everybody's like, you know, their face lights up, Oh brother, so and so I love this brother. He's so nice. Everybody in the masjid loves you, everybody in the workplace loves you. But at home, nobody loves you. At home, people are afraid of you, at home, people see all your flaws, then that that's not a measure of a good person. The people who know you best are the people who see you at home.

00:20:35--> 00:20:40

And so the Prophet sallallahu, wherever you send them an ultimatum with and like we mentioned the beginning of the hook, but

00:20:42--> 00:20:58

a very short hook, but the promise that we send them makes, there are only five paragraphs. And the Prophet spends an entire paragraph of this whole Tibet, talking about what talking about women. But second life in the SAP, fear alarm relation to women in

00:21:00--> 00:21:33

the amanatullah was to Hamilton Florida, we can even see that you have only been entrusted with them by the entrustment of a lot. And they've only been made highlighted to you by the word of Allah, you will be asked about how you have dealt with your wife and children. And so fear Allah in relation to how you have treated the women in your life. You took them by the permission of Allah, and it's a sacred oath between you and Allah subhanaw taala. And on Laszlo, Jen will take us to oath for that covenant. For that both we have taken with him to kind of what he had always talked about,

00:21:34--> 00:21:35

in order for writing

00:21:47--> 00:21:54

Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam, ala rasulillah, Allahu Allah, Allah, he was so happy when he saw that he was at the MD 100, Dr. Emily Sonia,

00:21:55--> 00:22:40

cloud before I conclude, you know, just a few words for those who this themselves might be of those who are abused, if you face the abuse in your life, to some small pieces of advice, that first of all, it's important for the person who was witnessed abuse was faced abuse themselves, to know that allies are jealous of that the one who truly is strong, that one who truly holds power is a loss of Hannah watts. And the one who's oppressed in this dunya. In relation to the dunya, they are seen as weak. But in relation to a loss of Hannah what's added, they are strong. The Prophet civil law, at least in him said, fear it's up without

00:22:41--> 00:23:23

fear, the call the driver, the one who was oppressed, because in the spiritual realm, in relation to a loss of handle attached to the one who was oppressed, has greater rights and has greater power. And on the Day of Judgment, the rights are going to always be settled. So realize that the true power and strength is from Allah subhana wa tada not from any abuser. Secondly, that the people who are abused should not blame themselves. There is no justification for someone to be battered and bruised the way that some people, unfortunately have been treated, there is no justification. And so often, people are told to blame themselves, it's their fault that this has happened to them. No,

00:23:23--> 00:24:07

whatever the person has done, there's no justification for the type of abuse that they have faced and seen and made up experienced themselves. Third, if it is not safe for you, in your home, reach out for help reach out to family or friends that you trust. There are organizations in our community, we are msgid, we work closely with Sakina homes, that offices in our building as well. And, you know, we help that we've helped them and they've helped us that when I get cases, I refer to them, because they've helped so many women escape tremendous amount of abuse in their lives. And if your life is in danger, if you're you really legitimately feel that your life is in danger call

00:24:07--> 00:24:27

911. I know a lot of people would say don't call 911 these are non Muslims, they're not going to treat Muslims fairly fairly. And there might be situations where that's true. But if you fear your life, if you feel like you're not going to live, you might die. Call 911 Your life is more valuable than any of those arguments that people might use or try to make you feel ashamed.

00:24:28--> 00:25:00

For if the marriage is not good for you, if there's severe abuse, I'm not talking about disagreements and people have different, you know, misunderstandings and disagreements. I'm talking about abuse of a person if you are scared for your life. Divorce is not how long. We're not a religion that says that divorce is hot. All right, even if it will tell you divorce is more cool. on the basis that if a person doesn't divorce for no reason, then it's more cruel. But if someone's being abused, there's a reason. Right? And so our religion did not

00:25:00--> 00:25:41

Make divorce calm. If a person has been severely abused or hard, their life is facing tons of violence, then in fact, it could be a good thing for them to get divorced. last panel data says, when you get a photo, it doesn't allow coolum insanity, if they separate by divorce alone, which each of them from his from his abundance Allah, Allah is not made divorced, wrong, right. It could be a good thing when there's a relationship that's not working for them to leave each other. And for those who are abusing themselves, you know, we want to remind them to fear Allah subhana wa Tada. Why as Oded says in the Quran, what attempts to go beyond any tangible homeo dynamic component and

00:25:42--> 00:26:19

Allah says don't hold on to them intending harm, intending to transgress them. Some husbands, unfortunately, they hold on to their wife, they might not even love their wife. They might not even like her, but they hold on to her because they like abusing her. Because maybe they go to work and they feel small. They get made fun of here, they get made fun of there. Maybe when they were kids, people were abusing them. They become adults, and they have this wife that they're abusing. They want to hold on to her because they feel good when they abused her. When he abuses his wife, he feels like a big man he feels manly. A loss is what a temp sequel wanted the audience to do. Don't

00:26:19--> 00:26:54

hold on to them in harm, intending harm against them intending abuse against them, wondering if they can wonder does this complaint have an upset they have only oppressed themselves? Because on the Day of Judgment, they will see what the truth is when a lie that takes people to account. Well let me do a Atilla he was what Allah says and don't take the signs of a law ingest. Don't rock the signs of Allah subhana wa Tada. realize your spouse is from Atilla it's from the signs of law. Women AR T and Hello fellow human and physical misogyny has

00:26:56--> 00:27:32

been a commodity. I didn't know what to say. And from the signs of a law from the acts of a law is that he created for you spouses from your own selves, that you may find tranquility in them and he is the one who was placed between you affection and mercy. Allah says your spells that he created for us from the eyes of Allah from the signs of Allah. Allah tells you here when that's the way out tonight he was one Don't mock the signs of Allah subhana wa Tada. If your relationship with your wife is not working, how us marry someone else, move on, divorce her and marry someone don't hold on to her in order to abuse her. Which unfortunately, is the way that many people treat their wives We

00:27:32--> 00:28:10

ask Allah Subhana Allah to add up to defend all those who are being oppressed and abused in this world. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to allow us to support those who have been abused and oppressed. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to allow the homes of the Muslims to be homeless full of tranquility and love and mercy and not ones that are full of harshness and abuse and violence in the love of my life because I was alone and maybe even in the nominal solo army. He was sitting with Sima alongside he was to them and I said you know what to do you know have you been on? A little stand up comedy meta production abroad was ali ali Hirata method awareness corfac Sonia Europe and also that also them

00:28:10--> 00:28:49

and you may need a woman Dean while he was hurriedly being applied in while I'm at MIT in one in one America and solidly in a moment after that happened a few more climbing ahead of the Manila water. Well, I haven't been in LA for a while I've been an interpolator while I'm Marina in Lucha feta when I moved to LA theta will determine how I did a little bit no one NFL sobre la platosa tabula hermetical hameroff me along Madison salmon will see me in what I need before they get any better happy with Dean. How long have you been in and he man was able to pull over what camera he needed control for supervision with animal Rashidi and in a lion or without any wood so anyways either way

00:28:49--> 00:28:57

and how did fashola Macario Aragon Allah come to the Quran? Let's go look at cuckoo Moscow wanted me as it come. What are the kobayakawa Liana with snowmen?