Channel: Hussain Kamani
This segment is part of the lecture delivered at At-Takaful Islamic Society (Islamic Center of Chicago) on the 4th of Ramadan, 2012 after Taraweeh (Nightly) prayers
As the name suggests,
the surah was revealed to that segment of the community, which was highly neglected during the time of the Prophet Solomonic.
The women in Allah subhanho wa Taala, he highlights certain rights of theirs, and how to deal with them in this world.
And this is what I believe should be studied by every single person who has any relationship with any lady, whether it be a relationship of a brother, sister, whether it be the relationship of a son and a mother, whether it be the relationship of a husband and wife. This sutra holds many key principles insights on how to deal with a woman.
For example, Allah subhana wa tada he says, In the sutra, I should open
that deal and live with your women in the most appropriate manner.
This is one verse of the Quran that most men forget to even realize was ever revealed. But Allah subhanho wa Taala is telling us that deal with your men, deal with your women, why should the men should do what their women build my roof is the most appropriate man. And this is something we saw in the life of the Prophet sallallahu. It was the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he knew how to dealt to deal with his wife and he knew how to deal with this. He knew how to deal with his daughters. He knew how to deal with the women of the community. You won't ever find anywhere that any of the wives of the partner said a lot. One of them said that the Prophet said a lot while he
was sort of raised a hand against this. You know, we all are quick to quote the versatile Koran, that Allah subhana wa tada says that
God will then advise them and then separate with him in beds, and then strike them. We're very quick to quote this ayah. But don't we all know that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was at the feet of the Koran, don't we know that his life was a clear commentary on and how I'm kept that as a last measure, the purpose of allamani was still having 10 wives never had to resort to that last measure. That's the son of the partner. So
he had 10 wives, but never the purpose of the law warranty was to ever resort to that measure, and all of his wives. And the purpose of the law, honey was set up for some of us who may say, Oh, the puppets are the loudest that may have been young, maybe he had control over his emotions, he definitely had control over his emotions. But this was the purpose of the law, it was set up from 25 until 63. And none of his wives ever had any complaint against him.
And that's the purpose of the law. While he was in a passed away, they loved him so much that none of them ever got married again. And I just thought of the amount of only 19 years old, and out of the love of them. None of them, none of the wives ever got married again. Because they knew there was no one that could ever fill in the place of the Prophet Muhammad said,
you know, to show you how the Prophet said a lot of them dealt with his wives, one of the departments and a lot of money when someone says, Well, I wanna but I know when you're happy with me, and I know when you're angry with me. And she says, How do you know?
No, anyway, from the room, if the husband was to say, I know when you're happy with me, I know when you're angry with me, every wife in the world can say, I know when you're happy. I know that too. Because when I'm when you're angry with me, when I'm angry with you, you're shouting at me. And when I'm happy with you, and you're happy with me, we're hugging and kissing each other. So, as I said, Of Yolanda, she didn't realize what the difference was between the purpose of the law while he was sort of what she was happy with him and what she was angry with him. You guys understand the point that I'm making here? Right? That's why she asked how do you know, because the purpose of a loved
one he was sort of he reacted to her, whether she was happy or angry in the very same way, his temperament didn't change. So now she's thinking that I've ever seen your temperament change when I'm angry with you, or when I'm sad with you. So how do you know that when I'm angry and sad, and then the purpose of a lot of audiences that have said that when you're happy with me, then you say, I swear by the Lord of Muhammad. And then when you're angry with me, you say, I swear by the Lord of Ibrahim, right? The promises what is nice is that I that's how I know that when you're angry with me when you're sad with me, but for the purpose of a lot of money with some sign, there was no change.
It was the exact same thing. The Puppet sort of knew how to deal with things. One of the wives of the pockets and a lot of it was to them sends food to the office that allow it to set up but he's at another wife's house. And that wife when she sees the food come to her house. She picks up the ball and she smashes it on the ground. She says How dare you step foot on my day? Do you think I can cook? And the party said a lot of what he was saying what does he do? Does he get mad at her get her in a choke lock? Well, they will start beating her like we always like referring to that. Right? Is that what he does know the purpose and a lot of stuff he says to her okay. He then calls the man
about the food weight here. He cleans up the food, whatever remains left. He says take this back and buy another bowl on the way back home.
This is what you call a husband. This is what you call it man. You want to follow his machine. Great. Let's do that. You want to follow his Snyder beers and our gals and our captain's do that. But not forget to follow the
know the purpose of the law while he was sitting with his wives, how the purpose of the law while he was sitting was racing, I said of the law, and how the purpose of the law while he was sitting, sometimes you know how our life see take me somewhere. She says, Take me to the planetarium. And you think the planetarium is the most boring thing on the face of the earth? You know, why do you want me to go there? Let's go to Six Flags or something. You know, that's our guys. And she says, You know what, let's go to the mall, and you think I don't want to go to the mall. Sometimes your wives tell you to go to places where you don't want to go. Have you ever experienced that in your life?
Yeah, many times. Right. I can testify to this definitely. Right? Well, no, I'm saying let's go do something and you don't want to do it. But the question is, what would the officer LaGuardia was sort of had done if his wife requested him to do something and he didn't want to do it. And that thing was John's if it was hot on there, obviously, hands off the top. Okay, but if that thing was permissible, and the wife of the Prophet sallallahu, wasallam wanted something and the purpose of a lot of audio sort of didn't want that, what would happen? The honey didn't say hello, honey.
Donna says that he was in the men were playing a sport. And I showed you a lot of supplements in them a lot. I wish to see them play. And she herself says the opposite a lot while he was sitting, did you want to watch the play or not?
He didn't want to watch it. He had no interest in it. She herself says that. For the purpose of the law, medicine had no interest in that sport at all. But he said, Why should he wish to watch it? Let's go. And he stood by the door outside the curtain and I saw the aloneness and I stood on my tiptoes. And I put my chin on the shoulder of the puppets and a lot more to sort of watch the game. And the purpose of it was sort of Aster Ayesha, are you done watching the game? And she said O Messenger of Allah. Let me watch it for a little longer. Right? She says that more than the game I was enjoying my chin on the shoulder of the officer.
Right? So you see how this happened here. The problem is that a lot of them didn't say I don't want to do it. So we're not gonna do we're gonna eat popcorn and go to sleep. The purpose of a lot while he was sitting, he catered to his wife why she didn't want to write he took care of his wife. And that's why the wives of the purpose of audio so they are happy with the progress that allowed ism however he was they knew he was patient with them. So they were also patient with him. How are they patient with the pocket some a lot of money with certain departments that allowed us and didn't give them millions of dollars of expense every week. He didn't give him 1000s of dollars. I said to them
on our subset that within two months, sometimes you would turn on the slope even once. Right, you're reading you know, you're eating so much food, and we're all just we're all complaining because of 18 hour fast and 19 hour fasts and all this other junk. Actually, how much are we fasting for today? How many hours 1617 hours? My friend in England were telling me that there if thought is at 9:30pm? What time?
You know what time is?
1:30am What time this is this year, right now, the entire England is doing this. Okay, there it thought is that what time 930? What time is there?
1:30am is there some people in America had the multi complaint, right, and the parties that allowed him to submit his wife's, they were eating dates in water for two months. And it wasn't because, you know, they were just you know, that they had so much food on at their disposal, but they chose but that's how the pundits have a lot what isn't trained is bam, that's what the purpose of the law why he was between his wife and they had a very good communication, right the relationship and a lot of what he mentioned in the Quran is you can live with them in the most appropriate manner. Be patient with your wives and the wives the same thing with their husbands. Be patient with one another be
calm with one another learn how to overgrow one another's, you know, shortcomings and one another's falls out over both of you. You can't be a boss to your wife. You can't be a boss to your husband. In this relationship, you have to kind of complement one another.
This is the beauty of the relationship of marriage. And this is for the adults sitting out on the kids are probably getting bored in this lecture. You have no idea what's happening, but it's okay. You guys can listen to it. Right?
I'll give you guys an example. One of the things that husbands and wives make the biggest mistake in is when you have to correct your spouse. This is the big problem is that you know, for example, your spouse does something wrong and you have to correct them. How do you correct them? How journey
for many of you becoming a minister swearing at each other small mistake and they start swearing and shouting at each other. My teacher used to say that if you want to correct your spouse, there are three principles you must follow you must follow otherwise it is not even permissible for you to correct your spouse.
What did he say? He says that there are three principles you must follow when you want to correct your wife she makes a mistake. Otherwise it's not even permissible for you to correct her. And what are the three things and not only with husband and wife This is what anyone father and child teacher and student Imam with macdaddy if you ever want to correct anyone, you there are three principles of proof in which you must follow otherwise it's not even tries to correct the person. Number one, you never correct someone when you're angry. We only correct people because we're angry. Number two, you never correct people in front of others. You correct them secretly. And the third thing never say
you always say we so rather than saying you are wrong, say that we should correct ourselves. Because when you say you to someone, you're putting them up, you're making it you're making them feel bad.
Do not know the story of Huston Cena, the Allahu taala. They went to this old man who wasn't doing well do properly rather than saying you're wrong, they said, watch us do and correct us in our mistakes. And then this old man when he saw them do movie when he started crying and he said, I know what you're doing, you're teaching me was, I was the one that was doing was wrong, you're not making any mistakes. Learn how to correct people by shoving them in the mouth. And then in that very same verse, Allah subhanaw taala then says,
If there's something you dislike or dislike about your wife, if there's something you dislike about her, then remember fossa and Takahashi when Allah houfy he later because you know that sometimes you may dislike something but allow a good insight.
Right, sometimes you may dislike something about your wife, but ultimately, Asa fossa who she unwaged out of love, who feed his computer, and a loss of abundant good inside you inside that inside that thing that you dislike. So remember to be kind to your wife, remember to be kind to your mother's Remember to be kind to your sisters, because these people in the community are those who may have the lower hand in power, who may not have the finances in their pockets. as men you may have the power you may have the finances, but that doesn't mean you ignore them rather it means you take care of them. This is what Allah subhanho wa Taala is repeatedly telling us and sort of the
again and again.
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