Islamic Manners #12
Channel: Hussain Kamani
Series: Hussain Kamani - Islamic Manners
File Size: 38.30MB
Sister Jr. reached out to me saying that one of her relatives was.
So we're really excited about that. And then, as I walked into the message format, I met Nick
and Nora. And Nick said, Hey, I'm looking for Mother Earth. And I'm also interested in accepting Islam too. So not only do we have the benefit of attending our
Tuesday class with all your amazing people, but we have these amazing people with insulated. So I'm really excited. I had a conversation individually, with Janine, and also with Christina, right?
anyone that knows me knows I'm pretty bad at things. And I had a conversation with Nick too, individually, just kind of introducing Islam to them and, and having that, you know, that initial conversation and humbled up lots of 100 data has opened both their hearts and their existing moving forward. And
so what we're going to do is that I will do the shahada with Nick. However, since Janine is related to sister Sonia and she was the one who mentioned it to me today, I thought it would be appropriate and sister, Jenny and shahada has done by sister dunya Inshallah, so I'll do this Gentiles and then we'll pass this Shahada.
I accidentally said,
I thought I'm not telling you what I said. But she's from Saudi. So she definitely understood me. And she was gonna tell you, I mean, I was gonna look that
everyone's gonna continue laughing. So that's why we just saw that there.
So how, what further shadow Java. So make this is actually the easiest of it all is the easiest part. Everything you've done until now all the reading or research. That's the real work. This is a ceremony and it's a testimony that we do publicly just so the community can join you in this great day. And also, for you as well. It's a moment of joy to share this, this place that you're at, with your your Muslim family, with those of us that are here. So I'm going to pass the mic over to you. And then I'm going to peace out in every statement.
period after me. We'll say the English together. And then everyone in this congregation will congratulate and then we'll pass it over to Jimmy and give her the opportunity to do the same thing. Right. Okay.
Allah, wa, wer, s s Hello. And Mohamad
up do who to work for Su blue
gray that was awesome that was awesome. Your epics really good pronounciation is on point I was a little intimidated that you hadn't practices before you came here
Alright, so that was awesome so we're going to English together to be English is I testify
that there is no God
but Allah and I testify
that Muhammad peace be upon him he's His servant
and Messenger awesome
Okay, so that's one done then yeah, he can take the second part
What should I do? What should you
that there is no.
Okay, folks, before we start our class, we're going to get like a three minute recess and feel free to come and greet them and congratulate the central star class easier for me.
Mind folks, give us a few minutes and we'll start
With the boys here
so we can get Started
as we know from the left
Hamdulillah he woke up out
Sinara so you were talking
earlier in Ischia was having left the ameba.
We were just talking about janazah a few moments ago. So today we read the chapter of Jacob the Fatah what Daramola Gardner's book, condolences and breaking unpleasant news. This is a very timely chapter to cover. Considering that we're are we are in the middle of a pandemic that's unprecedented during our lives. And
the sad news that's flying around the community seems to never end.
Before I came for this class, I received a phone call from a family that's very dear to me. And the daughter, she said to me that
my father probably won't live too long. The doctors have stopped all intervention.
And he wrote in his will sia in his bequest that when he passes away that he asked that you lead his funeral prayer.
And it's been very heavy on my heart.
This hearing that mirrors and knowing that this person has more or less come to terms with his life coming to a closing
there's so much pain to go around.
And that's where we as a family, beings humanity, need to be there to support each other in these difficult times.
It's just not a issue of Muslims issue of human beings. So much pain in the world. So here's a couple Fatah Baba. Allah Allah talks about how just to break sad news to someone what are the advocates for that? How do you go around passing on condolences.
condolences and breaking unpleasant news.
When you have to break the undesired news of a tragic accident, or the death of a close relative, or friend, it is appropriate that you break the news in such a way, so as to lessen its impact and make it as mild and gentle as possible. For example, in the case of death, you may say, recently, I learned that so and so has been seriously evil and his condition worsen. Today, I heard that he passed away, may the mercy of Allah be with him. If you look at the way he phrases that statement, keep in mind shuffle the football, but he's just offering like an option, because when things are rough, people get flustered and they're not sure what to say, what do you do you go to Google and
you search, how do you pass on condolences. So he's saying one, one thing that you want to keep in mind is that you want to break the news in a way where you minimize the impact on the person who's listening to it, because at the end of the day, there will be emotional trauma. And you want to try to minimize that emotional trauma. So they can continue on with being, you know, contributing members of society that they have strengthened and that they have energy in them to continue to do good. You don't want to suck it all out of them. So minimize that trauma, there will be trauma, because it's sad news at the end of the day. So how does he phrase it here? Recently, I learned that
so and so has been seriously ill, and his condition has worsened. So right there, you're kind of setting the foundation that this news that I'm about to share with you, is based off of this, that this person was already sick. And then the second part is today, I heard that he passed away, and then ending with the loss of more dollars, mercy be on that person? Yes. Begin by giving the main person question, Do not break the news of a death by saying, Do you know who passed away today? This, this is not like winning the lottery.
Do you know who won the lottery today, and people start guessing because it's a cool thing to do. You're talking about someone passing when you say to someone, do you know who passed away today, if you're really shocked about it, what's the first thing that's gonna pop in their mind?
Their own parents, they're probably gonna think you're talking about their mom, they're, they're probably gonna think you're talking about their dad, you might be talking about the guy who used to make breakfast for you and you're eight years old.
still sucks. But when you kind of pose it like that the person listening, oh my god, maybe my son died, maybe my daughter died. Maybe my wife died sooner to be very direct with what's going on.
Listeners and prompts them to express the worst, namely, that the death involves someone close to them who may have been sick or old at that time. Rather, if you commenced by mentioning the name of the deceased. This will soften the impact of the news, reducing the listeners apprehension while the music is still being conveyed. convey the news of fire drowning or a car accident, etc. In a similar fashion. Prepare the listener for the news in a way that minimizes its impact mentioned the name or names of the effective person or persons in a diplomatic way. And don't shock your companions or relatives when conveying to them such news. Some people have weak hearts, and such bad news may
cause great harm, which may even lead to them fainting or collapsing. If it is necessary to convey such news, choose the appropriate time. Don't convey such a news at a meal before going to sleep or during the illness. Wisdom and tactfulness are the best qualities to handle such a situation. Therefore, it's also wise that the one who conveys this news is someone other than someone that's respected someone in the community who people look up to because that person can also then embrace that individual, if needed, hug them. Give them some elderly wisdom, coaching them and guiding them and in doing defeat and encouraging them to be patient in this difficult moment.
He points out here that don't convey the news when someone is about to have a meal because they won't have that meal. And it's important that they need to eat before they receive such news. It may throw them off and they probably won't eat for an extended period and that one meal can go a long way. Similarly, if someone's about to go to sleep, let them get their sleep.
Someone is ill, maybe it's wise not tell them I I shared with you guys one or two weeks ago the incident of a family that reached out to me where the husband and wife are both seniors and they were both hospitalized.
did a COVID and one passed away in the family was asking that it's time for burial? Do we even tell our father that our mom died, because we're worried that if we tell him he's not going to, he's going to lose hope he's going to stop trying. And we'll lose other parent as well. So you have to time things. This is where finesse comes in this word cat comes in, this is where wisdom comes in. Sometimes it's a good idea to just, instead of going alone, going with a few people will shoot off and speak seeking consultation from one another that what's the best way to handle this situation. The last thing you want is someone young experience, breaking such heavy news on someone trying to
just really make it about them, and destroying the individual who the news is being conveyed to. That happens a lot where people are conveying us instead of making it about the one that passed or instead of focusing on the one who's receiving the sad news, they find a way to make it about themselves, you know,
and that's obviously a very selfish thing to do. It's a very trashy, selfish thing to do. Go ahead.
The duty of expressing
a relative or close friend of one of your relatives or friends happens to die Hastin to offer condolences, you should share in his grief for that is the right of your family member, friend or fellow Muslim. If you can, you should attend the funeral and the burial at the cemetery. This is a highly rewarding gesture and effective and stern admonition and the lesson reminding you of the inevitable and the entire creation. A poet addressed the deceased person and said, while you were alive you gave me many a lesson, reminder and admonition. Today your death provides me with the most important lesson Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, a Muslim follows his fellow Muslim
wife writes, replying a greeting, visiting that URL attending the funeral. So
he might have a whole long time recording that resume loss, little mobile writing instead of set, visit the sick and follow the funeral procession, it will remind you of the hereafter. So previously, he spoke about some attributes and how to break that news. Maybe the person that you're talking to, considering that the news could cause them to faint. Ask them to take a seat.
Give them some water before the before you give them news. Make sure that their family is around them in that moment. They have a brother or sister relative just there in the room when you break that news. So they feel comfort immediately and they don't feel lonely. Now, when you do convey this condolence to the other person that sounds once passed away or so and so sad thing has happened. Try to be there by their side, in what follows. In the case of someone passing away, attending the funeral prayer, if the family wishes, you can also be a part of the washing of the body or the shrouding on that person.
When a person attends a funeral, when you attend the shrouding, or the washing of the body,
you're paying your respect to the person who's passed. But you're not doing it just for them.
You're also doing it for yourself. Because it's an ultimate reminder that at the end of the day, every human being has to leave.
As the there's a famous story that a person wants went to a graveyard and on a gravestone it said, yeah, well if they find the Calvary laughs at a job and Emory will emcee come to miss rock? Why then Takumi
Yeah, well to find the cover you are the one who stands at my grave, not at our job. And Emily don't make Don't be an amazement at what's happened to me. Bill MC come to Mitla because yesterday I was like you I was standing at someone else's great well for them to call me three and tomorrow you should be like me. Because the reality of life is that every human being that stands on this soil of earth will one day be very.
And today you carry someone tomorrow someone will carry you through the lesson Allah Azza wa sallam found honor.
He found a lesson in every human being that was sick. And there's a famous narration that once the Prophet of Allah so Allah, Allah is in the cinema sitting with the companions.
And there was a person whose body was being taken for barrier.
So the Prophet of Allah stood up.
One of the companions, they said, O Messenger of Allah, where I'm standing up, it's a Jewish man. And between the Jewish community of Madina, Munawwara and the Muslims, there was a lot of friction and it wasn't just a matter of two different faiths. It was a matter of betrayal and
Politics. There were agreements that were signed and they will be paid and signed and betrayed and assassinations and murder and, and, you know, just destroying, you know, the dignity and honor of the people that lived in Madina Munawwara there were many crimes committed.
Yet also the law said Allahu alayhi wa sallam. So this person said, I'm asking you ever low are you standing up to the Jewish man?
Maybe you said, Allah said, Is he not a soul?
In this moment, right now there is a soul returning back to its Lord.
Because that person is from another faith or maybe you might even have rivalry with that individual some hostility. Does that prevent you from being able to see the lesson that's before?
So when you walk past the graveyard in your day, your dry fast, there's no need to be super cynical or sad about it. But you know, it doesn't need to overtake you but there is a moment of reflection. There's a moment of just looking at him and realizing that if you continue to ignore that, the material world will continue to consume you and therefore draw you away from your journey to Allah subhana wa.
When a person just glances at the graveyard and as the Prophet of Allah taught us to say Assam on April Yeah, Dr. affilate Salam, ala Camilla data on me until the nasaga. In sha Allah, you can knock a boon, nessa Lafayette, Allah Allah that You know, said I'm on a comb Yeah, that peace be with you, oh, home of the believers.
You or those you are the Forerunners and then ahead of us and soon we will join you. We ask God to shower safety and peace upon you and us. That's a lot I do not want to. In that moment. There is just a quick connection with what lies beyond the world. What lies above the soil. There's a there's a moment of connecting with what happens when a person leaves this field. And this is something very important and
chronic, Allah azza wa jal says,
and Hakuna Matata Katha
Hatter's Ottoman Naka
and Hakuna Matata Catholic that your greed and hunger for abundance to conclude is more and more than half of it has destroyed you have desert the middle of it until you visit the graveyards. That's when your eye opens up and you begin to think. And you begin to ask yourself that I've accomplished so much for this world. But what am I really prepared for the hereafter? As I was mentioning earlier that the truth is, everyday we're hearing some news that someone still has enough so and so. So So father in law, mother in law, mother, father, it's a very dark world that we live in a lot of relief, all those that are sick. So he shares this beautiful line of poetry, which are
translated in English, when you were alive, you gave me many lesson reminded reminder and admonition today, your death provides me with the most important lesson. And that is putting them on it Have fun, we have a file which will be covered generally, from there, everything will perish. Everything on this road will perish. Every love every promise, every commitment, every handshake of loyalty will cease to exist.
And that's what a Muslim believes in that ultimately, I shall return back to my Lord and the one being that has with me before I even gained my own cognitive abilities. And before I had consciousness with my God, who guided me to where I am, and he will continue to be with me.
Long after everyone leaves you
can Luminati have fun way over which will be
So this is what he says that today your death provides me with the most important lesson. As soon as when a person dies, what's the statement we say?
In Illa Illa, here, Roger, that the journey of this person has come to an end.
The Beloved of Allah has returned to His Beloved, because in not in not Allah we belong. That's where it all started from. He sent us the vulnerable, weak, incapable of communication, and then gave us and gave us it gave us and then now that the human being reaches the peak of their time in this world, when nearly Raggio now it's time to turn back to Allah.
Sometimes a person that leaves is righteous, and they lived a life that was true the legacy and impact of the hearts of hundreds of 1000s or 1000s of people. And when that person leaves hearts are crushed, or hurt, then there are some people
who really didn't have a legacy, selfish human beings or maybe nameless human beings. Nameless isn't a bad thing. Because you can be
connected to Allah meaningless. And that's actually not a bad thing, much houden fill up model from December, and no one to the people of the earth but very well known by those in heaven. That's a cool thing actually.
But then there's other side where there are people who have lived selfish lives. Selfish, meaning they just, you know, taking care of their worldly needs and doing that nine to five, and haven't found any purpose or meaning beyond that the world could fall into ashes as far as they were concerned. They couldn't care about justice in the world or in their own community. They couldn't care about the state of the refugees in their own communities because they got that pizza on the weekend and they're eating their you know, their their salads during the week, so life is perfect. There's nothing to worry about. That's not what Islam teaches us. Islam teaches us to care for
humanity and care for your Muslim brethren specifically, like you would care for your own Minoo in a garage or in Wahid in English that guy couldn't do what he needs to get out. So if data will know Muslims are like one body
it's the guy I know who is the calculator if the AI hurts an entire body, is it a nice way inish the guard also it's like a condition if the head hurts the whole body is at ease because it's one family. It's one bottle. Muna Patagonian, you should do Bible. Believers are like a fat like a structure company. You shouldn't do Baba Baba one part of it supports the other part. And that's why we see in our communities that we have fundraisers for people that are in you know, Yemen and Syria and Palestine and Africa and Asia and the whole world, even in America. And the Muslim community is always trying to be at that forefront and supporting and we should because we're a family
sort of law so the law My name is Sam says that how closely are Muslim Johansson? There are five rights that every Muslim has on the other
replying the greeting visiting the URL attend the funeral. So he lists out some of them are all so here by the way wondering why it's happened to see honestly sit and wonder why happened Muslims in the Hudson clearly he's referring to the humps and when it's in behind the Muslim and from them. I've used it a lot. Islam says that.
Responding to the setup, when a Muslim says salam, Salam is a greeting that we have, and when a person says that it's your responsibility to respond back to it because when a person greets you, in that moment, they're humbling themselves in that moment, they're being vulnerable in that moment. They're expecting love and kindness from you. They're expecting for you to reciprocate what they're offering in that moment. And if you cold shoulder them that's gonna shatter their heart and we don't do that. When someone goes out of their way to be kind to you.
You show them kindness in return. Well, you know how you can be the heat and the high ups and I'm gonna overdo Allah azza wa jal says that when you are greeted with a greeting, then match that person or go even better give them a nicer greeting. Someone says I said I'm Anakin try to say Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah or even greater water, Catherine. So when a person greets you,
in that moment, you put all of your differences aside, you respond back to that person? This is what we call responding to set up visiting the URL Yeah, I didn't leave on a person is sick. We covered this in our previous class that Islam we encourage people to visit the URL. It's from the matters of Islam. But also the law said a long while ago,
there was a young man in Madina Munawwara who was Jewish
and he used to kind of joke and talk and had a relationship with a sort of last
resort Allahu Allah was seldom heard that the kid was sick. And he his health was deteriorating.
So the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came to visit this young child, who was on his deathbed. Nobody said Allahu Allah, he was checked up on him. And then he said to this young man, that
why don't you just accept Islam, you know, it's truth. So he said to the Prophet of Allah, that I'm actually interested in accepting Islam, but I won't do it unless my father grants grants me permission.
His father was a Jewish man Jew and dedicated his life to the faith. So the young man in that moment, he looked over his shoulder and spinal.
So the father said to his son, about passing,
that'll be listen to whatever he says, Muhammad do what he says, in this young boy before passing away said I should wonder in the law, why should
he other than Marines by rasool Allah, ah.
The other poet he says, Mikkel Jaya Dum terra cotta mo Kenichi
Did you hear
Nicola Jaya Dum Derriford mocha ha that I breathed my last while I lie at your feet? Yeah, he think he has to be here on the zoo here. This is all I ever dreamed up. This is all I ever desire. That email Raj get to the point. Your Night of Ascension was for you to reach the office of a law, the law of the column Allah honored to you by taking you on Madame ascension. Mary nanorods Timothy, they are not acquitted. But my honoring was not an ascension it was descending down to your feet on Hamas in
honor of his young man. And what was as a result of this was a result of his mulato, his merhaba his respect for us. So the lesson was,
this is why if a lot of it gives you a chance to be in the company of righteous people, senior wise people never let go. Because this world is full of a lot of company, but most of it is trash company. Very few people will offer you companionship, in which they actually have you think about where you are, where you've come from, and where you're going. There are few people in the world, because companionship will legitimately add value to realize that every time you sit with them, you almost feel like you haven't had an interaction like this in years.
So when you have those moments, when you find those people, they're there, they're all through the world. You just have to seek them out. When you find them you link on you hold on to those people because each of those interactions could only make you a better person. So for this young man, he had the honor of interacting with lots of
visiting the ill and attending the funeral too.
When you go to a funeral,
and not too many people are there in the funeral it hurts.
And the reason is, because if you are the relative of the one that's just passed away, you begin to ask yourself
that what impact did my relatives even have? Why is no one here does no one really care?
My mother was a convert to Islam.
the earlier part of her life, my mother and father lived in Atlanta, Georgia, in the suburbs.
My oldest brother Han,
he drowned, he died.
My mother never returned back to that state for the rest of her life is too hard.
She actually prohibited us of ever saying his name. Because it was too heavy on her. Makes sense. A mother losing her child she was still new to Islam. Allah tested her like this.
I never talked about my mother's passing to my mother father, because I knew that it wasn't worth it. It was too much Chronicle.
However, when I visited Ohio, Cincinnati, Ohio,
there was an uncle there that I met, he came to me after Joe muscle, and I knew he lived there. He said to me that your brother, your oldest brother was very dear to me.
And I hadn't spoken to anyone about my brother. I didn't. He didn't talk. We don't talk about a mouse.
So he said to me, I was one of the six people that was present the day that your brother was buried. I was there that day.
said we couldn't find a plot for him to be buried. There was no casket to bury this young boy. He was six, seven years old.
What we're gonna bury him in who all knew this was in the 60s 70s 80s fingers in the 80s. Actually, early 80s Muslim community was so weak there was no one there. So we jimmied a coffin, put a few planks of wood together and then loaded your brother's body in there. And we buried and I think that was the first time in my life. I actually heard the story of Maryland years.
Every time I go to Atlanta, I go to visit my devil to get set up. Because that's the hot tub that we have. He never saw me. I never saw him. But at the end of it, it's a hook that you go visit your family members, if you have that. And I asked my father when he said that, how did it feel? And he said it felt very lonely.
Because my family was never a growing up. We were never part of a big community. I was born in Elizabeth town, Kentucky. Right. So he said there was no recognition for us. We were never known by anyone. We were the family that kind of was lost in between the cracks and I know what that means and I know what it feels like.
And he would cry and say to me that no one was there today my fantastic. No one there teach me how to wash his body with no one on there to teach me how to do cover no one there to teach me how to bury him. He said it was a very lonely moment. And that's the day that I learned that
there are so many people in our community. I'm from
those families who don't have a rich standing in the community.
But when you see people who are kind of in those corners of society and give them a little embrace a little hug, tear them up a little see a joke or two that you might make a smile, that smile is exactly what they need.
That's why in Islam, we have this concept of Dr. Jenner is
not to be redundant. But if I may say, my mother from Allah when she passed away as well, she passed away in a foreign land I shared with you guys. She was traveling, she had a sudden death six years ago. My brother and I, when we went there, there was no one there to bury her either. The two of us, no one to carry her body because we didn't know anyone there. So we carry her selves. And I remember thinking to myself, it's Allah. Had she passed away in America. I have so many friends, students, and one of all gathered together for my mother's burial. Here I'm in this foreign land and there's no one here to even stand in her burial. Her janazah was led after Juma Sana
and I remember going to the Imam of the masjid and I said to him,
I've never asked to lead a prayer in my entire life.
I've never asked for leadership in my life.
This is the one time I'm going to ask you, let me lead this one prayer. It's my mother's and
so there's only so originally he said to me, we can't be a policy in
the forum, foreign country. Everyone has their own ways of doing things. And he said, it's a Jamia masjid and you know, it's not wasn't a small mission. It was a very big one. He said, that's our policy. We can't have anyone lead us one of our imams are on on staff.
It was still 45 minute left 45 minutes left to the janazah because we can't do that.
So I remember sitting next to my mother's body, she was in the on the structure next to us. And I was sitting there making dua to Allah making a lot of Eliza Allah. She dedicated her life, hoping that her children will serve the dean and carry on. I have reached that point where I'm serving the beam. And she never had any ceremony. No one knows her name, no one even recognize her face if she showed up to a gathering. But the one gift that I know that she would be very proud of as if her son Linda Janaza Allah make this happen.
Well, before he would get up to deliver the demo, why he came to me and said, you can meet it.
And I was in tears, and I said a lot.
But sometimes a lot closes the door temporarily. Just to see how much you really want it. And where do you go when that door closes? Do you go away from him? Or do you go towards it?
So in Islam, we have this concept of being there for people when family members lost somebody dies.
Be there for people, my friends. One thing my teacher would say to me
he would say
that be regular and visiting the graveyard because most people forget each other.
So when you go to the graveyard and you greet people there and you might say two words at their graves, it gives them some companionship.
See Sheffy saw this one, no long data from the author of the famous CFO article on multiple volumes of perceived commentary. He says that my father one day said to me
that modernity Bob Novak distributable data that's
that after people die they forget each other very quickly.
My request to you my Your son is don't forget me to
Mr. Sophie service, London, Milan, tada was a giant, master of many sciences of Islam. He said, After that day, I made the NIA that I would never go to sleep without reading passage of a peon and sending the report to my phone. This is something that's common with tackles.
And I would read some Quran and pass the reward onto not only 100 Most of them that I have are in favor of Islamic law be delighted.
And he was a Hanafi jurists himself.
So may Allah subhana, WA Tada, granite stone fifth to also
be there for the living and also for the day.
Right? He can be there. Go ahead.
offering condolences looks like
so we'll wrap up here in sha Allah. And Allah wills will continue next week. Actually next week. We're off.
The week after we'll start again. What sort of law