Islamic Manners #10
Channel: Hussain Kamani
Series: Hussain Kamani - Islamic Manners
File Size: 42.25MB
Episode Transcript ©
Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate and at times crude. We are considering building a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system. No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.
How many Latin worker firms laminate
Ischia was hard to remember,
we continue with the book of Shehab, the FATA Bovada himolla data in
they read from page 51 respect of parents
respect of various, observed complete respect and reverence to your father and mother, where they are or they are worthy of your consideration. A man came close to full body
who is the most worthy of my
answer here, your mother, your mother, your mother, then your father, then the closest to you and most
so, you ended up with
three accountant that his father related to what I
saw a man walking.
He asked him, I was elated.
He is my father.
So he did
not walk on stage until he says, Don't call him but
he met him
as related as
like I said, in a medical
he suddenly stood up for a long while.
When he was asked why he did so, he entered my mother came to ask for something, since she was standing isolated out of respect, when she left I sat down to
the rear deputy, all those
is part of assume that respect for persons. An either
a leader, an elder and the Father is considered rude that event causes father by mistake.
At the end of the book automatically law title
says trimester parents is an obligatory but it is awkward is only easy, or the one who almost makes it such kindness needs to be humbled, to speak to them politely to look at them with love and respect to speak in a tone that does not surpass theirs, unless they are part of here you to give them complete access access to your own world and to offer them the best of your injury.
One should not walk ahead and want to hear more than one speak, firsthand of what it
One should try one's utmost loyal, upsetting them, and you should seek their pleasure as much as possible. Pleasing one's parents is one of the most virtuous acts one must accept to respond to all of one's parents. If one is engaged, engaged in another,
one should shorten it and respond to immediately. One should only express kind words.
In return, the parents should assist the child visit never be unkind to them. By the parents being more accommodating, they understand they will be assisting their child and to be obedient. For me when it comes to fulfilling the inevitable loss of data. It is only with the assistance almost out of that people can have a focus.
So here we see in this brief chapter, shift of the
talks about the importance of being respectful to your parents. While we speak of Islamic manners, and we talked about how to be kind to your guests and how to be kind to your host, and how to dress appropriately when greeting someone at the door.
It would be inconsiderate if we didn't talk about those who are most deserving of our other than our kindness. And that is our parents.
In Islam we have great importance given to children while being caring and loving to your parents. In the Quran, Allah subhanho wa taala. When talking about obedience to parents, he uses the word son, or really widely daily salah. Welcome aboukir Allah taboo in LA Yahoo. Meanwhile you daily, sir.
And similarly, in multiple places, this is just one sided. But if you look at the IRR last Parata reminds us of His command to the people. When he saw him. He said to them as well, what will Why did they say, sir means excellence, giving something your best.
The challenge that lies with obedience to parents is an intricate and interesting one.
Most folks you'll meet, have no problem with being loving and kind to their parents. But their big qualm their big complaint is, we aren't given the opportunity to respect and love parents on a standard that we believe
are something that we view to be appropriate. There is something that is pushed upon us and isn't appreciated either. So what that means is out of kindness, someone wants to do something to please their parents. The complaint is that when I do this, it's always viewed to be too little too small to short.
There is an appreciation there.
If you want to build love and any relationship, and you want the best to come out of it.
It's a two person thing.
Both parties have to engage equally.
When children see that their parents are selfless. When children see that their parents are loving, kind, gentle, welcoming, accepting, when they see that their parents appreciate them for the small things they do, not just the big gifts that come in the form of a $10,000 gift or a car or home, the small things, the cup of water that's offered or a seat that's forsaken, for the sake of the parent, when children see that their parents appreciate that. That appreciation that sugar from parents, in my humble opinion, and also, from what I've seen, becomes the fuel that then gives birth to obedience and love from the child's heart.
When you talk to young folks, they say that we we've only experienced abuse from our parents. We've only seen that our parents are rough with us. They're harsh with us. They say it's with good intent. That as you all know, with younger folks, intent isn't only what builds them, it's also what they see what they hear. When I look at the Muslim community around, it really hurts me to say this. But every other persons that I see carries some significant trauma they've experienced from their parents in their life or the elders in their life, but are too shy to speak of it because they're worried that in Islam, they would be sent off to eternal hell.
And this is a very fine line to walk. At the end of the day. Respect for parents is something that's very high up on the list of commandments of Islam. We look at the wisdom that not the man parted upon his son. And he said to them that you will obey your children you will obey your parents. And when Jaha Carla and Rasheeda De Molay silica the I will find out today OMA pasatiempo Macedonia, Marfa even if they try to push a coup for the agenda of disbelief on you, you won't obey them in that way you will continue to be kind and loving to them. Similarly, in the Quran, Allah azza wa jal says while filling homage and not have good limina Rama in May of Lagonda in Kibera, huduma,
Oklahoma, if one of them reaches an old age, or the second read as an old age, then do not even say off to them,
and lower before them your wings of kindness, the loving and forbearing and forgiving to them. But it still doesn't take away from that trauma. How does a person engage in a relationship that they've experienced so much trauma from sometimes that comes in the form of constant down talking other times it comes in the form of
over the top control, sometimes it comes in the form of just straight up verbal abuse other times, it's in the form of setting very high expectations, and it causes a person to crumble in particular, in a society where people are taught to fight for their liberties and freedom is key. There really isn't much of an incentive. And this is one of the reasons why I believe people are willing to walk away from religion actually, because their connection to religion is what their parents taught them. And they're so first
triggered by the situation at home that when it's time for them to walk away from their parents, because that's what they believe needs to be done. And I think that's something up for discussion. But nonetheless, they've decided that I have to walk away. So walking away from my parents means walking away from everything associated with them, which also means walking away from the
I've spoken to imams in our community who complain of similar situation, that the trauma they carry from their parents, it anchors them down till today,
the Imams of our community are complaining that our marriages are stressed. Now, if this is the state of community leaders, I can't imagine what it's like for people on the ground. So when I talk about obedience to parents, I believe the first part of this discussion needs to be catered to people like ourselves. I speak to myself as a parent,
that the only way you're going to get obedience and love and you're going to get this chronic standard of obedience from children, is if you offer them the chronic standard of parenting,
if you offer them the prophetic standard of love,
because good begets good. But if you don't put the right fuel into the tank, you can't expect the same yield of energy, you're not going to get the same thing out in return.
On the other hand,
for young folks, it's important to understand that as life goes on, you become aware of certain realities that you may have not experienced earlier in your life. I think that's just the cycle of life. The more you climb the ladder, the more clear your view becomes of the streets and everything surrounding you.
You become aware of certain responsibilities and certain restrictions that you have. When you're young you expect the world to be picture perfect. What you the image that you build in your mind, you begin to wonder why doesn't everyone live by this image? why don't my parents parent the way I'm thinking they should parent? Why are my friends the way I picture them to be? So everything needs to be picture perfect. But as you progress in life, you begin to realize that human beings are a, they are a combination of their own circumstances and the way they interact with one another is highly influenced by that. So then in life, as you move on, you find the soft spot for your parents,
because you find yourself facing similar circumstance, ship similar circumstances. And then you begin to ask yourself, I don't know how they did it. I don't know how they went through what they went through. So you begin to cut them some slack. Similarly, when your parents get older, you have to understand that their ability to reason at the same level as you as a young person may be different. The way someone at a particular age reasons is very different from another person that another way. Ultimately, remember that no matter how many ups and downs you have in a relationship, it is absolutely imperative that children are respectful to their parents, and loving and kind to
whatever capacity they can. I think that's where a good conversation comes in. Where you sit with your parents and talk with them. But look, this is my capacity. This is what I can do. Financially visitation wise being with you, loving you, you know, being present, this is what my capacity is having that conversation because otherwise, you're just going to constantly miss each other. Expectations are very different from the deliverables, you need to have them somewhat in line with one another.
Being respectful to your parents as a sort of loss that along with a wisdom tells us is one of the ways that you gain the pleasure of a loss.
In one rewire, Rasulullah sallallahu sallam said that being respectful to your parents, having the proper manners and etiquettes when interacting with him, is a way to increase your risk. Similarly, the prophet Elijah Selim says that mean increase your risk means Allah will give you butterflies he'll give your blessings and earn the money that you were. And similarly, if you saw certain promises that Allah azza wa jal will give you a longer life. The scholars debate whether this means literally you'll get more years in your life or you'll have more Baraka in the limited life that you have in this dunya. Either way, you have a longer life.
When you have a tense situation between two people, someone needs to take about to get rid of that tension.
expecting elders and seniors to do that, in my humble opinion isn't a call.
If there is a tense situation, the one that is younger should take the bow first.
You shouldn't wait for your father or mother to call you because you had a big argument and have you spoken to or spoken to them for a few days.
These are long audios to them gives the Muslim permission to to exercise a three day cooldown period. Now you
Hello Leo Muslim, to Rahu.
Among Hydra falcata Ratan Samatha,
it isn't permissible for a Muslim to forsake their brother for more than three days and whoever does so, and dies in that state will enter into the fire of hell.
You should be the one that humbles yourself. At the end of the day, never forget the sacrifices that parents make for children. Many of those sacrifices may have occurred long before you had consciousness, so you may not have experienced them or understood them. I was once teaching a Koran class to young kids. This was when I was in England, these young tiny kids 78 year old kids used to put my foot on class. So one day I give them a task. And I said to them, that I want you to go to your parents today. And I want you to ask them to share a story with you of something they did for you, that you have no idea of, write it down, come back to class, share it tomorrow.
And these kids, they came back the next day, and they were reading these stories, and it was a subclass, everyone was tearing up and crying. This one young man talks about how his father I remember the story actually. He said I got injured while playing sports and I was bleeding. My father took me and ran with me in his arms all the way to the hospital.
So my father said to me, I ran with you in my arms all the way to the hospital.
And he looked at his dad and said, Dad, you don't look like you're not going to shake.
So for the kid sees that says I wasn't. I just don't know what got into me that when I saw my child in pain like this, all my pain went away.
You ask a mother, what it's like staying awake nights on nights after giving birth to a child with so much uncertainty in life. In particular, when they're so young.
They don't even let one complaint on about it. Rather than stay awake all night, changing those diapers and cleaning the urine, try to urine on someone in your life and see what they do.
I don't care whose baby it is.
But a mother when her child urinates, there's a 10 second sort of frustration. And she smiles is the child on the flat. This is my baby, she takes a towel and change the diaper with honor. And they put the child in some beautiful clothes and you know, comb their hair and put some fragrance on them and put a clip on them. And then this, my daughter looks beautiful, my son looks beautiful. That's the love of a parent. There's nothing in the world that can compare.
That love is important to discuss. If we're trying to understand how to have proper other for your parents.
Talk about a father who didn't know if he'd be able to pay for the bills, who stayed awake all night, wondering what kind of child his son would turn out to be his daughter would turn out to be
running up and down the city dropping them off and picking them up from school.
Parents do this and they do it without even a single complaint. No complaint at all. That is do it they do. So that's what ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada says, we'll call Rob Bahama, Houma Kamara Bayani Salam, O Allah have mercy on them just as they had mercy on me. When I was young, there are these anecdotes that people share. You know, the anecdote of the father who was sitting on the bench and asked the child, what the name of the bird was. You guys know that story? He pointed out of burdens. And what's that burden? He told me answering all the while that he asked me, What's that burden? You give the answer? And he kept asking me I'm again and again. Finally the son got flustered and got up
and walked off. The father went to the center and said, My son, you walked away from me today? When you were young, you asked me the same question 3040 times and I never want to leave.
How quickly did you give up on you? How fast did you forget?
When a parent takes their child out for a weekly restaurant, meal, not too hard.
Right? They take their child somewhere for a good meal, the parent has fun. They have pride in this that today, I'm going to take my child out, they go there, they ask the child, what do you want. And then that same child, when they get old, they take their parent out to the restaurant, and they order the cheapest food on the anemone.
This is not
this is not
as you get older in life, I'll tell you guys something because I've seen it with my own eyes. You become more vulnerable. Because young people always ask us why are parents so clunky? Where are they so frustrated? Are they always so cranky? All of these things. So I tell them that you have to understand when a person gets old, particularly once they cost that 67 year age, like it's very hard for them. And the reason is because their companions and their peers are now the ones who janazah is being read.
So their safety net of people who they grew up with are leaving.
And reality hits them that one of those days is going to be their janazah their friends decrease their mobility decreases their ability to engage in decreases. Most likely when it comes to social norms. I don't care what part of history you lived in, by the time you're 70 you're not in
anymore, right? You're on the outskirts of the social norms. So you become more and more irrelevant. And then you're sitting at home and you begin to wonder who's going to be by my side? How am I going to find financially provide for myself? Who's going to take me to my doctor's office? Who's going to go pick up the pills for me? Who will look after me? Is there anyone that's going to massage my feet when my feet are hurting? Is there anyone that will bring me a heating pad when I need it for my back? Is there anyone that will bring that
Vicks Vapor Rub and put it on my neck when I have congestion in my throat
and then the nights passed by and no one showing up?
That loneliness is painful reference. It's very painful.
And I know that there's an inconvenience young people, they say I have a busy schedule. I have this going on. I have that going on. But some things are so important that no matter how busy your life is, you must learn to put them on hold to fulfill that responsibility.
And there is no responsibility that's as serious and as intimate as the responsibility of taking care of your parents for rob the home, Homer Kamara by Ernie Seville.
I once spoke to a couple
had gone to visit them. They were in one of those old people's homes. So I had gone to visit them I was sitting with them. And it was a very, it was a nice place they had like they were showing off the coffee machine and the vending machine was really nice. You know, they're kind of giving you the tour of the place. We sat down and I can tell Andi was very heavy in her chest. She was carrying something. So I said to her, tell me what's going on.
She says to me
that, you know, I gave my child everything.
She said you see these wrinkles on my face. My face wasn't always wrinkly. I had beauty once upon a time.
My skin was soft and straight and I had so much beauty. But all of my years of beauty all of my youth I sacrificed all just for my child. If you asked me where did these wrinkles come from? Where did this old age come from? It was all in just doing couldn't love my children, raising them hoping that one day they would become worthy to be members up right members of society.
My husband and I are doctor visits became frequent. Our health became poor. One day we were sitting in our children came in they said mom and dad, we think it's appropriate that we have you admitted into one of these old people's home.
So she said to me that in that moment, my world fell apart. But I didn't want my child to know that they were doing something wrong. Because they wouldn't be able to live with the guilt. So I smiled. And I said to them that your father and I were just talking about this.
we started packing our stuff. She said my child loaded my stuff dropped me off. And when they closed the door to leave, after they dropped off our stuff set us up in the room set us up in the room. When my child was leaving when he closed the door. She says my husband and I went to each other we embrace each other.
Because we realized that we were the only ones there for each other. And this was how our journey was going to end.
I began to think in that moment.
Imagine what would happen to this lady or husband were to die. Imagine what were to happen to this husband if his wife were to die. So much loneliness so much pain for one son. While on the other hand, the kids are wanting not to watch movies and they're enjoying themselves and having a blast out there. That's not right. This is different. This is being ungrateful.
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Yes, he didn't have a mother by his side as he grew up. But we all know them always. You were the beast alone. And he was sort of went to his mother's grave.
And oh my God alone one narrates it he says we were on their way to Mecca. And we took a detour and we stopped somewhere and he said a long while he was said and started crying. He was crying and crying.
So once a hobby asked you out loud, why are you crying? That would be sort of Lafonda he was sent him said that this is where I stood when I buried my mother right there.
By the way, depending on which opinion you take, whether this was at the time of atomic whether this was at the time of a lot in Cabo or whether it was at the time of hydrated without whichever opinion you take and if you saw someone was 55 over
how many years over 50 years have passed why whatever opinion you take because he said that we were coming from Medina to Makkah so there's just a lot which suffered was this, which surprises me saw some 50 years of password but the pain of not having a mother was very shocking. And almost all the Allahu on says not only did he saw some cry, but we cried with
where we talk about on one hand parents stepping up their game and being more kind and loving and being more respectful to their children.
believe this, the more respect and other visual to your children, the more they'll give back to you.
You guys understand,
but at the same time as younger folks, you have to also take the lead and be extra kind and loving to your parents. Break the Cycle of awkwardness.
you know, say things that you've never said before.
If you haven't had the chance in a recent time, just just go to your parents embrace them and tell them that you love them. You should do that. You really should.
You know, when I see someone next to me with a phone and it says on their caller, Id mother tears coming to my eyes, because I miss seeing that on my phone.
And I probably will never see that again on my phone ever. That a mother's calling again. Last night, my daughter Leah was in a room
and she was on my bed. So I picked her up and moved it to her mattress. These days. She's insisting on sleeping in my room. So I have a mattress for her next to my bed. So she woke up and she's about my tummy is hurting. I know her tummy wasn't hurting.
So my wife said to me, the only way she's going to go to sleep is if you light on next year. It's like that I lie down next to her. And
I just started making some to offer. I said to her the I'm going to make the why'd you say I mean? She said okay, so I was making law for her. She was saying I mean,
and Allah is my witness. In that moment, my heart became so heavy, so
I was at the brink of tears and to avoid the tears coming up because I wanted her to sleep. I just close my eyes. Because when I was young, my mother this is how she used to put us to sleep.
She would say she didn't. She trusted the guava child more than her own. So what she would do is that she would hold my hands I remember I was six years old, she would hold my hands like this and then she would wrap her hands around my hands. And she would say, I'm gonna make you care. Allah loves otherwise children.
This is the love of a mother.
Now in that relationship, other ups and downs of course there
are there moments for I have contentions with my mother. Absolutely there. Were there moments where there was frustrations absolutely there were there. But I'll never forget the last statement I heard from my mother in my life. I was at the airport, I went to drop her off. The last statement I heard of my ears for my mother. Before she crossed security. I went to drop her off at the airport, she was on her way to Alma. And I embraced her one last time before she crossed security. And she whispered in my ears once she had tears in her eyes. She said in order though she said better. Okay, borrowers may be coming to you with
that if I failed you and your upbringing forgiving. These were the last words I heard from her. And it taught me that a parent's love for their child is such that allow them maybe when she was dying, the last saw last month she had was her own children.
So for those of you who have your parents, you respect them, love them, forgive them. Put all bygones by guard, let them be gone. Let them fall aside.
If you can have you have the honor, if you have opportunity to go and kiss your mother's beautiful forehead, then do that.
I would even say kiss their feet if you
kiss your father's hand, by a gift for them. Embrace them, that your father know what kind of role model he has. How much strength you find.
If people in our society can't respect their parents,
this society is going to come crumbling down.
Are you guys listening to me? And I know there's always gonna be a but if someone's gonna say that. The reality is that no matter how many ifs there are, you have to overcome those views. You have to overcome those buts. Now there are these straight, you know singular cases where you have extreme abuse, sexual abuse, drug abuse, outright crazy physical abuse. I'm not talking about those things. If you're in that kind of a relationship, there's a whole different approach to that. Are you guys listening, but we don't talk about the fringe cases when addressing issues that relate to the masses, as they say, a shadow candidate Another con model. We talk about the the general rulings of
the person. So here's Shackleton fatawa data. While discussing this he brings forth some narrations first he brings anyway Ahmadiyya Muslim men above
my openness be Firstly, it's a habit who is most worthy of my good companion. So to be awesome said what?
Your mother and then your mother and then your mother, showing us the importance and then some other than your father.
Similarly, he shared the interaction of the law
with another person that he saw a man and he said, Who is this and he said, as my father said, He taught him three, that when you deal with your father, don't walk ahead of him walk behind you. It's a small thing. But it matters. See, these small gestures help build your worldview of
if you let go of you know how people say, but it's only walking, who cares? If I'm one step ahead, or one step behind, it matters. Where you stand matters. Have you not seen how military soldiers are trained? Every detail matters. Why? Because it builds their mindset. Right? How a celebrity or a political leader will even approach a stage and how they'll standard where they'll stand and what time they'll come and how everyone else is going to be seated and where they're going to be seated. All of these formalities matter to you.
Right, now, that's a little extra, at least with your parents, or whatever your loved one is saying, behind
comes to our car example, your parents shouldn't be sitting in the backseat, they should be defensive.
I used to say this to my wife all the time, when my mother was alive, my father is still mother. But uh, whenever we would go in the car, I would say to her that I'm driving the car, my request is that you should take the backseat and let my mother
because she's more senior and older in age. And at the end of the day, she's my mother, if you're driving, I'll sit in the back, I have no problem. But my mother should be the one sitting in the passenger seat. My father should be the one that's sitting there. And not as my father, your parents are the same. If we're going somewhere and her father or mother sitting in the car, I request or maybe you should sit in the back or if you want to drive or sit in the back. But the elders should always be in the front. This is a matter of other. The second thing he says is
do not sit until he says when you go to a party or a gathering and there's so many people are saying hi to you, and they're high fiving you don't get caught in your social life. First, make sure your parents are comfortable. Find them a good seat, make sure they're sitting with people who they can enjoy the gather with, give them a snack or to give them something to drink. If there's no one to socialize with them. Put your friends on hold and sit with your parents first. But make them feel the love, don't abandon them. And similarly, when you go to a party or a gathering, make sure they have their seat first. They're comfortable. And lastly, he says do not call him by his name.
I'm thinking of something I'm not sure if I should share.
Share with you guys.
So someone shared one of these tick tock videos with me. I don't know tick tock or Vine or one of them some kind of short form video. Maybe it's the YouTube version. You know, there was a small video someone sent to me.
It was a prank where it was a collage of planks. And the idea was that these husbands would go to their wives and call them by their name. And the wife would get really angry that Why did you call me by your name you're not supposed to call me by my name was supposed to call me some beautiful attributes, my beloved or whatever it was, you know? So every time it was the same thing, like I would go and get a tarot reading for his wife and he would say his wife's name. And his wife would get really angry. But did you call me by my name? Everyone else can call me that to you. I am this, you know. So I showed it to my wife and she was laughing too. And then I said to her that these
people they get offended by their husband calling them by their name but they don't feel any offense at all when it comes to calling your parents let me
look at the dunya we live in that when it comes to calling you can't call babe by her name or his name I know which one pays for right
you can Laugh all you want to It's okay.
One day you will be irrelevant to
my kids call me out on this all the time.
So you can't call that shift by his name or that *hole by her name. When it comes to your parents call them jackin Sandy all you want to look at the ones that no one cares there anymore. But uh, hold on, I'll put it that reliable radiola 102 by Mohan is another one referred to similarly, Microsoft mere recently from Asana. He then shares a narration at my Malik that once he was giving das teaching them WAPA and his mother came he stood up on a respect for his mother, out of respect for his mother used to them. And then there are other examples two, he talks about how you should also open your wealth up for your parents, this is a good way
every child should make a Nia specifically and further emphasized if your parents are not working in are in financial need. They may not say it but you need to learn to read in between the lines. A part of my paycheck should be dedicated to my parents. Now what that portion is, that's a that's for you to figure out. But you should have something that you give to your parents. If you're able adult earns money and brings a paycheck home and has some sort of a savings. You should also take care of your parents give them access to how they spend it is up to them, but give them some money. Right. That way they also feel
joy and pleasure,
financial relief that and hamdulillah now that we're old are, you know, I see this all the time where I have so many young folks that I meet, and I asked them that you contribute back to your parents and they say mom and dad said they don't need it. Who cares? If they said they didn't? You're not, you're not doing it for them anyway, you need it. That's why you need to do it. And I say to the girls, as well, I know culture, this is, this is a sensitive issue, the girls as well. And I'll say to the guys, you know, everyone should be no, I'm not telling you how much to get nothing if $10,000 5000 1000. But give something, if anything learned from your own parents. And I
can't say this on behalf of everyone. But I'm almost sure that majority of you would agree that how many of you know how many of you had parents? Who when you were growing up sent money back home?
Yes. This is besides a bunch of you guys. We saw this right?
There were who writes that their wealth should be shared with other people. Right? And without doubt, parents are the most deserving of that.
The first part that I talked about parents respecting children check out the Fatah talks about that, at the end, he talks about the children respecting parents first and then parents respecting children. I flipped it around in my presentation, because I believe one is a very important discussion to have when feeding when engaging in the second discussion. Yes.
If you're traveling to visit someone work, you're about to receive guests, whether those are your relatives, peers, or friends of a different age, make sure that your hands and socks are clean. And your appearances are so hilarious that he had to say that there was someone must have really done a bad job at receiving guests that should have the foot box, he had to say this. He said, make sure your socks are clean. Make sure your hands are clean. Right? So let's just assume that that's not a problem with you guys and show that when you go to the front door to meet someone, just make sure your presentation is appropriate that you're clean and yours. It doesn't matter if it's your best
friend or even your parents, you know some people they're like, Oh, it's my parents, not a big deal their family, family or not. Anytime you greet someone fix your appearance before you meet them. And I would even say that about the message before you go to the masjid, you know, 20 seconds to make yourself look appropriate. Now, it's not for the sake of attracting anyone's attention. You know that whole thing No, boys and girls trying to get each other's eyes at the masjid forget all that garbage. Do it for yourself and for your respect of the masjid and for your respect for Allah subhanaw taala you guys follow what I'm saying? make yourself presentable when you go to the mercy.
Also ensure that your attire the occasion
because I believe this appearance which is ordered, harmonious brings pleasure to the eye. Everyone remind me of the importance of your appearance. But that was certainly a pleasure for me meeting while acknowledging the enjoyment of those Scheffler football
if you ever look at any of his pictures online, he was very well dressed person. You know that Syrian look, these guys, they know how to dress, they just very, everything's synced. Everything's online, everything's very proper machine. So that's how his dress was. And he's giving that advice to everyone that when you meet someone, spend a little time to fix yourself. And if you're not aware of this, go look at the world of financial transactions in business. You know, how particular are they about the way you dress in a corporate environment in a professional environment. When you go to a business meeting, you can't just show up in your shorts and some random t shirt you picked up
because it was funny from a fair, you can't wear that kind of stuff. There is a proper attire, even when you go to meet someone when you go to receive someone at your door. If you just spend a moment and maybe throw on a phone or put an eye on a person Nice shirt on, apply a little fragrance, maybe groom yourself a little bit and then open the door with a smile. The joy that personal experience in that interaction
will yield so much benefit. So much love that if you just came in your PJs, you know just scruffy and dirty with cheese from cheese balls smudges all over your face. They're going to feel like they're looking at a highway energy. They're not going to believe they're looking at Haiwan with an animal they're gonna think you're looking at an animal origin, not some Muslim. good human being. Yes, I saw this in my teachers do
all of them. They all dressed appropriately. Now I'm not talking about expensive garments clean, clean and appropriate. Yes,
in this regard
upon re entry from a German
You're on your way to meet your brother's gonna dress and repair your copies so that you appear the same people as a beauty spot. Allah subhanaw taala does not unlike decency and better and yeah, and the person returned from a trip in particular in those days, because travel was so rough. You will be scruffy covered in dust and dirt, bad body odor hairs all over the place. So don't miss it. A lot of cinema tele sahabat when returning from a trip before going to Medina, everyone take a break? How about we all get changed? How about everyone takes a little shower washes up a little bit. So that way, when we enter into Madina Munawwara we look appropriate. This is the teaching of sort of last
year. So I see this by the way at the airport, too. Sometimes you'll see some people that when they get off the plane, they go to the washroom first. And they'll have like a toothbrush there. And they'll have a little kit to put some fragrance on and groom themselves, and then they walk out. And you can see that Subhanallah that's attention, that attention is good, actually.
There's a difference between being presentable. And then
the other word I'm looking for.
I think the simple way to say it is being over the top. But I think there are other ways that you can also describe that, where one thing is that a person is presentable when they go to work, right. And the other thing is that they're almost doing it to attract other people's attention.
We're not talking about the second one, we're talking about this first one. And there is a difference between the two. Yes.
Materials and likewise present your guests with the present exchange of theirs. Because the exchanging of gifts on joyous occasions adds to it's like a gift. However, symbolic leave behind it
was always our audience second said, which exchanged gifts and thereby
our pious person, predecessors used to leave their host with a gift, even if it was something as simple as
always take a gift. The issue that I see with gifting in our society is that the expectations of gifts are so high, that people are worried that if I give a small gift, people are going to look down on them, that this person was a cheapo lower your expectations and be happy to give whatever you can.
It's going to be a community effort everyone's going to have to do people are going to have to learn to just be happy with small gifts. But when you give someone a gift, it brings butter. I don't know if you guys recall this, but I noticed this with a lot of the elders of the community that they would never go to a gathering without a gift. They'll have a closet full of gifts. You guys were the closet I'm talking about the closet all the sale items. According where they're sets.
You have like a bunch of different items. And by the way, you might laugh at it but I think it's beautiful. I think it's genius. They were considerate of people they might need to Vinci so they have all these gifts. And then the kids got home and they have to scrape off the labels. I did a lot of scraping off of labels when I was young too.
Okay, so just do your share and contribute back to humanity. Right. And then those gifts are offered marhaba This is a big hug don't hug this awesome says give gifts to one another. And Allah subhana wa Tada will increase you in love for one another to
I noticed that among our machines, it was common for them that when you would visit them, they would give you a letter, small letter fragrance bottles, small tiny one. I remember our shift when he would go to my one of my teachers, he would buy a lot of
small tiny ones, and then he would bring them back and anyone that would come to visit him you would just give them one and say blog that has McLaughlin, another one of my teachers. He what he would do is I didn't study with him formally, but I view him as a teacher, someone that I've benefited a lot from this his company. So he whenever I go to meet him, he always gives me a pen. And he gives me a pen for every one of my family members. My father, my brother and my sisters and independence inscribe in need of your loss. Make dua for me something like that. Something along those lines he has inscribed, and every time I go, he gives me this pen, and I have a whole stack of them sack of
them at home.
I have a small little cupboard at home, which has its little bottles that were given to me by my size throughout the years. Over the past decades. They get a tomato I keep it at home. I'm a big fan of tomato baraka and I believe that these are all their gifts are baraka from I have a tomato and they're from Sheffield is
also from Sheffield and some of the other very dear people to me, but they give these gifts and I keep them as memories that these are people who showed love to us. So we should always make dua for them too. So he says even as something as simple as any swag, okay folks with that will conclude here. We pray that Allah subhanho wa Taala grant is still 50 to live by pathetic character makes us people with forgiveness and forbearance, and that Allah subhanaw taala inspires our hearts with haba in removes all
This jealousy, hatred, animosity and awkward from our society, awkwardness from our society. What sort of love without
a ceremony come to light Oh