Married Life Golden Advice

Hasan Ali


Channel: Hasan Ali

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The speakers discuss the importance of marriage and finding one's own happiness, as well as avoiding a "married" feeling and finding a "married" partner. They stress the need for healthy relationships and finding a support system, as well as balancing father, mother, and family rights and avoiding negative language. The importance of trusting oneself and respecting others' opinions is emphasized, along with avoiding negative language and being true to oneself.

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smilla rahmanir rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi

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Auroville shape body Raji Bismillah Hiro

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janicoo Sharapova.

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in Corona

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de la

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la Hi, Lee Harvey. So, first and foremost thing is

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Satan Allah The Allahu anhu. He was asked a question. His question was a very simple question. And say, you know, Holly gave eight words to this answer. How many words? Eight words, but in this eight words, he covered the whole of what I might cover with you in one or two or three nights.

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So Allah, Allah gave Satan Alibaba, again for Sahaja. Yoga, I could say a few things and has so much rich meaning to it. So what did you ask him? The question was simple. The question was, what is marriage?

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What is marriage? What is all about? Saving earlier the Ilana said first he said marriages suru Sharon, and he said what's after that? So then I said, whoo, moo, moo. Darrin, what's after that? He said qu bahrein was after that. He said newzoo koblin.

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That's it. Eight words. For couplets. Eight words sum the whole thing up. swannanoa What a job he did.

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Number one, his answer was suru. Sharon was married, Sally said, it is a month's worth of happiness.

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One month worth of happiness. It didn't literally mean a month worth of happiness. It meant innovation, the beginning, few one month, two months, three months, whatever, you know, you got your your wife saying, you know, you know, darling, what should I cook you? You know, practice on the table, even for breakfast, right? And everything is running like clockwork, everything. That's when the golden days are guys when you get married. And girls when you get married, enjoy it. Because there's a time when that's not going to be there anymore. You can be ended up with the conflicts and your breakfast table. And with the little crunchiness and the rest of it. And even if you want

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breakfast, she'll probably be snoring and telling you you know, to go and get yourself. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. She said it's a Sudoku, Sharon and he said who mukdahan next thing he said was, so that's possible. The next thing he said was udara. He said it's the whole lifetime worth of,

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of what?

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Of I don't want to use the word distress, but I'll use the word responsibility.

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It's a lifetime's worth of responsibility. And then say then Ali was asked what's after that? He said, Well, your back gets bent. kusuda so what's after that? Is it time to go to the grave?

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You might think wow, I'm gonna get married. One month after ma You know, there's so much pressure that I get back then and go in the grave. Is that a nice one last season, Ali said a beautiful thing. Because he linked marriage. He linked marriage. He linked it to the to the next world. And guys

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who's afraid of the grave?

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Who's Afraid of the grave? Some of us are, you know, what, if you prepared for it, the grave is a wonderful place to be in the grave is a wonderful place to be. Because it's a it's one of the it's either going to be pit of Hellfire is going to be a garden of paradise.

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So that's wonderful saving on the link to the grave. Right then why? Because marriage is not just about this world. And the people who get married after a while they realize that that is not just about this world. The whole era depends on marriage. The whole of the next life depends on marriage, and why there was no source who said, he said

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and he said nikka are you marriage is half of your face. Why is that half of your faith is because you and your wife together, you're going to complete faith. You're going to complete

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Man, and I'll be honest with you, it is absolutely true a person. How many of you guys are married here prehensive

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got five guys that are married here. And the rest of you wish I asked the other sister sisters at the bottom as well how many of them are married? No, I've never mind and then I could probably get probably just do nicastro here today, isn't it up and down, up and down. la hora de La Hoya

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and the thing is fiber you might most of you are not married. The first thing a person thinks that when marriage is coming up and so on is you know, they'll even just thinking about Sudoku she had in the first part of Satan Alice cold first part of his part, he said, you know, that month's worth some for some people is two months salary three months, four months, some people will last for a year, I met some brothers, you know, even after one and a half years till they still got a smile from one elope to another elope. Right. The you know, the brother Marcia lies looked after you. But that's good. And even sisters as well. Some of them they have a wonderful time. But you know,

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there's a time when responsibilities are going to come when responsibilities come is not about solution anymore. It's about who moved and you're gonna start thinking now.

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Now is a very serious thing. It's not it's not just getting there, get out there. It's not that no, no, no, those sisters, those brothers who are married and will be married, they know what it is because you know what, you know what the biggest thing you're going to have to deal with is learning about one another.

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Learn about one another. You know, for you to live on your own as a bachelor is easy. You get up in the morning, get you wherever you want, get out the door, come back when you want done, when you're married, you can't do that.

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You can't do what you want come home when you want this, and then you've got responsibility. You've got a responsibility, you've got to think about that. He will take it seriously. So the next thing is you got to think about that. If you've got any kids coming on the way you got to think about them, their education, their Dean, a lot of brothers, most of the practicing. In fact, I can say all of the practicing brothers I know. They are all thinking about the children when they get in 345 what school Am I going to send them to? Right then where we stand in school and so on. And you think at that moment, if your wife knows the dean,

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if your wife knows the deen and she knows it, and you're busy 95 and your wife's at home Subhana Allah your wife can do you know she can do wonders for you. She can sit home, she can just read your hand the kid will learn Fatiha from the mother's mouth. She can sit home she knows the dean she can teach her child the other o'clock manners ready made then you don't have to sweat for it. You don't have to undo damage by taking the kid to a special you know blue canvas on the later on. You know to get him engaged. You don't have to do any of them. Some kids they get to 1112 this and that and it's really getting late. Your your wives I'm telling you the brothers and the sisters What I'm saying is

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your husband's there Dean, you don't want first thing is you don't want a brother that you know is a lazy Oh, you know? Yeah, I'm talking to you brothers some some of us brothers and sisters. Some of us can really love that so far as a home you know, I'm saying I use love sitting on there is like Fatima

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de la

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vida LA, there's loads of Fatima's downstairs. So he goes Thema

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bring me roti.

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And they bought tea. Otherwise, I give you such a

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gotta beat us. And I mean, that's that sounds horrible. It's a horrible thing. You haven't got to know each other. You haven't got the you need the right type of mindset for marriage. And you got to connect with one another. You know, this whole idea has been covered by arranged marriages. arranged marriages. Well, let me cover in my way we write arranged marriages. Yeah. Where they basically they take you and I've got loads of brothers, loads of promises. Haven't they taken somewhere for an hour? Isn't it hard to know what's going on next minute, they know they're sitting next to go?

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And they're wondering, Where's everyone gone?

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After five minutes, everyone gets back together again. If I say to him,

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I say Well, where's my wife?

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You know, they haven't even said salon. They haven't even open their mouths with one another and just wanting to glance at something. And on the looks of the face is supposed to get married. Oh my god. I'll be honest with you, right. I'll be honest with you. There are some women that are very, very beautiful. Some men that are very handsome. Yeah, very handsome. But you know, inside here, they're really ugly.

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They're really ugly. Because they've got a bad ego problem.

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Some men, some women have

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really handsome pretty inside the cover some men and women, that might be okay. I'm not telling you to get married to someone who doesn't have any looks otherwise you're gonna get up in the morning. You know, look, I

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wish I was asleep.

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You know, we don't want to talk about that stage where you you don't know Rasulullah saw some said there's four things that you get. Have you ever covered this had these four things you might what the fourth is quickly. Number one.

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Jamel her beauty. Her man her wealth, a lineage and the fourth thing had Dean and then he said which one to choose? A Dean I know for sisters I'm saying it's the opposite thing for your men. right for your husband's you're looking for look for these four things to choose that definitely choose a fourth one. It doesn't mean he don't choose the other three. It means that if you get the other three the bonus if you get a woman who's who's got her D or a man who's got his Deen and then they're handsome and prettiest one hamdulillah noon and if there are money as well Alhamdulillah and there are good high leverage as well. You know jet chaudry whatever Hansa wherever it is yes Dota

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There is even a lava you can have that but what the primary thing is don't use the deen aspect as one thing well you know Deen aspect what what the prophet sallallahu Sallam said, you know it's a very beautiful part. Deen Allah subhanho wa Taala has used in the Holy Quran,

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Maliki Yomi Deen, Master of the Day of what not religion? Was it Deen is what the word was mean that

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they can say Jasmine recompence, Master of the dev Recompense. De means what you give to one person you expect something back that's the Yeah, that's the masala sauce who said Allah, Allah de mahali Hadith or Buddhahood. A man is his is on the, on the way of his brother.

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Meaning that however his his historic Holly his his his friend, a man is according to his the way his friend is

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for either resource and said when you want to befriend someone, look at his associates and friends from before. For example, if the brother here called Ibrahim and I want to get friends with him, then if I look at a Brian's friend Moosa is. And you know, Holly, whoever it is, I look at these friends. And I see that they've got some good character, I will know that Ibrahim has also got a good character because good characters stay with good characters, bad characters, they kind of get together as well. Right? chatty people? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Sometimes they love to be quiet people like quiet people, right? People who have got same ambitions in life like those same

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ambition. People are interested in education, we'll see them intimately with one another, more people are interested in more, you know, business, they're together with one another people are interested in whatever it is, people fall into categories. Now, what category Does your wife or your husband fall into? What category are you? It's important to ask these questions. Because if you're, if you're an extreme, you know, if you're an outgoing, I've, I've dealt with missing brothers. I'm saying this because I've dealt with a lot of I've done love, because I've lost count of how many because I've done Yeah, but unfortunately, there's a few in the society you get, you know, you get

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divorces, and so on feeling the site and you gotta you gotta look at why What's the reason? One reason I'd say is that the main reason I say that if they've had this kind of arranged marriage, where they've never known who the other guy parties until they start, you know, meeting each other on the first night, and then just have to get to know one another. It's really sad. What does Islam say Islam says, with your spouse, you can get together with her my grandfather, yeah. or her mom, uncle, I'm sure you've covered the look of all of this, right over the two days. But you need to be in that presence every time even if it's on phone, you know, email, Facebook, all these other other

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ways, you got to connect with one another. With every single one, there needs to be the presence of the Father, right. And if the father is not there, then the next best person who is who will be a person who will stop loose talk going on. That's the main thing. They're going to stop loose talk going on. So they will be there. And you can talk and exchange views. You want to get to know the person. So when you get to know the person, you've got certain questions to ask, what's your ambition in life? What do you want to do? How do you raise your kids up? Right? For example, I know one brother, one sister, she doesn't want she didn't want to send her kids to madrasa. They had an

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arranged marriage. He wanted to send his kids to madrasa. They got married one year later, it was a divorce. Because they they just didn't get the chance before marriage to ask these questions. Right. And another brother, another sister, she, you could keep it 24 hours on the bus, train, car, outside, whatever. She wasn't the kitchen woman. And he didn't want someone to cook and clean for him all the time. But he needed someone to stay home, you know, but after a couple of years, there was a divorce. Because there's a certain extent you're gonna go to two

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Try and make compromise. So what I'm saying is there's some crucial questions and those questions you're going to have to answer what I don't know what all of your ambitions are. The very crucial thing is to find out what the ambitions are what the characteristic is, is a solar system set in the Hadith Allahu Allah Dean holiday a man is a country's capital, his best friend or his friend. Your character is very important to find out whether my character gets on with her character her character gets on my character is really important. As one thing has one of the speakers covered right? It's the harder

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yes good. So you do is the harder and is the Shara is the Shara is you ask you consult with people? One of the best you know, some of you guys are young. Yeah, I know the best thing you love to hear from my mouth. You love to hear me telling you you know guys use God, they just get married to who you want. You know, parents are really old. And they don't know what's going on. They're living back in the 50s. And you're in the you know, zeros of the 90s. Where you abandon That's rubbish. At the same time, if I said to your parents, you know, if I know there's some, there's some committee members or parents and my dad was one of them. I loved the he gave the mom food on Thursday night.

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And then he sang his tune on Friday football. Now Sarah, never got that he gives him food on Thursday, tells him what to send on Friday. And the demands on the member on Friday saying talking about you know, parents rights, parents rights parents, right. And for all those years, I sat there, I thought to myself, scratch my head. I said he doesn't waste children's rights. Do we have any rights? Right? You know, my dad said, you know what my teacher said, he said every week he is to have a lecture in Bradford. And he used to have a good crowd after seed. And every week, you know, this the car man he had he's given all the rights possible, you know, in these talks. So one day,

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there was one particular person, he's to religiously record the talks. And those days was tapes, right? So used to basically make duplicate cassettes and give it to everybody else as well in the whole society. Yeah. however many you could write that one week, he basically talked about women's rights. And that week, it was recorded as well. But it wasn't distributed.

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I wonder why. You know, you kind of think where are these rights, you know, you've got an equal balance, you've got to understand that there are rights, we've got rights. We've got

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we've got to understand that we've got a righteous parents, I've got experience, my friends, all your parents have gone through marriage, they've got experience, and they've gone through the downfalls of life, and they don't want you to go through the downfalls. But I'm not gonna just gonna say go home and just say, you know, a mom, who Sheila Marian, she says, Does he want to go one person, that's your cousin. You know, I'm not saying for you to go home and just get married straightaway to your cousin next door. What I'm saying to you is that you got to have a balance, you got to listen a bit to your parents, and you got to also keep your own decisions as well, what you

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want in marriage. Now, the thing is,

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the egos are the most important things. When you discover like, I'll give you I'll give you things seven out of the land. He said, You never know a person. You never know person. Because once what happened is a person came to say the normal, I'm saying normal ask the reference for this person. So the person said, I know this person said, okay, you know him. Okay, so how do you know him? said, Yeah, I know him. I've heard about him. Since Norma said, Did you travel with him? said no. syndrome. I said, Have you had a lot of dealings going on with him? said no. He said, Have you been his neighbor? Or living with him? said no, he said, then you don't know this person.

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Because you don't know this person. things when you live with someone, you get to know some holla you know, the questions again? sisters, can you stop the questions now? Yeah, because I won't be able to answer all of these. Thank you. Thank you very much for the questions that

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you seriously have got some questions. Yeah.

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Our parents this panel, okay. Okay, I'll try my best to get through as many as I can. I'm just going to talk as as much as one and then I'll say questions. So thing is you got to find out about this person how the person is, right. The Eagles are really, really difficult to deal with. I'm sure some of you have traveled with some people use all the wonderful brothers until you travel with them. When you travel on a journey. And basically you got one sandwich and then not when lunchtime comes at breakfast that sandwich goes. I just a

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you know you find out about people. You find out when you travel people, right? When you go priorities, you got toiler and both of you have to go the same time. And you see who's gonna prioritize the other one Oh, someone wanted to you you may get stuck in there for half an hour. And you see and you want to go as well. You know, that's when you find out you know who a person is. These things happen when you travel. When you got when you got bartering going on. And you do business with people, you've done some bit of business. in this society, you find out how people are when they bought with you. And the other thing is when you basically live with someone all of you

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guys know your family members inside out.

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That's because you've lived with them so long. Everyone has a different character. Now you've got to find as best as you can from this Okay, so you ask the people who've been with them asked me to travel with them. Ask the people who, you know, live with them. Ask the people who who

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You know being with him in school in this in that and try and get an idea, right? You want to find out everything and please don't do the one folder some brothers do is that they're looking for the

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perfect woman or the woman that looks for the perfect man. Now I tell you where the perfect man is and the perfect woman is Russia tell you where they are.

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You can get one Do you want one?

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She's got you on? Do you have a perfect woman and says you want a perfect man? Yes, sir. Tell whether they're in Ghana.

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Then in Ghana, everyone in this world is imperfect.

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I'm imperfect. I've got false only person that didn't have false will do Sula, similasan

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only view I didn't have photos. ambia everyone besides them had false.

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We've got false. You can't find anyone perfect. So don't go looking for you know, my friend said Ray said he said you know they all start off right with a big list. And she got this degree got this. Carla

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hasn't got that as another.

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He said by the end of life basically when you start you when you start aging? Yeah. You've got a sell by date. You know? Cuz you're not married. You gotta sell by date. You know, I guess you could sell by day as well. Because when you 30 that's your cell by day.

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You might not be laughing now. You laugh. Yeah, you reach there. You're not married women are going to be very picky about your sisters. Your cell bodies be lower than that. So you're going to get married by then. But you know what the brother said to me said that said by the end of the time to come in at a sell by date. Yeah. They basically just say, Oh, yeah, actually got two eyes and two legs. Yeah, she's fine. She's fine. Yeah, she's just ready to do

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so you know you're gonna start dropping things out of that thing right? So try and balance it right Don't be so so strict that you want to get everything she's gonna cook for you. Is Baba met the other day? Right? He's gonna have his food particularly nice, Mr. Man. Your mother couldn't probably cook before she was married.

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He could go either way she's cooking this experience your mom can teach her don't put as a criteria on the thing that she's going to cook for me like the way my mom called to me. Oh my god, you causing a fitna already you know would you expect the system to be qualified in five star catering she was like a job in a restaurant you know and not be with you and a brother you know and if there's some parents here please here or downstairs that don't make you that is got to have a job he's got to have a degree ma ba everything total face and he's got to have an investment in flat not to that maybe then then consider his cousin 40. But yeah, maybe you consider another guy is gonna

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basically 2829 by the time he's even started, you know, most people got bank loans. Well, most people have got these loans only student loans. But it doesn't pay that off the cabinet. The guy's pettiness. Man, the guy September comes to me Ryan says to me, there's some guys that you brought up Listen, man, I want to get my to go. Yeah. And the same to me. The same, you know, the maihar the diary's 20,000 pounds. 20,000. You think that's funny? I was I was in one house in one video. And there. There was there was one Father here and the father in law here, right? So I'm in the middle and we're in the middle of nikka. I said how much is about

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I said, How is it nicotine?

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50,000 50,550

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is only 100. Right? They had to stop the function go on in another room. I have the little ramblings rather than the degrees on 20,000 pounds. A lot of you guys are thinking my God, I'm never gonna get married. Actually trick to trick you. I said to the brother. He said to me, you know, how can I get married? He's got 20,000 pounds, man. I said it's easy. When you get married you agree with everything right now? 20,000 pounds everything when you get married with her right after that and make sure this is in your nice hunky dory Daisy. Whenever things go. Well, and you might say to her, just say to her as a good gesture will say look, sister, you're my wife now. Yeah.

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Me penniless. Yeah.

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They say to me sister Please accept something humble from me as the Maha knockoff or you can Yeah. Is like for instance you can afford 500 pounds and say like 500 pounds is 1000 pounds and be okay with you. And if she says with the tongue This is the Quran Surah Nisa beginning of Walmart Sonata the US will find it FA da da da da to embody Allah say that if you are happy with whatever you do I agree with you man after marriage that's fine yeah, sister you want you on this one please sister and if she agrees with you Alhamdulillah 19,000 pounds a lot of brothers

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as a deals done yeah or the syste not humble edges that allow Hydra and if you do that for your brother You made his life easy, your life easier as well. But obviously, you know, don't don't go to the extreme of you know, taking my head down and then not treating people properly. No, no, you will obviously have to always look up

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Well, like for instance, between me and my wife, you know, we've managed this now there's never an issue Alhamdulilah whenever she sees money, she's got money whenever she needs a car, she's got her car. She's got a car. I got my car whenever she wants to go out, she can go out.

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You might think, Melissa worried.

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You can't trust me more besides giving a bad example? Yeah. I'm not giving you bad example. I'll give I'll give you a parable. Yeah. I was in two mothers Dewsbury for years. And Nottingham. I was there for four years. In Dewsbury. The rule was you do not leave this madrasa for three months.

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Same as you get by Johnny.

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You wrote you wrote a little letter Can I go home?

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With Kira

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So what do people do they make the unholy reasons to get hope. Everyone's dying to get out. Where we reasonably Can you know, like uncle's coming, you know, one of our churches flying out, you know, Granny Smith slaughtered lost the cows and the one that I can get on get home. Then I come to Nottingham and the rule there was you go home any weekend you want. first few weekends, man, the brothers would go up and down London and Birmingham wherever after a bit. What do you do? If you can go any weekend no one, no one was leaving a mother's I was full packed on a weekend. You know, the philosophy behind it is, is if somebody traps you in a place you want to get out of it from a

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disaster, you're free to go wherever you want you make your home. My wife, I told her from day number one, you want to visit your parents you visit them as many times as you want not as bumble bees. Now Bongo, Bongo is do they have this thing called nyeri?

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nyeri. I see the Sisters of Bumble is downstairs are they laughing? When it is that is that basically it's a very official way to leave the home. And she's gonna leave only after like six months. And even then she's gonna slowly bring it up with a mother in law and a father in law. And then they will sit down and say

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already you want to go already only six months. And then they give her two weeks only. And she's got to be back by those two weeks is custom. They do this. My god I tell you, right, these sisters are crying out there. And you know, the thing is the other solution to this, if they told me told the doctor knows, you can go as frequently as you want. I'll be honest with you after a while they would want to go that frequently. My wife hardly ever goes and sleeps in a parent's house and a parent's house is only 10 minutes drive from my house. Never Sleeps there. Why? Because my house is a home and she knows that she can go anytime she wants. Give freedom. But give it obviously we talk why

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it's not like she's going out, you know, doing something that she shouldn't do? No, no, no, no, that she's got a job on whatever, she knows where to go. She informed me she'll tell me when she's coming this and that she was I will respect your time because none of these kind of you know, you know, I tell you so Buhari had this number this you know, give my right my right. Turn back comes out. Right? Well Muslim, and it you know, it's none of his business. You can't do that. You can't live together like that. And there are some brothers who analyze You know, one guy, he was basically, you know, she stopped giving him his right.

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He stopped, she stopped giving him his ride in the nighttime. So what he did, he stopped the body next to him, right within the page mark is to get up Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam said, husband has decided that if I told the husband to even bow down to his wife and she has to bow down to his wife, right? What's the point? You know, you're gonna stop if you're gonna make life difficult and your life's gonna become difficult. You gotta you gotta take it easy you know there's a balance at the same time I'm not saying look I'm not saying let them go out wherever they want you know shopping Tommy and whichever shopping market or whatnot. whatever is necessary, let them go you guys won't

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necessarily handle that is a good understanding. You know, between yourself you have trust you've got the whole marriage house completely fine. Trust is the main thing I tell you trust as well is that I know some of you brothers, you know, thinking you know, first wife then second way

00:29:14--> 00:29:32

Listen, let me tell you to be honest with you. I've had this come up. polygamy hasn't come up. right this is gonna love this woman above is gonna love you as well which Allah, but you know, one thing is I told I told the person the other day. I said you want to go back home and you want to get you know a few wives.

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You'll find them. I said, but when a woman has got a red British passport, yeah, she's wahala sharika

00:29:43--> 00:29:59

she's alone and she's got no one else with other brothers crying already stuff. And now she's like, give you that the thing is their input and they've got all the rights and all of that. And I know some brothers who got married again afterwards or the wife couldn't trust them. I'll be honest with you, you know, help.

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break loose out in your house and you won't have a happy marriage. You know, after if you're going to do it, consulta talk to her, let her know, not behind the back door until tantallon. tease this and that and no, no, be honest and open with it. And if she says no, and if that's how she is and she wants to stick with one, stick with one you can think stick with one I tell her to Attila Rasulullah saw some said why he said in a hadith he said oh young people get married and you can't get married. What do you tell us to do? fast? Yeah, you are a form of very bad if you do a lot of Alibaba, he has a very good control on that thing between the thighs. hope you understand a bad

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fasting Vicar with Allah. If any brothers thinking oh my god, where passport Oh my god, only one marriage. Oh my god, I have to wait for another 50 years ago 72. In Ghana. If any brothers are thinking like that, well, you know you do a bad a lot more and you will find that your whole thing everything will be controlled. Right? Second thing is something to the sisters, I will say it might be in your case, sometimes good for you to find someone that could no one Brava who's married up in Bradford. Yeah, there's two women, right? Two women, both of them are good friends. One of them does all the house duties, and the other one does all the education.

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So it up, she goes to school to teach in a Muslim school, she basically teach she teaches them all day. And the kids have the other one as well. And this sister, she cooks all of them. Between them, there's nine children within two wives and nine children, and they'll hand off to the brother problems that are due. So he said hamdulillah in one house as well. So that and the first wife basically chose the second wife, you know, and you know, sisters can do that. It's not the end of the world. But it's up to you brothers and sisters, if you're going to do that, but don't break your marriage or make marriage horrible by the other person losing their trust. If you lose trust, you

00:32:03--> 00:32:09

know, that said, I'm telling you, there's nothing that can make your marriage again, it's a very, very important thing that you keep your trust together.

00:32:11--> 00:32:27

Okay, so just a couple of other minutes as well. So throughout the maze, few things about our mentality. Men do something to sisters. When a man has a trouble, he likes to be reclusive likes to basically beat himself.

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When a man has a trouble, he just likes to spend time with himself. And a man doesn't like unsolicited advice. If a man has an ask for advice, he doesn't like advice. But the opposite is when a woman has a problem. She likes to share and talk about the problem. That's her fitrah it's inside her. And the second thing is a man basically doesn't like unsolicited information. A woman likes unsolicited information. Right? It's different we create a different all this business about equality in men and women. Isn't that nice? And I'll be honest with you, you cannot get everything equal with men and women you can get a lot of things equal. You know, don't get me wrong. A lot of

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things equal in in a society but some things they're not equal. You tell a man you tell a man or few men to go and run a nursery right they're gonna go Bob bazookas inside here.

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I'm telling you after you may 1 is that year yeah.

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A man hasn't got that affection in his heart to long term a woman has she's been given it she's that's why she's only she's a mother. She's got the love that a man can can give. That's why they're so awesome said when the person said Who do I look after Moses said your mother, who then said your mother who he said your mother then he said your father. Why? Because the mothers love this

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company compare it the mother's love but a man the qualities Allah has given him with the strength and other things a woman doesn't have. Jen I'm told my general sense right general sense. I don't want to you know, cause all these in our inequality This is an alarm toggle does nothing be equal in the already be cooling the some things Allah has given to a man woman they're not equal. Where do I get this thing about? A man likes to be with himself. Luca Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam when he was thinking about Makkah before his Naboo well, where did he end up going to?

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Where did he end up just before? Prophethood the cave. Khadija delana Savannah she was she was the best wife of the Prophet. Why was she the most beloved? Because she understood that when her husband wants his time to himself, give him his time because in fact when he used to come to the house, she used to already prepare the meals for the next few nights.

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He wasn't like you know, stay now. Oh my god, I'm gonna die here. You know what I you know, nothing. No, no, no. It's like, go to the cave. Where did I get this thing about? The woman like to share her thing? Do you look inside the Quran surah Yusuf.

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The women who talk with one another but their problems kalama Samia democra Hina Allah Salat La Nina the whole thing is there You look a tsunami Jaga la the 58 surah, beginning of semi Allahu Allah, Allah t to Jaya DeLuca de zodia watashi wa Salatu was when his time as a hobby I came to her she complained about her husband, right? And allows us what he said the first thing says semia Allah, Allah has listened to the statement of that woman why women like to be listened to the brothers. If you got wife's got a problem to sit there, listen to her, she will love it. And sisters, I'm saying, if your husband just basically doesn't want to know any information, just don't give it to him.

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He'll be happy, leave him alone. Right, he probably wants to get out of his problem alone. And it's true. That's how we are in our fitrah. And a lot of things in this fitrah in our natural state as we are, we've got to respect one another for eight, for example,

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to a woman, sometimes small things can be major, leaving your cup on the table after drinking your tea and not putting it away. Yeah, someone's saying

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us right? It could be a big thing. But on the other hand, for a brother, there could be major things with some some other things right? For example, He might be thinking I go out there and I swear and I bring you know, some 1500 pounds a month to the house and pay all the bills right and is that nothing? But if all you got to understand is the mentality is different to these things. How do you make it blissful? Give a woman a bunch of flowers.

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You laughing give it a try. She'll be happy. Give her a gift. A man What does a man want? Give a man you know some sweet words. Even he might be angry. Give him sweet words. Throw sweet words at him says me words and smiles and you see him change. He comes home he's nothing he's not, you know, nice, affectionate words. What is rasulillah? Man I just wanna if you look at the relationship with Sahil Buhari, you'll find out they used to have a wonderful legible sweet sweetening each other's you know mounds Rasulullah sallallahu sadda was sweet and sweet was for her she was a student and there used to be a smile and affection. And he only got lost at the time of when she got accused.

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And she says that the the sweetness of the Prophet sallallahu and how he used to meet me suddenly I felt this coldness You know, he wasn't he wasn't horrible. No, no, he just stopped the sweetness that's all he did. And he felt there's something wrong. So here you will find it. There's a lot of you know, there's beautiful ways these two days to address one another beautiful boys when in fact, you know, listen to listen to this Robert Rasul Allah and the other thing is guys, I'm telling you, you know, the weak is weak. You know, the weakest man is the weakest man is the strongest man.

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What's the what's the weakest man?

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philosophy and the strongest man the weakest man the weak is you got a weakened and that is the one that hits his wife is a coward. That guy's a coward.

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He in your wife. He is someone that you can you know, someone that is not as powerful of you and please sisters, rather some sisters that do beat up their husbands.

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It's true. It's true. I know some brothers that get beaten up by the wives. And so you know if you're stronger than your husband and you know have mercy on the guy, you know, so we got three lumps on his head with the sources that you hate the one listed but general cases a man he in his wife is a coward. You can you want to pick on someone pick on someone your own size, pick on a man because someone who's got the same muscular, you know, talent as you that's different. But the strongest man as well. Rasulullah saw some said,

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les says Shadi to be Sora

00:39:01--> 00:39:19

a great wrestler who wins is the is a great wrestler, great wrestler is not the one who can throw his opponent onto the ground. But the great wrestler is the one who can control himself when he's angry.

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You want to be the best wrestler as a man, when you're angry, learn how to control yourself. Russell also gives you the stamp of the best wrestler I mean, you're the you're the guy, you know people out there

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when they're angry, they can't control themselves. Forget it. When you can control yourself you're angry. That's the real sewer system gives you a stamp of authority that you are strong. You are strong. Okay. So the thing is making you know sweet things you know, go your way your sisters got your way make nice dishes for your husbands. You know brothers got you a buy nice perfume gifts for your wives. Right now the thing is, you know be courteous to

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One other big thing though, it's not a man's job always to be in the kitchen. Right? But there's nothing wrong with with, you know, washing a few dishes. There's nothing wrong with that. And it's not a woman's job to do some of the things that men do and so on. There's nothing wrong with fitting one one of those roles now and again, right? But the thing is, if we care for one another, and we're honest, the buyer love the problem will basically be solid