Depression Causes, Treatment, & Prevention #03
Channel: Ali Albarghouthi
Series: Ali Albarghouthi - Depression - Causes Treatment and Prevention
File Size: 56.83MB
Episode Transcript ©
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Salam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatu Bismillah he will hamdu lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah, who ala alihi wa sahbihi wa sallam.
This is the third episode, in our series on depression causes treatment and prevention. And it hamdulillah last time we started talking about treatments for depression. And we'll continue to do this today by the will of Allah azza wa jal. And we're going to be dealing with a big one today. So I hope Insha Allah, that you are sitting back relax paying attention, because this one negative thoughts is really a big one. It's no exaggeration, I think to say that if we were able to control and counter our negative thoughts, those those negative impulses that just creep up into our minds,
if we can stop them and control them, then it's very unlikely that we would be depressed. So if you can control that, I think you would have the keys to stopping depression by the will of Allah as his origin, negative thoughts, how to treat that. The first thing is that we have to realize the source of those negative thoughts. And if you realize where they come from, you're likely to be able to counter that. So you say that negative thoughts either come from Shaytaan or they are amplified by the shaytaan.
So the source is either the shaytaan whispers those negative thoughts to you and me,
or that they come from the self and Allah azza wa jal describes the cells in the Quran as Amara to be su commands evil to possible. But when the shaitaan finds that there's a negative thought in you coming from you, he amplifies it, whispers pushes it forward, blows it up. So it's really hard to pinpoint where a negative thought comes from. But we can say insha Allah with certainty that the shaitaan is involved in one way or another.
And if you know that, you know how to fight it by the will of Allah Zildjian. But before I go into that, I want to give you in sha Allah sort of something like a case study to help with that, and this is taken from the Quran, how recognizing where the source is, and the purpose of that intervention is enables you to survive that assault.
So Allah azza wa jal says, in the menage Wamena Shavon. Leah has una Alladhina Amman. Allah says private talk private conversations, what does that mean? It means that when two people are conversing privately, and excluding a third person,
so that person third person feels what is the fertile ground for the shaitaan to come to that third person and say, they excluded you for a reason.
They dislike you they're talking about you. They're plotting against you.
So Allah xuejun says a ninja that ad is from Shay fun. What does it mean that it's from Shaytaan? It means that the chez THON likes it whispered it pushes it. So somehow, either he inspires that app, or he agrees and approves of it and uses it so it becomes his work. Anyway. He says this app is from Shaytaan. What's the purpose of it? Leah suna to Sajan the believers.
So here Allah azza wa jal explicitly tells you that the one of the purposes of the chez THON is to make you sad
that the shaitaan wants to make you sad. So why does the shaitaan want to make you sad because when you sad, you can do anything. You're out of energy. You don't have that motivation to worship Allah azza wa jal up occupied with your sadness. He puts you down through those tactics. So anything that is going to make you sad the shaytaan jumps on it seizes it, and exaggerates it.
So if you know if you remember this, then you have learned and you have remembered something that is very valuable, something that is sad, making you sad, there might be a hand in the shaytaan in it. So you want to stop that sadness. Then Allah azza wa jal says, well, they said you bought Rahim Shia. Ellerbee is Nila wa ala affiliate our killin movie known, it says
That is not going to harm them at all, except by the will of Allah Zildjian. Meaning that if two people and again, see how beautiful this is, when you learn it to people, and they're sitting, talking privately, and they're excluding you,
now if you know this idea, and Allah says, Allah says at the end, and Allah and upon Allah let the believers rely, if you know this idea, and the shaitaan starts whispering to you, they're talking about you. They're plotting against you. They're mocking you. If you know this is coming from the shaitaan, what do you say? I say, Oh, do we laminate sheets on a regime, maybe they're not even talking about new maybe they're not even aware of me. All this could be only in my head that oh, the villa. So these thoughts do go away, when you call upon Allah azza wa jal to defeat the shaitaan. And also you say, and even in the case, that they may be talking about me,
that is not going to harm me.
And I will put my trust in Allah as of dunya, Allah, I trust you.
Protect me from this, don't let it make me sad, don't let it distract me. And you can just walk away. V is Nilla with the help of Allah and harmed.
But that is the advantage of what knowing how a thought develops, and where it comes from and how to defeat it. So this is a case study, I want you to remember it in sha Allah once a evil thought maybe come or evil or negative thought comes into your or my mind. Where does it come from? We know that the JSON is involved, then how do you protect yourself from it? You immediately say that oh, the villa in the schizandra regime? Oh, the villa Yeah. Allah protect me. That's what that phrase means. Yeah, Allah protect me from the shaytaan.
If you want, say it in Arabic, and then say it in your own language, so that you understand what you're saying, Yeah, Allah protect me from the shade plan. And if once is not enough, keep saying it. Over we learned the sheath on GMO, the below Ministry of non GMO the elimination, and the more that you say it, the weaker the shaitaan is, and you will be able to deal with that thought in sha Allah, easily. Because you brought Allah in. And if you think that a shaytaan is trying to harm you, and you ask Allah for help, that Allah will not help you. You just have to mean it and keep saying it. So the first thing is seek Allah's protection from that negative thought that had come into your
heart and mind. You're responsible, it's your fault, you are dumb, you are a failure, whatever these things are. So yeah, oh, the bIllahi min, Ash shaytani R Rajim immediately. And then keep saying that. So that's the first thing. The second thing is don't believe these whispers.
And this is huge. By the way, that's another big step. When you hear these things, don't believe them.
You're responsible, you're at fault, will have examples or insha, Allah of negative thoughts. Whatever you do is going to be a failure. People don't like you these things when they come in, don't believe them, because you know, where they come from. And who is the agent responsible in promoting these ideas? Someone the shaitaan was not interested in your happiness. So of course, he'll do everything to undermine you. So that's a lie. So you don't believe it? dismiss it, stay away from it.
And separate these thoughts from yourself. Separate these thoughts from yourself. These thoughts are not you. Some people unfortunately, they think that if I thought some thing that that's me know, your thoughts are not you. These thoughts are from the shaytaan or amplified, as we said by the shaytaan. So you separate and say I'm not these thoughts. I'm not these negative assessments, these negative inclinations. I'm not that thing, just that something that popped into my head and the shaitaan is behind it. Oh, the biller take it away. This is how you self you save yourself from them. Also counter negative thoughts countering them with positive statements from the Quran and
from the Sunnah from the Hadith. And from the sayings of the righteous ancestors early Muslims positive statements like what you're afraid of
that you know you're gonna not have enough money.
Your children are going to go hungry. You remember in the law who Rosa Allah azza wa jal is the provider and sustainer it's not you. Allah provides
when mommy dad but if will are the Illa Allah Allah He was called there is no living being on this earth except that ALLAH guaranteed it's this. So you understand that you cannot guarantee your own risk. Allah guaranteed it for you. And he did
The same for your loved ones. You counter these negative thoughts with positive thoughts and statements from the Quran, from the Hadith, from the Sunnah. Oh, those people, they're looking down on me and you feel bad because of it. They're mocking the way that I speak the way that you look the way that I want. You say it doesn't matter what people think of me. What matters is how Allah sees me.
That's what really matters. And if I'm great in Allah's eyes, it doesn't matter what people think of me, and I could be great in people's eyes, but small and Allah's Great in people's eyes, but smaller than Allah's eyes, and that does not benefit me.
So the more that you are grounded in the Quran and Sunnah you remember that you can count with these negative impulses and thoughts was something positive from the Quran and the Sunnah, and the statements of the early Muslims and
adopt also the general narratives of the Quran narrative meaning like what is what is the meaning of life narrative is like a general
caption, right? To our entire existence. What does the Quran say about it? So if you remember that the Quran says life is short and fleeting and insignificant.
When you really believe that, it will reinforce the belief that this doesn't matter as much if you lose something that you think is valuable in life, but you need to counter it with Allah as the dude is saying eventually that all of this is going to go away. All the truth is going to go away, everything on it is going to go away. So what I think is, this significant loss is really in the eyes of Allah azza wa jal, nothing,
really, in terms of staying forever in Jannah, nothing. So when you adopt this general narrative of the Quran, like as I said, Life is short. Let me see what I
wrote here. Allah azza wa jal is the provider. What is important is how what how Allah sees you on what Allah sees in you, not your body, not your weight, not your accent now, not whether you're eloquent or not, these things don't matter. But what is in your heart, and your righteousness. That's what matters. If you adopt that narrative, then you can really counter the whispers of the Shaitaan will constantly by the way, try to put you down.
And if you don't know how, what are positive statements that I can use, for my own situation? What are positive, or onic narratives that I can use? For my situation, you don't know what ask ask an expert ask a shave, ask an imam who will be able to help you. Or when you have this thought, use this with it. When you have you know these ideas, use something else with it from the Quran. To help you counter that this is how you will be able to sustain you know your Eman and defend it from the shaytaan. Also, it's important not to be alone with your negative thoughts. In general, right? If you're not okay with being alone, you shouldn't be alone. There are those who are not depressed, who
can be alone. And they can do a lot of wonderful things when they are alone. There are those among us who don't do that and cannot do that. So if you cannot be alone with your negative thoughts, then, and this might might seem simple enough, but it's not really not simple, because it takes planning. So if I'm not okay with being alone with my negative thoughts, then I shouldn't be alone, schedule events, anticipate in advance, I'm going to have this free time. This free time usually I sit by myself in front of the TV in front of the computer and I daydream and all these thoughts come into my head. And that's how I regress. That's how I become sad. Anticipate, then schedule an event
where you're not alone.
Somebody is around you. You're talking to somebody else. You're doing something, scheduled events, schedule activities, but be proactive in a sense, where you are not leaving yourself vulnerable to the shaytaan. You just you know you're just alone at home and there's nothing to do and I know COVID And what have you. But still,
if you can just you go out, you go out and you do something positive outside of nothing positive is possible inside the house. But don't be alone with your thoughts and break the cycle of ruminations where you dwell upon the past and the present. So negative thoughts, incidents, regrets, fears and so on? rumination where you sit, and you repeat, and you think and you keep thinking I could have done that.
My life would be different. It was my mistake that I listened to this, but not that I'd have should have taken this step, but not that I'm afraid of this and all that. And you keep thinking about it and keeps depressing you and stressing you, and you become more anxious because of it, you need to stop that cycle. And you stop it by saying to yourself, This is not beneficial.
How is this helping anyone?
It's just making you more depressed, sadder and more anxious. Stop it, then stop. So what's the alternative? Find another activity? What is the alternative is for you to say these things if they've happened in the past happened, because Allah wanted them to be that way. And no other way, and nothing that I could have done. And if you could only remember this, please remember it. Nothing that you could have done at all, could have changed the past. You could say if I've taken this step, instead of that step, no,
it was still would happen the same, the same way that Allah wanted it. If I only did not listen to so and so and did this. No, it still would happen exactly the way that Allah wanted it. That's it. The past is settled.
How would you go? What's the benefit of trying to visit something that will never change? It's done.
And also blaming yourself for me for it and say it all it's all my fault? It's all my fault? How is this helping? Learn from it? If you did something wrong, repent from it, ask Allah for forgiveness, but move forward,
learn and move forward. But to sit down blame yourself. It doesn't help you or does it doesn't help anybody else. What helps you really is to say Allah, if I did something wrong.
If I did some, forgive me.
If I did something wrong, forgive me. If it was a misstep,
But allow me to go forward, learn from it, but move forward, accumulate good deeds, so that you'd be closer to Allah as I did, that's how positive we insha Allah should be.
And if you find yourself right, revisiting past incidents, here and you continue to do this, or bad thoughts continue to pop into your head, and you cannot deal with them. Like you really cannot deal with them, you tried and you try and you try, and you really cannot deal with them, then try to talk to someone,
trusted, wise person could be a family member, if you trust them, or an expert, a specialist in the field that could be a chef, it could be an Imam, that who is trusted, who knows what they're talking about, or counsel or a therapist, especially if they are Muslim.
But I would also urge you to make up and one of the themes of today's talk is
as if you have these negative thoughts, and they keep coming to your head and you keep saying oh the below me the shade on the regime and trying to understand where it comes from and you know, replying with, as we said, with what the Quran said what the Prophet said positive statements from their general narrative of the Quran and all of these things. You're trying to do that and you can try not to be alone. But the keep invading your mind and heart and you can't stop them. You say Allah helped me with this? Yeah, Allah helped me with this. This is making me sad and weak. Yeah, Allah helped me with this. Yeah, Allah lead me to someone who can help me with that.
Lead me to a lecture to a book that I can read that could help me with this, skip asking Allah Azzawajal with help, and you do not know how Subhan Allah how Allah will help you how you have thought before that this thing is killing me. I can't really escape it that thought. And then Allah azza wa jal, because he keeps asking, or show you how to deal with it, how to dismantle it, how to break it apart, so the shaitaan cannot use it against you.
It's possible, you just keep asking Allah azza wa jal for it. And Allah Azza did will help you.
Now we'll give you in Sharla examples of negative thoughts and they are not exhaustive, but examples of negative thoughts that come into our mind. And these are patterns. Some of them are patterns. So labeling, I'm a failure. I'm stupid, I'm dumb. You've done some things. They did not work. And as a result, you decide or maybe other things in your life have convinced you to say these things. And to believe things, these things. I'm a failure.
It's not like I failed at something, which is fine.
failing at something doesn't make you a failure.
Just you failed at something, that's fine. And there are so many successful people, by the way.
You can just go And subhanAllah you can read biographies, and you'll find that how some of the many successful people that you find today richest people, you'll find today, where they started, they failed and failed and failed, until they almost give up. And then success King.
So you can fail, that's fine, but you're not the failure, don't adopted
and you're not dumb, and you're not stupid. Allah did not create you dumb and stupid. There are certain things that you and I can do. And certain things that you and I cannot do. It doesn't make you dumb or stupid. It just makes you what? A specialist in one thing, but not another. And all of us are like that. So labeling, that's an example, fortune telling.
What does that mean is that everything I do will end up in failure, I'll never be successful, this is going to be a disaster. You're predicting that everything will be terrible. That's fortune telling, my life will not get get any better. Nothing better will come again, after this. So you're predicting what disaster in the future? And the answer to this is how do you know?
How do you know that life is not going to get any better? This is a whisper from the shaitaan. Again, if you ask Allah for help, will he not help?
Right? After rainy days, doesn't the sun come out?
So why do you why are you so gloomy, believing that it will always be bad? So that's fortune telling. And that's you have to catch yourself when you're doing this? Or it's I'm always going to be sick, I'm always going to be poor, I'm always going to be miserable, right? Everything I'll do will end up in failure. He says how do you know this? The fact that it may have failed, sometimes there's not it's not a predictor of the future. This is all untrue. You stop yourself and you say, Oh, we live in a shift on origin from that type of thinking and prediction. And I know that Allah azza wa jal, as long as I'm with him, there is always hope. You start pushing, you know and
countering and remembering and reading the Quran, it will help you Insha Allah, dismantle that idea, personalizing, which is what it's all my fault, something happened, whatever it happens around you, even though it's not your fault you adopted as your fault, it's me, that's the failure. And it's me who's responsible for this, whereas it is not. So don't accept it. Don't accept that failure as yours when it's not yours, right. All or Nothing, nothing thinking. Like, either I have this or I have nothing. So either I succeed, as I've planned, or I have failed, I don't see that there are other types of success. I can succeed this way or this way or that way. But I choose what either I
succeed this way or have failed.
Either I get this thing, or I have nothing at all. Either I go to this college, even though I marry this person, either I get this job, or nothing at all, I don't see that there are other options. So you have to open yourself to the vast possibility that yeah, there are different colleges. You could marry end up marrying any number of people you don't know. You could take different types of jobs. Success is not defined simply by the way that you decide to define it. In this instance. Maybe Allah azza wa jal sees success for you in a different way. So open yourself to the possibility that it's not all or nothing. Okay? And related to that is discounting the positive you don't see the positive
in whatever Allah has given to you. Maybe you're a perfectionist.
Right? That's that's an issue as well. So
some something good happens, but you say it's not as good as it could have been.
It's good, but it's not as good as it should have been. Or this is not good, because I could have done better.
No, if Allah azza wa jal gives you something. And maybe it's not up to your initial expectations. Still, you have to see that Allah gave it to you. Right? And there must be something positive in it.
You just need to look deeper and longer and so that you will find it but don't discount and dismiss that the positive that is already there and in there either. Thank Allah oxygen for it. Maybe it's not everything that I wanted. Maybe it's not exactly how I wanted it to look
but at least it is something.
And when it does something, then appreciate what you have. And when you do appreciate it, and Subhanallah, you'll be happier because of it. But if you always write pessimistic about it, the glass is half empty all the time, then you're gonna make yourself miserable, even though ALLAH given you stuff. So stop that it's not all or nothing. It doesn't always have to be exactly the way that you've imagined, and the way exactly the way that you have planted Allah from stuff, some for some flexibility in life, and know that Allah will give you things that are better for you than what you've planned and hoped. So keep that as a possibility. Say, Yes, this thing maybe actually is
better than what I wanted. Well, lo alum, right? catastrophic thinking,
meaning that what this is so terrible, what is happening now is so terrible, so unimaginable, how terrible that these things are happening to me. So you just see this as the worse, right? Whereas if you just step back a little bit,
you may notice that it's not as bad as you think. And will not as light will not last as long as you think. So if you just take it easy. And if it's difficult, you say, Yeah, Allah helped me with this. And again, the theme of today. See, Allah helped me with this yellow, this is just so difficult to carry. carry this with me. Take it away. If you just say that give me patience with this.
You don't have to suffer alone. You don't have to carry any burden alone. You just say, Yeah, Allah helped me with this.
And it may not seem as bad as you thought. And they may be if you sit and you think about it, right? If you really sit and think about it, you'll find that Subhanallah Yes, it it. It's a terrible thing. Let's say that it's a terrible thing. But it could have been worse, and it's not Alhamdulillah
you could have been really suffering, but you're not Alhamdulillah. And you notice people around you who are afflicted with far more, but not you Alhamdulillah. So yeah, it's not pleasant. But at the same time and hamdulillah Bill Allah mean that it's not worse, and I have people around to I can talk to so and so or I have money to be able to help or I can go to a doctor or or or right. So you look at the other side. And it's not as terrible, right?
Mind reading. This is like when something happens, and you predict that this is what people are thinking, and usually it's negative about you. So people are staying away from me because I'm unlovable.
They don't want to be my friends because I'm lovable, right? Or I don't get invited to functions because I'm boring.
Your mind reading, you're predicting what they think about you. And there could be other reasons why you didn't get out and did not get invited.
Right. And it's not that people don't find you. Interesting, but you know, there are other reasons. And even if one or two people find you boring and then so what other people find you delightful
and you yourself right? Do you find everybody around you delightful or some people are boring as well. So if you find somebody boring, should they be depressed because of what you think about them? It's just, you know, Soul sometimes do not meet.
So don't predict what people are thinking and don't assume the worst because the panel if you allow that the shaytaan will make you know Subhanallah Yeah, something out of it. Oh, they don't like me. And they will start to interpret every gesture, past present future as they hate me. And they're saying things about me. And you'll begin to feel you know, you know, terrible because of things that we allow to fester in our mind. But if you say I don't know what is in their mind, why should I assume?
And even if I eventually they end up if I end up discovering that they don't really like me Hamdulillah I ask Allah azza wa jal, you know, to change their mind or to give me better people who will really like me. Not everybody around you is supposed to like you, and they're not going to write. It's enough to have important people around you like you. That's enough. That's enough.
Not family members, good friends, relatives. Those are the people that you should be interested in loving you back, but that everybody around you should love you. That's unrealistic. Not everybody will like you. And the more that you believe that you are
ready and you believe that, the easier it is to deal with people, not everybody will like you and you don't like anybody anyway. So why should everybody behave differently, right?
And self blame if I had acted differently, we would, this would never have happened. We talked about this consistently, consistently blaming yourself for past events, like it's always your fault.
And you're always to blame.
Things that happened in the past happened and they're gone, learn from them, don't dwell on them. Allah azza wa jal does not want you to do this. Once you repent from a sin, once you repent from it, and you don't want to go back to it Alhamdulillah Allah mean you don't let it define you.
You don't let that mistake define you. That mistake is in the past, you learn from it and you grow, but it Nilla as origin, right.
Negative assumptions that also, it's important to deal with I've just have a few here, I have been mistreated because I deserve it. And there's something wrong with me.
So say when something bad happens to you, somebody mistreats you, family or otherwise, you internalize that by saying I deserve it.
And no one deserves to be mistreated. You got to get to race that thought immediately. You don't deserve to be mistreated.
So you're not in a SubhanAllah. So when a person believes that they will take that mistreatment, and they will add to it what that I deserve it, which makes it even worse. So no one deserves to be mistreated. You know, if it's haram, It's haram. Right? It's done. So and you'd have to really work on the fact of having self confidence or self appreciation, right? Self appreciation where, for instance, one of the negative assumptions, I need to be I need people's approval, to be worthwhile. I need to be praised, to be worthwhile, and to need to be successful, to be worthwhile to be loved. If people know me, they will hate me. If I'm not successful, they'll hate me.
And here, you have to understand that your worth is not connected to what to people's praise and assessment, or to money or to success, or that if you make a mistake, somehow you're going to fall from grace.
It's not that Allah azza wa jal says, Allah Katka Romney, Benny Adam, we have honored the Children of Adam. So if you ever cut you, if you ever think I'm worthless, I'm worthless. counter to that thought, or would that statement Allah had honored the Children of Adam, if you are a child of Adam, how could you be worthless and Allah has honored you? So that thought needs to be erased? No one is worthless.
Now where's Where does Where does my worth come from? People? If they that fluctuates, people like you and hate you, so you cannot attach your worth to that success. Allah does not look at it that way. Money. Allah doesn't look at it that way. Where does it come from? Your taqwa, your righteousness, how close you are to Allah. Do you do right things? Are you kind? Are you generous? Do you help other people? Do you do bad things? That's is where your worth comes from. So it shouldn't never never be tied? In how you look at yourself. Only if I'm successful, I'm worth something. Only if people like me then I'm worth something. Only if they praise me. Do I get no it's
how Allah sees you. And how you are with Allah azza wa jal. That's why we say Eman is needed really like Islam and Eman is needed to be able to deal with all of these things effectively in sha Allah Allah
Now we finished talking about negative thoughts and as I said the this was an important one
and you can always go back to it because this is recorded so I mean, if you've if you want to go back to it's it's on YouTube, it's on Facebook and it's on Instagram inshallah bill and me
the other thing that we want to seek treatment for is emptiness and lack of meaning.
And this is something that creeps up on you and this is another big one by the way. It creeps up on you slowly right invades your life you don't notice exactly when did it happen?
When did this this start, but you could find yourself you know, surrounded with lack of meaning. And you don't know where this started and it can cause depression, and when it causes depression, it would seem that depression is worth
cause, but there is a cause. There is something, but it just took a while for it to build up a while for it to build up. So this happens when life seems without a goal, a goal lists life, a goal list existence, and it is worsened. And two things make it worse routine, and comparisons. So routine,
you wake up, eat your breakfast, go to work, or if you're at home, do housework, come back, eat dinner, sleep, repeat, repeat, repeat. And after some time, when there is no meaning in your job on your in your in the work that you're doing. But you can't find meaning in it, you're lost meaning in it. After some time you look at this, and you say, what is this old for?
Just eating, waking up going up to going to work coming back sleeping? And so on? And so on? And so on? What is this old for? What am I living for?
So you start losing meaning? Or if you have free time, and there was nothing to do with that to do with it. You start losing meaning in life, what am I living for? To play games to go out with friends? Come back, sleep wake up? What is this for? Like I'm not I'm not pursuing something, I'm not doing anything. There's no value in my existence, whereas meaning.
So you could that could make you depressed with time. And I said another thing worsens. It is comparisons.
And that's deadly. You look at other people. And you say look at them compared to me, I have nothing to look forward to. But they so and so is traveling,
going to those exotic locations, posting it on social media.
So and so has kids, and they're going to raise their kids and they're going to attend their weddings, and they're going to educate them. And so they have something to look forward to.
So on so has a job as a career is waiting to be promoted. He has this incredible position. There's something in their life, look at me, poor me, I have none of these things. Why am I living? What's the purpose of my life.
what we have to understand is all these things that I've mentioned, as points of comparisons, and really not real goals in life. These are like temporary goals, but not for a minute. Because all of those people, all the things that we talked about, all of those peoples will eventually will have to come to terms with the same thing that you're asking yourself, once these goals disappear.
So if I'm traveling, there's going to come to come a time when I can't travel anymore. I don't have the money or I'm too old.
Or if I'm you know, on a path, I'm on a career or on a path, I'm going to get promoted. If I get fired, and I cannot find a job. I still got to ask myself, why am I living now? Now that I don't have that job? I know don't have that promotion and that career? Why am I living? I have no purpose.
If I had kids,
and I was just busy with raising them, and educating them and getting them married, so if if God forbid, they die, and my wife is empty now I asked myself, Why am I living? Or they get married and they leave and I may send my my find myself alone.
Again, I asked myself, Why am I living? What's the purpose of my life?
So all of these things that we talked about are temporary goals. But then eventually every single person will have to ask himself and herself. Why am I living? What's the purpose of it? And the answer is given in our Islam in our Eman, you are marching towards gender, this is where you're heading. That's what you want for yourself and all your loved ones Jenner. That's your goal.
And that's really what the men supplies. Everything else is a distraction.
But the ultimate real goal is that you want to be in Jenner.
And so if that's it, then your existence every day is to do something to be able to win that prize,
including all the other goals that we talked about. So getting married, having kids having a job, all of this should somehow melt into that greater goal of that I want to when Jenna but to a lot of us they just behave as distractions. But once they're gone and they have to go because they're not permanent. You come back to the same main quest
And that question is, what is the purpose of my life and the purpose of my life is Genda.
So that's what you want to start thinking about. If you think that your life is empty, why is it empty, fill it with things, productive things that will bring you closer to Allah as his origin. So there's a beautiful statement
where someone says, if someone is competing with you, in this world, for the sake of this world, compete with them in the earth era, for the hereafter, that is if someone and they're not really competing with you, but if they happen that they are competing with you. So they like collecting a lot of money collecting a lot of cars, building big homes and what have you. And that is making you sad, that comparison is making you sad, rather than compete in things that will perish and vanish. Competing things that will last say, Okay, you're building a house here. I don't want a bigger house I'll make my house bigger in Jannah. So you donate money, you read Quran, you do a lot of vicar you
to be kind to people, you help you be generous.
So, you build a bigger house and Jenna, if somebody right is set is being promoted, is rising the dunya and that is somehow is making you feel inferior because next to them.
Yeah, you don't have what they have
is they are I want to be promoted in the Sahara, on a rise in the levels in gender how?
So that becomes a goal and that is actually a real goal. But it takes a man for it to be a solid goal. Every day that Allah azza wa jal gives you is a purpose, or is a goal for you as ammunition is called ammunition that you can use to achieve that goal. So the F Hera is your goal. So if you ask me, what is my goal? Why am I living? I reply and say, why is it that Allah has already given you an extra day?
In Allah's infinite wisdom?
You wake up bored, I know you buoyed up without a purpose, you wake up tired. But then I asked you why.
In Allah's infinite wisdom, He gave you an extra day. Two, do what with it? Because Allah says it is wise and merciful. What did he want you to do with it, so that you can take that day and make it one step closer to Allah xuejun That's why He gave it to you.
That's what you want to do with it. He didn't give it to to simply eat, or to earn more money, these things we do to survive.
But just you survive to do what? So Allah gave it to you to do something useful in it. So plant in each day, useful activities, religious and worldly activities, dollars, don't sit idle without nothing. Plan ahead. And I'm gonna want to hop over all the yellow I know, you know, he said,
famously says, I hate to see a person was able bodied, sitting idle, doing nothing related to the dunya or the HERA meaning sitting doing nothing. Why? Either you busy yourself with worldly activities or religious activities, you plan that. And it's important to raise your kids like that, with responsibility, religious responsibilities, this is the time for you to pray, time for you to read the Quran. The time for you to donate the time to do it for you to volunteer at the masjid, the time for you to attend the Halaqa religious activities. And if not that worldly activities, physic not video games, but physical activities, social activities, so they learn always that they should
fill their times hobbies, hobbies. Yeah, you don't have nothing you don't develop a hobby. Start reading a book, start a project whatever it is, but don't sit empty.
Because that is destructive. Don't sit empty, and ask Allah as though did he say okay, I don't have goals. difficult for me to find goals. You say what? If you need something? What do you do? immediately if you need something the answer is what what do you do? You ask Allah
Ya Allah. I don't have a goal. I can't think of one it's difficult to me to come up with one Yeah, Allah give me one.
Give me the best of goals y'all.
Just to give me a go. Give me something to do to be able to change my life to fill it with something that is useful. Grant me that yeah, Allah.
I keep asking and he will find
that Allah azza wa jal will give you something, something will come to you one way or another, but will come to you do this, okay? Or your heart will open towards doing something that before it wasn't open to, but now it's open to whether it's Quran whether it's you know, starting something useful Allahu Allah, but ask Allah azza wa jal for it.
So let me see because then we not be able to do prevention and maintenance today. So what we'll do, so we'll do in sha Allah prevention and maintenance next week, so we'll do prevention, maintenance, and q&a next week in sha Allah. Okay, so Well, let me finish the Treatment Treatment part, I want to finish it today in sha Allah, but Allah mean,
healthy diet, sunshine and exercise, we've talked about the causes. And so these are remedies, healthy diet. Now, these are contributing factors. So if you do these things, they will decrease the chances of you being depressed. So why not try.
So by by saying eating healthy, I don't mean that. And some people will say, Oh, my God, I can't eat my comfort food now. So it doesn't mean that we see just reduce the amount of unhealthy food, you can decrease it, or you can restrict it. So that may be for instance, on weekdays, you eating healthy, you come to the weekend, you treat yourself and you eat the things that you like, but you decrease the amount of unhealthy foods so that you would feel better. And hopefully, if you feel better, you'll continue to eat healthy. And it's sometimes easier to do this when you start small. Because you want continuity, it's not just be so enthusiastic about something, you start too strong
and you fail, start in a way that could be continuous and sustainable. Or move few things and try it. Decrease the amount of sugar don't take remove it immediately or completely, decrease it slowly.
Until you No, no, maybe you will not need sugar in your food.
But slowly, and if you do it right with somebody else, that's even easier. So we talked about healthy diet, eating healthy fuels, it takes small steps, but consistent continuous steps in sha Allah Bellami.
Same thing with exercise, you don't have to go big.
Just plant a little bit of exercise a little bit of extra movement. And if you have a companion, that's even better. But something that is continuous that you can do once a week, twice a week, every day for 10 minutes or five minutes. You don't need to go out and buy equipment and what have you something that you can do at home, you can just go outside of the weather permits, and you can just walk. But that also connects you to nature. Right? exposes you to the sun. All that is important, right? So try that, that also Allah, you will find that to be helpful. And this is simply just too good. Sometimes just to go outside and see people is really refreshing so that you're not
cooped up with your own thoughts, right with your own problems in one place. Go outside
social connections, we talked about loneliness, being a modern disease. So we need people to thrive, we need people to complain to and talk to and interact with. And we need less of social media. So get off social media, and interact with real people, right? Those social media interactions are now real, and you don't need so much of it. So get off of it and talk to real people, talk to your family, talk to your friends, stay close to them.
And if you say I don't have that, or it's difficult, then the answer is what ask Allah for it.
It'd be Allah I know a lot of people who complain I don't have friends. And it's not just friends you know, you want righteous friends. So what do you do? Say ask Allah for Allah I don't have friends. And I need righteous friends give me those your enemy Give me those. Give me those around me who will support me? You have family but there's tension. Then what do you do? He Allah fix my family for me? Fix my friends for me, make them righteous. May that make their proximity to me a healing proximity, right? Not a disturbing one.
So ask Allah for it but stay close to people
Stay close to people.
And we can also focus on so religious activities. This one we're going to be talking about prevention. We'll talk about it prevention and maintenance, religious activities that keep you close to people see how celeb brings you to the masjid. See how fasting connects you to every other Muslim, on the face of this earth, Hajj brings you to next to other Muslims. So religious activities like attending Holocaust, like having book clubs, like being part of volunteer work, we will be talking about that in sha Allah next week, but having activities that connect you to people and these activities themselves are righteous and pleasing to Allah xojo. Or at least not displeasing.
Hello. So connect yourself with people. And as I said,
if you need that, you don't have it, and you need it. Ask Allah for it. And some will say, Well, my problem really is with my family.
My family, actually, or a member of my family is the one or a friend are the ones who are making me depressed with their comments and this and that, to that we say, right, depending on who they are, you can limit contact with them, to preserve your heart and mind and ask Allah Zoda ask Allah to change them. But you can limit contact, I'm not saying boycotts 100%, but limit contact so that you feel better. So that you as I said, you can preserve your sanity and preserve insha Allah your Eman if they are a cause of harm, but ask Allah to change them.
The last two points in sha Allah that I want to mention, in terms of treatment, talk to someone that you trust.
Here, I'm recommending that you don't keep it to yourself. You don't suffer in silence. You don't keep it all bottled up until you know you explode on the inside. You just you know, you just fall apart.
If something is bothering you is there is a there's a problem. There's something you cannot resolve, talk to someone. And I say someone who can be trusted, that could be a family member that you trust, trust in terms of what trust that they will keep your secret and trust in terms of wisdom and knowledge.
They're not foolish.
Or if you don't have that person, seek a professional, you can talk to an Imam, that you trust a chef that you trust, or a therapist that you trust, okay, especially if they are Muslim, emphasize that.
So that they can tell you what to do. So that you can share with them what you what you're going through. And at least that sharing in itself is a release that's sharing itself is a therapy, and then they can come back and tell you try this try that it's not so it's not so bad. I also went through this that will make you feel better and how many times just remember how many times you were feeling so bad, you talk to somebody and simply they told you it's gonna be better Insha Allah, I went through the same thing, so on so went through the same thing, it's not as bad as you think Inshallah, you know, healing will come and you felt better because of it. So talking to people is
really important. So I would not recommend that.
And also enroll in religious activities,
to keep yourself connected to Allah azza wa jal, and also active and connected to people. So achieves three things. And I'll give you examples of some religious activities that and that I would recommend, but it does three things. One, it keeps you close to Allah second, keeps you active doing something, right. And the third thing inshallah it will teach you,
it will teach you something. So, you know, as I said, attending lectures, every week, you're anchored. Every week, I'm listening to this every week, I'm meeting people every week, I'm learning something. It helps like that, right?
Reading books, especially in a book club, with other people, so you're learning and you're meeting people
and whether it's in a masjid in a charity and what have you. But keep yourself engaged in religious activities, especially ones that is recurrent. And read books and listen to lectures. Because the more that you read, and the more that you listen to lectures, the more that you will hear things that will help you and benefit you. And sometimes Subhan Allah
Without you expecting it, you're looking for an answer. And you just listen to a lecture and then Allah azza wa jal gives you the answer. Sometimes you are looking for an answer. You read the Quran, it's right there. I've never seen it before. But it's right there.
Right? Sometimes it's right there in the Hadith.
And it's just it came to you why? Because you were seeking something. Right? And Allah azza wa jal says we're Ladino Jahad Rufina. Those who are strive strive towards us, we will guide them to our ways that if you strive towards Allah, you move towards Allah, Allah will find a way to guide you.
The way that it comes will surprise you, but it will come to you. So, read Inshallah, and we'll talk more about reading Inshallah, next week, the last week the last thing that I mentioned in terms of Rukia
terms of treatment is Rokia
and I put it at the end though I could have put it way at the front is that I did not want you to think that if I said Rokia is that you are if you're depressed or you're anxious that you are
possessed or this is envy or magic, no.
in a future lecture in sha Allah separate from the series, I'll talk about the intersection between mental health issues depression, anxiety and what have you and then the issue of envy, magic and the shaitaan and possession I'll talk about that later inshallah. But for our for us here.
Why did I say Rukia? Because to treat physical illness, we use it up here.
And whether that physical illness has come because of envy or simply it is biological. Rokia helps. What do we mean by nuclear? What okay, it means to use the Quran used the F car, the authentic suna to read it on yourself to bring divine healing.
That's what Rokia is, you don't necessarily need to go to Araki in domestic or a chef to do that for you. You can do it for yourself.
So as we do it for physical illness, also, we should do it for psychological, emotional, you know, disturbances in harm. So I'm depressed, I'm anxious and sad.
Why not? Read al Fatiha.
Right. Why am I ma and VT? Maybe but maybe not maybe you're just simply depressed.
Renal fat you have lowered on your hand wipe it over your body,
read and more or without pull holla who had pulled out develop Bill Fela Koolau develop venous flow generally had blowed Lord on your hand, then wipe it over the rest of your body. There was some scar from the prophets of Allah Allah us and them at the HIV inverse Allah Benesch with fishery and the chef Isla Shiva industry folk, she felt Allah yoga guru Sakuma take away the harm of bananas. Oh Lord of of humanity. Wish we enter chef the end cure you are a chef, you're the one who cures last shifa illness you folk there is no cure except the cure that you bring. So when you say this, that cure is a cure of what illness? All types of illness internal and external, biological and
psychological. So yeah, Rukia
and this helps with you, or what if somebody else also is suffering? You can do it okay on them without them asking you go and you do it up here, blow it on them. Maybe Allah is just through this, something will change.
Right? Something will change. So this is in sha Allah the conclusion of what what I wanted to say about treatment, but the series is not done. So I still owe you we still haven't finished right? They still owe you talking about prevention and maintenance.
And then insha, Allah will deal with questions and answers in sha Allah. Next week, that will be the final session in sha Allah, Allah mean. So if you have questions, post them, sha Allah and I said that you can send an email, healing and [email protected] You can post it
as a comment on YouTube or Facebook. Right? So do that insha Allah and we'll collect all of these questions. We'll answer them next week, in addition in sha Allah to talk in first about prevention and maintenance when it comes to depression, so I hope insha Allah that this session was not long again, if you need ever need to go back to it. It is recorded. It's it's available. I asked a lot of Bilaal. I mean to
He lists all of all what ails us everything that we are suffering from us and our loved ones internally and externally. Basketball allow me to remove any sadness and worry and anxiety that we have last but allow me to place it all with comfort and trust in Him Spanner with the Allah. Worse him Rob Ballard, I mean our hammer Brahimi to remove our negative thoughts to protect us from the whispers of the shaytaan was convertible Alameen to give us full lives that are filled with what pleases Him subhanho wa Taala whereas kimberbell Allah means to make accord the Quran a healing for us to make dua something that is very close to us so that whenever we need something, we run to
Allah azza wa jal and ask him what has come up but Allah mean to make the hereafter our may have our our major concern not to make the dunya our major concern and make us of those who work for the ACA, as well as for the dunya and makers of those who compete for the ACA, more than when we compete for the Dounia vasca siapa ALEMI to make us those who are blessed in this dunya and in the akhira protected in this dunya and in the era where she honorable Alamy to put us in our parents, our children, our loved ones, in general mean United they are hamara hai mean, protect this era Bella Mihaela car hamara hai mean, and guide us to what pleases you and protect us from what displeases
you. BarakAllahu ficam insha Allah we'll see you next week. At the same time. At the same day Bartok and Lo Fi comm Subhanak Lama will be handing a shadow lay the stuff with regard to bow relay, we'll have reliable al Amin, Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh