Channel: Haitham al-Haddad
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wa salatu salam ala nabina Muhammad
as I said last time, that the surah is very rich in the rulings
And we really need to be aware of many of those rulings.
And as I told you, that
many people put themselves into so many problems because of ignorance of the rulings of Allah.
We mentioned some stories and inshallah, we will mention other stories to reflect or to represent other cases that people are unaware of.
Last time we started to give the Tafseer of this surah Yeah, you have to be either por la comunidad de
la de la
Oh Prophet, if you if you hear it a lot to you in English, and can refer to an individual or a group of individuals and here, it
refers to as we said, to both meanings as if it is as it addresses the Prophet sallallahu Sallam alone, but out of respect for the Prophet sallallaahu Selim it uses the
the Royal we okay what is known as the Royal doctrine or according to the either meaning which is meaning that has been endorsed by most of them of a sit in for many of them are sitting,
it is the beginning of the address is to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam but he wants to drag the attention of his oma Okay, so the then Allah Allah Allah says if you as an oma or as Muslims, if you divorce women then do this and that for the other meaning a few years old prophet tell the believers if they were to divorce women then they have to do this and that okay, eat up a lot to Mona Lisa, if you divorce
women properly una de Tina first of all
Palau Palak is ending the marriage contract
in this zodia by the will of the husband using a certain word, this is the definition of Palak. So, it is ending the marriage contract or marriage wedlock
by the will of the husband using a certain word
here are the two zote by the will of the husband. Now,
as we said, I don't know whether we said that is to end marriages. And we said that one of the
one of the acts that Allah Delilah discourages in general is to end the marriage. However, in many cases, there should be an end for this marriage, which is not working or for whatever reason. So there has to be an end.
If we study
the rulings for Palau, you will see that those rulings can only be revealed by someone who is not a human being.
If you study those rulings, you will admit and recognize and see that those rulings have not been revealed by someone who is a human being by someone who is found
to be a human beings.
Same thing if you study the rulings of
transactions, financial transactions, you will see that those rulings cannot be legislated by a human being by a normal person. No, there has to be someone who is so superior
who legislated those things those rulings, same thing with Pollak.
As I said, the law is
legislated to end marriage. Sharia discourages ending marriages in general. In Hadith, in Sahih Muslim the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said the dash a bomb
puts his song on water and then he sends the child in
the small child in who work for him.
And he said otra bajo Minho, Akira boohooman humanzee Ratan Tata woman who actor home so the actor home facade or if sada the nearest and dearest shaper to him is the one who caused the most mischief and corruption. So the shaper will come to Him and He will say to him, I have done this. He said, No, no, you did not do anything. Jani they should have been the devil people, as we see some developers, so the devils from the shell team, as we see some devil people, devil humans, they compete in what doing something really bad, this is their competition. And if they do something that is not that bad, they will feel they cannot sleep peacefully. They only enjoy when they cause big
mischeif. These are children. So
the nearest and dearest shape on to the big shape and is the one who causes the biggest mischeif. So once a bond will come to them, and they will say to him, I did this, you say No, you did not do anything. Another coupon will come to him. I did this. No, he didn't do anything.
Until shaytan comes to him. And he says to him, I did not leave him until I caused 15 out problems between him and his wife, and I ended his marriage.
Then the big shavon will say you are the dearest to me.
Which means what? That Allah Allah, Allah does not like ending marriages.
However, Allah knows, and acknowledges that sometimes the only solution for this marriage is to let each one to depart by himself.
However, and moreover, Allah, Allah Allah
put this padlock in a certain framework, in order to what First of all, to make it a solution rather than a problem.
To make a solution, rather than a problem, and we need to look at it as a solution for a problem. Once we deal with this, then it will be a problem, otherwise it will be a solution. Otherwise it will be what a problem. That's why Allah Allah Allah, put the guidelines for Allah. Then he said, we may adapt the law.
So if you fear Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah will find you away. Which means that if you follow the guidelines of Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah will find a solution for you. Because you have followed the guidelines or followed yellow Allah and Allah Allah, Allah will facilitate a solution for you. But if you don't feel like Allah, Allah, then it is up to you, you bear the consequences of what you do. So by law, should be used as a solution. This is the first art or the first point that we need to learn in order to make by law in order to minimize but up, and in order to make it as a solution for a problem. My dear brothers and sisters, we're live the way I see it here in the UK,
because I deal with polio cases a lot. I see that if our community were to collapse, it is because of marriage breakdown within our community, which is not because we will not practice the deen or we are weak, or because external pressure or preventive strategy, or ni fi or MIT or so on. No, it is because of something worse than that
than all of these things, which is marriage breakdown.
Once I remember that I estimated the percentage of breakdown to be between around 40 40% of the marriages within our community and someone who challenged me I said to him, just go and check the people around you. How many people have went through
a divorce or marriage breakdown? And I said myself Let me check myself and I checked. I took a random sample sample not only that the close people to me, yeah, but a random sample from the people I know and
I found the percentage is almost like that.
And you check it yourself, it is a huge problem. And I think, let us admit that the Imams, the leaders,
you name them are not doing enough to solve this problem. Because this problem, I think, has to be addressed from various angles. And one of the main influentials of of this increase in the percentage of divorce is the exposure to the non Islamic way of life.
Even in unfortunately in Muslim world,
they the rates are becoming really crazy, really crazy. Why? Again, because of the exposure of the non Islamic way of life, we need to analyze what are the analyze those reasons behind this marriage breakdown? problem or huge problem in order to find solutions? Allah Allah, Allah, Allah May Allah if we follow the guidelines of Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah He those guidelines with us in marriage or divorce, those guidelines will help us to minimize this rate or these rates. Okay, some of those guidelines are mentioned here.
Okay, Ballack, Allah, Allah, Allah says either paliperidone Allah is
translated as divorce. Now, in order to explain this, and as I told you, these verses, this verse alone has so many rulings.
First of all, Pollock is one of four different ways of ending marriage. wedlock, birth is one of four different ways of ending marriage, wedlock
marriage, whatnot, can be ended, according to Islamic Sharia
through First of all, by law, which is what the will of the husband that has been expressed clearly through certain words, okay? This is bollock. So, it is not the decision of the wife, it is the decision of the husband. And he has to express that in a certain way. Then after Pollock, we have something called Hola.
Yes, hola is the request from the husband the request or a request from the wife
to end the marriage wedlock that has been added to the husband, and then the husband would agree to that request in exchange of money. So it is it can be defined ending the marriage or the word lock
by the husband in exchange of a certain amount of money paid by the wife. This is the definition of according to the due mode. However, some scholars define define it in a different way. They say it is a divorce by the husband as a request from the wife. And they don't make it conditional to an exchange of money. Yeah, so once the wife requested from her husband, a divorce and he doesn't want to divorce her except because she requested it
a minor number of scholar considered this, but we go for the opinion of the more because this is a very vague and a very vague
definition and moreover, it does not differentiate between follow and either or otherwise, what is the difference between Pollock and cola? So, this is the second way are you following me?
Are you following the third way? The third way is what
is dissolution? So
are confused or confused between what holla and First, there are two different things. First, is the dissolution of the wedlock carried out
By the Muslim court.
So, it is not carried out by the husband. Later on that it is carried out by the wife. No, it is carried out by what? By the Muslim court, the Muslim court will not act by itself that it will act as a request from either parties either from the husband or from the wife.
Sometimes in most cases it is the husband direct sorry, in most cases it is the wife that requests the first or dissolution, but in some cases, the husband might prefer that the court dissolves the marriage rather than him
rather than him divorcing his wife
and the fourth thing is what Can someone tell me? What is the fourth way of ending
death will end anything.
We have no
apostasy law this apostasy because it is not ending the Yani the word look by from
a from the manager perspective. Yeah, it is of course ending the wedlock but it is not Yani ending it as a marriage.
What's your name?
He's afraid to mention his name.
What do you mean by
the father? You mean? What do you mean by the father?
Okay, the fourth way is Leon.
Yeah. Yeah. What is the
by Neon is what is mentioned in Seurat and new?
Yeah. Okay, what is Leon, if a person
if a man accuses his wife, we have to be careful because person might take Be a man or a female or a man. And now marriage, according to the law can happen between a man and a man and the woman and the woman? Yeah. So once we say a person, we have to qualify it. And then later may later on maybe marriage can take place between a man and donkey or
we don't know, it might be in some countries it is you can marry an animal
in some countries, anyway. So if a man accuses his wife
accuses his wife of Xena
and she denied that and he insisted or she told him feed a lot otherwise it will take you to the court.
And he said I don't care. She has the right to take him to the court. If he accuses her of Zina in front of the court in front of the court. The judge will tell him or do you accuse your wife of Xena if he says yes. Then he has to demand he has to swear four times that he committed. Zina adultery. Yeah.
Otherwise if he doesn't, if he does not, it's word by Allah. Then the judge will smack him because of what cylinders accusing her of Xena.
Okay, so she had to I had him Alba had that in delay in the whole Domino saga thing. Well Jaime Santa Ana de la la he in Cannes, Amina KDB. So he will work four times that she, his wife committed adultery. And the fifth one is to swear by Allah and to encourage the learner of Allah on him if he was telling a lie
The judge then will ask the wife to do the same thing to respond to that by defending herself by swearing four times, that she did not commit Zina. And the fifth is an oath by herself and where she encodes the verb for local pharmacy
in Canada means that the love of Allah, there will be upon her if he was true, truthful in accusing her of Zina.
If the man insisted, and he made this Leon and he swore four times, yeah, and the fifth, as we said,
in order for herself, to defend herself from the punishment of Xena, she's walled four times and the fifth time as we explained,
then she will not be punished the punishment of Xena
but because he accused her of this and she defended her like that, which is something big, then
the judge will dissolve their marriage or the marriage is dissolved automatically, forever.
So they cannot go back to each other, they cannot re marry each other even if the wife married hungry. Man After that, she cannot go back to him. Yeah. As in Hathaway Middle Atlantic.
Okay, so this is the fourth way anyway, now we are the fourth way. Now it is not the time to explain what there is. But Leon this process
is one of the miracles of Sharia.
No system in the world can bring something like
no system in the world can bring something like that. And it is from Allah Allah Allah is a unique system.
Anyway, we don't want to get into it. Otherwise, it will take us many lessons to explain the miracles of the end and the impact the consequences of these are the four ways to end what
the word look if you want to add apostasy although it is not considered to be ending in America. This is fifth way.
Some scholars might consider apostasy as one of the means for
Yeah, anyway, again, we don't want to get into this. But law is a system by itself by itself is another system. And
first is another system. More all of them are the subsystems of ending the marriage workflow. And bollock is a subsystem of nikka.
Okay, and the cat is a subsystem of our social system, if you like to look at it, like this. Now, Bella
has a procedures. bollock has a procedure, as we said, if you look at the procedure of Allah,
you will admit and acknowledge that there is a miracle or miracles here, one of those procedures 111 element of this procedure is what is mentioned here is octoman nissa.
t now, if you divorce
women, then divorce them in the beginning of their a duck.
Now this means that there is something called a duck. What is it?
What is it?
If you Divorce, Divorce them in the beginning of there
is a period
is a period a woman? Wait after she's been divorced or after her husband dies?
There are other types of a dead? Yes. And in the books of you will see a chapter called key tabulated.
And this colored said, normally, any scholar said Walmart that Walmart had to separate.
There are seven types of women who go through a de Yeah, some others said nine it depends on how they classify them but mainly the time
of women who observe a de,
are two women who lose their
women who are divorced. Yes. And women who became widows because their husbands died.
So the divorcees and widows these are the main two types
of women who observed a death and that each type, there are subsections say that the divorces
can differ based on what kind of divorce they went to through or they had
later on, and that under the divorces, we have what women who have received
by their husbands
and the other type women who received marriage dissolution by the Islamic court clear. So under this category, we have three sub categories. And then we have what? The widows
Now, under all these categories, we have different women, different types of women. For example, we have young women who got married and who do not see their period.
Yes. Similarly, we have women who are too old to have their menses or their periods. Well, that isn't I mean, I hate the meanness. I come in here to the to hoonah salata to asuran one la de la Mia.
So those who do not see their periods and those who are young or too young to see their periods
Okay, each one has its own a
period to wait after the divorce.
What about women who are pregnant, they don't see periods.
They have a different type of a de una familia de Luna Ivana, habla Hoon, the pregnant woman there it is to deliver the baby.
Yes. Okay. Same similar discussion about the widows of course, will not get into all these types, but I'm just giving the main giving you the main classifications Okay. Now,
as we said it is a period of time
she should wait after being divorced or made or
her husband died?
Yes, it is a period of time.
this period of time, what is it? Wait, what what what does it What does it mean what are the rulings of this period of time? Okay. Now, in order to discuss the this rate, we need to discuss its length and what should be done during that
its length we will discuss it now. Okay. But before that, what does a woman do during hair?
And what is the wisdom behind it? So, the length, the quality and the wisdom behind it? Let us start with the wisdom behind it. The wisdom behind there it
is for the man for the husband and wife
to think about their life and to reconsider their decision about divorce.
And Elijah lavalla made this period for them to reconcile or to be more precise brothers for the husband to decide to reconcile. It is not for the for the wife to decide to the concern. Yeah, for the husband to decide to reconcile with his wife. If he decided to do so. Then he can. It is you. Yeah, he can resume the marriage
or the word lock
without even her permission.
Provided that he did this.
So called to do which is to resume the matrimonial life within the period
in a particular way.
So, that the period is a period that
allows the husband to take his wife back or to resume the matrimonial life
okay in a particular way
again, it is a period of time
in which the husband has the right to resume the matrimonial life
with his wife, if he expressed this act of reducing in a particular way
Yes, this What does it mean? Now, as you can see
that, once a husband divorces his wife,
it is not everything, it is not done.
go back to her. What about if he regrets he divorced his wife. Then he said, You know what?
Really, I lost her. I lost my children. My family has been broken now. I cannot even go back to her just by divorce like this.
So, definitely you will regret.
And some people have different statistics in their countries about I don't have any accurate statistics about the percentage of those people who regret their divorce after the divorce. But from my own experience, I have not seen a person a man who doesn't regret after divorcing his wife. Yeah. So that's why Allah Allah, Allah
legislated this period of time, so the man can work can think again.
In the beginning of Fantasyland, there was an order.
In the beginning of Islam, there was an order once the man divorces his wife, that's it.
Then a woman has now been to us it is a smart thing to see the second was divorced. And her husband regretted then Allah Allah Allah revealed this.
Yeah, it up a lot tomo Nisa, Lu Han la de la. Salud.
Okay, then they started to observe that.
This is one reason for revealing this idea. There are two other reasons we will mention them just remind me if I forget. So this is the data Palak Tunis, if you divorce women, divorce them in the beginning of their ADA and this is Derrida.
As you can see that the main read,
one of the elements of the wisdom of this ADA is for the husband to think again.
to think again. And the larger lalala also commanded the husband
and the wife not to leave the mercury morial house, so they can see each other.
Yes, and they can reconsider and think more about what has happened. We will explain that inshallah once we come to that.
Okay, now, as we said, it is the right of the husband, which means that and sisters have to be clear about this. That if a husband took his wife he during took his wife back during the period, she has no right to refuse.
Yeah, this is a common mistake that many brothers and sisters fall in. We have so many cases where
the husband says to his wife, no, I am regretting really let us resume the marriage and sometimes he would say clearly that I am taking you back
And then she says no, not happy and I don't want to do this. Yeah. Okay. Then he leaves her.
Then she gets mad it
after sometimes when she starts to practice that in,
she would read, and she would say, Oh, my first husband,
did he take me back? Or he didn't?
Then he she comes and she says, My husband, he was negotiating with me. I don't know whether that was a rodeo or not. Do you remember what he said to you? Sometimes they would say clearly that he wanted me back. And he said, I'm taking you back. But I refused.
This is a big problem. Because if he took her back, and she admitted that he took her back,
it is a valid rule.
She doesn't need her consent is not a condition for the validity of the review. I hope the sisters to understand this and the brothers to understand this, because many brothers when they do the rodeo, they think that if the wife does not consent for the reader, then there was no valid rule. And he leaves them. He then he leaves.
He leaves her now she is in his wedlock and his dilemma. He leaves her and he knows that she is getting married to another person. How come you allow her to get married to another person, and she's your wife. You have to go and tell her father that you have what done redo. I hope that this point is clear. This is one of the common problems, very common. Another common problem related to this.
And the redo is the husband. He calls his what
he calls his father in law. You know, I'm really regretting and I want my wife back and etc. The father in law because his wife, his daughter was divorced. Yeah, he is now. Yeah. And he had his headset as they say he's angry. He said no, no, I will not send her back to you. Yes. And then what happens? She gets married unlawfully.
If the husband took her back, she is his wife. In fact, my dear respected brothers and sisters, the wifey during that period, his wife is not a divorce, see?
Is it clear?
What does that mean? It means that during the period, even if the husband did not take her back, if he dies, she will
inherit him. If she dies, he will inherit her.
Is it clear? Because he is his wife?
Okay. But among the common mistakes that people don't know how to do to do he would call her father. And he would say, I want my wife back. The father would say no. Then the husband thinks that is dumb hellos. Yeah. And the husband will think that it is done. No, it is it's valid hellos she cannot met get married to another person.
And by the way, just the only a disclaimer all once we use the word marriage and divorce in this context, we are talking about Islamic marriage and Islamic divorce. Yeah, otherwise it will create some confusion. Is it clear brothers and sisters? Now we have so many cases
and among the cases where the husband cohabits with his wife,
then the father in law or then the husband, we have the case, the husband approved the father in law after he cohabited with his wife. And he told the father in law that Oh, I'm regretting and I'm happy and your daughter is happy to reconcile the father is saying no, no.
We had a case like this. And then
the wife and
co urge and from her father
got married to another man.
I said to her, in that particular case, sister, how did you sleep with you?
You called ex husband. She said
I didn't know I said you slept with him as a wife or as as Ania
you slept with him as a wife? So, if you slept with him as a wife, how did you accept to marry another man?
Is it a joke? Or do you admitted that you committed adultery?
Is it the clear
color, you slept with them, you cannot just assume that Oh, he cannot have me back and you can't just marry another man ask at least off otherwise you will put yourself into troubles. And in one case, a sister was she slept with her husband and then have a father of course, that was in the bedroom in the behind the back of her father. And then when her Ada ended, her father said now you read this and it and there is another man who wanted to marry you. And he forced her or he persuaded her to what to get married to another man.
I told her now, how did you know that when you slept with your ex husband, you became pregnant. And now you allow another man to what
as the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said to water the plants of the previous man
did you hear?
So, how come maybe you became pregnant from your husband?
Your father assumed that you read the is over. And mistakenly This is another mistake, which shows the miracles of Sharia because one of the common mistakes they think that that is what three months not three periods or three purity periods. Otherwise, if it is a three period, if she was pregnant from her husband, they will know Yes, they will know
that because they did not put any attention to the period or the
the cycle. Once she finished the three months,
another man applied or proposed and her father
persuade her and and she accepted that and she got married. So I said to her now you son this son.
whose father who is his father?
She said, What do you mean? I said maybe the ex husband that you call him the ex husband? Otherwise he's very legitimate husband. She said What? What are you talking about? I said you What are you talking about? Don't put yourself into troubles. And then you ask the amount to solve the problem. Did you get the example? Did you understand the example brothers? Yeah. Okay. It is. Don't think expect that it is a rare case.
Occasionally we receive cases like this, it is a big problem.
Yes. Who is the legal husband? Or the Chava? Sorry, who is the shovel a father? for the child. Okay, so this is again, one of the main elements of the wisdom of that.
Okay. Now, there is a question here.
do we really need to have
in the beginning of Islam there wasn't
in the in the Christianity? capitalism, they don't divorce. Yeah. You had your wife. You stuck. Forever. You had a sister or a woman had her husband. He's ugly. He's so whatever you call him. stuck with him? No divorce. Same thing in Judaism? Yeah, no divorce. I said once in a in a in a conference. a rabbi came and presented marriage and divorce in in how they do it in bed Dean. So on he said, we don't have divorce. So, he said if the husband does not want to divorce his wife, the wife cannot be divorced. There is no first
No one can give the get is called Get the divorce to the wife except her husband.
And she How is that
Love is far more advanced than Judaism in this far advanced than any other system. So I said, How come if she doesn't really want? And I said, How did this mean in Islam you will see 1000s of people, including Muslims attacking Islam because of this, that Islam suppresses women, Islam does not give them their rights, Islam etc. And there is no justice if a woman wants to be away from her husband or to to get divorced, and he refuses, no one in the world can give her any way out. Yeah. And he said, Well, that is that's the Orthodox Judaism. I said, No problem, send them to the Islamic Sharia Council, we can give them money illusion.
We have no problem with that if she proves her point. My point is
that we need to understand how it works carefully. If you doubt anything, ask
if you doubt anything, and don't ask anyone ask someone who knows what he's talking about. Otherwise, he will put you in a problem. And then there is no solution. Okay, the other question is, the other point is
some people say why Allah, Allah Allah gave the right of flujo.
of reconsolidation to the husband? And he did not give a he did not give the wife any right to refuse.
Yeah. Is the question clear? Why didn't like no other give the right of rule of taking the wife back to the wedlock to the husband.
And the consent of the wife is not a condition for a valid redo. Whether she consent or she doesn't consent. He will take her back. Yes.
Hello, Adam. The wisdom behind this is as follows. Yeah. Brothers and sisters, listen to this. Imagine you had an argument with your wife. It happens. Yeah. He said I had almost with me, for I think he said 40 years and she said never. She never told me No.
yeah, someone I mentioned this in one of the he said my wife never said yes.
Now I remember I saw an old person and had, yeah. And he told me, she
made the call for my wife. I said, What happened? He's maybe in his 70s. He said she passed away just before her they wanted to take her with me to help us. She passed away. And do I really? Any I missed her and so on. He said she was a very righteous woman. He said, I lived with her more than around 50 years. And she never told me No.
I don't think that it is that but when you miss someone
whom you used to love, you will remember all the good things, which is good, which is good. At least he will make dua for her. Anyway,
imagine that you have the wisdom behind this. This is how I see it. Imagine you have an argument with your wife. And she became angry and she thinks that you did something wrong or bad to her cetera. And you left the house. And then you said okay, I really only you regretted and really I need to maybe rectify the matter and reconcile. So you texted her and she's you said, Oh, you know, darling, let us go for a dinner together.
What will be her answer?
You're not married. How do you
know? But he gives the correct answer. Maybe he because he's.
So what is the answer?
No, she will never say yes. She will say what? No.
So I lost the answer.
He said he knew the answer because he said he will tell him Get lost. So he must have received this text message.
So she would say, No, no, please listen to this, especially brothers. Yeah, she will say no.
What is the common mistake many brothers do? And this is small mistake leads to big mistakes. And that's why we need to know the psychology of each other's Yeah. Many brothers will say, she said no, or get lost. He will reply by saying, well, you don't deserve it.
It's my fault. Yeah. Or if he's not practicing, you will say I go for another one.
What will this lead to?
To bigger problem? or bigger problems? And sometimes it will be the start of the end of the marriage.
If this scenario happens, yeah, you need we as men need to understand that. Women like to be chaste.
Yeah, don't expect when she thinks that you have any doubt with her badly or something like this, or you made a mistake or, and then you regret it. And you said, Oh, darling, let us go for dinner. She when she says no, it means what?
Yes. But please beg me again to come with you.
No, seriously? This what it means? Yes.
We have this common problem in the Islamic Sharia Council. And when I asked brothers, yeah. And sometimes Yeah, and it is very common. The brother is sitting next is next to his wife. And they say, so your wife told you know, what we do? He said he either I will say no, no. Or I will just say Okay, forget it or not come back home or, okay. Today, I'm not
going on spend my night with with my family, with my parents or I am going with my friends. And this will increase the problem. I say that no, here. No. What does it mean? Most I think all the husbands that I met, they did not understand the meaning of No.
Seriously, it is a serious issue. And when I say no, it means yes, but send another text for me. Please beg me. I want to see that you are really chasing me. When I say this, all women stopped laughing.
All of them start to love. And I asked them, is this true or not? And they say yes, this is true.
It doesn't mean no doesn't mean Really? No, I don't want to do it. It means what?
Send me another text. I'm enjoying this request.
So, we have to understand this mentality this? I understood it from the legislation of what
of what we do. Yeah. Allow them as I told you, maybe this is the hekima because if you go to your wife and listened, we are migrating let us reconcile. She will say no.
Most men will feel offended. She said no. And that's why it is a common question that we received that the man said to his wife. I want her to have room. Yes. And she said no. So I said she doesn't want I left her. No, it was a mistake from you just to leave her like this. You should have persuaded her more. So sherea closed the door and said take her back she has no consent to refuse or her consent to refuse is not condition a condition for it to be valid. Is it clear? Yeah, more other
parts of the wisdom of this race. Normally, as it happened with, with with the eyes and his wife Fatima
space, one of the companions and his wife Fatima.
He got in the eye of sola Baqarah
Valentina holla Hina
Yeah, hello Judah Hello
Yeah. What is the reason for the revelation of this man had his, his sister married to one of the companions, and then he divorced her. Then he regretted
and he told her that let us reconsider.
Brother said, No, voila, he will not allow you to go back to him. And he said he She's my wife, I want her back. He said you did not respect me in the first place. I allowed you to marry her she became your garage. And you were doing this and that with her and then you did not give me any respect and you just divorced her like this. Yeah, I will never allow her to go back to you.
So a lot of them this fella taboo Nyan kitten as a data Rabobank number now. So, if they agree, leave them to get married to each other. Yeah, this is after the if the data has ended. What does that mean? It means that
the during the period, the husband can take health can take his wife out without the without her consent and without the consent of hair. Wani because most likely, her father, her brother or even her son hair Wali will feel angry that his daughter or his sister was divorced by this man whom you have respected.
Yeah. So in order for Allah
to help both of them to reconcile and to maintain the matrimonial life and marriage between husband and wife, Allah Allah Allah said you the meaning of what he said you can take her back without her consent without the consent of her family as well. Is it clear? This is part of that wisdom?
Why? The consent is not conditional for a valid rule. Okay. So this is the idea. By Allah Allah Allah says, Yeah, you have the view is Apple octo manisa una Li,
a deity Hina means
if you want to divorce women, then divorce them in the beginning of their age.
If I want to divorce my wife, I will not think I'll just bank divorced.
Yes, this what happens? No, Allah wants you to think about divorce and to time it in the correct time.
Are you following when you think about divorce and put it in the right time? Normally, this helps you to maybe avoid it. And you will not divorce unless you really took a decision after thinking to end the marriage wedlock.
So it will not be a reaction out of anger. out of frustration.
Are you following
this is another part of the hikma of how the divorce was legislated. So a person had an argument with his wife and instead of just bang divorce, he will say I want to follow what Allah says. So when is your at the start? which starts after two days, three days? Yeah. Also, or maybe after a week, or a few weeks, okay, I will divorce you then. From now until tomorrow or maybe after an hour or a friend will come to you or you will receive a good news. Yeah. By or you might hear that the coup in Egypt has ended and they put a cc in the prison instead of mercy. You will say oh my wife Come on
this good news. I have not received this news for a while and you will forget about everything. So
so the divorce should be what? A decision rather than a punishment.
Yeah, you are as if you are fighting with your wife.
Bank no think about it it is a it is a decision This is also another element had we or if we follow it we will reduce what the possibility or the divorce rate without a laptop and look at it as if it is
if you want to do it then divorce them in this process. So, either upper left oh nice I just told them
okay and if you were to do it
okay. And most of the divorces that we have seen people unfortunately don't follow the sooner
when they become angry they just
okay, either peloton is alpha panda ohana near death he was so and I did okay there are some other points that can be mentioned. But let us stop here. We already took one hour almost. inshallah we'll stop here inshallah and we will continue
explaining those rulings inshallah, in the next dose challenges echo Hello
medical Have you have questions or any questions? Yeah, normally normally if you want to encourage people to ask questions.
Normally when if I go for any lecture and and then method and I feel that the people are tired or bored for whatever reason, I will say no lecture asked me questions, then they don't know what to ask then I say to them, I always discuss two things, divorce and marriage Yeah, then you will see 1000s of questions covered or
financial transactions. Then again 1000s or hundreds of questions will come.
By the way this idea is a copyright. So when you use it, if you have a lecture and a few people have bought before you use this trick, just make the up for me. Yeah.
Let us take the relevant questions otherwise here because of time. Okay, we'll see if we'll see the other questions yes.
time, okay. The question is, if the judge pronounced dissolution between husband and wife, is there any Ada or not Yeah.
As we said that there are different types of data.
Now, we said that there is a doctor divorce where is it that after that within divorce or so called divorce, there is a day after divorce there is another type of ad after her there is a third type of ad after
that after the solution is different from the ad after divorce, okay in a few things mainly, the husband has no right to take his wife back after dissolution.
Yeah, this is the key difference.
And this is the key difference between dissolution and divorce
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Elijah, please can you pass my condolences on the condolences of the brothers here to his family please?
Well, word is his family and his wife.
You know where there are others so we can go and give them condolences. Yeah, please give it 10 call me please.
Yes, the the brother there. Yeah.
To make Paolo
we will have no married
the brother is saying what is the hikma of any women not to have?
We said that we will have no no marriage at all.
Once I had a discussion with a non Muslim about this,
and I said to him, okay, let us just think about it.
Either we give the right to divorce to one?
Or to give it to both.
Yeah, these are the two choices. If we
give it to one, then it has to be either the man or the wife. So if you will give it to the wife, men will say why not us? So
and people will say what is the wisdom behind not giving the right to divorce two men agree.
If we give it to women, then obviously we received the quad the same question.
Then the third possibility is to give it to both. Now, if the percentage of the possible percentage of divorce by men is 30%.
Yeah, definitely the percentage of divorce by women will be more than that. 5060. If we give both of them the right to divorce, then add 30 plus 60. Well, there will be what 90% of
divorce rate agree?
Because if both has the right to divorce, then the possibility of marriage break down will be
I agree. So we have to give it to a
either a man or the wife. So if we give it to the wife, men will complain.
So we have to give it to one of them.
Yeah, let alone to say that Allah is the best legislator. This is not an answer. But I mean, just before that the rational argument? Yeah, because some people just argue sometimes and they say, Oh, well, Islam is this and that. I said, Just think about it sometimes without mentioning the word Allah says for Mohammed Salah Salem says, just if you think rationally about your, your question, you will find that there is no question in the first place. Your question doesn't make sense.
Are you following?
Yeah, there are two reasons for revelation. we'll mention them inshallah. Next. Yeah, if I forget, please remind me.
Because we don't know how women will behave.
Any if this is 40%, and this is the percentage of the divorce by men.
Imagine if we have given this right to women.
Yeah. Then what would be the percentage? Maybe under the influence of the non Islamic way of life? Yeah.
Men are divorcing by by this percentage may be under the same influence. If the right to divorce was given to women, then the divorce rate would be 80%. Maybe. Did you get the logic of the answer? Yeah. But anyway, to be honest with you.
I think most men
Yeah. And I don't want to say that they are behaved.
Like, women, okay, in this particular issue, but most men, unfortunately, they are unaware of the rulings of divorce. And they are, they don't have
enough wisdom and the skills to maintain their families.
Yeah, as I told you a simple request, a simple request, or a simple question, I asked men, okay, if you had this argument with you with your wife, and then you told her, okay, let us go for a dinner or she wouldn't say know what it will be your reaction? I don't remember that a man gave me the right reaction. All of them say no, no.
Yeah. Which is a big problem, which means that men don't know how women brain psychology emotions work.
Yeah. Which is a big problem.
Yeah, same thing. Women don't know. But because we put more blame on men in divorce, because divorce at the end of the day is in their hands. Yeah. Okay.
got married, but then the woman became Muslim.
Yeah. Now we need to answer the question of the brother because your question is not related to this. Yes. Well, your question, please.
The intention of the man that has to be expressed in a particular way. So if he expresses it, but without the errata, for example, mocking her Yeah. And he says, yeah.
He says, If you do this, so if you leave my house, yeah. He hasn't made the law that she made. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, the question is, if we say that the palapa era that result in half the zodiac, the well of the husband to end the marriage would look. So in let us imagine that the husband, he pronounced or he expressed, Bella or he pronouns, not expressed, he pronounced the word Palau. Without a will to divorce, will that be considered as a valid divorce or not? This is a must. But we look to the lead along was allowed so many differences between his colors and so many details? Yeah, we cannot conclude it now. is a big muscle.
People's condition. And he does this is another long masala as well.
Yeah. Don't do it. By
Yes, yes. If
I asked you this before, I'm just wondering whether you had to develop
a different answer. How do we understand the fact that the Sahaba were the greatest generation? And they were those who would not want to displease us panels either. And so how do we understand that with the number of hiring divorces,
during the termination,
what the number of divorces that used to take place at the time? So how do we reconcile this with the fact that this is not something which is good for society, knowing that they are the first generation as well as they had? Have? They had high divorce rate, Who told you that they had high divorce rate?
For example, we have a number of the companions
through divorce many times and not just
how, when do you know that it was many times
which were written by
a divorce? How many times
had many wives not divorce? Many?
I didn't know they know.
So you need to qualify this.
I don't know. But the fact that it happened because of legislation.
Now, some secular people say that look, during the best time during the time of the prophet SAW Salem, two incidents of Zina
and in a small community, two or three year in a small community, Medina, so that is the time of the Prophet and in the presence of the Prophet and so on. Yeah, so obviously we have cases many cases of Xena. Why are you so much anyway
Yeah, we say, of course there is a response to this not the first thing Allah wanted these cases to happen to show us what? The legislation. Yeah. So a larger level Allah created the incidence is during the time of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam for a reason.
Yeah, for reasons and those reasons. Okay. But one of them is what? For legislation? otherwise we wouldn't know about the Hector facility up? Yeah, we wouldn't know about the head of the Xena either fornication or adultery. By and so on. Yes. She has Mia.
You know, a phenomenon more so than previous generations become a bigger problem now. Yeah.
You mentioned that one of the reasons is because
I don't know about. Yeah. But if you have to say, pinpoint one.
from your experience.
Yeah, I said, Yanni, the brother is asking about the reasons for divorce. Yeah.
Or for the divorce is that we see one what is one of those main reasons,
as I said, unfortunately, is because either of the parties, or both parties are not following the Islamic guidelines, or in general, they're following the non Islamic lifestyle.
Okay. And one of the main reasons is this notion of equality between men and women. This is a big problem, how I don't know whether we have time to Okay, the notion of equality, how
if the man perceives his wife, as equal to him, he will raise the expectations
So, he will not look at her as a female, with her nature's different from his nature, she is not physically fit as he is. She is emotionally different from him. Yeah, she is even psychologically different from him. And he needs to forgive her for her weakness, and he should appreciate her weaknesses or shortcomings.
So if the man does not appreciate that these differences between him and his wife, he will not appreciate that.
She is physically for example, weaker than him. And we have so many cases where the brother and his wife they fight.
Yeah, they fight physically. And he says many cases, the brother is saying she was she became physical and she was hitting me. Now when the man sees his wife doing this, he feels that she is what a competitor to him. Once the man feels that she is a competitor to him, he becomes what? more aggressive?
Yeah, so it is a big problem. So when the man feels that his wife is a competitor, head to head, he wanted to prove his muscular or nature or his manhood. And he becomes what? more aggressive? Yeah.
From the IANA sister side, or from the wife side. I always say to them, yeah, well, I had a discussion just two weeks ago with the sister.
She's a professional, works in a big firm.
to be honest with you, she might be with us here because she used to
live around, okay. And she asked me about circles and I told her and she can send, she can send them a message that if I tell any lie, he can say no, no, that is not the case. She said to me that she had some problems with her husband and her husband. One Two.
And then after how much he changed completely, completely. She so she said it must be had. I said yeah, maybe. But seriously, you What did you change in your life is
She said to be honest with you, I started to keep quiet. And I started to praise him. Yeah. And I started to
try to get closer to him. I said, this is the secret.
This is the secret.
And when I explained to her she told me to be honest. is true. This is the secret. What is the secret? Yeah. If a man acts as a man
and a woman acts as a woman means she uses have feminine qualities.
the life will continue. Okay, perfectly. Okay, now, we'll talk about man, I spoke about young men, but one point as I'm talking about sisters, sisters, if they use their feminine qualities, and I hope sisters only understand this one law he they will be able to control their husbands.
Yeah, and most women they would like when you tell them Oh, do you like to control your husband? Yeah.
Okay, um, the answer is very easy. The answer is very easy. Which is what?
Yeah, the advice for sisters use your feminine qualities
act as a female.
And I said to her and I always say to sisters, we men, yeah. We are muscular strong bodies, you will find the
big brothers and they can be 10 men. Yeah.
They can beat up 10 men, but they cannot beat
Seriously, no, it is true is not is not the answer for you just to turn off a man cannot stand any woman.
This is our weakness agree or not? They say the elephant Yeah, sees mice or feeds a mouse.
You know this?
No, no, no, a mouse. The the elephant? Yeah, run away from a mouse.
This is a reality. Okay, so an elephant, a man. He cannot stand What? A woman. I say he cannot stand What?
Woman, not a man.
So be a woman. Your husband cannot stand you.
This is the secret. So, use your feminine qualities philos you will just control your husband.
Just keep quiet. If he shouted again, he just want to assert in that you are saying sorry.
No, seriously, by some woman because of the influence of Islamic question and life is five days a year why if he shouted, why do I keep quiet? Okay, no problem shout again. He shouted, you shout, what will happen?
He wants to assert in his manhood now, he will walk
he will shout louder.
And then he becomes what? physical and it becomes a big problem.
Are we looking for solving the problems or are we looking for selfish
We are looking for solving the problem in order to what to maintain our marriages.
if the man shouted and the woman said
I'm really sorry.
He will shout again. Oh, I'm really sorry darling.
He will not shout for the third time.
If there is a violent man as they say, yeah.
They this man will leave the property will leave because he cannot. Normally we are talking about any average. We are not talking about exceptions. Exceptions always The only difference we are talking about in general
Yeah, generally speaking, so the No. So a man when he sees that his wife is saying, or a woman, especially his wife said, Sorry, she's just looking at him. He will shout again. And she said, I said, Sorry, really? Sorry.
Then he will become powerless. And if he really wants to become physical, he will leave.
He will leave.
And that's it. He will come again and he apologize. He will apologize. Yeah. Or he will become again, he will come again and he will pretend that there was no problem. Yeah, because he doesn't want to apologize. This is the secret. This is the secret. And that's why that's why
the prophets Allah Allah, Allah you it was it was Silla said, Yeah, either never in a a Serato. When he looks at her, he will feel relaxed and happy. Why? Because he feels that this wife never is not just because of her beauty. Or attraction or Yeah. Now because of her attitude.
And that's why injuria anyway, we can talk about this journey.
A lot a lot of praise to those women who yet they come closer and make the word do yeah, they want their husbands to love them.
The akuna Lisa has over you know a dude, Allah dude means the one that shows what love
Yeah, this is one of the main reasons if sisters don't do this, then marriage breakdown will really become big. And again, as we said if husbands over or raise their expectations from their wives, then it becomes really a big problem. I wanted to carry out a study regarding divorce in in the Muslim community to see in from an academic perspective, what is the main reason is it does it lie with the husband or with the wife does it lie with husbands in general or with wives?
Because I have an assumption Yeah, but I need to qualify this because I'm sure that if I express it many people will disagree with me. But we need to carry out a proper survey in order just to prove that the most of the reasons lie with either the husbands or with wives. Okay, it's like last question. Yeah.
We will ensure like supply anything shalonda next dos inshallah by any other that's philos another question.
The reason why
is there a reason why
Yeah, allow Adam there is a wisdom because
in it for
for for women who have the marriage has not been consumated Yeah. You already know man. tonisha
McAfee antivirus una familia kumala him in a Tata Duda una Yeah, so if you you Oh, you believe?
Yeah, if you divorce women before you consume it, the marriage, then there is no so in that ayah Allah de la la
la Vina Amman
here in this ayah Allah Allah Allah says yeah, you have Medina, yeah, you have to be why it is not only clear for me, I thought of one reason that because that is not the norm.
But here is the norm.
Which are not the norm here is the main case of Allah.
Allah wanted to add to this the prophet who is the representative of the oma Yeah, because this is the main case of Allah. Allah, it might be the reason Yes. You wanted to say something showhouse Yes.
We will talk about this inshallah. Next
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