The Obstacles to My Journey to Allah #05 – Anger

Haifaa Younis


Channel: Haifaa Younis


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And he was talking to human well yeah what melanoma and fowl now we'll find out the MA limitada Inaka Simeon, would you withdraw more money out to become an AI Mulayam Albula Xiaowen fcls ashba What were on iOS? Or OpenURL? As to the Kuru banaba it had eaten our Hublin I'm a little Kurama in the car integral hub probably strategy Sodre US Elite Murray, Washington optimally Sandy have only How's everyone doing?

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Please forgive me. I just have to make sure the online is working.

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I think it is. Yes, it is gonna be. So how's everybody? Do you know what we're going to be talking about today?

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No. Why No?

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No, I need to know why. No, you're not on my newsletter.

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How many are not?

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Well, then you need to be

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right. How many are not are on Janna Institute newsletter or their email, then you need to be because these both will tell you. Right. So you need to know you don't want to come it's always I mean, you can look at it this way. It's good to have surprises. But it's also good to be prepared and you know what you so let me ask you this question. How many of you they say

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I definitely have a temper.

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Temper mashallah, everybody here is like American angels. You never get upset.

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I need to see hands.

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Okay, now we are talking.

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Right? And how many says I have a temper?

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When you are when I get upset? Don't be close to me. How many?

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Meaning meaning saying things in appropriate, throwing things. Maybe slamming doors. Allah knows what comes out of your mouth? How many?

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More than I'm glad I'm talking about this. We were wondering, should we do one or two of these but we decided we're going to do

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one because the last two will be on the most important tool, which is a disease of a tongue. The tongue my tongue, which is the most important tool to get me close to Allah and the quickest one to stay to pull me away from Allah's pantile. So let's talk Bismillah what is anger?

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Okay, I'm speaking English. Right? Right. Okay. Hamdulillah. And everybody speaks English in this room. Okay, good Hamlet, what is the anger? And the people from online? Also, you're more than welcome to write and I'll read it to share it with you. What is the angle?

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I'm sorry.

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Getting out of control.

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Pain, okay. Pain leads to anger. But what is anger? What do you feel? The young lady come on in? I love to hear it.

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Getting mad.

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Right? They take the they say take the wisdom from the mouth of the children.

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So getting that, but what does it mean? What do you feel?

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loss of control. Anything loss of control of your, what you say? loss, loss of control of how you handle your hands, loss of control of how you react and say so that's a good one. Definitely. It's loss of control. What else?

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Loss of control of your thoughts, loss of control of your emotions. You're overreacting, you know? And if somebody wants to get you upset even more, what do they tell you? You're overreacting and you get even more upset.

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Right? And this is actually one of the ways to get people used to get you upset. So let's start in talking. And this is very nice, actually is one of the best books written about anger. It's very precise, concise, but covers a lot. They say the following and I'm gonna be reading and translating. They say anger is literally literally a flame from that fire.

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Shoulder to mean and now.

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It's a flame from fire. What do we normally say? Figure of speech? In the Arabic language. What do we say? There may be food, right? My blood is boiling. What do we say in English?

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Or in Urdu? Or in any other language? Spanish I don't know Spanish. Somebody has to teach me right. But it's all goes into this category. Something in me is boiling. I feel it. Right. And the end they say this is exactly what it is. It's a torch or it's a flame from

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The fire and actually when the human being gets upset that's exactly what I found those it's he makes me in you act exactly like him as if we are him because Allah Subhana Allah in the Quran said, There shall upon the double said HELOC and even nary, a HELOC automatically. You created him from clay and you created me shape on from fire. So when I am upset, I have a flame and sometimes flames. Sometimes it's all me, I am fired, true or false. And you feel it exactly. I love the emotion of the truth. That means you feel it perfect. What's happens, we're going to we're going to look into the following. What makes me upset? And what anger leads me to? And what should I do? And what is the

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opposite of it? sha Allah, I will have enough time because I want to end up with examples of those who are so much irritated. And how did they respond? Literally, when I've read this book, Allah knows how many times but every time I read this, specially this chapter, I was like, Yo, Allah give me what you gave them. So let's start from the beginning, when you get upset, what happens? Meaning how do you react? What's the result of it?

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Saying things, hurting people and usually regret. When you calm down? Most of the time? What do you say yourself? And if you are in sha Allah, all of you are humble people. And you sit down with yourself and you say, You know what? I didn't say things right? I need to go and apologize. I need sometimes to be more in control. Don't we all do that. What did the raw soiree sought was the most famous Hadith that I'm sure everybody in this room either know it by heart, or I've heard about it. What is it related to anger?

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monckton's When there's a hobby that companion came to us while they saw to dinner and ask them a question, simple Auslan advice me? And the answer was one word. Don't get upset, don't be angry. And he said, Oh, sorry. Okay, I understood. Give me second time. What was it? Same story, same answer. Laptop, third.

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What did he say third time, don't get angry. And even scholars, when you read this hadith, they tell you specifically to the sahabi. Because there's so many other companions came to Roswaal, they sought to some asking for advice. And each one he gives different. And they say obviously and by the way, we don't know the name of this companion. None of the books say which companion is this? They said the reason he said that? Because that's his problem.

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So when someone comes to you everything we will say we're going to learn in my daily life. Someone comes to me and you say, Sister heifer, you have a temper. I shouldn't get upset. But normally, what do we do? We get very upset. No, I don't. Immediately we become defensive. When I become defensive, I will never change. And I say this to myself before anyone, if you don't listen to what people have tells you, even if they are wrong, but you listen, then you go home, and think of it and filter it. And you take it and say they could be right. They could be wrong, but they could be right. Filter it that's how you learn. So they say this is a hobby, specifically with no name, has an issue with

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And that's why it was what he saw it was son three times. Which one of us and you all have to ask yourself, you don't have to show your hands. If I asked her Suarez AutoSum this question, would he have told me that?

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Would he? You answer? Don't answer here. You think of it. So that's number one. And the second Sahaba which is our beloved nominal Milhouse. He came to him told us why they sought to sell and he said what is the one thing that will for sure, protect me from the anger of Allah?

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No, not the anger of human being. What is the one thing that only one he wanted one? To the point you know, we don't have time give me the bottom line. So this is how the Sahaba came to Russia. They sought to sell Maya Angelou young Gabriella, what is the thing that will move me away in the remember this is the path will move me away from the anger of Allah. He said

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Don't be angry. Don't get upset. So that's number two. Number three Rosaria salatu salam said the following of this is very nice Hadith actually. He said the strong person will help

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Do you say you're strong? And I'm not talking strong physical. You say I'm strong. You're strong. How many say mashallah, the younger lady says I'm strong. Okay, I'm hungry. I love it. What's her name?

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Yes me my niece is yesterday Mashallah. And she didn't say Jasmine. He said he asked me the right one hamdulillah May Allah protect you? Yes me. So he said Rasul Allah is what was laser should he do surah the strong person is not the person who when in wrestling

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you know when you fight when you play? No, he said, it's not that person will actually no shut it down. Now the answer, the strong person is the person who control himself or herself when they get angry.

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They say it one more time because there's so many things you will learn from this hottie. A strong person is not the person who stormed in physical body, but the person who control look at the word man mannequin of Sylvain de lado meaning you control yourself on you get angry. What does that mean?

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Getting angry is normal.

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feeling anger is expected true or false? Is it good or bad?

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No, not always. Not always. It depends why you're upset. What made you upset? The the Roswaal is Autozone got upset? Absolutely. What made him upset? I need to hear it.

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What made him upset?

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so what's made him upset the Sahaba described him he said we knew when he got upset. That means he did because his face changes.

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What made him upset when Allah is being disobeyed?

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Now look at all of him. May Allah reward you all. I love it. All of you chose to sit on the floor.

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I love that. That's actually give us a good idea for next time. But how many of us in don't answer me this is all questions for you. When you go home, ask yourself how many times you get upset? Because someone said something. Or someone didn't say something? And how many times you got upset when you see one person disobeying Allah, publicly?

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How many disobedience of Allah we see every day.

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Where do we start? I'm talking about Muslim. I'm not talking about non Muslims. I'm talking about Muslims, the way they dress, the way they behave the way even in the masjid, do we get upset?

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They are free. They do whatever they want, Allah will take them accountable. But when someone says something about me,

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I don't say Allah who take them accountable law. How dare they say this about me?

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So remember this the best of the creation? That's a loss of Hannah Montana, described him as in Nicaragua, hello Kenobi. And what made an otter by his life Lautoka.

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Allah made an oath by the life of a suave Santosa. He only got upset when he when the Allah's rights were violated. And look at every time you got upset and put in which category.

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So the person who is strong is the person who control himself when he gets upset. I'll tell you a couple of stories

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IBLEES Shavon King to say no Musa and he stood in front of him and said the following. Musa beware of getting upset.

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Imagine this. I'm going to read in Arabic because I could see a good number of people understanding he said for me aloud will be of Raju Hadid, can I allow Sudan

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I play I turn the person who gets angry the same way when a child play with the ball.

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You have no control he gets he gets control over you once you get upset. And he said beware of woman because this is the easiest

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trap for men. And that's actually there was three of us who are lazy.

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So don't be that woman.

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I don't want you always when we learn don't think of other people. Think of you

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am I that person when I get upset shape or no I am a ball in his hand.

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Am I that woman who he said

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You were off, two and three. And he said, And beware of being myself.

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Because my sadness when the Dean

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go in faith

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anger is three kinds. Let's see which one we have. We have the access, which you all acknowledged.

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We have the knock off.

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And we have the Mahmoud they call it the praiseworthy anger. So the one that is not praiseworthy, which we just talked about, there's two things you ask yourself when this what made you upset? And how did you react?

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What made you upset? And how did you react? And then you can categorize this?

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Any of the prophets got angry?

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Who was the prophet who was one known to be angry, say the Mousavi set up? Right? Why did he get angry? Because someone said something about him?

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Because Iran did not listen to him.

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He got upset with his people, and he would upset with his brother. Right? It's in the Quran. It's not my word gonna be sort of HA HA HA HA HA ma'am. And a haka is right on volume, a lot a tibia and a fast later Emery. He said, moved Haru what made you and he in the way Allah said, it's in the Quran. If you read it, you feel the anger, your home, my brother, what's made you not act when you see them when you saw them going astray? What do we do when we see people not obeying godless, pantalla? Our own people, our own family, our own system? What do we say?

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If I say to somebody, that's when he got upset, second time when he got upset when he came back, and he saw his people what worshipping the cough

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is, this is because of him is this is because someone said something about him. That's, and then from my Sacaton. Musab, look at the word Allah used in the Quran, when the anger

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second is to be quiet, but it's not to be quiet in this case, when it is when down. What did he do?

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Calm down, thought a handle and why he was upset. So he throw the tablet took it out, took it back, and he continued his journey.

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So when you get upset two questions, what made you upset? And how did you react? If what made you upset and I'm going to catch up and I'm going to put clear other than something displeases Allah, you need to look at yourself. That's not pleasing to Allah. That's an obstacle in my path to Allah.

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Someone didn't praise me. Someone said negative about me. She did not invite me. She said this, they said this about my children. This is all not pleasing to me.

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The only time I should feel angry internally, I'm not saying externally is when I see people not obeying a loss PandaDoc I've seen people cry on they saw the disobedience to Allah, living in this day and age cry like a baby. Because they saw someone disobeying Allah in the masjid. A woman. Both were a woman with no word.

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Where are we? We get upset about ourselves then feeling it? That's natural, because Allah Subhana Allah created us differently. How do you react?

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How many in this room who the love we have a very good number. One day you're upset. Absolute for control. Show me hands.

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Full Control. Not a single word comes out. Not a single word comes out. Nothing.

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That's even less than 1%. Why?

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What makes us upset? Now the question, Massimo Bravo

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number one. Can anyone tell me number one is something we talked about two weeks ago?

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Absolutely. Said Cuber. See ego it's my ego. How dare she say this about me? How dare they don't respect me. How dare they don't look at it. Think of yourself, right? What makes you upset? How dare she doesn't listen to me or he doesn't listen to me. How dare they do that? The way the moment I say How dare my ego stalking.

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So number one is ego. Number two,

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which we're going to talk about it next

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I get upset when someone is better than me. I get upset when they have more than I do. I get upset when people praise them. They don't praise me. She did the job. I didn't get the job. Right? And what does that mean?

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A lie light. If you dig into these, to the root of it, you will be so shocked

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when I get upset when someone gets something I don't get what my reality saying.

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Your why you're not just

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you gave her You didn't give me because who gives? And who takes? Right? We don't think of it this way.

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When her husband takes care of her and you look and you compare, you get upset, who gave the husband's

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so number two is jealousy. Number three, which is really interesting. You know, what is it? Joking?

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Oh, I was just joking and then get upset. And that's why there's always a limit to the joking, especially the youth joke but don't overdo it because people get upset when I didn't mean it when it came out.

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So number three is upset is joking. Number four, think of it what makes you angry?

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argument when you need to prove you are right.

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And that's by the way, this is also the root of it is Cuban. Arrogance. And I get so upset. I told you why you're not listening to me. Who said she's not listening to what they have to say. I mean, I say this to myself. They don't say I mean, meaning I'm absolutely correct. And I get upset. argumentation. And this is why when you are arguing with someone, anything, anything sometimes I can't believe what people get upset about. And you start feeding the fire. What should you do?

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Rarely people do it. Stop the argument, move. Move you're not going to remember to do you're in the middle of the argument and especially if you're right

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specially if you're right. And you know you're right and a good possibility you are right. And I was sorry salatu salam said whomsoever Eve argument leave when Tara can move out or you leave the argument and you know you're right. Well, while you're right, what's the reward?

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Get a palace in Jannah

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how many of us does it and then you say I was right. And you'll come out and you're so happy that's Kibber speaking

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that's keep an eye out again speaking

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what else make us upset?

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I'm sorry. I can't do

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this is it because it's you?

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Because I think I'm better what do they compare me with somebody else? It's all arrogance the root of it number one is why did I say please got upset

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as Judy mahalo Tata you know what? I am going to prostrate to whom You created from mud.

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It's anger. Why? Because I'm better

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it's all route to arrogance. Please forgive me. I don't mean anybody in this room. But this is if you do dig deep down you will find this and this is why one of the treatments of anger is what when you immediately get angry What do you do? What do they advise you other than to do is you put your cheek on the earth

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and I always wondered why is that? They said put your cheek not your face is your cheek feel it? That's who you are. That's who I am. That's where we started and that's where we will end you like it or you don't like it What were we talking the other day? Right Yelena

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Minh Ha ha Kona coffee Hanoi to confirm it. We created you it is earth and what's Earth from dust.

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So this is why if you

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think if you can think reality, you will respond very differently.

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And Allah said it twice in the Quran. He praised them. And look what he said. It's an Ali Imran. Some of you may know it was called Amina Lavon. While it has been Ali NAS, Allahu Akbar, Mycenae Let me translate look what he

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said while causing the light those who control and contain their anger. He didn't say those who doesn't get upset. He didn't say those who does not get angry. Rather those who contain their anger, meaning it's normal. It's actually a protective makeup mechanism for us to have the anger. It's actually a protective feeling.

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But the the downside or the anger becomes negative is when I respond in a way not pleasing to Allah. So he said, we'll call the mean, and those who control their anger, one and two, which is the harder one, have you not in us, you forgiven parts and people who doesn't make mistake? Who's perfect in this room? For sure, it's not me. Anybody in this room is perfect. You can't claim it. You claim it but you're not. Right? What a half in and in us, and then you move to the next station, or LA hombre hit boom Icynene then I move to the station of those of accidents. And I would qualify to the love of Allah. Do you want Allah to love you? You want to be among those lists? That Allah will check and

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says, Oh, you're missing go you want yes or no?

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Then you need to do these. What are called the mean allele. I love this versus an Alia Imran will have phenol in us. And the next one, Allah says in surah, two Sure. Well, levena adama, how do you do on your field? When they get upset? That means getting upset is expected. The feeling is expected so don't feel bad? Don't tell me who doesn't get upset. I'm going to tell you everybody get upset. But the act but the difference is what do you do with the feeding? While living it is Mr. hollybrook? Those who get upset what happens? Who knows the end of it?

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It's amazing. The end of homie out here on a forgive? How hard is that? Someone curse you? Someone as we say in the Arabic language Shusha Hickey dunya. Meaning he literally he or she? They said everything? Let alone it's not true in public about you. And then you come and says, I forgive you. How many can do that?

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No hand.

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I don't see even a finger, other hand finger as anyone does it in their did this in their life? Once at least, at least and you were so upset, like the blood is boiling?

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Then what do you like and then you need to do it all the time. One time is not enough. One time is not enough. Now, they said quick practical solutions. Number one. Remember what I just shared what Allah subhanaw taala said about those who can control the anger, this needs reminders, you need to remind yourself especially if you are a person who has temper. If you are a person who has temper,

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when was the last time you lost your temper completely.

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If you're going to tell me yesterday, you're in big trouble.

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If you're going to tell me I don't even remember Alhamdulillah

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so again, it's individual and don't tell me because it doesn't matter what it is because the answer is the question is not why did you get upset? The answer is when did you get upset? And how did you react? So number one, think of all the virtues all the virtues you know when you're fast? How hard is it to fast? It's very difficult. And Ramadan here What made you do it? Because you were thinking of the rewards the same thing and you need to remind yourself not one at the moment when you are angry before so it becomes natural. You know when you have it ready and then it comes out right away. That's number one. Number two,

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this is how I always did it and I was taught

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think of you and me, all of us how many times you have got upset how many times we upset Allah subhanaw taala

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how many times you have said things stop pleasing.

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How many times you have done things not pleasing. True or False? Anyone can claim never.

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Nobody. What did he do to us?

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What did he do to us? Nothing. Hello, you actually long NASA be the only medium whether you love NASA the Marchesa Metallica Hello Bobby And if Allah will take us accountable for everything we do there is nobody will stay moving on this earth. That's so large.

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And he did it at the end of summer.

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Think of a wasp hunter who Tada that's why we're doing this. If you're always having a lie inside your heart, when these woman's comes in, he would come to your rescue specially when you're controlling it for his sake.

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So think how many times are lost Fantana how many times I've made them upset if I make a list daily, or why the list one to be none and didn't

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start from the morning to the evening. What I said what I didn't say what I did, what I didn't do, what I all day, his rights, how many I violated in a day, how many rights of people I violated, which means I bought violated his rights, and he still feed me and forgive me and pardon me and wait for me, come, come. Just just repent. You're there.

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And I cannot forgive someone because they said something about me. Okay, they were wrong.

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They will

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think of it this way. And don't you ever and this is practical? Don't you ever talk to someone? That's the answer. You will hear from them. And you did not say a word to them.

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And you stayed quiet. Don't you do that? Because that's what your neffs will tell you. You want someone to come and tell you. Come on. Come on.

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We've grown up. That's done. Done. They're done that windier? You know this, this phrase? Okay, you grew up. Okay, we all do that. You want someone to what?

00:31:31--> 00:31:44

Calm you down and make you think of your shortcomings. So you don't see the other person shortcoming. Huge. The other thing, be aware of the result of it.

00:31:46--> 00:31:55

homes being destroyed because of anger. How many times you've heard that whole divorce completely three times because of anger.

00:31:57--> 00:32:04

And Dun, dun look at where we are living. What is this own mass shooting is all about anger.

00:32:05--> 00:32:31

It's all about anger. But then because there is what kinds and there is guns available. People react this way. Right. Other parts of the world, they react differently. But it's anger. The root of it is anger, whether it's discrimination, whether it's injustice, whether whatever it is, but it's anger, the root of it. So you need to think what this will lead to, and what will lead when you calm down.

00:32:32--> 00:33:03

practical tip, those of you who have a temper, you need to fast moment, not Ramadan, not even Monday, not even three days a month, at least Monday. Interesting. One of the best ways to control your nerves is to fast because you're not giving her what she wants. And food is a big thing for the nerves, let alone Tea, coffee things. So you need to fast a lot. And to you need to spend time alone.

00:33:05--> 00:33:16

It's so hard for the neffs to stay alone what I mean alone, alone, not alone in the room with this or whether that's not alone. That's not physically with people, but you're with people spend time alone.

00:33:18--> 00:33:23

And that will calm you down. One thing. Another thing is what made you upset.

00:33:25--> 00:33:32

You need to think of this. This is called Maha Sabha. You take yourself accountable. What made you upset?

00:33:33--> 00:33:38

And then you come down to yourself. And you say how many times I've said something similar to people.

00:33:39--> 00:34:02

If we apply this one Hadith, this is personal. This is me. I say if people apply it, we all will live in peace. What is this hadith? If we want you one free everyone, every Muslim, let alone every human being. If that person applies it, we all will live in peace. If each one of us can anyone think of it.

00:34:04--> 00:34:47

Yeah, you'll know how to handle your heavy myofibrillar NFC. You will not be a true sim. Unless your love to your brother or sister. What do you love for yourself? You don't want to be insulted. Don't insult people. You don't want people to say negative things about you don't do it. You don't want people to not treat you well. Don't do it. Don't expect when you treat people not well, people will treat you well. This is only angels in a few very few people. reality it is not. So if you apply all these that's why we're learning together. Because these these not this kind of knowledge needs to be practiced. It's not you write it down. You know when we do our year of knowledge course that is

00:34:47--> 00:34:54

almost going to be done again in two weeks. The only subject there is no exams in it at all is the test.

00:34:56--> 00:34:58

I said I don't care what you score.

00:34:59--> 00:34:59

Because that's theory

00:35:00--> 00:35:45

I need you to tell me what happened to you or a character at home? What does people around you in the house say after you learned all this? Did you change? Did you become closer to Allah externally and internally? Is your thought has your thoughts change as your reactions change? Practical, say I will do lambda shape ontology move. This is the best way I have seen it move. And don't answer, literally Zipit. And if you can, if you cannot ask, I want to teach you this, you know, when he shut down? I'm sure you all have had this. We said I couldn't say a word. That's what you need. Say how do we love Shakeology? If you can remember, go ahead and do why?

00:35:47--> 00:35:48

Why model?

00:35:50--> 00:36:23

Because anger is fire. And although is water. So every time you hear Do you don't live in a very cold weather. But when it gets cold, and you turn on your fireplace, right if you did it with real wood, right? Or you do a bonfire, how do you turn it off? Just put water on it or you put dust on it? Right? Same thing. Anger is fire. So I go and do what I found personally also, when you say I want to be learnership ontology. Literally, it's a fire extinguisher.

00:36:25--> 00:36:28

When you really say it, I want to be Amish. I found Reggie law era.

00:36:30--> 00:36:57

What happens because you seek refuge from Allah to protect you from Shavon. And all anger is from shaitan. So how do we learn shape ontology? Do change your position? Standing sit, sitting stand, and the best way is move. Especially if you're in arguments with people with person move. And then the Rosario saw to a ceremony so someone very angry. They were arguing? What did he say?

00:36:58--> 00:37:05

And then we'll Kalamata know, Allah, Allah mojado. I know one word, he said it you will not get upset. What was this?

00:37:08--> 00:37:10

That's why we have anger problem in this room.

00:37:11--> 00:37:25

Because you don't know what to do with it. How do we learn how to shape somebody who doesn't know this word in this room? Seek refuge from Allah. Literally what you know, what's the ultimate lampshade? Papaji mean? We just saved very casual what does it mean?

00:37:28--> 00:37:30

I am seeking refuge from home

00:37:31--> 00:37:34

from a law. From what?

00:37:35--> 00:37:59

From che fine. So, will Allah not respond? Will Allah not help me? Yes or no? Of course. Yes. And can Allah is Allah capable of controlling shaper or push him away from my life? Absolutely. So keep saying this. And the more you see this, like become a habit it comes when you need it.

00:38:00--> 00:38:10

This is what you need to train yourself vicar for loss pantalla if you're always in a state of decline, it comes when you need it. It comes natural when you need it.

00:38:12--> 00:38:15

Now, let me share with you some examples.

00:38:17--> 00:38:20

Opposite what is opposite anger?

00:38:21--> 00:38:48

Forbearance and he forbearance. Right. And he said, Well, how many of you think you can change? Show me hands? I can change for sure. Okay, hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen don't lose hope is that water or soiree saw to Samsung in MLA muita. And you will help me with the hello and there is this actually applied or sub rabita sub basically, everything is changeable.

00:38:49--> 00:39:25

You want to learn, you need to learn. You want to be patient, practice, study and practice. And you guess what, you'll fail or fail and get up and of change will take time but it will and there is one of the sahabi called the National juvenile case. This is the most famous Hadith about the Sahaba the opposite. That's a horrible, he looked at him Roswaal risotto. So think of this Think of yourself as a Roswaal as autosound come to you and says there is two things in you i i Allah and me loves

00:39:27--> 00:39:39

two characters in you. That's what he said pika hospital. You have been mulawa rasuluh there's two characters in you, Allah and it was what he saw for some loves it.

00:39:40--> 00:40:00

And he said, What is it jasola He said Al Hamer will enter forbearance and patient. There's a difference between foreign parents and patient, patient he had meaning opposite rushing things. And then he you don't lose your temper. And then he asked him and he said is it some

00:40:00--> 00:40:17

think this was given to me? He said yes. It was given to me. He said that hamdulillah look after the Sahaba he said, Look at the humbleness. He said to hamdulillah Allah gave me something He and His Rasul loves. He didn't say I worked on it, of course I am.

00:40:19--> 00:40:37

The way we are, praise ourselves and we think we are and he said to hamdulillah two characters, I'll help, forbearance, forbearance. Well, Anna, be patient, take your time, don't rush to things. Now I'm gonna give you the examples audio already.

00:40:39--> 00:40:42

Examples is going to blow your mind. Number one,

00:40:44--> 00:41:05

save not belonging at best, you know, who's the one that best? Everyone in this room knows, is the cousin of Swati. Santosa right. He's the younger man who are Ross Wallace AutoSum made it for him that you're teaching this D and the inner meaning of the Quran. They call them Hebrew ummah. He called like the ink of this.

00:41:06--> 00:41:09

So this is Abdullah knob does not you and me.

00:41:10--> 00:41:12

And a man cursed him publicly.

00:41:13--> 00:41:23

Show shettima This is how they say it in Arabic curse publicly, because this story is related to us why other people are shut Amerasian Abbas

00:41:25--> 00:41:45

and he listened for a mock Adama Kanata when the man finished, look at me and you when someone starts saying negative one word we respond 20 If not 100? He didn't say a word for the market OMA quality he finished. What did he say?

00:41:46--> 00:41:54

He looked at a creamer. I Chroma is a follow up? He said yeah, it crema. See if this man needs anything we can do for him.

00:41:56--> 00:42:02

Vanessa Ross Rajan rasa, the man put his head down, was to her.

00:42:03--> 00:42:04

And he felt so ashamed.

00:42:06--> 00:42:08

This is a nod now buzz about you and me.

00:42:09--> 00:42:15

Right, and he cursed him publicly. Imagine this is here we are right? And who are we?

00:42:16--> 00:43:00

And say that word my boss comes in and one of us jumped on him. Not a word he didn't answer. And not only he didn't answer. He not only forgave him, but how did he respond? With axon? Excellent. Do you have anything we can do for you? Look at the second move out here. Who was the Khalifa the president? Right? Shiratama who canal man Sheridan, he cursed him. And he said very harsh word to him in public. Faculty the law. This is the President this is the Khalifa. They it was said to him look at how people sometimes don't help you in control. He said they said to him, why don't you punish him lower? What he said,

00:43:02--> 00:43:10

I feel so ashamed that I don't have enough patient to accommodate one person get upset.

00:43:12--> 00:43:35

See their their level of manners, how they look at themselves, how they take how they hold themselves, higher standards, not people themselves. He didn't say this person who was he said I should be more patient. He didn't say how dare you say this look at you said I should be more patient. I feel so ashamed. I can't be more patient.

00:43:37--> 00:43:52

Now, a man came to abuse. This is so beautiful. A young man actually our old boy came to us with a lot of hurry. So he company and he was dragging with him a sheep of Syedna

00:43:53--> 00:43:59

and in front of who say no Buddha, he hits the sheep and he broke her leg.

00:44:01--> 00:44:04

What is that for? What is that for?

00:44:05--> 00:44:12

And and he said who did that? The boy looked at his face and I did it

00:44:15--> 00:44:15

and then

00:44:17--> 00:44:18

say now Moodle

00:44:19--> 00:44:36

at all. He said I did it purposefully. So you can upset and you will hit me. Look how irritating This is. This is so you know we're offering right not you and me. This is a boy. I did it so you get upset. And you he?

00:44:37--> 00:44:38

What did he answer?

00:44:40--> 00:44:45

Oh, he said I did it so you get upset so you hit me so you will sin.

00:44:46--> 00:45:00

Wow. How annoying is this? Look what he said. He said by Allah. Whoever sent you to make me upset. I'm going to make an even more upset. Go

00:45:00--> 00:45:02

All you are free, and he gave him money.

00:45:06--> 00:45:07

Where are we?

00:45:08--> 00:45:24

And look at the next one. I didn't even hurt him. This was a Sahabi, the son of Hottel, a boy and man kept cursing him publicly. And he is quiet. Not a word. He finished, the man finished adding looked at him.

00:45:25--> 00:45:31

If you still want to say more, go ahead. Please say it. What was he saying?

00:45:33--> 00:45:44

Cursing. He said, If you still have some go ahead and see it before people come in. Because of the people come in, they will say we don't have good manners.

00:45:47--> 00:45:59

You are also quiet. Like these people living in a different century. They are not they're human beings. They're like you and me. A law created them the same way you and I What is the difference?

00:46:02--> 00:46:06

What is the difference? Don't tell me I can't be like them. Why not?

00:46:08--> 00:46:25

Why not? If anyone should be more upset than us or them, because these are the companions of RUSADA Santosa. Those who Allah's pantalla described the Allahu annual model one on one is pleased with them and they are pleased with Allah, not you and me. I look at this one.

00:46:26--> 00:46:33

And man King requested to be with the saint Noma. This is actually very famous a story,

00:46:34--> 00:46:35

say normal.

00:46:37--> 00:46:45

And he was the Khalifa. So a man came to his modulus to his sittings. Who sits there.

00:46:46--> 00:47:20

If you only read about say no more, who sits there? The like or say Now tomorrow, say Naveen, the major Sahaba and say, you know, he actually this man is the uncle of one of the people who are very close to say normal. He came from outside and he asked from out of town. And he asked his nephew, as Tom will make sure he allows me to come to visit him. And he came in and that's that's my cell phone with no ice. So the man entered in public stood in front of save an hour and said the following. Yeah, I'm your nominee.

00:47:22--> 00:47:31

The leaders of the believers. Call me Ron nominee. Whoa. I actually didn't say you have not heard Bob. Look at the lack of

00:47:32--> 00:47:49

the son of a kebab. This is a nine by Allah. Look what he said. Not all tienen. Jason, you don't give us enough? When I talk with Bill Adams and you do not rule between us with justice. Who is that?

00:47:51--> 00:48:40

Who is he saying to? Omar? What is the nickname of Sade now? What is that follow coming? What is it follow me, the one who can very clearly separate justice from injustice. That's why it's called fallen right located in the human body to kind of Homer a la Soiree. Salatu Salam said, If there will have been a prophet after me, it would have been so this man in public like imagine this is me here and I am not saying no, I am not his fingernail. And this person comes in and and you are all I love you but you are not Sahaba I wish you are and I wish for you but we are not right. So a woman or a man comes in here and start saying this to me. One lie, you do not give us enough. And you will

00:48:40--> 00:48:46

not do not judge between us with justice. What happened to say no.

00:48:48--> 00:49:02

He was so upset. They could see it in his face. This is how they know the son the young man who this is his uncle came to save normal huddled note pace. And he said yeah, I mean,

00:49:03--> 00:49:30

listen to this. Yeah. Ameerul Momineen, the leader of the believers, Allah said to His Messenger, look how they speak. Allah set to the messenger it is salatu salam, and he could this is all the love what more we Maha roof What are you but I needed your healing. This isn't sorted out of who the love meaning make your character as for them

00:49:31--> 00:49:55

in general, he said this to Ross Juarez autosen, who they love, make pardoning people is your is your character. What more will off and enjoy what is acceptable in the community? And the third one, this is why he said it. Well I realized I needed JD stay away from the ignorance by Allah he is ignorant. What it says Muhammad

00:49:56--> 00:49:59

and you read this if that interests you. I think I feel about this verse.

00:50:00--> 00:50:01

Do a lot manager was

00:50:03--> 00:50:05

once he heard it, he didn't do anything

00:50:07--> 00:50:25

did not respond. And he can and he's able, well, as we say, and he has all the right to get upset say no more doesn't, does not judge people buy in junk justice. This is his character. He didn't say a word. didn't say a word.

00:50:26--> 00:50:31

Again, we're already listened to this one, you know, I'm gonna grab that as is.

00:50:32--> 00:50:40

Right. We mentioned his name. So he's the fifth Khalifa. So the owner of NAB Drassanes, one day entered the masjid in the night.

00:50:42--> 00:50:46

Dark, there was no electricity, right? And there was a man sleeping.

00:50:47--> 00:51:00

And as he was walking, right, he stepped on his hand or sheet. The man jumped and looked at him and says, Are you crazy? Emoji noon? And another version says,

00:51:02--> 00:51:16

Are you blind? This is one of my glasses. He's the leader. And of course all was with his guards, and the guards tried to jump on them. So in our homes, as he says, What's wrong, why you're jumping on the map?

00:51:17--> 00:51:21

He asked a question. Are you blind? And I said, No.

00:51:24--> 00:51:28

Are you crazy? And I said, No. What is the issue?

00:51:30--> 00:51:52

What a heart they had your Allah what connection with Allah they had imagine that somebody say this to you or to me how we will respond. But if you didn't know what she said to me, this is the first thing when you come and say, calm down. It's okay. But you don't know what she said to me. Couldn't he said that? Simple. The he asked me a question. Are you crazy? I said, no.

00:51:53--> 00:51:59

You're hola look at this one original Illumina who said, This grandson or Francois de salatu salam.

00:52:00--> 00:52:19

And he met a man. And again he cursed him sub. Kirsten, this is the grandson of Arasu, Elisa Tosa. Danny, the sorry, the great grandson, the son of a Hassan what's what's the lineage he has? Right? Who's his grandmother?

00:52:20--> 00:53:05

So you the father, who is the grandfather? Satan. Ally. Right. And this is their son. So am I they they will walk in and metamath and demand Kirsten for Saba for authority. They will happy people run. And they trying to get to that man for Colin island. So your nanny says, wait, wait, what's the issue, man? Then he came to the man. What like when I read this, I was like, I tried to imagine this. Like, close my eyes and I want to speed it. So he said, Hold on, hold on, hold on a second. Imagine this here. Right? This is just a second. And he walked to the man right and says, are you ready to what he said? This is the great grandson of Russel Wallace. AutoSum he said what you don't

00:53:05--> 00:53:08

know about us way more than what you said.

00:53:10--> 00:53:20

masseter muscle suit your anchor actor min min and Marina actor? What has not been shown to you way more than what you just said? What is this called?

00:53:23--> 00:53:33

Humility. Humbleness Masucci Ramka absolute minimum every now. And then he said, Do you need anything we can help you?

00:53:35--> 00:53:36

Anything we can do for you?

00:53:37--> 00:53:38

First of all, do

00:53:39--> 00:54:08

their job became so shy. And then say daddy had like a homies or like an outer garment? And he throw it on the man the man Corsten in public. And he gave this to him. And then he said give him 1000 darlin, which is like more than $1,000 What did the man says? And he kept saying it by Allah. I witnessed you're from the lineage of Roswaal

00:54:11--> 00:54:23

it's by actions is by character. This is what I say always to myself. Number one, everybody is nice to the people who are nice. If you are not nice to those who are nice, you have a huge problem.

00:54:25--> 00:54:29

Where is my manners comes in. Where is my dean come in.

00:54:31--> 00:54:59

Is when people who are not nice to me, that's where my dean comes in. That's what Allah taught me comes in. That's where a lot I see him first comes in. And that's why sometimes unfortunately, you see and I spell out very recently I got this comment from someone I got an A question. And the question included this common she's done very uncomfortable putting a job and I was like why you should say I really want to do it. I just see that people will practice the dean or not very

00:55:00--> 00:55:03

Nice. And I responded that's not true.

00:55:04--> 00:55:33

Because there's people who doesn't practice practice that in and they're also not nice. So let's divide people to nice and not nice. But it really hurted me. Why? Because we don't want that shouldn't be at all. Because we are different. This is our deen These are real people. This is real people. The last one I'm going to end and then we can open it for questions and answers. A man came to a have a 9111 but I'm gonna be and he said a man Kirsty

00:55:35--> 00:55:40

you know what he said to him? Shaitan didn't find anyone else to send you to me.

00:55:44--> 00:55:45

Did you get that?

00:55:46--> 00:55:48

How many of us will answer this one?

00:55:51--> 00:55:55

May Allah subhanaw taala teach us this your biani La Molina

00:55:56--> 00:56:06

Aktiva unbelted about in our submission now but a human that are living and living. So Burnaby sobre naqada cliche in Collier

00:56:07--> 00:56:26

b1. So I seek refuge from Allah that I teach you something remind you of Allah, and I don't do it. If I've said anything Correct. is from Allah subhanaw taala. If I said anything that's not correct. Is from me and my ignorance. And may Allah subhanaw taala teach us all I think the the even the mic felt bad today.

00:56:28--> 00:56:41

Please, any question, any comment? I'd love to hear to the youth. Is that's a big problem with the youth. Not the youth only the young people like children. Have you seen children? When they get upset? It's mine.

00:56:42--> 00:56:49

Right? It's my iPad. It's my toy toy three, four years old. Fight.

00:56:50--> 00:56:55

So anybody wants any comments? Any questions? I know it was hard on you.

00:56:56--> 00:57:00

Yes, please. Sister Gabby. It's not working.

00:57:01--> 00:57:02


00:57:09--> 00:57:11

appropriate to do what?

00:57:13--> 00:57:15

Is it appropriate? I'm sorry, I didn't hear

00:57:17--> 00:57:50

the time where it's okay to like speak up for yourself. Defend yourself. Very good question. The question has to be two parts is how I will say when is okay to get upset. And we said that when the right of Allah has violated when the raw Swati salatu salam rights is violated, then I need to get upset. And if I don't I have a problem. But there is no excuse never look at what I said never an excuse to respond to that feeling inappropriately

00:57:52--> 00:58:04

at all, and I shared with you the examples, even when Allah is right is violated. If I respond in a harsh way, then I violated the right of Allah say.

00:58:05--> 00:58:51

So this is why they always say the economic Habima who female rufa let it be the way you enjoying good in a good way. Well, I economic Kabul Malou. Freeman, Cara, and let it not be the way you enjoying good in a harsh way. So there is no excuse to be harsh. It doesn't matter what the person in front of me have done. Because then I'm the same. I am the same. What is the difference? Muslim or non Muslim, younger all done the same. And this is why when I get upset and I know I am not going to be able to control this is what we just said. Leave. Don't say anything. Literally Zip it, zip it, then you are fine. And if you feel that you are going to be throwing something or slamming doors

00:58:51--> 00:59:05

or whatever, don't do any of these things, go and make cold or go outside, breathe, do any of these things, but don't let it build up. And definitely don't call someone that someone will make you even more upset.

00:59:06--> 00:59:26

Yeah, unfortunately, unfortunately, how many people you call and they tell you come on in hamdulillah Allah, Allah sent you a way for you to get closer to him. Respond, don't respond. We don't have to come on who's perfect. How many times you hear this? No. What is usually

00:59:28--> 00:59:46

so yes, there is reasons to get upset, but it's the way we react to the feeling that there is no excuse to be not in the proper way. ACARA Swati Salah Tosa How did he respond when they violated his right? The violence does they violate his right?

00:59:47--> 00:59:52

Absolutely. You name it. They call him names. Did they throw garbage on him?

00:59:53--> 00:59:58

Did they kick him out of his city? What did he do?

01:00:00--> 01:00:03

You all know what the Hyundai also does syrup, but this is here

01:00:05--> 01:00:05

not here.

01:00:08--> 01:00:08

Any question?

01:00:10--> 01:00:11

Yes please.

01:00:12--> 01:00:15

The examples that you shared with us they were

01:00:17--> 01:00:18

they were

01:00:19--> 01:00:23

well over person in power to person in power

01:00:26--> 01:00:28

is power to respond.

01:00:31--> 01:00:39

Okay, so the person in power so that Okay, so the scenario person is coercing a person and there is a person of power. So

01:00:45--> 01:00:45


01:00:46--> 01:00:46


01:00:50--> 01:00:50


01:00:53--> 01:00:58

Okay. So these are the examples that you should Yes. If you

01:00:59--> 01:01:06

give us an example where it is a person who does not have the power to respond

01:01:07--> 01:01:18

if he's feeling anger, so let's say, a boss and employee, what do we normally do this is I'm glad you brought this. Because when we don't have a power, what do we do? We say nothing because we're scared.

01:01:19--> 01:01:45

This is how I'm glad you said this. Because they say always, the anger is when you think you have power. You think and when you don't have power, it gets sad. I wish I can have I wish I have said that. I wish I can say that. In both ways. In both ways, the feeling needs to be tamed. And when I don't have power, I'm not gonna respond. Or these days, what do we do? We go and write on the internet.

01:01:48--> 01:01:58

And we go and say things which is, I wouldn't say all of it is not right. But there's a lot of exaggeration. That's an appropriate response. I hurted people.

01:01:59--> 01:02:06

And the best way I have found it personally, the best way is I always think how much Allah has angry with me.

01:02:07--> 01:02:21

And he still feed me and he still gives me life. And it still gives me a roof and it still gives me all this and I keep doing it. And one person one time said whatever, whatever the end of the world.

01:02:23--> 01:02:28

I think we all and everybody in this room myself into I think we all need to know our reality.

01:02:29--> 01:03:15

Who are we? Human Being? Please forgive me when nothing? Nothing. Sooner or later. Where are we going to be? Where are we going to be? And six months after where we are we what are we going to be? Nothing. If you open a grave after six months or a year what are you going to see? Nothing except some bones. That's where we are. Right. And man, I'm glad I remembered this story. It says it's an arsenal bustling. Right? And he was a prince came in with all his entourage walking in the street and hasn't been sitting or sitting and people were sitting. People stood up, hasn't Boston did not stood up? Because that's not the Sunnah of Ross Wallace autoset and the press got so upset.

01:03:17--> 01:03:18

Don't you know who I am?

01:03:20--> 01:03:27

hassled bacillary How did he answer? Look at it. He said of course I do.

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And he did not put him down. Personally, there's no personal attacks. He said now and I'm gonna say it in Arabic or translate. I have a woman and in North Fatone Adira.

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Or sister Kunal dzifa. Tune in Mr. Internet not for to Madeira was such a coup de Fatone Khedira. Over in Houma, la zero.

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Of course, I know who you are, you started as a spoil the sperm. And you will end up as a dead corpse. And in between, please forgive me, you carry the faeces.

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That's us.

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It's true. He didn't attack him personally. He didn't say you when you when you you said General.

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Again, we all need to know who we are,

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who we are reality of us who you are, who you are. And then we come down. The problem also of anger is because we live in a very comfortable life.

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Everything we want, we get it. Literally when I still really lie. When I go to the grocery store, I stood up and I want to buy an Apple. It's a choices. I was like I don't be why do I have all these choices? Can I just have one? The more we think we have and we can and we get access to we think we are entitled and the more we are entitled we get upset when we don't get it or when people didn't give us what we

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think we are.

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So the best way is when we take time and think who we are and think Who is Allah?

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Think Who is Allah? Subhana? May Allah teach us your OB? I mean, there's a question from online just to give the online people their due, right? They said, how do you balance between being forbearing for the sake of Allah, and being repeatedly Dishonored and oppressed?

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The balance because people think you're weak.

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When you don't respond, right, they think your week. What is the balance?

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If you learned anything, this is the fifth week. This is the fifth, I think it's the fifth week, if you learned anything from the last five weeks. Can anyone think of everything we learned from the beginning? So here I am, I'm controlling my anger, bit for the sake of Allah. But people think I'm oppressed, I'm weak, or I feel it or Shavon comes and tells me you're weak. You're gonna keep taking it. What do you respond to yourself? What do you say?

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I'm sorry?

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I don't care. I'm doing this for Allah. It's good to answer but it is it really that's how we respond? No. Right? You need to think of the reward of what you are doing. And don't see people think of this. You only see Allah subhanaw taala. He seen me upset. He seemed my rights being violated. And he is the one who can give me victory. And I am controlling my anger for him. Subhanallah I don't say a word again. It's not saying is the best and will lie and this is for Fatima online. When you do this for Allah, one line, he will give you your rights.

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It's going to come to you just be patient. It's going to come to you on a plate of God if you want to use this word. And those of you who have done that, and felt that you know what I'm talking about whether it's at work, whether it is in your home, when you don't do anything, how Allah will give you dignity. Man Kenny Riedel is phenylacetate Allah He Jamia, you want to be dignified, secret with Allah. Don't seek it with people. They don't have it. It's only he who has it one time. Someone I know what asked, Tell me what you want. I'll give it to you right now.

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And this came from a person who is very wealthy and capable and ruining. And this was a woman.

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She responded, I want one thing that you don't have it.

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Said I want Jana and you don't have it.

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That says

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that you're dignified with Allah, You know what I'm saying? let's elevate ourselves. Let's not be any, let's not be a linear him. Like our resolve is low. We accept anything, you know, Allah, dignified us as human, let alone as a woman as mother and then as a Muslim.

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And lets people think whatever the how many times you people look at you and think you are absolutely oppressed because you are hijab. I shared some stories with you the other day, or you know, you I need to prove it to people. Please forgive me know who know, Allah will. Allah will defend me in Allah you Daffy on the Levina Avenue. Allah defend those believers. I don't I don't like the word I don't care, because it's yours in a negative way here. But I my focus is on Allah. What he thinks of me and he will defend me, I will do things for him. He will defend me and that is it. And what people think let them think could be right as we shared and they could be wrong. A lot

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of teach them take it as simple as this. Don't take it personally. He This is the problem when we take things personal and we think we are entitled This is how we respond.

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Any other thing? I don't know what is even the time Okay, five more minutes and then we have to stop Yes.

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More than welcome. I loved it today. You will also focus today. I think it hits home today. Right? I can see that. And even online mashallah we had a lot of people are many comments. Yes.

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Can you speak up please, going up with the other questions?

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What about the case? For examples of use, like in the home where no one else is going to step in or no and for like a crime for example, especially in my mind, maybe against children for you as a mother. You need to get up.

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You need to get upset but find the solution. Right. So there is no

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abuse, we see it Subhanallah in the house, leave, leave, take them away right away. Of course, this is the

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ungrazed anger.

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If I see people getting abused and I do nothing, then that's absolutely right. My mood. This is not praised. But me responding in a harsh way, it will make things worse. I need to think of solutions. How I'm going to protect these children, take them away leave. That's when I felt the woman always when woman comes to me, should I leave this marriage? First question I ask is there is a physical abuse, physical abuse is dangerous. Because you can respond in a very harsh way. And you don't know the response. That's why people get killed. And that's why children get abused. So absolutely, there is things I need to respond my my point if you take nothing today, you need to be angry, but it's

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the way you respond to that needs to be changed. That needs to be done in the way that pleases Allah. But I can't be numb. I see all this abuse happening. It's not my business than I am note that this is not what pleases Allah. They call it a lira Tula. When you feel angry for Allah. It's absolutely praise or how do you respond? Take actions immediately and plan leave it take them with you leave better than things happens. And may Allah protect everybody? What is this young lady asked me what's question you

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I can't hear you with this beautiful pink mask

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he was angry but he never acted. They could see it in his face with a question the youngest How old are you? Yes me.

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Mashallah, she's nine. And look at the question. Has a Roswaal risotto son ever been angry? Yes. So how about we always described him, they said we know it in his face.

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at all, he never hits with his hand. He said two things. Sahaba when they described, we're actually going to have

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in our year of knowledge, the year two we're going to teach Shama and him at a site or center. They said in his hand, there's two things he never done.

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Does anybody know two things? He never used it to hit anything. And he never shook your hand of a woman

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never never

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it with his hand there's two things that are slightly sought to some did not do never hit with his hand and never shook the hand of a woman

01:12:47--> 01:12:48


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what I can't hear you because there is not no the mic is not working. Last question or otherwise, there's two more minutes hamdulillah

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at everyone, your beautiful Hamza Kamala hyenas panic Hola, homophobia. Hamdi actually do a lot of stuff. We look forward to Bulik sola ala Sayidina. Muhammad Ali Ali was habitus demon cathedra. We'll see you next week in Charlotte is going to be jealousy.

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Oh, I love that. That's that's the response.