The Excellence Of Kinship

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Hacene Chebbani

Channel: Hacene Chebbani

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala

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Muhammad Ali he was satiation may

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zakum La Jolla for coming to the halaqa tonight and today inshallah we'll be talking about salata rhyme, keeping the ties of kinship, taking care of our family members who are the family members, that we have to keep good ties with them. And what is the excellence of this act of a vida it is an act of a vida. Where the the Quran and the Sunnah of Rasulullah lies assylum say about them. Before we talk about this subject, I would like to tell you about a story that happened to a worker so definitely Alon,

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a worker. So they used to spend

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money on one of his cousin's used to support him financially on a regular basis.

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And when I show Minnie, the daughters of the daughter of workers to do for the law and humor, and the beloved wife of a prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the mother of the believer, when she was accused or falsely accused of committing the illegal sin,

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the same cousin that used to receive financial support from a workers the was involved in spreading rumors about a shot of the Alon.

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And I want you to put yourself in his shoes in a workers shoes. Put yourself in his position.

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The man that you used to use to spend money on him,

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support him with your money and support his family for a long time is now attacking the honor of your own daughter.

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Whenever Walker Cydia called the alarm on who knew about it, when he was informed about it, that this man, his cousin is involved in spreading these rumors about his daughter, he decided to stop his financial support. He decided to stop supporting him. And I think this is the least you could he could do at a time. Right? And if any, you just think about anyone else, he would do the same. He would do the same thing.

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But the last panel to Allah after a while he revealed some verses in Surah to nor

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inviting abubaker or encouraging him. And there are some other Muslims too, who used to spend and some Muslims. And those Muslims were involved in this incident, spreading rumors about our share of the olana and they decided to stop spending or helping these people. So Allah subhanaw taala revealed this ayah Well, I utterly oral fatherly minko was sad. And you to Cordoba only corba when Misaki never Maha Shireen ifisa de la jolla, LA to la buena and El Faro, la Hola, como por la fool, right. So Allah subhanaw taala revealed in Surah. to note, he said, Let not those of virtue and wealth among you and Walker was a man of noble character, noble lineage, he was he had a good

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reputation who was the best friend of Mohammed Salim Ali himself and he was a merchant. So he had some financial means or the alarm and so last part Allah is saying here in this area, let not those of virtue and wealth among you swear not to give aid to their relatives because now here is a loss patella is talking about his relative his relative is his cousin is included in this one master key and because they are needy too, we need help from the community. And Elmo hygiene and those who immigrated for the sake of Allah because these people were among those who immigrated from Mecca we left the city of Mecca to Medina. So they got this fat, but they committed this mistake, or this sin

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and it is a grave sin. So Allah subhanaw taala is saying in this ayah I let them pardon forgive and you overlook their mistakes and how to hit boonah if you're Allahu laco. Would you not like it? If Allah Subhana Allah forgive your sins that Allah forgives your sins?

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Allah for Rahim Allah is the most merciful and the most gracious. So Allah subhanho wa Taala is reminding a worker about the second option or the better of two options. That Yes,

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Allah subhanaw taala knows that a worker is a human being

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He has the right to be upset. He has the right to be offended.

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These people were attacking the owner of his art. And that's why I must pantalla was not harsh and severe in this eye. Like he Allah subhanaw taala is trying to is saying yeah, I understand that you are offended. But there is a better option. There is a better way of dealing with these people. It's better if you forgive and you forget, and you give them you keep giving. So when a worker so dechra the Allahu anhu heard about this if he said Bella, way below and your fear or fear Allah who Li thembi he said certainly I would love that Allah. But Allah forgives me since and then he resumed spending on his own his cousin and his family.

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There is another story that took place at the time for us all lies are seldom but we don't know the name of the men. So he came to us full of lies and allow us to sell them and he said jasola in nearly karapatan asilo who work Peroni we're orsino la him where you see una La

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La him and he asked bura Acevedo la luna la Dahlia fossilize SLM calm in can happen Mata cola encana chemical difficut and Mr. To sufu Mela, then he said well as a la kameena la Hiva hero, la him my doctor Allah Vedic and this hadith is inside Muslim. Most of the head Ethan's is hella funny. shaula are in Bukhari and Muslim and authentic hadith most of them. So here are some lies, I sell them or a man actually came to the Messenger of Allah and he said they have some relatives, I try my best to have a closer relationship with them.

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And I am sure that maybe every one of us in this halaqa in this place tonight is having the same problem or having similar dealing with similar situation. These problems are very common nowadays, especially nowadays. Can you find a family member who is nice and kind to his to his relatives but he's not receiving the same treatment. Now I want you to pay attention to what was all lies I seldom said to this man. So he said I try my best to to have a close relationship with me treat them well. They treat me Ill Ill he said I am sweet and nice to them but they are harsh. I'm patient to them. But the insult me sort of subtle lies I sent him He said if what you say is true. If what you say is

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true, then you are like someone who is shoving hot sand in their mouth or the around their faces. Okay and to sift through Herman Miller. And then he said there will there would always remain with you an angel from Allah subhanaw taala extending his support to you, as long as you remain on this path.

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Pay attention to the statement of Rasul Allah says Allah is encouraging him to remain on this path, you treat them the same way. Treat them the same way. Do not do not change your behavior with them. And then you will receive support from our last panel to Allah and his in his angels. And another heading that is in Buhari as soon as I saw him said laser was it will be McAfee

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we're lacking there was a lady either Katara who are kapa rahima. Who

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was Allah. So in this Hadith, he said, La Silla, the one who maintained maintains good ties with his family, with his relatives, just because they maintain, you know, good ties with him, is not is not someone who is like, he's not perfectly maintaining the ties of kinship doing salata, right,

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because he's someone who is returning the favor.

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But the one who truly and perfectly upholds the ties of kinship is the one who keeps doing it, even if when the break it off with them, when they break the ties of kinship with him, other people, other family members, they break the ties of kinship with him, but he keeps on doing the same thing, then this is the man who is truly and perfectly keeping the ties of kinship. And that's why based on this Hadith, you know, it's obvious from this hadith that the one who is doing it this way who is behaving with his family members in this way and he keeps on treating them the same way

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is doing it for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala he's not paying attention to his whether his rights are observed or not. He doesn't care if they return the favor to him or not. So he's doing it obviously for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala he's looking for Azure and so on, right. That's why I wrote the classified people into three types, or three categories. We have a Lawson

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McAfee caught a rhyme. So now you need to look at yourself, and which class in which category you find yourself. And wasum is the one who keeps on keeping the ties of kinship upholding the case of upholding the ties of kinship with his family members or relatives, even if they do not retain or return his favor to him. If they don't treat him the same way, he keeps on doing it for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala and this is a loss and in McAfee is the one who returns the favor. If we visit him, he will visit them. If they don't, he doesn't do it. If we call him he would call if we don't, he doesn't call if they give him a gift and come and attend his wedding for example, or share with

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him happy occasions he would go and do them. They would go and do the same thing. He would it would, you know return the favor. Basically this is in McAfee in Arabic and he will be in the safe side if he does it for the sake of Allah. If he method looks at it this way. He said, Listen, I know my family members are nice to me. They are kinda yeah and Haram. It's not nice if I have I have to return the favor for the sake of Allah. If he does it for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala in sha Allah He will be in the safe side.

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I'll kartha Rahim, Cartier Rahim. The one who is treated nicely treated with kindness we he doesn't return this kindness. He doesn't cheat his family members. Well. This is called the Rahim rasa xlm call let hooroo agenda Takata Orion a very strong warning from a supervisor cell and he said the one severs the ties of kinship does not into paradise layered Hello Janata Party Alright. So salata Rahim is very important to one now, the importance of keeping the ties of kinship if we look at the Quran.

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In surah, Nisa, for example, Allah subhanaw taala would connect with between to read which is a rather to last panel attalla without any shark, with with with establish a connection between this great Eva which is the foundation of Islam to hate, and between taking care of parents and family members would allow us to Sri COVID Nisha or bhilwara the Santa will be will Korba he mentioned some other people, the neighbors and the Misaki the needy in this ayah but he started first with parents and they will corba who are relatives. So last fantana in this I said worship Allah subhanaw taala this one of the main duty in Islam and associate non with him subhanho wa Taala and be kind to

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parents and to relatives. And then he mentioned other types of fever like the needy and the neighbors and the orphans.

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In in, in a famous Hadith in Sahih Bukhari Rasulullah Salim said man can you believe he will Yeoman after Felisa Rahim Allah, and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, then he should keep or uphold the ties of kinship. Which means that if you really believe in Allah subhanho wa Taala and you are expecting to meet him on the Day of Judgment, then you have or you must uphold the ties of kinship, because you will be asked about about them in a different Hattie's and there are some random as he said, it could be a figurative speech. It could be an angel that talked on behalf of silica Rahim or kinship. But in this hadith Rasulullah saw Selim said in Allah Allah can halka

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hotter either further harm in helping comet a rhyme for Khaled head Emma camula, ADB camino Katya for Karla Nam Allah subhana wa Tada. So it was a conversation between silica right, I will explain this Hadith, which is kinship and between the last panel that fell into her last element healthy harlot parameter right. For Katerina Nakamura he became in katakana Nam ma Leakey and Assalam and was a lucky man tataki Bella. Kala further de colicky Jani is to Shiva, tala buki, if you haven't had enough Rasulullah Salim said, Allah Subhana. Allah has created the creation. And when he had finished, he said, The kinship students

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that we're talking about kinship is keeping the ties of kinship. Scylla Rahim is a concept is not a creation is not a human being is not something that talks right. But here, the Hadees said the kinship stood up and said so some argument he said it could be a figurative speech. It could be American angel that talks on behalf of

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kinship. The other possibility Allah subhanaw taala is Able to do all things. We know that on the Day of Judgment he will create

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He will make death into the shape of an animal and it will be slaughtered. That means if people say forever No one will die will Lakota Allah Allah. So Allah subhanaw taala is able to make silica Raheem into a being, you know and give an almost metal is able to give you the power to talk and speak. So in this head if she said or it said this is the standing of the one who seeks protection or a fuse with you from being cut off, and also like Elon Musk pantalla said, Yes. Would it not please you if I were to, you know, take care of those who take care of you and cut off those who cut you off.

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It's very dangerous Hadith, right? So last rant, Allah is saying, while talking to a Rahim, would it? Would it please you if I were to take care of those who take care of you? If someone takes care of Scylla Rahim Allah will take care of him. If so, if, if someone neglects the letter, Rahim. This a bad day or this duty, then he will be neglected Allah Subhana Allah will neglect him. Allah Subhana Allah will not take care of him. So it said of course and our last pantalla said your prayer is granted or your prayer is accepted. And this Hadeeth is in Bukhari and Muslim. Now as soon as I seen him on different Hadith are different to a hadith he made this Riba or upholding the ties of

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kinship as a reason for entering into paradise. So there is there was a man who came to Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. I said, Burnaby I'm in a new hidden agenda. Tell me about a deed that will take me into paradise.

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They were very, you know, sincere and eager to go into agenda they will always the Sahaba asking about what would take them into paradise. This is a very common question among the community of the Sahaba. So what also lies as lm set Abdullah to Sri COVID Asia Toki masala toto tgcat watashi no rhyme. So he mentioned four things he said, You worship Allah subhanaw taala alone without ascribing any partner to him. You establish the prayer, you pay the Zakat, and you uphold the ties of kinship. When he moved to a city that the city of Medina

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the famous story, I mentioned this famous story before Abdullah Abu Salah, who was a Jewish scholar at that time, and he was, you know, he wanted to know our Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So when he just arrived to the city of Medina, he went looking for him and he salatu salam, and he wanted to meet him and listen to him and talk to him. So he said he made the statement, he said, when I looked at him, I knew that his face was not the face of a liar. And then he said, it appears to me or It seems to me that this is the first these are the first words that he added it is salatu salam Yeah. yohannes Yeah, you know, actually Salah waka mo

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was Ceylon or ham was solo he mentioned four things was some lubi layli when nashoni m that whole gender Tabby Salah?

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Yeah, yohannes a few sell em spread. More people spread the message of peace.

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Out embleton feed, give food to people or feed the needy, the poor and the needy. There's a number to settle or have a pull the ties of kinship and pray at night while people are sleeping. You go into paradise in peace.

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Of course there is a there's something amazing about this hadith. And I think I talked about it before. Something amazing because also Lhasa Selim was a refugee. Someone who was fleeing Mecca,

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about to be killed or captured and returned to Makkah people were looking for him.

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Soldiers makin soldiers who are looking for him

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to kill him right. And he's leaving the city of Makkah his friend companions were tortured. He left his some of his family members, their situation is not very pleasant, right.

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And making a trip of three days or four days between Makkah and Medina. And then when he reached Medina, he left an enemy who is who was behind him. It was behind him trying to kill him right. What is amazing about this story, Russell as a senior was not thinking about them at all. So he was not talk was not he did not mention his enemies, which means that Russell assassinated didn't have any ego. There was no place for ego in his life, la salatu wa sallam, because if you put anyone in his place, he would be talking about his enemies.

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He will be talking about the situation in Makkah what happened to them in Makkah.

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He will be talking maybe about future plans how to deal with their enemies in Makkah. But also last session him did not mentioned the mccanns did not talk about them at all. This is the first thing that he said based on the duration of the law of mussalam or the Alon.

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So and that's why Abdullah Salaam accepted Islam, he was Jewish scholar, and he accepted Islam after that. So anyway, in this hadith of Eliza Silla made upholding the ties of kinship as a reason to go to Gen nine shalonda salani Jelena Elgin, what are the benefits of keeping the ties of kinship? What are the benefits number one, the road Emma D says entry, earning the pleasure of Allah subhanaw taala be saved from Hellfire and entering gender. This is the num number, the first you know benefit. The second one they said enhancing social ties and empowering individuals. When someone is surrounding with his family members, whenever he's facing a problem or a challenge was dealing with

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something then he find he would find his cousins surrounding him and his family members. He feels empowered. Not like someone who lives here and within in this land, for example, and he's alone, no family member around him.

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I get this feeling sometimes when I talk about when I talk to some families, I deal with some issues. And sometimes the first thing that that is mentioned, especially by a woman, I am alone here I have no brother, I have no father, you have no you want to earn your sympathy.

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This is the introduction I have no father, I have no brothers. I have no cousins, and alone here. But it is a difficult situation if you want to look at it. from a human perspective. It is a very difficult situation even for tough man when he finds himself. Even if we're talking about men now forget about a woman now. Find yourself alone in a country with no help. No helpers, no family members around, you feel like we are in a very difficult situation. But if someone is surrounded with his cousins and family members and friends, he feels empowered. So the older man he said this Silla tribal empowering video which was receiving the blessings of increased wealth and the

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extension of your lifespan. And this is was mentioned in the Hadith.

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You know, and it's how do you say mata kanani montserrado anubisath Allahu feteasca. When you say Allah houfy edgerly foliose ihlara hemo. He said, whoever would like to His provision for His provision to be in this world to be increased, and for his lifespan to be extended, then let him uphold the ties of kinship.

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If you do it you see the Baraka in your life. You see it, and those who are spending their family members and giving them Zakat, they feel it will allow to Allah and him Everyone has his own personal experience. But if you do it if you follow the law, see how fossilize SLM you will find those blessings and those you know in your life, and the opposite is true. If someone is not treating his parents, well, you will see it in this life before the day of judgment. The opposite is true. Number four, the said the one who does it will earn Alas, protection from against calamities. And you know and serious travels. We got it from the story of hadisha or the Allahu Allah.

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What is amazing about it, her IJA made their statement before she became a Muslim.

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After also La Silla Mati breed for the first time

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and he was shaky and afraid. He came back to hadisha and he said to me, Louisa Maloney or the Thelonious Irani cover and cover me.

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First time image of rerelease Salaam he didn't know he was afraid he was scared. It's normal, right? It's normal. It's a human feeling human emotions. So he went back to his wife, when he told her about the story, his story, what happened to him in the cave.

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And he didn't understand really, that it was Angel gibreel who came to him and at that time, he was, he was clueless le salatu wa sallam later on, he found out that he became the Messenger of Allah and, and the creature that came to him in the cave was gibreel. But what after he told her, she made the statement and she was so confident about this statement, even though we're talking about people who lived at a time of jelly.

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You are not Muslims. Khadija was not a Muslim lady at that time or the Allah. She said Kela lay Zika law whoever then

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can love May, Allah will never disgrace you.

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And Allah will never humiliate you talking to her husband. And she mentioned the reasons a list of qualities that he had. And he salatu salam and the first quality in Nikola Tesla Rahim. You truly uphold the ties of kinship. This is the first first quality. And then she said what us to call Heidi. And you speak the truth.

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We're we're Tamil color. And you help the week, we took see Wilma Duma and you support the test that destitute Gary The one who is in need, who who is facing some difficulties. And then she said, we're tokkuri bifa and you honor your guests, which are in your island away with her and you extend your help at times of difficulty and hardship. So she mentioned his a flap and his qualities before he became a prophet. And she was so confident that Allah we never disgrace him, Allah Subhana Allah we never humiliate him because of these, these qualities. And the first thing on this list is seletar Rahim which is upholding the ties of kinship.

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It was like it is like,

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as like it was an established knowledge in their community, that the one who has these qualities would not to be disgraced by God. But Allah subhana wa adad you tell me, I mean, they are not Muslims, how come they are talking about Allah? What is the answer?

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Could you tell me the answer?

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Milla Fie inherited this knowledge about Allah from the Dean of Ibrahim Ali Salah. They were the descendants of Ishmael, the people of Mecca and the descendants of Abraham and his Salah. So they had some knowledge about Allah. You know, that's why some, some non Muslims when they knew that people, the Arabs, Arabs used to talk about Allah and they had some knowledge about Allah before Islam. He came up with a story he said actually Allah is one of the pagans. There were surrounding the Kava, Mohammed Salah Salem only had to neglect and eliminate all the other idols, one of the idols sorry, one of the idols, one of the idols around the Kaaba, Mohammed had only to eliminate the

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other idols and he kept and he saved one idol, which is a loss of hope dalla didn't have knowledge that Mohammed Salim is one of the descendants of Abraham La Silla. Now, the time they had knowledgeable to last 100 Allah, we know that Allah subhanaw taala created this universe by how do we observe this river, the one, the older man, he said, You know, this event, it could be observed and fulfilled by doing many things. Number one, visiting your relatives,

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is very important. If they live with you in the same town, you visit them. I mean,

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if they are in a different country, while they're in different town, well, it could be an excuse and accepted excuse if he did not visit them. But at least if you don't have a strong relationship, or close relationship, at least you visited them at the new the times of reads, for example, or the beginning the times of happy occasions or a time of death pallavaram you try to organize your relationship with, with with your, with your cousins with your relatives in a way that should be pleasing to Allah subhanho wa Taala accepting their invitation. If we invite you don't accept their invitation and you refuse and you come up with excuses all the time, they will feel offended, right?

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I mean, they might forget you for the first time, second time, third time.

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But we keep coming up with excuses. And if you don't accept their invitation, they will feel that there is something wrong with you. sharing with them happy occasions, for example, or being a source of comfort, at a time of sorrow and sadness, calling them to ask about their affairs if you don't have time to visit or they live in a different area. So it's enough to call them time to time or during the times of read, or Amazon honoring their elders if you meet an elder among your relative so you honor him you show him respect to treat him with respect. showing mercy to the young ones and the weak members of the family, giving gifts, invite them to your house, offering your CCNA to see

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how you're supposed to offer your sincere naseeha to another brother who is not relative was not related to you. How about someone who is related to you if he comes to you seeking a sincere mercy How about anything then you have to offer your sincere and I see her and it is one of the reasons

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Making dua for them.

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Making dua for them is very important. Even if you are not able to give them money, you're not able to give gifts. Making is something very nice and Allah pantalla will appreciate this act of Eva giving sadaqa to those who are in need among them are soulless as Adam said a sadhaka to Allah miskeen sadaqa Rahim mithuna attorney sada cotton vasila de saho enamel Alberni Rahmatullah Holly. So he said, giving a charity to a poor person at a charity is an act of charity, by giving a charity to a relative

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is a charity and also an act of fulfillment towards the ties of kinship. So you'll be keeping the ties of kinship doing psyllid around by giving sadaqa or giving Zakat to your family members that might not see how my advice when you calculate your Zakat and you want to give Zakat, think about your family members first. Who among them is in need your brothers, your sisters, your uncle's your aunts, if someone is in need, then your reward when you give them your your Zakat, you will be rewarded from both ways. And the act you will be you get rewarded for giving the Zakat or solokha. And you'll be rewarded for keeping the ties of kinship and purify your hearts from any feelings of

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resentment. This is very difficult for many people. But if you work on it, then you will achieve in sha Allah the stage of purification. Having pure hearts, no feelings, no hard feelings towards family members.

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You tell me you know they are rude to my family. They don't this spreading rumors against my family. They did this to my mother to do this to my father. They never showed us any respect. I I hear these stories all the time.

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But they'll tell you, you are responsible on the day of judgment about your actions and they are responsible, they will be asked about their actions. If you cheat them, well. They cheat you l and it's their problem.

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You do it for the sake of Allah subhana wa tada and that should be enough for every Muslim. I know it's difficult. But the last hunt Allah is inviting you as a Muslim, to always choose the best of two options. And sometimes the second option is not an option.

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Like when we talked about the case of our Walker,

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he was supporting him on a regular basis and it seems like it was not a cat. It's a sadhaka but sadhaka is volunteer is not an obligatory right is not an obligatory act of a bad charity.

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He could have stopped right but I will walk I wanted to receive you know the Azure and the follow up and a month later under Rama of Allah subhanho wa Taala and then he went against his own neffs and said no, I like certainly I love that the last time to Allah forgives my sins

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and He forgave his his cousin and he kept you know spending on him number and the last one These are examples there are many ways and there are many ways you can either have here is taken into consideration people have different customs into keeping in touch with their when it comes to keeping in touch with their

00:33:26--> 00:34:08

relatives and cousins. They have different ways there are different celebrations different gatherings different and but this in general These are 10 or 11 points. There are other medicines adopt an attitude forgiveness and reconciliation all the time. Even if your rights are not observed even if they take some properties from you. This life is not worth it. This life is short and you meet the last panel at Allah you will be a happy person. If you follow the instructions of Rasulullah sallallahu. Later loss it will be McAfee or Lakin was the lady. Yes Hello rahima and Lady either Kota otra Hema who raha who was on a new one, when they're his family members are not keeping

00:34:08--> 00:34:13

the ties of kinship is the time when you actually keep the ties of kinship with them.

00:34:15--> 00:34:31

And this is the definition of a wassell in the hadith of Rasulullah cinema The one who perfectly keeps the ties of kinship. Now what are the reasons of severing the ties of kinship the Erdem I have mentioned many reasons. Number one is ignorance and ignorance. Ignorance is number one enemy.

00:34:32--> 00:35:00

People don't know the virtues and the excellence of keeping the ties of kinship, or many peoples they think that being good Muslim, it's enough to be a good Muslim. It's enough to perform your five daily prayers, give us a cat and do the fasting in Ramadan. And that would be enough or having a beard and wearing a comfy sort of film and using the sea work. And that would be enough praying in the first line of first show in the masjid coming

00:35:00--> 00:35:04

To the measured all the time that would be enough this is enough. Now this is not enough

00:35:05--> 00:35:13

cheating your family members treating other people with respect having good luck good manners with family members with other people is part of our Deen.

00:35:14--> 00:35:54

So and it is an act of a bad. So the ignorance here is the main factor in for many people to neglect. You know this. This a by the lack of taqwa number two the family said someone doesn't have to avoid this and fear Allah subhanaw taala he doesn't care about his Salah as you can see, so he doesn't care about his family members. You tell him about Scylla Tara, who cares these people don't deserve anything. They are mean they are not nice, they are not and then they start coming up with excuses putting the blame on them. This is one of our problems and they kept talking about it. I talked about it today in the Friday hautbois putting the blame on other people all the time trying

00:35:54--> 00:36:24

to relieve yourself all the time from the responsibilities now when it comes to this issue. It is your responsibility to make that extra step to reach to your family members even if they are not nice. They are not practicing. You don't like them. They have a different lifestyle. They are still relatives, and we have helco that will Korba and I'm not gonna mention them in the Quran. Allah says Allah mentioned them in his Heidi. Number three they said earlier arrogance.

00:36:26--> 00:36:43

There are some people when they become rich, or they gain a position of authority, they become arrogant and they start looking down at their family members or relatives. And this will try this will lead other people to stay away from them.

00:36:44--> 00:37:27

It will encourage people to stay away from them because they will say you know I don't feel comfortable being around that person. He keeps on talking about his achievement arrogantly and sank put down other people I don't feel comfortable at all sitting down with him or talking to him. arrogance. And arrogance is a it's a major senior one. The first thing that he believes committed was irrigants. What is the delille in Surah RF Kala Anna hi Ron Minho, Halekulani minara Newhall octoman T, he said I'm better than him, one of us pantallas to commanded him to obey to bow to Adam Elisa, what was his argument? You created me from fire created him from clay I'm better than him.

00:37:27--> 00:37:29

So, this is the first sin

00:37:30--> 00:37:34

that took place at a time when Allah subhanho wa Taala created.

00:37:36--> 00:37:55

Number four, he said some people have some problem with finding the faults of other people, they have this what is called full fault finding mentality, they always look at the mistakes of other people and they keep talking about them. Sometimes they face their family members with these mistakes.

00:37:56--> 00:38:15

And he liked the enjoy putting the blame on other family members. And these sometimes the as I said, the face them with this professor, people obviously don't feel comfortable visiting this person, or dealing with him or having a close relationship with Him. And then they decide they will decide to not not to have a good relationship with him. So

00:38:17--> 00:38:23

this is a problem. And some people have this problem all the time. They keep talking about mistakes of other people.

00:38:24--> 00:38:43

Excessive joking, sometimes they're really mad I mentioned this one of the reasons some people don't know their how to make jokes and the appropriate jokes and it might hurt other family members with their jokes. And then he will end up cutting the ties of kinship because of this.

00:38:45--> 00:39:11

Because there are people I mean people who do not they do not take jokes they do not accept them they don't I mean, so, you have to be careful we deal with with your family members, if you are in a gathering and you try to make a joke sometimes you hurt the feelings of one of one of your family members and this might lead to this, you know problems cut the author Rahim Allah has said which is envy major sin

00:39:12--> 00:39:29

and this is very common, if I met her and family members, who started method in their life, Emily cousins, who started working at the same time and one of them within a short period of time became rich and the other one is still struggling,

00:39:30--> 00:39:34

struggling with his financial affairs.

00:39:35--> 00:39:49

So, you find that this guy would make Hassett will envy the other one and then the other one will feel it will he will know about it. This his cousin is not happy about his achievements.

00:39:50--> 00:40:00

And then the relationship becomes sour and they start you know staying away from each other and then they stop visiting each other and then talking to each other.

00:40:00--> 00:40:11

Sometimes families, the whole family stopped dealing with other family like our brothers and wife and children. These are very common problems in our communities.

00:40:12--> 00:40:26

And has it sometimes it has it is not there. But the person himself is worried about a hassle. So he's hiding, he likes to hide his is not to talk about his plans, his achievements.

00:40:28--> 00:41:06

His how much money he's making, because he is worried. And then if people want to talk to him, his family members will only deal with him to go and visit him. They don't feel comfortable. Because they feel like he's very secretive. And he's, he's worried about being invited, or envied, I would say, and then and then you don't feel comfortable dealing with him. But it hasn't it is a problem. It is something real. Allah subhanaw taala talked about it in sorbitol and fell out and some other sewers. Sherry has it in in acid, it is a problem a lie. You know how casola salami said,

00:41:07--> 00:41:15

the evil is true. So it is a problem. But how do we deal with this problem if someone has the problem of a hassle.

00:41:16--> 00:42:01

The best way to deal with this problem if someone feels that he has these feelings of envy in his heart towards the achievements and the properties and of his of his cousins who are relatives, he should pray to Allah subhanho wa Taala to increase their wealth, to increase their bounties if he's not happy, and he finds out finds out that he's having these emotions, then the best way is to go against these emotions and make dua for them. Who Allah increase their wealth increase give them healthy children, give them this and that and that and then as time passes, this problem will be solved. And you find that you become a different person.

00:42:02--> 00:42:05

And you start making do actually for everyone.

00:42:07--> 00:42:12

You have no hazard in your heart. And you become at that moment you become a happy person.

00:42:13--> 00:42:20

Competing over material worlds the takato to Catherine has said here are related and alas mantella said el hecho Mata katha,

00:42:21--> 00:43:03

you're busy with a takato competing to you know collect material things. So I have two cars Mike, my neighbor has two cars and I should have two cars, our our relatives just got new furniture, just you know change their furniture. He had this furniture for six months and they are changing it. Let's do the same thing. attack after competition or competitive mindset. So this is what Allah Allah said that you're busy until you visited the graves and visiting the graves here is not talking about going to visit the cemetery No, no, is talking about death.

00:43:05--> 00:43:29

busy with this competitive, you know, behavior until the time is over. And there is no time to pray or offer in a good deeds. So las pantallas, Salama and afia number nine they said neglecting the rights of other family members and you having occasion and you forget one of the family members you don't invite him you might be offended.

00:43:30--> 00:43:36

For example, that's why when you have an occasion you have to have a list and write them write the names.

00:43:37--> 00:43:40

And you make sure that you call them, all of them.

00:43:41--> 00:43:42

If you are calling some of them

00:43:43--> 00:43:52

and telling other people to tell family members tell them and some of them might feel offended if you are calling some of them then call everyone.

00:43:53--> 00:44:04

Try your best, try your best. And then no one will be offended, everyone will be happy, sometimes delaying the division of the inheritance. This is very common.

00:44:05--> 00:44:16

And this will lead to many problems in the family delaying the division of inheritance. I know some families who delay this division for 20 years 25 years.

00:44:18--> 00:44:36

And the reason could be sometimes because they are not happy with like they have daughters and they know that their daughters will take from the inheritance who will benefit from this inheritance their husbands and they are foreigners. They are not members of the family. So they're not happy with that to keep delaying this division.

00:44:37--> 00:45:00

Till 20 years has passed and then over 25 years as create more problems. Sometimes girls female members in some Muslim countries in some environments, females are not given the inherit inheritance from the inheritance. And this is a major sin Weaver is denying them their rights is committed.

00:45:00--> 00:45:10

A major sin he will pay for it on the day of judgment because Allah subhanaw taala as prescribed for them for every one for every family member in the Quran, he share of the inheritance

00:45:14--> 00:45:17

and he did not tell us how many records in Lahore in the Quran

00:45:19--> 00:45:42

we he knows Allah can tell you that we will learn this sooner from Russell last I sell and we are not going to have any argument about it, we are not going to have an any dispute about it but he knows how much we love money. So when it came to inheritance, he told us so on so we'll take the third or so we'll take a sixth or so will take half of the inheritance. So he gave us you know, the he exactly,

00:45:43--> 00:46:13

you know mentioned shares with numbers that are well mentioned in the Quran and the Sunnah of Rasulullah I sell them, but people play with this rules. Now who are these family members who deserve this right or this? You know, who are included in this a better? So the early Maddy said relatives are divided into two types, arrival mohalla, Muharram Warhammer and Muharram basically Muslims, and no matter.

00:46:14--> 00:46:36

So what is the definition of maharam relatives, this is each two person who if they were one of them was a male, and the other one was a female, it would not be permissible for them to get married. These are morons. Like parents, like children, like brothers and sisters, like aunts and uncles.

00:46:38--> 00:46:40

So grandparents, these are moms

00:46:42--> 00:46:57

similar cannot get married with a sister with his aunt with his, with his mother with his grandmother. So these are my terms. So we're talking about males and females. So they have priority here. So morona, Maddy said, these are the men

00:46:58--> 00:47:06

that you have you You must have a good relationship with them. You must it's an obligation to keep good ties with them.

00:47:07--> 00:47:08

And you do it

00:47:09--> 00:47:13

the way you think it will fulfill inshallah, this obligation.

00:47:15--> 00:47:37

And the other ones, they are first cousins first and second cousins, like children of your uncle, children, if your aunt, they are not Muslims, like it's permissible for you to get married with the other person is a female. Or if the person is a woman, the other person is a male. So they are it's permissible for them to get married.

00:47:39--> 00:48:05

So some ruler Maddie said the first category of relatives are the ones that are included in this a better the second group of people, first and second cousins, it's only recommended to to you know, to to have good ties with them, but doesn't sound good to you. The statement here doesn't sound right. That's why the majority of the scholars they said all of them are included, is the opinion of the majority.

00:48:07--> 00:48:10

But if you tell me which one has the priority,

00:48:12--> 00:48:26

which one comes on the top of the list, then the first one, the first group of people that are Muslims, and which one among the Muslims comes on the top of the list number one, could you tell me the answer? Now, among the parents,

00:48:28--> 00:48:37

mother's mother is number one, and then the Father. And then your brothers and sisters and your grandparents, of course are included.

00:48:38--> 00:48:58

And included. We might have more rights than brothers and sisters, grandfather and grandmother, because they are like parents, and so on. So ankles and so but the first the top of the list here we have the mother, mothers, as well, as well as a cinnamon, someone came to him and asked him about, you know,

00:48:59--> 00:49:37

you know who among his family members is more deserving of his kindness. And he said your mother he said then who is your mother? They said then who? Then your mother three times he mentioned his mother three times. And then he mentioned his father. And then he said operable will occur, the closer and then the close. So then these group of people who need to take care of them have a good relationship with them, which means that only eight if you decided to give to call back home, your family members who have only one hour, you don't have time. So you started with these people. And then if you have time, then you go to the second group of people first and second cousins and

00:49:37--> 00:49:40

because the other people have more right upon you.

00:49:41--> 00:49:48

Right your parents, your brothers, sisters, your grandparents, uncles and aunts and so what to

00:49:49--> 00:49:59

type? Do you have any question? No. It doesn't matter you brothers saying how about non Muslims? Yes doesn't matter to them on all of them. Because there is a right

00:50:00--> 00:50:01

between you and them,

00:50:02--> 00:50:06

even if they are not Muslims, then you treat them well for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala.

00:50:09--> 00:50:12

And the reason here is a Rahim, the blood relationship.

00:50:14--> 00:50:14

Yes.

00:50:16--> 00:50:30

I know what you mean this is very common families, families know you are responsible for your deeds. If you have another family member who is included in the first group like grandparent, Aunt uncle should do your part as a Muslim.

00:50:32--> 00:51:05

Regardless, Gamesa, you cannot obey your another family member and disobey Allah subhanaw taala regarding keeping the ties of kinship with another family member, you know, to me, it's a very sensitive issue, I know. But if you try if you have, you're dealing with your parents, parents are telling you do not keep the ties of kinship with so and so. I know it becomes very sensitive, it's a problem. You are young

00:51:06--> 00:51:16

you need to obey your parents but at the same time you know, if you don't keep good relationship with the other person who is a Muharram member of the family

00:51:17--> 00:51:24

then you will be disobeying Allah subhanaw taala especially if you treat them ill don't treat them well.

00:51:25--> 00:51:30

You cannot do that. But at least if you keep a normal relationship you don't hurt them.

00:51:32--> 00:51:35

You don't be part of the problem Don't be part of the problem.

00:51:38--> 00:51:52

See what I'm saying? Don't be a part of the problem. And if you if you can as a person given us see how to your elders in the family or your parents and remind them about salata. Rahim, then it would be very nice.

00:51:54--> 00:51:56

It's a very common problem. Yes.

00:51:59--> 00:52:01

What about your in laws, mother in law father.

00:52:04--> 00:52:23

They are not arriving to you. But they are a home to your, your wife. So your wife is the obligation of your wife to keep good relationship with her mother and her father. But you if it's part of cheating your wife in a good way to respect her parents

00:52:25--> 00:52:30

is not silica Raheem, you're not upholding the ties of kinship, we're doing something good.

00:52:31--> 00:52:41

You're being kind to your wife by respecting her parents and treating her parents well. And they are remember they are the grandparents of your children.

00:52:42--> 00:52:46

So you still related to them. But they are not Rahim. That means

00:52:48--> 00:52:51

Yeah, they can have a normal relationship with them.

00:52:52--> 00:53:16

Or you don't have to make that extra step for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala because with this group of people I'm talking you need to make that extra step to please the last panel to add even if they are not nice to you, not treating you in a in a good way. You need as a Muslim to make that extra step to work on this relationship extra ability here for either Lady binaca verbena, who

00:53:17--> 00:53:35

can who will even having its ability he hasn't. You know, treat people in a nice way. Until the one that you have a you know, a sour relationship with. You don't have a good relationship with it, he becomes he might become a good friend of yours.

00:53:37--> 00:53:47

Because up until kuruva nuforce Allah hug women Sena la Allah Allah created us this way that we love those people who keep treating us with kindness

00:53:49--> 00:53:52

What about your in laws? I answered this

00:53:54--> 00:54:16

on the Day of Judgment do parents get rewards for their children who have done good deeds? Yeah, of course. Of course. Especially if you teach them give them no see how no you will you will reap these rewards inshallah collect this loss. This has an ad for for teaching your kids to be good Muslims. This is obviously a one I thought this is obvious.

00:54:18--> 00:54:20

Adela Allah hi Erica ferrini Now

00:54:26--> 00:54:43

I know it is a problem. He said that you have a large family member you start with those. The first group of people that perhaps your parents in your sisters and brothers, grandparents, aunts and uncles. And then if you cannot keep in touch with the rest, at least you don't hurt them

00:54:45--> 00:55:00

or time to time you try to visit them when you go back home. Time to time try to remind remember them and call them. You don't have to do it on a regular basis. But at least you don't know to neglect the rights of those who are who have priority.

00:55:02--> 00:55:09

Yeah, having a large number of cousins it's a it's an issue sometimes it's a problem because you cannot call all of them

00:55:19--> 00:55:20

Camila

00:55:22--> 00:55:25

Masha Allah subotica Allah

00:55:26--> 00:55:28

May Allah bless your family.

00:55:31--> 00:55:37

You try your best focus on parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles brothers and sisters.

00:55:38--> 00:55:40

These have priority

00:55:42--> 00:55:43

but I know what you're saying. Yeah.

00:55:46--> 00:55:48

Another question before we close inshallah.

00:55:51--> 00:55:57

The problem I think we solve this in the beginning the head either fossilization

00:56:01--> 00:56:26

the problem when, when you always expect other people to be nice to you, before you expect them to visit them to visit you so you can visit them to be kind to you. Or if they do a mistake, they don't you don't forgive them. And you try to put the blame on them. This is a common behavior nowadays in our community. If we can get rid of this correct this problem, then everything will be fine.

00:56:28--> 00:56:52

We'll be in a safe site, if you can deal with this. Go against your desires, your knifes will tell you Okay, do not show any respect to these people. They don't deserve your respect because they are rude. And mean they don't respect your family. They did this and that and that. Some sometimes you find like other family members who have taken property from your dad or your family.

00:56:55--> 00:57:00

Well, you have Jenna in one side and you have this property

00:57:01--> 00:57:02

you choose between

00:57:03--> 00:57:10

between these two things. And I was Potala will appreciate it. If you as I said you follow the path of our Walker

00:57:12--> 00:57:27

and just put yourself in the position of a walker because this is not easy. It's not easy especially in the in in a Muslim community and that someone would come and attack the owner of my daughter and it was spending on him

00:57:28--> 00:57:34

on a regular basis and now he's involved in spreading rumors against my own daughter

00:57:35--> 00:57:36

serving big

00:57:39--> 00:57:52

as a worker The moment he heard this, he said no I would love that the Lord forgive my sense that's why they were great people right that's why our worker is the best person in this oma after so like I said

00:57:54--> 00:58:03

you know, we said here we said they have big hearts right to have a big heart tell with be reassessed Berryessa and Gemini.

00:58:05--> 00:58:48

So basically, this is what we need to forget, forget and forgive when it comes to, you know, our family members. Because in theory, I mean a whole lotta everybody whom Allah and Allah subhanaw taala said in the Quran ellenwood taco. Is it only the people of taqwa So the solution is puto is it? Many people who deal with each other, they interact with each other, they oppress each other, they do injustice against each other. Whether they are business partners, or they are neighbors or their family members. They have to deal with each other right? Hola, Yogi Babu malaba li transgress the limits and the oppress each other Illa Allah taco, except the people of taco

00:58:49--> 00:58:52

the people of taqwa will give

00:58:53--> 00:59:06

their due rights and they will respect the rights of other people and they will observe the rights of other people because they are people of taqwa. So when you think about it actually, when you have a strong relationship with Allah

00:59:09--> 00:59:24

your Eman is very strong. And you always keep about thinking about gender. Anybody has an ad agenda and your relationship with Allah subhanaw taala then you will inshallah you will be able to overcome these obstacles.

00:59:25--> 00:59:54

These emotions, where will we have in this society, non Muslims got their child, their son killed with a daughter, hula, and at the end of it go to the court and they say make statement on behalf of the family. We forgave him. We forgive the killer non Muslims. They don't think about the last panel data. They don't think that the agenda was the said psychologist in this in this environment or in this culture. They said when you forgive,

00:59:55--> 00:59:59

it's a source of healing you become you become actually you

01:00:00--> 01:00:30

You're healing yourself, you're helping yourself, you're relieving yourself from the burden of having these feelings of resentment, because how the heck they will call here will will hurt you, you as a human being. If you if the person keeps on entertaining, you know these feelings of resentment and hatred and anger, he will actually hurt himself he will not have a good life because he will keep thinking about his enemies and whatever they did to him

01:00:32--> 01:00:44

will not have a good life. That's why forgiving other people you become relaxed actually interleaved. And this is what we need to do with our family members. And the problem is are finished with this.

01:00:45--> 01:00:51

Some brothers and sisters actually admitted this the the admitted this mistake.

01:00:52--> 01:00:54

One brother, he said when I come to the Zuma

01:00:56--> 01:00:59

eye, he said, I noticed that

01:01:00--> 01:01:03

I smile to the faces of other people,

01:01:04--> 01:01:13

to other brothers in the community, and I treat them well. Try to behave well in the masjid. The moment I go to the to my house,

01:01:15--> 01:01:20

deal with my family, my wife and children, I become a different person. You don't treat them well.

01:01:25--> 01:01:51

Because you feel like people outside. You need to show them your good sight, smiling and treating them with respect. Oh, these are family members. This is your wife. These are wife, Allah carvana Ola bill Morrow, they have more right than other people. Yes, I'm not saying you should be rude to other people outside your house. But your family members have more rights than other people.

01:01:55--> 01:02:18

But we find that many actually Muslims, they do the opposite. So though you understand you're my husband, you're my wife, you're my child. Keep screaming in your children screaming doing that and that and but outside you are that perfect human being who's smiling all the time, treating other people with respect. So this some people notice this and he said, You know, this is weird.

01:02:21--> 01:02:27

And I shouldn't be behaving this way because these are my family members deserve my respect, my kindness.

01:02:29--> 01:02:45

So this is something that we need to pay attention to. Because the last antenna will ask us on the day of judgment about our relationship with our family members. She's acting long, Hayden subhanak alone or hunting shadow. Either in and Mr. felucca, one or two will lie which is our common law.