The Fiqh Of Intimacy Part 3 – The Right To Sexual Fulfilment
Channel: Habib Bobat
File Size: 4.20MB
Previously, we spoke about intentions and we said that everything in Islam is based on intention in the mallamma to be neared. So intimacy is no different. And some of the intentions that we spoke about was procreation, protection of chastity, fulfilling the rights of one's partner. And lastly, we spoke about enjoying the gift of nikka. Today is a very interesting discussion and we are speaking about the right to sexual fulfillment belongs to both the husband and the wife. This is a very important discussion to have. Because there is a great misconception in the people. Many people think many people think that the right to sexual fulfillment only belongs to the husband. This is a
myth. We need to dispel it, we need to debunk it and we need to understand that the right to sexual fulfillment belongs to both the husband and the wife. The great scholar Abner within Rahim Allah tala writes that among the benefits of nica is the permissibility of each spouse deriving sexual pleasure from the other. So in essence, both partners are religiously obliged to fulfill each other's sexual needs. Now their Hadith is addressed both the husband and the wife, as far as the wife is concerned, the prophet of Allah Salallahu alaihe salam has said that there are Raja emulator who interferes furoshiki for them. 34 Bertha has the banner they have learned how Malaika to Hector
to spay her that when a man calls his wife to share the bed with him, and she refuses without any valid excuse. And he sleeps while she's angry. Then the angels curse this lady till the morning. And this is authentic narration recorded in Buhari and in Muslim.
So, if the man is calling his wife, he needs to fulfill his needs. And the wife is refusing with out a genuine excuse without a proper excuse. Then she is finding herself on the wrong side. And the angels curse that lady till the morning. At the same time, the prophet of Allah Salallahu alaihe salam is also addressed the husband's and he has also taken into account the needs of the wife. And so we find the hadith of Buddha, the alota nine who were in the Prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam advised him that he was married and he was not fulfilling the needs of his partner. The Prophet of Allah Salallahu alaihe salam got the news. And he called him and he advised him saying
that we're in le zoji collega, Huck or Buddha, Allah has given rights to everybody. And your wife also has a right over you. And towards the end of the Hadith the Prophet of Allah gave him profound advice saying, for our affiliate cool, we happen haka, oh Buddha, Allah has given rights to everyone. So fulfil the rights of everyone that is due to them, your wife is also going to write over you fulfill their rights. This is piety. This is the yardstick to measure things. So now we understand that Allah subhanaw taala has allowed both the husband as well as the wife to fulfill their needs in the legal way, and in the halal manner. Now, let's look at some of the exceptions to
the rule. We mentioned early on that when the husband calls his wife and she refuses then the angels cursor. However, in certain cases, she is exempted. For example, in the case of halal when she is in her monthly cycle, at that time, it is not permissible for the husband to engage in sexual activity. And if he calls her, she has the upper she has the prerogative to refuse, because there is a genuine excuse and there is the monthly cycle. The same would apply in the postnatal bleeding which we call the fast. And thirdly, in extreme illnesses, they are exempted, they are not forced to share the bed with the husband, or in a case where they are incapacitated due to illness. So in these
circumstances, it is permitted for the wife to not make herself available when the husband do make the request. Now let's look at some of the common excuses that partners make.
We said that it is a right to for both husband and wife to fulfill their sexual needs. But there is a great deal of laxity in this regard. And we find very often partners making the excuse, I'm too tired. I had a hectic day. I'm not in a mood or later, maybe not today, maybe sometime later. So one thing we
To understand that this could be detrimental to the marriage,
and it could lead to emotional withdrawal,
it could lead to dissatisfaction. And in some cases, it could even lead to extra marital affairs. So people should understand that it is a need that Allah has kept in the marriage. And when those needs are not met, then the person might go elsewhere to fulfill those needs. So it's important that just like how we make time for everything in our day, we should also make time for this and we shouldn't be negligent and complacent in this regard. And therefore there should be a mutual understanding between husband and wife they should take into account each other's needs. And accordingly, they should be fulfilling it in sha Allah.