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The Fiqh Of Intimacy Part 4 – Liked & Disliked Times
Channel: Habib Bobat
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Episode Transcript ©
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Previously, we spoke about the fact that the right to sexual intimacy belongs to both the husband and the wife. And we mentioned that it is a misconception to think that this right only belongs to the husband. Now, moving on to today's discussion, we are looking at two things. Firstly, how often sexual relations and secondly, selecting a time for sexual relations. So as far as the first topic is concerned, how often should we engage in sexual relations. As far as that is concerned, the Sharia has not fixed a specific limit, or has not set a restriction on how often a couple may engage in sexual activity. Now, this is because the temperament, the physique, and the sexual libido of
each person varies considerably. Therefore, the couples should mutually decide what is best suited for them. However, moderation is the golden principle. You know, having relations too often can be exhausting and unhealthy. At the same time, if you abandon sexual relations all together, or even if you reduce it to a bare minimum, this may be damaging and unhealthy to the relationship. Now coming to the aspect of selecting a suitable time for sexual relations. Here, again, we have to understand that the Sharia does not specify any particular time for engaging in sexual activity, it's totally up to the couple, they may choose any time of the day or any time of the night, as long as there is
no external factor, which prohibits Relations at that time. And we will be looking at those factors in the segment. Now let's look at some of the preferred times and the dislike times to engage in sexual activity. As far as the preferred times are concerned, the rule of thumb is that you should engage in sexual activity, when the both of you are at optimal level, a time and the both of you are relaxed, there is no tension or anxiety, and you are not thirsty, you are not hungry, because all these factors can then dampen the passion for intimacy. So for some people, the optimal time is the night, while others may prefer the morning period after waking up. So it all depends on the couple,
some prefer in the early part of the night, because they find that that's the time when their energy levels are high. And that's the time that they can engage in sexual activities. Others prefer the latter part of the night, or should we say the early morning, and that's because they feel that after a long, tiring day and after a stressful day, and they feel that they don't have the desired energy to engage in sexual activity. So it's all up to the couple when they decide to engage in sexual activity, but the rule of thumb is that they should be both in their optimal level. Now if you study the sooner Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we find that Rasulullah sallallahu
Sallam prefer the latter part of the night as opposed to the first part of the night. I showed her the load on her narrates the Canon m overlaid the profit of a load rested out in the first part of the night, while your hero and he would stand up in the latter part of the night to worship Allah subhanho wa Taala. So main character was written in a Leopoldo hijo. After engaging in a birder, if the Prophet of Allah had the need to engage in sexual activity, he would then come to his wife and fulfill his need. So from here we learn that the Prophet of Allah prefer the latter part of the night. And if we look at the benefits, firstly, your food has digested because you have given
yourself enough time to digest the food. Secondly, you are fully alert and you are vigilant. Thirdly, your energy levels are at optimum, so it's quite beneficial to engage at that time of the night. Having said that, we are going to say that it's totally up to the couple, they should decide what time suits them the best. Another preferred time that the scholars speak about is the day of Friday and the night preceding Friday, that is the Thursday evening. That's because of the hadith of Buddhahood, in which Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, men was Salah was tested our attell. Juma, he who takes a bath and makes his partner take a bath, indicating towards sexual
relations. So the Prophet of Allah is saying he who takes a bath, and he who makes his partner take a bath. So in this Hadith, we learn that one of the preferred times is also the Friday day and the night preceding the Friday and that is the Thursday evening. Let's move on to the final segment and that is the dislike times the times in which we should not be engaging in sexual activity. So number one,
Relations and one needs to answer the call of nature. This is disliked from the sweetener perspective as well as the medical perspective, the profit or loss allamani sentiment said now you Jeremy and I do komaba Heck no man holla for in your corner man hold Bavasi while you're Jeremy and I do komaba head nominal bowl for in Julio coonan Noah Slater, the prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is saying that do not engage in sexual relations when you need to answer the call of nature, for this will cause piles and it can also cause tumor. So yeah, we learn from the sooner perspective it is disliked to engage in sexual activity when one needs to answer the call of nature.
And This usually happens when couples are engaging in the middle of the night. People are lazy to go to the bathroom, and so they engage into sexual activity. without answering the call of nature, we should understand that it is detrimental to one's health, and it is ever heard from the sooner perspective. Secondly, have an effect.
Or should we say menstruation and postnatal bleeding.
It is how long it is how long it is how long to engage in sexual activity when your wife is in her menses or when she is going through her postnatal bleeding. It is haram for the husband to have sexual relations with her. And this is because of the clear cut verse that we find in the Quran. Where's aluna Canyon Mahela all who are as an artist you know Nisa offenen Mahela Takara buena
vida Tata Haruna, to whom lemon Heiser Amara como la in the La Habra, Toby and we are hibou tato here in our Rasulullah they are asking you with regards to sexual intercourse, whilst the wife is in menses say to them that this is both you should not engage in sexual activity, when your partner is in her menses, they should wait for a period to come to an end. And thereafter they should engage in it. So in this verse, Allah clearly prohibits a lot clearly prohibits the men to engage in sexual activity with his partner, and he should wait till her period has come to an end. So that's important to understand, the same ruling would apply for postnatal bleeding. However, having said
that, it is permissible for the husband to take pleasure from his wife, as long as he does not engage in the actual act. So kissing and fondling will still be allowed, as long as there is a barrier between him and her in terms of the actual act. And those be finding the student of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam, as it I shall do lo Thailand and the rates, it can be done. Either kind of hard, even when one of us would be in our men says I'm not on how to sort of live so long while you're still in desert is in familiar bear shadow her, then the Prophet of Allah would say that create a barrier between myself and yourself. And thereafter he will then engage in other
forms of pleasure. So besides the actual act, it is still permissible for one another to derive pleasure, as long as that act is avoided. There's one factor that I'd like to clarify here, and that is of a safety hazard. Now listen to this carefully, is the howdah is abnormal uterine bleeding. In simple terms, a lady bleeds 10 days every month, but for some reason, her blood does not stop after 10 days, she continues to bleed after 10 days. So after the 10th day, that bleeding is known as a state how the or abnormal uterine bleeding. What is the ruling pertaining to sexual intimacy in those days. So the Sharia explains that anytime between the first and the 10th day, it is haram for
them to engage in it. However, after the 10th day, it will be halaal it will be permissible for them to engage in it to engage in the actual act of intimacy, even though she is bleeding. But this only applies to abnormal uterine bleeding, it only applies to a stay. However, if you don't understand the must Allah kindly refer to the books or refer to the Halima around you for further clarification. And the last must Allah for today. And that is pertaining to pregnancy and breastfeeding. Is it permissible for them to engage in sexual intimacy or not? Well, as far as Sharia is concerned, when a woman is pregnant, or while she is breastfeeding, it is totally halaal
and it is totally permissible for the couple to engage in sexual interest.
Of course and that brings us to the end of today's discussion.