Aisha (RA) – Mother of the Believers #10

Fatima Barkatulla


Channel: Fatima Barkatulla


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The host of a life and scholarship talk show discusses various books and websites covering various topics from the western], [In this segment, the speakers discuss various books and websites that contain information about the Islamic history. They also discuss the importance of learning about the Prophet sallimm's real woman and student, as well as the importance of mentorship and sharing knowledge to convey knowledge and help others reach a certain point. They stress the need for everyone to be aware of the negative consequences of their actions and measure their personalities during a period of political crisis. The speakers also mention the importance of witnessing the Prophet's teachings and preserving and preserving their long term marriage.

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Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah. The assisters Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Hi, and welcome to another session of the life and scholarship of Asia for the mother of the believers. And before I go ahead, I'd like to just ask all of you if you can hear me, and if you can see me, you can just let me know in the chat.

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So don't want to start unless

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it's all set up.

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Seems seems like everything's okay.

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As we're waiting for people to join us,

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I'll mention some of the or highlights some of the other books that I found in English and otherwise, on the life of HIV learner. As I said, if you're doing like proper research into life, and you really want primary sources, then the Muslim Ummah is probably the best thing to go for. Because it is

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all the hadith of Arusha

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gathered in one place, you know.

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But if you are relying on English, that that's why I'm assuming most people who are watching this are relying on then obviously, there are less kind of deep books.

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So I'm just going to show you some of them. While we're waiting. I think last time, I promised that I would

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show you the book a bit. This one is in Arabic, but it's basically.

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And if you can see, that would be so lovely. There was no

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why would you lie to her?

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Or safer to monisha T, fear, theta shot and moodgym. So basically, it's the houses of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and rooms

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and his and the description of his life within them. And then it says using the house of OSHA as a example or as a case study, right? So that's, that's the book that I was telling you about that has supposed to be all about that topic. And that is

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from a publishing company called Judah will dotnet

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I don't remember how I got it. It's Mohammed bin furnace and Jamil, the author.

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And I mean,

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it's quite detailed, you know, like, as much as he could find out, he did you know,

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I mean, it's even got things like drawings of

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the various types of pots and pans that would have been there at the time, the profits are low what he was selling.

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And similar to what we showed in, you know, one of the earlier sessions I was showing the house of I shut it down her its positioning and things like that. So he's just basically done research on on that topic as a whole.

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I don't know if I've shown you this book already. But this one is in all of those for those of you who

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are interested in books Inaudible.

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We can see that. So that's the art of the alarm. And this is by Sade Suleiman netherby.

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And this is a really good book because

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I don't know that this doesn't exist in the English language, in order to it's very nice, very beautifully written. And it's like comprehensive, I would say, and it's actually been translated into Arabic. So, basically this book so you get to see it see it to see that Oh, shut up.

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One more meaning of the law and her This is basically the exactly the same book but in Arabic.

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So the publisher for the order the one is

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it says Daruma. Suddenly Finn shibley Academy. Awesome girl up. Okay.

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Apparently they've got a website, www dot shibli

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But anyway, you can try and search for that, if you're interested. And the Arabic one is that we'll call him the mystery says.

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Again, if you just look up the author, so they might

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Another week. Let's see utilityman anatomy

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in Arabic we have this book by Hamid Mohamad damas.

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See you that is shot. This is like, This series of books

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is basically on. I found this on the web for series of books. Check it out.

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Siri. Siri is joining into our lesson. So just give me one minute to switch Siri off.

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Siri thought

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I was calling him.

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need to turn Siri over.

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It's nice to know that our, you know, technology is joining in with our lessons as well. It seemed we'll have like robots attending our courses, you know, artificial intelligence. Maybe we'll have teachers who are robots in the future. So Pamela

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Yeah. So this book I say that I share on what Minin

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walima nisolo. He certainly slum or limit Nisa Islam, the ultimate of the women the Muslim woman basically when Islamic women are women of Islam

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so that's a nice book. It's a series darbuka love the mission damage. They have like

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the CLR of every person really like prominent person from Islamic history.

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And this one I found in English

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This is so old I have no idea

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where I got it from but it says

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it is from Lahore. Okay, never been to Lauer but must be from my dad's house or something and it's called I should a truthful by Professor Fazal Ahmed heroes of Islam series. And it's

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published in Lahore.

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Okay, and it's nice. It's, it's actually beautifully written in English. I mean, the English and this is really good. Mashallah.

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But it's not very, very detailed, you know.

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And this book, I think you'd really like this is

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even like, in using it quite a lot. This is by a stove a lot of the night use online nowadays you can find online easily.

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And she has gathered

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14 hadith of Arusha. And her book is called 40 hadith of our mother Ayesha.

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And I really liked this little collection, you know, because it's kind of like gives you a good overview of different aspects of

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eyeshadow, the Dylan has.

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Hadith, you know, and the way she, how important her position. I mean, it gives you a really good snapshot of different aspects.

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So you can find this on Amazon.

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And another book that I would recommend if you're interested in Islamic history, and this is an English as well is it's available in English is the history of the hollyford who took the right way.

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And this one will have really good information about different aspects of each of the four

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caniff slaves, okay, and it's by Geraldine a suti. But you know, this is a translation. And this one is thought of publishers.

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Okay, let me see. Yes, people have continued to join us. I will share one more book with you. For those of you who are lovers of history.

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This one I love this book, right? This is from cube publishing.

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And it's caught you must have seen it. It's in the Islamic book shops. It's called a journey through Islamic history, a timeline of key events. Okay. Yes, Mina Hashem was big.

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And the great thing about this book is basically goes through

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if you want to really understand like, Islamic history, the different periods of different eras

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and you know how Islamic history is divided. So just like you know, when we studied the kings and queens of England, we had like the, you know, the different the various kings and queens and you know, what happened in their times and, etc, etc. There was the the Tudor period and then the Forgotten forgotten the names now Hanoverians and the Stewart's and in a similar way.

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Islamic history can also be looked at, in the sense that, you know, you have the abassi period, you have the Omega period, that abasi period, that

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was money period, and there was different periods in between that, and

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and then within those, there are different caelius. And there are different eras, right? So, it's quite interesting, if you're, if you want to kind of whenever you're studying something, especially, it's not something Islamic. If you're looking at the scholar and what he's saying, if you're reading a book, and you want to kind of understand where does this book sit in the, in the expanse of Islamic history, it's a good idea to have a book like that, or some way to sort of position you know, and understand, okay, where exactly was this? What was the context of this book? What was happening in that time? Is it after, you know, certain movements or is it before, etcetera,

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etcetera, you know, really helps you to contextualize things because human beings were affected by the context in which we live in and the scholars of Islam were no different, you know,

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often you might read a book, and you might think, why, why did this chef talk about this? You know, why did he address this issue? Was because something was happening in his times, right? That thing might not be happening today. And so it doesn't seem very important. But in his time, that was the thing that needed to be addressed, right? And so it's really important to when you're studying history to contextualize things. So inshallah with that term, we will start to speak about and continue with the life of Ayesha or the Lionheart.

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I wanted to talk about Asia or the Hadith that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,

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in which the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam actually gave a shot at the land hi glad tidings. So I share about the unhappy she narrates that.

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Laws messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Oh, Ayesha, this is Julian sending his greetings to you. I said peace and allows mercy be upon him.

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Ayesha added the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you used to see things which we use not to seek this habit is in say, hell behind. So this really shows you again, one of the beautiful aspects of the marriage of Russia and the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is eager to give her good news. And I shall get on her is a witness. And you know, she's literally a witness to Revelation, she's a witness to

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his prophethood. And, you know, she really tells you a lot about her status, right, that you believe Elisa says, senses greetings upon her. And she replies.

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And this kind of really gives you an insight into why I should have done her had that in mind that she had, right. I mean, imagine if you were living with the Messenger of Allah. And he was giving you glad tidings from gibreel. Right? That was like a part of your everyday life. Of course, what your mind would be so strong, right? you'd you'd literally be a witness to,

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to Islam, right Islam being revealed to humanity. And so I wanted to share that idea with you. And we were looking at different aspects of it. Surely the land has dynamic with the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. So what about I should have the land a student and protector of the legacy of the prophets and alone, he was alone?

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We said that I should have asked intelligent questions that was very important characteristic that she had that made her an excellent student made her an excellent vessel to receive the knowledge, right?

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Because she was naturally inquisitive, naturally curious. So she would ask intelligent questions, and she would follow up those questions you didn't just kind of completely, you know, ask a question. She gets an answer. And she just goes quiet wasn't like that. She would often ask a follow up question.

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Just to understand it more, or because she felt that or something that didn't make sense to her. Right. And then the profits on our salon would always entertain those questions. That was the beauty as well of their relationship. When she asked a follow up question, he would reply, he would also give her more you know, knowledge.

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Mashallah, so, that was a beautiful aspect of their relationship. She also had one thing that strikes you when you read her ahaadeeth and you see

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The way she interacted with the Prophet salallahu alaihe. Salam is she was a real logical thinker. You know, like, she's very rational when, when she, for example, or she would think of things that other people might not think of.

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Like when, you know, they had the youth where, when the prophets, Allah Salam told her that on the Day of Judgment, people will be raised, you know, without any clothes on, right?

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And she said, how what would it be like, you know, all the men and the women and everyone just like, without any clothes on how, how can that be like, how will they, you know, what kind of a situation will that be, right? And the prophets of Allah whatever Sallam said to her, oh, Ayesha, you know, the situation on that day is going to be way, way heavier, and way worse than for people to be looking at each other. Right? Because she was she was, she expressed that one, the men and the women were just looking at each other, right? And it's a panel of the prophets, that alone is said to her, and, and this really gives us knowledge, right, gives us this knowledge, that Subhana Allah, that

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Day will be so petrifying for human beings,

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that people are not going to care that they're standing there completely naked, right, Pamela?

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And it was due to her questioning that we got to know that or that we got to that that aspect got highlighted, right.

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that's just one example. But you'll find so many examples of that.

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Here, isn't it? I'm going to give you some examples of intelligent questions that she would ask. So you know, I should have done her she narrates that. I said, O Allah's Messenger. I have two neighbors. To Whom shall I send my gifts? He said to the one whose gate is nearer to you. And so he got it, right. So the first. So because you can see the way my mind is working, right? So you've got a gift, and you've got two neighbors? And you're thinking, should I give that one priority? Or that one priority? Or, you know, the one in front or whatever, right? And so she asks about this, and she's not afraid to ask, why shouldn't she you know, she's asking the best of creation, the person

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who would have this knowledge.

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And asuna. Last alone, while he was selling always gives her a nice little formula, right? It gives her an easy formula for her to figure it out for herself in the future, right? He doesn't give her a specific he doesn't say, give it to this neighbor. Right? He says, The one whose gait is nearer to you. So the way he gives her knowledge is such that now she can take that and apply it herself to different situations. Right. So Pamela, so it's because she was willing to ask those types of questions that now we know that right, we know that the neighbors who are closest to us they have greater right than the neighbors who are further.

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And this is this type of question that really a wife would ask because it's in those kind of everyday life situations that these kind of things come up, right? And you just want to ask, you just want to ask something quickly.

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You can't really imagine a woman for example, you know, who has traveled or who's come all the way to visit the Prophet sallallahu Sallam with an issue, asking these kinds of smaller kinds of questions, right? Because they wouldn't want to spend all of that, you know, this precious time that they have with the prophets of Allah, what he was asking about these little things. It's only somebody who was as close to him as Arusha who would have the luxury in a way and also the ability, the the opportunity to ask those questions. So it's really a blessing for us as believers, you know that she was that

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and that she was curious and wanted to ask another narration.

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And this shows you the protectiveness of Aisha over the legacy of the prophets of Allah what he said. She said in a hadith in Sahih Bukhari she says, Whoever tell whoever says that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam concealed part of what was revealed to him

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is a liar. For Allah says.

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And then she mentioned the ayah,

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O Muhammad, O Prophet, proclaim the message which has been sent down to you from your Lord. Chapter five, verse number 67. So panelists, so she's very protective. You know, she doesn't want she says,

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Look, anything that we needed to know, also wasn't allowed to sell and told us and anyone who makes up this

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or says, you know that there was types of knowledge that the prophet SAW sent him concealed from us, we needed to know or something like this, then they are alive. So see really shows you that

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since she believes this, and since she is saying this, she would have felt that she had a huge role in conveying that knowledge, right. So whatever the profits are low, and if someone had told her, she would know, the real, the responsibility, right, that she has on her shoulders to now convey that, because there were so many instances in which she would have asked him questions in private, right? When nobody was witness to that. So it's not like you'd find a blu ray IRA or other, you know, Sahaba would also be narrating those heads, right? She would probably, in many cases, be the sole person who would have had a particular Hadeeth. Right, because of the unique situation in which

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she was right, the intimate relationship that she had. And so she really saw it as a responsibility for her to convey that knowledge, right, as part of the profits on a loved one insolence, legacy.

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And what about as a mentee? So we said that the Prophet salallahu alaihe, Salam and Archer, they had a kind of a mentor, mentee relationship as well, right?

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Well, we know that, you know, the scholars of Islam, they encouraged us to have some of the sila him, right, to keep the company of righteous and pious people. And the reason for that is, when you keep the company of righteous and pious people, it rubs off on you right? Now, that doesn't mean that, you know, if you've got family members, if you've got people in your life that aren't pious that you should abandon, you know, it doesn't mean that.

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But what it does mean is that you need to have that little group of friends or especially elders, you know, who you do visit once in a while, who you do have a connection with, who help you to keep you on the straight path, right? They help you in the way you think. You can share things with them, and you know, that they will give you a type of mentorship, right? helping you to think in the right way in various situations, because it's a Pamela sisters, I don't know if you've experienced this, but it's so easy to give other people advice, isn't it. And then when we need advice,

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our minds just go a bit funny. Because it's just the nature of human beings, we find it easy, because we can see, when we were giving somebody else advice, we can see that situation, externally, we're looking at the bigger picture, right? And so we can use, you know, our knowledge, life experience, etc, to give them some advice. But when it comes to ourselves, what about ourselves, you know, it's very difficult because we are within that situation, we're too close to that situation sometimes, to be able to advise ourselves, you know, and so we need people externally, who can also look at our situation, you know, with a panoramic lens, who you like, and be able to give us advice,

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And so it's really important for us to realize the importance of having mentors and having

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the company of the righteous, you know,

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and I should learn how I was in such a unique position that she had the best, the best of mentors, right?

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The best of mentors. And another aspect of this, this important to highlight is,

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husbands and wives can be

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mentors to one another, you know, they can they affect each other's habits. I mean, it's a man and a woman, when they get married, they come from two different families. It doesn't matter even if you're from the same culture or if you're from the same country or from the same city.

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And the fact that you've been brought up by two sets of families, different sets of families means you're going to be different. And sometimes there's going to be good things in your husband's family, right culture, your husband's family culture, the habits that have been inculcated into him, that you can learn from that maybe your parents didn't inculcate in you and there may be habits that you have, and things that your parents taught you that he was not necessarily exposed.

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too. And so, the beauty of marriage, one of the beautiful things about marriage is that you get to get together with somebody who's come from a different background. And that there's a synergy that's created there, right? You can affect one another, you can choose to create a new culture, based on the best of his family culture and your family culture.

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So those are some of the things that we can kind of pick up from observing, I shot at the Manhattan the profits on a lot of what he was selling.

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And the fact that, you know, he was like a mentor to her.

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So here's one example. I should have built on her. One day, she gave some money in charity, right? Well, she gave some things in charity. And then she started regretting it, because she thought that maybe she'd given away too much.

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And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said to her,

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give and do not calculate.

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This is so that calculation will not be made against you on the Day of Judgment. Right.

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So and this Hadeeth is in even hibben and be happy. So

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what I really liked about that was that

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this is one of the beautiful things about a mentor, right? You might have a certain reaction, you might have a certain way of doing things. But look at how the Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam is teaching it should have been and how to think what attitude to have in this situation. And that's where I think a mentor, mentee relationship is different to teacher student relationship. You know, that's one of the aspects, teaching students very much knowledge based. Mentor mentee is really about best practice, right? It's about attitude. It's about mindset, a lot of the time so I really like the way the Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you know, situation happens in front of

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him. I shut down his regretting that maybe I gave too much in charity. And he's teaching her how to think, you know, don't count, just give, because we don't want a lot to start counting. And being too precise about things with us on the Day of Judgment. We weren't allowed to just forgive us as well, right? The way we were generous and not really counting every penny that we gave in charity.

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So Pamela, another example, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to her, I said to Ayesha, if you want to reunite with me, be in this world like a traveler. Keep away from being near the rich.

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And do not think about buying a new dress. Before the present one becomes so old, that it cannot be used anymore. So Pamela, have you been to the end? Hocking

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rock. So

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here was sort of loss of a lover. So I was giving her direct advice.

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This isn't something that he's commanding the rest of the Muslims with, right? So it's not like something that he's telling us that, you know, you should definitely not buy a new item of clothing until your old clothing is worn out. This is literally the advice of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam for his most beloved, right? Because he had a different standard for his own family. Right. And we mentioned that earlier didn't mean he had a different standard for his own family members. He didn't expect to them even with certain halaal things, he did not want them to indulge, he wanted to keep them away from from becoming too attached to this world, even more than the average Muslim. Right?

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So this is why he would have said to her, you know, don't keep the company of wealthy people, right. And because what happens when you keep the company of people who are more wealthy than you, what tends to happen is, you know, you start becoming dissatisfied with your own life, right? start noticing, and you start wanting those things. And then your mind becomes preoccupied with those things. Right. So I saw the last last time he wanted the best fighter, he wanted the highest status for her. And so he said, if you want to join me,

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then be in this world like a traveler. So Pamela, again, a mentor, telling his mentee,

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the kind of mindset that she needs to have

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Another example

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so Pamela, this is, this is after the death of the Prophet sallallaahu. It was one day

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somebody sent and this happens to happen to a lot. Of course life you knew I should have the lamp I was in the next city or you're going to Medina and you knew that Arusha is there? Wouldn't you send some gifts to the Lana? Right? Can you imagine what the Muslims of the next generation how they felt? Right? They, they would have traveled to Medina and Mecca, and they would have wanted to send her gifts. So some people had sent some gifts to eyeshadow on her.

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And she turned those gifts away. Okay. She said, No, I'm not in need of any gifts. Right? Then when they left, and they started turning away, she actually said to, you know, somebody who was there, she said, call them back, call them back.

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And she said, I remembered something that our soul Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told me,

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he said, Oh, Arusha. If someone gives you something, without you asking, never return it. Always take it, for it is a blessing Allah has offered to you, Pamela. So she actually called them back. And she accepted the gift because she remembered the advice of Rasulullah sallallahu, Alayhi Salaam to her. Right.

00:31:44--> 00:31:56

And again, it's all about mindset. This Hadith is in the Muslim, Mr. Mohammed, II. And from that had these by the way we learn that yes, that is the principle, you know, sometimes.

00:31:58--> 00:31:58

You know,

00:32:00--> 00:32:22

you don't know whether somebody is giving you a gift, because I'm just giving you an example. For example, if you if you're a speaker, if you give talks or if you teach in the masjid, or sometimes people give you gifts, and you're not really sure, like, should you be accepting those or not? Or, you know, what's the situation right? And here, the prophet, excuse me.

00:32:25--> 00:32:39

And here, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam is giving us a wonderful rule of thumb, for all of us to follow, right? If somebody gives you a gift out of the blue, you are not expecting it, you are not wishing that, oh, I hope they give me something, you know.

00:32:40--> 00:33:16

Sorry. You are not expecting them to give you anything and you just came out of the blue, it's just a gift that came to you then should accept it, you should see it as a blessing from Allah. Because ultimately, it's a loss of Allah who caused those people to give it to you. Right? And it's not piety, to reject that gift, or to like, do takala right, like, though, you know, no, no, no, you know, don't want is fine. I don't need it. I don't want to put you out. No, that's not the right attitude. Their attitude is to accept gifts, be gracious and accepting gifts, especially gifts,

00:33:17--> 00:33:20

and things that come to you without you asking.

00:33:22--> 00:33:43

So the mentor mentee relationship, and there there are other examples of it. But you know, we're just touching on a few little examples. What about actually the lion has friend as friend of the prophets that allows them to have a real friendship, right? A real affinity and there you can see in the sense of playfulness that they had with each other, right.

00:33:44--> 00:33:45


00:33:48--> 00:33:49

some examples

00:33:52--> 00:33:56

I showed on her reports that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:33:58--> 00:33:59

came to my house,

00:34:00--> 00:34:07

in to her house when two girls were beside me singing songs of wife,

00:34:08--> 00:34:48

which is like a battle I believe that happened. Right in the in history, in the history of the Arabs, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam laid down and turned his face to the other side. Then abubaker father came in and spoke to me harshly, saying, These are the, you know, the instruments of Shakedown near the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. He meant, you know, they're singing and they may have had a drum with them, you know? So he was like, disapproving of this right thinking that it seems inappropriate, in front of or sort of laughs and a lot what he was selling.

00:34:50--> 00:34:52

The Prophet turned his face towards him and said,

00:34:53--> 00:34:55

he said, leave them alone.

00:34:56--> 00:34:59

When abubaker became inattentive,

00:35:00--> 00:35:07

signaled to the goals and they left. So when I'm back, I wasn't really paying attention. She just said, okay, just leave. So they left.

00:35:09--> 00:35:17

It was the day of Eve, and the abyssinians were playing with shields and spears. Either I asked the prophet or he asked me.

00:35:19--> 00:35:21

Either I asked the prophet or he asked me

00:35:23--> 00:35:48

whether I would like to watch. And I said, Yes. Then the Prophet made me stand behind him, while my cheek was touching his cheek, and the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was saying, carry on or tribe of out of the earth either. I became tired and the prophets of Allah, whatever, Selim asked me, are you satisfied? And I said, Yes. So I left.

00:35:50--> 00:35:53

spamela So this hadith in Bukhari and Muslim

00:35:54--> 00:35:56

This is a one where,

00:35:57--> 00:36:00

you know, the famous one where I showed a villain her.

00:36:01--> 00:36:15

So at the beginning, it's Eve, and she has got some girls who are singing. And Walker is disapproving of it. But not all of us are sounds like this, okay? Let them sink, even to sink. And,

00:36:16--> 00:36:20

and then there's some kind of military display or some kind of

00:36:21--> 00:36:38

performance that's taking place in the masjid with the abyssinians. And so sort of lateral allometry solemn allows a chef to stand there. First of all, he wants her to see it, because she knows she'll enjoy it. And he allows her to stand there

00:36:39--> 00:37:01

behind him, and, you know, to look over his shoulder to be and he opens the curtain, so she can see it until she is satisfied, right. And then he lets go. So Pamela, and Amanda was early in your routine. When he was commenting on this hadith he says

00:37:03--> 00:37:19

all of these traditions are reported in the two authentic books, hello Buhari and Muslim and demonstrate that singing and playing is not unlawful. from them, we may deduce the following lessons. First, it is permissible

00:37:21--> 00:37:56

to play as the Abyssinian do in the habit of dancing and playing. Second, it is permissible to do this in the mosque. Third, the Prophet saying to RFP that was a command and a request that they should play. So how then can playing be considered unlawful. Fourth, the prophet prevented Abu Bakar and Omar from interrupting and scolding the players and singers. And he told abubaker that this festival was a joyous occasion and that singing was a means of enjoyment.

00:37:57--> 00:38:02

Fifth, on both occasions, he stayed for a long time with Ayesha

00:38:03--> 00:38:35

letting her watch the show of abyssinians and listening with her to the girls singing. This proves that it is better to be good humoured and pleasing women and children with games than to disapprove of such amusement out of a sense of harsh piety and asceticism. Six, the prophet encouraged it shall by asking her if she would like to watch. And seventh, he says singing and playing with the Duff is permissible.

00:38:38--> 00:39:14

So he drew all these points of benefit from this hadebe and similar had the, you know, where somebody was singing or you know, especially on aid, and people were disapproving, but the prophets Allah Selim allowed it, right. And so we were using this example to show how a sort of loss of allowing Selim knew that he had a playful nature. And he allowed for her to, to have that right. Yeah, I would have to have that and he allowed it, he indulged it, you know, within the boundaries of Allah subhanho wa Taala.

00:39:15--> 00:39:41

Um, of course, there's the famous racing incident, right? I showed her reports. She was with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam while on a journey. And she says, I raised him on foot and I outrun him. But when I gained some weight, I raised him. So at a later time, when she'd gained some weight, she said, I raised him again, and he outran me. And the Prophet sallallahu wasallam said,

00:39:42--> 00:39:50

this is for that race. In other words, you know, I'm getting you back for you winning last time, right. So final,

00:39:52--> 00:39:52


00:39:55--> 00:39:55


00:39:56--> 00:39:59

even Casio the scholar even comfier than the facility.

00:40:00--> 00:40:13

He says, it was the character of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, to live in a beautiful manner with his wives being cheerful, and kind to them, generously spending on them and laughing with them.

00:40:14--> 00:40:21

Right. And this is something you notice about like the sames, of even those famous singer bomber in this regard,

00:40:23--> 00:40:33

where, you know, when you're with men, so this is advice for the men, that when they are with men, they're encouraged to be, you know,

00:40:35--> 00:41:00

to have kind of relationship of gravitas, you know, to be standing, etc, etc, right. But when they're at home, and when they're with the families and their wives, encouraged even by, you know, former and others, to be playful, to be a bit light hearted, not to be too kind of Stern, right?

00:41:02--> 00:41:47

And we can see that in the example of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam as well. And really, I think it's really important to, to highlight that because when often when you know, when couples start having problems, when it comes to marriage, it's often when that playfulness has disappeared, right? It's when that kind of ability to laugh together, your ability to enjoy things together, has kind of dwindled, we've allowed it to dwindle, allowed it to kind of become more serious, right, that the relationship starts to suffer. So it's really important, I think we see from this, you know, the son of the Prophet sallallahu, wasallam.

00:41:48--> 00:41:57

And, you know, even from the marriage books that you read, and you know about how to maintain a good long term marriage, you'll read that, you know,

00:41:58--> 00:42:18

maintaining that sense of playfulness, enjoying things together, things that are light hearted and not heavy all the time, you know, because life is heavy as it is, right? There's already so much difficulty and challenges in life that couples have to deal with, right? Especially when they become parents.

00:42:19--> 00:42:41

So carving out some time, regular time, to do nothing but enjoy each other's company to enjoy doing something together is really important for the maintenance of a long term marriage. And I encourage all of you to make sure you, you know, incorporate that into your days into your months and weeks.

00:42:43--> 00:42:51

So I'm just going to check in with you guys some ways. When I'm in flow, I start getting worried like, what if they can't hear me?

00:42:57--> 00:43:01

Did you think it was funny when Siri decided to join in to our lesson?

00:43:07--> 00:43:08

Everyone's okay.

00:43:16--> 00:43:17

Okay, good.

00:43:19--> 00:43:20

See what time is.

00:43:24--> 00:43:28

Okay, we may have time to mention one more thing and then we can do the q&a.

00:43:30--> 00:43:37

Well, let's let's talk about Okay, I should have done has preserver of history and witness to Revelation.

00:43:39--> 00:43:40


00:43:42--> 00:44:26

this is just some examples of how I shadowed the land How could preserve for us certain things and you know, to Pamela who, who else gets to say, statements like, whenever the Prophet did this, or whenever the Prophet did that, he would do this. And very few people would have the opportunity to say it make a statement like that because very few people will have a prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam for that amount of time, right? Or that often, right? But I should have done hi and this hadith in Sahih al Bukhari she says, whenever Allah's Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was given the choice of one of two matters, he would choose the easier of the two, as long as it was not

00:44:26--> 00:44:45

sinful to do so. But if it was sinful, he would not approach it. Allows messenger never took revenge over anyone for his own sake. But he did only when a laws legal bindings were outraged, in which case he would take revenge for a loss sake.

00:44:46--> 00:45:00

So Pamela, so in this Hadith, Arusha, and she's one of the key people who has the right to make statements like this says whenever a loss messenger was given the choice between too much

00:45:00--> 00:45:04

They are allowed, right? He would choose the thing that was easier

00:45:05--> 00:45:41

as long as it was not sinful to do so. And obviously, she can only make that statement because she's observed him in so many different situations, right? You couldn't make that statement from one situation or two situations. It's when you've seen somebody so many times in so many different situations, you start noticing a pattern, right. And again, it shows you the intelligence of it Shabana, she is literally looking for patterns. She's looking for, you know, okay, in these situations, all these situations, he's us chooses the thing that would be easier, right.

00:45:44--> 00:45:52

And another thing, she noticed that whenever the profits or loss, Ellen was taking the right or taking revenge, when she says revenge, it means

00:45:54--> 00:45:57

recompense, you know, trying to get, you could say

00:46:00--> 00:46:03

compensation, right? for something. And he's trying to,

00:46:05--> 00:46:14

you know, reciprocity. For a situation when he's trying to get a reciprocity for a situation, it would be a situation where

00:46:16--> 00:46:32

the right to holla was taken, not for his own personal grievances. Right. And Pamela, that's also something beautiful, that we can learn so much from right, that, you know, sometimes somebody has slighted us,

00:46:33--> 00:46:39

somebody has not spoken to us in a polite way, or somebody has annoyed us or somebody is being disrespectful, whatever.

00:46:41--> 00:46:42

It's better

00:46:43--> 00:47:14

to overlook those kinds of things, you know, if we can, this is what the profits are low, and he was telling him what do you know, people would come sometimes and be quite rough, could be quite uncouth, you know, in their behavior towards him. And he never kind of showed annoyance with that. Right. He would kind of be patient with people's idiosyncrasies in that regard. But when it comes to the rights of a lot when it comes to the deen, he was upfront about things right.

00:47:17--> 00:47:30

So again, you know, she is literally preserving and witnessing the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in a way that only somebody as intimate as her could.

00:47:31--> 00:47:32

In another narration,

00:47:34--> 00:47:52

sweat he was one of our students. He says, I asked Ayesha, what did the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to do at home? She replied, he used to keep himself busy serving his family. And when it was time for prayer, he would get up for prayer.

00:47:53--> 00:47:59

So again, we mentioned this last time in another context, but here what I'm trying to highlight is

00:48:01--> 00:48:14

only she had the ability to say something like that her and the other wives, right that this is what he used to be like at home. Even the men did not have any insight into that. Right, not proper insight anyway.

00:48:15--> 00:48:44

You know, Omar abubaker, and of mine, they may have come in and out sometimes visited him in different situations. Same with I leave the line Oh, he had lived with him, you know when he was younger. But now, especially throughout the Medina period, which is the period where the rules the laws of Islam came right. The laws, the rules, they all most of them came in the Medina and period.

00:48:45--> 00:49:39

In the Macan period, it was more the basics, the Salah, the CRM, you know, some of the basic things were being established Medina and period more detailed rules and laws, the hijab all of these things that came later, right? So I shadowed the Lionheart is witness to the way the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was at the time when he was sealing His revelation, right, the end of His revelation, the read the end of the revelation and his message and his prophethood. So she was able to say and really witness and preserve and convey to everybody what the last way of life of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was, the way of life that he had been developed by Allah Subhana Allah to

00:49:39--> 00:49:40


00:49:46--> 00:49:59

And we also see from this Hadith, how, even though the profits on the law when you send them like any human being was somebody who would spend time with his family, helping, serving, doing chores, doing everything that a man has to do.

00:50:01--> 00:50:06

Salah was so important. As soon as it was time for the Salah, he would get up and go.

00:50:07--> 00:50:15

Right. And so we as women, we have to create that kind of environment at home, you know, that the men of the house, they

00:50:16--> 00:50:32

are always prioritizing the seller, especially, you know, the Allison's younger those who are under our care, we have to inculcate the attitude in them, you know, because the salaat is supposed to interrupt our day.

00:50:33--> 00:50:35

just become conscious of time.

00:50:37--> 00:50:43

So, inshallah, I'm going to leave the rest of the time for any questions that people have.

00:50:48--> 00:50:51

If you have any questions, please do ask in the chat.

00:51:06--> 00:51:07

See what's going on?

00:51:21--> 00:51:28

What was the age difference between I should have done and also the last lesson, please. So

00:51:29--> 00:51:35

the profits or loss of them died when he was 63. Right?

00:51:36--> 00:51:44

So the loading center, and Arusha was 18 when he passed away, so you can work that out.

00:51:52--> 00:51:53

Any other questions?

00:51:56--> 00:52:03

that a lot of people saying that enjoying the sessions is up along Heron? what age did I shut down her die?

00:52:04--> 00:52:06

I believe it was 58.

00:52:10--> 00:52:22

So I'm like, imagine like, when the profits or loss and and passed away, she was still a teenager, she lived so many decades after that. So that's why I think it's really important for us to have

00:52:24--> 00:52:30

this class because we know so much about her life, during the life of the profits and losses, but afterwards,

00:52:32--> 00:52:35

few of us know that much about it.

00:52:50--> 00:52:52

Yeah, when it comes to age gaps,

00:52:54--> 00:53:09

you know, again, that's not something that's considered particularly important. islamically You know, it's okay for a wife to be older than ours when it's okay for her husband to be older than the wife as long as they agree and get married.

00:53:14--> 00:53:20

Okay, so if there were no questions, what I'm going to do is quickly, I'm going to go through

00:53:22--> 00:53:27

this is something that is a little bit unorthodox, I know right? But

00:53:28--> 00:53:36

I like thinking about things like this. So, you know, there are the five famous personality traits, right, which

00:53:38--> 00:53:48

modern day psychologists have kind of looked at, you know, 1000s of people and their personalities and distilled

00:53:50--> 00:53:58

human personalities into kind of five major traits that you can kind of measure in human beings, right.

00:53:59--> 00:54:00

And those are

00:54:01--> 00:54:22

openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Right? And this is obviously this isn't I'm not doing something scientific here, because I don't know I should have been in person, right. But I thought it was quite interesting to kind of just look at the five personality traits and

00:54:23--> 00:54:38

consider it shenana. And where she kind of falls in terms of her personality in these different areas, you know, and I'd encourage you, you know, if you want to go online and look up,

00:54:39--> 00:54:40

I think there's this

00:54:41--> 00:54:59

kind of questionnaire thing online, where you can kind of get a little report on your own personality. I think it's called 16 personalities or something. So if you just do type in personality test, it'll randomly come up and encourages you to answer lots of questions and based on those questions,

00:55:00--> 00:55:12

tells you about where you kind of fit in terms of personality traits. And although that shouldn't be something that limits you, and it shouldn't be something that you know, makes you kind of

00:55:13--> 00:55:30

pigeonhole yourself into one area or another, what it does do is give you a lot of insight into maybe some areas that you might need a bit of help in, or areas that you might have neglected. It makes you very self aware. And I think that's, that's always a good thing. Right.

00:55:32--> 00:55:34

So anyway, with regards to I should have Ilana,

00:55:36--> 00:56:23

I'm going to tell you, I think, maybe later on in a few sessions, when we've looked at each other in his life, especially towards the end, maybe we'll revisit this and you can tell me what you think. Right? So openness is usually the is a kind of what it means is, it's the degree of intellectual curiosity, creativity, and preference for novelty for new things like openness to new things. Right. That's one of the five personality traits. And I think I should add that on her, was very high in openness. She was very open. We already know that right? curiosity, creativity, and wanting to sort of experience new things.

00:56:25--> 00:56:50

And open to new ideas, I think she was high. When it comes to openness. conscientiousness, is basically the tendency to be organized, and very kind of, in many ways, it could be being quite regimented, and dependable, right. And I think, and you know, by the way, these personality traits, they're not necessarily positive or negative, because

00:56:53--> 00:57:08

human beings need to be different types of personalities for society to work, right. We need some people who are very high in creativity and openness, and maybe they're not so kind of conscientious. But they have the creativity, right.

00:57:10--> 00:57:52

And we need people who are quite rigid and, you know, able to follow things by the book and be very meticulous. And you know, they might not be very creative. We need different types of people right in society. So quickly, conscientiousness, I think I should have done that was kind of in the middle when it comes to conscientiousness. I'll tell you why. Because when it came, when it came to matters of the dean, she was conscientious and she was precise, right? But when it came to some of the kind of worldly matters, you can see a lot of evidence of her not being very high in conscientiousness, being quite easygoing. And sometimes, you know,

00:57:54--> 00:57:57

you know, being quite, because she was so young.

00:57:59--> 00:58:07

I'll give you one example. Right? So you know, there's in later on, it will come of the slander via the Lana,

00:58:08--> 00:58:27

one of the servants who was asked about the character of Aisha, she said, Oh, you know, she just sometimes, you know, she's needing the, the, the, the, the dough for the bread, and she'll just fall asleep, and then a goat will come in and just eat it, right.

00:58:29--> 00:58:44

Like from that, and from some other stories, you know, the fact that later on, wealth used to come to her and she didn't really used to count and she just used to give it away. And sometimes her servant would say to her, I wish you kept some for us, you know, we need it.

00:58:45--> 00:58:58

So just based on that, and based on my observations of her personality, I feel like she was in the middle when it came to contrast, conscientiousness, not extremely high in conscientiousness,

00:58:59--> 00:59:10

maybe middle to low in conscientiousness, when it comes to worldly things, but when it came to being you could see that she was very precise and meticulous about those matters.

00:59:11--> 00:59:13

Okay, I think we're gonna have time

00:59:15--> 00:59:18

would you like me to just finish this off quickly?

00:59:20--> 00:59:22

I can give it another five minutes.

00:59:23--> 00:59:27

And just quickly go through the last ones, or would you prefer if?

00:59:30--> 00:59:51

Okay, I'm gonna finish this off. And anyone who has to leave, I completely understand you could catch up with the video later, you know, YouTube inshallah. So what about extraversion? What do you guys think? I want to hear what you actually I should be asking you. What do you guys think when it comes to extraversion, the tendency to seek the company of others and to talk?

00:59:53--> 00:59:59

Right, so somebody high in extraversion would be quite outgoing and energetic. Somebody

01:00:00--> 01:00:05

Low in extraversion would be quite reserved and liked to be alone more

01:00:07--> 01:00:07


01:00:10--> 01:00:17

Sister says very extrovert in the middle. I'm interested to know why the person who says in the middle says in the middle,

01:00:18--> 01:00:22

she seems very outgoing and social. Yes.

01:00:28--> 01:00:33

ambivert? What? What is an ambivert? Is that supposed to be like a bit of both?

01:00:36--> 01:00:38

I don't know about about ambiverts.

01:00:42--> 01:00:48

By the way, do you agree with me with the openness and the conscientiousness that I mentioned?

01:00:53--> 01:00:54

Yep. So social.

01:00:55--> 01:01:05

When it comes to extraversion, I think she was pretty high in extraversion, you know, like, medium to high. Definitely not an introvert.

01:01:06--> 01:01:07


01:01:09--> 01:01:11

you get the impression from?

01:01:12--> 01:01:24

Okay, this is the saying in the middle, because there is a sense of modesty, and being very outgoing may contradict that. And she wasn't completely the opposite, because she interacted with all in a purposeful way.

01:01:30--> 01:01:31

Yeah, I mean, the thing is,

01:01:33--> 01:01:34

that dressing modestly,

01:01:36--> 01:01:40

that doesn't contradict being an extrovert, you know, because

01:01:42--> 01:01:44

that's how you have to behave in public, right?

01:01:45--> 01:01:48

You can still be quite an extrovert, but not,

01:01:50--> 01:02:04

but be modest at the same time. So I believe that she was quite high in extraversion, simply because she was always willing to express when she tells her stories, she expresses them in a lot of detail, you know, etc. And

01:02:06--> 01:02:40

you can tell that she does thrive from social interaction, right? She had a lot of students afterwards, she wanted the company of people, you could tell that, even though she maintained her modesty, and also her willingness to speak up a willingness to express and to tell us things. Not all of the wives of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam necessarily did that, right. So that's why I believe that she's high in extraversion. The other two are agreeableness, a measure of one's trusting and helpful nature.

01:02:42--> 01:03:01

I think she was middle to low in agreeableness. And what that means is that she didn't just go along with things. She wasn't averse to conflict. And we'll see that later on. You know, when she believed in something, she would stand up for it. She didn't just try to agree with people and go along with things, right.

01:03:03--> 01:03:36

So she was willing to challenge things and she was even willing to go against the opinions of many of the Sahaba. Right. And in terms of neuroticism, which is the last one predisposition to psychological stress. I think she was quite low in neuroticism. She was quite secure person, quite confident. And I don't think she was a nervous person. I don't think she was very, very sensitive either. I think she was quite overlooking of people's faults, as we'll see later on, as well.

01:03:38--> 01:03:59

So, there we go. The five personality traits do look them up in Sharla. And with that, I'm going to leave you because I know that everyone has to go now. So does that come along? Heron subhanak, Allahu Mohammed ik ash, Heather La Ilaha Illa. De esta Furukawa to be like, Salam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh