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Tap into your potential – 25.09.2014

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Edris Khamissa

Channel: Edris Khamissa

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Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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10 past 11 Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

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Welcome to our metric on registan International it is Thursday morning. And while it feels like a Monday we must know that I will be concerned radiation is that

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constellation is that we have flight it more than weekend starts all over again and to share this happy news we have on the line for the ISS semies and Mr. De Kumara de la walaikum salam wa rahmatullah wa barakato my most beloved, share harmala How are you? Very, very well humble, I'm not sure that it is but how you keeping I am doing good Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah we got no complaints and hamdulillah sugar m we are you today this way. I am here in Devon inshallah the leaving in a few hours to Cape Town, just to help one family out inshallah megawide all goes well inshallah

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Baraka and success in your counseling, in your assistance of whoever needs that assistance.

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It is why we are at the end of basically a weekend where we had Wednesday off and now going back to another weekend, and it's definitely happy news for us.

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Very good news, you know, along the line, the break is always good, you feel that you can replenish yourself and, and tackle your challenges with play, and confidence in Sharla.

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And you always need a break, or if it's not a break, you need some opportunity to recharge your batteries, and to find once again, what you've lost of it may have that have that energy, that motivation.

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This is the nature of life. You know, being an ally is showing it to us in many, many different ways. The fact that you have to sleep, you get up I mean, you if you work for 24 hours a day, you know, you are going to break down in many ways. It's about living a balanced life. And understanding what your purpose is in your life. And ensuring that you align yourself to that purpose is an opportunity to relook at our priorities, to look at our objectives, in terms of our relationship with Allah bless us in

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relationship with the oma

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with our spouse or families, and everyone else you know, and that that, to me, is fundamental. Because sometimes the only take stock of things when we have lost a loved one, then suddenly we realize you know what,

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I could have been a better person to this individual, I could have been a better husband, a better wife, a better father, a better son, better daughter, you know, so on and so forth. I think it's important that sometimes in our life can be very frenetic we can be, we can be very, very busy, but busy doing what what are you doing? busy doing what when the people who say to you how often they say to you, you know, brother, I got no time I got no time I've got no time. And suddenly a tragedy befalls them. Or suddenly they son, that innocent son of this has become in a person that is to addiction of drugs, then you have your life stop suddenly, but all the time in the world, but the

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damage is done. And the break is important a break. It does not only mean you cut yourself off, but it also is an opportunity for you to reflect on your life, to pause to stop in your tracks.

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And

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being so busy in our lives, sometimes the question comes in front of us that do you do continue in whatever activity you are doing that's keeping you so busy, that you are not finding time for your family? You're not finding time to bond with those who are near and dear to you? Or do you say that the rather focus on family and you know, just saying that on on my other activities. In fact, you know, it's a good point that you raise, and you find that the end America when you are with your family, you know, Allah opens doors. And, of course, you know, it's a discussion I was having this morning

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and I said you know I mean that in life, you know allies

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You know, it's got infinity resources, and you use or tie your camel and put your trust into Allah is you got to do whatever you can. But you got to make sure the same time that you are not so busy, so busy, that your family doesn't meet you see you, and so on and so forth. And as a result, they don't get to know you. I think it's very important to have the parents and then the bottom line, and it's easy for, for me to talk. But the bottom line is that raise your trust is your trust in Allah. What is your trust in your efforts is your trust in your friends, is your trust in the bank way is your church. And when you trust Allah completely, Allah will open doors to say whatever you You must

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have high expectations of Allah is are you sending a youngster

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I gave him a lift, and he was chatting with me. And so I thought this is an opportune time for me to give him a car. And I said to him, you know, brother, a no in life, you can't sit back, you got to do whatever you need to do. You got to put your trust in Allah completely, because he is the provider. And the few things I shared with him and one of the points that he raised, and perhaps you can even discuss, and that upon the program, he said, You know, he is in mitrik at alfalah. And he was telling me he made an observation. The observation he mean is he says that, when he looks at our generation, we found there was a far greater degree of selflessness, personal sacrifice. And he said

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people did not do things for the illegals. And he says, When I look at my friends, my colleagues and people around me, in this generation sees the whole issue of whatever they're doing. They're doing it for their own self enrichment and the ego. And they isn't that kind of community spirit. And that's something that he shared with me. And we're coming back to what you are saying, it's very important than then this is the whole point is how do you attain the balance? What do you do? Do you suddenly decide this is what I'm going to do? Or do you not in the spirit of Shura,

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discuss with your family because one of my recurring themes with people is I tell husbands and wives, and they've got big kids Alhamdulillah is a sit down and developer, the college template a, a daily routine from you know, from Friday to Friday.

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You know, what they're going to do? The general things they'll do together as a family, what are the specific things they'll do? What is the mean time they're going to do? And this to me was important, you know?

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Okay.

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It is by we've, we're one of the topics that I'd like to also look at, is taking a lesson or taking a question from the recent

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collapse of the building in Nigeria. And also seeing a story coming out of one of the newspapers this morning. His

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grass eating congregation now drinks pineapple flavored metal. So So basically, the question is that, are we so gullible as a people, that you will fall for anything or any trick that is put forward to us in the name of faith in the name of religion, just so that we can get some false hope? in our life, I was so desperate for false hope that will fall for anything. You're a moron. I, you know, it's so true. You know, today, there are many parts of the world, I was just telling someone that if I were to go to one part of the world, and gobble some nebulous philosophy, and I'll get a million philosophers were million followers, because many of them are disenchanted with what's going

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on around them. They're looking for instant gratification. They're looking for someone out there that speaks to them about things they want to listen to, and and you find that people are indeed very, very gullible. They are very, very gullible and therefore you have what you call mass hysteria. And this is something that we need to understand. And it is an indication, indication to us as believers, the people are really thirsty. They want the deen of Islam and really we are not presenting it to them in a way that is palatable. I'm not saying you compromise on the deen. We are not doing the Dawa as we should in terms of our conduct, in terms of our beliefs in terms of our

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social etiquette. And, and they are people like that. I mean, there are so many examples. What about the example of I think some years in America, where this person this cult leader got about 70 or

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People if not more, to commit suicide.

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And they will do that because what happens, these people give them a kind of century, right. And often, their motivation is not fatal, per se, the leaders of this, they're motivated by the money that they lead, very affluent lives, a life of opulence. And they're not in the so what they do, they basically exploit the innocence the naivety of people around them. And therefore, and that's an important indication for us to understand that we, as parents, you got to make sure that we are the one that really share values, invite values, nurturing, that I channeled meaningful values, so they do not fall prey to any individual who shares a philosophy of life, that goes physical to Islam.

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That negates the existence of Allah. That negates exists and abuse and allow us to learn and negates really the validity of the Quran. And you find that we as parents, you know, sometimes we are so busy, that we do not give our children what I call effective antidotes to all of this. Now, and this is important that sometimes,

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there are parents who are so concerned about ensuring the kids need a comfortable material life, they expend all the energy doing that way. And sometimes the little or no energy spent in saving themselves and muscle from the fire of hell. No energy spent in creating in the children, Allah for the deen Allah for Allah, Allah for the love for, for humanity, a love for generosity, and all of these things. So you find that there are many people that are susceptible to this, the idea of people that are what you call as demagogues, as it were, who use the power of eloquence, to miss summarize other people to exploit the innocence for the own engineer.

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And

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we have no shortage, unfortunately, of people who are willing to fall for this, as you said, that you previously present an idea to them and present a certain thought, and you'll have 1000s of followers overnight. And this boils down to what our faith actually lies in, and where our focus should actually be.

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Absolutely. And you'll find this a, you know, you feel, you see, the thing is, we got to develop what we call a critical mass of individuals that are critical of the media, because it is said that whoever controls the media controls your mind. So it's very important that people understand how the media works, that they need to critique what they hear, they need to understand, who is it that owns the media, you got to understand what is being said, How is it being said, because what happens, many of the individuals exploit the vulnerability of individuals, they exploit the use security of individuals. So what they do is, these are false prophets. They give them a sense of security, they

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give them hope, you know, when there is no hope, and what happens to create a kind of psyche, that changes their whole way of thinking. But what they really do is to control them in the environment.

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Yes, this is a type of brainwashing that they are looking at and

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controlling them, controlling their thoughts controlling the actions. And we see this happening all the time. And yet, we find more and more people falling into it. It is a it's a it's a story of hope. It's a story of

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having some faith in something and having this type of hope in whatever you can latch on to. Why are we so desperate for this hope? And why aren't we finding the hope in the right place?

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That's the point. That's a deal. The point is, you know, as believers as people of the faith and above Muslims, for me, a real challenge is how do you introduce Islam for children, you got to introduce it to them. at an age when they are so malleable, they are open. They are people of innocence, in a way that it resonates with them. It connects with them, that they will never forget. It will understand that they'll understand that whatever the scene this whole nothing happens except the will of Allah. That means at every given turn they know Allah is it that Allah is a control of everything that they never lose hope they understand our last plan and this is important.

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into what what happens is this, these today, this whole idea of leaving a hedonistic life, a life of pleasure of flippancy, on the one hand, on the other hand, you have those individuals whose lives are empty, because they have not followed, you know, the safety, they have not understood it. And as a result, then you get people like what happened in Nigeria, to exploit that in people who are traveler far, and what is worse, that it's almost, you know, they are mesmerized, they almost be reached in austrac. And there's almost a kind of fixation about this. And they will get people who say, you know, I was like this and look at me now, and so on and so forth. They have people around

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them, who would really fly the trade, and share these things with them.

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Okay, let's take this opportunity to welcome our listeners to the program. It's our mastery palladius time International, my guest is brother Idris komiza. And we are speaking on social issues extremely six months after 11. You're welcome to SMS on 0731738461. You can also call in on Oh 118541548

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is his way of speaking about these people who give false hope and who give hope, basically, to people and the type of following that they get a great

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number of these people rely on social media as well, and use the social media for to to to their advantage as well.

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Absolutely, what happens is that the media is a very, very powerful tool. And social media is like felt fire, you know, it's it, this is there. And it's everywhere, it's around you. And then what happens is, when you listen to them speak, they will speak in a language that is powerful, it is emotive, it connects with your heart, and they have the powers of oratory and rhetoric. And we listen to that you say, wow, this is speaking to me, it's about my pain, and so on and so forth. And they show almost like an empathetic understanding to what the people say, in the group or whatever the audience is going through. And not only that, that media goes throughout the world. And you'll

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find people, even intellectuals, people from diverse backgrounds, who would go there. And and what's happened is they've set themselves up in many ways and say, you know, what, this is it for me, speaking to me, is calling me and people are so desperate to spend the last cent or last dollar or pound, you know, to undertake this trip, and great expense, and they will come back in celebrating this because what they do is they essentially change the mindsets of people. You know, for example, you find that many people will say, keep on saying I can do it, I can do it, I can do it, I can do it, I can do it. And so no four days is kind of the refrain, you know, is repeated, you know, for so

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many times, and you have a wonderful sense of being but what happens after a period of time when you realize that you're disappointed that this seems not working anymore, and but in the meanwhile, you have been duped because if you have gullibility that individual has made lots of money and people around him who aid and abet him to do those things.

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To the nine minutes after 11 you're listening to our master record Reggie slam International. We going for a short break and inshallah when we come back we'll continue on our program Stay tuned for my second at some special price drop is back. Same applicant pay was great offers Brooks Oh Ross original orange squash two liter 2192 and Sabre one my toilet tissue fifteens 4590 lucky star should have the tuna in drive of vegetable oil 170 grams 1119 snowflake cake with flour 2.5 kG 1990 Pampers disposable nappies newborn mini 94 maybe 80 twos Maxi 68 Maxi plus 60 twos jr 58 baby extra large 40 459 190 per pack save even more time and money what we can pay brand match we shop around so you

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send her presents special Kobani program we can help with a program presented by Alma covering the history and virtues of Kobani shipment of

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Animals the local regulations and an open question and answer session in your Masjid Can you request your Imam official to contact us to arrange this inshallah any queries pertaining the above or any aspect of Allah may be referred to our offices helpline 0861786 civil one email [email protected] today, but argue Islam

00:20:29--> 00:20:29

will hire

00:20:32--> 00:20:44

Tony Levin 50 Welcome back to courageous crime international for come back to our guests by the this Cammisa used by us saying something just before the break MSU the engineer put your mic down

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hastily

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Okay, see it is by is not listening to us or is not pay any longer let's try and get through to him once again and inshallah houses we can continue with our discussion. We were discussing different issues with regards to

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the effects of people who basically

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look at us and, and see the vulnerability of the general public and take advantage of this fungibility and, and we are generally able to make it through without

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getting informed without getting caught, but then somehow or the other you find,

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sometimes we just get caught and you don't know why you get caught by by playing, not even pranksters, but other by these people are actually absolutely fraud and giving false hope and making people believe what is right this is important.

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This is an important discussion, it is value there.

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Okay,

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you are seeing something just before the break, and we go because cut off the No, no.

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Okay, okay.

00:22:13--> 00:22:13

All right.

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Did you say some of the cases that you've been dealing with,

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or yesterday in many cases I've been dealing with, and

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one of the issues that I've learned is this is something that is a recurring recurring pattern. And this is something that I often speak about is that when your children

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at home, you got to make sure that the meta wasn't how affluent you might be, that they must be taught exactly how to look after home, you must understand the value of money.

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understand the value of hard work and work ethic. And that's really critical. Because often what happens when you have to get to the responsibilities of marriage, because what is happening there is to expect things to happen to them. They expect anyone to get late to them. And they often show a lot of insensitivity to people around them, because the value system in which they grew up wasn't the value system. It wasn't the value system about working hard. But you have value system about

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participation, that the value system of entitlement and that find that is becoming a problem.

00:23:50--> 00:23:54

Sorry to interrupt you, they will be able to move around a little bit. Your nine is very

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the moment

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it sounded

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better, more distant. Okay, the pinnacle closer to the set one seconds.

00:24:17--> 00:24:20

26 minutes to travel listening to imagine a Canadian.

00:24:22--> 00:24:28

Yes, it's much clearer. Okay, fine. Okay. If he has some funny sounds in the kitchen

00:24:30--> 00:24:34

I guess no, the delectable dish they want to feed you fly gold.

00:24:39--> 00:24:54

Yes, it is based on what you were discussing some of the problems that you are dealing with. Yeah. So I was saying that we need to look at that. One aspect right. The other the other important aspect is is that you know,

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when you marry

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someone

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You know, ideally speaking,

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in the best situation, the man must be the man of the house, he must be the breadwinner. And he mustn't, for example, expect his wife to support him and miss things in a car prior to marriage, where the man says, You know what, I'm just starting off.

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No worry, we will support you in the process and support when you become comfortable.

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And that's problematic, especially when the marriage isn't working out. And this can become a thorny issue.

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Not only did I want to be the man of the house, I would like to be the breadwinner of the house, I would like to be born in the house. It's not about

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legacy status. This is really, really important. So what often happens when we have the other case scenario,

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then the wife gets farther than demand, then that mode becomes insecure and vulnerable. And then sometimes you may use that as an opportunity to bullies

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to oppress the husband. So that's the issue, we must be very, very clear about before you get married about the financial arrangements. I mean, I heard the other case the other day, and it shocked me, when, for example, where the husband wife agreed to show expenses in everything. And it was so ridiculous, that there is surely even expenses in terms of, you know, when they went through a funk Jesus, okay, many agree, for example, the devil in the project on the way that you pay for it. And that's gone is ridiculous. What is important is the need to support each other. The other important aspect is to discuss each one of them is the following.

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When you have an issue with your spouse, is the issue because of what your spouse did? Or is it because you yourself are insecure? yourself in the nociceptive? key? What is the motivation? And I think people can say something that I recommend very strongly that before you discovered the ability to discover yourself,

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exactly who you are. What is it that motivates you? What is it that makes you very, very end. And the last thing I want to mention is that anger seems to be a common thread. In many of the schools now I'm coming across. And you know what?

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That meant, that men who raise his hand, who seek his wife, that man is a coward, that men who

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abused, physically assaulted life in children is a habit to to not be even the gods mystery, but as a human being on this earth, and that really shocking is not my brothers and my sisters, that they also example the woman want

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to do these things, need your hands with you, oh, yes, you my friend, my friend, that

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will not be able to raise your hand, man because you can retaliate. And then at the end of it all, the poor wife is from your place to go apparents either living or the dead, but they are not permitted to help us. He has to have a dignity. And

00:29:05--> 00:29:40

that, to me, is something unacceptable. And something that we need to understand that really big medical institution mistakes, I'm not perfect, I was never a perfect husband. Neither my wife is perfect. We make mistakes and forgive us. But importantly, we need to respect the institution of marriage, we need to understand what it is in competently formed. This also goes beyond our depth. And we need to understand the importance of it. The the the gravity of it, and this

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is something unacceptable. And the poor woman does not shed to name one else. She set

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the mark in the body to make an excuse to make an excuse and what is worse, that sometimes she says no, no

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No, it's my fault. Maybe my fault? No,

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no man has a right and you know, our

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chairman, he is our complete, comprehensive example, an example for humanity at large to follow an example. That is

00:30:20--> 00:30:21

a perfect example

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of virtuous parenting.

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And he's an example for us to follow

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on Instagram. And,

00:30:37--> 00:31:26

yes, the one aspect that you brought up in both of these are in fact related, where the husband is not actually fulfilling the rights that he has, or the responsibilities that he has towards his family, particularly towards his wife, and we need to make sure that he free marital before this feels a no as husbands what our responsibilities are, towards our wives. And in fact, even in the case of divorce in case of separation, when the husband needs to know what his responsibilities are towards his ex wife in the days of her ADA, and also towards his children, as well, even though his ex wife may be earning, but it is actually his responsibility when it comes to maintenance of the

00:31:26--> 00:31:26

children.

00:31:28--> 00:31:54

A valid point and I I've said this so many times, I say that the Jimmy should make it mandatory, compulsory, that premarital counseling must take place. And we put in place in a very comprehensive way for the reality that the young people need each other to learn and unfamiliar. Don't ask is hard 50 to fear, there may be some kind of rejection,

00:31:55--> 00:32:15

to the wishes, the same young boys and girls to feel the chemistry to each other. The same young boys and girls who understand the same man boys and girls, and send me after two or three months the marriage is over. Because you don't want to not be afraid to invest in the marriage, I'm prepared to discuss the pain to see young boys

00:32:16--> 00:32:59

and talk to her with loving affection, sending text messages, get knowledge from the marriage, family show the title thing that they never knew existed, because part of premarital counseling is to understand the temperament of the person, what is the temperament? What is the attitude towards money? What the attitude about budget was attitude towards the Lord? What is also important the premarital counseling to discuss the relation between me and my wife, how should we resolve that? Should we get a mediator? How should we go about? What is the level of communication? Who is friends? What should she do now and so on? There's so many questions that need to be discussed and

00:32:59--> 00:33:15

they are discussed. And then there's something to compromise on. And something you say these are non negotiable. I mean, for example, you asked the men are given the menu and but how would you support me to the printer with you, your father is a multi millionaire may

00:33:17--> 00:33:18

become part of your business

00:33:19--> 00:33:21

want to you know,

00:33:22--> 00:33:28

create a new issue a minimum and at the best of time? You know, many

00:33:29--> 00:33:50

ultimately demand it's about what you require majority is an understanding, to understand the other to understand yourself to what those issues have been raised about, you know, after marriage and divorce. What are the rights and responsibilities? What should you do but what happens when there's a divorce? Is

00:33:53--> 00:34:02

that the the wife ex wife happy vague, literally dead? Exactly. For me many supporter, you know,

00:34:06--> 00:34:32

this is a responsibility that we need to realize is, is on our shoulders in this part of what we need to fulfill. Once we have taken the pledge of measurements we have taken the pledge of America it is why we've got a break that we need to go for now. inshallah we'll come back after that continuing with this discussion. 60 minutes before 12 Stay tuned. Myself already at some international

00:34:39--> 00:34:59

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and Idris homies

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Welcome back to our master series time International, it's called 40 minutes to 12. It is by the last section of our program. And we are focusing on this aspect of responsibilities of a husband, particularly when it comes to maintenance in a marriage. And one part of it is when they are married when they are together for the husband to make sure that he foots the bill. Unless if there is an arrangement and if the wife complete agrees, and there is an understanding between them of sharing expense of the wife contributing to part of the expenses back but it is a rule that is the husband's responsibility to see to the expenses.

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What should be our prayer as

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our premium as the show, inshallah, that when you die, or once you're living, you don't get any as bad as some people cursing, you don't want that. And it just may be that your people may have a particular perception about you, that is painful the relationship with your wife, a relationship that effected on her relationship that really, really upset her, that she would make a backdrop and do something

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analogous to the device of the person that is oppressed. And

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it's about again, in the end, is the fact that

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anyone as human beings, deceptively compassionate is supposed to be fair in our dealings with

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anyone, in my opinion. And this is so critical. And you find that many people have regretted the action and then what happened in

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the past and the person you know, please forgive me that forgiveness is one thing, but importantly to rectify it. Money this can ask for forgiveness. Can a person you know what?

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I want to tell you this. This is what I want to do and no please forgive me.

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There was a situation

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that prompted me to do whatever I've done. So

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that we do that is fundamental that we do whatever it is recommendable to not for example, have any impediments between you and Jenna, why should you know why do you want to deny yourself the benefits of Ghana by being so selfish by being malicious, and sometimes even sadistic, it is very, very critical, critical that married to the institution needs to be celebrated. And, for example, if tuition goes completely out of your control, both the parties realize the separation is far better because of our circumstances when you treat each other with respect and with dignity.

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And it just means that there's a second aspect that you spoke about of

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abuse and spousal abuse that is

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it's what we've spoken about many times on our program, many other men have discussed it many of them I have

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spoken about it.

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It boils down to a person stuck, what it boils down to a person's consciousness of who is watching him at all times? And what will what will the what the outcome of his or the consequences of his actions will be. And it boils down to that realization.

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seen the point, which is people do this, or people who demand demand control, they will not command, the demand, the physical force, they show the totality, and who are these individuals

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or individuals, they're control freaks, that have no self esteem. So, when they do that, the other person to submission, in other words, the relationship with Darwin, right, as essence, I use the word unreal creation ship, where I can do whatever I want to do. When I speak immigration, there should be no disagreement with me, because I cannot. I'm the commander in chief, I'm the General, I'm the prosecutor. I'm the executioner, and I'm the jury.

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And this false notion that, you know, a patriarchal kind of narrative that goes on the home is something that has never been, you know, it's a spirit of togetherness, and knowledge is a partnership, you can say, Well, I'm happy that my wife said, you know, if you knew that your wife should affect you. And you need to discuss the next report is very critical that people need to understand and support each other. And I know some women want to go for counseling, the man will tell them why see what you can do on your own? I don't need counseling. Yes, they are situations sometimes, when you're depressed may require one to one. Now in terms of his temperament, what do we

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do to help the other person to cope with this situation?

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The situation is delighted that we can speak about it. But yet these people are supposed to change are completely oblivious. It doesn't matter. That is what we are going

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to be the other people forget about

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themselves. One thing is that you cannot respect the other. If you do not love yourself, you cannot love the other. And this is a fundamental, it's fundamental. Yes, we are challenging. Yes, there are difficulties. You find many people go through different kinds of challenges. So you must not think that you are unique, you know, I'm so unique in this, that it is my life.

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It brings us almost to the end of our program, maybe we could just round up and sign up for today inshallah.

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The one

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I knew the late Dahlia.

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It was such a wonderful example for you.

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He was a person that did not allow his own physical challenges the impact on impact you had on people. And I'm not surprised that his analogy was so great. You're such a wonderful parents, you know, D and prossima. And the brother, and I make it easy for them. We are law granting the highest status in Ghana. And this young scared us their commitment and non Muslim. He was really an ambassador for Islam, and an example to follow. And bandanas, music for the family, setting an umbrella. I was the guest in Montana returning to the opening of an all new job. I never thought my dad was accurate in that. I never thought that one day I'll be speaking at particularly because only

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john denied. Not that long. But the fact that we've got an old age home coming up is a sad indictment on all of us. All those boys and girls are not prepared to look after victories. And so therefore we need one China. Rebel class comm demanded us to show mercy towards our children and to show respect for the good

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of those individuals that we show mercy towards and, and respect to the good and I think finally, to all the people that are married, try to work out your differences. There will be differences because we are products of diverse and by have a forgiving environment at home with the love and compassion for each one can tell the story without the stories and the squelch or the fear and mana yo look up yourself. You will not be with you always as salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. And you mustn't forget to look after

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Sushil Baba Lina

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zachman I was here and she couldn't fit. I mean Shama will speak to you next week.

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He will barakato it brings us a time to five to 12 seconds you for listening for my sacred ladies time international from Geneva Sabha Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh