Tap into your potential – 10.10.2013

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Edris Khamissa

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It's 30 minutes after 11 Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

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Welcome to aanrader Islam international it is Thursday morning. My guest this morning will be our esteemed brother Idris camisa. inshallah and Aziz

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and inshallah, today we will be looking at some of the issues firstly we'll be crossing over to Brother HS cam who is attending the pious kasi murder trial and as we have just heard on the news, the

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the murderer has been convicted and he has been sentenced as well. So we are going to be getting a little bit more insight into that from the jazz clan who is attending the trial day and inshallah We will then be speaking to Brother Idris camisa as well on topical issues with regards to social happenings and the issues that it is camisa is is dealing with. I see we have brother each has on the line with us from the palm Ridge circuit court where the judge a Salam aleikum, wa rahmatullah wa Alaykum warahmatullahi over a cattle marginated and all the listeners, your flight from families. It just i see i after hearing on the news from brother Faisal patellae. Kevin, that you are just out

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of the court in the sentencing has just taken place. Can you to brief us a little bit more about how's the atmosphere, I can name the background? Quite a little bit quite a bit of noise as well. Yes, indeed, the mood is a very somber a lot of the family members, it's a very safe home and obviously, finally closure on the old incident. And, you know, because all of the law jargon, the simplest way to understand it, that viewers will be spending eight years in jail. And yes, as we walked out of the courtroom, nice to see them or whom fast as his wife, greeting all of the family members and all of the sister that had come along for support.

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It was really a material Jackie. And I know just the attorney phases as we made our way out to the court, it was here with Margarita and masa, God and I think modified was what that is, for the first day of the court proceedings, and now is the culmination and final closure on it.

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We have to feel for the family, very traumatic time, they had to endure all of this time. And now, you know, seeing the guy, a very emotional moment in the court was after the ruling margin is where we are today actually asked permission to to address the family members. And basically, he turned around and he faced the family members. And he asked him for forgiveness for what had happened that day. And we feel so weird for what has happened. And he hopes that the family can find it within their hearts to forgive him for what has happened. And really, really emotional moment in the court must have been very difficult for the family. If the judge was reading out the decision, you could

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give a lot of songs and crying in the court, obviously, from the mother whose wife and family as well. The brothers who we've become like brothers to them as well being with them so often. Yes, of course. This is hugging and greeting everyone as we speak now and thanking everyone for their support. And very, like I said, very somber mood here in the Palm Beach course. Yes, it has it must be very emotional time for the family I'm sure. But together with that a moment of closure for them. For us. It mmm for the family as well to see that justice has been met. And you know the cause of justice has taken its full stride and the light it is it has now come to a culmination. And I think

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one one of the will one of the consumer condolences for the kasi family would be that by them finding in their heart now that the murderer has sought the forgiveness and has apologized verbally to them as well. For him to find it in they have to forgive and overlook this will in itself. Be a means of them being able to overcome this whole episode. And for them to feel a relief from burden as well. Yes, and of the same as maiden is I just remember the previous was making his way out of the quarto Vecoli cells wherever that is last moment as you open the door. To go back through there. I saw him he was looking at my cousin's wife sajida and you could see there was remorse in his eyes

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and I think

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By the time you must have turned the corner must have been just

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once again, see the weak nature of humans, you know, in a moment of anger,

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lives are affected. And we can see that so many libraries can we are looking at all his brothers and his wife's family as well. And you can see how

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anger has disrupted so many lives in an innocent life was lost as well. And like you said, Now, it's a difficult time now for the family. And of course, the man whose wife to find it, if you can forgive him as he has sought forgiveness. So sitting in the jail cell, he must have been

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thinking about the day and night It must be, he cannot escape what happened that day as well. So we just need to add it to the family law gives the family strength at this time. And we want to make it easy for all of you just one one more point of retrospectively look at the days immediately after the incident took place. I don't do you remember it so clearly, but there was a call on Facebook that we must go out to magaliesburg in our numbers with our with motorcade, and we must protest. And we must, you know, take it up on a militant vibe and all of that. And, you know, that would have in retrospect is it is a lesson that we have learned that we make sure that it did not turn out that

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way. Because it could have been, in fact, a very negative thing. And instead of this thing, finding closure now, so soon, and in this amicable way, it could have become a long drawn and a much more difficult thing to go through. And for the family to deal with as well, if we, if we took an emotional stance to it, instead of allowing the civil law to take its cause. He is definitely my I can recall very clearly, the emotions are high after the incident and people are ready to, to march on to the the area of centers of you know, Mahalia and as you said, you know, sort of the soda effect with the bubblegum effect the the flavor went after a while in the community, and then it

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faded somewhat, but looking at the numbers that have come to the court today, obviously to finally Yeah, you sentence because the court was set to the brim, and lots of support and but like you say, it's, it's better that it went, you know, the teen justice way, in terms of rather, starting off

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a racial war, sort of, you know, between communities over the Internet, and they'll handle it the Muslim community and all for the you know, can hold it up I in terms of how they dealt with it, in terms of controlling emotions. And all we see now is that is for the family and complete closure is definitely the leadership of the Muslim community, together with the family could definitely be commended over this whole saga that has played out on the on the level headedness on the level of maturity. And also the the legal team as well, on the professionalism and the way we've dealt with it. Alhamdulillah

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definitely, you know, you shut up and every moment you are accountable for the

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for the prosecution, they basically did a sterling job. And as you can see, if you if you hate the court, you could see that as a Muslim, the Lawyers Association, we have amongst us the top lawyers,

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you know, amongst us and it's a it's a further boon towards, you know, the Muslim community to see how they dealt with even at the end after the judge just before the judge gave his sentence called Isha and moving forward to ask them a couple of things and the way they spoke You know, it was just really to see the the skill with which the Muslim lawyers dealt with everything and the handle not just a good thing to have good lawyers amongst the Muslim community definitely just can ship in Zealand for your time and we have to carry on with our program now. Salaam

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Alaikum Salaam for the last time for efficacy trials, this is just under 14 radio sound.

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23 minutes after 11 you're listening to our masters FM at slam international if you take our break and when we return, we will be joined by Idris Kami substituent AMC Barbican bridal Center has a winning combination of luxurious and sophisticated fabric has transformed you but our luxurious fabrics now haberdashery departments has the latest accessories visit our bridal department for the evening. Wear fab

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This is part of Rachel with slums fetch focus. The Kaaba is the Sacred House of Allah in the middle of animosity. The reason why it is called the Kaaba is that which was deposited by Ezra tea from a Buddha who says it is called recover because it is key before in the shape of a few. It is so cool because it is square, a Chroma and Mujahid said likewise, and it was said that it is called Kava because of its elevation above ground level. It is also called Bateson. Breast was part of Rachel's slums fetch focus.

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Seven minutes after 11 Welcome back to American lady Islam international and a warm welcome to our guest this morning brother Idris camisa abused by Islam alikum warahmatu Mahabharata wa Alaykum Salaam wa rahmatullah wa barakato my most beloved Mawlana share, maulana

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ermelo Aslan Polycom aleikum wa salam Rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh things all the titles if I

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didn't deserve those

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titles well they gotta pay cash.

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Okay, these are part of the freebie group.

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Everyone, how are you keeping today Alhamdulillah I'm very well. You know, we cannot thank Allah enough that we bring to the spirit of Hajj and and we have opportunities Allah has given us life to make a difference to people.

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Apologize for connecting with you a little later, we crossed over to the Fiat scuzzy trial where the murderer vs was sentenced today. And this is like the end of the trial, the closure for the family. So we have to cross over to

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one of the points that is when perhaps we could focus on that is that

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Just after the sentencing, the murderer turned around to the family, he sought permission from the magistrate, he turned around to the family. And he said that I apologize, I sincerely apologize for what I have committed, and for the great pain that I have put the family through. So this is the two it was, it's a, a noble thing to do also, and it is something that we could maybe even take lesson from. Yes, you know, you know, maulana, the often when

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you say what you have said, there are some individuals might say, Well,

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you know, you didn't lose a loved one, it's easy for you to talk, you know, what I'm saying to you. But the point, the point is, is that, you know, you know, we all do wrong in different ways, some of them are more serious than the other, and we do wrong to people hurt their feelings. And it's very critical, very important for us, to apologize, men to show remorse. Because, you know, this is what Islam expects of us, and Allah is good for him. And but we need to also look at the bigger picture, the other picture is this, because also sells at what at one time was a rare, you know, situation, no community, there are some recurring patterns. And we need to guide ourselves, we need to look at,

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you know, the way we bring up our children, teaching them how to deal with differences, how to negotiate and all of that, and but the point that you make, that you must not diminish any person, no matter what wrong he has done, when he does look at

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the victim's family that shows remorse and compunction. And that is something we need to accept, you know.

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So, Hannah, and

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as the victims also, if we are able to find it in our heart day after to forgive, then it would make it much easier for us to deal with the issue to overcome the pain, the grief, the difficulties that we are going through, and to move on with our lives as well. Absolutely, this is the thing about any kind of tragedy, you find that those that

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in the victims of the tragedy, you can understand the pain, the hurt, and the whole range of things how Shake, shake them up sick, the whole family, and the routine. And they would have, they would often say, they would often say you know what, you know what, will not get over it, but you know, time is a healer, Allah is a healer. And it's very important for us to understand that, that, you know, in life, we move on. And it's about us remembering what our purpose is, you may lose a loved one in tragic circumstances. And then the critical thing is that we got to also understand that we are also mortal beings that we must be prepared for that eventuality. The day we leave this world

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and but make dua inshallah will we live in a very peaceful way. And we live in our lives most pleased with us. And it's important for the family, people and extended family people to give them support during this time, and to give them an opportunity to speak about the hurt, but that's the beginning of the healing, if he did not speak about it, if you suppress or sublimate it, then what happens it will erode you equally affect you and liberate you for a very, very long time.

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In this way, another point of this whole

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incident, as it turned out, was the mature way in which the oma notary service or African oma the Muslims dealt with it, you know, at the time, there was a call that let us take the emotional line and let us go and protest and make a big deal about it. Some people even called that's going to war and you know, that's going to a whole violent way of doing things but the family called for the same time and the family requested people to allow the law to take its course and Alhamdulillah the system is as it has, although the sentence is lighter than what the family would have would have appreciated, but

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it could have been noted to a long drawn major issue, if we had taken the monana you know what you make such a valid point that we forget that each one of us represents, you know, we are part of Nabi sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam, and when we deal with situation like this when we are provoked

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to anger, but show calmness, we show unity, we show compassion. And what he does, that those individuals whose minds being hoodwinked or manipulated by the media would say, No, but brothers, you know what, I know, I got a Muslim neighbor. In fact, there was a situation or community, and yet the Muslim showed calmness, they were so forgiving. And this is the whole point, you know, it's very easy to have a knee jerk reaction to situations. And, and, and when we do that, what what often happens,

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that what often happens is this, that in these situations, we have a huge, huge issue in trying to, you know, convince people otherwise, you know, so I think what's critical is that we need, you know, very importantly, to, you know,

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to show mature minds and, and pick it from Dana.

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Definitely,

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it is by coming back to

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yourself and the issues that you have been dealing with. over this past week. Last week, we discussed a few interesting issues, you spoke about abuse, and you spoke about the husband not fulfilling the wife's rights and things like that. What are the some of the other issues that you've been dealing with over this week? Is it under the law? No, we cannot thank ally enough, is that, you know, I'm dealing with the situations, for example, that people are married,

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what we need to do, basically, we need to look at, you know, when you are married, right, and when there is an issue in the marriage, you got to deal with it, you know, you know, at the be at the very beginning, you got to deal with the radio, the very beginning, and then

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take it from there. Now, what happens is this,

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the critical thing is, is that, often what happens is we put it, we simply make it, we've not talked about it, and then up to this becomes a big issue. Now, you find that sometimes, you know, at the beginning of the marriage, we tend to

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do the following, we tend to accept things that ought not to be accepted, no matter how little or smaller than this really over a period of time, what happened, suddenly, you find that your spouse has become, you know, a very

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aggressive individual. And you have really unwittingly incubated a monster there. And we entered a very, very important aspect, you know, very, very critical aspect, which we need to understand. And so this is what it's all about. So in one situation, you know, I like the way you find the couple of demand for a long, long time. And then what happens, and then the children grow up, they get very, very frustrated because the tide of the problem. And they are, they don't want to be seen to be taking sides. But they acknowledge that yes, my mom is at fault, also. And my dad is also at fault. Now, this is a very important thing that I think that when people are getting married, they need to

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confront issues without being confrontational. And they are always, always going to be differences. That's part of what life is all about. We always always going to be differences, and we need to deal with those differences in a very amicable way.

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That was one, you know, yes, yes. Like, if we can talk about that, then the other

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critical thing is this, that B, you'll find that especially today, you know, one of the very, very big challenges that parents have the belief completely completely in the innocence of the children. And they trust them completely, which is good, also, but you must not have blind faith about your children, you've got to know exactly who their friends are. And why is it that sometimes they do come in late, you need to find these things out, you need to know exactly where they are. Because you cannot do remote control parenting. I mean, parents would phone and say, You know what, I'm so shocked when I learned about this when I learned about this. And you know, and my son is so nice,

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you know, he's not like this, not like that. So I think that's also another very critical dimension. And, and especially now, with the days of Hutch here that we need really, to change the culture. We need to look at, you know,

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what our values so that's the second, the third thing on the speed but very quickly, and then we can talk about each one of them. Is there two more things rather than one is what encourage people to do and let's help will help them in order.

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The situation is to be present. You know what I'm saying? That we no mana left for example, even if you and I are talking on the phone, right? Okay? And if I know you're not focusing on Simona you okay? Are you busy with your email now you don't I'm saying to you, right? Because what happens we fail to be present we fail to be there with the moment the same to look around us to fail to appreciate a lot creation and something we need to we spoke about before to be centered so it will help us also in our Salah, that's a very important thing when you speak to people, often when you are talking about something, they preoccupied about giving a response to the preparing the own

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response, they don't give you an attention, they don't respond to what you are saying. And the last point that I want to make,

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you know,

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to me, is or is also very, very critical and very, very important is that you know, in life like Montana, I mean, anyone listening to you on the radio will know that Montana Junaid loves the medium, you know, he enjoys it, he sticks with the passion. If you look at the others also that many people wander around with all of them involve the radio station, you could make out if they love the medium, it's a passion they found a niche in their life in that way. Once you find that in your life in terms of your personal growth,

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it gives you tremendous enjoyment, tremendous enjoyment and fulfillment. So I think these are the four things that you know their personal development issues and also the other two issues in

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it is we're going to take a bit of a break now and we'll come back just after that, hold the thought and inshallah we will discuss it just after this break. We need to 12 listening to our mission on radio Islam International, my guest this morning. prevot Idris camisa. Stay tuned, we'll be back

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16 minutes to 12 Welcome back to our mashreq unraid Islam international the warm welcome back to our guest this morning, brother Idris camisa. It is by Are you there with us? Yes, I am. Yeah.

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My engineer is saying that I'm sounding quite dreary and down. So he says I must lift up my spirits a little bit, become a bit more exciting and lively.

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Your spirits are lifted? I can feel it, you know?

00:31:08--> 00:31:11

Yes, I don't know what he's talking about. Maybe he's been sleeping too.

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It is by a number of issues that you brought up.

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And

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particularly, with regards to the marriage issues, that is what really concerns me. And also, the one one thing that you drew on very, very interesting is the issue of being present of being vague, of being conscious of the surroundings of what's happening. I mean, that is something that would affect every child, every adult, every person is actually being conscious. I know, I have an issue with my teenage son and other kids as well, especially when they preoccupied with a cell phone or something like that. They vvv but they not there.

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yet. Yeah. You know, you're right about that. What often happens is is that the they become very preoccupied, in fact, you know, it's a very critical thing. You know, I put a message the other day, I said that,

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multitasking will guide you to efforts, you must focus to one thing at a time, right. And I know that sometimes our sisters have to do many more things, generally speaking, whether it's about working and raising up children, that sub multitasking is playing different roles. So it's very important, very critical, that, firstly, when it comes to our children, is that when we engage with them, we must engage them completely. They must feel connected with you, they must feel loved by you, the supervisor, you know, and they some sindicato might be sitting he says, Well, I never grew up in that kind of environment when I grew up, you know, it was a different environment. Yes. The

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environment of yesteryear is different from today is different from what we agree on. Right. So I think it's very critical for us to understand that there was an extended family. But this is a point, the sort of kids do not feel connected to their parents. They don't they'll tell you, I don't think my mom and dad loved me. When I speak to them. They're always reprimanding me. They don't give me a chance to speak what's in my heart. They they're always telling me what I should do, what carrier should press you, and so on and so forth. And I think, you know, we spend little time explaining to them and asking them their opinion. I mean, your classic example a class if you're

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living with the family, it has to be Bramble Easter lamb, as his beloved son said to him about the dream. And he asked him, you know, he spoke to him with love and affection, yet the command was to own the Prophet of Allah. And the command was what to do in to sacrifice his son. Yet he asked his son, he spoke to him not that he's going to not fulfill all those commands, and look at the words Oh, my beloved son. So this is a very important lesson that we need to really look at the Quran and look at the beautiful messages and see how we can translate that into day to day reality this burqa. Imagine a father says, fulfill the Quranic injunctions and the prophetic model, when I re raise

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children. I mean, all of lovey Salas, in turn, his grandchildren all felt so connected with him emotionally, spiritually, physically, in every other way. But our kids today do not feel connected, they feel more connected

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to the gadgets you give them, they feel more connected to those things. You know, if you had to take your son's cell phone away, like you're robbing him of his life, you know, and sometimes they interact with those things. So the idea of being present is a very important thing to the question of self discipline is very critical.

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being present would first be the responsibility of

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the parents. Finally, mother v.

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have to be conscious of the children around them. And they have to be conscious of what is their surroundings or what's happening to their children. And they would have to be detached from the devices so that they can concentrate on the real people that are in front of them. So it would first come from the parents, and then it will come to the children. And the children would obviously take from the example of the parents, and then this would also have an effect on on their surroundings and everything else that they that they deal with. That's absolutely, and this is the point. You know, they say, as they always said this to the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, it's very

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important that the husband and wife show that dignity, they're called dignity to each other, and they are present at that time, it makes a huge, huge difference. Because the children also learn a lot, because what happens is this, if you look at our lives today, many of us and we mustn't say it is part of life, we lead such a frenetic lives, movie speeding from one destination to the other, and running from pillar to post as it were, without impacting on them, you know, and without really having a profound effect on all those who love and need. And it's about us reorganizing our schedule, reorganizing our daily routine, and making sure there are certain critical priorities that

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you know,

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the other points that you brought up with regards to marriage, we have about 10 minutes left, perhaps we could just go a little bit into that, so that we could create some awareness, the inshallah, we absolutely wanna This is a point, I found, I found this, that we must not a couples must not allow a situation to prevail with suddenly the anger with these victims, I mean, the witness is not something that just comes about overnight, it is a combination of negation is a combination of hurt is a combination of all of that or period of time, and that is very, very critical, right. And we need to understand that. So, what is important is that there are few basic

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principles and literally borne in mind, number one, that your husband and you always said, this is a product of his life experiences, he may not be the assertive person you want him to be, he may not be the mover and shaker you want him to be he is not the Mr. Handsome that you want him to be. He is the person who perhaps is tentative in what he does, he may be different in terms of a whole range of things. So he is a product of life experiences, his family and friends, or whatever has happened. And similarly you are there. So when you are looking at the situation, the question to ask yourself, Am I unreasonable in my expectation of my husband? Am I expecting to him to do things that he's not

00:37:58--> 00:38:25

capable of doing? Yet the same husband may not be capable of doing certain things, but in other areas, you may be great. So we choose sometimes when we meet people, we assume that this has been his perfect look at what a perfect has been, but we do not and we do not know the full picture. And similarly, I think it's important for us to understand that. So in life, we must take responsibility for what is

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you know, what, what is under our, our care? What is under our responsibility, and that may be you know, we take it from there. So that's important. The other critical thing is that the, the, the whole issue of forgiveness, I mean, this is this is a mobile time, and the month of hearts, we need to learn to forgive and it's very, very important to understand that because, you know, what, there is no

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perfect individuals, you know, we all born with frailties and shortcomings. And I think you even need to be a little more realistic in what we do. We need to look at our spouses eyes, with gratitude sometimes. And you see, my gosh, you know, you begin to appreciate the number of wonderful qualities often when I do marriage counseling, often ask the person, Surely your wife has some good qualities and mikoshi writes on many, many such good qualities, right. And the other important aspect, something that I find that when you ever go for counseling, you must go the to score points. And I know that really disturbing work done by counselors, you know, Monique, aka the Stanley

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Caroline's, the three and then you know, the an MDM in lenasia and hopeline. All of them they've been Sterling work. But if you, for example, come for counseling, with the purpose of scoring points of getting an objective voice to tell you that you are right. Your wife is not

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It's a problem. And secondly, if you're going to put some impediments there, you will say to them, no, no, I'm only prepared to really connect with my spouse, if he or she does the following. Now, you've got to ask yourself, whether it's a fair request, whether it's a request that is fair in terms of the Sharia, and these are fundamental things, if you are prepared to say fine, okay, I will remove this impediment, I will not make this the sore point in our discussion, then what you are creating that you are saying to yourself, that you are prepared to make some kind of compromises so that in the end, the institution of medisave, rather than worrying about our ego in

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VVT, it's so important to be able to

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give up your own rights or to give up what your own ego in what your own stance is, in order for the betterment of your family, for your marriage, for your whole for the lives of so many people in this way. You absolutely absolutely. Because you need to look at the bigger picture you need to look at, are you prepared to lose this and you find that, you know, many more people regret that they have not done enough to save the marriage, then those negligible few who fought for good reason when they have tried everything humanly possible and decided in you know, through shuara that the best thing for them to separate but there are many more people who will regret it. You know, when someone says

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no, I have no regrets. And you'll find that the same individuals will go on to the second and third medic and they suddenly find that they also have medical problems is a question of attitude, you know, is a question of what you value. And this is important is what you value what you regard is significant, you know,

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it is it's just gone five to 12 It's time to enter a program that allows healing for your time this morning. We appreciate it.

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And inshallah we'll speak to you next week. inshallah. Maulana Allah bless you look out and protect you, and my message is be good to your shisha. ballenas salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah

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wa Salaam Rahmatullah shukran zielen. Idris vi m, the challenge with your family come and shoot them to my studio operator this morning brothers yard and plug eaters who came on to give us the report on the kazi trial as well. She can do our listeners for your time this morning on the program and inshallah Aziz will be back with you. On Saturday morning on marriages on the air. Any feedback on the program, we must welcome to emails in [email protected] from Geneva sat on this Thursday wanting to slam on equal monumental law Hilbert Gatto