Tap into your potential – 02.05.2013

Edris Khamissa


Channel: Edris Khamissa


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contemptuously Lebanon salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakaatuh. Ellen. Omar haben Welcome to Lady Islam international is Thursday morning. My name is JD sat inshallah Aziz, I will be with you until 12. Today, my guest who will usually joins me on a Thursday, probably Idris camisa is available today. So I'll be going on the program alone, inshallah, and we will be looking at the topic on parenting inshallah. And the fact that we're going to be looking at is how to get your child to listen, this is something that I think many, many parents will be picking the ears up about how to get your child to listen, and how to make sure that your child listens to you. And

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first thing before we even get our children to obey or to do anything else, the great challenge of the appeal that we have is getting our children to listen because children are easily distracted, they easily caught up with devices or distracted in books or playing whatever else it may be, and for to get them away from me and to get them to actually listen to the advice that we give them. That is a great challenge and inshallah Aziz will be discussing that on our program today. If it is any questions or any feedback that you'd like to give you most welcome to SMS 07317384610731738461 and I put that on a Friday and discuss the issues inshallah Aziz. Is there anything that needs

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professional assistance, then we'll hold on to that until next week, when we'll be able to speak about it inshallah. And you can email me as well and [email protected] and we will be discussing your issues. Alternatively, call and join in the discussion, zero double 18541548 so that's all coming up on this morning in sha Allah how to get your child to listen, we'll be discussing tips and

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discuss discussing what how to do this inshallah. Stay tuned for my second rainy stamp International. In keeping with its proud heritage of reliability and durability, Moodle now offers you the best of small baggies for that missing np 200. The np 200 has the longest low body in its class with a payload of a whopping 800 kgs over and above that it offers us 60 or 150,000 kilometer battery warranty the longest warranty for any vehicle in South Africa motor deal presents to you the mv 200 with a free canopy for only 119,000 Rand most of you on Monday context as God Oh double 18353535 most of your fundamental Park contact Rafiq Oh 16981 triple to zero

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Assalamu alaikum. Welcome back to elementary radio Islam International. And very interesting talking to my co presenter and my engineer for today, my studio operator for Zaman and inshallah he'll be taking our calls on on 185415. I always bring a smile to our faces and humbly latches on to Mallanna. We speaking about how to make your kids listen how to get your child to listen, for kids, paid, selective hearing, that they have the appear to show to you, as a parent is a huge means of frustration. And a child who is defiant, and who who stubbornly refuses to cooperate, child who ignores simple requests can can make every day in every part of the day, it seemed like an uphill

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struggle for you as they know, I have three boys 13, thin, six, and a little girl of one and a half, almost two. And it's it's an uphill struggle when the child refuses to cooperate when a child ignores simple requests and makes it feel like an uphill struggle. We all go through it. And as parents we have this challenge that we face it is it is something that we can all identify with. And we can we can all relate to that how to get over this. This is the question, this is the challenge. And this is what we need to learn. We all need to learn in parenting. Like we learn the skills of different things cooking cleaning, like we learn the skills of how to drive, how to get your fish,

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how to handle an animal, how we learn the skills of different things that we need to do at work, different causes that we go through a cocoa for so we can become proficient in different skills in different

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lines of work. Similarly, when it comes to parenting, we need to learn we need to learn how to become good parents be able to admit that it is time for us to change our ways and implement the tips that we actually learn. And so

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looking at

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the tips of how to get your child to listen, we can be discussing some top tips in Sharma and how to listen yourself as a parents but Melinda indicates that we have a caller on the line. So we need to take that caller first Islam Allah Kumara Mottola when it comes down, I have been listening to the show for the last week I think on this subject. What I wanted to ask when you have time is usually just maybe advise us with regard to your opinion on the use of PlayStation PSP and those things is one of the biggest areas that I have with my kids at the moment. And I also want you to know whether this whole

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suppose discussion of yours will be available as a podcast, the home was three weeks old or wasn't able to access it at a later stage.

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inshallah we will discuss with regards to PlayStation PSP devices, gadgets that we have in the home and how that affects of everything, and the great challenge that we are all facing regarding these things. I think every single home or almost every home is facing this challenge, particularly if you are able to afford these things and still holding back or maybe just just able to afford these things but you are holding back and now how do you deal with that inshallah and yes, the program is available on podcast if you go on to the radio station website radio Islam

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I'm just going to see the the the website at Stanford SEO dot city and you go into the podcast section and this is the program will be under my name. You'll be able to click on the My name and you'll see it under at least some he says programs and you'll be able to pick up the podcast from the Shama he's

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looking at our program for today. We just want to discuss this and we'll deal with this question in a little while inshallah.

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And if other parents as well have any tips with regards to this issue of PlayStation PSP or other devices, how you dealing with it, what challenges you're facing, as well, we can bring it up inshallah after 1130. Firstly, coming through the topic that we are faced with Currently, we said that it kids have selective hearing, it's a huge frustration for us as parents. And when we have children who are defiant in who refuse to cooperate, children who are going to ignore simple requests that we put in front of them, it's going to make your everyday feel like a huge battle. So the first tip that we have is, before you can expect your child to listen, you need to ensure that

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you really listen to your child.

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Now, have you ever thought about that?

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You Europeans, you are running a job, maybe you have other chores that you have to complete at home, you have other commitments as well. And you've got pressure of 101 things that need to get done. And they have a deadline on you. So for you to Now, take time, out of your routine, sit down, and listen to actually concentrate and focus on what your child is saying is a challenge. But on the other hand, look at it from the child's perspective, look at it from the little child's eyes, who is half your height, looking up to you. And watching you're rushing from here to there, watching you walking from this side to that side. And the child is trying to say something. But this huge person who's

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supposed to be making a given person is looking after me is not actually listening to me what is the child actually brings in whatever it is the child actually feeling.

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So when the child is not heard, or not focused on for once or twice or a few times, then the child is going to most likely whinge shout, maybe even throw a tantrum, says to get your attention.

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And if you put this into practice of carefully listening for your child, it's going to show this little child now that you I respect the feelings, respect what they are saying. And it gives the child space to explore a problem for you, as a huge person, as a parent, you look at the child's problem, it may be trivial, it may be small, it may be nothing serious. But in actual fact, for that child in her little world, in the boys, little world, it's a big problem. And if you want to listen to the child nicely and carefully, it's going to allow the child to explore the problem. And often maybe find the only solution, all they needed was for mommy or daddy to listen carefully to them.

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And just being listened to, can cause difficult feelings to evaporate. If you as a parent, listen carefully and pay attention to what your child is saying. It was just caused chance difficult feelings of the lumps in the throat to evaporate. And

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then obviously, you can have less moaning, less tantrums, less tears. And, very importantly, to listen to your child, the child is more likely to listen to you. It's reciprocal. It's give and take, if you listen to yourself carefully, the child is more likely going to listen to you as a parent. So the main tip of getting a child to listen to you is for you. To make sure that you listen to your child. Now, that's the challenge listening to the child and how do we get to listen to the child? How do we how do you listen? I mean, right now I'm talking you are maybe working around the kitchen, maybe sitting in your car somewhere in driving, but you've seen 100 things around you

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focusing on the road focusing on the cars, focusing on the on the on the ads around you and focusing on the different cars that are passing by Road Rules and all the rest of it. You may be walking around your business and in listening to me obviously with your computer doing one thing and I'm playing around playing in the background. You also may be in your kitchen, walking around picking up something out of the fridge, putting it into the pot going from the side of the kitchen to that side. Or you may be sitting quiet, quietly, attentively and actually listening to what I'm saying. So here I am on the radio, that your child is a person in front of you and your child has

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Something to see, the age doesn't matter. And the person doesn't matter. The child is not the President of South Africa, the child is not a rich person or child is not a person of great status. But your child is a person who is valuable for you, as a parent, and so you have to listen to the challenge of listening and how to listen. How do you listen to someone? How would you like someone to listen to you? When you talk? As a mommy or a daddy? As a person? How would you like someone to listen to you? How would you like maybe in a boss, maybe a superior a person authority to listen to you? Maybe you you're your own boss, but maybe you have great respect for a certain Island, or a

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certain person. And you want that person to listen to you? How would you like that person to listen to you? That is the first question is to ask yourself, yeah, I'm gonna give you a few tips of how to listen so that your child in turn listens to you, give you a full attention, give your full attention. This was the Sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi Salaam, when anyone would talk them Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam would turn his body to face the direction of that person and listen carefully to that person. And every hobby in the madness in the gathering of Rasulullah, sallallahu alayhi wasallam would feel as if they were the most important person, and he would give full

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attention to anyone who was talking. So first thing is to give your full attention, stop what you're doing, turn your child make eye contact and listen to what they are saying.

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And then, after listening, they've made a statement acknowledge what it's really saying, don't come at anything, simply say, Okay, all right. Yes,

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I see. See words like that, and acknowledge what what your child is saying. And then you'll, you'll find that often behind what you sell is actually saying, or behind how they're actually acting is a feeling, they need to be able to identify the feeling, and give it a name be able to, you need to have this intuition. And most parents have this intuition, you take out the time you have it within you it is a natural gift, as a parent, that Allah Subhana, Allah has blessed us. So you are able to identify the feeling that your child is experiencing at that time. And so you need to be able to give it the name, for example, you see, such as well, that's, that's frustrating, or

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you are disappointed, or you are sad, you're angry, or you feel

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cheated, whatever you can, you know, explain the feeling, or maybe try and identify the feeling in front of the child. And it's crucial for us to accept the feelings and resist the temptation to make things better by actually denying those feelings like what we what we've discussed last week, as well, in anger management, that don't deny what your child is feeling. And say,

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Well, what are you upset about? Or there's no real reason to be upset or, you know, you don't say things like that you need to be able to acknowledge the feeling that your child is experiencing at that time, and say, Okay, I see I understand. And then you defuse the difficult situation by giving a child his wishes in fantasy, you know, wave a wand with words.

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don't actually do it don't give in to your child's demands directly. If it's against your rule, or kinship principle, but in words, you defuse the difficult situation, the how, How'd you do that? You say to yourself, oh, I see you would like to play longer. Okay, yes. You usually like to play longer, or if the child has to go to sleep, and he's upset that he has to go to sleep at this time. If you really liked it, if you could stay up later,

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or the child once something, and he visited often, the problem was our kids that, you know, you've got

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pink Nesquik in the cabinet, and they want the green one. Or you've got chocolate and they want the pink one. So you say to your child, Oh, if only I could magically turn this pink Nesquik into green color. Wouldn't you be happy about that, and immediately the child's difficult situation is going to be a fused and this is a good tip as something that that will solve or rather defuse.

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This situation won't solve the problem, but it's going to defuse the situation and going to reduce the tension of the time. Now,

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for you as a parent how to communicate, if you want your child to listen to the first point, we say this that you need to listen to the child carefully yourself. So if you listen, it's going to show the child that you respect them and in turn, they are going to respect you. And then you need to be able to communicate with your child. So to get your child to listen, you need to think carefully about how you talk, what words you use, what tone you use, what body language you use, and the subtle differences in words, certain differences in tone of body language, may affect may affect what really a child tunes in or turns out.

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Very, very careful about how you talk the body language you use, the tone you use, and the way you talk, the way you communicate. Besides whether your child is tuning in to what you're saying. Whether your child is blanking you out of their mind, about what you are saying this sort of discussing, inshallah, just after the tone of voice, your body language and the words that you use in China to get your child to really pay attention and listen for you. You must welcome to SMS if you have any questions 0731738461 You can also email me to [email protected] and call in if you'd like to ask anything or share some of your tips with us on zero double 1854154 adminstudio breathable and

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arafat is awaiting your call. Stay tuned to all mashreq on radio slam International.

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closes sweet boys throw it zappy surfing or just cash it you've got it stash it's distributed for all your packaging and baking requirements stasha distributions cyxtera Forsberg zero double 149 to double zero double three smilla rahmanir rahim on the authority of the son of former may Allah be pleased with him who said that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, I have been ordered to fight against people until they testify that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah and until they perform the prayers and pay visit and if they do so, they will have gained protection from me for their lives and property unless they do acts that are

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Welcome back to Al metric one radio Islam international screening six minutes before two I'll be discussing tips on how to get your child to listen. So the first thing we spoke about Is that how you must listen to your child and now we speak about how to communicate with your child. He said that subtle differences in words tone in body language may affect whether a child tunes in or out so to speak about the tone of voice, the body language that you need to use and the type of words that you use. In order to get through to your child and his appearance. Remember that these little changes in your way and your methods your attitude is going to make a difference of the type of

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parents that you actually so tone of voice. How you say something, how you say something is as important, if not more important as what you say. So

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How is more important than what you say?

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Use an upbeat and encouraging positive tone, as much as possible, use the positivity, then the tone, the way you say it enough, for example, just the greeting, just the greeting that we have with our children, the first thing in the morning, and I hope they hope that all parents are making salame with their children first thing in the morning. If you're not making synaptic children in the morning, then you've got a problem.

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So the first thing is to make Salaam with your children in the morning, use an upbeat, encouraging positive tone as much as possible. Like for example, if you say to your child, Islam alikum SSE model don't like that you see it come

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and finish. That's it. That's all the communication that you have with your child for the day or for the morning. First thing in the morning, is it's not positive at all, the child will see your dis interest in communication with them, and say, well automatically going to be interested in communicating with you. Or, for example, if you see yourself as salaam alaikum, warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. How are you today? Have you had a nice rest of hamdulillah? What a beautiful day and humbling nah? What's your plan for the water week? What are we doing today? And if you use those nice positive words with your child, then you're going to get an elicit a positive response. But we

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did simple, it's direct. It makes sense if somebody talks to you like that. And that's why I asked you the question in the setting that how would you like others, to listen to you and talk to you. And so that is how you should listen and talk to your child. Simple. So use an upbeat, encouraging positive tone. And then when you need to indicate limits. Or you need to put the rules into place and sound definite and confident. If you're going to sound uncertain. If you want to sound a bit doubtful, then more than likely the child is going to ignore you or the child is going to debate with you and the child is gonna say it's just one moment, just one more minute, I just want to do

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this as a feature. No, you don't do that. You must be definite, must be confident for the child is going to take you on a guilt trip. Oh, it's so unfair. Or you let Hamad de for so long and me not allowing me to play for so long. And you know they've been taken and killed. So don't.

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Don't be

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guilty or don't be doubtful. Don't be uncertain. Definitely. and confident in the tone of voice also, and you want to indicate disapproval of what they have done, use a firmer, lower, authoritative tone. But don't shout.

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I am unhappy with

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that wood that you have just spoken.

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Don't use it again. Like this firm. twice on from I don't know exactly. But you know, you can be negate disapproval user firmer, lower services. Don't Don't shout.

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Don't, don't, don't go and shouting and make a huge issue out of it firm, low, authoritative and avoid nagging at your child, ask once nicely once firmly and then take action once you ask nicely. Once you ask for me, then you take action. If you repeat yourself many times before taking action, then your child is going to learn to ignore your initial requests. So if you normally it is your normal approach that you asked 10 times before you actually take action, then the child is going to ignore the initial request, you know that happen is only after one 10th of time with the mom or dad is going to get excited about it. So let me take my time in taking action. And then we have the

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problem of Bobby's body language or the challenge of body language and how to correct that you need to communicate with your child from close by.

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Don't shout through from the next room. That's the first thing I need to communicate with your child to eat from close by so the child can see you and don't shout through from the next room from his mealtime coming if you go there. And you stand let make sure that style is looking at you and you talk to the child and get down to the child's height. This I found very, very much effective that you bent down to the chance height and you talk to the challenges that adults towering over the child. It can be intimidating for the child it will elicit negative response so

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Don't wave your arms get excited about the whole thing.

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Communicate from close by, talk with respect, and come down to the child's head height. And then words what type of words do you use to communicate? use clear commands.

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Three words, what you're saying and what you want them to do. Keep it brief to the point. And, for example, limit yourself to a few few important words for example, eight o'clock, bedtime. Let's see. So use less words, not long sentences in long lectures and essays, just to get simple message across and avoid accusing a child. This is a mistake that that many of us as parents to avoid accusing each other for example, you never listen, you're so lazy. If you don't hurry up and leave without you know that accusing, you need to start in a threatening, criticizing, you need to get that out of our vocabulary. And I know As parents, we often do it we get into this and whether it's the way that our

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parents brought us up, or whether it's something new that we've listened to have the equivalent but avoid accusing, criticizing and threatening, stay away from that accusing, criticizing or threatening and then avoid phrases that imply that cooperation is an option. Don't use words like if you want to No, no, no, no, you must be elected from voting.

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don't say would you like to? Or could you? Or shall we? No, this could give yourself an opportunity to say that no, I don't want to

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say that this is what needs to be done. And you have no choices in the matter. instead make requests to shorten specific time now. This is what you say directly. And those words are the most effective in sha Allah Allah as is it's just gone a few minutes before 12 we're going to take a short break now and when we come back we're going to be joined by this camisa on the line and it is by his just SMS to say that he is available right now and the sister who called in it's your good day of good fortune inshallah we'll put your question for to Idris by and he'll address it as is, but it's just 180 minutes before to have you listening to our Masonic honorary Islam International. Stay tuned

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Your favorite

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Welcome back to our metric on race time international 16 months before well it's just gone. Quarter to 12 and I'm joined now by my guest wherever it is camisa Santa Monica Monica de la while it comes along around the library, Allah is so merciful. I said if I missed out talking to you for the Nick for the last two weeks

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It'll be very painful. And I'm very lucky. Hey, I've got a few minutes now to share whatever we can with our wonderful listeners Alhamdulillah, I'm so glad that you could join us in this way.

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It is why we will be discussing how to get your child to listen. And the tips that we've shared with our listeners is that first up, you need to be able to listen to your child carefully, we spoke about how to listen. And then we gave a few tips of how to communicate tone of voice, body language, words, etc. And we had a caller who came in early on in the show, and she asked a question about how to deal with issues concerning the PlayStation, PSP, and games, etc. How do you as a parent, deal with your child? When you have these things in the house? Or in the child? Once these things in the house? Do you bring them in? How do you control it? And what guidelines will we be able to give a

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parent who wants to bring the children up, but are faced with the challenges of these devices and games?

00:36:13--> 00:36:15

First part about

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how do you speak to someone and they need to listen and they will listen to you. I think we have few critical issues that were very critical issue for me is that today, you got to understand the life role of children that they have, you know, they have access to the media and the friends 24 hours a day. So the time when you're supposed to be having a conversation and engaging with them. The other people are the conversations with them, who are winning the hearts over who are listening to them with empathy and understanding. And as a result that has a very, very negative kind of influence. Because the father, you're a primary educator is supposed to be there. I'm not saying at the beck

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and call of your children, I think it's very, very important that that they need to know very important three fundamental things that my father loves me, he cares for me, and he is a person worthy of the highest emulation. And my father is not a source of embarrassment to me, because what is happening today in many of our homes, and we all of us deal with this, and May Allah make it easy for homes, that children are often fighting with their fathers, especially because of issues of infidelity, issues of, you know, alcohol abuse and drug abuse, and so on and so forth infidelity, right. And as a result in the matter what you tell your children, you will begin to despise them. I

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mean, I've also come across some kids, you know, that have stopped reading Salah for good few months, because the angry with the Father. And I'm not saying they're justified in doing that, you know, for what is very, very important that we need to reconnect with our children, we need to love them embrace them. And also, you know, I'm not saying that the notion that you I'm not saying you must hand it to them, I'm not saying you must say no sometimes through them. And that is fundamental, because one of the worst things ever for any father or mother is to have a disobedient child. And while symmetric down to say this, I want parents to be very, very alert and very, very

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vigilant. Because more than any of the time, our our girls, our daughters, a growing number of 1213 have become sexually active. Our boys, the very same thing, addicted to pornography and a whole range of things. And I think it's important that once we engage our children which and we will listen to them, listening to them does not mean obey them. But if you listen to them with empathy and understanding, if they feel your love, you can be the conscience then you must be the reminder to them about what my purpose in life is that I'm a Muslim, I have a purpose in life as you know, I got to believe in Allah. I got to follow him as a reformed example Nabi sallallahu, wasallam. So I

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think, you know, I'm glad you're discussing this topic. Regarding the second aspect, we spoke about

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the stations and psps and all of that, you know, what, let me tell you, studies have shown that, you know, an overexposure to those things can be detrimental to both the health, maybe the physical health and mental well being of children. And as a result, what has happened, I think, sadly, one of for me, this is purely anecdotal. I found that many kids today did not have a regular conversation, the only answer in monosyllable

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And as a result of that, because one of the reasons is that the toys they have today toys that they can indulge themselves, they can play with it the whole night, they don't need to interact with another human being, and nearly a day. So you have to be forced to play with other people, more often than not in football or cricket, and a whole range of things. And that taught you teamwork, it taught you about engaging with others, understanding different personalities, and so on and so forth. Now, these games today, as the psps and whatnot, are really detrimental, and depending also, what kind of games they play. In fact, you'll find that the prestonwood voice that many of them like

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to play with, because it gives them power, being charged in control. And once you try to take it away from them, you really create a huge problem, they become very defined, and very, very rebellious. So you got to really read it off them, you got so one of the critical antidotes to all of this is we must start having an all we speak about this, a family routine, a routine in which you have time to engage each other, love each other, connect with each other, a time for them to play whatever they want to play also, within the confines of the Sharia, and making sure the time of salah and the the collective involvement in it, and so on and so forth. And I understand that many

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parents have gone through many kinds of challenges. And I think sometimes many parents, sadly, are blind, or blind to the immoral tendencies of their own children. They are you cannot have blind faith in them also.

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I think I think while while As parents, we feel that maybe we could balance or maybe we could

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control the use of PlayStation PSP in cases etc. but but the long term effects of these things far outweigh the harmful effects of these things far outweigh the benefits that we could acquire as parents and you know, parenting in itself to become a to do parenting and child is in Nevada, for a child to be good to parents and to bond with the parents is in Nevada also. And Vicar of Allah tala is in Avada, Santa everything else is in the data. And the time the display stations in time and all these gadgets take away from parenting and children bonding with parents is a takes away from our our opportunity to come closer to Allah subhanaw taala. And just just yesterday, it is right from my

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own experience took my children out to a local dam, and not for fishing, but just just for a walk the system basic work for about half an hour an hour. So it was greatly beneficial for the children. And no, my eldest son is 13 years old. And he says, I'm feeling relaxed. Now I'm feeling so much lighter now. And it was just because of this walk in here, the bows and arrows and playing around with it along the way. But this, I think is experience as much as we can we should break away from the sculpture of PlayStations and all of that, and get children to read and, you know, interact with with parents, this is a skill, I think it is by that in in a few years time, there's going to be

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very few who actually have the skill of interaction in what you're saying is so true.

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Right? Maybe the past about you knowledge creation, has such a salutary effect on us. You know, like yesterday, I decided yesterday I went across the road to a party and I ran a walk towards the seaside and very it has a calming effect, you know you feel the stress is being stripped off. And this is the the benefit of our last creation right. And also it helps the families to reconnect without all these gadgets around you. And the point that you made at the beginning and parents need to understand this the pernicious or harmful effect of these games. They are so damaging, it damages the psyche, the mental attitude and I've said this so many times. Studies have shown there have been

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PSP examples that the killing for example in Norway was prompted by the video game. The Killing is a mention of assembly sound people the killing in Columbine. It was also motivated by video game because what happens is is when kids are playing those games especially when there is this wanton destruction and violence for Chelsea I wonder in are getting so excited that I'm doing this. I wonder what it would be like to do it for real. And one psychologist said this that the reaction

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On the brain, when a child killed someone in a PlayStation or a video game, he's as if he committed the actual violence. Can you believe that? I said, and what he does, video games makes you insular and isolated. He makes you individualistic, repeats apathy, you become self absorbed. it detracts from your worship. it detracts from your relationship with people, it stunts your creativity and expands your conversation skills. And this is a reality it's not a babysitter.

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summarized by these things, we live in a fantasy world, many of our kids are living in a cyber bubble in a virtual world, rather than the real world. So as parents, you know, we need to be very, very circumspect are the toys, we

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the toys that we have, that we give our children, and we got to make sure that we go out in the field, you know, do the right things inshallah. And that is so, so important.

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It is coming back to another SMS that, that we received last week and I fought this SMS to you, perhaps it could be of benefit to others as well. Where this is the SMS to say Islamorada, my son is 11 years old in Down syndrome. Lately, he has a lot of anger and is lashing out how do we help him? He's not fully able to express his emotions. And when we try talking to him, asking what is upsetting him, not getting anything, any concrete answers, any advice would be appreciated

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for folding estimates, and a long, long chat to the sister. But anyway, just to summarize, you see, you know, I always say this, when Allah blesses parents, with kids with different disabilities, you know, I really believe allies blessed prosperity, and an umbrella, many of them show a lot of compassion, they show a lot of patience, and their reward is on Uganda. Now with down syndrome, you must understand that the chronological age is lower than the actual age, I mean, the psychological age, you know, that the chronological age, and many of them are kind of level therapy as a coping skill of age of seven. And they find it very, very difficult sometimes to communicate the feelings,

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the needs, they want. And sometimes they can get very, very angry, when they cannot reach out to other people, and people do not understand them. And remember this, you mustn't judge them as if they are 1111 year old, he will judge him as if they are a seven year old, what they all need, like every other kid is love, affection, hugging, and so on and so forth. He must feel that love. And also, you know, the age of 11 is also, you know, a case that they go through. And I think sometimes you got to ask yourself, I know for this particular example, that the the child had no issue in the school, but she had some challenges in the madressa and perhaps, you know, even madressa teachers,

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even our respected Arlene, we also need to embrace that understanding to understand kids with disabilities, how we can help them to reach their own potential. Because Can you imagine through the eyes of these children, they are living in sometimes a very dark world, a very lonely world, when they look out they're looking at other children playing

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and they do not understand why and also sometimes you can have instance with children who sometimes look at them laugh at them, and you know, and sadly This is becoming a really a pandemic, you know, community right. So I think disappointing is to understand the children to give them a love and also you know, you know, wherever they're capable of doing something, give them an opportunity to get the sibling to support them. And kids down syndrome kids when they get angry, is because we do not sometimes have coping skills. Sometimes they find very, very difficult to express themselves. And they We mustn't worry unduly for the important thing in the process. Your concern must be that they

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must not sometimes you know, through the anger harm themselves.

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It is by jack ma Sarah for these few minutes. It's been very, very educational and

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Gomorra to me tomorrow, inshallah Islamic helpline is organized the program from two to five at the Plaza extension days of

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getting a restaurant or something there and the second floor, it said

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mulus time extension and being a program for parents, how to reconnect with the children, and also the look at parental relationship. husband wife relationship

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Then I don't think there is a cost to it. So I'm becoming the more inshallah so I would like people to attend I'm sure the very very useful so you get to know some aspect that you need to do different things that you know your children shall I pray I feel in my heart of hearts you come with you inshallah you will get on very well with your Shiva valina and your children inshallah for tomorrow at two to five o'clock once again, Manisha at the La Jolla stem extension. Some kids are getting I never heard of the state but I'll be there tomorrow.

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Wait for your time. And we'll speak to you next week in Sharma Malanga

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again and I come to

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inshallah inshallah

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in a minute after 12 shuttling Zeeland to Idris camisa for joining us for this last few minutes and should come to you for your feedback and for listening. inshallah we'll be with you on Saturday morning on marriage is on the Manasa chatty Molly myself inshallah as you can zoom in to marinara Fatma studio operator for this morning Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.