DONATION APPEAL!

ALL our Projects are FREE and with no advertisements.

We serve millions of downloads a month... Now! Imagine earning on-going rewards of every lecture and quran audio and so on.

As well as helping us cover our running costs and future projects!

mufti menk image

"I really think this is one of the greatest causes one could support"

    Become a Patron
    Donate via PayPal

More Information and Options

Abuse Of Women And Children

share this pageShare Page
Ebrahim Bham

Channel: Ebrahim Bham

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:00--> 00:00:01

hamdulillah

00:00:02--> 00:00:03

Al Hamdulillah

00:00:07--> 00:00:10

well, genital mohideen

00:00:13--> 00:00:15

for Salatu was Salam was

00:00:16--> 00:00:17

even more sorry.

00:00:19--> 00:00:22

He was heavy was Alberta Sleeman

00:00:23--> 00:00:36

kathira a mavado Villa homina shatori Raji Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem washio, Neville Maru, Sarah La Villa Zeum,

00:00:37--> 00:00:39

maybe respect respected elders and brothers.

00:00:40--> 00:00:44

We are well aware that in our country in the last

00:00:45--> 00:00:49

few months, there has been a spate

00:00:50--> 00:01:22

of incidents with regard to woman and child abuse. While there are certain incidents that have captured the imagination of the media, and have been widely reported, in particular, the incident of a 17 year old girl in the Western Cape, and recently, the brutal killing and murder of two year old children in Diepsloot.

00:01:23--> 00:01:38

It is something that has been spoken about at length by analysts and in the media. And today, I thought that we will use this goodbye today to discuss the scourge of women in child abuse.

00:01:39--> 00:01:58

As we go along, let me also speak about certain stats that has been widely reported in the media. And part of that stats is that 51.3% of women have related in the statistics in the statistics of

00:01:59--> 00:02:03

coming across for suffering some form of physical abuse.

00:02:04--> 00:02:12

28.3% of men who have been analyzed, have committed and have

00:02:15--> 00:02:16

admitted to committing rape.

00:02:18--> 00:02:27

One of the very amazing stats was that 1.3 woman 1.1 third of the woman in South Africa, under the age of 18.

00:02:28--> 00:02:38

They relate and say that they have suffered some form of sexual violence before the age of 18. That is one third of the woman in South Africa.

00:02:40--> 00:03:24

And what a very amazing stats that in South Africa, according to the health ministry, 1.7 1.7 5 million people annually, I admitted to hospital because of being the victim of some form of violence, majority of the time by the domestic partners. 1.7 5 million people in South Africa annually are hospitalized because of some form of violence. And many times that violence is because of domestic partners. Now, I know that many times you and I, in our community, we would say and look at those statistics and say that proportionately.

00:03:25--> 00:04:10

It does not reach to that extent in our community and society. Although people who are in the know, people who deal with these social issues will tell you a very different story will tell you about the growing phenomena of this type of abuse, even in our own community, even if we might agree that it might not reach that type of statistics or the frightening or alarming stats, which I have outlined. When we talk about this, it is something that is widespread in the broader community and more specifically, even within our own community. I know when we talk about abuse, we normally talk about abuse from the husband to the wife

00:04:11--> 00:04:57

or from the Father to the children. Not it doesn't in any way mean that the abuse viceversa does not happen. Obviously, it happens and it is on the increase. And it is something that even if it does happen, by and large people would not admit to it. And I'm sure the men will not admit to it, for obvious reasons, they will not admit to it, but it is something that inshallah if ever we have opportunity we will discuss it here we are discussing, to a by and large, at least the immediate congregation is a congregation of males and we need to be discussing this. When we talk about abuse. One aspect that does come to the mind of people is but isn't it so that Allah subhanho wa Taala has

00:04:57--> 00:04:59

made the husband the father

00:05:00--> 00:05:04

The head of the household, and there is no doubt with regard to it. And in the Holy Quran it said

00:05:06--> 00:05:40

Mona Lisa, Allah has made the men in authority, and Allah has placed him responsible for the woman for and for the household. He is the head of the household. But one important factor that we tend to forget is what is the definition of authority in Islam? How do we define authority? Normally, when you talk about authority, it is defined as if I am the boss, you do what I see. Or sometimes it is put in this way, my way or the highway.

00:05:41--> 00:05:45

But in Islam, Libya, Kareem saw Silla made so beautifully put it say you're

00:05:47--> 00:06:33

the leader of the nation is a servant of the nation. Now, I'm not in any way suggesting that the husband's must become, you know, literally and figuratively, in every way, they're the seventh of the household. But what he does say is that is a very different definition of authority in Islam, the way it is commonly understood, and that particular aspect of authority demands that the husband takes responsibility for every aspect of his household, take responsibility with regard to the financial, emotional, spiritual, and all other needs of the household. That is what is meant in terms of authority. That is what is meant with regard to the husband, being an authority of the

00:06:33--> 00:07:23

house, in the house, over the woman over the children over the entire house, someone has very beautifully put it, that authority means to be strong, without being rude, to be kind, without being weak, to be bold in the house without being a bully, to be humble, without being timid, to have conviction without being arrogant, and to have humility without being a fool. A very, very hard task in anyone who thought that the role of the husband is something that is more, you know, prestigious, let him think very, very seriously with regard to the responsibility. Allah subhanho wa Taala has placed upon his noble and broad shoulders. And part of it authority is also it's also and it is very

00:07:23--> 00:08:04

important, it is also for him to be able to tolerate and for him to be able to live with the weakness of his spouse. Now we are all aware with regard to the aspect of the Hadith at nebia Kareem salsa, had said that the woman and has been created from the Arabic then also the most uppermost portion of the end, when people normally use it, if they try to give the impression, especially sometimes to the wives that Listen, you are crooked, crooked. Now that is not the purpose of it. Really, that is not the purpose of the Hadith. Because when you look at the text of the Hadith

00:08:06--> 00:08:54

that Allah has created the woman from the the most, and the uppermost portion, which is the most crooked, and what maybe Kareem cirsium made mention, therefore, love with her, in accordance with her temperament, look with her with that type of weakness, which is bound to be in each and every human being. That is what is meant to be. And that is why many aquariums oscillometric makes seven and that is why maybe a cream sauce, Liam said that if you try and straighten the roof, if you try and straighten the road, you are going to break the rub. That means if you try to expect perfection with regard to your wife, you might end off breaking off the marriage. So learn to live the way you

00:08:54--> 00:09:37

will learn to live with your rep despite his crookedness, live with your wife with her shortcomings, that is the aspect of what this adif conveys. And maybe in that particular, the rep in crooked in that lies the beauty of the room. Because of the rep in cricket, it is able to accommodate the lungs, it is able to accommodate the vital organs within the body. And therefore it serves as a means of protection for the vital organs. a medical doctor might be able to tell you better than what I'm saying. But that is actually what happens because of his crew quickness is able to accommodate the vital organs and to provide the necessary type of protection with these vital

00:09:37--> 00:10:00

organs. Maybe taking it further. It is maybe because of the temperament of the wife that they are staying with us. If they had that particular type of wisdom, they might not be able to stay with us. And it is indeed that lies. They beauty and in that that lies what Allah subhanho wa Taala is greeted them with. Now that is the essence

00:10:00--> 00:10:43

With regard to the authority of the husband or the wife and part of it, as I said, is to be able to live with the shortcomings washer owner will be kind towards your human folk for inquiry, perhaps if you dislike something, and there's a similar type of theme, which isn't a defense, a Muslim, when we are cream sauce limited, it is not permissible. It is not correct for a husband and for men to hate a believing woman who is his wife. Perhaps if you dislike something of her character, there might be many other aspects that you like within her. Don't look at her negative, accentuate the positive overlook the shortcomings. This is something that we are supposed to today, we sometimes make no

00:10:43--> 00:11:20

jokes with regard to these type of things. A woman one day wrote to me while I was giving a program, you know, I was speaking on the finding Mr. Right? That was a title that was given to me to speak to a group of women about how to look for husbands someone right and said, I found my Mr. Right. I didn't know his first name is always I didn't know his first name is always and then sometimes we think we say we talk like this. We say a woman is cute when she is mute. And her husband is a honey when he's giving money, all of the type of things we know but at the end of the day might be restricted by this. One thing you must keep in mind the authority of the husband does not in any way

00:11:20--> 00:11:38

translate for him to feel that he has got the right to abuse the woman and not Allah will question him with regard to it. Now via cream sauce. I'm setting the football for the Philippine Lisa Fiala with regard to the woman for who I enjoy nikka Firth, and fine tune the piano via Manila,

00:11:39--> 00:12:04

una de Cali Mattila, they have been given to you with a column of Allah, they have been made halaal to you with a word of Allah subhanho wa Taala when they have been made lol to you with the word of Allah, then it is your duty to take into consideration when you deal with them. And part of this does not in any way, the supreme authority of the husband does not in any way does not in any way that we say

00:12:05--> 00:12:48

ever translate into abuse of the woman or abuse of the wife. This is something that is never occurring. Jocelyn was told in his time about certain people who are beating up their wives. And maybe Akari himself said, these are not the better people in our community. Let me repeat that. Whenever Kareem salsa was told about certain people beating up their wives, maybe a cream sauce and said, these are not the better class of people in our community. And that is how we should treat people who beat up their wives. They are not not the better people in our community. Now via Kareem salsa, what said and he made mention with regard to this, and he said that and it spoke

00:12:48--> 00:13:27

disparagingly about those husbands. He spoke disparagingly about those husbands who beat up a wives during the day and then want to be intimate with them during the night. Look at that particular type of contradiction. You beat them up during the day and then you want to fulfill your desires with them in night. What I'm talking about the abuse that is commonly understood is not something that Islam has sanctioned. And those we always normally make mention, we always make mention that we must follow the tsunami occurring saucer and this is something that we commonly make mentioned follow the tsunami occur himself some brothers the son of our beloved Nivea cream sauce in him was this that

00:13:27--> 00:14:09

maybe a cream sauce lamb never ever lifted his hands on any child on any woman. Forget the technicalities when you say maybe a cream sauce alum Nivea cream sauce. We will read in the paper today that these are hard enough maybe a cream sauce that maybe a cream sauce lamb never, ever lifted his hands towards his woman towards his wives and towards the children. And when we look at the remarkable aspect of that, maybe a creamy sauce on his life with his with his wives, sometimes it is quite amazing. I am sometimes amazed. We are amazed when we look at the great personality of Nivea cream sauce, the one whom Allah subhanho wa Taala took to meet him at a time of marriage the

00:14:09--> 00:14:45

one that Allah subhanho wa Taala did not take his name because of various reasons and when may be occurring sauceless always address maybe academic sources Yeah, you are maybe you are a school Yeah, you will Muslim may not directly with his name, and then click personality. How did he bring himself down to the personality and to the, to the aspect of his wives and different wives that he had with different temperaments in every one every aspect with regard to those people and those woman Muslim dealt with them according to their temperament. It is quite amazing. quite amazing. as I share with you a lot when I was young and keen and enthusiastic.

00:14:46--> 00:14:59

I dealt with accordingly. Michelle Maria Latina when she got married, she said yeah Rasulullah I am very jealous. I am very possessive. Let me say Aslam dealt with accordingly, as it saphira Viola Donna came from a Jewish background and because of

00:15:00--> 00:15:08

That she was insecure. Maybe a cat himself made her feel secure in a different background from which she came and she came into this particular bedroom as an upset.

00:15:09--> 00:15:14

We know from that he was prone towards anger that we dealt with accordingly.

00:15:15--> 00:15:40

Islam dealt with each and wife each and every one of his wives, according to the temperament, we we might have all those types of situations, different temperaments within our wives. I'm not saying that it's going to be multiple by and large it isn't. But isn't that particular aspect they might be one of those temperaments deal with them how nebia himself dealt with his wives with a different temperaments. Sometimes you look at the way nebia trim system dealt with his wives, you find Mr. Murphy,

00:15:41--> 00:16:23

not afraid and look at the communication, being able to give nebbia cream sauce, valuable advice, may we be sacrifice upon our Mother, how many times she gave such valuable advice. We know that one incident of what a PA which is normally many times make mention of let me give you another example. Once two cousins of nebbia cream sauce from close to the time of the conquest of Makkah, were coming to Medina to ask for repentance to ask for forgiveness of nebia cream sauce from the very same two cousins one was a son of Horace, the uncle of maybe a cream sauce no one was the son of maybe a cream sauce for him poopy but then they were amongst those who had abused maybe a cream sauce at the

00:16:23--> 00:17:03

beginning of nebbia cream sauce was Prophethood one of them even told me of Allah despite being his cousin. Even if I have to see you with a letter towards Allah tala towards God, bring him on upon you. Then let me occur himself when came to know that they were coming to accept Islam, and they were coming to ask for forgiveness because of the hurt. Jocelyn was a human being after what they had told me the beginning, the spy feed the family of Nivea cream sauce, mm, maybe a cream sauce from said, I will not meet them. I will not meet them. And who Mr. Murray said, You're a pseudo. They are your cousins. They're your family, your Rasulullah if you are going to forsake them, where

00:17:03--> 00:17:43

will they go? Yes. Do not forsake them to not reject them. Sometimes you get amazed if it was a woman, and it was a wife and she could have said yes what they did is you must not meet them. By law to the woman that lie that is true. You must not meet with them to did what they did you get what they said. We will be sacrificed upon the wisdom of a Mr. Ma she said no, you're a Sula. They're your cousin's maybe a cream sauce. I met them, maybe a creamy sauce. Except the repentance. They accepted Islam at the hands of Nivea cream sauce. Do you look at the type of communication between husband and wife? Do we have the type of communication within us in our homes, to be able to the

00:17:43--> 00:18:22

wife must be able to give her opinion in such a way even if it contradicts sometimes the view and the opinion of the husband. This is what we should strive towards my dear respected brothers. And nevertheless, you know, part of his authority is sometimes you can get angry, but you have no right to be cruel when you are angry. Let me say this, we have no right to be cruel when you are angry. Sometimes a person can become we are overtaken by human emotions. But that anger should be within the limit which Allah subhanho wa Taala has stipulated together with us there is also the aspect of abuse of children by their respective brothers. And this is something that is quite amazing children

00:18:22--> 00:18:33

who are the flowers of Allah, Who are the embodiment of joy, that particular children, which are the joy of the hearts of people today to see to your own children been mutilated.

00:18:34--> 00:18:46

And that is I don't care for which paid domination people come. I don't care whether those people who have been killed might be from a different background from which you Anya it is a hard hearted person.

00:18:47--> 00:19:26

It is a hard hearted person who cannot be emotionally affected by the fact that a two year old child has been brutally mutilated, killed. Where is our emotions? Where is our hearts? Where's our compassion? Where is our kindness, that we see that a two year old child has been killed within our own particular region? It we read it as a piece of newspaper article as a media thing that has been highlighted, but it doesn't impact upon our hearts. Where is our compassion? Where's our kindness? Where is it versus Do you know the enemy of Allah subhanho wa Taala what was his kindness and compassion completely against that? A completely against it. When the worker himself while he was

00:19:26--> 00:19:59

still so a woman from amongst the prisoners, that she was looking for a child and she was running to and fro looking for a child. And then when she bought the child, she has the child went into one corner to breastfeed the child. Jocelyn looked at the scenario and he cried and he told the Sahaba and he made sure to Almighty Allah, Allah you enemies Aslam gives us example, and he said the incident is a very long one. But let me a cream sauce lamb showed emotion to that woman and they'll be a cream sauce tomato tomahto lions

00:20:00--> 00:20:11

Lola, this woman will not throw the child into the fire. You get her aspect of love. Yeah. Oh Allah, I asked you to throw my motto into the fire because your mercy is even more than the mercy of the woman.

00:20:12--> 00:20:14

Jocelyn one day was kissing her.

00:20:15--> 00:20:23

And at that particular time, one crab in Hobbes came and said, We don't do such a thing. We don't kiss and hug our children and

00:20:24--> 00:20:38

said, What can I do and Allah is taken out of your heart, unless the kindness and compassion out of your heart, he does not show mercy to others, Allah will not show mercy unto him. This is how maybe a creamy sauce to them how many times let me source them used to be on the member when I

00:20:40--> 00:21:17

used to come into the masjid, and they'd be a cream sauce. Despite his great status, the name of Allah would climb down from the member to be able to welcome his grandchildren out of the member come then bring in them. And then we source themselves these these children are the cause of a person become miserly. These children are the cause of a person becoming, you know, miserly and becoming a coward. This is the love that Minnesota made for children. And for us to see in our communities, even if it is beyond our community in our country, to be able to see children at the age of two and three, being brutally mutilated and killed, is something that must spark an emotion

00:21:17--> 00:21:56

of kindness and compassion in each and every person's heart. And you must make dua with regard with respect to this. This is something that we need to be doing. And I don't we can go on with regard to it. We don't have the time time has elapsed, I would have loved to be perhaps speak about the reasons for abuse. Why are people abused? Why do people abuse sometimes the aspect of power time to show power, show control over your wife and your children sometimes is an aspect of even with regard to rape, many times sociologists have said is a matter of control, even within our own families. When we show these tendencies of abuse, it is a matter of being trying to show control and power.

00:21:56--> 00:22:42

Normally, I tell people, that if you want to show and if you want to show authority, and if you want to show control, then combined commanded by your conduct, do not demand it by your cruelty. Let me repeat that if you want to have control over your family, then commanded by your conduct, do not demand it by your cruelty and abuse. The fact of the matter is as we go in time has elapsed, as I say, My dear respectable as we as a Muslim community, given that nebia Karim Salam has given us such great advice given the aspect that Allah subhanho wa Taala has spoken to us last year on the bill maher of insuman me side is a hadith that Allah Allah wa sallam he said, I implore you to treat the

00:22:42--> 00:23:08

vulnerable people of your community Well, the woman in the children, I implore you to treat the people who are vulnerable when you look at our team, you will always find the ones who are vulnerable. And that Allah has given special emphasis to property rights, don't have the time to go into a between employer and employee, you will find more happy, which speaks about the rights of the employee than the rights of the employer because he is vulnerable.

00:23:09--> 00:23:50

When maybe a cream sauce from said about the non Muslim subjects from Islamic State, let me sit alone Islam knew that he could be vulnerable, maybe saw some said whoever he treats as in me, a non Muslim citizen of a Muslim state, I will argue and plead on behalf of the non Muslim citizen against him on the day of gamma. Why because he's vulnerable. Islam has always taken the part of those people who are vulnerable, whether it be woman, whether it be children, whether it be employee, whether it be the week, whether it be the poor, whether it be the non Muslim citizen of an Islamic State, this is something that we need to be carrying out and be firm with regard to it, we must say

00:23:51--> 00:24:31

no to any type of abuse. And if we are know about abuse that is carrying on abuse that is carrying on with regard to something that we have come to know about it, then we need to be taking the appropriate actions with regard to it. We cannot be innocent bystanders. We can not be innocent bystanders or freak bystanders with regard to abuse that take place within our community. If we set the example in our own community, maybe we would be able to speak with a greater moral authority and voice with regard to what is happening in our country. In conclusion, we make dua that Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the understanding of dealing his proper perspective and his correct

00:24:31--> 00:24:55

methodology, we make dua to Allah subhanho wa Taala those people who are vulnerable in our communities and societies and protect them in sha Allah, may Allah subhanho wa Taala make the means of protection for him. Whatever the means of protection, whether it be the law enforcement agencies must be more other whatever it is, we Allah subhanho wa Taala protect them from the type of abuse that we are seeing. What we are reading about was Russia and Hungary.