Friday Night Etiquettes Class – February 19, 2021
Date:
Channel: Daood Butt
File Size: 60.55MB
AI Generated Summary ©
The speakers emphasize the importance of dressing up during wedding invitations and bringing in guests who may not be familiar with the date. They stress the need for fasting, welcoming guests to homes, and proper sheltering. The success of Uber Eats and the challenges of working from home during the pandemic highlight the need for healthy eating and personal health. They also stress the importance of avoiding regard and acknowledging healthy behavior.AI Generated Transcript ©
Hit off on a solar two atom with a slim rubbish Rackley suddenly we're Siddeley Emily there 10 Mindy Sani of Coco Lee, my brothers and my sisters, I said Mr. alikum warahmatu why he robotic cattle.
So it is Friday, February 19 2021. And we are
done seeing that heavy snowfall for the last few days. It's cold outside, no doubt, it's Canada on the law.
And today was the first day of Juma back at the mustard. hamdulillah. So, you know, a lot of a lot of good things happening, a lot of
blessings from Allah subhanho wa Taala. And no doubt, a lot of very happy people. And it was just really, you know, nice to see so many people
willing to put up with a cold and standing outside in line, you know, to come in and take the time that it takes for registration and so on. You know, everyone is just very cooperative. hamdulillah from, from what I heard, you know, everything went very smoothly. Of course, it is time consuming. But it still went very smoothly hamdulillah
we are going to continue
our topic in sha Allah, we were discussing the etiquettes of hospitality, right, being hospitable and looking after our guests, and how we're supposed to do that within Islam, right. We looked at a few things already, especially to do with a wedding. And I don't want to talk about weddings anymore, because you know, you know how I feel about weddings, right? I got married a long, long time ago, the end.
So
there's that, but then we need to continue along learning about taking care of our guests when our guests do come over. So the next thing that we're going to look at for today in sha Allah data with regards to etiquettes, morals, values, things that we need to have within our lives as Muslims.
And I know some of you are saying weddings are fun. Yeah, they are fun. If you're having fun. But some kind of law a lot of the time I feel that you know what the biggest thing that bothers me about weddings is people invite you for 6pm they don't show up until like 9pm. And then you have kids who need to go to sleep. And then they're super cranky and groggy and running around. And even if you don't have the kids like sitting there from six o'clock when the invitation is made for and no one actually shows up. The bride and groom are not there. Sometimes even the family members are not there. No one's there. I even showed up at wedding sometimes. And I remember one wedding A few years
ago, it was the most awkward thing ever because I thought I was in the wrong place. And I started to contact the brother of the bride. And I was like, Listen, man, I know you invited me to your sister's wedding. But I'm here and I think I'm in the wrong place. He's like, What do you mean? So I sent him the location. He's like, Ha, you're there. But you're super early man. I'm like, but the invitation was for this time. He's like, Yeah, but who comes to a wedding on time? I'm like, why invite me for that time. I literally got to the venue. There were no cars in the parking lot. There were only like two cars parked to the side. I went inside, I left my family in the car. Because I
was I was like convinced that I had made a mistake. I went inside and I see like people setting up tables, this staff that works that at the hall was like setting up tables and stuff. And
I go over to one of them. I'm like, sorry, is there supposed to be a wedding here? Which is kind of like the dumbest question because it is a reception hall. And that's really what they do all day and night, right? And they're like, yeah, there is I go, do you know the name of the bride and groom and they told it to me I'm like, Okay, I think I'm in the wrong place. And they were actually telling me the name of the person who booked the hole.
And I had no idea who that was, which is why I called the brother and so I felt really really strange and that's one of the reasons why I don't like weddings like don't invite me super the next time people invite us for weddings, just let us know what time the bride and groom are coming for. So we can be there just 10 minutes early inshallah. Alright, enough for weddings. Like I said, we carry on today, the we're gonna try and finish this chapter shortly. Okay, just pushed through, you know, trying to cover everything and see how it could make it as concise as possible while still not missing out on anything. So we're gonna look at fasting.
Okay, what if you are fasting and you're invited to someone's home or you're invited by someone to come over to eat at their place or for a celebration, and usually as Muslims, when there is some sort of celebration or invitation, there's always going to be food, right? So we're not going to be inviting someone over and not providing some sort of food or refreshments to them. So
fasting
does not negate your invitation as in it, it's not a reason for you to decline an invitation that has been given to you. And now people are like, yeah, that's obvious. Men were fasting. Yeah, we're still gonna come and eat, right?
But let's look at it. So if someone invites another person who is fasting
some of the scholars still see that it is legit for that person to accept the invitation. In fact, it is it is still legit to accept the invitation like we've learned.
But if the person is fasting, then what is wajib upon them what's what is an obligation upon the fasting person who is invited is that they make dua for the host they make do offer the hosts, the ones that invited them to come over to eat the food or to celebrate some sort of celebration with them whatever the invitation was for okay.
So unkindness on mobile fuddled on a masculine regardless of whether that person is fasting, a fasting that is nothing, as in a supererogatory, fast, a extra fast, write fast that is not compulsory, or if they're making up a compulsory fast, obviously, if it's the month of Ramadan, you know, we're not going to be breaking our faster today, but what if someone is inviting you, three months after Ramadan and you are fasting to make up a day of fasting that you missed? So regardless of whether you are fasting, to make up a compulsory fast or you're fasting an extra sun or nephele, fast, you have to accept that invitation.
And so now we will look at whether you need to break your fast or not. Okay, so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, either do or he had to come, if one of you is invited, right, receives an invitation.
Then fell Egypt. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, if one of you receives an invitation, then accept it as an answer that invitation to encounter Simon failure seal. And if you are fasting, then
and I'll explain this, he says then continue, right. If I could just say that use that word for now. What in Canada mostly it on failure plan. And if you are not fasting, you are eating, then eat? Okay?
The explanation of this word foliose. Right, basically means to continue on with the invitation. But make dua for the person who invited you
for encounter Simon foliose Eonni a dua. Okay. So, some of the scholars say the Mufasa one, or the scholars of Hadith who explained this, say that what this means is that for the person who is fasting, they should accept the invitation and go and make dua for the person or the people who invited them, okay.
And that is to be done if you're fasting. And of course, even if you're not fasting, it's from the etiquettes to make do as we'll see later.
We also see in the Hadeeth, of obesity, that study of the laquan, who said he prepared some food, or some food was prepared for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and when it was served to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
One of the people said, I am fasting, right, I am fasting. And so obviously they were gathering together to eat and someone you know, said I'm fasting. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said
Dhaka hookah or tequila Falak, your brother invited you and had worked to prepare this for you. Right? So someone invited you and they also had put in some time and energy and resources, you know, money etc. In preparing this, you know, food for you.
And he continues on a long ride of usnm to say
eat
and fast while some McKenna who in * and fast a day in place of this day if you wish. Now of course this is for someone who is fasting, a nephew or Sunnah fast, right? Not someone who is making up a fuddled, compulsory fast or someone who's fasting a compulsory fast. So the Prophet sallallahu Adeney was someone once again to recap, is serve some food and from amongst the people, one of them
says I am fasting the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam responds and says your brother invited you and worked hard to prepare this food for you.
So eat the food and make up your day of fasting later on, if you wish. Okay?
So, if someone is fasting and the fast is a fuddled fast, then the scholar say that it is not permissible for that person to break their fast to eat, okay? But if they're fasting, a nephew or Sunnah fast, then it is permissible for that person to eat.
And to either make up that day of fasting or not to make it up, okay? If we are fasting enough or Sunnah fast and we break that fast, it is not a sin. There is no sin upon the person, okay? Because it's a Sunnah, right? It's something that you're doing extra. If you fulfill it, you get the rewards for it. If you don't fulfill it, you are not sinned. Okay? You are not sinned for not doing that.
Okay, the next point that we'll take in sha Allah is a column of bife wajib. Okay, so it is compulsory or Wajid. In fact, before we move on, I see a question here, so I'm just going to answer it but ideally, let's try and keep the questions for the end. What about if it's a fast to make up for a fast Mr. Ramadan? Okay, exactly. You know, what we were talking about. If someone is making up a fast from the facets of Ramadan, right, that's considered a compulsory fast, then you do not break that fast. Okay. So it's still that is still a compulsory fast that you're making up you have to fulfill it, okay. You do not break the fasts that you're making up from Ramadan, Ramadan, fasts are
compulsory. So if you start a day of fasting, you have to finish it except in the case that you have an absolute
need to break that fast like you have valid Islamic reason to break that fast like, you know, getting sick, someone falls sick.
They can break their fast okay.
We move on economic life wedges. So it is compulsory to do a cut on towards a guest that comes to our home hospitality, right is important. Now, we're not looking at just feeding a meal, we're actually looking at welcoming someone into our home and showing them some hospitality. Okay.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
mentions in this Hadeeth of awkward in the middle of the alohar and corner era sort of law. They said, O Messenger of Allah, you send us out and it happens to be that, sorry, it happens sometimes, that we have to stay with people who do not entertain us.
What do you think about it? So sometimes the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam sends them out, right sends out a delegation from from Medina, for example, to another city, and or another town or they're traveling and they have to stop and stay somewhere. So he says to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam or they say the people they say, You send us to out. And it happens that we have to stay with people who do not entertain us. What do you think about it? So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam replies and says, If you stay with some people, and they entertain you as they should,
for a guest, so they entertain you, as they should entertain you as they would a guest, except their hospitality, but if they don't, then take the right of the guest from them,
take the right of the guest from them. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, if you're going to go, you're traveling or you're in a place, you need to stop. And some people are welcoming you into their home, they're allowing you to stay there, they're allowing you to spend the night you know, accept their invitation, and go and stay with them. Why? Because first of all, the people who are inviting you into their home, they know that there is a there's reward for them, right. And it's an important reward that they're looking for. Right to serve people who are traveling for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Or to serve people who are their Muslim brothers and sisters to look
after them. They're in a state of need, right? They're in a condition where there's a necessity upon them, right? They need a place to stay, they need some food, they need some warmth, they need some shelter, they need some fluids to drink, they, you know, might need to do laundry, etc, etc.
So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, accept their their invitation to stay with them or their hospitality. But if they don't show any hospitality, then
take the right of
To guests from them, as in you have a right
as someone who is a guest of another in their home or in their place, their town, their village, you have a right to certain things. What do we have a right to? Well, we look at another Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam where he says, The period of entertainment of a guest, okay, so the time that a host would entertain a guest is three days. And he continues on Allahu Allahu wa sallam to say,
and utmost kindness. So, sorry, let me let me put it all together, the period of entertainment of a guest is three days, and utmost kindness. And courtesy is for a day and a night. So the time that the host has to look after, as in, it's the right of the guest, to look to be looked after is three days, but for the first day, utmost kindness, and courtesy is to be given to the guests for that first day and first night, as in what's mentioned in another Hadeeth is your to feed them from like the best of foods that you can provide. Right? So you're giving them high class hospitality for the very first day, then the second and third day doesn't have to be at the same level. Rather, it can
be at the level of, you know, food and and, and basically the way your house operates, right, so if you're going to eat, you know, cereal in the morning, you can provide them with cereal, right? If you're going to eat, you know, an egg omelet, you make an egg omelet for them, right? Stuff like that. So the first day, you're going to be treating them exceptionally well. And then the second and third day you're giving them basically what you would give to yourself. Okay? So the period of entertaining a guest is three days and utmost kindness and courtesy is for one day and night. It is not permissible for a Muslim to stay with his brother until he makes him sinful.
It is not permissible for a Muslim to stay with his brother until he makes him sinful. So they asked the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, or messenger of Allah? How would he make him sinful? How is it that a person makes another person sinful?
So he said something Allahu alayhi wa sallam, he stays with him so long, that nothing is left with him to entertain him.
He stays with his host, the guest stays with the host for so long, that there's nothing left for that host to give to the guests. As in now that person might go and start borrowing money or might need to try and you know, find some way to look after their guests. Basically, that person has now become a burden or an annoyance upon the
the host. Okay, so that's something really interesting to keep in mind. I know when I was a student in Medina, my friend Faisal and I, we traveled around Saudi Arabia. So we're always in Medina. And we thought to ourselves, you know what, let's get to know the rest of the
the rest of the country right because we lived in the hijas region, which is mucca, Medina, Jeddah, right, hey jazz.
And we wanted to get to know the other Saudis like the different cultures within the country. And so, we traveled, we went to Jeddah, we spent some time we did Ramadan believe and then we went to Jeddah, then from there, we went to
Riyadh right, we went to Riyadh.
And then from Riyadh, we went to no sorry, we flew from Jeddah to demand right, we flew from Jeddah to demand. And then from demand, we went to Hobart, you know, we went to that whole region. That was the one and only time I got to meet chefs and comedy. I specifically went on that, you know, to that one city to meet chefs and comedy. Then we went to Hobart, we went we took the train to Riyadh. And then from a gala we flew down to Abuja, and then from Abuja, we took a taxi down through to GS n, which is bordering you know, the southern part of Saudi Arabia and some handler we saw the different cultures very different, very, very diverse within the country. Like one thing that you would see
within one province is like, completely different than another.
But one cool, you know, incident that took place when we arrived in Abuja, in fact, the entire trip we retreated really well from all this
Saudis that we met throughout our trip, they treated us really, really well. And we were not going with the intention of meeting any of these people. We happen to meet them along the way.
So when we were flying to demand the person we were, you know, my friend and I were sitting talking were like, okay, when we arrive in demand, what are we going to do? Like, we didn't have a game plan we just went to explore. We were basically like backpacking, and so we're sitting in that plane talking about what we're going to do when we arrive in demand. And the brother that was sitting in the seat right in front of us, he turned around and he said, you know, Sam, he introduced himself to us. And he asked, he says, What are you guys doing in denim? We said, to be honest, we're students in Medina, and we're coming to demand for the first time in our lives. And we just want to see the
you know, we want to see the city and we want to visit chicks either vomity and that's it. We want to pray in his Masjid. Give him Salaam spend some time with him and then move on. And he was like, no problem. My drivers picking me up from the airport in demand. You guys come with me? And wherever you want to go, you tell me. And we're like, okay, so we you know, he had a very nice big gyms, what they call the gyms, right? a suburban picked us up brought us and he's like, haha, so you guys are going to come to my house and you're going to stay with us, you're going to eat with us? And we're like, No, please, like we don't want to impose. And we also didn't want someone else to feel as
though we had to stay with them and follow their schedule, right. We wanted to be free to be able to do the things we wanted to do when we got there. So
we went
from the airport with him into Diamond City, we didn't know that it was going to be that far of a drive. And then he asked us where we are staying. We said we don't have a hotel to stay in yet. So he said, Okay, I know a really good hotel that's near the area that you want to go to, right. We knew which area we wanted to be in. So he said, I'll bring you there. And you just look at the hotel. See if you like it if you'd like it, fine. If you don't, we'll go somewhere else. So we walked into the hotel.
And he said, Listen, I want to book a room for these two. There. My guests here in the moment they're going to stay for I think it was just two days. We were staying there two nights.
So
the hotel staff said, Okay, we'll bring you up to the room and you know, see the room. So he said go up to the room and see it if you'd like it great. If not, we'll I'll take you somewhere else. So we went up, we looked at the room, we're like, Okay, it looks a little too fancy for us. Like it's probably way out of our budget. But Carlos will tell him we're okay with it. And then when he leaves, right, we thought we'll go down. We'll tell him we're okay with it. And then when he leaves, we'll tell the the hotel staff like you know, it's okay, we're just gonna find somewhere else to stay. When we went back down to the lobby, the men was gone. That brother was gone.
And so we're like, Okay, this guy just ditched us.
And the hotel staff said, No, the room is fully paid for.
Your friend paid the entire amount. And your bags are right there. He left, you know, the bags where we left our our bags in the lobby. And so Pamela, the brother left, he took off. And he left his number with the hotel staff in case there was any issues or any problem for us to call him and he would, he would sort it out.
And we were just shocked. It's kind of lovely. Like this man just paid like we could. There's no way we could afford that hotel. And he paid for it for two nights fully, you know, full all expenses paid for us, Pamela.
And then what happens? We're hungry. So we walk across the street to subway restaurant, and we just sit there we grab a sub, it's after a shower late at night, 1011 o'clock at night. And these two brothers are sitting there and they walk up to us or like Santa Monica. They come send them
Where are you from? From Medina. And then they say, Okay, well, can we sit with you? Sure. Yeah, they sit with us. And they're much older than us.
And so you know, we're respectful and they sit down and they're like, What are you guys doing here? We say, you know, we came to see demand for the first time we're students we had time off from from our classes in between semesters and want to visit chefs out of the vomity tomorrow that's the one thing that we want to do. So one of the brothers he goes, Oh, no problem. He goes I pray for God and shake sides mustard every single morning. I'll bring you I'll come to your hotel and pick you up. Where are you staying? We're like we're staying right across the street.
I didn't think these brothers were gonna come like to depend on someone coming to pick you up at fudges time. Yeah, that's like just like a low height on you know, you're asking
a little too much of someone to come and do that. So I got up extra early. And I knew that at that time, you know, Uber didn't exist and it would be really hard to catch a taxi at like four o'clock in the morning. So I come down
I'm telling you all of this to show you the hospitality of the Muslims who understand something really important. I'm leading up to something. So just bear with me for a second here.
I get ready early in the morning and I tell chef Feisal, I'm like, Listen, you stay here. If the brother comes, you jump in the car and come to the mustard with him. But I'm leaving. Now I'm walking. I said, it's been my dream my entire life to meet chef Sadie Mohammadi. I'm not losing out on this opportunity. I'm walking to his Masjid. It was just under one hour of walking. And it was in the wintertime. So it was cold and you're right by the water.
So I walked there, I got to the masjid. And just as I arrived in the parking lot at the masjid, the brother calls me He's like, God, where are you? On? Like, I met the masjid. He's like, why I told you, I was coming to pick you up. I was like, Okay, I didn't know if you were gonna make it. And I thought, you know, sometimes people sleep through and they become late, and I just didn't want to lose this opportunity is like I'm here. I'm downstairs in the lobby. So Sheikh Faisal came down, you know, met him and then I was already at the masjid I handler pritilata budget right behind chef's comedy.
sat there after fudge. And I was so like, nervous. And the brother came next to me. And he says, go speak to the chef, like move up and talk to him. Like no cut offs. Like I prayed behind him. I'm good. Like, I fulfilled something awesome that I always wanted to do in my life. And somehow I then you know, the brother says, No, no talk to him, talk to the chef, introduce yourself. So the brother himself, sorry.
The brother himself, he, you know, sits right in front of chef side. And he's like, salad I come chef, you know, these, this brother came from from Canada, they're students in Medina. And you know, my friend chef faces from the UK from England. And he's like, you know, the all they wanted to do was come and visit you. And chef salad was super hospitable, really nice, brought me you know, towards his home, then gave me a tour of the masjid gave me a tour of his school that he has right there, right across the street from his house. And somehow that was like, such an amazing opportunity and an amazing, you know, time for me in my life to meet someone that I always, you
know, admired as as a reciter of half and half of the cloud.
And then we ended up you know, being taken around by those two brothers later in the day. They brought us to Jubail, they brought us to hobo. You know, they drove us around everywhere. They paid for everything. They even opened up a small business for us. Can you imagine that? One of the brothers was like, back in the day just starting out doing multi level marketing. And start you know, he signed us up registered us for a business which you know, we ended up closing anyways, because we didn't have the time to do that as students.
Fast forward now. We left them and we took the train to Riyadh. And then from Riyadh, we flew down to Abuja when we arrived in called up my friend, and this friend of mine is someone I met in Heathrow Airport in the masala Okay, I met him in the airport, in the masala in the prayer room, about four years before that three or four years, three years, sorry, three years before that day that I was there in for the first time. He was on his way to Canada that summer, three years earlier. And he went into the prayer room in Terminal for Heathrow to pray the hood and
I was on my way from Canada back to Medina. And I went in the prayer room to pray. And when I met him there he you know I gave him sent me was like Saudis like, yeah, go Canada. He's like, oh, you're from Canada. I'm going to Canada. I was like, Oh, where are you going? He was going to Vancouver to learn English for a few months. I was going back to Medina as a student.
The few minutes that we met there, we exchanged phone numbers and kept in touch through messages like you know, AIDS and Ramadan and stuff like that. Three years later, now I land and give them a call like Ahmed, right.
I'm here in Abuja, if you're available, be nice to meet up with you. He's like, about a year and upon you didn't tell me. He's like, haha, so I'm coming to get you.
comes.
picks us up? Right from the airport.
He's like, Where are you staying? Same deal. We're like, honestly, we don't have a hotel. He's like, no problem. No problem. He goes, I would bring you to my house. But you know, my parents are staying with us now. And there's not much room. So there's a hotel. I'm going to put you in the hotel like No, honestly. Like, seriously, we got this like it's on us. He's like, No, no, no, you're my guests. I have to take care of you. He's like, for three days. I have to look after you. I was like, Huh, what do you mean you have to he goes, it's the law. According to the law in our country in Saudi, if we receive a guest
it's your right for me to take care of you and if I don't take care of you
And provide for you as my guest. You can take me to court and sue me, like a law serious. And that's exactly what it was leading up to. You know, I haven't picked us up, he checked us into the hotel, he paid for the hotel as well. Right? We stayed there I think for another two days. He picked us up the next day, he brought us to the market, right to show us the the market and the traditional, you know, women who were the traditional clothing and they sell some of the fruits and vegetables that they grow in their farms. Then he brought us up jumbo Suda, right, he brought us up the mountain, there's cable cars there, his wife prepared food. Right, gotcha. And Shai, we went up, we brought
the tomato, and, you know, we ate at the top of the mountain. And Pamela, you know, he drove all the way up in his high mountain, like the the break started to smoke on the way down.
And, you know, took us around, then the next day,
there was Africa, one of his friends had a child, and they were having an Africa. So he's like, you got to come. This is a traditional, you know, ICT, right? The the province. I see. He's like, you got to come to see how we do the APA. So he brings us to the pika at his friend's house. And we're just like this amazing. Like, Pamela, we're being treated like kings here. Right. And that's, that's just the way it is. And then some time alone, we're leaving. We took a taxi from there from about two days later, to Jason. And so he brought us to the taxi stand. And I'm like, honestly, from here like Carlos, he goes, No, you my Myrna is upon you. And I'm like, No, honestly, we got this. He's
like, Okay, fine. I don't want to I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. Right? as a guest. Remember, we're just talking about this, right? Until the guest. The guest should not make the host feel like it's a burden upon them. But also, the host shouldn't overdo it that the guest feels uncomfortable. Okay.
So, he puts us in a taxi and he tells the taxi driver, he's like talking to him, but in their dialect, you know, or letter. So he's like, Listen, take care of them. And make sure you bring them all the way to this point. And he told me he's like, dude, make sure this taxi driver brings you all the way to this point. You want to get to that this spot. It's called zone so place. I was like house No problem. We get in the car, we start driving.
We come to an area where it's like a transit, a taxi transit.
This brother, the taxi driver, he like taxis there. They don't just take you. They'll take as many seats as they have in the car. So it's a five seater car. I think it was a Camry. So there was the driver myself shift Faisal. And he took two other people. So we get to the the transit stop. And we're like, Carlos, we get out here. He's like, No, no, you guys stay here. I'm letting these two off. Your friend told me to take you all the way to that point. I'm like, Oh, yeah, that's true. Fine. He continues to drive us.
And then we stopped at a checkpoint. And then he says, Call us this, my friend here. Right? This is as far as I go. My friend will take you to that spot. I'm like, Okay, this guy's playing games now. He's like, No, no, no, my friend will take you to that spot. I'm like, No, you said, you're going to take us to where my friend told you to take us? He says, Yeah, my friend is going to take you there. So I think he's trying to play a game like this guy's trying to pocket some money off of us. And then you know, the next driver is going to make some more money off of us. Unlike us, then like, how much do we have to pay you? He's like, Oh, nothing goes, your friend already paid me. And he paid
this driver as well. I was like,
Are you serious? Like, that's the way hospitality is done out there. Like they, they think ahead in time. And they make sure that their guests are going to be taken care of, even after they leave their care as the host. That's the kind of hospitality that I wanted to share with you. Right? So Pamela, if you can just like sum up this entire story. And the hospitality didn't stop there. Like we met lots of people along the way, but I don't want to keep talking about it. It's just a simple example of how as Muslims, we are not hospitable towards our guests, because we're receiving something from them. We are hospitable towards our guests, because Allah Subhana Allah is watching.
And Allah wants us to be the best that we can towards our guests. Right? And to serve them and look after them and take care of them because it is their right to be well taken care of. And so I hope that in all of that long story, you learned something that would be beneficial to you in sha Allah hota had to sum that up EMA Malika shafia in Abu hanifa they say that it is a sinner
and not word you
to look after guests for three days, mmm, mode, Rahim Allah, in the humble effec. They say that
it is wajib to be hospitable for one day and one night, and that is specifically for someone who lives in a village or in the bedwin towns right out in the desert. But if someone lives in a city, then for three days,
okay, because people live in the city, you have more money and people who live in the village, they have less, so you shouldn't take advantage of them. Okay, so that's just something that I, you know, found really interesting. And I thought, you know, we should all learn about this and shallow data.
So remember, don't stay with the host until you've drained them completely and they have nothing left to serve you with. Okay? It's the hubbub of hate with life.
So it is encouraged within Islam to say something nice when welcoming guests to our home very quickly. You know, we see that
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to a delegation that came to me said welcome or delegation who have come neither will you have any disgrace, nor will you regret spending time with us or being with us, right? So saying something nice sing marhaba you know, welcoming them, you know, saying something nice, basically to your guests as they arrive.
The next point is medical life, either today or who Melhem Yuda.
What do you do when you invite people to your home or you invite people somewhere? But someone who's not invited tags along?
Okay, so you invite someone? What do you call it? Wedding Crashers? So it's called Wedding Crashers. People who show up they're uninvited but they show up anyways just to eat. So this happened during the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam.
I'd be most rude about the Lahore and
he said
someone from the unsought
named Abu aid, had a servant who was a butcher. Okay, a servant who was a butcher and a butcher, obviously someone who not only, you know, knows how to cut the meat, but also sacrifices to meet and then cooks to meet and so on. Right.
So he said to his, you know, his servant,
make some food for us
and invited our sort of La sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
along with four guests. So
five people are being invited Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and four other guests, five people.
So he invited the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam to be one of five guests.
And then,
when they came
those guests with the Prophet sallallahu either usnm someone else in addition to the four had accompanied them. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, verily, you invited us as five people. But this man came along with us. If you wish. You can allow him to eat with us. And if you wish, then you can turn him away. It's your right as the host, you're inviting four people plus me, five of us. This man showed up. He came along he tagged him on he basically wanted to spend time with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So he went with a prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam didn't want to turn him away. But when he got there, out of
respecting the rights of the host, it's your right. I mean, you invited me and these four people, this fifth person came along or sixth person I should say, he came along, and he was not from amongst those that were invited. If you wish, you can allow him to stay. And if you wish, you can turn him back and he will leave. And so the men said to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam rather I'd let him stay right he can stay and eat with us. So we see here that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was very honest and respected the host as well as the guest. Remember the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam here is the guest and it is the right of
The host to either accept this fifth person or sixth person, I should say or reject them, right and decline allowing them to stay.
Now, this shows us a few things that we've pretty much covered already. But one of the things that I wanted to point out is sometimes you have a really good friend of yours who you know, wants to do hire wants to help others. And I'll give you an example. I don't know if he's watching. He might be watching a good friend of mine.
You know, there's some people who you know very well, you could just knock on their doors at anytime, day or night, and they will open the door and welcome you. In fact, the other night, I went down the street, just not too far, about a minute away from us, one of the brothers who his family's from Kenya. And it was, it was really late, I felt really bad. I finished up at the masjid. It was around just before nine o'clock, I got home. And I was supposed to bring something over to, you know, to, to his home.
And he didn't know about it. So we had some food that we were bringing over and I told my wife, I said, we'll bring it to this brother, you know, I drive by their house all the time, and I never dropped anything off. So I said, Let's, you know, drop it off at their house, give them give them some food, even though it's late. I'll tell the brother You know, I'm sorry. It's late, but you can have it for tomorrow, inshallah.
So it was snowing very heavily I pull up in front of his house, he had no ideas, the very first time that I ring his doorbell. And I only knew that this brother and his family lived there. Because every time I drive by, especially in the summer, I would see them in the kids outside playing. And you know, I visited Kenya once. And, you know, the brothers have had a lot you know, such a welcoming, nice, you know, brother, I see him in the mustard sometimes. So
enable my uncle. Right? So the brother.
I ring the doorbell, and he comes to the window he peeks through, he opens the door. He's like, Is everything okay, brother? I'm like Santa Monica. Oh, she has the old martial law.
But what are you doing here? I'm like, brother, I'm really really sorry. Really sorry that I showed up at this time. You know, I got really delayed and late from the masjid. And I, you know, I wanted to deliver this or bring this earlier. He was like, No, no, no, no, my house is like the embassy 24 seven, you can come and knock on my door. You know. So that's, that's an example of how some people are like, they, they want to help others. So I said I was gonna give you an example of a friend of mine, right? This is, this was one example that I gave, but a friend of mine, who I know really well as Pamela. He doesn't live in Milton.
I know that if
you know him, and there's quite a few others who I could knock on their door anytime, day or night. And they'll be willing to help and they will go out of their way. They'll open their homes, they'll do whatever is needed. And I remember I was driving by once and I was with someone who was in need of something. And I didn't know what to do. I was like, Subhanallah How am I gonna help this brother? You know, he's with me in my car. This was a long time ago. And he's with me. And I'm like, I don't know how I'm supposed to like what how am I going to help this brother out with what he needs? And as I'm driving? I'm thinking, so Hannah law, this friend of mine, for sure he's gonna do
this for sure he's gonna help right? And even if he doesn't help us, no problem. At least I brought him into his house. And I let I let my friend know that this brother is in need. And you know, he will help him.
He'll find a way to help him.
And so Pamela just rang the doorbell brother say, Shama, what are you doing here? went in, we sit down, we start talking and said, You know, this brother, he's here, he's this, this is his need, you know, and the brother felt really like that, would you bring me to someone's house? I don't even know who this person is. I said, Don't worry, this is a good friend of mine. If I ever need some help, I know that these brothers they will help me and so you know, I bring you to their house so that if you need help, they will help you because I'm asking they will help you. And that was something Subhana Allah you know, when you look at the son of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam, the prophets on the long run Allah He was seldom noticed when people were in need of things, he would go and borrow it from his friends, his companions, those that were close to him, and he would bring it to the people that were in need because he knew that his close companions would give it to him.
And it's not taking advantage of people. I want you to differentiate this in your minds, right? separate the fact that someone is taking advantage and not taking advantage of anyone not forcing anyone.
There are certain people out there who are waiting for an opportunity to do hired to do good
And they want to help others. And they want to be asked, you know,
they basically want to be known. And it's not known as in, oh, it's showing off. No, they just are so humble that way that they expect you to come to them. And you better come to them, right? Because they will do what it takes to help you. And, and that's out of the goodness of their heart.
And so I brought this brother to my friend's house, the SAT there we ate, you know, just some basic refreshments. I think we just had like, some juice or something. And then, you know, a couple cookies, and then we left. And as we're driving them down his Street, my phone rings, and my friend says, Don't come back.
Like, why? He goes, No, no, come back. You came, and you brought someone who's in need.
And as soon as you left, my wife, his wife, right, my friend's wife, my friend is telling me he says,
My wife asked me, so did you help him?
And my friend was like, supanova, like,
I'm thinking, I'm going to I'm going to find someone who's going to help him, I should help him, like don't brought this man to our house, we should help him. And so Subhana Allah, you know, some people their agenda, Allah Subhana, Allah will give them more than they can even imagine. Honestly, because when you think of that, a $1 million hedge Allah who must Raja, while your resume in high school is it? Allah Subhana Allah says, when you have that consciousness, that taqwa of Allah subhanho wa Taala.
Allah makes things easy for you, he makes a way out from your hardships, because you were conscious of Allah subhana wa Tada. And because you were, you know, trusting only Allah and the people who are put in that position to grant help to others, to be the means of help.
They have been gifted from Allah as being the means of help for someone else. They are the massage. They are the massage. So if someone who is fearing of a loss of Hannah with Aaron as punishment and hoping for goodness from a law
receives the massage from Allah, Allah says, We are so calm and hateful as him that he blesses that person who needed help with with it is from places they never under, they never imagined. Just think for a moment, what is the reward for the person who was put in the position to help that other person? Allahu Akbar, that's just amazing. Unbelievable, right? And when it will come, where it will come from, what form it will be in, will we get in this life or in the theater, Allah knows, but it will be an amazing reward, no doubt. And so anytime someone is put out of their way to help someone else, and alum makes you a means of helping that person, help them help them because the reward we
can't imagine, right now ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to make it easy for every single one of us to be good hosts and to help each other. I mean,
all right, a couple more things before we end inshallah, actually, well, we still have a lot to do.
Okay, so I think we'll end there. And then we'll continue next week, inshallah, we'll finish the chapter next week. Okay. So I'll make a note of it right now. And then we'll open it up for questions.
If anyone has any questions, please feel free to type them in
the comment section inshallah.
I really wanted to finish the chapter today. So we have like, how much does the host spend on the guests, and the Hulu isn't? So entering, you know, and spending time and leaving, and what you should do when you're invited into someone's home. And then, you know, should we prefer someone who's elderly over someone who's young or someone who's on the right sitting on the right side, and then the dual of the guest, and then we will conclude next week with a bit of courage Madlife right.
We'll focus on that next week in Sharla. To add, how do you get candy now? All right, this is this is interesting, because I know where you live, and hopefully you don't live 100 kilometers away
from your kilometers at your parents place.
It always dropped something off inshallah as long as your kids are still awake.
So questions, shuttling data.
Alright, I don't see any questions, so we can just go.
Sorry, you can't come to our place. COVID. Actually, Ali, you can come because only one of you can come there's four of us here. So you only one person can come. We got to wear your mask.
Any questions? Anybody?
Questions about hospitality? Questions about spending?
I'll take a quick sip of water.
Okay, should we expect the hikma or feel disappointed if you don't receive it? Okay.
So
you're entitled to taking what is yours in the sense that, look, we don't, we don't sort of self invite ourselves into someone's home, we have to also be respectful of what's going on within their life as well. But for example, if as Muslims, let's say we come across someone who's traveling and they need some help, then we can invite them into our homes and assist them.
Or if we're going through some sort of hardship, or we need something, we project that we're going to need something at a specific time, and we reach out to someone, let's say, you know, I need to go to a city for work or something, and I'm going to need someone to pick me up from the airport.
And I reach out to a friend of mine. So if he's not able to do it, then he should find someone to do it. For me, as in, you know, we'll make that arrangement. But at the same time, we don't overburden the person. Remember, we took that Hadeeth of of not
making that person go to sin, right? Where they would feel, you know, I now need to talk about this person need to backbite about them, or, you know, I need to go and do something or or provide for them something I don't have, maybe they take something out on credit, and then they're gonna pay interest and so on and so forth. So we do not inconvenience someone in that sense.
But you're entitled to taking what is your right in the sense that when we look at hospitality, what the prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam focuses on in many of the Hadith is food that you're provided food, right, that you're able to eat and remember it their time, that's really all you need. Like, you're providing the bare minimum, but a good quality of the bare minimum.
So someone who's passing through, they might need shelter and food. And that's it. That's enough, right? We shouldn't overdo it and overburden them.
Remember, that's why some of the scholars said we don't see it as something that's wajib they see it as something that is something that if you do it, you get rewarded for doing it.
And then some of the other scholars said, You know what, if someone is living within the city, then it's three days and someone who's living in the desert or in the villages than it is one day. Why do they say that? Because you don't want to overburden someone who's not who's not in a position to help out in the first place. Okay, so we shouldn't expect something we should never expect anything from anyone except Allah subhanho wa Taala. But these chapters are these these Hadeeth that we're taking right now is showing us the importance of being the host right the importance of being the host and hosting people and the rewards for it. Okay.
Yeah, it if you want to swing by feel free.
Pick up some candy outside we always have we always have something in our home. You know what, October 31, every single year. I wait until the next morning November 1, and I load up on about close to $300 worth of chocolate and candy.
October this year, I didn't buy anything because I knew that I would have that with me for a long time because we didn't have the masjid classes open. So I didn't buy anything on purpose but we we still do have lots because
We have kids and girls in our home and in fact we have some fresh chocolate chip cookies that were just baked
that I haven't tried yet.
So yeah, at least swing by and pick up some chocolate chip cookies and Sharma all right
is iccm open for Juma prayers now? Yes it is Sr sedef We are open for Jamal you do have to register using the app the mosquito app and
Jesse mom hoping that you're doing good inshallah, my Salaam to you and your family.
Any other questions?
Any questions?
Seems like everyone's professional at hospitality.
So Ali is supposed to be asking for Chai.
And we used to get together on a lot.
We used to some of the families used to get together after I finished the Holocaust in the masjid. So usually
pre COVID for the first year and a half of me working here in the masjid, we'd have about five to 500 to 600 people in the masjid every Friday night for our Friday night program. So that's awesome. Like having five or 600 people every single week you know coming together families children running around the mustard is awesome, crazy wild.
stressful but fun. And then some Pamela we'd get together you know with some families and one week could be at our house and other week would be Ali's house.
Another week could be at you know a couple of our other friends his homes, but piano lessons COVID we haven't been able to do this. So we hope that we'll be able to do that again sometime soon.
If someone invites you over, then do you have to invite them back? No, you don't. Okay, so if someone invites you over, you do not have to invite them back. Why? Because in Islam, we don't do things expecting something in return. Okay, we do things for the sake of Allah subhana wa Tada. Now, should we invite them over to our home? It's out of courtesy Yes. to, you know, return a favor or to, to do to return something to another person to match it or to even do better than it like responding to the sentiment. Right. But is it a must? No, it isn't.
I feel like there is this unwritten rule that when someone invites you over, then you have to return the favor and then you go into looking at what they served you and trying to match that? No, that's that's not within the deen. Right. What's within the deen is our own? So we look at our own. What is Earth? I know it's hard. It kind of sounds weird, right? Some people will say sounds like a dog barking Earth.
But it isn't it's all rain
or orphaned.
That is the norm. What is customary? What is culturally accepted and the norm within the places that every person resides in? That's one thing that's looked at. So what is the out of the out of which we're going to look at next week in sha Allah in the same chapter, first of all, is,
you know, if you're invited to someone's home, should you stay after you finish eating? Or should you leave right away? You know, what should you do?
If the norm is to stay and sit down and spend some time there, great if the norm is to eat and leave, then eat and leave, right?
But if the norm is to invite someone over for food, and then give them tea, then that's fine that can be done. If the norm is to first start with
coffee, then eat then have tea like in Saudi, right? You start with coffee, then you go to the food, then you finish with the tea and dates, right.
And then dessert and then Sala and then come back and stay there till three o'clock in the morning to fudge it and then pre fudge it and then go home. Right? If that's the norm then great. But do we have to do that? No.
Everyone should look at their means. And we should not spend more than what's within our means. Okay? If a person cannot afford something, then there is no shame in that because remember, when we look at a sadaqa that's being given
if
if we're doing a
if we're doing a fundraiser, for example, in a Masjid and we say we need 50 people to give $500 you
You want to get $500. But maybe you don't have it. And all you can afford right now is $50.
And so you feel ashamed, you feel sad, you feel down, you feel pressured as well, because you see all of your friends putting up their hands and going 500 no problem. 500 500 505 Evans like 500, you're sitting there going,
Allah has blessed me with that much I don't understand. How is it that I don't have the $500? What am I doing wrong? Oh, don't look at it that way. Look at it as maybe the 500 that they're giving, they're able to give him the law. And you're 50 is a smaller amount. But in terms of what you have, and what you're able to provide,
or to give, then that smaller amount might actually be more for you. And heavier and more rewarding, even though it's only $50. But it might be more rewarding than someone who gives $500 because of the sacrifice that's made with it. So we give within our means, and we provide what we're able to provide based on, you know, our, our ability, and also what is considered, you know, acceptable within the society, okay.
There's something to be said for doing something because you really want to versus doing something because you feel it is expected. Yes. And that's the issue is that when your intention is played with, and now you're doing it because you feel it's expected. That's where you're no longer doing something, usually, you're no longer at that point in time doing it for the sake of a law, you're doing it for the sake of the person
or the people or some sort of recognition or, or to be to avoid being criticized, right. As opposed to saying, I'm sorry, I can't afford this. Or I'm sorry, I can only provide this for you. Or I'm sorry, I can't do that right now. Right? I don't have the ability, but I'll see if I could find someone else who can do that. That is more genuine and sincere than being forced into something. When a person hosts you, you can tell the difference if they really wanted to have you over. Or if they felt like they had to. Sometimes you can, but remember, we shouldn't just judge people like that, right? But sometimes you can. Sometimes you can feel like, Okay, how long enough is enough
leaf, right? Or? Oh, you're here. Yay. All right, hurry up. We had something else to do, right. So that's why we should also be very, very understanding of other people's situations.
Similarly, when people send a thought to the neighbors and expect a better one to be returned, Allahu Akbar. Yeah, it shouldn't be that way. Man. You don't send over biryani and expect like having some restaurant meal catered and delivered to your house? Or, you know, you make?
I don't know.
Like, it's like,
it's like giving?
I don't know. Gonna give an example. Maybe it's not right.
Yeah, but basically giving something to someone and expecting something better in return, because maybe they shared something better with you in the past? Or maybe they were very generous in the past. So you have to be very careful of that. Right.
All right. Any last questions? Before we end? It's been a total of one hour, three minutes and 46 seconds.
Yeah, Uber Eats is awesome. Right? humbler? You can send lots of things with it. Right? A lot. Make it easy. But again, not everyone can afford the Uber Eats, right? So sometimes it's easy to pick up a phone and order something and send it
Yeah, we should all you know. Always make sure we check our intentions inshallah.
Okay, that's it for today. I'll see you on Sunday in sha Allah, Allah. For those of you that are on Instagram, you'll notice that my wife was really chatty. And that's because, and I'll say this, just make dua for her. Not in a bad way. She had her wisdom teeth, all four of them removed yesterday. And there's a little joke going around between me and her. Where I was walking out of the dentist's office and the dentist was saying, so no talking for two days. I'm like no talking for two days. really humble. So now she's typing away
on the law, sorry, picking on you, teasing you. What are you going to do about it?
All right, we'll see you on Sunday in sha Allah.
As I come along Fabian was about a calligraphy con or sallallahu wasallam all about a Canon Idina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa sallam and we look forward to the masjid halaqaat once again in sha Allah I know it was really nice we enjoyed it you know having five or 600 people gathering having those sources and day and ladoos and jumped on and Barfi and sweets and chocolates and kick cats and all that it's always fun and nice but
we have to make sure that it comes back does that come along halen was said Mr. Eddie come to LA he was about a cattle
and said if we will we will be making Doha inshallah
now let's make it easy for you and your husband. And may Allah subhana wa tada reunite both of you very soon. I mean,