7 Habits Of Raising Righteous Children – Part 1

Bilal Philips

Channel: Bilal Philips

Episode Notes

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Sh. / Dr. Bilial advises us on 7 habits we need to adopt in order to raise righteous children.

2017-05-26

Episode Transcript

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Wa salatu salam ala rasulillah

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praises due to a lot of speech and lessons beyond the last messenger.

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before going on to the second habit

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we got the top wall building chart

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from

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our first habit yesterday

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we said that Sharla would hear some of the habits that people had come up with.

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To call it the habits building that there are habitual acts as we want to do on a regular and continual basis,

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which would help us with Dada.

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You're given it as an individual assignment.

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So

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shall we,

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we will start from the right side shift over to the left, what you can do is each person can just identify an activity, which they added to their chart.

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Or if you didn't add anything to your chart,

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come up with something on the spot as to an activity you would like to add.

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So can we start on this side?

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What do you have

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mentioned your names.

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So my mom told

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me and my wife You didn't have time to

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put on the track because

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we are. You're sleeping early.

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So with

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Excel, you have example I have made this before I put in the Excel file. And then there's this question of possible focus on a proposal. You know, something like

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faster fasting for

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Monday.

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Just interesting.

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And then something like us.

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Okay, we'll just we'll just take one. Okay.

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So you you you added fasting

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Thursdays

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okay.

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You put it in your Excel chart before haven't been doing it. Yeah. But the problem is

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the maximum takes only seven days for me to be consistent.

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Because it's, it's

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it's getting hard if you

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it's really difficult to get, you know,

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to get it's

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to keep this to keep it consistent.

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So you only asked for seven days, more than one week basically. Yeah.

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So what happens after some time you try again, keep trying again. Or you just try it for one week. Manage one week and then you haven't been doing it. I didn't want on long after that. I remember again and it ended in the next month. It's not it's not within

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a few months. Okay, so

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is your wife not encouraging you to do it? Is she able to do it or not?

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Are both

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of us because it's only means I don't know if

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you? Well, of course that makes it that much harder. But we'll try this together for for for us first

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Before we can phase out,

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yeah, of course,

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for the children, depending on how young the children are,

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you can give them some reward for joining.

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You know, you don't have to try to make it every Monday and Thursday, but you can

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do like insist if they don't feel like 111 day or 130, whatever, you know, you can just give them something like, you know, something they like, you give it to them as encouragement on they, they will be motivated when they get some direct benefit from it.

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But for yourself and your wife, I mean, by doing it together, then you will be helping each other. This is so that even if one falls, the other one still continues, tries to encourage one to

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to get back on it. And also between the two of you will show up, you should be able to keep it consistent.

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Doing it together.

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Okay.

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So

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I don't have my weapon, I'm not here. So maybe it can be next.

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But what would you What comes to your mind as something that you or your wife

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could establish as a regular habits, which would help to build

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consciousness?

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Yes.

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Of course, I'm not.

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I'm not listening, so maybe can continue this journey.

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Okay, I mean, it's not that complicated. It's not rocket science.

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But anyway, pass it on.

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Morning, all.

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Together with my wife, my daughter likes to read that. She's very good at this like to read the Quran every day, especially in the morning, together with my wife, my wife gives her advice on different matters. So I think it's important. She gets a good understanding early age,

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the meaning of everything. And then and then act upon that like every day, wake up with a good attitude.

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The

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past that attitude to others, she sees kind and gentle things like that, but also

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with an understanding why she's doing that.

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So you and your wife have already established regular

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morning core and really

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much my plan. My wife and your wife, they're doing it but you aren't. I work on our rig. Yeah, 1000 miles away. So I'm really home. Yeah, no problem. At least. You know, we have Quran and our androids, iPhones now. So you can take karate, basically anywhere we go. So

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it's good that, that you do it along with your wife. And that's what we talked about this big team effort. This will help to keep

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both of you consistent. Because I mean, just for yourself. Of course reading it. Maybe your

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ability to read the Arabic text may be limited. So you read the translation.

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I'm in English

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but I really important that my daughter sees all of us, all of us.

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Yeah, it's good. But I'm saying for yourself. You know when you are you go out on the rig whatever that you set for yourself. After that morning prayer that you take aside 10 minutes 15 minutes and just read a few verses and reflect on

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that this is just a good habit to set. Because the reading of the Quran and the constant reading of the Quran. It will bring a greater consciousness of Allah

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Because there's so much there, that law is communicating with us because it is really a conversation

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between a law and ourselves. So sometimes people

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will look at the Quran, who come from other backgrounds, example, Christian backgrounds, etc, where I used to read the Bible, and the Bible stories, you know, you could see the beginning, you know, climax. And, you know, there's one story after another chapter after chapter is a series of stories. Whereas the format of the Quran, some non Muslims have looked at it, and said, this thing is confused.

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You know, stuff is coming from here, there and everywhere. It's not following the normal pattern of a book, you know, so a story book, a novel, cat keeps your attention, because, you know, you're working your way through a story and you're going with it, you want to find out well, what did you do and what happened? And how did it end and, you know, so you have that kind of attraction, which holds you to the stories, style stories now.

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However, the crime is

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a communication between a law and ourselves. So what happens is that as we speak,

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if we sit down and have a conversation, we don't speak in stories

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might have something of a story, incident, whatever you tell us, you're talking. But if you listen to a person's conversation over a stretch of time, they sat down to people they talk, you'll see that the conversation follows a different pattern. ideas will come in recent events over the top to you or with your family, it's coming from all over the place. That's how we talk. This is what's happening here with the Koran is communicating to us suddenly, in the way that we communicate this law communicating to us directly, and there is a series of messages which are coming, even if we don't catch it, right. In the beginning, it is subliminally coming into our minds and giving us a

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closer

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contact with the law through that video. So this is why I would advise it's still 1015 minutes, whatever, you know, you read, and if you can get

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tafsir ibn katheer

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tafsir ibn Kafeel, it is better, because it is the Quranic verse with commentary. So what happens is that you read the verse, and then the scholar had been configured from 10th century century, he

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give a commentary explaining the context of the verse.

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What did the Prophet say with regards to this verse?

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Like this, so it gives you a deeper understanding of the verse, and that inshallah may hold your interest more when you're getting that additional model. So I'd advise you know, you can it's a 10 volume of work. So you can just take one book with you keep it written.

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In English, it's in English, is it translated into English?

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But in English,

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and it's quite, it's very well written, good English. Writing, sometimes some translations are a bit difficult to read, etc. But this is quite clear. So that would be my advice. And I just like to add that, when I do read upon, it's like, you're right. It's like, I'm being directly

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left.

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kind of feels like it. Yeah, it's coming straight to me.

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And that's exactly what it is. It's a direct communication.

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So this is a good habit to set

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as a regular morning, setting a particular time.

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Time to be able to keep it going, you know, it's good to not just say, Okay, what I read in the morning. So one morning, you might be caught up with someone else, and then you miss it. And then another morning, the next thing you know, it drops altogether. But set the time. Once you have a regular time is fixed, then it will be easier for you to get back in if you visit one day, get back the next day.

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For me, I think,

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different keys because I have no small kid anymore.

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Well, you know, this issue, right? When we set the chart, this issue wasn't specifically for the kids. This issue was for the parents, because we said that for us to develop taqwa in the children. And we should have that in ourselves. So this is why this chart wasn't specifically for kids later on, of course, involving them in it is a good thing. And we will talk about that later. But this jar was for ourselves to set a series of practices, regular ritual practices, which would increase our own top, whether we have kids or we don't have kids, we all need to increase our

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feeling in my note first,

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during an EP, bring in anything with it, right?

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Okay, if that issue for you.

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Eating, drinking with the right hand, make that as a

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practice that you want to live or be conscious of. And that's good. We just want to take one from each person. Okay, so for many of you,

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perhaps this is not the issue, you've been raised. doing that. So you might consider Well, that's not really one for me. But for somebody whose background may have not been one in which the family stresses, so you got into the habit of eating with the left, etc, you know, that,

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to set that and get into habit is a good thing.

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Because when we consider this, eating with the right,

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and drinking with the right.

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And I should mention that

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the common practice in many parts of the Muslim world, is that

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if you're eating with your hands, people eat with their hands, instead of forks, you're eating with your hands. And you're eating with your writing. And so your right hand gets greasy, and whatever. So the time comes now to drink. So what people do is they will pick up the glass with their left hand,

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then they'll put on

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drink,

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feeling that they have, they're still drinking with the right hand.

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This is happening.

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Well know that you're still you're drinking with your left hand. It's not drinking with the right hand. There's no basis for doing this.

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It's incorrect. And it's a direct

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violation of a clear command of the Prophet Muhammad was allowed to not eat or drink with the left.

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So if this was your habits,

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give it up.

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What happened is that shavon made it seem

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justifiable in the minds of some and it spread. Because I'm not saying this is not just here in Indonesia. I've seen it in Malaysia, the Philippines I've seen it.

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I've seen it in many places.

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But really it is from shaitan.

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Because

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Because if we say

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I'm doing this because my right hand is dirty.

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If you think about it, if you held the glass with your right hand,

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and you got the glass, whatever with your right, what's happening with the glass afterwards anyway,

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you're gonna wash it.

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So really, there is no excuse, it's just been put in people's heads. You know, you don't want to grease dirty glass.

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It's really has no logical basis.

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It's satanic logic.

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And if we go back into the right and the left.

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So people and looking at this practice in

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choosing the right to eat, drink, when we give things when we receive things, but the right hand doesn't mean you can't do anything with the left doesn't mean you have to right also the right or your left handed, you can read to the left no problem.

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But we have a series of things like this, you go into the masjid with your right foot? No, you come out, stepping out with your left foot. You know, some people looking at this, especially people from Western backgrounds, etc. will look at it say, Well, what is all this?

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Or does it matter whether you step out with your right foot you put on your shoe with your right foot first?

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If you just jump into the with both feet,

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why why make opposition? Why all this issue right and left? what the point is that

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what it is doing

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is it's taking certain habits that we do daily anyway.

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And giving it structure

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giving it a particular structure.

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We all need

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everybody's, it's a human function. So we can eat with the right way to the left, were given instructions to eat with the right. Of course, this instruction came 1400 years ago.

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And

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prior to that, but the recorded practice, because even in Christianity, there was issues about the right.

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But 1400 years ago, the prophet may God's peace and blessings be upon him specify this

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today,

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when know that germs can be passed,

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people when they use the bathroom, either clean themselves with the right or with the left.

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Now, if you clean yourself with the same hand that you eat with, you can help yourself

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passing on germs that your body is passed off, taking it back into your system, because the way you wash your hands, but even so, you know, I've read studies, even in the West, where you know, people are quite particular about cleaning and these type of things. You know that in they've done tests of fecal matter, on the subways and in the buses, you know, the way people normally hold and surprising amounts are there. In spite of people's habits, it's there. So this issue was at a time when nobody was aware of germs be passed.

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So the left hand was reserved for cleaning oneself. And the right hand was free.

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And of course 1400 years ago, there was no toilet paper. Okay, so there's no issue of Okay, well,

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you know, 1400 years ago, there was no toilet paper. So this had particular hygiene genic benefits that came from it. Besides that, the right hand.

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We all know that. What has been informed to us by a loss of modality, on that on the Day of Judgment

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Those going to paradise will receive their books

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of deeds in their right hands,

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those going to hell will receive it in their left hands behind their backs. So this is also a reminder

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of choosing the right over the wrong.

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So it's a reminder of the day of judgment to come with which will be accountable.

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So that

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choice of the right goes beyond just the physical act.

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So for conscious, this is also a reminder for us, faith wise, in terms of our faith. So

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establishing this, for those of us who may not have been raised with these practices in place, you know, should be done. And for those of us that are already doing it, also, you can add this additional

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concepts connected to it. You know, the problem is on Sunday, I'm favoring the right reminder, the judgment, right over wrong.

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And as we said, giving structure to common practices, what that people would not normally even think about

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whether it was your right or left and that's something you think about Should I do my left Should I just my right? in society, it's just whatever comes you grab it and you eat, but in Islam by choosing the right so this is a matter of conscious choice, you're choosing to follow the instruction of the Messenger of Allah.

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So

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at that context to it, and of course, as you're raising your children, you where they reached the level of understanding you give them that additional understanding. So it has more meaning than simply the ritual of

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eating with the right giving with the right.

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Okay.

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On to yourself.

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Smith

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setting on the good habit,

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I usually with my wife,

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the morning and afternoon Zika

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everyday basis, find the modeling Zika virus, okay. Is can be done almost every day, but for the afternoon Zika is quite problem

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for me is actually doing the activity in the afternoon. I wife is okay, but my children

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also.

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Also it's difficult, especially for the small, smaller kids,

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small kids, usually after

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a good rain outside.

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But focus first on yourself.

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This is you want to establish the car of the morning and the evening. Right? choosing an amount, which is doable is not going to take a lot of time. And then also doing it with reflection.

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Because it's simple enough for us to sit there and you know,

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do Vicar

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phrase of remembrance, and we just repeated so many times and then go on. So you've gone through that ritual, but we have to remember that these acts of remembrance of God.

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Either they are phrases,

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or they are actual glass

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car of the morning.

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So what's key

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is reflection on what is that phrase of remembrance focused on what does it actually mean?

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Let's say a lot of people are involved in a car and they don't. They're not really conscious of what you say.

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It's just become a ritual.

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And as a ritual, you try to tend to say it faster and faster.

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When you first learn it, then you know you say it so many times you tried to finish it off as quickly as possible. And I remember when

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I

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was teaching some new Muslims about Salaam

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UAE, I took a group of them

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into the masjid. So they could get the experience of praying with the community. They hadn't learned all the things of the prayer, but praying besides one who prays they just did it. Those people did. So at the end of the prayer, you know, we sat we got together I said to them, talk about their experience in the prayer, etc.

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And one of them asked me

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and the others were nodding their heads, they said,

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why is it

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that after the prayer

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congregation,

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their hands start shaking as if they have Parkinson's, you know, you have Parkinson's disease, you know, you lose control of the muscles, your hand starts to just shake like this. So why is

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because they observed Muslims, as soon as the prayer was over, everybody's started to shake.

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Well, I explained to them, I will actually what they're supposed to be doing is remembering a law. You know, by counting on the fingertips hand, the law was handed in Atlanta and blah, blah, blah, whatever, whatever. combination. That's what is supposed to happen. But what happens in practice, as a paper there is one.

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So

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we have to say, what is this? What are we actually doing here? Is this remembrance of Allah?

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No.

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It's not. We're going through it and doing it regularly. But it's not really remembered.

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Because if you just stop and think for a minute, you just did somehow law. So the law has meaning. But you're just this one was was one of the

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it's not going into your head at all. There's no reflection, no, nothing. It's just sounds, you may as well like, like the Hindus, you know, their car, focus around sound. Oh, so they will just repeat Oh, and of course, when the whole template is doing it, you know, it has a bus at home. Everybody's involved in this. Oh, so

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this is all meaning. It's not important. It doesn't have any meaning. It's just sound. So that's what we have turned this remembrance of Allah Subhana Allah, may Allah be glorified from all negative concepts that are attributed to him, he is free of all that human beings have falsely attributed.

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This

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has lost its meaning.

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So, when we try to establish the car, we should do so.

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In a manner which is befitting remembrance of Allah.

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Because just as the prayer remember the man in the masjid, who came to sit with the prophet SAW Salaam, he made to Raka and he came to sit with them. The process of them said, Go back and pray because you didn't pray.

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We did it three times till finally said O Messenger of Allah. I don't know anything else, please tell me what am I supposed to do? So I told him, because what he was praying, you know, he was praying 90 miles an hour.

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Right? He stood up, just running through the prayer. So the process stone Sallam told him, You stand up, you pause,

00:34:21--> 00:34:47

till all of the bones of your body fall into place. So you settle, you pause between the movements, to give yourself enough time to reflect on what you're supposed to be saying in the prayer. So in the same way, that the prayer itself becomes nullified when we pray in that fashion. Similarly, the car that we're doing are also nullified

00:34:49--> 00:34:53

because we're only rewarded for what we are conscious of.

00:34:55--> 00:35:00

As we said, the thicker was, is not a solid. So it's just a matter of repeating

00:35:00--> 00:35:00

In this hour,

00:35:02--> 00:35:06

the vicar is glorifying God.

00:35:07--> 00:35:10

So that glorification should have meaning.

00:35:12--> 00:35:16

And we should reflect on that meaning for it to have value.

00:35:19--> 00:35:33

So, this is advice with regards to the car for everybody, you know, it's a good point to establish the morning and evening. But to do so with reflection,

00:35:35--> 00:35:42

understanding, do so at a pace that is befitting the remembrance of Allah.

00:35:44--> 00:35:45

I just think

00:35:46--> 00:35:50

your name is Ahmed. And somebody is just calling you out you

00:35:56--> 00:35:57

My name is admit

00:36:00--> 00:36:01

you're not gonna like it

00:36:04--> 00:36:08

is not acceptable. So why we want to do that to God.

00:36:13--> 00:36:15

Chawla on the pastor Michael,

00:36:20--> 00:36:20

one of

00:36:25--> 00:36:41

the hardest things for me to do this is I am going to separate with my ex wife and orient divorce. When my children's or my, my daughter was in with me, is just in the weekend.

00:36:43--> 00:36:48

She's following through very good. But when she's in the mother's house,

00:36:50--> 00:36:50

it's all gone.

00:36:52--> 00:36:57

Okay, that's a particular problem. But now let's talk about you. What

00:36:59--> 00:37:11

habits? Would you like to add to your chart? Okay to develop for yourself to build your what habit? Would you like to add

00:37:14--> 00:37:15

Sumo prayer.

00:37:17--> 00:37:18

Because

00:37:21--> 00:37:27

I always do the support prayer and my daughter, sometimes she's waking up, and she's not. So

00:37:29--> 00:37:36

I already pushed her to wake up and she's crying and everything. But that's what I told her she?

00:37:38--> 00:37:49

Well, that's, this is a point we need to deal with, when we actually go into the things of the kids. But I'll just say as a general piece of advice for an eight year old.

00:37:51--> 00:38:18

You don't I mean, you need to find some other way of encouraging her to get up for that morning prayer. You know, if she is crying, and you know, like, you're forcing her Is this good? Right? We want to find a way where she is motivated herself to want to do it, to want to join you. But in terms of what you would establish for yourself, what

00:38:21--> 00:38:23

you are not doing

00:38:24--> 00:38:31

what you think if you did it, it would increase your consciousness of a law.

00:38:32--> 00:38:36

We've already mentioned fasting Mondays and Thursdays

00:38:38--> 00:38:41

reading the Quran, with tafsir in the morning.

00:38:43--> 00:38:45

Eating and drinking with the right hand.

00:38:46--> 00:38:52

Remembering a lot of words of remembrance, is there anything that you would like to add to that list?

00:38:56--> 00:39:00

Yeah, I think the prayers on time

00:39:02--> 00:39:04

praying on time. Yes. Okay.

00:39:06--> 00:39:08

Prayer on time.

00:39:13--> 00:39:34

And this would be first and foremost, the morning prayer. So fudger prayer, yes. And to establish it on time. And of course performance as you know, I'd said that the best prayers are those that are done at the beginning of time, on time.

00:39:35--> 00:39:41

A law said that prayer, you know, in salata Canada and moving in a good habit of

00:39:42--> 00:39:48

prayer is at fixed times, we should try to establish six times Okay, that's a

00:39:49--> 00:39:58

good habit. We want to establish one to pass it on. We'll just take from no capacity back to the sisters behind

00:40:02--> 00:40:03

And then we'll move on

00:40:16--> 00:40:18

morning and afternoon, Chico.

00:40:20--> 00:40:26

We've added that already, the current morning, in the afternoon, you have something else you'd like to add.

00:40:29--> 00:40:30

So I'm like,

00:40:36--> 00:40:48

I have to prepare myself is good to my chest at least once a week, regularly on the weekend, especially because sometimes when

00:40:49--> 00:40:51

we have planned to go there,

00:40:53--> 00:41:00

suddenly, there's an invitation from our friends or family, such as wedding invitation like that.

00:41:01--> 00:41:07

I think I have to learn more about sooner, because

00:41:10--> 00:41:12

I just have a little bit.

00:41:17--> 00:41:18

So what you're saying is

00:41:20--> 00:41:22

my deleted limb regularly

00:41:23--> 00:41:24

does.

00:41:27--> 00:41:31

That's once a week, yes, once a week, but sometimes

00:41:34--> 00:41:37

usually any excuses.

00:41:41--> 00:41:42

Okay. So,

00:41:43--> 00:41:48

what you need to then do is to make the resolution that

00:41:49--> 00:41:54

you will not allow any excuses to stop you.

00:41:55--> 00:42:01

If you are to benefit from these rows, you need to be consistent.

00:42:02--> 00:42:12

The whole purpose of the duros is lessons are to build your knowledge in a structured format.

00:42:14--> 00:42:26

So that you can get a solid understanding, and you will be able to then pass it on to others. Because without structure,

00:42:27--> 00:42:30

if you are just learning by

00:42:31--> 00:42:33

internet, you to

00:42:35--> 00:42:46

lecture here or there, you attend at this, you can do that for years. And the knowledge remains disconnected.

00:42:47--> 00:42:58

So if somebody were to ask you, could you give a lesson on PETA? For example, on tower heat, you will say no, no, I can't.

00:42:59--> 00:43:01

But why not? You you've been

00:43:02--> 00:43:58

doing taking lessons lectures of YouTube of so many different locations. But why can't you? Well, because it's not structured. So you're not able to connect everything and have it in such a way that you have understood the whole range of that particular topic. So you can give it to others. This is the importance of structured learning. I remember, actually, just a couple of months back what a brother had said to me, that, you know, he, he was getting knowledge in this way became from here, there and everywhere. He said, I was doing that for the last five years. Then I joined the Islamic online university. And they said, you know, in that first semester,

00:43:59--> 00:44:04

I learned more in that first semester than I learned in all those five years.

00:44:07--> 00:44:10

Six months was superior

00:44:11--> 00:44:16

to five years of picking and choosing from all over the place.

00:44:21--> 00:44:36

So that is the nature. It's not to say something special about our program, but any structured program is going to be more beneficial than haphazardly taking from many different sources.

00:44:38--> 00:44:43

Okay, could you pass the mic back here straight behind you.

00:44:53--> 00:44:54

Run everywhere.

00:44:56--> 00:44:59

I do it Cora everyone.

00:45:00--> 00:45:01

Column down already.

00:45:03--> 00:45:06

You can come up with something else you have anything else?

00:45:08--> 00:45:11

No, maybe first day we are fasting.

00:45:21--> 00:45:27

speak honestly, speak honestly. speaking honestly.

00:45:28--> 00:45:29

Okay.

00:45:34--> 00:45:36

For myself,

00:45:37--> 00:45:39

sometimes I

00:45:41--> 00:45:41

have

00:45:42--> 00:45:44

to please other

00:45:49--> 00:45:50

things.

00:45:53--> 00:45:54

Okay,

00:45:55--> 00:45:56

too, to

00:45:57--> 00:45:58

be honest

00:46:00--> 00:46:01

in communication.

00:46:09--> 00:46:12

One point to note here is that,

00:46:13--> 00:46:21

remember that the process elements said, it's permissible to lie in three circumstances.

00:46:23--> 00:46:24

And this is when you're communicating

00:46:26--> 00:46:33

meaning that there are occasions where not telling the actual truth

00:46:34--> 00:46:38

is preferable over telling the truth.

00:46:40--> 00:46:43

And this is where in the

00:46:45--> 00:46:47

telling of the truth,

00:46:48--> 00:47:11

there is benefit to the person that you are speaking, it's there's benefit for your relationship with the person that you're communicating with. Because what is the evil of the lie is that it becomes harmful. It's deception. You're deceiving the person.

00:47:12--> 00:47:18

So there's a harmful element connected to it. So the prophet SAW Solomon said

00:47:19--> 00:47:21

that between a husband and wife,

00:47:22--> 00:47:25

they are allowed to

00:47:28--> 00:47:30

tell lies.

00:47:32--> 00:47:44

Right? But this is in limited circumstances, right? What meaning what what, what kind of circumstance? Is it allowable for a wife and a husband to lie to each other?

00:47:45--> 00:47:46

The wife

00:47:48--> 00:47:50

gets a new dress.

00:47:51--> 00:47:53

And she comes home and

00:47:54--> 00:47:57

models it for you says, What do you think?

00:48:02--> 00:48:02

Husband?

00:48:04--> 00:48:07

I really don't like it, you know, it's gonna hurt your feelings.

00:48:10--> 00:48:18

It's gonna hurt her feelings. Same thing with the wife and the husband, you know, the wife gets a nice Islamic, but it doesn't look good on him.

00:48:20--> 00:48:24

But he's happy with it. He likes it. This is what do you think?

00:48:26--> 00:48:29

So these are the times it's allowed.

00:48:31--> 00:48:31

Looks good.

00:48:33--> 00:48:33

Looks good.

00:48:35--> 00:48:36

Also,

00:48:37--> 00:48:40

to bring friends together

00:48:42--> 00:48:56

to friends who are close friends. Now they're split. They don't want to talk with each other or communicate with each other at all, don't have anything to do with each other. So in order to bring them back,

00:48:57--> 00:49:03

you go to one and say, you know, so and so. She was asking about you

00:49:06--> 00:49:06

know, she didn't?

00:49:09--> 00:49:17

Really? Yeah, she was wondering. So you're telling her something which makes her feel okay, this person still cares for

00:49:18--> 00:49:21

their friends. And then you go to the other one, you say the same thing.

00:49:23--> 00:49:31

So that puts a good feeling in the heart of both of them. And that paves the way for them to be able to come back together.

00:49:33--> 00:49:51

So this is a circumstance where it's permissible because again, in these circumstances, there is no deception in the sense of harm coming from it. It is just to, to sample hearts to make hearts better. The third circumstance is in the case of war

00:49:53--> 00:49:59

where war we know involves deception. You let the

00:50:00--> 00:50:04

They may think you're coming from the right, and you attack from the left.

00:50:05--> 00:50:23

So you give false information, whether it's through radio transmission, or one of your people have been captured as a prisoner. And they asked, okay, where's the, where's your army coming from? So you say, from the left, but it's really coming from the right.

00:50:24--> 00:50:25

This is war.

00:50:26--> 00:50:27

Now it's permissible.

00:50:29--> 00:50:53

So, of course, these statements, all of these, if you don't give it a context, you know, it can be taken wrongly, because if you say, deception is okay in war, meaning that you can pretend you want to make a truth. So you raise the right white flag, it's internationally accepted white flag means truth. So when you make the truth, and then the people come, then you kill them.

00:50:55--> 00:50:57

deception, that evil,

00:50:58--> 00:51:08

that is just straight evil, because you have used the international symbol of truth means you stopped fighting.

00:51:09--> 00:51:12

So that type of deception is not acceptable is

00:51:14--> 00:51:42

not permitted. Okay. All right. So anyway, we had at least regard there 367 points that we can add, perhaps others if you haven't, you have anything outside of the seven, you know, in another session, at the end of on the other sessions, you may add it to move on now to our

00:51:43--> 00:51:45

second habit.

00:51:46--> 00:51:46

Okay.

00:51:48--> 00:51:48

So,

00:51:51--> 00:51:53

the second happens

00:51:54--> 00:51:55

is,

00:51:58--> 00:51:59

and note again,

00:52:00--> 00:52:12

that this is not specific to the children, these first set of habits have to do with the parents themselves, what they need to do for their child,

00:52:14--> 00:52:16

what they should be doing,

00:52:17--> 00:52:42

to make the opportunity or to give the children the opportunity to be righteous children, that they may be raised righteously. As we said, if the parents are themselves not righteous, then passing on righteousness is virtually impossible.

00:52:43--> 00:52:50

If the children become righteous, they're become righteous in spite of us, not because of us.

00:52:51--> 00:52:55

Right. So this is the second habit here

00:52:56--> 00:53:09

has to do with two of the parents. How important is this law? Well, we find the texts in both the Quran and the Sunnah, which speak about

00:53:11--> 00:53:50

a lot told us in sword for God, verse 74, describing a by the rock man, by the Rockman, the worshipers of a law the Most Merciful, their characteristics, these are the classical characteristics of the righteous. So Allah describes them, making the robina hablan mean as wodgina with react, Tina kurata. Allah, our Lord, grant us from years, our spouses and children, a coolness to our eyes,

00:53:51--> 00:54:04

that this should be a regular practice of parents, of husbands for wives, wives for husbands to make.

00:54:06--> 00:54:07

regularly,

00:54:08--> 00:54:41

not just in the morning, the good thing to this could be added to our list of things in the morning, we make certain draws to our, to our for our children, to our for our spouses. Right. And we find a lot describing profits zecharia as making draft for his offspring, rub the Hubley mill don't return tayyiba in a casa mirror.

00:54:42--> 00:54:53

Oh my Lord, grant me from yourself a good offspring. You are indeed all here. Our invocation are up.

00:54:55--> 00:54:58

And then a lot goes on to describe

00:54:59--> 00:54:59

Zachary

00:55:00--> 00:55:03

Son yahia Prophet yahia

00:55:04--> 00:55:05

saying,

00:55:06--> 00:55:24

Bohannon mill the middle of done was the captain Wakanda Tapia, Oberon de vida de la mia con job, Baron asiya. I made him and I says, compassionate.

00:55:25--> 00:55:45

Allah made the offspring of Prophet Zakaria compassionate and pure from sins, and he was righteous and dutiful towards his parents, he was neither arrogant, nor disobedient. This is a law answering the prayer of zecharia.

00:55:46--> 00:55:52

giving him the type of child that he made to ask for.

00:55:53--> 00:55:54

So

00:55:55--> 00:56:06

it is a practice that we should utilize the DA, sometimes described as the weapon of the believer

00:56:07--> 00:56:21

against evil. That should be of course, a sincere da. Because Prophet Muhammad Salah had said when we make do, we should do so

00:56:22--> 00:56:27

believing that Allah will answer our da, as I

00:56:28--> 00:56:38

said, water allow and to move to notability Java wylam. And along the lines that you will do I'm often in law,

00:56:39--> 00:56:52

call on a law, being certain that your prayers will be answered. But know that the law does not answer the prayers have a negligent and playful heart.

00:56:53--> 00:56:56

Meaning that the kind of drama

00:56:57--> 00:57:00

which ends up in

00:57:01--> 00:57:14

congregation many times, most times in different places where the mom will make law. And the people are just saying IV, Nami, Nami, Nami, Nami, they don't know what he's saying.

00:57:16--> 00:57:19

These are mean to the DA has no value.

00:57:21--> 00:57:22

You don't know what they

00:57:23--> 00:57:24

are, do us.

00:57:26--> 00:57:28

So this is just a ritual.

00:57:30--> 00:57:36

Or Similarly, one may memorize a da. So you make in the y you check in your watch at the same time and

00:57:39--> 00:57:39

such.

00:57:42--> 00:57:50

Again, useless, it's just a ritual. So the art should be made with sincere intention.

00:57:52--> 00:57:59

The degree of sincerity will determine the degree of

00:58:00--> 00:58:04

it being answered by a lost man. That's the bottom line.

00:58:05--> 00:58:09

Allah as promised, through His messenger that he will answer.

00:58:11--> 00:58:14

But of course, we should know on one hand,

00:58:15--> 00:58:16

that

00:58:19--> 00:58:26

if we make the DA, but we don't fulfill the conditions for acceptable

00:58:27--> 00:58:33

then no matter how sincere you are with that law, it's not gonna get answered.

00:58:35--> 00:58:43

That's the bottom line. Though the promises there without fulfilling those conditions.

00:58:44--> 00:59:10

It won't be answered. So I will Herrera he quoted the prophet SAW Solomon say all people, indeed a law is good and pure, and he only accepts what is good and pure. Indeed, Allah has commanded the believers to do what he commanded the messengers. And then he quoted the verse from Swami known Yahoo or Russell kulu, Mina,

00:59:13--> 00:59:47

warumungu, vermelho saleha, in the magatama, Luna Ali, or messengers, eat from the good things and do righteous deeds. Indeed, I'm well acquainted with whatever you do, and this eat here you should know, it doesn't just mean literally eat, because the word eats, in Arabic, means consumed also we can find verse in the Quran where Allah says, Allah Taku Anwar Allah combined,

00:59:49--> 00:59:58

don't eat your wealth amongst yourselves in falsehood. So this eat here means

00:59:59--> 00:59:59

consumers

01:00:01--> 01:00:03

So we made this

01:00:06--> 01:00:08

statement last month and it says

01:00:09--> 01:00:16

it means the use of our things as well as the food that we eat. And then the profit side salad

01:00:18--> 01:00:19

also quoted from

01:00:20--> 01:00:22

Dina Ave kulu, Minh

01:00:25--> 01:00:26

wash guru Linda

01:00:28--> 01:00:38

boon, or you believe it from the good things again consumed the good things that I have provided you. And then he went on to

01:00:40--> 01:00:46

describe the condition of one who make sincere

01:00:48--> 01:00:49

but it's not answered.

01:00:50--> 01:00:51

He said

01:00:52--> 01:01:01

like a man on a journey. And we know that one of the times with special times for blue eyes when you're on the journey

01:01:03--> 01:01:04

so whilst we are here

01:01:06--> 01:01:16

with the camera, with Kamala journeys, the journey, we can shorten our prayers, join them, we are on a journey. So this is a special time.

01:01:18--> 01:01:25

Also, after our prayers, morning, evening, whatever, at night to make

01:01:26--> 01:01:27

each person on the journeys

01:01:28--> 01:01:29

is heard.

01:01:30--> 01:01:32

So he is on a long journey.

01:01:34--> 01:01:41

His hair was disheveled and dusty. A journey, which is a tiring journey.

01:01:42--> 01:01:44

It's worn him out.

01:01:45--> 01:01:54

So that his hair is dusty, clothes dusty. And he raises his hands again, these are the special times raise your hand

01:01:56--> 01:01:57

raising hands.

01:01:58--> 01:01:59

And

01:02:00--> 01:02:05

he say, oh my lord, oh, my Lord is calling on Allah.

01:02:07--> 01:02:09

Everything's right.

01:02:10--> 01:02:13

But his place of eating was Haram.

01:02:16--> 01:02:17

He was

01:02:18--> 01:02:19

eating from Riba.

01:02:21--> 01:02:32

His place of drinking was Haram. His clothing was hot. He was fed with Haram, how could his prayers be answered as a result of that?

01:02:35--> 01:02:43

So in spite of the sincerity of his drama, because he was living on Iran, is,

01:02:44--> 01:02:46

was rejected.

01:02:48--> 01:03:02

So very important, that we keep in mind, while being sincere, we're not doing anything which is going to block our doors from being accepted. Then again, we also should know that

01:03:04--> 01:03:09

as some people say, to me, you know, I've been making the art for the last year and it's like a loss of material.

01:03:11--> 01:03:15

Why, because what I was making to offer didn't happen,

01:03:16--> 01:03:16

but

01:03:18--> 01:03:35

the answering of the dryer may not be giving you what you asked for. Because what you asked for may not be good for you. A lot tells us I saw and to hibou shade and shadow, perhaps you may love something which is bad for you.

01:03:37--> 01:03:41

So Allah will not give you what will harm you.

01:03:43--> 01:03:44

So you made your dua.

01:03:46--> 01:03:48

Allah still answers that door because

01:03:50--> 01:03:53

he will save that you are either

01:03:54--> 01:04:15

removing and blocking from you harm that would have come be equivalent to the data that you were making, or saving it for you on the Day of Judgment, where it is added to your scale of goodies. So the data is answered, but not necessarily answered the way you wanted it the way you expected it.

01:04:18--> 01:04:30

So we should be confident as the promises told us common law, being certain that along with answer your prayers

01:04:31--> 01:04:38

with without that certainty. Then our Diwan is ritual, insincere,

01:04:39--> 01:04:40

playful

01:04:42--> 01:04:44

and won't be answered.

01:04:46--> 01:04:49

And of course, we do need to keep in mind

01:04:52--> 01:04:54

the well known statement of the Prophet is

01:04:55--> 01:04:59

that the only thing that can change others

01:05:01--> 01:05:01

Is

01:05:03--> 01:05:11

that is how powerful two is the only thing that can change other

01:05:12--> 01:05:12

is

01:05:16--> 01:05:20

and we make the two are in

01:05:21--> 01:05:24

pollute, well, can he

01:05:26--> 01:05:34

protect me or law protect me from the evil that you have tested for me.

01:05:38--> 01:05:44

Now some people may have a little bit of difficulty understanding how it is that

01:05:45--> 01:05:47

can change other

01:05:50--> 01:06:08

and some people may think that it doesn't really make any difference whether you make do our or not because it's already written in the law of karma fouth proverbs of Solomon said that 50,000 years before the creation of the world,

01:06:09--> 01:06:11

a law created the

01:06:13--> 01:06:20

writing instrument, and he told it to write, and it asked on law, what should it right.

01:06:21--> 01:06:25

And the law told it to write everything that was, and would be

01:06:27--> 01:06:37

everything that existed and would come into existence, everything written, that we call allow, Allah fools.

01:06:39--> 01:06:41

And no, Allah

01:06:42--> 01:06:44

is mentioned in different verses in

01:06:46--> 01:06:56

the protected tablet in which all things are written. So whether you make the job, or you don't make the law, it's already written,

01:06:57--> 01:07:02

whether you will get the answer or not gets already written. So why bother?

01:07:03--> 01:07:11

You know, some people have this fitna of thought, which prevents them from making.

01:07:14--> 01:07:16

They can't get into the job.

01:07:18--> 01:07:23

They can't make and do off, which is really from their heart.

01:07:24--> 01:07:29

Because in their mind, in their reasoning, and their logic,

01:07:31--> 01:07:32

they have this doubt.

01:07:34--> 01:07:37

It's already wait. So what's the point?

01:07:39--> 01:07:40

The point is,

01:07:41--> 01:07:43

that what's written,

01:07:45--> 01:07:47

if it's written that you didn't make,

01:07:49--> 01:07:49

you wouldn't make

01:07:52--> 01:07:55

it is because of the choice that you made.

01:07:57--> 01:08:02

It's not that a law wrote, you would not make it too hard. And so you can't make

01:08:04--> 01:08:07

It's not like that. That's not how the other is

01:08:09--> 01:08:12

what is written is what you decide.

01:08:15--> 01:08:24

This is the proper understanding of other the other way, we become like puppets, allies pulling the strings.

01:08:25--> 01:08:26

This is not

01:08:27--> 01:08:33

the understanding of other correct understanding is that other

01:08:35--> 01:08:39

is the writing of our choices.

01:08:40--> 01:08:45

Also the writing of a laws choices,

01:08:46--> 01:09:01

putting certain things in front of you making certain things available to you, which you can't determine. I mean, from we think, just from coming into this world, did we choose the womb that we would be born from?

01:09:06--> 01:09:08

Right? Nobody chose.

01:09:09--> 01:09:09

That's

01:09:11--> 01:09:22

a lot chose for us. Each and every one of us the womb in which we would grow and be born from this is completely out of our control.

01:09:24--> 01:09:44

Now, once we reach a point of being able to make decisions, then we have control in terms of the decisions that we make the intention now, even though we make decisions, it doesn't necessarily mean that that decision will come true.

01:09:45--> 01:09:52

How many times have we intended to do things and we couldn't do it? Because the means isn't there.

01:09:53--> 01:09:59

So that's why the prophet SAW Solomon said in the law man, Binya de

01:10:00--> 01:10:03

Kids are judged according to their intentions.

01:10:05--> 01:10:22

So, if you had the intention to do a good deed, but a lot did not put the means for you to implement that good deed, you still get the reward of intending to do the good deed.

01:10:25--> 01:10:26

Important point.

01:10:29--> 01:10:33

The other point now, when we look at, to

01:10:34--> 01:10:36

change in other

01:10:39--> 01:10:42

what this refers to is,

01:10:43--> 01:10:50

in our lives, when we make a decision, we end up going down a path.

01:10:52--> 01:10:57

If we made another decision would have gone down another path.

01:11:00--> 01:11:12

Alon knows both the path we're going down, and the path we would have gone down, if we had made that those decisions.

01:11:13--> 01:11:14

So the two are

01:11:16--> 01:11:26

shifts us from path to path, we make the drop, then we head on down a particular path, we didn't make the drop, we're going on down this other path.

01:11:28--> 01:11:34

And what is written is whether we made the draw, or we didn't make the draw.

01:11:37--> 01:11:41

So we should never think that this

01:11:42--> 01:11:50

doesn't make any difference whether you do it or you don't do it. Otherwise, think about it. Why would a law tell us to make

01:11:52--> 01:11:53

if it's useless?

01:11:54--> 01:11:59

Why would the promise of asylum stressed was to make to ask sincerely, if it's useless.

01:12:01--> 01:12:13

So this should be our frame of mind how we look at and we should engage in sincere drop.

01:12:15--> 01:12:16

There's another drop,

01:12:17--> 01:12:31

which the prophet SAW Selim taught us, which we, as parents, husband and wife should be practicing. Though many people are not

01:12:32--> 01:12:33

that the law

01:12:35--> 01:12:41

is the law before having sexual relations.

01:12:42--> 01:12:55

Before making love husband and wife, the province taught us to do Bismillah Allahu magenic nasze dawn agenda shaytaan morrows a putana

01:12:58--> 01:12:59

this

01:13:01--> 01:13:02

business Bismillah

01:13:03--> 01:13:17

Allahu magenic ness shape on this walawe keep us away from shaytaan what gennep as shavon jen niboshi born and keep shape on

01:13:18--> 01:13:33

mimar is up Tara away from what you have given us of offspring, the offspring of our union that keep shade on away from that child.

01:13:37--> 01:13:41

And what we'd like you to do

01:13:42--> 01:13:44

now is to

01:13:45--> 01:13:46

form

01:13:47--> 01:13:50

groups. And

01:13:51--> 01:13:51

each group

01:13:53--> 01:14:03

is required. You have 10 minutes, or not sorry, 10 five minutes, five minutes to memorize this.

01:14:06--> 01:14:07

Right.

01:14:08--> 01:14:13

You'll get each group will get points based on

01:14:15--> 01:14:22

the number of people in the group we're able to make the drop without any mistakes

01:14:24--> 01:14:41

without stumbling and bumbling they just give us the drop. So what you can do you can repeat it along with me just to get familiar with it. Right then you're gonna form your group and do it Bismillah

01:14:43--> 01:14:45

everybody Bismillah

01:14:46--> 01:14:47

Allahu Allah.

01:14:49--> 01:14:51

God gentlemen nice shape on

01:14:55--> 01:14:57

what generally this shape on

01:14:59--> 01:14:59

my

01:15:00--> 01:15:00

What's up?

01:15:03--> 01:15:04

Again? Bismillah

01:15:06--> 01:15:07

Allahu Allah.

01:15:09--> 01:15:11

gentleness shaytaan

01:15:14--> 01:15:16

what Jen? Nabis shavon

01:15:18--> 01:15:20

Matos and

01:15:22--> 01:15:25

third time along with Bismillah

01:15:26--> 01:15:28

Allahu Allah.

01:15:29--> 01:15:31

genitive ness shavon

01:15:33--> 01:15:35

what jednym is shaped on

01:15:37--> 01:15:37

Mars.

01:15:40--> 01:15:40

Okay.

01:15:46--> 01:16:00

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