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Who are your Friends

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Bilal Dannoun

Channel: Bilal Dannoun

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Episode Transcript

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Andy

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Kaufman Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah he was early he was Sofia Germain and welcome to Ramadan dates. Allah subhanho wa Taala created us humans on this earth as social beings. And there is no way for us to sort of live our lives without having the social interaction having family around us and also having friends. With us today to discuss friends in Islam is my good friendship with other known how medical afikomen hamdulillah Bill aluminium thank you for the opportunity is like a luxury. We can't tend to live in this, you know, in this earth without having this social interactions, whether it's to do with family, and friends who sort of

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become bigger influences in some instances than our family themselves. What does our religion say about friendship? hamdulillahi rabbil Alameen wa sallahu wa salam Opelika ala Nabina Muhammad SubhanAllah. Your introduction reminds me of an Arab saying

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the US in laka limped I did homework. It may be that you have a brother that your mother did not give birth to Now many people have told me that we look alike. So that maybe Allah, Allah, Allah, God bless our friendship and make our friendship from amongst those who be under the shade of Allah subhanho wa Taala whereby we love each other for the sake of Allah Subhanallah without

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without a doubt, I mean, we are social human beings and we need to have companionship. I mean, let's look at let's go back and look at Jesus, Isa Ali, his Salam and his disciples, okay, his companions, these friends. Let's look at Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and his Sahaba his friends. Okay, let's look at Prophet use of Alayhi Salatu was Salam. And when he was a prophet Joseph when he was thrown into jail, okay, ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala had blessed him with a couple of people in there to keep him inshallah entertained and sane. And the last one, I'll call them your Sahiba usage. Yes, sir. Hey, V. Sydney, oh, you know, the two friends of the jail. So, companions are an important and

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integral part of life. But I guess the question is, your companions,

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bringing you up or taking you down? Because friends are like, lifts, okay, okay, there are those friends who will elevate you, and there are those friends who will bring you down. Okay. So it's really important now to be mindful of who your friends are. And hence, we have the the Arab saying and other Arab saying that says, godly man to Sahib, Aquila, come and tell me who you are befriending. And I will tell you who you are. And really,

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you only who you are associating with is a big reflection of who you truly are. And you're told me who your friends are. And I'll tell you, your future, as some other person said, because that really does dictate who you going to ultimately be. And even in the, in the, in the world of business. If you look at very successful people, entrepreneurs, you will see that they, the people around them usually are very business savvy. Likewise, if you look at religious people, you see that the people that they associate with quite religious, pious, righteous people. So without doubt,

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we all need friends. And it's part of who we are as human beings. But the question is, you know, what type of friends do we have? So this brings me to my next question, what is the Islamic criteria in terms of picking and choosing your friends, sometimes, you may grow up with people in particular suburb or a particular school and they sort of become your friends for life. Other times you actually have the opportunity to pick and choose who you want to be friend. What is the what's the Islamic criteria in terms of picking praise? Our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said La Mer, oh, and Dini clearly that a person is on the path or on the way or the lifestyle, okay, obvious

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buddy of his close companion, his mate, his mate, right. So, so it is important that we now we associate with people who are going to allow us to grow spiritually, in, in our emotional self in in every way possible. So, our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam gave a very beautiful analogy that is no secret to to the average Muslim. And he gave the analogy of the perfume cellar, and the blacksmith, spend time with the perfume

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himself. And he's either going to sell you some perfume or give you some perfume, or you're going to walk out of his perfumery smelling good smelling amazing, right? Or you spend time with a blacksmith and what's going to happen is you're going to burn your clothes or you're going with a smell, we look at that smell. So So you know, your friends play a massive role in here the prophesy Selim, in more than one Hadith is bringing to our attention, the importance of good companionship, good friendship, okay. And this is really the challenge for every Muslim, that to always be mindful and to be conscious of who their friends are. Because truly, without a doubt, your friends are going to

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be taking you this way or that way. And hence the Arab saying assignable Sattahip that your your friend has a pulling, pulling effect is gonna pull you this way or that way. So you really need to be mindful of who your friends are. Just because you grew up with those individuals, it doesn't mean that you know, it doesn't mean that you're going to have to remain with them as close buddies for the rest of your life, especially if they are people who are not going to allow you to meet your human need of growth, to grow in your Eman in your faith in your in other skills in your life. Subhanallah serve some some good definitions and advice from your social media. We'll go to a break

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and when we come back, we'll be speaking more about friendship in Islam.

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Andy, welcome back to Ramadan nights, I want to ask you about a specific instance where someone may have recently become practicing their religion. And they tend to have had some friends who have might have been quite bad in terms of the influence. So his group of friends is not very good. From an Islamic perspective.

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Is there any, you know, any situation where that person can say I want to stick and hold on to my friends because I want to give them power? Or should that person sort of isolate themselves from these people that have had a negative could have a negative influence on him. Without without doubt, if you have a friend who's on the dean, you know who's who's practicing their faith, this was a friend that you really want to hold on to. That's let's say that from the very outset, and as the saying goes, a friend in Dean is a friend indeed. Okay, nice. You've got all these nice nice saying, you know, friends are so important. They're very, very powerful in really shaping who you are. And,

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you know, at the end of the day, who we are, and what makes our identities is either your environment, your influences, or your experiences and your behavior. And so Subhanallah

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and yet we will have we will find Hamdulillah we ask Allah subhanaw taala to bless everybody with hidayah with guidance and Islam and Eman and Taqwa. Okay? And that when that kicks in, you're going to realize that there are people around you who don't share that vision. So the first thing that you want to do, Allah has blessed you with that invite them. Be a true friend, a true friend is somebody who's going to point out your faults or gently through okay, and you know, and hear Allah subhanho wa taala. He does mention in odo Illa Siberia Rebecca Bill Hekmati, while mo Eva till Hasina hekman wisdom and a goodly admonition, so there's a proper approach, there's a proper approach. So just

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because now ALLAH blessed me with guidance, and he chose me to become guided when hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen that he did, I'm not going to be selfish and just walk away from my friends and not try and exercise every single avenue I can to get them on board because I found something that is beautiful. And now my challenge as a true friend is to point out, okay, where this person is going wrong gently, and I love the analogy that our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam gave us when he said and you may know mirror to remote me. He said the believer is the mirror reflection, a reflection of another believer. Okay, so now let's think about the mirror for a moment. When when

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you stand in front of your mirror, okay, and your mirror is pointing

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Hang out your blemishes, your faults, your hat, it's probably stented your hijab, it's probably out of line. Do you get upset with your mirror? Of course, do you smash your mirror? Or if you turn it off? Aren't you grateful towards your mirror? Of course you are. And that's how you should be as a friend who points out your faults and your blemishes and things that need to be corrected. So do we leave these friends and we just walk away? I don't believe that's right. I don't believe in burning bridges. Don't burn your bridges. Keep a connection, even if it's a hair string, whereby there's that little bit of a connection where he's pulling, but you don't pull too much. And then you're

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pulling, but he doesn't pull too much. Keep that connection with them. Because you never know, if you break that connection. It's going to be very hard every time you see that person. So let the personnel look I'm now prac be honest, say look, I'm now following a certain protocol lifestyle. And in sha, Allah hooter, Allah, I've, I've just share your standards. Okay, I'm now following this lifestyle, it's nothing personal. It's just who I am now, as an individual, Subhan Allah, that's good, good word of advice. And I like how you said, Don't burn the bridges. But there are instances sometimes whereby your group, your crew, let's call them or your old buddies, let's say,

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maybe sort of pulling you back from your, from the day that Allah subhanaw taala has given you a negative and negatively influencing you. Do you think in that instance, one should sort of separate? And he's better off alone? What are your thoughts, I believe, look, if if they are bringing you down, and they are influencing you in a negative way, then uh, you need to, you need to politely respectfully, you know, move away. I don't believe in any environment that is toxic. I mean, you know, should be an environment that we're engaging in, that will not allow us to grow. But I guess it's that wisdom, it's how it's your approach. You know, that's, that's the most important Ness, the

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challenging part is the approach that you're going to take to move away without creating serious damage. Can you define for me what a good friend is?

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I believe there are three,

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three things to look out for, when it comes to a good friend, first of all, is to look for the team is to look at the journey. Are they are they an individual that's going to allow you to grow in your deen to allow you to become a better person? Okay, that's the first one the 18th in terms of their salah, they're going to remind you that even when you look at them Subhanallah they remind you of Allah has some you know, there are certain individuals you look at them and they remind you of faith, they remind you of your identity as a Muslim.

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So I think that the dean is very, very important. And, and secondly, that they have to have good manners and good character. Unfortunately, unfortunately, we have Muslims that may have Deen, they are practicing. But when it comes to their mannerisms, when it comes to the language, and the way they speak and conduct themselves, it's very honest lemic and manners play a massive role in Islam and a Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said In Namur booth to Leo Tamina. macadam, Allah, I have been commissioned to perfect good moral character. So I'd be looking for the dean, I'd be looking for the character of that person. And on that you've also found the opposite is also true. So there

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are people that have some really good conduct and character, but they actually like the Dean aspect as well. Absolutely. Well said. Yeah. So yes, you can have Dean but no character they can have character but no Dean, so we want them to work hand in hand. This is the ideal friend. And then they are a friend also. Who Allah Subhana Allah has blessed with some wisdom. This is the ideal friend like if we can find that friend, who Allah Subhana Allah has blessed them with hikma with wisdom that can offer you that guidance that can, you know, direct you in a way that is going to benefit your worldly life and benefit your hereafter. These are three characteristics that I believe the

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only we should be in sha Allah hooter I'll be looking for. But like you said before, the character is very important. And if you are careless with how you conduct yourself towards the people around you, then they are going to be there they are going to care less about you. So very, very important to always be mindful of your character, and SubhanAllah. When it comes to friendships, friendships play a massive role in shaping who we are and only how we are going to either

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Grow or stay the way we are. You know, you find our friends in this life, they assist us they are there they are there for us when we need them. They give us advice to help us out when we are in need and that's what a close friend does. But what's so amazing is that in Islam, the friend also has a relation to the afterlife. What can you tell us about this? Subhanallah you reminded me of a verse from the Quran, Allah subhanho wa Taala he speaks about the close friends and he let your your allele thought very tight knit friend, and actually let all your money then bow to whom they bow then I do. He said that Subhan Allah the first thing Allah mentions here, that those who are close

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friends on that day meaning the Day of Judgment are going to be enemies of one another. So that means most most close friends are going to be enemies on the day of judgment. He starts off with this. And he says what after the Illa talkin ill Muhtar clean except for those who have Taqwa who have piety, which is one of the greatest objectives of Ramadan to gain to gain piety and to gain that God consciousness. That Taqwa of Allah azza wa jal so, so therefore, the friend that you're looking for, to benefit your hereafter is a friend of Taqwa is a friend on the deen in sha Allah Huhtala. Who's going to allow you to grow in your spiritual intelligence in sha Allah Huhtala and

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there is another verse in the Quran and Allah subhanahu wa ala he says yo maya to value more Isla de that the oppressor the the one who oppressed himself the one who oppressed others, he's going to be biting on his two hands not just one two hands you know in regret regret you know, when you bought on your hands, it's like, you know, you're in that regret right? And remorse. Yo may outdoor volume or Isla de Jaco Lu later need to have trauma or razzoli sabina I wish I took with the messenger.

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His path, the path of the prophesy Selim, which is the Salah, and the cm and the soccer and all those beautiful things that Islam teaches us and the Prophet SAW Selim, you know, offered Islam, he says, On that day he goes, Yeah, later Anita has DOMA Hara su disabler. Yeah. Why Elijah? Well will be well be to me, later Neelam, a duck fallen and kalila. The only Subhanallah he will have, okay, is that I wish I didn't take such and such as a friend. They have misguided me. That's what the verse continues to say. So, we don't want to be entered in that regret mode on the day of judgment. And in order to do our future self a favor. When it comes to that moment, that day. That standing

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point is to ensure today, my friends are going to be those who will allow me to have taqwa, allow me to grow, allow me to be the best version of myself. And that's the ideal friend that we should always be asking Allah subhanaw taala for Subhan Allah and there is on the flip side, obviously there is a great reward and Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us that on the Day of Judgment, there are seven types of people who will receive the shade when there is no shade but the shade of Allah subhanaw taala and of course of these people is to people who love each other for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala they come together for that purpose and they separate for that purpose,

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no other worldly benefit, but they have the love for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala so ask Allah subhanaw taala to you know, I love you for the sake of Allah says We love. Thank you for being with us. Love you too. And thank you for watching. Until next time, Salaam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Andy