A Productive Family in Ramadan

Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah he was early he was Sophia Jemaine and welcome to Ramadan dates. The month of Ramadan is a month where we individually get closer to Allah subhanho wa Taala. We also find that it's a month where the community congregates and gets together in the masjid and Atif tours as well as panel we also find that it's a month where the family comes together with us today to discuss the topic of the family in the month of Ramadan. Is she a little known welcome. She's just a Camilla Hayden. She has a family and it is such an important unit in our religion. And the month of Ramadan is the month that

brings you know the family together. What's our responsibility towards our family in this month smilla al hamdu Lillah wa salatu salam O Allah Rasool Allah, Allah Allah, he was happy he he made. What comes to mind first is an instruction from Allah subhanho wa Taala, the one who mandated the fasting of Ramadan, Allah subhanho wa Taala addresses every believer, and he says, Yeah, are you held Edina?

He says, are you who have believed he says pool and full circle with a Halle comb. Now Ron wako Hannah, so will HR protect yourselves and your family from a fire? He's talking about the Hellfire here, may Allah protect us a loss of power data protect us. So here straightaway, we have the instruction, that we have a duty to protect not only ourselves, we protect ourselves first. But then we also have a duty to protect our family. Okay, from punishment of Hello, this is like an instruction from Allah subhanho wa Taala, telling us to look after ourselves and look after our families. But how does the believer in this day and age sort of strike the balance between his

individual worship and the spirituality of his family? Well, first of all, we have you said he and the individual. So we need to look after ourselves first, and you cannot pour out of an empty cup. So we need to ensure that we ourselves have having the courage the correct

faith, spiritual intelligence, if you like, you know, there's a lot of talk about, you know, IQ having an IQ or

emotional intelligence, ei or EQ. But what about our spiritual self, so we really need to first of all focus on ourselves and our Amen, and increasing that. And now Ramadan comes in, that allows us to now you need discipline ourselves, and to discipline our families. And we will see, for example, in the Sierra, in the in the life of Prophet Mohammed, Salim we know that, for example, towards the especially towards the most important part of Ramadan in the last 10 nights, when the prophet SAW Selim would, you know, tighten his waist belt, and he was about the worship, he would get serious about the worship, and what else would he wake up is when he was wake up his family, so he wasn't

selfish. So Ramadan isn't about just you, or Me, me, me, it's about, hey, let's get our family members engaged and involved. Okay, in this very spiritual and holy month, in the modern day that we live in this modern age that we live in, in this day and age, what are some advices that you may be able to give to families to engage, you know, one another, and each other, so they can be productive spiritually in a month? I think what we need to do is start off with the communication, there needs to be a plan. And I would say, especially before Ramadan, and leading into Ramadan, about what are the things that we are going to do this Ramadan to make it our best Ramadan as a family as a family

unit? So we begin by, for example, talking about Hey, who's waking us up for suhoor? We have we delegate in the family. So it's collective we delegate to maybe one of the children to set up their alarm clocks, we talk about the sword period, it's a Buttercup period, what are we going to do for Soho? What healthy meals? Are we going to have it? So what time? What are we going to do differently this Ramadan in terms of maybe our devices in our screen time, and how much of that are we going to replace with people time so replacing a lot of the screen time with people time within our family? So it's really important for them to be communication about presence within the family that the

Father is present that the mother is present? And we know that this is very, very important in Ramadan, I'm sure when you say present, it's not only physically it's also mentally and sort of being completely immersed with the family as well. Yes, there are benefits of both by the way. So there are benefits of being Of course, in

immersed and you know, present in all of yourself in your thoughts in your words and your communication. But even your physical presence means a lot to children. And it gives them a lot of security and safety. I know, for example, you know, my young son would say to, you know, my wife, when's Baba coming home? Right? When's that coming home? Yes. And then basically, I'd come home, but he doesn't, he just, he doesn't really even say much to me and do much with me still, he's still caught up with his maybe device or whatever is he's doing, but he's just happy to know that I'm there. He feels that security. But now if we can add to that, the communication, and we add to that,

you know, the, the, the motivation to, hey, let's read code, and let's understand core and let's do these things together. As a family, that's really important. So especially when it comes time to the, for example, the start time, at the start time, when it comes to breaking our fast, we know that there's something that's recommended at this time, which is don't do that. So now, now is the time for right. So why don't we actually ask one another in the family? Hey, what are you making? What are you making? Maybe the you know, you know, just learning about and then hey, I want to make for the things that you're making? Would you make some art for me as well.

So it's definitely you know, speaking of making art for one another this is this is a great thing that that can be done as a solo SOS and tells us that if you make the art for your brother than our last panel that will appoint an angel to make to out for you the same route for you as well. So there's definitely a lot of benefits in doing that inshallah. Jeff will go to a break and when we come back, we'll be speaking more about children in tomato tomahto.

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t. Ramadan nights. If you have children, as you said earlier in the episode, their responsibility on all of us. What are some of the things that can be done with children in the month of Ramadan so that we can encourage them, you know, encourage the spirituality. Of course our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said kulu Kumara in Baku, Luke homeschool on Andhra Yachty, he had the prophet SAW Selim gives us the analogy, that we are all shepherds responsible for our herd or a flock. So we have a duty of care. And we lost a pound on what Allah has appointed us to direct our children, to guide our children to what is best for their worldly life, and what is best for the hereafter. So

here, in the month of Ramadan, we need to be encouraging them number one to fast, especially if they are of an age of maturity, you know, the companions would encourage their children at a very tender age to be fasting. And if they become if they became somewhat unsettled. Okay, what would they do? That would either you know, get them to break their fast, we'll give them a toy actually just to strike up to occupy them. So we should be encouraged encouraging them into getting into fasting, and, and talking to them about the benefits of fasting. And we know that the benefits of fasting are amazing. I mean, we all know that the objective of fasting and this is something that we need to

instill in our children, that the objective of fasting as we know we're stuck, we're right to gain that piety, to gain that God consciousness. And so panela by fasting is about discipline really, I mean, the ultimate goal is to be a disciplined Muslim to be to be disciplined by virtue of taqwa. Right. So, you know, introducing to the children, this concept of taqwa and the unitive. Now, in Ramadan, be more alert, you need to be more aware of your actions. And what you are saying, Ramadan, my dear son, or my daughter is not just about refraining from food and drink. But it's about refraining from bad behavior. You need to be aware of your emotions, you need to be aware of your

interactions with the people. You need to understand my dear son, my dear daughter, that Ramadan is the month of the quarter and so we are going to be reciting more an Ramadan is a month of correcting things that went that need to be corrected. So So Pamela, interestingly, that we know for example, when it comes to solar, solar,

about that there are some serious statistics

out there that show that about maybe 30 40% of the Muslim Ummah pray five times a day. That's about one in three, one in four Muslims who pray. Interestingly, the statistics reveal that about 80 to 90% of the Muslim Ummah fast. So Ramadan is about that, you know, there is that awareness. And so, in the Ramadan people are more inclined to worshiping Allah subhanho wa Taala. So given that they are in this environment, why don't we turn this environment into correcting the things that need to be corrected, whilst the hearts are very tender, and there is this alertness and this consciousness so candlelight is also you find that the children are normally excited about the month of Ramadan,

there's a natural sense of excitement that they have. So it is a great opportunity to sort of use that time where the hearts are soft to actually rectify behavior and character as well and introduced to them the concept of sadaqa. in Ramadan, we know our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was very generous, he was as as generous as a strong wind that passes by that touches everybody. So we introduced to them, Hey, there are poor people, there are needy people, we have food, we have shelter, we have drink, we have maybe short hours of fasting, there are people, you know, who are going who are doing it a lot tougher than then we are doing it. So really making them

understand the reality of what's really happening around them. inshallah, that's really, really important to be really making that connection with, with the children, and especially for fathers, especially, because, you know, the mother is already caught up with a lot of things, whether she's preparing the meals, whether she's, you know, attending to young children. So the Father has a major role in in the in the household. And so Subhanallah one statistic that I came across is that with the absence of the Father, that there is a five times more risk probability of, of children becoming or entering into poverty, if he's not involved in the family's life, there's a three time likelihood

that they'll fail in school not do very well as a two times likelihood that it will impact their emotional and behavioral issues resorting to illicit things and, and crime and things like that. So why don't we as parents, this Ramadan show a lot of love, show a lot of care and compassion, make dua for them instead of cursing them in as we may have maybe have been doing but Allah forgive us throughout the other 11 months? Why don't we make dua for them? You know, there is a there is a mother every time every time one of her children does something wrong, she says May Allah subhanho wa Taala make you from amongst those who memorize the Quran every time they do something wrong,

right? And so pan Allah, Allah subhana wa Taala Lister with five children, all of them ended up memorizing the Quran. Allah Allah subhanaw taala answered her. Absolutely, she was quite clever in trying to use the opportunity where the kids may be running sort of running amok, as they say or misbehaving. She wasn't sort of she used her Islamic principles to actually use the opportunity to make proper platforms upon making for our children and Ramadan, to become outstanding Muslims. So there are three contributors that will make these children remarkable. What are they? Number one is their environment? Okay? Okay. And environment is a lot of is a host of things, you know, be it, the

family environment, be at the school, be at the community, be at the masjid, all of these are contributors. So the environment number two is their influences. You know, their influences, you know, tell me who your friends are and who you are. That's right. That's right. So their influences? Who are they spending time with? Who are their friends? Okay, that that shapes their identity. And thirdly, their experiences that they going through in life, are they positive ones, are they ones that really nurture their Eman and their identity as a Muslim? These are three areas that we really need to stay focused on environment, influences, experiences, you know, send them to the masjid send

them to teachers, send them to amazing people that will help them shape their identities. We often find that the women in our household our mothers, our wives, our sisters, they become quite overburdened in the month of Ramadan, preparing for the fires probably inviting family over and they don't get much time, you know, in terms of their spirituality to do that has got to do therefore Antikythera we that they may want to be doing what's your advice for the family unit in terms of planning for this? Well, you

said the word planning. And as the the old adage goes, if you fail to plan you plan to fail. So I think there needs to be that coordination in that planning before I'm upon between the husband and between the wife and maybe also between the the the old the children, within the family and about delegation. So that that said, everybody has that opportunity to worship Allah subhanho wa Taala. And not once again, not being selfish. No family member should be selfish in Ramadan, but should be considerate, should be selfless. And a prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam made it very clear, when he said, you know, none of you are true believers, until you love for your brother for others, which

you love for yourself. So here when it comes to the wife, one of the biggest challenges that we we often hear and read about is that the wife is overburdened with the cooking, you know, and so Pamela Ramadan was never ever meant to be about food, and having these big fees. That's right. And it's, it's, it's, it's the month of fast for the month of the feast, the feast comes after Ramadan. Subhan Allah, absolutely, I love that month, the month of fast not the month of feast. And, and, and, and I think this is where we need to be, you know, very, very careful and really ensure that maybe that the wife should really have that conversation with the husband, of course, with the spice of love,

and sha Allah and, and just really talking about, you know how, look, if I'm worshiping Allah Subhana Allah and the Ramadan, maybe Allah subhanho wa Taala put more Baraka in your wealth, my dear husband, it may be less apparent that Allah will bless our household more, you know, yes, there's your there's also my do I And so again, let's go back to basics. What did our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam say, when it comes to filling the stomach? He said, a third for the food and a third for the drink and a third, you know, for the air. Right? Where is that? You know, now we want to feel the whole thing with food and then try and find space for water and space for the air and

the sweets and what comes with it? Look, I think, you know, maybe, maybe just, you know, again, going back to that communication, that compromise, setting those boundaries in childhood to highlight and what we do say to the sisters, who cannot win over those demanding husbands. Okay, let's say that is the case, right? We say to her take advantage of that time by listening to her and while you're cooking by listening to the lectures, I know personally, sometimes I might be caught up doing something at home. I there are many beautiful radio stations, YouTube stations, you can listen to lectures, make Vicar make Vicar of Allah azza wa jal. So here when we look at when we look at the

page of fasting, in Surah tillbaka, those three verses the fundamental verses about fasting from verse 183, to verse 186, what is Allah subhanho wa Taala mentions, he mentioned taqwa he mentioned Cora. And he mentioned Vicar. When he took me to a data Valley to kabiru, Allah, Allah Hadouken Vicar, he mentioned, he mentioned all of those things. So it's not just the fasting, it's all of those things that a woman can also do at prioritize, and Sharla. And maybe take advantage of those times. The morning time with a burqa is so you She might not be able to get away with much in the day because of the demanding husband or the demanding children. But she prioritizes and she takes

advantage of the Baraka time, which is the morning time, and there is no doubt that any effort that the mother or the wife puts in for the family preparation for the family is in itself an act of worship, that you'll be rewarded for inshallah, and I think sometimes the advice that I normally give is for the husbands to sort of reduce expectation, instead of having these expectations of multiple varieties on the table, if you reduce the expectations, then that would allow the wife to actually have a little bit more time rightly said and, and, and that those expectations, we have to understand something, where are they coming from? They're coming from familiarity. They're coming

from what they're familiar with, from how they grew up. And I think what we need to do this Ramadan in sha Allah is make a lot of the unfamiliar. Make a lot of the, the sorry, the familiar, unfamiliar, and make a lot of the unfamiliar, familiar. Yes, so those negative things let's make a month familiar. They're not really doing as much good and and those things that we should be doing, let's make them familiar. I want to touch on the mosque, the message for the family. I mean, it's it's often that you find the families go out for the solid of turabian Asia, that's quite a regular practice that people do. How does one balance between, for example, children that are unsettled,

taken to the masjid, praying at home, what's what's your advice in this regard for the family, but with regards to the message, of course, the message of the most beloved places to Allah subhanaw taala and it's the

best place for families to pray their prayers, but this is not practical for everybody. Okay? So in this case, we understand that Dada we have for example the night prayers and not limited to the masjid. They're not limited to the masjid actually the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when it came when it came to the toddler with themselves, he only did three or three nights but then later he had a fear that there'll become compulsory later on.

He reintroduced the Torah with prayer in German in the message Okay. Now but but but the prophet SAW Selim said man karma Ramadan amen Almighty sahasranama Takata means me that whoever stands up in night president Ramadan, now it's not limited to, to the masjid no doubt the masjid has a great reward. And if you are able to, that's the best place for you to be and you're not going to get a greater high and pump. Then you are going to then you're going to get in the midst of but but therefore, we should if we cannot make it to the masjid, we should have a regular you know, pm prayer at home and even if the husband does go out to the masjid and he feels like his family didn't

get that opportunity to still he can come back and lead the prayer and be the man and be the man of his heart. Beautiful advice just

been wonderful speaking to you about the importance of family and some great words of advice. And I thank you for watching Ramadan nights until next time, Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh