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10 Tips to Control Your Anger

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Bilal Dannoun

Channel: Bilal Dannoun

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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In the candelilla Hina Amador who want to stay in Ohio and stuff funeral when I was a biller him in surely and fusina were mean to Arma Lena and Jada. Hila who Fela Willa. Woman nucleophile ah ha de la wa shadow Allah Allah illallah wa hola Shari color wash shadow anna muhammadan Abdo Hora solo. Yeah, you're Latina. I'm an otaku. Hola haka Ducati well Tombow twin Illa and two Muslim moon, all praises to to Allah may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon the seal of the prophets and messengers, our beloved prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as to what follows my brothers, my sisters in Islam, in the Hadith that is found in Bukhari, a man approaches the Prophet sallallahu

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i Li he was selling them for some advice. And the prophetic response is just two words and these two words Subhanallah are so important for our day to day lives. In this hadith, the man came to him sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and he said, Oh, cine, give me advice. Advise me ya rasool Allah for calling the EBU sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Kalimantan

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don't become angry for that. Iran and he keep on this man kept on repeating his request for advice and Nabil sallallahu alayhi wa sallam kept on saying lub dub dub do not become angry In another Hadith another version of the Hadith that is found in Muslim Al Imam Muhammad, this man, he said for for kartu he said I thought about these words, for for go to Hina Powell and maybe you sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Aamir Khan for either laudable Yajima or Shahrukh Kulu. He said, I reflected upon these two words of the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasallam, not to become angry. And he said, pondering and reflecting upon these words, I realized that anger encompasses all evil, that anger

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encompasses all evil. So today in sha Allah hooter Isla, I want to speak about the importance of anger and controlling one's anger. But first, what is anger? Now anger is a natural part of the human being. And there is praiseworthy anger, which is anger, which is good sort of anger that we'll talk about, and there is a blameworthy type of anger. And so Subhan Allah, Allah azza wa jal, He tests us through this emotion of anger. And one of the merits in the blessings of Islam is that it ensures the dignity of the human being will occur the Kurama bunny Adam, the dignity of a human being, in how they behave as well, and how a human being is to remain dignified and composed,

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regardless of the external circumstances that may provoke him. So that way, we don't oppress ourselves, and we don't oppress others, and we don't do something that could lead to a very devastating result. So Islam dignifies a person from behaviors that will make you as a grown up look like a child, right, or that you engage in behaviors that have devastating consequences. Some behaviors during moments of hubbub and anger can transition a person from being an adult to being a child in their behavior, or from being sane to becoming insane, or from belief to disbelief many there are unfortunately some people during times of anger they commit words of kufr they say words

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that are on pleasing to Allah that can land them into cover, whether you have the biller into disbelief, or for example we find between the husband and the wife, you know, the husband becomes angry and he utters the word of divorce. So again, you become from married to becoming divorced and ruining and spoiling your relationship. But Allah blessed you with and spoiling your the outcome for your children and their future. Whether Hola, La Quwata illa biLlah. During moments of anger, if you don't know how to curb your anger, you can go from being friends to enemies from the people around you. Or if you're a businessman, and you don't know how to deal with different human beings, and you

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get angry so quickly your business can come can come down and and not be so thriving and fruitful. Or from being free to being incarcerated in jail because of something that you do in the moment of anger, or from being alive to doing something during a moment of anger. And that Subhanallah you end up being killed because of your anger. So Subhan Allah we see the evil consequences of anger on many different fronts. And so and hamdulillah Islam came to move us away from a victim from

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becoming a victim of our own anger. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he has alerted that yes, the anger is from the Shavon. But the question is, is all anger from the shape on? And the answer is no, only when it's unjustified. And most of the time, when the person is angry, he's angry for personal reasons, and not for the sake of Allah, or not for the sake of idle and for the sake of justice. So not all the anger is from the shape on now. There's two types of anger, the anger that is coming from the shape and so that you can commit injustice. And when this anger comes about, it consumes you and it blocks your ability from being sensible from being able to think through your

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mind and not your emotions, thinking through your rational side of the brain, and not from the emotional side of the brain. And it blocks your ability to have suburb and to have patience, and the best remedy one of the best remedies to remedy and to be able to be a very patient person and to be able to control your anger is to increase your Eman is to have high levels of faith and lots of acts of worship. There have been stories of individuals who converted to Islam, and they still the story about how before Islam there were very angry individuals and after Islam and prioritizing Allah and prioritizing the athlete of the Hereafter over the dunya they found themselves to be a lot more in

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control of their anger. And Allah azza wa jal he says in the Quran in Nauvoo, meaning the shape on in the hula lace Allahu Akbar known Allah Lavina Manu Wila behavior toward Kowloon that he for him there is no authority over those who have believed Eman and those who depend on Allah subhanahu wata island. So then there is the praiseworthy anger. That's the anger that is for the sake of Allah azza wa jal, and that's when the boundaries of Allah are violated and transgressed. And so the anger must be regulated. If you're going to get angry for the sake of Allah, there's still going to be boundaries that are set by Allah by the Quran and by the Sunnah. Let's give an example from the

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Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when one day he walks into the apartment of Aisha Radi Allahu Anhu. And he sees that I Isha has hung up a piece of material and it has pictures on it. And and Nabil sallallahu alayhi wa sallam His face changed, it changed in color, and he took it down and he ripped it apart and he tore it apart. This is anger that he got angry for the sake of Allah subhanahu wata isla. And so we need to be striving to have the qualities that will allow us to be more in control, more cautious, more prudent, when it comes to our anger. During the end of the life of the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in animal food when the when the delegations were coming

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to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and tribes were coming with the chiefs. There was a chief that came with with his followers to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and you can just imagine how you know everybody's excited to see the prophet of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And so there was so excited when they came, they violated the tradition that you know, first of all, the the Emir or the chief comes forward forward, he gives his Salam to the Prophet and then the rest of the followers come, but they were so excited, they left their chief behind, they just charged forward and they gave their greeting to the prophesy settler. So what did this man do? What is this

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chief do? He stayed behind? And he started just preparing himself to meet the Prophet SAW Selim, he said if I'm going to meet him, you know, I've been traveling my my clothes are dirty. I have a bad smell from the travel, but I want to meet the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in a good state. So he prepared himself and then finally he comes to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and he greets him. Right and then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says, in the fika Hustla tiny your Hebrew whom Allah that you have two traits, you have two characteristics, Allah loves them about you. And then he asked him what other he says, And when more well and he'll mobile Annette and

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Helen means that you have prudence that you have cautiousness you, you do things out of cautiousness, you know, that you also have this ability to put up with the things that are making you frustrated and there is deliberation that you you have this you know, long and careful consideration you think things through what to do best

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Before you take your action, this is what we want to have, we want to have a helium, and we want to have an ad. And you notice how he mentioned Helium 10, humans mentioned Annette, so there is an order if you have hilum if you take the precautions, then you will then insha Allah find yourself in the state of Anette, and so Subhanallah if you are angry, you're going to censor the ability to have hilum and to have this enter to have this forbearance Subhanallah we live in a day and age, it's very, very busy and so much opportunity. And with this busy lifestyle and not worshiping Allah, probably like the companions or the seller for sila used to worship Allah, that means that we are

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going to be on the higher end of the anger management spectrum. Right. And so the key is to prioritize Allah to prioritize Eman to prioritize worship, just by increasing your worship in your life. In your household, you will find yourself more patient you will find yourself Subhanallah having the ability to put up with more fast paced life less worship, too many notifications going off. This is really something that we need to control and be balanced with insha Allah Who to Allah in Surah to Ali Imran Allah subhanho wa Taala says we're lacking Kuno Rob Ben Yin, we're lacking Kuno Rabbani and meaning be people of God. Allah wants us to be people of Allah be people of God.

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One of them will first see rune, one of the commentators about Kunal Rob Benny Yun, when he's commentating, and he's saying, what does it look like? What does it mean to be Rob Benny Yun, he says two words he says Hula, hula, Hula, hula, meaning to be forbearance and to be knowledgeable, that one of the best ways to be or abahani is to have these patients this forbearance this cautiousness about you, and to have knowledge and to have a rhythm. And so Subhanallah it's very important that we ensure that in our family home, that we as parents are setting a good example of anger management of emotional intelligence when it comes to our children who are learning from us.

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And so there's a story about how a father realized about his son, and how his son has high anger, you know, Hi, my anger about him, he gets angry very quickly. He's always angry. So he wants to teach his son a lesson. And they live on a very big land like a farm. And so what does he do, he gives his he gives his son a, a box of nails and a hammer. And he says to him, every time you get angry, you need to walk to the end of the fence to the end of the property. And you need to nail this nail into the fence and Subhanallah in the first day he he nails about 38 nails. That's how angry this boy was. Now the punishment was the distance how far he had to walk to nail this. And so

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you can deliberate and think about this. And subhanAllah then the boy realized that this is too this is too taxing on the on the body this is too much. And so he by that by a few days later, it really started to come down. And then the father said to him for each day you were not angry you take out a nail. And then by the time there were no nails, the father walked with his son, they walked to the end of the of the property and they looked at the fence and there's no nails and he said what do you see here? He said there's no nails because but what else do you see? He said I can see holes. And he said you see your anger? Look what you know, yes, you've done the damage. You know, yes, you've

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taken away you've repented, you've done your Tober but the hole is still there. The holes are still there. So Allah can forgive you. But people don't forgive people, not Allah. Allah can forgive but the people may not forgive you and the you may leave damage in their hearts in their minds forever. So this is something that we need to think about. And especially when it comes to parents in our household. There are children that are so traumatized by their parents, that they blame the dean, they blame the religion. We are ambassadors, we are all ambassadors of Islam as parents, and we need to ensure that we are setting the right sending the right message to our children. So they fall in

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love with the Quran and with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam a hula Kohli Heather was the hula hula of Emily welcome First off euro in Nahu Allah

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Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa Keba 13 wala or Diwan Illa Allah volume in what I shall do Allah Allah illallah wa hula sharika lahu eyeshadow ana Muhammadan Abdullah who Rasulo my brothers and my sisters in Islam, Islam

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and offers us a road map out of anger. And I just want to very quickly share with you 10 tips to help you manage your anger. Number one, seek knowledge and obsess over the best practices to overcome anger. You know, what are the hadith is out there? What are the eight out there? What are the pearls of wisdom and the quotes out there that will help us always envision these words of wisdom to help us control our anger. For example, in the Hadith, we know that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said in a malarial movie titled No more enamel film will be Hello. We're meant to hurl Hydra Europa, we're Manyata waka Shara you. He said that knowledge comes about through

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learning. You want to be knowledgeable you need to go and learn how to invest your time and money. And hilum which is that beautiful characteristic in that Chief. Forbearance comes by cultivating forbearance, that the more you are intentional and conscious about being a forbearance person, you will become a forbearance person and whoever aims for good they're going to receive good when you intend good and you will sincerity and when you seek to evade the evil keep away from the shadows and the evil you will be protected from it. And so let's get in sha Allah Huhtala learning and two of the greatest resources in the English language that I recommend is one book by Chef Mohammed

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Salah al mana Jade facula Who Astra who correcting people's mistakes, correcting people's mistakes, the prophetic methodology so this is very recommended to read another very recent book that helps you with your emotions that help you understand emotions, it through the framework of the Quran. And the Sunnah is a book with the heart in mind, the moral and emotional intelligence of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam by Chef mica ill Smith, and you can even find reviews and some commentary about this book on YouTube. So no, my dear brother and this sister in islam al J, he knew I don't want FC. When you have Jehovah, when you have ignorance, you become your own enemy. You become your

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enemy when you don't know how to control your anger. So read about the virtues of controlling your anger and how the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would do that. And this is from the qualities of the people that are going to Jannah as we read in sorted Elia Emraan Allah azza wa jal, he says I Lavina you and Fiona if you survive, well, Kelly mean alive? Well, I Athena and the nurse will love who your husband works in in when he's talking about those who will be entering Jannah and some of their most beautiful qualities. He says, Those who spend in the Cause of Allah during ease and during hardship, and who restrain their anger will kill the mean and hide restraining the anger and

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pardoning the people. And so you need to pardon the people pick your battles you don't need to fight every single battle Subhan Allah so in sample it, we read that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said that the man who is a is a is not a good wrestler, the strong man is in fact the person who controls himself at the time of anger. But the true strength is not the strength of being able to wrestle your opponent to the ground, but it's to be able to control your anger. And in Sunon, IB, there would and Nabil sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said, I guarantee a house a mansion in the surroundings of paradise of Jana, for a man who avoids quarreling, even if he's in the right

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Subhanallah you avoid the quarrel in the argumentation even if you are in the right. So the true believer the Ideal Muslim, when a moment of anger comes in, you're disputing with someone you walk away looking at Jana and you looking at the reward in the same way that you would walk away from someone who's holding a gun towards you. You wouldn't fight that person, you would look at the ramifications. That reverse psychology of this is to look at the merits of walking away and what you will achieve in sha Allah Who to Allah number two, our author bIllahi min ash shaytani R Rajim and Nabil sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when he saw two men arguing in his presence, any one of these men

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his face Subhanallah went red and his veins were swelling and he said in Nila Allah mu Kalamata and lo Allah Leatherhead banhammer yeah Jade lo Carla Oh, it will be law he made a shape on your regime, saying are illegitimate regime he said, this will take away the anger. So this is something to remember because if anger hijacks your rationale, then shape on has one and is putting you at a distance and in a in a very dangerous place. Number three, keep silent, and the BU sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and Musa delirium and we also read in a double move Freud. He said either how

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Leber how to comfort your squad. That one one of you becomes angry who should remain silent and insulted out off when Allah subhanho wa Taala mentions the story of Musa alayhis salaam to wa Salaam. He says when the mess Socrata and Musa Mohammed Abu Hassan Allah. When when the anger subsided from Musa he was in an angry state. Before he took action to take up the tablets. He He was silent. And then he took the action number four is to walk away when you are angry, walk away concerning this hadith love these two words. Imam was shabby one of the great jurists of the tabby own. He said, Let don't become angry means two things. Number one, don't act upon your anger. Don't

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act upon your anger and number two, if you can't control your anger, then walk away so you don't end up acting upon it. A man once came to Abu Bakr Siddiq Radi Allahu Anhu Allah and He said to him let us to burn Naka sub burn yet Hello Maka carbrook that I am going to curse you in such a way that will enter your grave Yeah, and I'm going to humiliate you. I'm going to ruin your reputation in a way that's going to follow you until you die. What is Abu Bakr Siddiq Radi Allahu Anhu what Allah who say he said Belle yet Hello America. And when sawed off, he said it will enter with you and he just walked away. This young we learned from this insha Allah hooter, Allah, we learn that we need

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to maybe you know, you've heard of the saying, count to 100 when you are angry, why do they say count to 100 100, because at the moment of anger, at the moment of anger, what's going to happen is the first part of your brain which is the right side of your brain, the emotional side is going to kick in and it's going to release adrenaline, which will flood your body, and then it takes it about 90 seconds the studies have shown for the adrenaline to come out of your body and then the rational side of your brain, the left side of your brain now you can start to deliberate and talk and ask questions. And hence when we look at this hadith of walking away of remaining silent, this gives us

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time to help us manage that anger. Number five, if you're standing sit down. If you're if you're sitting lie down in Sunan ABI Dawood and Nabil sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said, If one of you is angry while standing, let him sit down. And if his anger doesn't go away, then let him lie down or Buddha, one of the Sahaba one of the companions, he was once talking to a person and the people around him he saw as he was sitting down, he just lie down. And they said to him, why did you do that? He said, I, I became angry. I was I became angry. I wanted to implement the words of the Prophet SAW Salem and to decrease my anger. Number six, always be intentional and deliberate about

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being a gentle human being and Nabil sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in Sahih Muslim, he said in the risk of lair Kunal fishy, Ill azana Walla, walla newsy, I'm in shade in elation, that verily gentleness is not found in anything but that it beautifies it to say when you apply gentleness to anything, it beautifies the situation and when it is removed, when you're not gentle, it disgraces the situation number seven, be forgiving, be forgiving as Allah subhanho wa Taala he says, well, Lavina you ha buena cabeza, Iran if mi wylfa he shall wear either male howdy boo, hoo. Muirfield, homeopathy rune and those who avoid the major sins and in moralities, and when they are angry, they

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forgive so Allah acknowledges here that the believer can get angry but one of the best qualities is to be forgiving. Number eight, exercise your patience and Nabil sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in Buhari, he said, We're men Yatta sub bar you subdural hula, that summer is an exercise, like you exercise your body for nice, healthy, strong body in sha Allah Huhtala you exercise these behaviors, you do them over and over again and you think about them in sha Allah Who to Allah so you can develop them. And number nine is to make dua, especially the morning in the evening as car they're there, they must meet you must make it your must. Because that's going to help you but when you

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leave your home, when you leave your home, make sure that you don't oppress not only others, but you don't oppress yourself through your hubbub and that's why an Nabil sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he told us to say when we leave our homes Bismillah he Tawakkol to Allah Allah Allahu Allah in me are all Vika and Avila as a result of Lima overland edge Hello a huge Hello LA. Oh Allah I seek Your protection from going astray or leading others astray from slip

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Being or letting others slip from being oppressed or oppressing others and from acting ignorantly or others acting ignorantly against me towards me. And in Sunon in necessity we read the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam from his dua he would say Allahumma WA, Alka Hashem

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Philippi AB was shahada, Alka Kelly Michael Hochtief, your revival hub, that he's asking Allah for the word of truth in times of happiness, and in times of anger and number 10 And the last one here is repelled the negative with us and with better any negativity that comes your way you need to repel it with what is best Allah azza wa jal says, well, the tester will have center to well as say, infallibility here as sin for either Lavie Bay nakawa Boehner, who are there where tone can know who will even harm him, he says, Good and Evil cannot be equal, repelled the evil by that deed which is better, and there upon the one whom between you and him is enmity will become as if you are devoted

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friends Subhanallah if this is how we are to be with our enemies, with our enemies, what then of our brothers, our sisters, our spouse, our family members, our devoted friends, so we need to apply us and in the scholars, they said, if you're not getting the desired good outcome, then you're not applying the best date you're not applying us. And finally, practice seeing yourself controlling your anger. Look at yourself in the future, implementing some of these many things that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has taught us and the book of Allah has taught us so that insha Allah when the moment of anger comes, you've already rehearsed and practice what you will do during the

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moment of anger in Allah Who am Allah yukata who uses Luna Island? Maybe you heard Lavina Manu Salalah, he was selling with Taslima Allahumma Salli. Ala Muhammad while earning Muhammad Kamal Italia Ibrahim Laila Ali Ibrahim in Nikka. Hamid and Majid Allahumma barik ala Muhammad wa ala early Mohammed Coronavirus Dahlia Brahim Laila Ali Ibrahim in Nica Hamid on Majid Allah haemophilia Muslim Anna well Muslim ad when what meaning Well, me not even human and what about bene Tina for dunya Hasina? Why Phil Asteraceae Sana Joaquina hada Banagher Allahu Medina. The Haqqani nativa Arenal belty La Bella Thielen What is it must you know but who you are but Al Amin Allahumma Ines Oh, Luca

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Jana Wilma, para la Hammond Colleen O'Hanlon, Allah Majid nemenhah na Allahumma Jimena na Allah Majid nemenhah na were su Darwin Anil hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa Salatu was Salam methodically