Ali Hammuda – Married Ever After #09 Principles 13 and 14
AI: Summary ©
The segment discusses five principles of Islam, including promises to make things easy for both husband and wife, the importance of avoiding false assumptions, and the importance of not giving false advice. The principles include promises to make things easy for both parties, the need to be aware of one's limits, and the importance of not giving false advice. The segment also touches on practical examples of taqwa, including a woman who felt deserted and raised her hand to Allah. The segment emphasizes the importance of being mindful of one's behavior and avoiding past mistakes, and provides examples of issues related to marital decay and relationships. The speakers also discuss issues related to anger and desire for being liked.AI: Transcript ©
Which batch of principles are we on now?
So that again
okay principle number 13 This is from which batch
That's right. Yeah. So this these are principles pertaining to when the marriage starts to rock.
Principle 13
This is where Allah subhanaw taala he says, in Surah, two talaaq chapter of the divorce. We're mania tequila Hydra Allah hoomin Emery he usara
whoever has duck wha of Hola, taqwa, conscious of Allah, mindful of Allah, Allah who will make matters easy for him.
And just from the translation of this Quranic principle, it's clear to you how effective a strategy it is for husband and wife. Because if Allah Jalla Jalla who is promising to make things easy for them, then what do they have to worry about?
Well mania tequila, Hydra Allah hoomin Emery he used to.
And what is interesting is that this is a promise from Allah Jen legit and who that is made in no less than five different places and Surah to Tanakh.
He promises five different prizes for those who have Taqwa in their marriages, in the chapter of divorce, so Allah who will say, Well mania tequila, Hydra Allah Who Maharaja whoever has Taqwa of Allah, He will provide for him a way out
while resume in high school, and he will provide for him for her from where they least expect to promises.
Then Allah Almighty He says Romania tequila Hydra Allah whom in Hungary he use raw, whoever has Taqwa of Allah, He will make matters. Easy for him. Promise number three from the same sort of divorce. Promises four and five. Allah Almighty says we're mania tequila, UK, Franco sejati. Whoever has Taqwa of Allah, your sins will be raised. Promise number five,
while you are going to love who you are, and Allah will amplify for him the reward? I'm asking you a question brothers. Why are there all of these promises and this emphasis of Taqwa consciousness of Allah, fear of Allah, mindfulness of Allah within the chapter of divorce? How come?
It's only a short Surah Surah to Tala, you know, how long is it? It's about two, two sides.
Yeah, this huge emphasis of being conscious of Allah mindful of his limits, how come?
Why not in sort of a diary? Why not in Surah Mulk. Why in the chapter of divorce
or what do you think
is needed?
Because it is probably when it is needed most.
When you are going through a turbulent situation with your spouse,
and you are going through divorce proceedings, or divorce is on the cards, or one party or the other is always threatening with divorce. What is needed most during that time, Taqwa of Allah subhanaw taala. When do people slip off the rails the most usually, when do they behave in the bold, boldest and most audacious and brazen of ways is usually when they are going through a procedure of Tada.
It's like recklessness just hones in and everything is justified.
So Allah gives five promises to the people of Taqwa in Surah two.
Taqwa by the way, I don't want to go through it because this is not the purpose of today's evening. What is taqwa? Which this principle is promising will bring about ease in your matters. There are many definitions some of the scholars have said it is unhelpful, menial jellied, the fear of Allah wa Alana to be Tenzin. Applying revelation in your life. What we call a bill Khalil being content with what comes your way when he started out doing the yoga Raheel and preparing for the day of departure.
Many people have given different definitions that was attributed to Ali Butare, but if you want to put them all together, the idea of Taqwa is about you being a good Muslim.
You apply the instructions of Islam as best you can. And you avoid the prohibitions of Islam as best you can. And you apologize and make amends to Allah Jalla Jalla Allahu when you fall short as best you can. You are there for a person who is modality, a person of taqwa, mindful of Allah, conscious of Allah. What is the principle here promising that we are studying
Whoever has Taqwa of Allah Jalla Jalla Allahu he will make matters easy for him.
Subhanallah
now you will ask me the question what are the dimensions of taqwa? What examples do we have of a couple who act upon Taqwa when their relationship begins to rock.
I'll give you a few practical examples.
Number one,
a couple who have Taqwa. When they go through a problem, they flee to sila as AQR.
When was the last time you did this, my brother and my sister in the face of your trauma, your ordeal, your disagreement with your spouse, you spread out their prayer mat, you said Allahu Akbar as if to say My Lord, I am placing the reigns of my problem with you. I don't know how to navigate the situation you take care of it for me, Will Allah Jalla Jalla Allah who laid down a person like that
Salah
and that is why how they February a man that will be Allahu Anhu he said can be used on Allahu alayhi wa sallam either has the other who Cameroon? Has yah Isla sada.
He said Whenever the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam was distressed by a matter what would he do?
Would he call upon his Sheikh call upon Angel Jibreel alayhi salam, when he gathered the Sahaba for consultation, I mural mean Abu Bakr, Omar Osman Ali, no. He said his very first port of call was salah, he would flee to Salah law.
And one of our brothers, who I know went through * and back in his marital life,
with respect to his spouse and with respect to his household as a whole. And the brother was asked, how did you deal with it? What did you do? What was your coping strategy, he pointed to the prayer mat on the floor, he said this.
This
spoke about the tears that were shed on that prayer
and supplication that was made to Allah from that point of prayer.
And the expression of beseech meant that he made to Allah from that prayer mat and Allah subhanaw taala amended his life in a wholesome way thereafter.
So the people of Taqwa they refer to Salah during their difficult moments and what is the promise? What is the outcome? Yeah, John level, mean Amory, he use raw Allah will make matters easy for the people of Taqwa. That's one example.
A second example is that a couple who have Taqwa, they raise their hands to Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah who in Doha and they complain to him before they complain to anyone else.
And here I remember
how long I've been to Salah Robbie Allahu Ana,
a female companion who was complaining to the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam with her husband house. Ibnu Sommet, the brother of Oba even assignment.
They had a Fallout, and she felt deserted. And she raised her hands to Allah. And she wept to her Lord, she complained of the marital difficulty he was going through. And then she went to the Prophet Muhammad Ali, he's allowed to sit down to see if he can give some advice as well. So Allah revealed a very famous area from the Quran which is it my brothers?
Exactly, or the semi Allah who called the let you to JD Luca fees OH GOD, ALLAH heard
the statement of the woman who was arguing with you Oh Prophet about her husband.
With a sticky eel Allah she was complaining to Allah. Allah who is now with the Howard Akuma and Allah heard your conversation in Allah has sent me on Haleem Allah is Hearing and knowing that Allah in Allah, Allah another Isha, she said Subhan Allah, the USCIS, Mo open Assad Praise be to the one who's hearing encompasses all sounds. She said, I was next to the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa salaam, off the same room where he was speaking to Hola. And I would hear some of what they would say and I would miss out on the other details. It was muffled but Allah Almighty had the details of the conversation from above seven heavens.
She complained to Allah Jalla Janelle who have her problem. And so Allah subhanho wa Taala revealed verses from Surah to mudra. Addressing her and addressing her likes, putting her out of her really putting her out of her misery, and putting many of our sisters out of their misery as well with these divine instructions. When was the last time you did that as if how, as a household of taqwa, you raise your hands to Allah and you complain to him. And may ug Winnemucca. Nevada What about he who responds to the distressed when he calls upon
Subhan Allah I remember the
story which has to be mentioned in his Tafseer pertaining to this, when a mural work meaning honorable Hapa many years after the death of the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam and the death of Abu Bakr
he has become Khalifa Ameerul Momineen Omar, and he's walking with his entourage his men around him. And all of a sudden an old Cena and woman stops Alma Radi Allahu Anhu in his tracks whilst he's on his horse.
And she begins to admonish him
when she says to him, Jamar, oh Ma, can you call Lula Callaway? Romania back in the days they used to call you on a small Omar? Some Latina Allah cow Omar then they started to call your Omar you became a man. So naughty that I can unmute meaning and now you have the title of leader of the believers for tequila Yahama so be fearful fearful Oh, Allah Omar, very nice woman are you kind of build multi heartfelt? Because the one who knows that death is real will fear
missing out on the opportunity of life? Woman, hon Hi Sal behalf Allah adab. And whoever knows that the reckoning is real, will be afraid of the punishment. She went on and on and on about lowering his head and listening to the words of this old woman without interrupting. Then she left.
And then the men they say to hammer you stop the entire army because of an old woman.
And Omar, he said if that woman spoke to me from the morning till the evening, I would not have interrupted her once only for Salah and I would have come back to listen to her. Do you know who this woman was? He said to his men. That is how Allah been to Allah who complained to Allah Almighty because of her husband and Allah heard her words. So Allah He has her words, and I should then cover my ears that are Ilaha illa Allah see the status that she was granted because of what? Because she raised her hands to Allah in dua when she was going through a marital discord. When was the last time you did that? Knocking on the door of an Kareem complaining sejarah deal with my trauma
Subhanallah
that is number two. A second example of what Taqwa looks like.
When difficulty rocks the house of a Muslim family and what is the outcome? The Promised price What is it brothers?
Yeah Joe I love him and I'm gonna he use surah Allah will make methods easy Promise of Allah subhana wa Tada.
A third example of what Taqwa looks like in a marital home
is that they do not engage in men with a shutdown the noon what is men?
How do we translate the men? Malik?
La
que filmen Nakajima Yoshi.
Slava.
Korea, GIF. Newtype, Jamil Mang.
Ullman
that's not the opposite of woman.
No, you're hungry. Ah, it's not almond Vasilyeva that's a food.
Yeah, although it has the same derivatives abama There's a reason why it was called elmen what they ate Benny's, right? Yeah. elmen means what?
I want.
Who told you? It is to remind someone of your favorite song.
And man is when you remind someone or your favorites upon them. I did this for you. And I did that for you remember what I gave you this and remember when I did that.
And if you would like to spoil a relationship very quickly, I advise you to use this ingredient and you will spoil your relationship. Call it friendship, call it work relationship, or call it the closest of them all marriage. A potent ingredient in spoiling relationships is this horrible ingredient and disgusting trait of a human being which is men reminding each other of why you have the upper hand.
And here the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would say as I said either it's in his son and he would say lie to Hulu Jana termina
Walla Walla, Mo Dimino hammerin
one who is manaan reminding people of His favours and one who is disobedient to mother and father and one who is addicted to alcohol will not intergender
and in another narration terrifying well life Aletheia to now you can live with whom Allah Who yarmulke Methuselah Jambu la him wala use a key he
Hola, hola. Le there are three categories of people whom Allah will not look at them on the Day of Judgment and he will not purify them.
And they will have a severe punishment. And the first of the three he said elmen,
the one who reminds people of his favorites. Now here I must add a caveat, a disclaimer, what we are referring to here as men, this major sin
is not so much somebody who finds himself compelled to remind of his favorites because his favorites are being denied. You're being told you've never done anything, you've never added any value to the relationship, you've done nothing, what have you done. And therefore you put in a situation where you have to remove this amnesia from this individual, and remind them of what you actually have done for them. That's not what we are speaking about. We're speaking about someone who
does good to others with the intention of using it as a weapon against them when they need it.
With the intention of having that leverage and that upper hand when they require it, or those who remind people of their favorites upon them, to demean them to belittle them. And as I'll call Toby Rahima hula, he said, the ones who behaved with these characteristics are either are usually one of two people.
But he, one who is a miser, penny pinching miser,
or either one who is motor capital, one who is conceited, arrogant.
They are the ones who usually do this the most. Why the miser because he's very attached to his wealth. And so what little he may give, it feels like he's given a lot, it hurt him. So he has to constantly remind you of what he had offered you because by his nature, he is attached to what he'd given you.
And it's also the trait of the one who is arrogant, who feels that I have favors upon you and therefore I am above you.
And these are lonely traits in the human being.
So people have taqwa, husband and why they don't behave like this when our terminal intersected Allah forbade this in the Quran. And when they do that, Allah says, Yeah, I love him and I'm gonna he use Allah will make matters easy for them. That is Example number what?
Number three. Example number four of what Taqwa could look like,
between husband and wife.
Is that they lower their gaze
La hawla wala Quwata illa Allah
Khalil me Nina who do mean I'm sorry him i Follow Follow Jehan Melissa, tell the believing men to lower their gaze and to protect their private parts that will be better for them. And in the eye after it. Allah gives the same instructions to women
who learn how the female they're harming another evil. No Illuminati mean monster scary. Shari. AbdulKareem he says
every calamity begins with a glance.
And most fires begin with a spark.
And when speaking about the gaze,
our minds instantly turn
to the * industry.
One of the vice presidents of one of the biggest * websites out there he says boasting Lee that we have about 11 petabytes worth of content. Do you know how much that is?
That's about 7000 years worth of filming.
And that has come into the household of the average child, let alone the average adult. And they say now the the average first exposure of * Watch out for your children, dear brothers and sisters is around the age of eight to nine years old. Imagine
in a study that was done in the year 2020 by the Journal of * research, they found that over 90% of men
and over 60% of women had consumed indecent content within the last month of that survey.
So that's your average churchgoer. That's your average friendly Masjid goer. That's your average colleague. There is nothing to suggest that they are not all victims of the same statistic.
It is mostly by Hannity.
And one of the studies that happened in the year 2002.
Were 350 divorce lawyers were interviewed 60% of them said that the divorce is we dealt with
* was achieved contributor in the breakdown of that relationship. 60%
all begins with this
So the people have talked about the lower their gaze. Why was your grandfather happily married and married ever after with your grandmother? Why? Well, my grandparents happy for the most part with their hurdles and their booms and their busts? How can
because your grandfather married your grandmother and he saw nobody bought your grandmother till the day he went into the grave.
What is the situation today? The average mobile phone the average child today, sees through his phone in one day, through his social media feed more content than what your grandfather may have seen, perhaps in his entire life.
Your grandfather own you saw your grandmother.
And today you can't help but see the anatomy of the opposite gender forced into your face, wherever you may turn. And this is causing problems. It is poisoning marriages.
And I'm not referring to simply this hard content.
Something as simple as social media as well. James Sexton, another divorce lawyer, he calls Facebook, an infidelity generating machine.
You know what he said when he was interviewed by Sean Ealing, he said, I cannot remember.
The last time I came across a divorce case where social media was not the direct cause.
Or was implicated one way or another. Then he said, it is always the exact same story unfolding again and again, grown adults, engaging in conversations with people whom they have no business speaking to.
And he said social media is poisoning marriages.
You see, but those husbands and wives who fear Allah who are legit, and they lower their gaze wala thermodyne nine aka Ileana Medina be as large Amin Hamza hotel hayati, dunya. If Tina houfy Allah has promised for them what the people of Taqwa he will make matters easy for them. Do we have to learn the hard way?
That's number one.
That's number four. I share with you a fifth example. But we'll elaborate a little bit more on this one.
The people of Taqwa husband and wife, they rush to make peace with Allah agenda, Julianne whoo hoo, and men their personal relationships with Elijah.
Because they recognize that what they do behind closed doors between them and Allah will translate positively or negatively with their relationships with people.
There is no such thing as a private sin.
There is no such thing as a sin that's only going to affect me.
Brothers Sisters will say this. I mean, this is my personal weakness. No one knows about it. I just got to deal with it overcome it myself. What does that have to do with my relationship with my kids? What does it have to do with my relationship with my spouse? No, it has everything to do with your relationship with your spouse. You have a positive secret between you and Allah, Allah will translate that virtue between in your relationship between you and your wife. Similarly, if you have a treacherous behavior between you and Allah, that will become manifest
in your relationships with people, there is no escaping that reality. Notice thing as a private sin that only affects me. Can father nonsense.
And I remember the words of
the 17th century, Dean of St. Paul's Cathedral. His name is Don Don. And he said no man is an island entire of itself.
Every man is a piece of the continent part of the whole. What does that mean? No man is an island entire of itself. No man is independent of the world around him. No, you are part of the whole you're part of the bigger jigsaw puzzle. What you do between yourself and Elijah ledger alone will have a knock on effect with your relationships with others.
And that is why the Prophet alayhi salatu salam he said in the Hadith, which is Buhari generates in his edible Morford on the authority of Anna signo Malik.
He said Ma Tao, death, he feel he will follow rock obey in Hoonah Illa be them being your Hadith who had
any two individuals who used to love each other for the sake of Allah. But then find themselves taking their separate paths is due to a sin that was committed by one of them.
Allah
any two individuals who used to love each other for the sake of Allah, they were like this then
find themselves drifting apart taking their separate separate paths.
It's because of a sin that was committed by one or the other.
So how can one say that they're really the sin is just my it's a personal one, it's not affecting anybody else it does.
Relationships cannot stand against the divine consequences of unrepented since
there are simply too many generations from the Quran or from the Sunnah upon the four of them that make it patently obvious that sins affect the fabric of the social order.
And our scholars of Islam would remind each other of this reality that what you do in privately will affect your public relationships. So if you don't even know you know, one of our predecessors he said, Canada only the scholars of the past?
Yakubu baboom Illa Baldwin behind the hill kalimat they used to write to one another letters with these following words what would they say three sentences.
When US law has said irata Who has la Allahu Allah Anita?
Who whoever corrects his private affairs? Allah will correct for him his public affairs.
Woman Ursula Hannah Lena who were they in Allah? Allahu Allahu Medina who have been a nurse and whoever amends the his relationship with Allah Allah who will mend his relationship with people.
While I'm anomaly karate he can fell Hula, hula Amara dunya. And whoever works for the hereafter, Allah will suffice you from your worldly problems that you
have not considered my brother. Have you not considered my sister? The bitter relationship you may be experiencing with your wife with your husband could be due to an unrepented sin that you've allowed in your life.
So you need not go to the counselor and the ShakeOut. first hurdle No.
Consider your relationship with Allah first. And perhaps Allah is punishing me with my spouse because of something that I've introduced between me and him. subhanho wa Taala
and that is why it has no bursary. He said what? In Neela RT for them be for you hope is Oh, JT, you are there buddy. He said, I recognize my own sin, in the behavior of my wife, and in the behavior of my right.
I recognize that I've done something wrong. That requires an apology to my Lord, when I see my spouse behavior changing towards me, or when my right becomes disobedient and nificant.
That's how they dealt with their marital problems and their relationships. Subhanallah they said a still futile law of upset my lord somewhere along the lines.
And Muhammad no see it in one of our predecessors a companion of Anas Abdul Malik, the famous interpreter of dreams
Pommery mousseline towards the end of his life, he was imprisoned because of a debt that he was unable to repay. And he was tested immensely because of that.
And he says what in Nila it for them, the lady who mula halaya mean, actually he doing? I know of the sin that I committed that put all of this debt on my backhand. What was the sin? Call to the Roger in Mondo aroma in the center? Yeah, Morpheus. I was insulted among 40 years ago. And I said to him, you're broke.
I said to him, mockingly, you're broke 40 years later, here I am.
Do you see
they recognize that their worldly problems was a translation of sins that may have happened in their life? That is a sign of virtue, as opposed to a man of Dharani he said commenting on this narration I just shared with you he said call that the noble Holmes it for me, you know you don't work for at Google will be what do you know big fella and
he says their sins were so few. So they knew how Allah was punishing them. They knew which sin it was. And he said us our sins have become so many. We don't know how and where and from what is Allah Almighty punishing us for?
So what do the people of Taqwa they do the people of Taqwa turn to Allah Jalla Jalla Allahu in an apology, whenever they see a discord happening between himself and herself, and their spouse. And they say b then b this is because of my sin.
So a brother he goes through a difficult time with his spouse, and likewise our sister with her husband. And the first thing they do is they retreat. And they begin to engage in reflection and introspection. And they begin to analyze their months and their years in their days. Where is the sin
till you trace it, you isolate it. And you see a stuck for Allah, Allah forgive me and the sister she does the exact same, same thing. And lo and behold, Mercy cascades upon them again, Rama of Allah opens up ease and happiness returns to them, and the difficulty is lifted.
I am not suggesting that this is the be all and end all. I'm not saying that every problem in your relationship can be solved in this way. Sometimes there are a variety of issues that causes marital decay, I agree.
But this is one of the boxes that must be checked before you eliminate and you think about any other option.
And I've mentioned to you the story before.
I remember one of our brothers
who fell out with his wife, he said I stormed out of the house and I made my way to the masjid.
And he said Subhanallah the moment I came inside of the masjid, I found myself very uneasy. I was unsettled, I couldn't relax. I tried to recite Quran. It wasn't happening. I was engaging in vicar. I wasn't enjoying it. Something was pushing me to go back home.
He said I picked up my bag and I went back home and I knocked on the door and my wife she opened she was smiling. She said your back I said yeah. She said I knew you'd be back.
He said how come she said because the moment you left the house, I was apologizing to ALLAH SubhanA died I was making a step five saying a stock Fetullah stuff. Allah Allah forgive me, I knew he'd send you back.
So my proposition for this principle I'm sharing with you, dear brother, dear sister,
is that before you go knocking on the door of the sheikh, or the counselor, or any website? You first assess your relationship with Allah Jalla Jalla Allahu, before speaking to anyone about your problem at first hurdle of a strain that is affecting your relationship. Consider first that there may be something that has polluted your relationship with Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah Allah, and that the solution is not mirrored to you than you think. And it is through Toba. Through is that far through making peace with Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah says, we're at Estelle funeral rob.com.
Ask your Lord to forgive you for Matobo Elijah, he then turn to him in repentance, what will be the outcome? You metalcon Mata and has an inner agilely Musa he will give you a good and true enjoyment until a specified term
and the until you die.
This is the promise of Elijah and realize that the sins that you and I are accumulating, that is a debt that needs to be paid one way or another, you're putting it on the plastic.
And it will come back to haunt you one way or another. And more often than not through relationships. What is the best way to deal with that? By asking Allah subhanaw taala to forgive?
That is principle number one.
Number
two, this is principle number 13. Yeah, the entire principle I mean to say, correct, and this is principle number five as well the sub from the subheadings. So this was this was principle number 13. So we're not going to have time to go through the other principles. So perhaps I will just introduce it for you. Principle 14 is where Allah subhanaw taala says in chapter three of the Quran, while carefully mean Allah youth
and those who suppress the anger those who control their rage.
And this is a part of an ayah that is describing the people of Taqwa from Surah two Alia Imran
Allah subhanho wa taala. He says, Let me give you the context of the principle, he said was out of your Elon Musk Filati mirabito raised to the forgiveness of your note what gender Denardo has similar to what an A paradise, that is the width of the heavens and the earth. Or that little motorcade that is prepared for the people of taqwa, who are the people of taqwa, see Subhanallah how this principle links in with the principle before it when we were speaking about taqwa and some of the examples of it. This area from Surah to Ali Imran is going to give you another another set of descriptions of who the people of Taqwa
Jana is prepared for the people of Taqwa Who are they Alladhina UniFi Hakuna fissara You Adara they are those who spend from their money during times of adversity and prosperity while cabling menial hate those who control their anger
well i fina and the nurse and the pardon the people. Allah who your humble mercy Nene and Allah who loves you the doers of good. Then the verse continues giving other descriptions of the people of Taqwa. Which part of this area do we want to focus on brothers?
Well, Kathleen means those who control their anger.
Any counselor
who deals deals with marital discord will tell you
that anger is a huge predictor of narrative decay.
There was research that happened by there was a bit of research that was conducted by Mark Hyman and colleagues and a separate research that was done by John Gottman and his colleagues. And they came to the exact same conclusion
that one of the major predictors of divorce was not financial adversity was not lack of sexual attraction was not deficient love. One of the major predictors of divorce was how that family behave during times of anger.
And I cannot personally count for you the number of families that have come to me have come to my colleagues before me, who have complained of a difficult situation that they've landed in all because of anger.
And now they come to the Mufti or the sheikh, or the brother or the student of knowledge to try to undo the mess that they've put themselves in all because of anger. Another brother is weeping with his wife saying, Please, yeah, she helped me find me a way to get back with my wife. Your habibi. How many times have you divorced her? Maybe 30 plus times.
And now it's the job of the Mufti to pick up this mess. And to try to find holes in his divorce. Yes, here you are frothing from the mouth. And yes, here you were angry. And yes, here you were unconscious, and yet to try to put you together. And sometimes it works. You say Alhamdulillah, there is a chance, but this is your final one, go back together and they weep and they hug and they cry, why did you need to do that? Then put yourself in this situation. And other times you will say that's it, it's finished. We cannot bring you back together, that Allah Almighty has spoken, we cannot find a way out for your difficult situation. And that's the end of their relationship
wherever why? Because of anger.
And similarly, how many times has a regretted regretful wife comes to us?
And she's saying Help me.
I was angry. What did you do sister I was upset. What did you do? Sister I
involved certain agencies in our relationship. I made certain phone calls to certain people. And I exaggerated the claims because I was angry. And now they're not leaving us alone. I want them out of my hair. I want them out of my relationship.
But it was due to anger. She says.
Allah says well, Kathy Mina Lee for those who suppress that anger. There are two caveats I want to share with you here before we proceed.
When speaking about anger.
The first disclaimer is that not all anger is bad.
I don't want to speak about anger alive as if it is Public Enemy.
Number one, no. Anger is a natural human tendency that Allah Jalla Jalla Lu has placed inside of us for wisdom.
And when that anger is managed, and when the expression of that anger is wise, you can see it as a valuable ally. Anger is a way where your body is telling you that there is a problem that requires your attention.
And therefore you need to take action.
What is it that pushes a parent to * up the children from an oncoming bus? Anger? What is it that causes a husband to go downstairs and to tackle an intruder or a thief in the middle of the night? That's anger? What is it that causes man to stand up to injustice and tyranny and speak the truth in front of volume wrongdoing? It's anger.
So when anger is in its place and expressed in the correct way and within its correct context. It is to be seen as a valuable ally. Otherwise, the people of wrongdoing and injustice will roam Allah's Earth with impunity, and nobody will put them in their place. That's caveat number one not all anger is bad.
Caveat number two, our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did become angry
and there's no escaping that reality. In fact, he himself said about himself in them Anna Bashar Al Babu Kana yah hoo Babu Basha, I am a human being and I become angry like human beings do.
He said that.
And our mother it shall be Allah who I know when describing the appearance of the Prophet alayhi salatu salam and she spoke about his eyebrows. She says, What are you now whom I will call you the Reuben hubbub. And between His eyebrows was a vein that would throb when he was angry.
Ah, so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did become angry, but what made him
is angry, but what made his anger different to ours? I share with you two differences and it makes all the difference.
Number one, his anger was never for himself.
Never for himself. It was never the produce of ego. He was never a haughty anger.
It was never an anger that came from personal interests. No, it was only an anger that was expressed within the limits of Allah violated. Look at all of the incidents in his life when he became angry. It was for his Lord gender Julia
Manta Carmen Vu Salallahu Alaihe alayhi wa sallam enough see here. Isha said that obey Allah. Allah did he identify himself?
Ill and to Takahama to Amin, Bihari Mala, Fanta, Camilla, only when the limits of Allah were violated, she said he will take revenge for the sake of Allah. Look at all of the incidents where he became angry. It was for his Lord. When he saw Ali, there'll be Allahu Taala and who wearing a garment that was described in a hurry as CRR CRR it means it's
a type of clothing that has lines within it, but it's mixed with silk and silk is only permissible for women.
Prophet, son, Allah, Allah who suddenly became angry who for the sake of Allah, he became angry with me.
And he became angry when he saw Osama to Windows eight whom he loved so much coming to him. And he was speaking to the Prophet alayhi salatu salam trying to find a way out for the Mac Azumi woman who had stolen and he was trying to intercede to suggest please don't cut off her hand don't carry out the capital punishment on her. This is an upper class woman.
And he became angry with Osama He said your interceding. When Allah Almighty has spoken, he became angry for the limits of Allah. When why the Blue Devil or the Allahu Anhu let's Allah Tala Shah and it was so long that people were struggling some even left the Salah, he became very angry with why the Blue Devil but for who for the sake of Allah agenda gelato that's the first difference that made his anger different. It was never for himself. When his personal rights were violated. He was calm and collected, patient and gentle and merciful. But with the limits of Allah were trampled he was a different man. That is a man.
The second thing that made his anger different was that he never went on a tantrum.
His anger never caused him. For example, to break something, to throw something to to smash something to flip over a table to spit out someone.
Even when he became angry, it was a composed anger and therefore it worked for him. It never worked against him, scan his entire life and you will spot fight you will find rage and tantrums, conspicuously absent from his life. allihies lottosend up Subhan Allah we're in the collana Hoolock now the sublime morality Allah usados
this was an introduction to the topic of anger next week we in the light Allah will continue and I'm going to share with you a three phase strategy for those who are struggling with their rage struggling with the anger and it's affecting their relationships. How do we tame this beast? I will give you some practical suggestions then inshallah with some alone and the you know what I'm doing now
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