This is Love #06 Allah Loves Harmony
Channel: Ali Albarghouthi
Series: Ali Albarghouthi - This is Love
File Size: 61.73MB
Smilla at hamdulillah salatu salam ala Rasulillah while earlier he was happy he was salam
la Malema million photo and found me my LinkedIn I was in El Mundo Rabbil Alameen Allah my nalidixic Shoukry cohosts neighbor attic llama Athena for dunya Sanofi la Yachty has no Joaquina either no
and my bad today's hadith is Hadith number six.
And the title is Allah loves harmony
and will understand insha Allah in this hadith
how Allah's love for harmony, this is the kind of the well being, love between people, how that should affect us when it comes to our relationship with Allah subhanho wa Taala and how that should affect us when it comes to our relationship with people as well. Because if this is something that Allah loves, it means that this is something that we should love as well.
And we should pursue and make a reality on Earth harmony love between people.
So in this hadith Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said yeah over a YouTube a YouTube, Allah do look at Allah sadhaka T mu Hey boo Allahu wa rasuluh Shall I not direct you and guide you to a sadaqa that Allah and the messenger and His Messenger love.
He says to slit who have been a nurse either tobacco do whatever so do he said men do what is between people when they get angry, and they stop talking to each other?
So this is a sadhaka.
And that is a common way of how the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam speaks, right? Allah do Luca Isla sada cuttin Shall I not tell you and I do LUCAM Allah T Jarrah, Tintin, G komen either in Le Allah Azza Danone says, Shall I not guide you to a commerce or a business that will save you from a painful punishment? So this is a presentation meaning do you want to know?
And that prepares you for what comes next? Do you want to know and if you want to know then listen. So this is a sadaqa that Allah and His messenger Allah salatu salam, they love what is it is as you to slip away in a nasty fix what is between people, when they start hating each other and boycotting each other and not talking to each other?
So let's try insha Allah to understand this hadith, but also in understanding this hadith. Let's understand something about Allah subhanho wa taala. Because that is the basis of all of this, why are we studying this? Because it makes us aware, and teaches us things about Allah's love. And one of the things that we keep saying is Allah's love, is completely unique. And surpasses any experience of love that we've ever witnessed. With a human being
a child, a spouse, a parent, a friend, they're very different types of human love. But the love of Allah Xeljanz surpasses all of that.
Because as human beings when you love, you'll always asking for a return.
We're always asking for something back. And if you don't get something from a relationship, you usually terminate it or it fizzles away.
Right. So human relationship is built on exchange of benefits. If you do not receive anything from that relationship, that relationship tends to do what? To die.
So when you're doing something, when you're loving someone, when you're doing something that is good, you're expecting something in return.
And first, that is the nature of humanity itself. Because we're always in need. I need someone to love me. And I need to love someone. I need someone to take care of me and I need to take care of someone, I need someone to feed me and also I feed someone. So we always are built on exchange of benefits. So if you imagine, because somebody could argue and say no, I'm able to have a relationship or actually do something where I expect nothing back from that human being.
For instance, I could give somebody money or for someone who does not believe in a god, this is I can give someone money. I'm not expecting anything in the next life. I'm not expecting anything from them. So here I'm not expecting a return. Right? Does that not spoil what we said here? We say no, it really doesn't, because you have the capacity to do something without a return, but only
You partially and limited circumstances? Can you imagine where all of your relationships are like that?
Where you do, and you give, and you receive nothing bad in all your relationships. So your marriage is like this. And your kids are like that. And your employment is like this, you just do and receive nothing back. Is that sustainable?
That's not. So why is it that I'm able, let's say, for instance, that I can give somebody money and expect nothing from them? Not a thank you and nothing? Is because if and I'm not even thinking about the next life, it's because I have other relationships that keep me satisfied. So that's why I don't need anything from them. I can assist him. I don't want anything from you. Not even a thank you. Not any acknowledgement. Why? Because I have somebody else who acknowledges me and thanks me. I'm satisfied. That's why I can extend my help to somebody else. But if I'm empty, no, I need something from someone. So all of our relationships as human beings, we're expecting something from somebody
in return for that. And that's what we have that relationship. That's what sustains it. Now, Allah azza wa jal, when he does what he does, he does not expect anything in return.
Only you say, how about salah and Zika and fasting, he says, This is not for him, this is for you.
But for him, he receives nothing.
So you don't exalt Allah azza wa jal, you don't make him bigger and better and more powerful when you worship. He does not receive any benefit from you are all but all the benefit is yours. And human relationships are not like that. So that's what makes the relationship with Allah zodion so unique because he does not need anything from you. You are the one who's receiving all the benefit. And there's a quote on page 63
And it's good this is from IGNOU coeem Rahim Allah and it's good to understand it. To know that these principles have been stated hundreds of years ago, so we're not discovering here today something new. Alright, we are revealing what is has already been written and taught and ignored Abraham Allah says for coolamon to hit boohooman unhealthy when you hit Boca in nama you already do Kaeleen FC he was out of the heman he says everyone that you love among creation, and He loves you bad. He wants you because of a benefit that he will get from you because of the objectives that they need from you. Well, Allah subhanho wa Taala you read Luca lecker and Allah azza wa jal wants you
for you. That is if we can call your connection to Allah azza wa jal let's call it a relationship. It says that relationship that Allah has with you is for you. Every other human being who has a relationship with you, they want you for themselves, because they receive something from you. Even the you know, the pleasure of your company, because they need companionship, I get something from you I must get something from you. Allah azza wa jal doesn't it so he says he continues he says as if this is reported
in the tradition and this is not a hadith he says I've decolonial rhetorical nfcu Anna already do kala cases Oh my servant everyone wants you for the for their own. I want you for your own right and everybody who wants you want to get something from you? I want you to give total benefit to you all so he continues qualify. Okay, fella is the hail Abdullah and you're gonna rob the hula hoop. We had the Hillman Zilla who were murdered on an homage award on behalf Brady. But it's Tara cocklebur, who muhabba to Seiwa he says, if that's the case, how are we not embarrassed that Allah has zoton will be like that to you. And you are looking away distracted with somebody else's love. Your heart is
consumed by that love and forgetting about Allah azza wa jal, right says If Allah azza wa jal wants to love you so much. And he wants you to love him back. And that is an exclusive relationship. He says, Why are we embarrassed when we ignore that love? And our love is consumed by other inferior worldly, earthly loves? How is that not embarrassing? And he says, What are you done for coolamon to me, luminol healthy Illa murabba Highlight Qlm your Amilcare while Abu della whom you know I mean and why repent he says everybody else must in this relationship that he has with you. He must win.
Right he must win he must get a benefit and if he does not get a benefit, he does not deal with you. He is not in a really
Shouldn't ship with you? We're Rob. We're in Nanaimo. I'm Luca liter. And Allah azza wa jal deals with you so that you will get all the benefit from him, he does not get any benefit. So imagine here a transaction that takes place, you go to the market, right? And you want to buy something, why does he sell it to you, because you need that commodity, and they need your money. But imagine going to a seller who gives you for free
means he doesn't need anything from you that and he gives you something that you actually need, the thing that you need, he keeps giving that to you for free, that would be the best seller for you. So it says also is saying in effect is how is it that you don't favor that seller, you don't favor that relationship over all other relationships where you're getting everything from him, and he gets nothing from you. Whereas when you deal with people, the fact is, they must take something from you. And this is will vary between the generous and the stingy.
Right? The generous fool will give you more
than you get from him, and the stingy, who will demand more from you. And most people are what generous, are stingy.
Stingy. They're not generous. Most people are stingy, when it comes to money and rights rather than generous. So your experience with whom humanity will be most commonly people who want more things from you that they're willing to give you.
That's the common relationship with humanity give me more than I'm willing to give you. So, and he says, And when you actually win in dealing with Allah Azzawajal, you're winning the Best win. Because the dyrham, the dollar is multiplied 10 times into 700 times into many more. And Asiya The best thing is one, and it's the fast instinct to be erased.
Like he's pointing out how good of a transaction that is, you give Allah azza wa jal, one good deed or one dyrham. If you want to continue with that metaphor, Allah multiplies it how many times 10 to 700. And even more than that, it can reach even more than that. And when they say the bad thing, it's recorded as one and he could erase it very quickly as Satoshi Maha harder for even he continues, Rahim Allah.
He says, And he SubhanaHu the Allah He created you for Himself, and created for you everything in the heavens and on earth. Right. And if it dunya, and also the hero for you, so who more than him deserves your maximum effort in love and maximum effort in obedience. So if you think about it, a lot of this all Earth, created for home,
humans, a summer, the sun in the sky for humans, this universe for humans, the water, the mountains, all everything is for you. And then Heaven is for you. The Day of Judgment is for you, meaning everything is about you. And everything is for you. And Allah azza wa jal is waiting to honor you. So he says when you consider all of that, put it together. He says, then you should exhaust yourself. exhaust yourself in his a bother in pleasing Him Subhan Allah to Allah and exhaust all effort and also fill your heart with his love. That that is the relationship that he is talking about. So glorify Allah xuejun subhanho wa Taala by understanding how different he is and how
different his relationships are. So
when Allah azza wa jal says Omaha, Dr. Jinnah will insert it earlier, we do not I did not create Jinan ins except to worship Me, ma od doing Homarus they will not only do I use a moon I do not want them or I don't need them to provide for me or to feed me. Here Allah assorted is pointing the fundamental difference between a relationship with him and a relationship with humanity. Because if a human being is in a relationship with any other human being, he's there to cover his most basic of needs and what is his best, most basic of need.
If you don't eat what happens? You die. So that means that you're always in search for what covers your basic human needs. You cannot escape it. You always are in need of someone to feed you. Give you a job right or somebody to spend on you. But you always are in need for that. If not, then your existence will be
Danger. And that will ruin the rest of your relationship because you'll always be looking to hustle and steal.
So you always have to eat. And you always have to drink. These are your basic relationships and you always also need somebody's companionship and somebody's compassion and somebody's love. Right? So if Allah says, At the most basic of level, I don't need you to feed me, that means he's completely different than anything that you ever see.
Because I don't need that thing. That is complete independence and self sufficient from him. subhanho wa taala. So you glorify Allah azza wa jal by believing that when I love him, when I worship Him, when I listened to him, I've entered into a relationship unlike any other relationship
I've ever seen. And one significant difference is the difference between human forgiveness and divine forgiveness.
consider yourself right. How are you with forgiveness and your ability to forget somebody's offenses?
You could look the other way. You could talk to them again. But will you forget?
It stays with you right? And for some of us, right, we will never be able to forgive another human being we will hold a grudge till we die. Right we will boycott that person till we die. And even if we are forced to interact with them, I will always in the back of my head remember the time in the day when you said this and you did that?
So that sin that offense doesn't really go away? Except with the very select very few, but it doesn't really go away. But with Allah azza wa jal does it go away.
It goes away.
So here here is the McCarthy era mafia is to cover up
the sin so that there are no consequences to it. It's not to be mentioned, you're not going to be ashamed or
disgrace because of it that's the mafia the mafia is a cover that protects you from the senators consequences. Allahu there is a an overlap between them. But in alpha is also an erasure of you erase the sin.
You erase the sin. So with Allah azza wa jal, it would be as if
it did not happen.
Right? He could begin completely new,
completely new and not only completely new, the Toba with Allah azza wa jal, that's the beauty again, she have to understand the difference. When a human being if you cross them, if you do something wrong to them, you may never be able to come back even if they forgive you with the Amina, they'll be able to come back to the same harmony and love that you had before. Right? Yes, okay. I forgive you. But I cannot love you as much anymore. You've lost my love. You lost my attachment with Allah has voted. Is that the case? No.
That's why Allah azza wa jal is willing to receive you to love you as much as he loved you before. And even more.
You say even more, he says yes. Because some of the other might have said
was Adam Alayhis Salam better before his sin or after? As an example?
Better before or after, after? All right. So he says some because they were debating a year Jota Elon of Siemens ability. Because when you when you when you're trying to worship Allah azza wa jal, you think about it, you're climbing. Right? You feel it right, you're climbing and you feel your Eman is better. And you're you're in proximity to Allah, your nearness to him is better or you're a bad or is this and this. So you go up and up and up and up. But as it happens to a lot of us, you slip when you slip you fall, and you could fall a couple of steps, you could fall really down. Now the question is, can a person who had fallen, climbed back to the same level or not? So that's the
question that the app so they say that it depends on how he reacts to that sin. So if that sin causes him to repentance, and to regret and motivates him to increase his devotion to Allah azza wa jal because he felt I've done something wrong, I need to make up for it. So if he does that he will climb higher than he was before.
Higher than he was before, and that sin would have been for him better than an act of obedience.
Right. So I don't know if we mentioned this before, I probably will probably did, like how an act and a badda. Right, could be detrimental based on what you do with it, how you react to it, and how a sin could save you. Right. And we said that it's always about how you react to it. So an act of EBA that causes self admiration, urges, or look at me.
And causes pride brings a person's downfall. I'm better than people, just because now I am doing this or I'm wearing it this way. So anyone, and this is something good insha Allah to keep in mind, if you're on a path to Allah azza wa jal, the shaytaan is going to try to do one of two things, either cause despair,
or pride. And either push you here and push you there, depending on what he understands you to be. If you're a person who is quick to despair will push you there. Just give up, you'll never be as good. Allah will never forgive you. These will be the thoughts that come to your mind. Do you mean to tell me that shaytan will still say that you tried and tried and every time you keep failing? Why not just give up because you will never be able to so that's despair. Or if he thinks we're if he sees you are strong. If I push here, that's not going to work. Let me push him in the other direction. So he lets you
that's interesting, right? He may let you write, focus. When you're reading the Quran, he may let you memorize he may lead you why? Because he could come it's a maneuver. It's a tactic. So he could come later if you've done something and he says what look at all the things that you've done.
So if you admire yourself, you've hindered your own effort. If you don't see this as from Allah Zota exclusively, you
hampered your own march towards Allah azza wa jal. So what brought us to this is that Allah azza wa jal holds no grudges, and forgives, and you can be better. So if you are repenting from something, say to yourself, the door of repentance is open, so I could be better than I've ever been before. So a couple of points here is that, again, to emphasize that Allah is Love is the best love that you could ever experience. And also, that we need Allah's love and to feel Allah's love in a damaged world that damages us. So when you think that people hate me, or may hate me, because of this, they mistreat me because of this, you're not getting the love that you really need. And all of us need to
be loved Allah azza wa jal made it so if you're not getting the love that you really need, and dunya is bruising you with all of its events and all of its demand, where are you going to find the healing love that helps you that helps you to move on, to be strong. If you look among people, you may or you may not find it, but will always be incomplete. But if you look for that love with Allah azza wa jal, it will leave you satisfied. It doesn't mean of course, you're not going to need to marry in underneath are going to need to have kids, but the fundamental love in your life will be the love of Allah azza wa jal will supersede all of these loves.
Now, moving on Allah xuejun Here in the Hadith, right, he said that you fix what is between people. So social connections matter to Allah azza wa jal and the matter to us. So if you think about it, in terms of a Buddha,
a lot of our A Berta is social has a social aspect of it. Right? So you think about it when we pray there is Gemma.
When we fast, we're fasting together. Edge we do that together. Zika it can access to other people ate, it happens with everybody. So you ask yourself and it's a good thing to ask yourself this. Why is it that all these things involve other Muslims as well? Now there is a balance in Islam, not everything happens publicly, another number of them happen socially. This is Allah that is done individually. There's a fasting that is done individually and privately. There is private sadaqa. So there is another side of it where you are alone and you can do it alone. And it's recommended that you do it alone because it's enhances your own Taqwa. But the other social part why is it that Allah
azza wa jal brings you out of your house every Friday to come to the masjid? Like it's a must for men. Why does he bring you all the way men or women all the way to Mecca to perform hajj and umrah why the trip and why does it all happen at the same time where as it is more convenient, if Hajj was whatever they were just
I did it may be it will relieve the congestion. But why all at the same time performing the same ritual? So what does that create? If you think about it,
there's a bond, right? You see the person and he sees you, you get used to them and they get used to you. The fact that you're worshiping at the same time means makes that worship more meaningful, more important, because other people are doing it. Because we're social beings. So isn't it true that when you find people
lining up or buying a particular product, you're naturally motivated to inquire and stand in line and go and buy that product? Just numbers, right? So if you come to the masjid and see people reading the Quran, what does that inspire you to do to read?
If you see come to the masjid, and you see people, you know, bringing their kids does that inspire you to do what bring your kids as well, you get taught what to do when you see other people. So it builds bonds, cements your relationship with other Muslims, solidarity, or you need something, I'm here for you, I need something you're here for me. There is this brotherhood, there's this sisterhood. Without that EBA you wouldn't know each other. You wouldn't be able to help each other. And it also creates common realities and goals. You're talking about the same thing.
If a society doesn't have the same bond,
what do they talk about?
Right? When you meet somebody that small talk when you meet somebody right, in an elevator, and want to make conversation, what do you talk about?
I don't know if you talk to them, but what do you usually talk about?
The weather, right?
Oh, it's hot today. Right? It's cold today? Or if you're a person who watched his sports, what was the score?
Did you watch the game? I mean, I don't watch the games. But I mean, that's what I see people doing. Why? What are they? Why do they talk like this is how you bond? That's what it's common. So if you're going to connect with this other Muslim, what is the thing that is common? Oh, Ramadan, right. That's a common thing. That becomes a common reality. It becomes we're all experiencing the same thing.
And then that creates the same goal. So Allah azza wa jal wants this so he made it this way. And Allah azza wa jal also commands unity and warns against disunity. So, there is this idea.
or Allah azza wa jal says wattleseed will be heavily like me, I will at the federal whoa, hold on to the rope of Allah azza wa jal, all of you collectively and do not divide.
And do not divide. And the emphasis of not dividing is important because you have to understand that there are forces that divide you.
So Allah saying, Hold on, and do not divide. And then he says, What Kuru and remember, Allah has Nima upon you when you were enemies, and he brought your hearts together. So you became because of that NEMA brothers. And you were on the edge of hellfire, a pit of hellfire, and he saved you from it. So it's the name of Allah azza wa jal that brings you together. Without it, you will fragment and be enemies of each other.
And there's actually a great lesson in that, which is what
is that the cause of disunity is the shaytaan.
The cause of disunity is schicke. The cause of disunity is sin.
And the cause of unity is Allah azza wa jal
and his Rama and his obedience, and if you keep that in mind, you'll understand the world around you and you'll understand what Allah azza wa jal is talking about in the Quran. If you want to bring people together, it's not religion that separates people, no religions actually brings everybody together because of everybody who is holding on to the rope of Allah as xojo. At the same time, think about a family. Because we'll make it more practical. If the husband is obedient to Allah, and submits to him. If the wife is obedient to Allah azza wa jal, and the she submits to him, isn't solving their problems easier
than those who don't?
Because both of them recognize a single authority and they can refer back to it whereas if that is not available, the husband will say, my rights and my way and the wife will say, my rights and my way we can get together. But if you recognize one single authority, that is Allah azza wa jal, then it's easy to solve. Because even then you will say if I give up some of my rights for the sake of Allah, Allah compensates me, right? I don't have to have all of my rights and it's the same thing when it comes to the state. What is going to bring everybody
Politics doesn't doesn't not have that power. Human mind does not have that power. Just look at those societies that don't have Islam in them. The living in harmony? No, they're not. There's great mistrust.
But if everybody believes in Allah azza wa jal, he becomes the single authority that tells everybody what to do. There'll be minor differences, but those can be overcome easily. So, Schick and sin are the main causes of friction, and the shaytaan is there to inflame all of this, and Allah azza wa jal word warns against hatred, suspicion, backbiting, mockery, and racial superiority. So all these things are the things that divide people.
So why is backbiting bad?
What is it do
demolish demolishers relationships? So Allah azza wa jal call it what a slug you're eating the dead flesh of your brother and sister. See how awful that is? If you think this is awful, then you don't back by it because that is how much damage you're causing. When you talk about people behind their back. It's not easy to heal.
Why is mocking people
What are 10 others who will clap? Right? Why is mocking people prohibited in the Quran? By mockery? Because it damages relationships. Why is it that Allah zodion says that no one is better than another except with taqwa, okay? In the economical mental life, come because whatever if you will take any other feature that Allah Atsuta had given to you, to mean that you are better that divides humanity and causes war
and hatred. But if everybody is equal before Allah azza wa jal, except those with taqwa and turquoise only known to Allah as Odin in reality, then there is no friction anymore because of differences. So differences disappear, or they are harvested to to serve a higher purpose. Okay, but not to destroy each other. So Allah azza wa jal warns us and makes dividing Muslims haram and Allah azza wa jal loves that unity because without it, you cannot worship Allah azza wa jal, without harmony between people, it'd be very hard to worship Allah azza wa jal, our Salah will suffer. You will not be praying Gemma.
Do you see how much anxiety it causes us when we don't have the same beginning and end of Ramadan? Right? You see how it is just one single day affects us this much. Is it right? Is it wrong? Because you know, we feel what we're divided. These people are fasting but we're not. We all want to be at the same time at the same place doing the same thing. That is what gives us comfort. So if you disconnect if you hate other Muslims, if you boycott them, then you're a birder will suffer Salah fasting, read Hajj, all of that will suffer and even the rights that Allah azza wa jal had dictated between other Muslims between Muslims that will suffer A salaam aleikum will disappear. visiting the
sick will disappear, following funerals will disappear. And then how Allah azza wa jal wants you then to be one One Nation, One Nation that don't even think about it in terms of one nation, one small community in a masjid if you come into the masjid
and you feel
if I tell somebody my secret, they'll spread it. And if I do this thing, they'll talk about me. And
if I say salaam nobody cares about me. What do you feel that you belong? Where do you want to come? Do you feel that this is a family of mine? Would you care about them if something happens to them? So you see how loving your brother and loving your sister is essential and realizing Allah's will?
So Allah azza wa jal loves it because of this. And Allah azza wa jal wants what to reconcile people when they fight
because it destroys the dunya and the earth era and there's a hadith here that is worth mentioning and understanding where the prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam said no Bureau can be avoided. I mean, we after leaving the raja TCM he was solid he was sadaqa he said, Shall I not tell you about something that is better degree than the degree of fasting and Salah and sadaqa charity. They said Bella, color is Lahu there till bein he said mending relations with Assad without ill benei al Holika and spoil the relations is the shaver.
meaning the eliminator of good deeds. So understand this hadith to understand that
the prophets of Allah was salam. And again, he's presenting it in terms of a question first Allah of Bureau come, do you want to know?
Chris? Interesting, because if you don't want to know don't listen.
Do you? Are you really interested that you want to know? Okay, then pay attention a lot of Bureau COMM And what is it? What is the information we have a lot, I mean, a degree that is better than fasting on Salah and sadaqa. Here, we're not talking about the obligation, right? We're talking about the recommended acts, so better than the recommended Salah better than the recommended fasting and better than the recommended sadaqa
what is it?
He said is slow who that in been fixing between people mending relations, because if you have a spoiled relationship, for in the hell hurry. It is the shaver what is the Holika just imagine if you take a shaving machine and you removing an animal's hair.
It leaves nothing.
So there the prophets Allah Allah wa Salam is saying that when you start to hate someone, and you love that to fester and grow, what does it lead to?
All types of sin, and there is no limit and no end to it.
You start losing your good deeds. Because if you're angry with someone, you can't help it by the way, you can't help it. If you're angry with someone, what do you do?
You start to start talking bad things about them because he can't help it is just it's boiling on the inside. He did this to me or he might be doing that to me. And he attacked and he said and who didn't do or didn't say. So you're now stuck in that circle of talking about them, talking about them talking about them. If usually use even stop there this backbiting.
Now, you'll start also what suspecting them without evidence. So we'll learn or they must have said this must have felt that must have done this. And you may start believing that They're conspiring against you. Because who is working actively to inflame that suspicion?
The shaytaan, right. The show plan is there to see okay. Now you're weak here. Let me push on the gas. Let me add something, let me throw in something else that you did not
think of. So for the shaytaan. That's a fertile ground. So you're back by you suspect, you start gossiping about them. And it doesn't stop there. Most of them would not even muster sorry, shut up. Most fires come from a small spark by just a small spark, and it destroys everything. So you could go and it could eventually lead to physical confrontation, verbal assaults, verbal insults, and if it's allowed to continue, you could kill that person. Right. So Allah Azza did so he says we're in thought if attorney minimum enough data to falsely Kobina Huma, when two groups of believers they fight, then reconcile them in both Ada, Houma and Oprah, but if one of them transgressors against
the other third party Lulu Teterboro, he had that fear either and Willa, then you fight the aggressor, until it comes back to the command of Allah as the origin meaning that becomes your obligation to groups of Muslims fighting, that even could include two nations, right? And they're fighting is reconcile if one of them turns out to be the aggressor and refuses to stop, then your job is to fight the aggressor until they reconcile. That's how damaging it is. So here when the prophets Allah, he was sending me saying, what better than Salah and sadaqa and this meaning that if you do this, it will raise you to the highest levels with Allah azza wa jal.
But if you find two friends who are fighting, and he tried to bring them together, husband and wife, a son and his parents, a daughter and her parents, and you break the ring them closer together, and that takes effort, and that takes time and that takes strategy and you keep at it and you keep trying and you keep trying and you they reconcile the Prophet alayhi salatu salam is saying that this is better than Individual Voluntary fasting and Salah and sadaqa. And these things are fundamental. So understand the balance it doesn't mean just do fixing relationships and forget about the rest of your a bad does. It doesn't mean that you need a strength to be able to do the other a
bad but if there's a conflict
between them that either I pray at night or talk to someone and fix a relationship which one is better?
Fixing that relationship, you see, why is this commonly enough? Oh, router ID I forgot I mean NFL parser will finally.
Okay commonly, and the phone water ID right is beneficial, that it's a benefit that extends to other is more important and more rewardable than an individual benefit does. If I just pray, I'm only benefiting myself.
And that is essential again, because you need that emotion. But if I fix a relationship, that benefit extends to other people.
If I fast, that's an individual benefit, if I fix a relationship, or help somebody with a problem, that benefit extends to them. So that is the highest of levels. That's why he said that he is Salatu was Salam. That is beautiful. I mean, Daraja. So if a person is aware of this, you make it part of your intention, or you make it part of your put it on your radar. Whenever Allah azza wa jal may allow me to fix something, I'll try to fix it and say it also. And they said this is
this is the job of the prophets,
and the job of the followers of the prophets of Allah and a masala to set up. And the Prophet Muhammad la Salatu was Salam he would go and reconcile tribes, or families, and also the scholars of Islam, they would consider it to be whoever has that ability and has that energy and has that time, but they will consider it part of their job as well to go and reconcile whenever there is a lack of harmony, when people are fighting, we're not getting along, they would go on reconsolidate because they understand first the great reward that is in it. And second of all, the great harm if that is allowed to spread. So Allah azza wa jal loves it, and it's of the greatest sadaqa that you can do.
So one benefit insha Allah that you take from this hadith with this particular last one, when he said, This is a degree that is better than the degree of fasting and this and that, is that, the more that you know, and the more that you understand, the more that your idea of a batter opens up. And the more that your appetite for a batter is up opens up a bit. And also you realize that I don't limit a batter to one or two acts. But a batter has many aspects and many paths. So you try to cover as many of them as possible. Some of us get stuck sometime. My only a better is Quran. And it's a beautiful type of a brother, but you just get stuck thinking that's the only thing that you can do.
And you're not aware of this thing. So when somebody has a problem, you don't pay attention. Because you say my Quran is better takes takes precedence, because why? Because in your head or aunties precedence, right?
Like somebody who believes that going to Hajj and going to Omaha, this is besides the obligation, that's the best of things that they should do. So if that is how you think, right? They took take precedence over other acts of a bear that we're as we're, as you have scholars of Islam, like Abdullah, Abdullah, Mubarak and others, who, when they were faced with, I'm going to do voluntary hedge, or give the money of that hedge to someone in need. What should Which one did they do?
Someone who's in need, and he, they give up on the idea of traveling to hedge, voluntary burdah Just for the sake of helping somebody else, and they consider that to be superior. So this flexibility and understanding the priority of where your effort should go and where the money should go only comes with a knowledge. But if not, you're simply stuck. This is the best and that's the only thing that I can do. So this hadith teaches us that if Allah opens a door for you to fix a relationship, then you go ahead and you do it if you know how to do it.
So the point here is like fixing or mending relationships is protection from harm.
And the next Hadith insha Allah will be being avoid be talking about bringing benefit, and Islam is about these two. The Fedora Virgil vamos Lucha. So, next Hadith will complement what we're talking about today. But this hadith is about pushing away harm so that if people fight you push away the harm of this conflict by reconciling them and there is benefit that you could bring to people but that we will be talking about next week insha Allah Allah Allah Ameen.
If we decide to adopt a sloth, who there till vain, mending relationships as our task, or something that is on our radar, whenever we find that we want to do it, you have to understand that the way to begin is to begin at home.
Right? See, you cannot fix other people's relationship while your or yours is suffering. See, begin with your own relationships. And that requires that you re examine how you are with your immediate family. So look again, at how you're treating your spouse, and how you're treating your children. And how you're treating your parents. And you try. And this is an act of jihad, you try to be better.
And if you're not talking to someone, you talk to them. If you're not, if you were not talking
positively to someone, then you become more positive, you become kinder, and I understand that there are obstacles, and I understand that will be hesitation. And it's easier not to talk and it's easier not to fix. But if we don't push, we will not know how deep this relationship can go and we will not know if Allah azza wa jal right, may have tested us with this test to see our patients and resolves and submission to Him. Subhan Allah to Allah. So point that is worth remembering, is that when someone came to the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam. And he wanted to go for jihad. And he says, Are your parents alive? And he said, Yes, they are still alive. And he said that he is Salatu was Salam.
He said for fee Hema for Jaya he, he says, do jihad with them?
Right? Do jihad with them?
What we might miss from that hadith? Is that
what he's asking him to what he is asking him to do? is easy or difficult.
Right? Is it easy or difficult?
Because what did he say? caleffi. Hema Fauja haters, you want to go for jihad, which is physically fighting the enemy. He said yes, but my parents did not allow me or my parents are still alive. He says for FY Hema for jarhead. Let your Jihad be with them. Their word jihad when you hear it is about an easy or a hard task. Hard. That's where we sometimes miss when he's telling him be with your parents and listen to them and serve them in this. He's telling him this is jihad.
This is jihad, meaning it is going to be at times difficult.
And you don't want to do it and you don't want to talk to them. And you don't want to be nice to them.
But you push against all of this just because of Allah azza wa jal, that is your jihad. Otherwise, it's what it's a technic.
This is not Jihad at all. Jihad is something that you don't want to do, and you dislike, but you want it but you have to do anyway. So that's why we also say that it really your relationship with your spouse must have that type of jihad, it's not going to be always simple and easy. It must have that type of jihad, your relationship with your kids must have that type of jihad, where at times you don't want to you don't feel to like but you do. Or Allah has zoton and you tolerate for Allah as Odin, I understand that there are limits. We're not talking about those extreme limits. I'm talking about what is average, what is normal. Okay, what is within reason. So it's important that
we begin at home, because if our relationships are good, we learn also how to fix other relationships. But if we are broken, how is it that we can go venture outside and ask people to fix their relationships, and it's a
it's a sadhaka that everybody can afford. It's the best sadhaka doesn't cost you any money. And if you are
a miser when it comes to money difficult for you to spend, spend your time spend from your advice, right spent from the mind that Allah has given to you. Because all of these things are spent the day that things that you could help people with. So it's likely that Elaine fixing marital problems is a priority. And if you're someone who knows about something like that, or you're consulted, consider that a responsibility and do not compromise a marriage.
Okay, if you are not qualified to give an answer, and you don't rush, and sometimes we personalize it, right meaning, whatever experience I went through, whatever damage I may have suffered, becomes how everybody else should live and react. So some points sometimes you receive
Advice. What should I do with my husband? What should I do with my wife? What I should do on my kids? And what you answer is based on what you went through? Oh, no, no, no, no, you know what, do this and this and this, and this is not what is best for them.
It is what you think should be done, or you should have done. So what I'm saying is that this is an Amana
if a sister comes to you, and she asking you for advice, because typically, to be honest, men don't do that with each other. Do you guys typically do this?
They don't really open up like that. They don't go to each other and say, I'm having problems with my wife. What do you suggest I do? That doesn't happen with men, I guarantee it 99% of times, know the person who's his friend, he knows nothing about what's happening in his home 99% of the time, with sisters on the other hand, it's almost the complete opposite, right? Your sister will know everything that is happening with you, right? And that's fine, because it's different nature and you know, women have to share, they have to talk. But two things to keep in mind. Not everybody. Although despite our you know, open, you know, best of intentions. Not everybody in the masjid is
worth sharing your secrets with.
Right? Okay, that's not devastating. That's just common sense. So you have to be very selective. If you're going to share something, share with someone who's truly responsible and can be trusted. Second, if you have been given this Amana and you want to give advice, give the best of advice, trying your best to keep the marriage intact and keep them together. It shouldn't. The first advice shouldn't be leave him and leave her. Right. You try your best and you strive and then if you fail, that's something else.
And last thing insha Allah two points just to mention is that you will,
if you give love Allah as they did, will give you a love back. If you spread love Allah as Odin will fill your life with love.
Right? And you know, in addition, of course to the reward that Allah has the dude will give you but if you're trying to reconcile people, and your intention is that you want Muslims to love each other. And you're doing this to earn the love of Allah azza wa jal just expect the love that you're going to receive from Allah as noted for that. So it's a beautiful, beautiful thing. It's a very difficult and exhausting and demanding thing to do. But if you just look at the flip side of it, which is that I'm doing this to please Allah and get his love and for people to love each other. And for that you receiving the love of Allah azza wa jal back, just receiving the love of Allah is more
rewarding, that anything a human being can give to you, thank you, you saved my family or you saved my marriage is there's not compared to receiving the love of Allah has loaded and feeling that love in your life, in your heart, in your heart, you feel just, you're so close to him subhanho wa Taala that you don't need anybody else or anything else. That is the satisfaction that he will give to you when you surrender to him. subhanho wa Taala and you do His will. So it's, you know how
it's uncharted territory is there is no limit and intuit the more that you give to Allah azza wa jal, the more that he will reveal to you depths of love and depths of Eman that you did not encounter before. There is no end to it.
And Allah as little could surprise you at what he can give you. The last thing is also to keep in mind is that Allah has them to reward you so much for fixing people's relationship, roads, you so much for spreading love between people. And the question is, as we've asked in the beginning, what does Allah get from all of this?
Right? Nothing at all. But just because it makes your life better and makes you a better worship of Allah Xeljanz So, it all goes back to you. So just because if nobody backed by to your feelings are not hurt, if in by nobody marks you Your feelings are not hurt. If you are suffering if your relationship is suffering, you have told all Muslims around you fix their relationship because I will love you if you fix that relationship. So Allah as Odin has enlisted, right? Everybody around to be nice to you. And he demands it of them and he punishes them, if they don't, right? So understand how precious you are in the sight of Allah azza wa jal that if somebody kills you,
there's a lot of dunya when you're in the law him and suffocate me or the me or God Muslim. It says the extinction of this whole earth is easier with Allah as of the lesson the sight of Allah
than the killing and just killing of a single Muslim.
All this dunya it goes away that's less than the killing of a single Muslim which is you.
So in descend you want you to understand how precious Allah as though Denmead you so don't demean yourself with *ake or with hypocrisy or Buddha, or with distance away from him subhanho wa taala. Again, like even claim he said he created you for him.
That is kind of the greatest thing that you can keep in mind I was created for Allah as origin. That's an honor. So keep this honor with you. And if you fail, come back to Allah azza wa jal Hamdulillah.
So I see Insha Allah, if we have questions, let me know.
And I'll see if we have questions here
Okay, so as you're thinking, shall have questions. Let me think of one here if, okay, so it's an online question. If a person in a position can fix relationships between people, and this person is supposed to do so but he's not doing due to probably his lack of strength? What should your advice be for that person? This is so a person can fix relationships, but they're not doing so because of lack of strength. What do you do with that person is a strength in yourself. That's why we talked about salah and Zika and fasting and do our best if you're not strong enough, because it's true. It does take a whole lot from you. It takes a lot of wisdom it takes a lot of time and not everybody
can do this. So if you're not strong enough work on yourself, work on yourself by increasing your a bad, a bad that is social public. And a better that is private and private. A Beretta is essential here because it does enhance your if loss and devotion to Allah azza wa jal. So work on your Eva and ask Allah azza wa jal for support and then enhance your connection to him. subhanho wa Taala and you will reach a point where even Allah azza wa jal and also in by the way, knowledge is necessary, knowledge is necessary because the more that you know, the more that you will have wisdom and insight to be able to fix relationships. So if you do that hope insha Allah that Allah has it it
will put you in a position where you will be able to help and don't necessarily rush in it if you are not ready and consult the people with experience and the people of knowledge how do I how do I interfere How do I interact? What advice can I give and then insha Allah with more practice you will get more wisdom in sha Allah Allah
on the men sides, is there anything that you guys want to ask?
Okay, so his question is that, which is basically asking, there's a Hadith of the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam, which is that the deeds to follow our Maluku life name were homies that every Monday and Thursday the deeds are taken up to Allah azza wa jal.
And there are some other Hadith in fact, where Allah azza wa jal will forgive like on the Anita night of the middle of Shaban, Allah will forgive everybody, except those who are in dispute. So Allah Azza will say unto her, they had diastolic haste as postpone those people meaning you know, from forgiveness from acceptance, until they reconcile. So that is actually a another layer that we can add to it, which is that it stops your deeds from going up, your deeds are not gonna evaporate, they are there, but they just don't go up or the forgiveness of Allah Azza did is postponed until He reconciled. So his question is what happens if I move away and they lost contact with the person and
I don't know how to reach them. So if you don't have an ability, then you don't have an ability anymore. So Allah does not hold you responsible for what you cannot do any more. He holds you responsible for what you are able to do. So if you can reach that person, you reach out to them and end this for Allah sake. If you cannot reach that person, right, and it's no longer within the means possible means of reconciliation, you just simply make that for them. You make Toba from this that I regret it, and you make dua for them, and hopefully that thing goes away because it's not possible for you anymore, to reconcile with them after losing
they on the sister side I don't see any hands up Okay
no, I'm Baraka Lafayette. So the question and that's a common question in sha Allah. So I hope that everybody can kind of soak it in and be able to share it with other people because if if multiple people ask about that I'm sure a lot of people outside would be interested in knowing this. The question is about backbiting and how you repent from it. And backbiting just so there are two rights related to backbiting there's a lot right that belongs to Allah azza wa jal and there's a right that belongs to a human being, which is the one that you've injured. The right that belongs to Allah azza wa jal, repentance, just Toba. Right, just like any other offense. But now the question here is, if
I've heard that person, what do I do? So if I took his money, Tobor demands that I return that money, or at least I go and say, Forgive me, I took your money, I can't repay you, because I don't have the money anymore. He must forgive you, for all for you to be off the hook. But other than that, you have to return the money. Now backbiting, does it follow that same model? We say as you said, there are two opinions one opinion that says well, you're not really in the clear until you go and inform him or her. I did this. I did that. Please forgive me? And if they forgive you, then you're in the clear. If not, then you're still responsible. You have to pay for it on the Day of
Or the other opinion says, What says that there's more damage. In fact, if you go and tell them,
there's more damage, because the person did not know that you said anything about him. But now they know. You spoke about me behind my back and you said terrible things. You don't have to tell him what you said. But I just did, can you forgive me? Now he knows, or you said these things about me. So they could never go back to the way it was before? Before they knew about it. And that is the stronger opinion. Because the first opinion will cause a lot of damage. Consider also how many people we back by
and consider right? How many times we would have to go and tell them I said this about you. I said this about you, I said this about you. And then the hurt that that will leave in people's hearts. So they say no better than that is that you do what? You make dua for them. You repent, but when it comes to them, you make dua for them. And then they also say, among the people that you had that exchange, of backbiting, you praise them, and you elevate them as you brought them down you or elevate them, and you make the heart with them. And it doesn't also hurt to give sadaqa on their behalf. Right? give sadaqa on their behalf. Because if it happens that on the Day of Judgment, they
say, give me my right, you already have given something right, you already have given something and that will teach us also as well not to do it. Because if every time you backbite a person you go and you give sadaqa it will teach you that well. It's costing me see your watch what you're saying. So Zack Allah here for asking, so keep that in mind. Don't share with people what you said about them, but rather ask Allah for forgiveness, make dua for them. And then if you can give sadaqa on their behalf, that's also beautiful on
the shell, so I think we should conclude right?
Okay, let me just see there's one more
Okay, so I have two more Okay, I'll try to answer that quickly. Inshallah Annika Messina. Could you please share practical advice on how to start reconciling with a close nonpracticing relative who hates you do to other sowing discord and alienation?
So how do you start reconciling with a close nonpracticing relative? So
you basically just simply pray before you do this, that Allah has certain rules kind of smooth, smooth things out. So it's easy in sha Allah.
The second thing be be just forthcoming, be honest, be sincere and go and say
I did not say this. I did not do that. I don't want us to have that type of relationship. I want Allah azza wa jal to be pleased with me. So please, if I ever said ever done anything to upset you, please forgive me and I'm doing this you know, so that you would not hold any? You have any bad feelings towards me.
Anyone, typically anyone who comes to you like that you'll accept. It doesn't mean that everything is forgotten. But at least it's a first step. And the more that you keep doing this, especially, and we'll talk more about this insha Allah so you know, stay tuned, give gifts in a gift bearing gifts, here's something that I want to give you another time, remember them with another gift, it will erase the hatred that they have in their hearts. Inshallah, I just need to be quick so that we don't get into Maverick time. How do we have good thoughts about those who wrong us and transgress against us? And going against instructions of Allah, while we have gone against the instructions of Allah
that's separate? So but how do you have good thoughts about somebody who had wronged you? It's not easy. It's not easy. So it takes effort, but you take refuge in Allah zodion from the Shavon. And say to yourself, if this is baseless, these thoughts are baseless, stop them, because they're definitely coming from the shaytaan or a weak self. So if you stop it, then you would have in fact closed the door of suspicion, and bad thoughts that typically come from us opening the door for that because it's coming from, as we said, the shaytaan so that we live in a shakedown regime. So stop thinking about these things, occupy yourself with something else and say to yourself, maybe perhaps
they have an excuse, maybe perhaps, they didn't think about this, maybe just find a way to dislodge right, that position that you put him in and think maybe find some sort of excuse, even to the to the extent of maybe this is that he can blow who minute I'm this is as much as they know, if they knew any better, they would behave better. May Allah forgive them, but at least you try to be the bigger, better person. Right? And apologize, I don't think it's going to be sufficient. But I also do want us insha Allah to go into Maghreb, so I can have to stop here. This is a common law hero, so panic alone will become the shadow ally
to where they could have the lie or belaga