Channel: Alaa Elsayed
Series: Alaa Elsayed - To My Daughter
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Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah salam aleikum, wa rahmatullah wa barakato. My dear brothers and sisters in Islam, welcome back to another episode to my daughter, from the heart to heart. Congratulations, my dear, you're married now. I'm happy for you. I do have some reservations. It's very difficult to take. But it's the tsunami of life. It is a debt I had to repay. I remember saying the same thing to my father on law, that I will take care of your daughter. It's time for us to fulfill that and the life goes on.
Now, my dear daughter, and my dear son in law, I have a few final advice for you to finish the four by four
year together now in one home,
and one house that you're going to turn it into a home.
So let's talk about that theories that we talked about, of the last four.
Understanding that I talked about that three out of the four now the Final Four is simple.
First one is the both theory.
The both theory my brothers
and my sisters, is marriage is like a boat, the safety boats in the ocean of life, my dear son in law and my dear daughter. I want you to think that this boat is the Buddha will save you from this fitna of life and always have on your GPS Jana, you'll find Quran and zoonotic region, and you know what they are, these are yours. Without these oars, there is no direction you'll be lost at sea. You will need a euro a sail. Your sail has to be Islam. Islam is the one that will give you the wind in your sail. Without that wind, you will definitely go nowhere The boat is dead in the water. The fuel
has to be tbwa because Allah Subhana Allah Allah told us that what is overdue for in the higher Reza taqwa what the punia audit.
Understanding My dear brothers and sisters, is that is the key for success in this life in the hereafter. So my daughter, duck What is your view and understanding that will be the saving factor in this life? so tough? Why is piety? Is that how you deal with one another? We'll show you piety. That's your first. Your second is your thread theory. Marriage is like a thread.
A thread is held between the both of you. If you both follow the same time it will break
my dear so
I'm telling you and cut to the chase. My daughter is gonna pull she's a tough cookie. She's an alpha. I know you're an alpha dude. But May Allah help you.
She is going to pull just a matter of time. When she pulls you let go. Why?
Because you demand we demand
you demand because Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam dovers laser o Eva Sora in Nemelka week mentor Malik enough so we're in Delgado,
the strong one is not the one that beats things up. But the strong one is the one that controls his rage in time of anger. So you demand
my daughter if he the man who the queen.
You're the queen? I don't mean drama queen.
You're the queen.
Your Highness. You're gonna be living with your husband?
In your castle, in every castle, my dear daughter. How many kings are there?
I hope you said one. Your Rights. It has to be only one king in every castle. Have you ever heard of two kings in one castle? Impossible. They'll kill each other. As a matter of fact that he says LAN Allah. Allah curses women who act like men and men act like women. You know why? Because a man does not want to marry another man.
A man wants to marry a Whoa, man. So you need to whoa this man.
And my dear son in law.
How many queens
if you say four I'll shoot you right now.
I got you back when I'm just saying. We'll talk privately. Some others.
Javi, my dear beloved son in law, know that number one on your list is respect. Number one on her list is actually love. But respect is earned my dear seven love
and respect is not granted. So if you don't look after the family and the well being of the family, you will be another male figure, Allah does not take about male, but he had a Jad talks about men. So be the man, like I expect you to be and you never let me down, and you never will inshallah.
Bye, daughter, love is the same.
Now, my advice to you is be a first class lady. And don't try to be a second class man.
Why would you I already told you that you raised three times higher than us as a mother and a father. So stay up there where you belong. Don't come down to us.
Understanding that fact.
that the computer theories vital in understanding what it's about.
Computer theory is simple.
When I give you a computer, and I don't teach you how
I asked you, how do you like your computer? Say I'm frustrated? I don't know how to use this computer, take it away. I'll take it away.
And then I tell you take a course how to use the computers.
I'll give you the same computer back as you same question. How do you like a computer? So I can't live without it? What's the difference? You understood the language of the computer.
So my dear son in law, I want you to look at her as Mac, and my dear daughter, I want you to look at him as Microsoft, you don't speak the same language, hence, men from Mugu woman from Medina. I'm gonna give you a few secrets. There's quite a few. But I'm gonna give you a few.
The first secret is that men prove themselves from what they produce.
According to Jason, Allah, He says now there are men that actually belong to the origin. So it's going to be a little bit philosophical, but if you understand it a little bit later, you will make sense inshallah. So a man provides an he thinks that I'm the man, I feel like a man because I provide a protect, and so on. So he says there, beginning of the of the creation has a lot to do with how we feel. For example, Adam, or Islam was created from dust. So the origin of Adam is dust. And Adam is part of the origin, which is dust.
And we learned that the juice your whole new, meaning the part longs to go back to its origin. So Adam wants to go back to dust and dust, Rumson, Iman, the symbol of work. So a man finds himself at work.
So my dear daughter, don't complain. If he goes to work, he's doing this for you.
And I understand that you created from a rib or so I'm not gonna go into that for now. But for the sake of argument, you were created for him from him.
Amazing, isn't it? Yes, indeed.
Now, I understand that if you want to go back to your origin,
and the origin wants to go back, from the park to the origin, we have a little bit of a concern. You know, that's why when you put your head on his chest to feel complete, and so will he.
So please note that if your wife, my dear son in law, if my daughter comes to you and says you don't love me anymore, and you freak out, and then my daughter, you will hear this, you will hear? How could you say that? What do you mean, I don't love you? What about the ring you're wearing? What about the dress you have? What about the car you driving? What about the house we're in? What language is speaking the language of the man produces? Understanding that making sure you understand that the man proves himself through that. But a woman indeed does speak that language, my dear son in law, so please make sure you speak in her language.
Now, I understand. There is a lot to cover. Number two on the list is men are physically based, and women are emotionally based. What does that mean?
It actually means that a woman will learn to be attracted to the men they love. And a man will learn to love the woman they are attracted to.
So be patient with one another. Remember, you said you're in love before marriage.
You were infatuated? You were in lust with one another. But love comes after marriage after the difficulties
The ups and downs, the hardship, and you still looking at each other, holding on to one another and still smiling after everything that is love, not before. So don't be fooled, you understand. So it is extremely important to understand my dear daughter that 89% of men want to get married because of intimate relations. So don't ever be a little bit.
I'm going to talk about it in the duties and rights a little bit later. But at least now understand the person in front of you.
Might your daughter know the North Pole and the South Pole?
Woman or an emotional bag you have to invest?
Indeed, we have to say a few things. Yes. You know, when you say I love you, honey.
Some of us have difficulty saying that.
They usually say Ay, ay, ay Lalalalala. Train yourself, I know you demand, you can do it. Say I love you, honey, you don't have to say I love you. You can give her a post a text, a hug, a kiss, a touch, a flower, a chocolate a poem.
And remember, it will come back to you. Because you will withdraw. Whether you like it or not, just don't go in the red stay in the green.
You understand my dear daughter that Remember, it is the difference that makes us different. So we celebrate our differences. So if you want to go in the south south pole, my dear son, you go to North Pole for hearts. And my dear daughter, if you want to go to the north wall for your heart, you have to also look after your husband. You don't take advantage of one another. But you help one another where there is a team, the eye captain is gone. That boat has sailed the boat is gone. But it's us we an hour is now. So please make sure you look after one another number three on the list
is you have to have a common hobby. Because I want you to be a best friend that's a lover. And that's the success rate. If your wife or your husband is a best friend, you have a long healthy righteous life. Because no matter what intimate relationship only guys will whatever.
But indeed, friendship will last.
So please make sure you have a common hobby.
My dear daughter, learn about your husband's hobby and share it with him. Whether it's sports, politics doesn't matter.
His job, whatever it is, learn about it. Talk about it. And my dear son in law. I know you know, he came to me asking how to win her over I told you horses and you swept her off your feet. You did good job, my son. He took her on the horse. Literally you took her on the horse on a wedding day, smite, good Dr. Masha, Allah, I'm so proud. So if that's the case, I feel sorry for you. But you do what you get to do. My motto is whatever it takes. So if you have a common hobby, you'll be happy together. Best Friend. That's a lover exactly what it is.
Number four, women love men who listen.
Yeah, good luck with that. Because men, we have a selective hearing. Unfortunately, we don't listen very well. So my dear daughter, if you want to talk to your husband, please make sure you have a square shoulders, eye contact, he makes sure that he doesn't have the cell phone, a laptop, distracted, watching his favorite, whatever you make sure and repeat things confirm that he hears you. And this is how you get it.
Please don't take it for granted. So communication is a key. And that's exactly what we do. So my dear son in law,
if my daughter comes to you crying and she will, she has a fast tear like your father,
emotional based indeed.
She will come to you and complain one day. And if you stop her in the middle of that conversation, and thanks for playing. Thanks for coming out. Listen to me, son. I know her well.
Let her vent. Don't go against her at this point. Bad news. And don't stop her because if you stop her she's going to repeat that story from all the way the beginning again and again.
I feel your pain. So remember, women are not looking for our Superman. I'm here to see my damsel but they're just looking for someone to listen. So please, just listen. Here here. I'm here for you. That's all they're looking for.
Number five on the list. We use the left side of the brain and women use the right side of the brain. So woman more and more emotional. They have the fantasy they're fantasize about this the colors and all of these beautiful hrpo
And then we make decision numbers and all of that. So please make sure you understand
that we are different,
different in a way that we are going to understand the strength and weakness of one another and build upon one another. So you understand how the process makes, how we actually look at one another, and look for excuses for one another, because that's the basis our lawmakers. So if they use the right side of the brain, while they can multitask, because there's a valve between the two sides of that women have a larger valve than us so they can go back and forth. Us. For men, we don't have a very large valve. So it's very difficult for us to transfer from that left to the right. So we can't multitask as much,
obviously, is a issue so you have to give us a break.
Again, we can't. So please make sure we can do one thing at a time. So give us a break. I have to understand that part of our lives in order for you to be able to live happy the challah. The last one I have on my list in sha Allah is
women look at the specifics. And men look at the general picture. What does that mean?
You know if you go home, my dear son and you're asking, Hey honey, do we have food? She's gonna tell you have three chicken five fish, Five golden for rabbits and five eggs and whatever is Lamin.
Man, we don't want to hear all this. We just want to hear Do we have food? Yes or no?
You know what that means? I need to know if I'm going to live or die. Do I stay home to eat? Do I go outside to eat something to I can survive.
So please, my dear daughter, do not overwhelm this poor man with information. Speak to him in his language. And my dear son. When you speak to her, you better do your homework.
You know what that means? If she cooks a nice meal for you don't just eat it and go. That was good.
No, you have to go in specific and say Honey, I love the food beautiful. You did an amazing job. Really appreciate the time you put in the kitchen. I love the way you put the fork on the outside and the knife and inside Emily post will be proud of you. And that beautiful swan that you have as the handkerchief is amazing. Not only that, look at how beautiful the steak is made crispy on the outside yet tender on the inside the garnish. The color coordination is beautiful. And that gravy runs down with a beautiful river which I remember. And the juice complements it so beautifully. Menifee complements the chef. That means you're going to eat again.
And if you wave looks good for you. And you hear things in the bathroom. You can see just go or you say be still my beating heart. Even those flowers pale beside you beauty. Look at your beautiful hair. I remember the first day I saw you these beautiful eyes that made magic that turned my heart into
frail will always see those beautiful struggling lips go into specific My dear son Allah, you will melt in her hand and so will get you and you will get her to and that's what I say. Please understand the language of each other. So you will be happy in this life in the hereafter mean bla bla bla bla mean or salamati or Savio Tabby is like Milan Fado soleimani Kumar,