Channel: Alaa Elsayed
Series: Alaa Elsayed - To My Daughter
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Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah salam aleikum, wa rahmatullah wa barakato. My dear brothers and sisters in Islam. Welcome back to another episode of the heart to heart to my daughter. stage four is the method of nurturing the child and development. There's a lot to share with you on this one. And we talked about a lot of stories last time. So now Hamdulillah, we're going to go into something in depth a little more in details about how the steps you should take and what aspects and character that you have to do. We talked about the open door the direct communication, this is when you really speak to a child in their language, their understanding and
clear direction, there is no ambiguity it only breeds confusion. Please understand also, when you do this relate to them. What do you mean by that?
will allow Subhana Allah Viola when he talks about it in the Quran, he says, well, Marcel nadra Sunni level is any Camila you but
you understand. So Allah subhana wa Jalla, Veera was talking to us, everyone, every time we sent a messenger, it was by the tongue of the people, not just the language, the understanding the mentality, the environment, everyone that he can relate to. And he sent 124,000, prophets and messengers, and we know the accountability process. So when you do that, please speak in a child's language. And I am going to talk about the back home syndrome and the Allah help us will live. I forgive me, my child, if I ever told you when I was young, when I was your age, when I was back home, I went to school, bare feet, uphill both ways in the snow, we had nothing to eat, we had
nothing and we were grateful, May Allah help you, I want you to get rid of that.
Whatever song desperately trying to relive your memories, remember, I'd even that we thought about the law needs to say he was they were born and raised in a different time and a different environment, you cannot raise your child in the same environment in the same way that you were born and raised in totally different. So when I speak about the language, or my child, I'm going to be learning from you, from you, to you, and for you. So I understand now that you don't speak even in sentences anymore. You don't actually speak in words anymore. I understand that you speak in letters now. So I need to know these letters. And you know what i'm on to you. So I know what it is to be
careful Yani. I know. So when you speak to them, my brothers and sisters speak to them from the heart. Don't speak down to them, speak with them, at them. And that's how you celebrate the positive.
When you celebrate the positive, they learn to be confident, they look in the positive, what does that mean? It simply means that you're going to emphasize the positive. Again, the mirror effect is there. Of course, we know that everybody has a positive and negative. So you work on your child's positive. So I'm going to work on your positive, I'm going to enhance that the Son, we know that we're human beings, I don't expect you to do everything. And I know that I've said, My daughter has grown and you save in China.
Again, I'm not going to go into politics here. But you remember what I said. So when we speak about it, I know the weaknesses there, I don't emphasize that I covered with that positive and the strength, that the talent that all the attributes that you have. And that's how you celebrate your positive. You don't want to compete with anyone you want to complete them. And that's exactly what you do. And this is the best way to prepare your child for a social and expandable their horizon, you look beyond that. Look above and beyond, don't limit themselves, always give them an option. Always open doors. And that's what I've always done with you, my dear.
We want to create opportunities for them to learn.
You take him with you to the masjid you take him with you to the Holocaust. You delegate responsibilities to them that's done with my children, you have to do so you have to bring him to the righteous path. Make him owner, get the ownership from them. Lead the buying process be there. Please make sure that you become part of their life and they become part of yours. And that's the extension that you want to see. Share within your personal experiences. Again, be that best for the way to trial is that acquire knowledge and familiar with various opportunities, give them let them make mistakes. I remember when I let you go. I remember when I let you walk. We were walking behind
you but you did not know
I knew I had to protect you. But I also had to give you an opportunity to grow.
Now, the companionship is something that is extremely important. Remember, when I told you earlier, I promise to be a friend, not just your father,
I want to learn the secrets I want you to confide in me, I want you to trust me, I want you to come and ask me questions. And if I take it the wrong way, please forgive me. Be patient with me as I am with you.
Also, remember, if I don't give you the answer, I know you will go to someone else. And they will give you the wrong answer. So I have to understand where you come from. And I have to remember where were when you weren't. And now know that a lot of parents forget where the war they were forget they were children. They forget they made mistakes, they forget that they had errors. And since we're only human, and I won't do that with you, I'll remember where I were, when were you.
And that will give you that companionship that I was deprived of. And I know sometimes some of us don't have the same opportunity. You know, some of us came to this world or this side of the world with no much to offer or give. And I know you will make us proud. So I'll take you with me shopping, I'll divide my time with you. And I'll be the same. I will do that with all of your siblings in sha Allah. Understanding that I'll joke with you, I'll eat with you, I'll share with you, I'll have a common hobby with you. Forgive me if I'm not the best horse rider, but I'll do my best to be your friend and confidant.
A parent should also try to be close to them, not just close to them be the closest smile in their face, joke with them be affectionate. Not just with them with the whole environment that with so their friends could also be friendly with them, meet with open arms, eat with them, share with them the hobby that I've talked about it, you know,
I'm going to give a measuring stick
when I came home, did you run to me or did you run away from me? I wonder. And I remember and I thank you for that
rewarding work for everything they do. And that's what you have to emphasize the positive reinforcement goes a long way the negative reinforcement, they want to be recognized, they want to be celebrated. So we will celebrate your success and you will be rewarded accordingly. not overly so becomes you become desensitized, but just the right touch for what you memorize the Quran, memorize the ahaadeeth you go to one level at a time. I remember listening to you na core and competition when you won the Korean competition. I had tears in my eyes, I had goosebumps. And it was so tough. I remember that day.
I was there. He made me proud.
May Allah make you proud in this life in the hereafter as you have for me.
competition between you and the children is a good way in a motivational, positive way. It actually has something to do with you and have a common hoppy with them. You know what, once in a while, let them win.
No matter how big or small, acknowledge the fact that they've done good
and encourage them because encouragement is exactly what do you want the feed off that encourage your child to be a powerful way that you relate to Allah subhanho de la jolla a talk about that bad The Good, the heaven and a hell Allah uses the same methodology if you do will, you will enter in heaven May Allah make us among the dwellers era, amin together after a long healthy life. And if you don't, you will be punished. And that's why we use with you. You do well you will be rewarded. If you don't, you will be disciplined. There are rules and regulations. We know we cannot raise our hand above the shoulder. We cannot hit the same place twice. We cannot hit the face. And if you say
are with a villa in the shade on the regime, I have to stop. I did not want to teach you that trick earlier on because every time I'll come to you will say oh the lashes on resume. I know your tricks. You're too smart. But you know what? I had one up on you. So please remember, if you do well always have to keep heaven as your eternal. If you do bad, remember have that fear and love and we will talk about it. But you know what? I want to give you the satisfaction of winning. So I let you win once in a while not because you are good.
But you are now I can compete. But I want you to pick the movie. The high level movie of course. I want you to pick the game. I want you to pick that time and I told you you want to go play
bowling. Everyone has their game Everyone has their turn in NA house. We sit we have holocausts at home, everyone has their turn. I want you to leave the Holocaust one day, I want you to teach me about Quran. I want you to teach me about the Hadith.
I want you to lead us learn and teach us.
You know the hope and fear I was talking about earlier. You know what Josie talati used to say, is be like a bird.
A bird has two wings. And the head is that what he said? You know what that means?
You have to be like a bird. Yes, free, free at last roamed the earth have no boundaries, as long as it's halal. I taught you that. My measuring stick has always been halal and haram. And I wish to follow that footsteps of Rasul Allah, and I want you to watch and follow the footsteps as your father has, and be better than me. The only person that will want you to be better than them, indeed Are your parents. So remember, we will end hovering so high with the love and fear of Allah subhanaw taala. Viola, as a him said Rahmatullah highly. He says, everyone should be like a bird has two wings. Hope What? Love and fear the love of Allah subhanaw taala You know why? Because we know who
he is Alhamdulillah that Allah is Allah, praises you want to him that Allah is our Lord. merciful, indeed, he forgives, he gives chances, every one good deed you do it multiplied by 10 and 700. And more. If one bad deed you do, is multiplied by one
or turns into the deed if you leave it for the sake of Allah or repent from it. So the right wing and the left wing has to work together Love and fear of Allah for a balanced life throughout our latter fleet. You cannot go to extreme one way or the other. This is the lesson learned here. I want you to stick to the midst of the path. Do not be fooled. Do not be an easy bait for anyone on social media tells you I want you to this I want you to then follow blindly. Do not be a follower. Be a leader that you are and remember you long for the love of Allah because he deserves it. Because he's our Lord. He gave us everything that we're about our life, our heart, mind and soul, our health,
wealth, your spouse, your children, your job, everything you're about is to Allah. Hi it Hello, hi Lila. My whole life is for Allah. And the other side is a fear for you to endure Allah Subhana Allah Allah, how could you?
Is it befitting for us to anger Allah subhana wa Jalla Viola? How could we withstand the pain of a candle that I'm going to use to say, Allah Subhan Allah? I have no hottub can you withstand the pain of a candle light and we know the Hellfire has 70 times hotter than the hardest fire on earth, and that is the lightest fire. So you have to have the balance my dear daughter, the love of Allah, longing for the mercy of Allah longing for to live happily ever after. Never Die again. Never be sick again. Never be hungry again. never be thirsty again. Never be sad again, never have to work again. Never have to say so long, which one day we will after a long healthy life.
But just temporary to ICU in general laughter
but we also have to have the other wing from stopping us from doing this in. Because we don't want to go to anger Allah or the Wrath of Allah of welfare. The head is taqwa piety and I'll talk about it in sha Allah.
consciousness of Allah especially when you're all alone. And remember that the head is stuck. Why is because you will only learn if you have Taqwa, piety and conscience of Allah when you're all alone. You know why? Because you will be alone when you die. You will be alone in the grave and you will be alone when you ask question you will be alone when he is erupted. And you will be alone when you get your books and you will be alone when you hear your name.
So, I want you to remember your name. I want you to remember who you are. Don't ever forget.
This I will finish with inshallah
We're in minko illawarra can Allah bigger heathman maclear therminal Nigella Dena taco, one other robot demeanor he has.
Everyone will pass over the hellfire. Everyone will follow the rain except those who have Taqwa your lawmakers among them autoclean amin
hamdulillahi Rabbil alameen wa salam O Allah Wa sahbihi waterbay in desert Milan. molana Hydra was Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh