Alaa Elsayed – Spouse in the House

Alaa Elsayed
AI: Summary © The speakers emphasize the importance of avoiding regret and not just thinking about it. They also stress the importance of being a "mother" in marriage and emphasize the importance of finding one's own time. The speakers advise men to make commitments and practice healthy engagement, avoiding negative language and not giving too much information to women. The importance of not taking things for granted and not giving too much is emphasized. The segment ends with a recap of the five pillars of Islam and a promise to protect loved ones.
AI: Transcript ©
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Okay, what's going on hamdulillah salat wa salam ala rasulillah salam aleikum. warahmatullah wabarakatuh My dear brothers, Islam and welcome from home love make it a home sweet home this is your brother Allah talking to you from Canada inshallah we're going to talk about spouse in the house a home sweet home Special Edition because I'm a law here the brothers and the sisters in Kosovo actually thought of this idea and I thought it was a good idea because I'm going through with myself so

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before we do something that we can regret May Allah Subhana Allah villarica Salah hearts of men that making sure that we can pass this and hopefully we can come up with the flying colors and a show lumea look, protect this sector families and loved ones, and wake us up inshallah, as the shift surgeon Have you don't learn to hide, as we'll talk about tomorrow inshallah, that we are going to be here together, we come stronger to beautiful lesson, we're not gonna actually regret this, because it's gonna be a good good thing coming up with Sharla. So I don't want to talk about anything else except this for now. Because I'm sure you heard all the machine, talk about the

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benefits of it. And all of these things that will, will come out of it. And that's exactly what we're gonna do, we're gonna do at turning negative into positive, for lack of a better word. And we'll talk about what do we do, before we kill each other,

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how we can actually enjoy this time together, and learn from it, and inshallah we can come out stronger, and even closer to one another. So remember, I just posted something about the covenant with taken further. So I'm going to talk about a few things a half an hour, 45 minutes that I have with you. First thing is, you know, just remind each other about the concept of the oath that we've taken.

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So when we are difficulties through this, we will remember the author, we've taken the pledge we've taken, we'll talk a little bit about the secrets about men and women. And these are the things that I wanted where we emphasize the factory mind me, first of all, like, and then my brothers and sisters, shortly after that, we'll talk a little bit about conflict resolution. So just the secrets of a bit of conflict resolution. And then you know, in the end, what can we do to have this beautiful, you know, happily ever after, come together with the white horse and six back in the hair line here, the birds and all of this lovely bollywood,

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hollywood shall love to do. So again, brothers and sisters, remember when we put your hand in her father's hand,

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I usually when I perform the guy, remember, I remind the brothers that you know what he's transferring the guardianship to you is basically telling you I've been looking after my daughter for all these years. And now it's, I trust you, they're going to be looking after my daughter. And that's basically what you're doing. I just posted it. Just a reminder before we post this. Remember that Java one day that you will hear your wife saying that Honey, I love you so much. And

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I've seen things together with you and and but the doctor told me I'm pregnant and when you prostrate to thank a lot for that. And you put your hand in it, I mean, you feel a kick. And you start picking names, picking colors, painting walls, and he cannot do it for the day to come because that they'll be called up. And you'll never forget that day, you'll never forget that he calls you up or for the first time or smile in your face, maybe forget the misery of the world, or raise their hand to be carried by you. And if you do a show on your heart right there. And then as you get the whole world in your heart.

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And you'll never forget the time sheet solitude or walk your own feet, walk them to school, somebody walks up to your door, just for handle marriage, so that you have to pay and that's how a father feels the way you will feel but you cannot get that till you have your own daughter.

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And again, brothers, please understand that we're not here trying to make it one sided. On the contrary robot

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sisters also that when you when you look at your husband, I understand that you may be looking at him a little more nowadays, but it's all on me.

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I want you to remember that this is your key for heaven. There's a master key.

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When we said the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam says when he's talking to men, Pharaoh completely from the sky. And he says meaning that I'm the best to my wife. And then he's asking us to follow suit because the last month that I spent

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a lot of debility

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tell them oh Mohammed, if you claim to love a love, follow me

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Have you. So if we look below we have to follow prophet because he says the computer

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is your role model S is what we follow. And he is rushman

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most unlike a lot of autonomy, so we understand the accepted me versity for all creation. So Allah, Allah reminding us

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regarding marriage, it says, Well,

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that's what I'm going to start with this workshop, which

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has a few minutes, and allows

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you brothers and sisters, this is how the relationship system says women. So brothers, when you look at your wife, you look at a beautiful miracle. So I know now this is they're gonna go You tell him shake? Go ahead. Yeah, you these guys don't know what we're talking about. They don't know how important we are. They take us for granted. So I'm just gonna talk to the brothers first and I'll talk to you.

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So when allows them How do you look at them and your brother says, He is telling you that this wife of yours is a miracle and Haleakala he created for you, that means he's a gift. And if you don't appreciate the gift, and you're not grateful to Allah for the gift that he's given you, you don't deserve her, she'll be taken away from you. Please be careful. Now, he says, well,

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that means you create a creator for you from you. That means if you harm your life as if you have yourself now the reason let us elaborate that

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she is your source of peace in support. And that's why I'm trying to tell you sisters indirectly, you're supposed to run to you for peace and tranquility not run away from you for peace. Yeah, just a reminder. And this is what you had when

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he made between the two of you the two pillars of that foundation of that marriage, this home, not a house. Oh, this is my wonder. And remember more than it didn't say my husband, my husband's love when you smell what it is the act of gentle compassionate forbearing love it's actually the source of love, or

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mercy. So why is it First of all, some of the video scholars at the beginning of the relationship my what the the act of compassion and gentle compassion for bearing love and all of that supposed to be in the lovely WPS knowing the honeymoon, you still love each other, you love each other.

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And you see that then in the end after a long healthy legislating one another, you don't want to get on each other's nerves. So when you do you have to have

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this and that's one interpretation. The other one is that my what that comes from you know, comes from your parents. So please in the in the meanwhile, what are your house in your house together so please, brothers, I asked them to do four things among them is helping us so I don't want you to sit back on the couch, do nothing and you know,

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have the nothing box because we can get everything else. I'm just watching this, I'm doing this give me the food. That means our Janala, you can't do that get out gonna do like what promises is not gonna help us. So it's a great way to start. And also, please understand that when you have this mercy

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and we said yes, and yes.

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He says in the case of that, it says this son is that is the oath you've taken. So let me remind you though, because when when the last product Allah placed this in the plan, so we don't take it, he says, Well hudon I mean comida de la she's taken astringent and the oath is according to Abdullah so he says why should our model deal with them in righteousness and what is not to be good and kindness but according the majority of the scholar says

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hold on to her in the best way possible especially now that you need each other as I mentioned before, the most of the places that I know of now all marriage boards and divorce courts are closed so you know what you got to deal with it? Whether you like it or not, I'll go through the conflict resolution shortly. But remember that so it says this is

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my roof

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hold on to her what is known to be good in every aspect and if things don't work out me protect you from that even if she's bad you're gonna have to be good that's what it is. So remember the reason that matter in America

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if you refuse but insist to being bad to me, I'm going to insist to be good to you

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how Allah told me to leave or do you have problems masala told me they were the only with it because I'm not gonna be held accountable for what you do to me. I will be held accountable what I'm doing. So this is what we're gonna go Okay, so concentrators so when we start with understanding that the bond understanding the oath all of that will have to understand that this is something a little more than we think so we don't take it for granted. So here we go. Let's go through the secret to job

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now the secrets are we talked about them you know men from Mars women are from Venus, we call it men from Mecca and Medina. So first of all, let me talk to you about men. And so what are the secrets? So please understand Okay, that you know when you sit together you know, I usually tell the brothers that remember my brother cheese you keep up with Prophet Mohammed Salim agenda, that's it? Yes. Because he says that he said motel

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this is the one that is beloved to me in my heart. And closest to me in the Hereafter is the one that is the best of character. And that's why probably Mohammed says that I've told you the key for you to be the best and when is the best this wife because she knows your character. So please understand that with us, the true character, it will come now, when you're all together. Nobody's working. You're been together for so long. What are you doing? remembering that when you squeeze an orange, you really know who you what you made up? When you squeeze an orange, the mango juice will not come out of it.

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There'll be orange juice and jello. You know, I love my mango lassi. I know what I teach courses around one day, I remember that brothers want to bring in mango, mango, let's bring it so gela Please understand, that's when we're gonna be squeezed really hard. I hope not together. No Java near each other. I know, I've heard some jokes, says you know what?

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We've been working from home for for a few weeks. Now. I think we're gonna kill each other before the virus does protect you from that. And so. So hopefully, you'll find something good that we will talk about at the end of this.

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So first secrets, are you ready? My dear sister, here we go. So, brothers, when I talk to the sisters, I want you to take notes and attack the sisters, I want the brothers to take notes when they attack the brothers I want this is the thickness and shallot. That's how we can complete each other. So about men, we talk about our feelings indirectly. So just ask him, you know, basically to find out. So it's not really a massive because remember that the two sides of the brain are coming into that are slightly different. So when I tell the brothers to look at your wife as a beautiful, delicate, beautiful tree, I am now asking you to look at her and not just a miracle. Look at her as

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Mac when you look at him. If you look at Microsoft, I talked about this before. That's the computer theory, right? So if you don't understand the computer theory, you cannot download it and you will understand oh my god I have here but this guy is now living with for that much time I need to know the secrets now what is the body language say? What did they think? How they think what side of the brain? And what does it mean? Are they emotionally based or physically based all that. So we'll go through that a little bit quicker this time, because of time. So the second thing of the men say I love you indirectly. So I understand.

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With actions, right? It's slightly different language. So if you if your husband,

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he can't say the word.

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Yeah, because some of us are born and raised somewhere else. When you say I love you to your wife is like, wow, he's not a man. Yeah. But that's cultural. So we'll come back.

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So the shows with their actions. So my dear sister, he is a keyboard. If your husband gives you a flower gives you a chocolate right to *, or gives you a ring or a dress or something. That's easy. You just take it as he's telling you I love it's a really simple fact. So that's why men get I get surprised to see you don't love me anymore. What are you talking about? Because it is simple. Because the brothers show it with their their actions. And unless you're born and raised in the western This is the norm is different, the culture is different. But if the majority of us are come from somewhere else, where we are not there yet, then take that as one. Because you know what the

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brothers will tell you, you know what I told you, I love you once, if anything changes, I'll let you know.

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So hopefully that's that's not gonna be the issue here. So the other one is make commitment seriously, when the brothers they can make a commitment to you they do take it seriously and why because it takes them a long time to commit. They get cold feet actually, when I perform what is it takes a long time. The brothers are so much pickier. They take their time because of the you know the what's going on and all of that but when they actually commit they have invested in you they've actually now they're getting to it they've put in a lot of time and effort into this. So they they're committed so they take it seriously believe it or not.

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Now, he's really listening but not really understand. Okay, so please understand also the the they will tell you the first thing that the men will lose is actually the hearing sets. So we have a selective hearing.

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So if you don't talk to him in the eyes are straight at you. And he has these this nodding

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tell him repeat what I said the brothers please when I took the communication course just whatever the university will blame for this. So the professor said you know what, I can give you the your certificate and you graduate. If you square shoulders, eyes locked up not once in a while, acknowledge what you said repeat what you said. And make sure that you give and so on and don't cut off and this is coming up inshallah, but this is what you want to do with your sister. Don't take it for granted that you're walking away from your husband. And you tell him Can you do this for me and he's got it. He doesn't use make sure that he is looking at you lock, lock eyes, square shoulders,

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and then I don't want to insult anybody's intelligence. But when you when you talk to your husband, just acknowledge it. Okay. Thank you. Any other

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By the way, when you tell him to do things, don't tell him what to do. So can you do me a favor? Yes. And when you start something, again, it's coming up a little bit later, but inshallah for that, please do make sure that you say, you do me a favor, honey, it's huge difference my man favor, dun dun da they have Yes, on the chest, I want to sure I want to save my demo, I want to do this job. So this is just what not what you say it's how you say, Okay, so the shared activities, form bonds, this is this is something that you want to do I tell the couples always I want a best friend, that's a lover.

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So I want you to have a common hobby. Together, I don't really know your home, maybe what you can do is I want you brothers to look at her and ask her what's your what's your hobby. So I want you to learn about her hobby. And I want you to ask your husband, what's your hobby, and learn about his hobby and have a common hobby.

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Whether it's, you know, walk it together, painting the walls together or cooking together, reading a manual a different way, walk down the memory lane, or, you know, watch the beautiful wedding videos, or pictures. If he hasn't tipped over it or torn it or

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anything like that. Don't don't remember the bad remember the good. redo your vows something that's fun together, it's really important to do so. Whatever it is something romantic hold hands. Maybe you want something that is fun together, start building that and remember it No, this is something I usually ask most of the time the sisters know the hobbies of their husband. Unfortunately, some of the husband don't know what their hobbies are. So it's time to ask, it's time to ask what your hobby is, and learn about it and have that as whether it's a book club, things about it, you know, watch something teary emotional, with your halaal girlfriend holding hands together.

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Maybe it's a good time now for renovations or doing something that is positive. So please make sure that if they bring him in as a best friend, also, please make sure that your best friend his lover, because that's exactly what lasts. Okay, then other secrets about your your husband.

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I mean, men need time for themselves. So I talked about the Maya theory before. And actually, I learned that from my wife. And that's the truth, you know, and she puts her name in my schedule, and I looked at the head of it one day.

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And so my wife's name on the schedule.

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That name sounds very familiar. This my wife, so I actually learned that from my office, my time, your time, our time.

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So in this case, that your whether your current Dean or your, you know, it's not really, as I said, self isolation, it's self discovery. And that's the way they're supposed to do beautiful words. So you're discovering what you're discovering something about yourself

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is discovered something that you have a lot to be thankful for a family, to love,

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friends to miss

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home, that security food on the table, a roof over your head, clothes on your back, the faith to hold on to so many things, you know what we stay home together now we actually take advantage of this and find out that we've always been happy, we've always had a boat to go for granted, it's nice to have to rediscover not just isolate, it's self discovery, not an isolation. So this is a time you know that you can so what I want you to do is also don't be with each other all the time. So the Maya is my time, okay, so my time is the you know, you stay on your own, you do whatever it is, have a little schedule or if your scope structure, if not, then you don't have an unwritten rule with one

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another. And what this is my time now we enjoy. So Honey, I love you very much, but I'm going to do something else. Now your time I'm now a case of you taking care of the kids out to get the kids you get to do whatever you want. And then our time we go on a date together, whether it's actually if we can go up and whatever it is hits, you can do whatever, and we're gonna do something together, whether we're gonna watch this thing together, we're gonna hold hands, we're gonna talk about it, we're gonna share a joke or whatever it is. Or we can listen to a you know, a pitcher or an or you you did today you do the helicopter, I do the holiday after this, you know that when it comes to the

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family, the F after the Oh, so when we have the date together, we don't talk about the things that are bad. We remember that. Yeah. Okay. So even though you may not be able to go outside,

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you can still have a little place so called your own, okay, so have a little tent and whatever it is that you have, even if you're allowed to go in the backyard, depending on the weather, in your localities, and so on. So then the F and that's where you have the family, so turn your house and domestic.

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You know, it's like a beautiful bond, right? But I asked the brothers because it's important, you know, instead of going to hospital neola protect us all. I want you to make sure that you suggest that your prayer matches your hospital. You know, when you go to see a doctor, that's when you make an appointment, but last,

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some closer. That's perfect time and your prescription. The RX is your way

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It's exactly what you want to do. And that's what the connection is all about, you know, you watch it on either laptop or, or a phone or whatever you see these that, you know, that's just that's the uplink with a love connection, or downloads how the you want a love to talk to you is what read the one you want to talk about, right as well as it. Yeah, so this is the time to come back, come back with your family, tell them the features and benefits and how allows them Hana Hana to somehow the sign of His mercy. And well we decree over content that whatever happens is good Toma stories of the of the difficulties that we're going through, explain it in the language, the you can speak and

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that's how we can bring the F and so my time, your time, our time, family time. So we're gonna bring him in, and delegate responsibility children now, son, I'm going to give this one mom we've got to do tomorrow, okay, then the older child child and go down that you can do whatever they teach them how to use the time, appropriately, invest in them, to be able to give them the tools to ask you how to prepare your love for the next helicopter, whatever they have. So that's the time where you need to resolve and also acknowledged.

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So also remember, among the secrets of men learn from the Father. So

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sometimes you don't just look at your husband, my sister also looked at the family that the Father is it's something else and we don't hold. Remember the in laws are separate, separate thing altogether. It's scary. All right. So please don't hold each other accountable for any of them. actions, and especially if you live together and all of that. So just keep that in mind. Okay, then, you know, basically,

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men go a little faster than women. So they let go, you know, sometimes the their don't communicate well. And unfortunately, in that case, they just go on a knee jerk reaction. Women usually plan things more, the man goes on a, you know, testosterone level, you know, the, you know, I'm the man with a man, you know, you can't say that. So the just keep that in mind. So don't get your husband there, please. You're the smarter intellectual

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gender of this and I want you to make sure that that this is your home. This is your nest. Yeah, bring him closer. Remember, that is good. So I want you to ask yourself a question. Does your husband run to you or run away from you? Are you the source of his peace and tranquility or not? and so on, so forth? So that's the case, inshallah, you will understand this one. Okay. So men don't pick up on subtle cues. So the cues if you're going to tell him, you know, is this a you know, if your husband forgot something, for example,

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I know what I'm celebrating stuff. I know your birthday, or your anniversary or something. Or, you know, you forget something. We panic when we when you assist us tell us that?

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You forget something Oh my God, I'm in trouble already. And we panic. So just don't go and some of us, does this dress me fat. So I'll tell I told you before, don't put your husband dilemmas I bought this dress doesn't make me look good. Only has to say yes. Or make it sound.

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So don't don't put us in that test. Because we don't have the sometimes we don't have the intellect to be able to make this whole play again about insulting intelligent brothers. But I'm just telling you to make it to make it subtle. So we don't we don't think so. Don't use right. Because if the sisters comes to you and says, you know,

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do you use anything different? Right? And then we go, Oh, my God. And that's a true story. My wife had a bar on your earring. She was actually dangling.

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Do you notice anything different ago?

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that my children behind her though? He's my wingman. Right?

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She had to go like this. Yeah.

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So we don't pick up subtle cues. So you know what, just help us through this. Like, you know, if you, I want you to imagine that we are taking you to the garage, lifting up the hood of the car and making you look at the engine? Do you notice anything different, right, we don't get it. So these are the subtle cues that we don't we don't get so please make sure that you need us through it and help us. So men respond to appreciation. So when I asked you to only ask for something I really appreciate when you do this. Yes. So you told them already. What it is, is positive reinforcement. Thank you so much for doing this or I appreciate it. Could you do me a favor? Right? So I don't give

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a command? Just ask for a favor. It's a huge difference in trauma. So men think about

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I guess, I was in Britain once and they told me don't use that word. Use * hearts. No, yeah, absolutely. No way. Gotcha. So men think about this a lot. So some of the actually the research shows that every six seconds. Unbelievable, you know, miscounted together.

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there and we're thinking about again, we're thinking about again. So I'm gonna tell you

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The public

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You know, when you have intimate relations to kind of like Seneca so you know what, take advantage of time men will give charity, you don't have to be rich, do charity, get busy, and make sure you get

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this beautiful and that's what I meant as

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you have this beautiful whims and desires of this last looked after. And on top of that, it's, it's

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just Can you imagine doing this the same act and unlawful means Will you not be punished for it just because yes,

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that means you will be

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you will be actually given a sort of avoid. So is it, this is a beautiful time to get to know closer to one another. And that's something that the scholars will actually tell you

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it's halaal it's time to get closer because of the oxytocin from the sisters and that testosterone from the villas, and it's actually the full field good

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hamdulillah chemicals and hormones in the body. So, it is a significant for the for the for the men of the because they are physically based remember that. So physically based when I talk about this, and I mean, physically based is actually a man finds a woman attractive first and they get to learn to love the woman who were attracted to women are emotionally based, which means they will be in love with them at first and they will learn to be

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attracted to the men they love. So please keep that in mind, my dear sister. So it means a lot I talked about the North Pole theory and and the South Pole theory. So the time is running a little faster, faster.

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So next after this and tell us we'll make sure that

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the men like pleasing their wives, believe it or not, I know that's may be difficult for you to understand. But we still want to feel that you're We're your hero, you are our number one customer, we look for your approval, we try to impress you believe it or not. So when you're happy with us, we are very happy. So if he makes the decision, you don't make them feel like you're an idiot. You know what, that was kind of stupid, the decision you made and all of that, even though take take the high road or if you want to tell him to do something, make it at least

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that is there is this idea. Right? So come around. Tell him you know what, what do you think of this? Any? Oh, I think of this great. Oh, wow, great idea. What do you think of that I have to use the Selma, so if they're pleasing you, wow, I come up with something. I'm the man.

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We already know that you're just at least let us live the fantasy that we are making decisions that we made in the house that may allow us on the job. Okay, so you know, please also understand of the that some of the main goes into stress, especially right now. And you know, maybe that he's worried about the earning the, the man of the house, the earning the bread, losing the job, and all of that is going to affect a few things, is I call it the hub read the wheel. Remember the hub inside of the wheel, that's the job for the man, ever. The oldest spokes, when it comes to his family life is your life, financial life, spiritual life, there's all of these things that come into the hub, when the

00:28:00 --> 00:28:17

man loses a job, it's very difficult because he loses. Because remember, he proved he proves himself and when he produces, you cannot produce anything. He doesn't feel like, you know, I feel hopeless, helpless and like a nail in the wheel that's going around. But that's basically it. So keep that in mind. Okay, and this time, so he will it will, it will help

00:28:19 --> 00:28:34

so many streets that are met. So if they're if you're not living that looked after, so I remember hearing it. They're like the you know, the bouncing ball. It's not looked after the bounces somewhere else. Okay, so please just keep that in mind. And again, we'll let him into

00:28:35 --> 00:28:37

just remember number one reason for divorce.

00:28:39 --> 00:28:55

Financial number two reasons is *. So please don't belittle that. Okay, so he is vested in you. So that means he's invested a lot and he really does care. But he may not show it. Just keep this little fuse and so this what, what I've

00:28:56 --> 00:28:58

noticed. Do

00:28:59 --> 00:29:37

you brothers, are you looking to Google? What systems remember a caring husband is a hot husband. Remember, as I mentioned, she's emotional. Yes. So when you give the emotion best an emotional investment of love and you will get that what you're looking for. So please remember that. So if you're caring and your emotion you have the touch love that doesn't have to necessarily have to say I love you all the time. I touch a kiss on the forehead a hug and note a text breakfast in bed a flower upon a chocolate a favorite chocolate you should know that by now. All of these things a caring husband is a husband so if you really want to be there you have to make sure that you're one

00:29:37 --> 00:29:42

of those siblings to open the door. So first deliver the kill.

00:29:44 --> 00:29:45


00:29:48 --> 00:29:59

I'm just saying doesn't work. So please, you know still I'm the old school type of guy. You know, I make sure that you know after you look after your wife first before anything, including into

00:30:00 --> 00:30:12

As we mentioned before, and that's your responsibility for you to make sure you look after those without. So Karen has been good enough as a husband. So that's basically what it is. So this time for us, I don't want

00:30:13 --> 00:30:14

to go home.

00:30:16 --> 00:30:28

Remember when we, when we get married, or those days, brothers, yeah, this nice, took showers smell good. All of that stuff, to give him the flowers, the poetry, the chocolate, all that stuff. And after we get married,

00:30:30 --> 00:30:32

I'm reminding you last night,

00:30:34 --> 00:30:36

whatever you're asking them to give them.

00:30:37 --> 00:30:46

Before you take, you have to give. And if you want to be followed, you have to lead by example. So if you ask, you have to look good, you have to ask your wife to smell good. You have to smell and so on and so forth.

00:30:48 --> 00:31:07

So dressed impressed because that's that's means a lot to woman shows as much as again, we'll let you remind me first before anybody else. So don't hide your flaws. It's okay. Women are actually good with that. I don't you don't have to think that you're infallible we are, you know, you become a little more looser to her. When you say you visor doubts, it's okay to make fun of your own

00:31:09 --> 00:31:19

silence, okay, just acknowledge that you're not perfect, and so on. So that that is very okay. So don't try to fix the world. Number one, she's talking to you.

00:31:21 --> 00:31:26

And you cut her off in the middle of the conversation. Please don't do that. Because she has to repeat the story from beginning

00:31:29 --> 00:31:50

to the end. And don't get me wrong. There's a secret she doesn't want. She doesn't want you to fix it just wants to listen. Yes, that's all she wants to do is to please listen attentively, here, here, here, and I'm here for you. Even if you think that is not the book, discussing the default, please don't go against her. Good idea. So please don't try to fix the wall just be there for her.

00:31:51 --> 00:32:05

Not it is not enough, by the way you don't you're gonna go through this, again, as I mentioned earlier, is this What's your mentality, let me let me reiterate that what you meant is how you feel, and so on. So just make sure that you're listening to her, we affirm with her confirm that.

00:32:06 --> 00:32:21

So women like to slowly and I know as I talk to women how to look after you, I talk to you Now, remember, you know the s the S theory. Remember, we like the s with the *, they like the s shopping.

00:32:22 --> 00:32:49

So I want you to think about it the same, you know, when when we go shopping, they go shopping differently, they like to browse, take the time, take this, pick it up, lift at different sizes, try this and the room around things as opposed to us. We want size 13 black shoes, laces or something I go in and try it fits, I take it I go in, get what I want and get out. Is that the same, right? So look at it, the one this morning, the wonderful play that I love.

00:32:51 --> 00:33:17

Even though the interpretation could be the children, but it could also mean somebody's opinion. So please make sure that the school name is taken, you don't go in your corner in the fifth year, you're going to first second and third. So please make sure that you understand that your peak is different. We think it's up and down. Their peak is up slowly, gradually and stay there and they go down slowly also. So please make sure that you understand the curve as a peak for us occur for them.

00:33:18 --> 00:33:19

Okay, so

00:33:20 --> 00:33:34

what you know, learn about what she wants. So please, open line of communication. What do you like to communicate with me? Because remember, sometimes we brothers, we think we got it, we don't got it, we're lost. I'm gonna tell you, I'm just telling you right now.

00:33:36 --> 00:33:53

25 years of marriage dude that we're still learning. Okay, so if you're married, you know what I'm talking about. So please, help tell her to help you. If you don't take it for granted. Because we think we got it, we don't get it. So again, I this is to help this poor guy to get you there. Well, we're all we're looking after each other as I told them.

00:33:55 --> 00:34:08

Also, you know, when when stress levels up, performance anxiety is shared. It's not just for men, it's also for women. So keep that in mind. So we'll talk about the mirror is a barometer of love.

00:34:09 --> 00:34:48

So you look into it flattering, like beautiful. I've always you know, your beautiful eyes are beautiful, they're beautiful lips, you beautiful figure, you're always the same and so on so forth. So please remember when you see your wife coming in, looking at this wonder that we're going to go into the specifics and the details. So when we talk about when when men look at things, they look at a bigger picture. They look at a general concept when women look at things, I want you to make sure that you understand this you also look at the specifics, to talk about specifics. You know, be still my beating heart, these flowers feel beside your beauty. You still look beautiful more than everyday

00:34:48 --> 00:34:59

than the first I've seen you these curves remind me of this and that how the hairs coming down that beautiful of all mothers and then you got to go into details but even when it comes to food when she's serving you

00:35:00 --> 00:35:08

I can't believe how the steak is from the outside, but get turned to me inside the beautiful grevious coming down a river juiced for the first time, I've seen you in the river Nile.

00:35:09 --> 00:35:19

And now I can also remember, wow, look at the beautiful garnish how the political nation, how the juice complements it, and how the Poconos Emily post will be so proud of you. And that beautiful swan that you've done as

00:35:20 --> 00:35:35

all these details you're going to have, you're going to eat again. And you're also going to have that again. So please be generous with the flattery generous with that. Don't overdo it. But I mean, just make sure you talk their language, not your language. So you're going to go into specifics, doesn't mean

00:35:37 --> 00:35:40

we're going to go into specifics on the Buddhist principles and how they look for us.

00:35:41 --> 00:36:09

And also acknowledge the fact that the time that we spend trying to do this first. So this is a couple of things that I wanted to share with you and say it again, and again, remember, they don't get rid of, they don't get sick of saying, you know, I love you and remember, and so on. So as I said, you don't have to say the word I have to show it. So I'm gonna ask you for some homework, and then how to actually show your love how to save it, and so on. So when they want to talk, don't be afraid, can we talk, this relationship talk, we'll pull it up, it's okay.

00:36:11 --> 00:36:23

But as long as you're able to handle it, anticipate that make sure that you do your homework deposit in that emotional bank, because you cannot just withdraw, don't go overdrawn. After deposit in the emotional Bank of love, and so on, Julie, you're good to go.

00:36:24 --> 00:36:37

So I want you to also look at your partner and your eyes. So the way that you look at each other when we talk about the five pillars of Islam, and it has to do with five pillars of marriage. You see when we say this

00:36:38 --> 00:36:43

abundance, it's actually a verbal commitment from the creation to creator. So I want you

00:36:49 --> 00:36:49


00:36:51 --> 00:36:51


00:36:52 --> 00:36:53


00:36:55 --> 00:36:56

same same thing

00:36:57 --> 00:37:03

to increase the vulnerable. So please make sure that we don't take this. And we also give our money away to

00:37:05 --> 00:37:07

others versus each other, which helps

00:37:09 --> 00:37:10

to stay away from

00:37:12 --> 00:37:12

when it

00:37:14 --> 00:37:20

was time to get your senses are making sure this now does it properly.

00:37:21 --> 00:37:21

But also

00:37:32 --> 00:37:34

so keep the romance alive.

00:37:35 --> 00:37:39

Don't ever take things for granted. Don't stop dating. And

00:37:40 --> 00:37:44

as I mentioned to you before, before we get married and after get married, have the

00:37:55 --> 00:37:55

immune system now.

00:37:58 --> 00:37:59

Are you doing the right

00:38:01 --> 00:38:01


00:38:03 --> 00:38:08

So, please understand that this is something that you know, women are the strongest

00:38:10 --> 00:38:10


00:38:24 --> 00:38:25

No, I don't think so. Forgive me.

00:38:30 --> 00:38:30


00:38:32 --> 00:38:32


00:38:35 --> 00:38:37

I don't know. It's there.

00:38:50 --> 00:38:51


00:38:55 --> 00:38:56


00:39:06 --> 00:39:08

right. So this is Robin Sharma. Okay, so

00:39:11 --> 00:39:12

let's recap.

00:39:13 --> 00:39:18

But let's have a common hobby together with one another. The secrets of

00:39:22 --> 00:39:37

holding things together have a structure to think in the morning and breakfast together. So let's maybe walk around this this workout together. This memorize plan together. Let's remember how we can renovate together with each other's hobbies. Let's have this.

00:39:38 --> 00:39:42

And let's come out of this stronger and so there's a lot

00:39:43 --> 00:39:59

to go there at this time. But we can learn about each other, learn about ourselves and we can strengthen the job. So take advantage of time before you don't have one another don't take each other for granted. And then Joe we can come on this stronger, stronger house.

00:40:00 --> 00:40:21

Stronger home, stronger spouse stronger children and inshallah we'll look protect you protect your family health and wealth I thank you for being part of this and they thank you for inviting me to your home. Now this apology that you make make your home a home sweet home is that Baraka logic A while ago Malika May Allah protect your loved ones to panic alarm COMM The nationalist group

00:40:22 --> 00:40:23

in America

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