The meaning of marriage and family life in Islam

share this pageShare Page
Akram Nadwi

Channel: Akram Nadwi

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:04--> 00:00:32

Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala rasulillah Muhammad Ali he was Harvey Malina maga altavilla he initiated my regime. Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem. Well Maya haluk to our inside La Jolla, Abdul Allah Allah wa booni hada surah to Mr. de la pardon me Yes, Allahu Allah to sell them on nikka Femina, suniti rocastle Allahu alayhi Salaam former reebonz una de la sameen follows them in

00:00:34--> 00:00:53

my dear brothers and sisters, this is a part of this course, which is the Muslim life in our time in the modern time. So 100 lie taught last month, you know, of course, the beginning of the course introduction of everything and the personal life of believers. Now, it is a family life

00:00:55--> 00:01:36

in this one I will cover each other the main topic, so you can wait it, you know, further, you know, when the time comes the first thing, the importance of the marriage I have described inshallah discuss. Then after that I'll come, you know, what, who are the women owner, we cannot marry, or who are the men women cannot marry. So we have to know them who cannot marry. And then after that, I'll discuss it, what is the purpose of marriage? Why the mother of marriage in Islam. And then after that, we'll discuss how to choose your partner, you know, men want to choose it for the future wife, what are the quality they are going to look or similar women what they have to look at, in the

00:01:36--> 00:02:16

marriage. And then after that, I'll discuss the contract and the details of the contract and the Wali in regards, should we have guard against or not and Shahada witness, and then after the dowry mother, in the marriage, and then in the announcement of the marriage, I end up in a party and, and feast and celebration. And then after that, how to live together, you know, once the marriage has happened, how the men or women are going to live together, to that's very important to learn. And then after that, you know if something goes wrong, how to solve the problem. And even though I'm the one solution, also in Islamic divorce, too, I discuss divorce or divorce news. And then after that

00:02:16--> 00:02:40

waiting period, and then I'll discuss, you know, how to raise the children and who the guardianship and when the divorce has been, you know, who's going to look after the children what the rights are, the women are, what the rights of the men in the matter of the children. And then are then in one go to discuss the importance of taqwa of Allah, and a Sabra in the whole relation. So that will be the Indic part of that inshallah will come.

00:02:41--> 00:03:17

You know, certainly this course early on this, especially this one is very helpful for everybody, you know, those who want to marry, and those who are already married, they need to learn many of these things, you know, from financial I'll, I'll make effort to teach you from the Quran. And from the sooner the personal, Alice alum, and also from the experience or the jurist, and all Emma, how they have been teaching this the subject properly, you know, our other attention should be not to father desire, rather than obey obedia should be that, you know, think that we have to obey, we have if Rifai find as a certain teachers, we have to learn how to implement it, how to follow that, to

00:03:17--> 00:03:55

once you make your mind to follow, not to basically to be followed, you know, then inshallah, the burqa, and the blessings will come in your life, and also the people who are older, you know, they need to learn many of these things, because, you know, they are the ones who have made the Arabic probably the married life. Now young people don't want to marry when to see the problems, to people need really to understand the merge and to solve the problem. And one thing, keep in mind, Islam does not depend so much on the state and the power, but it's the law certainly depends very much on the family life. If the family life is not, you know, properly occurred to Islam, it really will

00:03:55--> 00:04:33

affect Islam, Islam would still be affected Islam will be harmed. In that, why in Islam, you know, family life is much more important. And that why family life itself has become alborada. People get rewarded when they get together. I know I always tell the people, you know, if you marry, and you're suffering, and then maybe you divorce, you get more reward than the people who don't marry because they're scared. You know, if you face probably for the sake of Allah, you get married, you get divorced. You know, many men are made twice, three times four times, the people who actually do this, you know, this relation in over the marriage, they have so much reward they cannot imagine the

00:04:33--> 00:04:47

Don't worry about your problems and all those things that why human beings, you are there to share the problem, but not America is not not a virtue, virtue is to marry virtue to move you forward, unless not a mere defect in the life of the people to that we have to understand.

00:04:48--> 00:04:59

So in sha Allah, they mentioned I discuss all those things, but few points I want to make very clear that you understand actually what what marriage actually is and this will help you for your life in the future and

00:05:00--> 00:05:03

Notice that you can revise them and go through them all the time.

00:05:04--> 00:05:45

One thing I want to make clear to you that in unless authorized made in this life, certain files, those facts, you cannot change, you have to accept them. And actually, some efforts are made by Hilda and submitted by human being, but the files are five, so you have to accept them. And you have to basically make effort to adjust your life around those types to further prefer traveling from here to Birmingham, or to Manchester anywhere. So it is not that you know, you you travel as you like, there are certain facts, you don't have many more choices, you basically either you can travel by car, then you have to follow the motorway, the roads are by coaches or by trails, but it's not

00:05:45--> 00:06:21

that you know, you can do what you like, there are facts, which are there, you have to adjust your life to those types. If you're trading by train, the train has its own timing, you can't change it, just because you want to be a certain place or certain time, you can't change it, those fires must be understood properly. So Allah has made life like that people have to understand there are certain fights, you have to accept them you have to understand them and make your life to go around him. When people don't understand this factor, the key filling in these FAFSA you know for our purpose, I can divide them into two categories

00:06:22--> 00:06:25

for Thrall facts and social facts

00:06:27--> 00:06:33

if you don't understand what personal facts are, you keep doing mistakes, if you don't understand what social facts are, if you keep doing mistakes,

00:06:34--> 00:07:06

both are two different categories. And they should be understood properly. What personal effects music for example, you know what I eat and drink this my personal Mitel is a person of five you know, you know I have a house, I my my kitchen, I cook whatever like I don't care about people around me what they eat, what drink you know, what suits me what my culture what I like, and then I can I know I can eat and drink. So this is a person affected my kitchen will reflect to me my personal choice, my personal taste, but tell me if I open a restaurant

00:07:08--> 00:07:44

and I offer food for the people there is a personal psychosocial set to social service. Now I cannot sell the food that I like, I have to sell the food that people like my customer like I have to know their their interest, their choice, what they choose. Now the pitcher in the restaurant would be different from the kitchen in my house, it would not be cooking the same thing to you know I should not be confused I should understand two things differently. In a kitchen in my house it different from the kitchen in my restaurant. And in my restaurant is actually the area where the people live from South Asia, then I have to understand their choice. But if the if the my restaurant is an area

00:07:44--> 00:08:11

where people at Western people live like English people, I have to know that their choice. If my restaurant is in a place where other people live, then I know their choices. These are social facts, you cannot change them. If you treat your restaurant as your personal place of mutual interest on as your own kitchen of the house, you will keep feeling you have to make effort to understand the difference between the personal files and difference between the social facts. There are two different things

00:08:12--> 00:08:52

in the life you have gotten married which are personal, you're eating you're drinking maybe also your cloth, your alborada How to worship. These things are your personal matters. You know you do decide to As You Like It doesn't matter what other people think. But certainly in the life there are many things which have social facts. If you refer in those cases your personal taste of personal choices, you will keep harming harm will come certainly you have to understand the two different facts that they are not same thing. Marriage is a social fact. Marriage is in Islam of every life in it not only Islam, anywhere. Family Life is a social fact. It is not a personal fact.

00:08:53--> 00:08:56

Meaning is when a man or woman they get married.

00:08:58--> 00:08:59

It is not a personal matter.

00:09:00--> 00:09:42

They are going to create a basically a social entity. They're going to create a family. These two people they make a family, family different from your personal life. Family is not the same thing. Do you think really I'm what I'm when you My family is still with same thing. Not same thing. You're in a once is when you get married, you basically having a new life at that actually this is now social factor. Now basically man or woman, they have to think though the interest which are the interests of the family, not your personal interest, interest. It still there's something personal but meaning the the family will be preferred over anything else. Now husband wife, they should not

00:09:42--> 00:09:59

go further. You know for their personal choice, Father personal taste. You have basically make a new entity in a family life every couple of different metal. It is no more you know your personal matter. It could be that before Maria, you used to sleep whenever you wanted do the daytime, nighttime this

00:10:00--> 00:10:40

Time that time when you get married. Now you have to understand really, what is the time best time for sleeping for my family? You know, what if what, how can I help to build my family, you know, and when my children actually are grown up children, what will be the best thing for them how we're going to teach them, you have to change your circle to this nose, new social effect, to distract to understand properly, it could be that you eat whatever you like. But once you've got family, you have to think really, that the fool should be some tools to help my family and also to my income and also does something really could be healthy for my children to win the grown up in their mind

00:10:40--> 00:11:03

reverting to I have to think about that both of you have now to think about the interests of the family. This thing we shall come later on we're gonna discuss to you that how to choose your partner to it keep in mind that a marriage in Islam is a social fact. Not only in slavery anywhere, people don't marry a social threat, the key feeling, you know, might not like you know,

00:11:04--> 00:11:43

it like a food, you bought a food they wanted to eat you didn't like, they'll buy another one. You know, it is not a personal choice, it medically much more serious matter. It is it is it is social fact it is not only within like we don't like it, it is basically the whether it is going to serve the purpose for which it is allowed to marry or not. To if you find a wife, looking her, is she the right person to make this family or not? Is this the right person to be mother of my children. If you find a man you want to marry him, don't think about your personal choice again is what you need to think really this person is going to be the right person to be father of my children, is the

00:11:43--> 00:12:06

right person to run the family properly, is the right person who can control his emotions and an anger in for the sake of the use the interests of the family, there was a need to know the marriage basically a social fact it did not, it is not a personal effect. Once you understand this thing, it will help you a lot meaning his daughter Mary father enjoyment,

00:12:07--> 00:12:50

you youth, maybe you can eat food for the enjoyment is even better Good to have you. But your personal matter, you want to you know, destroy your life you can do. But marriage basically is not for the enjoyment, try to understand early marriage is basically in Islam. If you know social factor, which has got to I suspect very strongly. One is to know is a function. And the second thing is responsibility. That actually what is marriage is to make family a function. And second thing is responsibility that my responsibility in this family life is as a man to provide accommodation to provide expensive to look after variable properly. My responsibility in this family I the wife is to

00:12:50--> 00:13:27

look after the children to raise them properly, to help my husband in order to make the house actually move in the right direction. That's my responsibility. So this is a social factor, which has got two wheels you can say one is to know it's functioning properly, the function of the married to make a family, nothing else really no enjoyment. If people want to marry for the enjoyment, they should forget the marriage. If Allah wanted to make marriage for enjoyment, there's so many other ways, but in marriage, never never for enjoyment to people think about their enjoyment enjoyment higher than mere they're to put on trip, how can you marry who wants to have burden off you know, a

00:13:27--> 00:13:46

family to sort of put like, you know, like food, you know, do really want to you know, if things really what eating meals. If you look at the process of eating in New York and eating, you take basically what happens to you chew the food and mix it of saliva, that actually what happens first chew the food with saliva and the take it out, take it again.

00:13:47--> 00:14:25

But that was really, you know, the food, the process of eating food is very, very dirty. It is something nobody can actually think to have. But why eat food and less water made enjoyment there to you enjoy that. That's why he wants you to eat because if you don't eat, you can die. But you know, you're not going to eat because you don't have enough energy. You only can eat when there is some enjoyment to enjoy and met in the family life is not because that's the purpose that will lead to make unit trip to make you to marry the basic reason to try to understand daughter look. enjoyment is not the purpose of marriage. If people marry for enjoyment, they certainly should not marry they

00:14:25--> 00:14:59

still too young to marry, that understand the marriage properly. They don't understand what a marriage means. Never never marry for the sake of the enjoyment. Maybe you get enjoyment, maybe more enjoyment and but that that always must be secondary matter. There is no matter for the real thing in the married life actually is that what I've said to you, it is actually social fact not a personal effect. In fact, it is not to give you enjoyment. It is basically to create a new family and a lot less from the videos to make a family's love never can go you know, move unless they're a family that we're in this what you need to understand the Foxborough

00:15:01--> 00:15:41

And then understand the responsibility properly, not the rights, you know, not right, you know, in like modern times reason that all the things are centered around you. So you are a circle, you are my sister, sister, you are my brother, you are my father, you are my son what to do for me all the time you look at it from that angle that you know, everybody had writer, you know, duty towards you. This is very wrong. really the way to look in Islam is I am your brother, tell me how can I help you, you are my son, I'm going to help you. I am your son, I am going to help you. You know I am in I'm your father, I'm going to look after you. I'm your friend, not as you are my friend, you have

00:15:41--> 00:15:58

this thing or when I was around you center, this very vitamin, this actually has ruined the life and everything properly No, in this world to try to understand the real real awareness like is this life. The way is to know your duties and responsibilities properly, not your rights.

00:15:59--> 00:16:27

If you're not distinct properly, you have such a nice family life, does it get everybody to water fasting in marriage is not a personal fact. It is a social fact. It basically has got two parts. One is to know the function of the marriage. And second thing is to understand the responsibilities properly and clearly. And then marry for that purpose, keeping that in mind that you might marry. There's one thing I wanted to tell you for a very beginning. Second thing is

00:16:28--> 00:16:32

I mentioned marriage is not for enjoyment. Marriage in Islam is

00:16:34--> 00:16:35

a bother you typically worship of Allah.

00:16:37--> 00:17:07

In the Avada it doesn't really matter whether you enjoy or don't enjoy. Lacking while Allah has commanded me to do fudger prayer, it doesn't really matter to me, whether I slept in the night will or did not sleep over time isn't really what matters to ob ob. I get up early morning doodoo and go for the prayer. And when I pray, I become so happy that actually happy happiness comes after fulfilling your duties properly. In a restaurant, when a cook make food and he thinks that customers eat properly they enjoy

00:17:08--> 00:17:45

his happiness comes to you know from doing his duty properly. To in Alibaba, you get happiness, but once you have done your either properly in a married life, happiness comes when when your duty properly equals you raise family proper, your children properly, look after your wife properly, and dissertation you got satisfaction, this happiness, the real happiness, that real happiness comes you know, in the in the intellect properly to try to understand it. Marriage basically is a bad it is not an enjoyment. It has not been made to be enjoyed. And when people are confused between the means and the problem of key fremennik to understand properly marriage what a bad marriage basically is

00:17:45--> 00:18:27

not to please yourself. But to police is a law that isn't clear to everybody. The difference between Alibaba and other is what what people are other hybrid to police themselves. A bada is to please Allah, marriage is not to please yourself. It believes Allah subhanaw taala when it comes to raising him, then basically my happiness doesn't really matter. If my daughter happy with me, I am happy. You know, it doesn't matter really whether, you know, maybe my wife usually does not respect me properly. But no, I still keep religion because it pleases My Lord. My Lord wants me to say because he wants it to family properly. I don't care about my own happiness, I really want what I'm

00:18:27--> 00:19:05

interested in. If I lead happy, I don't care. You know, I can sacrifice my life, my enjoyment for the sake of Allah sent the women thing. You know, I'm agreeing this religion only for the sake of fun. I want to get no help for this family. Now, my husband does not understand my POTUS does not actually appreciate my work, did not respect me properly. It doesn't matter to me what matters to me, that my Lord that He knows, he knows what my husband does not know. He respects me when my husband does not respect me. What matters to me what my Lord, I'm history, not my husband said to try to understand proper slavery to Allah, not to slavery to the husband or the wife, marriage and

00:19:05--> 00:19:06

Ali Baba.

00:19:07--> 00:19:21

Why we insisted that marriage Ali Baba that I want to teach you in detail, because that will help you properly in this life. If you ask anybody, that what is the purpose, what you look in the life properly, two people say

00:19:22--> 00:19:54

that you are looking for happiness, we want to know happiness, success, everybody believes and believes everybody look into life, happiness, they want to be happy, they want to have a happy life, everybody for this happy life, what the thinking like in the modern time, what the thing if you want to have a happy life, you need to do certain things, one is good education is study properly good, get a good degree from one of the good university in the world. He will work in a Cambridge or Oxford or something like that. People want to have a good degree from good university. Then what then how can happiness come? Then the thing if you can get a good degree then you can get Good job.

00:19:54--> 00:19:59

Good money will come good job. Then how the happiness will come then this is all working happily.

00:20:00--> 00:20:36

Didn't know happiness interesting anyway, then the say after that I'll buy a house. I get house, okay, you got a house. So what will happiness come? After that I'll get a wife, then what will happen is, then I've come home. But actually it didn't happen. You do all those things, the nice two people get a degree people to get a job, people who get a device, and it's still not happy, you can see, you ask all the people who after such a long time, and normally, some of my friends, my students from Oxford, I know has been why both from Oxford, they learned people clever people, and they fell in love with each other. And they got married, but they're not happy. So many clubs, and I

00:20:36--> 00:21:02

keep making effort to solve the problem sometimes reconciled between them. Sometimes works sometimes doesn't work is not happy, clever people. They've got house, they've got money. They've got family, they've got wife, and wife, you know if see no man married woman graduated from Oxford. And she's married to a man graduated from Oxford. And good job good. Bye, still they are not happy. Tell me what goes wrong, what has gone wrong? Really?

00:21:03--> 00:21:15

Why why people are not happy, what is what is missing there? What is missing there is really easy. That first thing is that you are looking for your happiness in the workplace.

00:21:16--> 00:21:44

You know, this is not this is not how to make you happy. Second thing really is telling me? No, you can't you only can expect a certain outcome from something which you make. for Apple you think really that I get a degree I get a job, I get a house and then get I work life. I become happy. It depends actually if all these things are made by you, then outcome but your wife is she made by you by made by someone else.

00:21:45--> 00:22:18

Made by Allah subhanaw taala she's not made by you, your husband? Is he made by you. He made by less problem really easy. You have very little in all these matters. you're happier, how can all the things that agree on which your happiness depends? actually depends on someone else and not on you. The How can you come to your house and you think really that you know I have worked so hard all the day, and I come across my wife will be welcoming me or seeing with the happy face and nice smiling and nice food is similar coming and you interact, how there are no school at the food. Now you become

00:22:19--> 00:22:38

upset that all the day I have been waiting for either and no food, you went to the kitchen, nothing, no cooking there, and your wife in order and other she's in the bed. And when you're there, she said I'm not feeling well. or nothing really, you will be so upset. But it and try to understand properly because you think really the life will be running as you desire. You know,

00:22:39--> 00:23:18

it doesn't matter whether you study in Oxford, or Cambridge or anywhere. It's not good to run by you. Because basically your wife before she listened to you, she listened to her Lord, if her Lord makes her ill when she has to be ill. It is not because my husband is respect for me certainty she already must be ready unless Mata is the one who's commander. He's, he's the one who does. Same you know, look at your life. You know to know that you know you do whatever you like. So many times you like something but don't happen, because you don't make your life in this life simple to understand properly, everything on this, you think your happiness depends. None of them are owned by you. And

00:23:18--> 00:23:25

none of them are made by you. If you understand this properly, then we move to the nesting shell first what we want us to understand, tell me Even you

00:23:26--> 00:23:27

are you made by yourself?

00:23:29--> 00:23:35

You think you've got to study in Oxford or Cambridge because it's so clever. Tell me your cleverness. Your mind is it made by you.

00:23:36--> 00:24:11

The way your mind is isn't made by you made by someone else. You know all the opportunities that you have to study in Oxford or Cambridge, this opportunity is given to you by you. There are so many people you know in India or Pakistan, maybe they're more clever than you but there's also the opposite Allah made to be born there. They can't come here that people born in Syria now in the war, they can't come here. This opportunity that you were in you can study now what what do you see? Is it made by you, your parents who wanted to study in Oxford or Cambridge Are your parents made by you? There's so many parents who don't want this thing

00:24:12--> 00:24:18

to look around you you yourself really whatever you have got nothing in the middle you

00:24:19--> 00:24:44

know you if you think really that my happiness depends on what I want, but you're this item that existed, whatever you say I it's not yours. That no I will in this matter your mind and not belong to you. Your body does not belong to you, your parent not belong to you. You do not make them separate and none of them you made you do not make your planet you will not make your mind you've not made your body you did not make it even the language that you speak

00:24:45--> 00:24:51

in why things are easier for you in this country because you grown up speaking English language, but did you make English language?

00:24:52--> 00:25:00

When you born language was already there. You did not make anything properly. What do you what do you have made actually what you are thinking for

00:25:01--> 00:25:15

And then he will look in all the process really. That is whatever you think mine nothing you're there what should be the right attitude in this life that you have. If once you understand really that in this life, nothing is made by me

00:25:16--> 00:25:56

and nothing is owned by me. Do you own your eyes? No, it isn't that you can sell them or if it does, you can buy them. They have been given to you. Do you own your your mind? No. It is given to you people who have made people have no less mind whatever you know, anything in this life is given to you. Nothing they want to buy you know try to understand nothing, none nothing in your life. You know it basically owned by you don't own anything. It all actually given to you as a gift. Whatever you have gotten your parrot or gift, your family's gift, the language we speak is a gift. You know your mind is a gift your body the way it is in a gift. The color that you have got is a gift given

00:25:56--> 00:26:12

to you. Nothing is made by you. You did not make anything you don't own anything of your you know your body or anything around you you don't own anything. What should be the right attitude in this matter really, if nothing is belongs to you nothing. You're the way they look actually Whose is this?

00:26:14--> 00:26:37

Who has so much love for me that he gave me mine who loves me so much that you make adjustments as a nice family who loves me so much he gave me so much desire, who loves me so much. Who is this? Do you know from your Lord Allah before you're born he thought who made you? You did not actually. So just to have to make your eyes something like that. To what is the right attitude right which was basically his

00:26:38--> 00:27:17

diet, whatever he gave you, thank you. Because you did not deserve that. Did he gave you because he did tell me Did I deserve to ISO he gave me one of the problems of family life or whether men or women they say I deserve more than that. Actually, even the even the phrase people say I deserve more than I went to my you know my friend's house, he only gave me water. He did not give me any food. I certainly am his friend. I deserve more than that. To this tip that you deserve more than that. This is not a writer to you really. Don't tell your Lord that you deserve more than what you have that don't tell me whatever you've got agree it is more than you deserve, not deserve anything.

00:27:17--> 00:27:45

Because you do not exist. He's the one who made you to try to understand probably whatever you've got, you did not have any right to get it. You never deserve it. You do not own anything that had been given to you. You do not buy any that has been given to you. Neither you neither your parent nothing actually by you. But basically this idea that I deserve, it should not exist. We don't deserve anything, we don't own anything. And we don't deserve anything.

00:27:47--> 00:28:25

If I got something, it is a gift to the island at all. And whatever I got it is more than I deserve. I deserve anything anyway. Is it clear to everybody try to understand properly once you understand it, you know really what to how much you have got. You know once you get to your mind, if your parrot you know are certain other people they are more than you deserve, there are people who are sent you in the you know you will in the life The first thing I tried to understand is that in this life whatever you have been given nothing is that you own it has come to you as a gift whatever has been given to you nothing You deserve it or where the more than you deserve more than you deserve

00:28:25--> 00:28:51

you don't deserve this tick take out from your mind this first if taken when you come to your house and if your wife did not make food for proper properly for you don't tell the people that see I came to my house and she did not make it it is a daily I deserve more than that. No, you should not say that. You should not say I deserve this deserving thing. Take it out this is the problem really too first thing be humble know yourself properly. I do not own anything

00:28:52--> 00:29:02

whatever I got is a gift from my Lord. I don't deserve anything whatever I've got actually favored from my route he favored I don't deserve by gave me this favor.

00:29:03--> 00:29:48

When you do this what will happen? Then you think then with Thank you Lord, whatever you got really think properly. You know, you come to your house, your wife did not make food for you did not receive nicely and she is in in the bed. If she's not feeling well. What is okay, take my daughter that you know she is still alive, you know? And I asked her so to make her to decode something else to happen was to always look what you've got. Always look always be positive. So let's look at what you got to thank Allah, whatever about what you've got from him. And then be patient. Do some for what you did not get it simple in this life, really between soccer and soccer.

00:29:49--> 00:29:57

I don't deserve anything. Whatever I got is a gift from my Lord. favor. My Lord, whatever he has given me, I thank him

00:29:58--> 00:29:59

whatever I expected, but I do not

00:30:00--> 00:30:39

Get it. I don't complain, because I don't deserve anything. But I can ask my Lord, I'm patient, I don't I'm not going to complain, my Lord has given us so much anyway, he has given us so much, you know so much if you are continually you know, somebody has to buy your eyes, thinking about how how precious your wallet has given you, it is so much. The way is what a shocker. Thank you for what has given you on the sliver for watching, don't have self proper and ask him properly to he said, Len Shakur to let us see the knuckle if you thank me, I will give you a more difficult this attitude will make life so nice. You cannot imagine really, you know, even if you're not married it this is

00:30:39--> 00:31:14

what you need to learn, really, you need to learn in this life. That whatever I've got is, is just pure a gift from my Lord, nothing I want, and nothing I deserve. Whatever is given to me as a gift or a favor, that I thank you so much has given me I do not do anything for him. So much has given me He made me to be born to see this this world. And then he gave me opportunity that I can work hard to get paradise eternal life and paradise, he has given us so much I should thank for fulfilling to gratefulness to become. So that actually is very important. So sugar on the server.

00:31:16--> 00:32:00

This shoukry, the first starting point of Alibaba, that after I told you that marry Alibaba, I want uncolored to that the super basically is a starting point. But once you know understand this properly, then you know what to do, you will know really okay, since this ought to have been given to me, by my Lord, and I thank him, then I should use them either my lord once, then why not? I want because not mine anyway. Then your eyes, if you do not make them, and you did not actually own them. And it is given by someone is asking how to use it. If you use if he wants, he'll, he'll help you more. You know, your tongue has been given to you to ask him what was the purpose of tongue is what

00:32:00--> 00:32:41

function the tongue? And how should I use? If you make this? If you think No, it is my I can see whatever I like. So Ted is not your right, he's got to be angry with you. He's given time, but certain punishment, because he thought you were I understood properly. Since everything has been given to you by him, you have to learn from him how to use it. that next step after sugar directly rely by the cops, if it's obey Him, and stuff from you know, the disappearance of him just very much the beginning of the quarter sugar thanking and so quickly makes you to realize you are not independent to us as you like. You have to use it is the one who gave it he was basically meaning

00:32:41--> 00:33:19

it, you have to please Him you have to make effort to obey Him, not us don't obey yourself. Obey your master, the one who gave you the one who gave me my eyes, I have to obey to him, the one who gave me tongue, I have to obey him how to use it. And I have to obey that as you can say, you know, sometimes people can use abusive words against their wives and their thing, nobody listens. But Allah listens, the one who gave you the one who can harm you most he listens. Why you why you scare other people? Can they hurt me? Maybe they can harm a little bit. But tell me who can harm me more in the in this world, Allah, the One who can harm you the most. You don't care about him. The ones

00:33:19--> 00:33:49

who gave everything, don't care about him. And people do really people have silly people humiliated people, because the thing nobody knows, tell me if nobody knows, Allah knows. And certainly Allah can harm you more than he can benefit you more than anybody else and he can harm you more than he will say, thank Him, He will recognize you. And if I obey Him, He will he will really respect you and appreciate your opinions. If you don't listen to him, certainly go to Harvey the sugar basically leads you to obey laws, you know properly.

00:33:50--> 00:34:12

This thing if I want to teach you properly, in other words, basically simple thing in this world to have to understand is this universe have made it really is run in two different worlds. Two different ways. It is, it is run in Oh by the way, in by those laws, which God has made you know

00:34:13--> 00:34:30

gente Allah has got two bit two main attributes. One is his luck and one is Allah. Try to understand these attributes of the verb anila. What Ramiz Raja means is a creator is a master to when He created you, he created to certain qualities.

00:34:32--> 00:34:39

The Academy you need to eat you need to drink you need to have sex relation. You know so much. I love His mercies like that.

00:34:40--> 00:34:45

Then he's Allah has come He commanded you how to use those things.

00:34:47--> 00:35:00

To follow through you can eat and drink and cut. His part is Robert he made he need energy you can eat and you can eat you drink whatever like you can do. But if you think really that it came from him, I should obey the

00:35:00--> 00:35:20

Kayla Olivia, the thing really in this world, unless amatola wants you to follow those laws, which for me is not what comes from Iran. If you follow him those laws which come from a law, Delhi, he will come happy if for those laws which come from as Rob, he never

00:35:22--> 00:36:04

got to eat and drink. Because yes, you want to enjoy it, you know, eating and drinking Academy sounds like no believers and we're just too bossy to drink. Is it good to make him happy? No. But it's, you know, I need to eat it. But let me think really, how my Lord, what my Lord was between and how to eat, how much to eat, I should listen to him. When you think like that, he was happy. You'd also same thing like no, but when you change your attitude, you think No, I should eat really, that is what my lord has allowed me and the amount he allowed me it because elevada meaning receiving the dose Pavani in those laws, which Allah made is a law. That is a bother follow those laws, which

00:36:04--> 00:36:42

Allah made it rather, it did not only bother if people just eat and drink to police themselves, it is not only by the way people eat and drink it the way along was it really bother. Similarly, people basically by nature, they want to have relation men and women. And the children will happen by initially happening whether you want to don't want to will happen if you have a relation. This is this part of the movie. Yeah. But no, no, this this desire is there. Let me see how my Lord wants to happen. He wants me to marry properly, and then this and that. And I should listen to him. Do you do the same thing? But what exactly bother to see the difference between Alibaba and other thing?

00:36:43--> 00:37:30

Meaning either there always be desire, and there will be opposing the desire to be Alibaba. desire is to do as you like, a bother to do either, like, simple to you the same thing but either love life, in order matters that what believers need to attend properly in your family life. Don't do this as you like, what you need to do T's and Allah likes. If the men and women both do things as Allah likes, there will be harmony. Why? Because the source of the law the same era the Quran said lo Karna Fie Hema Ali Hatton. In the law, hula fossa, hide in the earth, or sky has been more than one God more than one to be obeyed, there would have been disorder, Kadena, if you listen to so many

00:37:30--> 00:37:33

gods, it will be disruption in the family.

00:37:34--> 00:37:41

The source of the commodity husband and wife both happen ultimately both are independent, both in case the law tells me what

00:37:43--> 00:38:22

disorder children don't want to do. And I feel them among themselves. The problem is you want to do something certain times you want to do something else you want to distinguish, you have to cook something else, in all the tie fighting argument. Reason why because both of you want to listen to yourself. If her wife listened to herself, and husband listen to himself, then never can be any order, or any harmony in the house. To make a harmony in an order in the house, both of them to need to listen to a single commander, to when command come from the same one. That basically it comes with harmony, like in addition, diversity follows command. You can see harmony there, Earth and the

00:38:22--> 00:38:56

Sun and the Moon. But if you have many, many creators, or many, many commanders, they'll never come in harmony. Similarly, in the current in the country, if people are confused, and they don't know who to follow the parliament or something else, they will disorder. But if people know really that, you know, a black monopoly in in India, in Bombay, there's a law of the country. But there are also laws of the laws in the street, which actually is done by run by by goondas. To their to every street divided by so many goondas. So they come and characterize a district that has your curfew, you don't know who to who to obey, who to listen, you can't implement the law, try to understand

00:38:56--> 00:39:39

properly in the way your personal life works. And the way the family life work is to understand this single source of the laws ultimate single source, don't do things because you want hospice should not do something because they want Why should not do this because they want in every single matter. Both of them what you do the shooter do what Allah commands, tell me Will there be fighting? No. If you do what He commands you deserve, can you not be angry? If he come ask me to look after my wife? Then I'm not feeling insulted that I'm lower than my wife. No, I'm listening to my my Lord. If my my daughter Martha took off from my wife, you know, I don't feel any problem because it's common for my

00:39:39--> 00:39:59

daughter. That's very common, if a lack of mother and just to do say that to other to bow to them, did they feel insulted? That we are created before other men we are from right anatomies from the US? How can we do because the command karma if you listen to your Lord, the commander in naval career problem is a creativity very to try to understand in this life in do things

00:40:01--> 00:40:11

Either he wants, definitely bother. If you do this as you want that we're there we're kahawa to the two are struggling with how to write down for you to conceive

00:40:14--> 00:40:59

one another, how to do this as you want. Hoda means guidance. Hoda me to do this as Allah was telling me on the karate tabula Buffy houden Quran has come a heist Khurana come to do what you want to do what Allah wants Tell me. Hi is Khurana come to teach you what you want. A Quran has come to teach you what Allah wants. Tell him Tell me what are under the current directory? What do you want to know? What are commands you to do? What Allah what not What do you want? Disagree people have to understand you don't want to run your life by hover. Run your life by Buddha. The successful carozza didn't feel successful. That karasawa como moto Carranza that, you know,

00:41:02--> 00:41:03

there was a

00:41:04--> 00:41:08

lot of people that monsoon, one Latina, you

00:41:10--> 00:41:23

know, hula, Allah Hoda, mira him when he got off the phone, they are the one who are on the hook. And they are the one who successful success come from where from Haha, tell me where the success comes.

00:41:25--> 00:42:03

In, if you fall, if you keep eating, and eating, actually, I want to eat more and more I love eating, tell you what will happen. You know, basically you've covered and then the door will be too narrow for you to leave the yard on the bed. You can't have a successful life. But if you if you did e commerce, healthy you can move in, you know that he was he not your enemy, in his command for you to help you. He knows your nature. He knows who you are, to when he commands to it certainly could help you in the family life, whatever he commands you to go to help both of you try to understand. But when you become commander, and you fall, you're hava both of them, you it's not. You know women

00:42:03--> 00:42:39

think that you know they go to have their husband, you have yourself before your husband, anybody who follows the hava, they harm themselves before the harm that that person tried to understand. You never can. Whenever you don't listen to your Lord, you harm yourself before you harm anybody else. You can't have anybody else anyway. If you do harm the other person and his or her suffering, he gets a reward you can't have any way. If you laugh at me a lot. I'm not wanting you to laugh at me, telling me who you are harming yourself or me. yourself. You get a sin and I'm going to reward you never can harm anybody. If the woman they become angry at their husbands until the day you hear them

00:42:40--> 00:42:42

who is being harmed. The women not the husband.

00:42:43--> 00:43:00

And the husband is angry and he is insulting his wife. Who is harm. He is horrible, not the woman because he's the one who got sin and she's the one who would try to understand properly when you follow what you what pleases you hard for tea. And whatever you follow, what is Allah, good for you?

00:43:01--> 00:43:17

muffler hole, they are the most successful success come for faranda instruction, not only don't instruct yourself, don't become your instructor or liaison instructor he instructs you to do then Dude, don't become your own instructor.

00:43:18--> 00:43:56

Is it clear to everybody? Now I want to explain to you what hover means really, this hover is a problem. And people have to know that Hawaii is clogged. They're like paralysis from Mahatma Kamara be one 174 in Jana Delmarva those people who feel is turning in from the load and the staff for following hover, don't follow the hover they get paradise. Hover is probably when you do what you want it is a problem. But when you do what Allah was unestablished from for yourself from the hover you get paradise to hover you have to understand properly. Now, what have a really easy hover is

00:43:59--> 00:44:29

about is basically indication. However, indication that he knew certain things like for example, how are you? You can hungry, being hungry, hungry is how you become thirsty. You have a desire for relation to eternity to why why does that lust was made for a perfect result has been made an indication means you need something but desire the blind desire cannot teach you what you need and how much you need to where you need this relation with a woman

00:44:30--> 00:45:00

that then use your mind properly thinking okay, now, I should not listen to my desire. I should think really what might work in this case when I've desired for the relation. What my Lord has commanded me is a clear to desire indication it tells him allows you then what you do, therefore God does or come to your Lord. When you feel hungry is a good thing. Desire makes you to feel hungry but now don't listen to the girl. Come to your Lord and ask him Oh my Lord, I feel hungry. What should I do? Then I'll tell you what you

00:45:00--> 00:45:07

On how much dude, if people do properly, then they'll be happy about the desire there's certain things you have to know really

00:45:09--> 00:45:50

desire indication, if you treat them with indication, it's helpful to decide what indication that you knew certainty is needed you Your body needs certain things. If you just read a look that up by a desire, because instructor is going to hurt me, means if you follow these are this problem. If you desire only the alert of alerts you and then you obey your Lord, it is good. Like you know you're hungry you want to eat, but what to eat and how much to eat. I'm not going to ask my desire, I'm going to ask you unless motala but if you listen to desire, no, I want to eat or let me read anything I want in order I enjoy food so much that probably eating whatever you want is harmful to

00:45:50--> 00:46:18

you and eating them out. You want it also there are the people say that you know the best if something is not likely the most of it. It doesn't you just get more and more. It's not really it is basically it is it to know that know the amount properly know the right time, not the right amount properly. You know, this is a very poor to understand. Meaning. However, if you hover is treated as an indication, it is helpful. But if However, because instructor and commander, there's a problem, now commit to another thing.

00:46:19--> 00:46:39

Another thing very often, many young people say men and women that I fall in love, I love you know my answer to him and I love you and she said I love you that I want to make clear that many people don't understand what love means really, that I want you to know that if you understand these things will help you so much. Okay, let me ride with

00:46:44--> 00:46:49

you know, there's something I've said in the body, which comes I desire indication

00:46:50--> 00:46:52

that actually is a problem.

00:46:53--> 00:47:34

When people grow up, you become you know, 16 year old or 17 years old, maybe younger than that. You did you feel a desire for the opposite sex, you know, you basically means that your desire is there, that's fine, that's natural, Allah made like that many have dessert for the women and women have reserved for the men. Title does domata think it means I fall in love. If you see a woman and your desire comes in, it does not mean that you have fallen in love with her. It is just bizarre really, if it is something you know, love this story, that you know some somebody a woman in young girl from the village she was going to marry from the village you know, followed her and you know, but she's

00:47:34--> 00:47:47

not looking she's not interested in then he shouted her that you know I love you so much and this and that. She was clever. She said to him, my sister, you know who is more beautiful than me. She's coming behind you the return

00:47:48--> 00:48:27

to see behind she says you don't love me know that you love me you see very quickly sent out to know that people love people don't affect the hubba hubba Musa just desire because that a desire is there to whatever concealer is somebody sitting next to you in the classroom. To know that you fall in love with it, it deserved victory easy because that's the person who can talk there is a person you go somewhere in restaurant and some industry you on your table you can talk that how people think it is deserved that desire makes you do because you know dissatisfaction that you want to do try not to whenever people have reached that age, they say I love it not likely to have it. However,

00:48:28--> 00:48:32

then what love is really the word you know, Father loving advocate.

00:48:33--> 00:49:14

And I want to, to, to, to spell to use these words properly, what our means and what muhabba means mahabaleshwar to basically comes when when you know certain qualities, good code, if you see somebody good quality, and then you will love that person. I know like that person. That's the hubba hubba comes by the desire, you'll know that you know quality is basic natural basically you know how God has made Mr. hava comes from a loving era. Allah is the robber to he created many women and desire but marhaba comes from a loving ala meaning what Allah subhanaw taala had to marry you in a certain way that a good quality you look

00:49:15--> 00:49:17

for an apple I love

00:49:19--> 00:49:19

Tim Why

00:49:21--> 00:49:32

am I falling in love with him or dessert? No. I know his qualities. I know his quality they're very loving. What are different between both of them are differences. However by nature,

00:49:33--> 00:49:36

when it is fulfilled, it falls down

00:49:37--> 00:49:59

muhabba by nature keeps increasing everything which is good quality, they keep decreasing. However, it's not a good quality HVAC is falling what I mean like I'm very very hungry and I want a nice food in all the nice food that Indian food like biryani masala is a mother for a long day. I'm very hungry and you put all the things in front of me and then I keep eating

00:50:00--> 00:50:39

Keep it tell me when I fully Do I still I want to keep eating, I don't want to see the food once I foot what is in my love for the food has gone down, you know, lack of people economic said, you know, diminishing marginal utility meaning they still they keep diminishing, they don't you know, don't realize what muhabba does marhaba keeps increasing. You know, I love my wife, because she prays, you know, she fast and see listen to her Lord, She's so nice, a good character. And then I married her and then after that, you know I look more critically she actually even better than I thought she read Quran nicely, because for my life, peace and these are all to say, I love her more

00:50:39--> 00:50:52

and more. Then this left keep increasing. Even when she got older. I love her more because I can see she's so near to Allah. They're called Maha. Maha by nature keeps increasing. And however by nature it's been decreasing

00:50:53--> 00:51:16

mahabad always based on qualities on and Hawaii just desire the desire for the food desert for the religion most 99% of the young people when they say fall in love therefore what Carson hava does or not Baba is you don't know can you pastor How can you love him? Love only cuz we knew the quality setup, we don't know the quality of the person, how can you not know

00:51:17--> 00:51:31

that we are a people to have gotten to we have expression or do the words in a big language, which actually comes without any effort? There are weak words because you know, they're not important. They're not quality, good quality. They are in the middle it has Casella

00:51:32--> 00:51:34

Do you always look like Samia?

00:51:35--> 00:52:15

in all those words, or do what's the language, we're human effort not involved. They are weak verbs. They are basically have kassala in the middle, they're not important. The real version are those which have got immediate meaning you have to hard work for them to do it. They don't come easily they work. They come after you after long effort. Like listening. If somebody speaks to me, then your voice will come to your air anyway, the summer you didn't make any effort really just talking the worst. That's how we are falling down deserted, falling down is easy. If somebody drops you from here you will fall down anyway nothing will happen it is basically no choice but to climb somewhere

00:52:15--> 00:52:25

to go up. It is effort, good quality, they always make new effort you know and the bad qualities are what it is or really they don't need any effort

00:52:26--> 00:52:49

to in this love between men and women which happens you know when this agent did not because they know they have good quality official there's a bad desire really that was fulfilled you can see really after that the such insult they're satisfied. There were some tears they want to another they want to have some another relationship they keep looking for I'm going for a purpose with a person that however that is not you know that that's not

00:52:50--> 00:53:30

about the hava distinguished hava ism or a temporary or very limited if you marry someone because that marriage certainly will fail. simple to understand properly. Whenever people marry someone because they have hover. They fall in the love that a marriage never never can survive because they deserve and deserve by nature. They basically what's the satisfaction comes the finish. If you marry someone because you love the person, it will increase but let me say what love means those qualities which keep increasing miss your wife is pious in a she is the person who has suffered patience she's the one who looks after everybody she's the one who sacrificed her interest for the sake of the

00:53:30--> 00:54:09

family she had this good once you know this quality you love the person and once you know more you love the person more once you know more you love more Tell me what do you love Allah tala? Does the love increase or decrease increases every time you know more about him you love him more marhaba by nature keeps increasing. However by nature peace decreasing, that what people need to know always make a different distinction between Mahabharata and however most people 99% people have got However, they don't have the tour you might be somebody i'd love the food to eat and aroma because food had no quality. You're not in love of the food. It basically just you know dessert. When a man

00:54:09--> 00:54:11

said that to me, I love you that only hover that

00:54:12--> 00:54:25

you're not good because he's not he's not not properly or she said I love someone it is because at that age, it is God how is it glittery hava is very weak thing. It's not it's not a strong surrealism, but that's what people need to do

00:54:29--> 00:54:31

in this matter, you know, when

00:54:36--> 00:54:59

Okay, now I'll come in shala when you confer the choice but one thing keep in mind really that you know the way I made this what is it that he created our identification that is it indication to Americans resolved however will come dissolved will come but that certainly it is that after that you have to use your mind and think proper don't fall in the trap of the Hubba den think properly. You know really, I did.

00:55:00--> 00:55:35

means I need to marry. Whenever you see desire for a woman, it certainly means you need to get married, then don't look for that woman. Just look into Khurana soon last wise people now I need to marry What should I look for? Then they tell you daughter before you desire a woman she feels attraction to a man. That means indication she wants to marry, then how should she now go to the domain, now she's come to her Lord, the corner. So nothing really I want to get married. What are the qualities? Forget this person because there was a result, you need to get these qualities properly. Once you've behaved like that in your life and be successful, and you never never had

00:55:35--> 00:56:10

problem. But once you reset your desire, certainly you go to fail. And a promise will happen. I couldn't match it in many, many women. In this lesson, some good words from some men and testing or the the person does miss so much and that and that, and didn't even leave their family for that person. And within one month, that person leaves her and she had no choice. She had left her family and she had nowhere to go. I've seen so many women like that. And they complain, too, I said to them, it was your mistake, you have to the wrong person, you just actually are deceived by by his words, you know these words, anybody can say, you know, this was taken time to say I love you. And I

00:56:10--> 00:56:46

don't understand why the women in them just become you know, DC by this word, this word even you can make a machine specific. This is what actually has no value. Either people can make this work if they think if somebody knows that this only what we can make them unhappy. They will say that they want dessert, if they think no you can you know if somebody said that I can buy if I come to a restaurant, and I said to the owner of the restaurant, I love you and give you food. Everybody will come there. I say I love you. And they get food and they go Is this how good food you know, just say I love you. It is simple to know how people do try to understand properly like I'll tell you the

00:56:46--> 00:57:27

story, which he helped me to understand. You people be knowing they know what to do and other big you know, the one they love is famous lovely stories Muslim and later Muslim is a case and neither is the woman both are from the same tribe, you know, cousin, and in case I fall in love of Laila, many marriages that happen to long story dinner, but there really was proper, deep, deep love as everybody knows. So what happens is, Blair knows that in the past had become Muslim because of my love to whenever is used to, you know, pass by her Street. She used to send in a bowl full of milk to too much, you know, too delicate because nobody looks after him. So she used to send to now many

00:57:27--> 00:58:08

to realize actually, if you love Layla, you get milk to work any better than that. One day there are so many Muslim on her Street. Everybody says I love Layla, everybody, the cardinal geek say I love Laila, you got milk. Now the slave girl, she brought the call of milk but she saw so many people 1020 people to she shouldn't do not not to go to Kim. She came back to that and said that now to so many Muslim, I don't know who to give. She said empty about and take him to bow and tell the people today Laila has asked your blood from you. She wants your book full of them, you know, full of the boat, then all the machine of the fair color discipline, the real movie, remember? He said, okay,

00:58:08--> 00:58:41

ask around which part of my body she was the middle the blood? Then she went to site and said one to 1%. And he's asking, Where do you want the birth from? She says he is the real machine. Give the miracle to him. He's the real man. You know this thing. You know, if people think that I love you, and you get a meal for him that everybody loves you cut this out how that what is, but right on this if people really know what marriage means responsibility, they never say the center's too big of a responsibility to you know, try to understand properly, always make a difference between mahabhava

00:58:42--> 00:59:07

you know, basically how it that age, the hover, people have been like, well, people are hungry, they need food, the simple thing, and they're so desperate some time, anything they get they want to eat anything. Sometimes people are hungry, so much anger. Similarly, when people are actually in debt, a desire or the lesson, they get whatever they get, they want to do it, they're worse, they're fooling, then they're going to think they're not going to keep the religion because you know, they're not happy with that religion.

00:59:09--> 00:59:12

So, we have to look for marhaba not for the hava

00:59:13--> 00:59:24

now coming to the next thing is that why Islam has made you know, this, the marriage thing why they mentioned desire basically is one indication.

00:59:25--> 00:59:26

But, you know,

00:59:28--> 00:59:59

when you are hungry, these are indication you need food. But tell me what the purpose of food food is. To give you energy to start survival of your life. In the real life. Actually, you need energy and energy for the food and being hunger and hunger is an indication of that. Similarly, survival of the mankind on the face of data depends on children, but future generations of men and women in mute relation then children come unless mother wants it, the future human generation to continue on the face of that he wants to continue

01:00:00--> 01:00:35

He could have done differently, he could have done another way would have been to every after, after every 10 years, to drop new generation on the face of under heaven to run a tree, you can give, you know, children, you know, you can people can do, he could have done that, but he did differently, what he did, actually he made the family system, and from the family from the fire from the husband, a wife in a new generation can combine purposes, then they can teach, they can learn love and have been all they wanted to make family, through the fear of human generation, in this generation, talk to the family, that he wanted to basically the whole purpose is to make a future generation, the

01:00:35--> 01:01:17

whole purpose and the future generation, they learn how to worship Allah from their parents, so that my family is very, very important to people, people are very keen to teach their children, that this will not happen, because nobody wants to tied up with other person to what he did. I nobody wants to eat it, too, he put the desire there. I similarly, when the people don't want to be relation, he put desire, the relation to desire compel, but desire, another purpose, to fulfill the purpose to a family. So, if you understand this thing, then this becomes actually easier than you know, really the family life in Islam with far too connected purpose, one is to make a future generation. And

01:01:17--> 01:02:01

second thing is to train them on Delhi bodalla these two purpose could not happen easily as well, that a family is important, what Allah was, Allah was the man or woman they meet the married, why should they make family and when the family is there, then future generation can be rather easily children or their environment. And they can be trained, they can be educated, they can taught properly. That is the function of the marriage, the function of the marriage is what you get family, and you get children. The basic simple to really the married recently, the function of the marriage in Islam is to get the children and to raise them a kite was to come up to me teach them Alibaba,

01:02:01--> 01:02:03

that is the function of the marriage.

01:02:05--> 01:02:43

In Islam, whenever you know, the function comes that our sole responsibility comes every single thing, the function response, they both are collected. The function is that you make family, you get children, you raise them a cartoonist teaching, or what responsibility responses the man had to provide accommodation expensive. And the women have to a no helper about raising the children properly, directly both have got responsibility in this matter, do you Well, I'll come to that in a while, especially divided that way, but that what function of the function is our responsibility to marriage basically, in Islam is this function, our responsibility, it is now the fulfillment of

01:02:43--> 01:03:20

desire, it is not really that you know enjoyment of the life, it is nothing to do with that. My only one function, and that is to provide a family life where children can dress properly, that what is the lamp is this family life kind of serves this function properly. It is it is part of his successful family life. It could be that each one of them individually don't enjoy it. But both of them are very much suited to make this function to happen. That's fine. Either aka husband or wife. They can create this environment they can have children and they can make it made them to learn to properly study properly and to obey the Lord properly. That opens the door. They basically did what

01:03:20--> 01:03:34

they need to do this day It could also happen sometimes they enjoy the life sometimes they don't enjoy it doesn't necessarily matter what matters, the function should properly second thing is each one of them don't know that he's responding properly and do them properly.

01:03:35--> 01:04:06

These are two aspect to keep in mind the function of the marriage is to have family and response it is what both are democrat responses that no rights in this matter. And then no enjoyment. Enjoy emetic secondary matter complete really, really because I tell you the joy met in this life doesn't matter anyway. Let's not make this life for enjoyment. He only made his life for alborada you enjoy meeting after the date? If people want to marry because the enjoyment certainly there it is not for that are you looking for something in one place?

01:04:08--> 01:04:31

to always keep in mind the reason I'm getting married is because I agreed to a when I can have children I want a family and then I can raise my children calculus. So if my generation can continue I die at the near future generation they continue on the face of that they were shikantaza directly what what you need to do to you marry for the sake of the family you want to create new entity that agrees the family life that people do.

01:04:32--> 01:04:46

Now when it comes to this, what is the importance of this family in this marriage in Islam? Is it obligatory or it is not obligatory to I'll tell you the future then you come inshallah some other other points.

01:04:48--> 01:04:55

One thing is what this currency since Allah subhanaw taala has made the life into this marriage for a function of with the responsibility

01:04:56--> 01:04:59

and the function is nothing not easy.

01:05:00--> 01:05:39

response is very, very heavy. Nobody wants to marry if people, if somebody tells you, you know, you marry because you have to have family or because your function who's going to marry nobody, nobody wants to have responsibility. But if Allah put a desire, their desire so strongly, that no desire or a strong desire, because he wants you to do this disaster so strong, that if people don't marry some time, they can fall in the sea, and we can see around us, people are falling into sin. so that by the time I say that indication, really, you must get married to what they say, if somebody realizes that, you know, if he does not marry, he will fall into sin. And he has got enough means to marry my

01:05:39--> 01:06:06

mind. Man has got enough money to support his wife, he's got money for accommodation expensive. And he thinks if he does not marry, he will fall in the in the sin, then it's a clear indication, you must get married and make family then a marriage and that person is obligatory for his career. Anybody who has got enough means to marry and they think if they don't marry, they can fall in the sin, then the marriage because obligatory for

01:06:07--> 01:06:10

and this can be different in a different person, but this

01:06:11--> 01:06:55

is somebody think really, that you know, he is his bad character. And if you married a woman who is good to harm is good to be understood is good to mystery by risk distributor, that a marriage to such a person with haram sin, sinful act, because you are not allowed to vote in relation when you go to any other person. Physically. Many many men they really don't teach themselves properly by marriage do hora Marina holla for you refer you to Mary because you don't know really how to how to behave. If anybody knows I'm sweitzer generic was always become angry. And when I might even go to create a prom for my wife and get sympathy you have to first learn how to behave properly before

01:06:55--> 01:07:13

that you are not allowed to marry the marriage for a person like that is not Haram is it clear to for somebody is watching but somebody also can be haram for some people to carry makuta harini nearly Hara some people Nakuru Generally, if people have good character good manner, and they know the function of marriage

01:07:14--> 01:07:47

and and they have got enough means to look after the wife and they don't think that it will follow the sin is still for people like normal people is still it is recommended to married sooner the person they could vote for is still a good record for that is it clear but if any of those things become more more urgent that actually marriage become more important for that preferred dessert because it's stronger and people's in their fullness in it, you can watch it but generally they don't fall into sin. But they've got all the means to marry, they can look after their wife is still it is more recommend highly recommended that people should marry in like a trip in Hades insoluble

01:07:47--> 01:08:26

33 people came to the price analysis and the process was not there. So they asked his wife How is the life so they mentioned the prophets Allah Allah some some time you know he fast sometimes are not faster. And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam some time in his part and it does play an part and it sleeps. I know he and he spent time with his wife. So they they thought very little in my center he should do more Ali Baba. The one of them said is for me. I will always be fasting. I will never never actually you know be the faster you know I have to do more. One of the eyes for me I will always wake in the night and pray all the night. And the third person either for me I never married

01:08:27--> 01:09:04

because you magically start from enjoy this enjoyment. I never marry and then the lift went the price and as I found out this a call all those people and I said to them didn't use it. This is This is Dr. Vishal distinct. The process is for me, I fast and also I build the first I don't foster Tinder I pray the night and also sleep and I also married the women and it is my sooner for my Raven so naughty for less I mean those who turn away from my sooner they are not from me to marry in normal condition. It is too soon. Even if people think they don't know what to follow this is just to know because it actually helps it for the parent the purple denotes future generation, you need

01:09:04--> 01:09:17

to really make a complete person then you have sobre then you will look after the person in when you have children. You read them properly. You know if they say contribute in Islamic life, to marriage always encouraged. That way one of the great companion

01:09:19--> 01:09:59

or dilemma pseudo Lateran used to say La la vida de la la shala to a yameen. Allah. Muto. aphria. Yeoman Li fi hin llevado Nika let us a wish to behalf Atul fitna. I've been associated if from my life, were knitted as remain 10 days. And I know that either in the last 10 day, I'm going to die. Only 10 days for my life. And I have got a muse to marry, I will marry, I will marry. I would prefer to die having wife rather than time without wife that wants to see how the thing repeat. You know because people don't understand a marriage really. It makes you a complete person. You know when you are

01:10:00--> 01:10:35

Praying you get reward the player when you marry and then you pray you get your rewards are multiplied by many many times. Because it's not not it's not because now you basically are just your life you know in the family life and sometimes with difficulty sometimes problem your supper and all those things. Now the rewards are multiplied by millimeters if not no enjoyment, you know when before I marry you to read the Quran every morning, after the AMA is still you keep reading the Quran, your rewards are multiplied by many many times. You know before marriage is too fast after my Yuki fasting, your rewards are multiplied by millimeter or married marriage basically makes them for

01:10:35--> 01:11:09

men and women, both of them the reverse, multiplied by many, many times to try to understand properly that why, you know, I said that, you know, if people are married, and they're suffering, and you know, that are much, much better than people who don't want to have suffering and daughter Mary. You know, marriage is suffering much, much better because you get so much more equality when you know you have no idea really how much reward you get. When you marry. There's so much reward in the marriage. Why these people? They always have been, you know, the married and that why your 1000 your money who was very, very pious person used to say Leia, Tim nasaka Shah had that as a young

01:11:09--> 01:11:29

person Sally Baba, never can be complete until he gets married. It never can be complete. And actually some of these people used to say that you know, if your daughter Mary, there's a problem, like Ibrahim maestra, he says 1000 Yamani said to me, that Anika, Hannah, our akula nanaka Ma Ma.

01:11:30--> 01:12:14

Ma I am now aka bendiga illa. I design for June. Even I my slides great Harlan, he said 1000 Imani said to me I was a student, he said to me you must marry. Otherwise, I'm going to tell you same thing. What Omar said to survive, I will survive do not marry to Mercer to him. Nothing stops you from marriage, except I offered you either you are unable. You are not proper man. Or you are sinner. You do sin. Nothing is there no meaning young people then nothing nothing else is dead. They should marry. The person hasn't said yeah, ma Shabaab. Manish Tata Amina Kula file it has a word well madam yesterday file every song find a song with john Addison Buhari was in all the rest of the

01:12:14--> 01:12:54

house this is all young people. You must get married if you can afford to marry you must get married. If you cannot afford then what do their key fasting because fasting shield meaning that young men have no choice young men have only two choices either marriage or fasting if you see a man neither marrying not fasting there's a problem gentlemen, is this only two choices? If they can afford a marriage? They must marry it is for men not for women. No women afford isn't a comfort the women but for the men if they can afford them, they must marry and if they cannot afford the marriage they must be fast not one day fasting key fasting all the time. There no such was there

01:12:54--> 01:13:03

nothing part of it the daughter marry and don't fast then nothing like that really? And had this had this in all levels of the Hadees anyway the details inshallah is going to return if you have any question please ask

01:13:08--> 01:13:48

she can you explain that again? The when you said that Allah is a master and when Allah is Allah what's the when you said if you obey one time could you explain that you know what it means a laser level? I the master he has enabled us to do many many things, too because he's a robber. He wants to you know give you energy What do you have energy to he put desire for the full value and he made food available for you to distinct and by animals as well. You know by by by created by the nature they eat food they get energy, too if you do naturally eat and drink it. Basically you're a foreign unless command either either he's been up in debt on that no reward. Because this what he made you

01:13:48--> 01:14:09

anyway. reward is when you become hungry. There's no no, I'm not going to eat unless I asked my lord what he wants me to eat and how to eat. Then you treat him as ala to dedicate to Allah what commodified the believers to c'est la Ilaha not la Obaidullah. Most people they follow him either. Follow him rabbit please shut up shut and obey me.

01:14:10--> 01:14:52

Or we just follow Rob is not important. Obedience of Allah. Allah that important Mr. To find out his commands is the word a law means a law is the one who's to be obeyed. Rob means master and creator, to either master and creator. He has given you certain abilities. If you do do them, it is not a bother. But either Allah ma booth and commander he has revealed except revelation. If you do decide he wanted that Alibaba, he wants you to do this, not as you want, rather than he wants me to clear. basically follow Ramiz duties as you want. Following my alarm, his duties as he wants you to following my blog means to follow however, the hub actually is configurable. But you know if you

01:14:52--> 01:14:59

make me love me to follow the order, do you see the difference, however comes from him. And who that comes from Zilla

01:15:00--> 01:15:03

If people obey Him as Allah, then the following Buddha

01:15:05--> 01:15:46

sadhana Come check. I wanted to ask, Where does Mahatma come from? Would we say that it comes from the heart? Or would we say that it's a rational choice that comes from the head and also does however play any role in choosing a spouse? Or is it something that we should completely discard? If we start to feel desire, you know, definitely very important question. You know, Merhaba can happen from different ways, but the real marhaba cause from the, you know, for real Mahabharata, for the mind first meaning it, you know, certain good qualities. And when you see those qualities, suppose somebody will love that person, too. First you think about that, you know it and then love comes

01:15:46--> 01:15:47

after that that actual real

01:15:48--> 01:15:54

Mahatma always comes from multiple people, I must say that muhabba is Dutch as being ugly, then it was

01:15:55--> 01:16:11

too far. For Cisco for the mind. They'll come from the heart while desertion neither confirm the man or the farmer actually comes from that, you know, this natural instinct that people are like animals have either from the heart and other from the mind. Mahabharata started with the mind and then it gets deeper in the heart to definitely I love it because

01:16:12--> 01:16:48

it's not actually Hello, it is basically I learned about his quality too, I know how great he was to I love him and then I love him more and more when I similarly if you want to marry a woman find out about you know about the personal side anybody that you know, what her qualities are and come to the quality once you see then then you love and then after that you will marry you see more quality you love more however plays a role because our basic admission Hawaii's indication if people take provide an indication that's not about that that Harvard never should come instructor hava should not instruct you Why should not guide you Hello Alicia alerting then after that come and take

01:16:48--> 01:17:24

guidance from the Quran come to Buddha How are you then you come to the Buddha simple territories it could be that you see a person and a desire comes there then okay finally, how this person controlled your desire thick no no it is not enough for me I literally this person doesn't distinguish that quality, the qualities which kind of make the relation longer last longer for right on this quality without anybody just right these are the qualities which are going to make my fame life last longer and this and that the look of those qualities if you can find that that love and then when you marry the person the left keep increasing because those qualities you will know more

01:17:24--> 01:17:59

and more people get when people are married because the hover then actually it goes down all the time keeps going down until people don't know have no interest is it clear to mahabad real advice from that will start likely otherwise you know stupid people can see the formula all the time but real people did know not so easily The other thing understand that is dead after that you know that delay the thing then they love people who love them that think is not right like an Indian people always say that you know in western people you know they love someone and then they marry but Indian people we married then develop with not right when direct is wrong very you know definitely we're

01:17:59--> 01:18:41

forced to have it as a nation not that you know you married then you will have revised right away to notice properly quality then you love then you marry the right that means the right ways a man then Islam to emerge from the mind on Islam from the heart. Jehovah her we got a few online questions we can take one of the online questions prompts firms as consuming lean to mentioned earlier. Does this mean if husband and wife cannot have children, they should not remain married? No, he doesn't mean really no thing either. The Mason the fact sunny that family life, but faith in children, you are not going to create them unless you make them. What you need to do is make your effort. You you

01:18:41--> 01:18:46

succeed. You got to vote anyway. You married because you wanted to have children. And you got a married Father, you know,

01:18:48--> 01:19:24

after that having children not having children, it formulas omotola. He's the one who enables people to not enable people. Sometimes even if you have children, they die and sometimes have children and they come by they become sinner, you know, the unbeliever, it could happen anything you know, then this vertically puts a wall letting you make your effort. Don't look at the outcome of your outcome is only in the head of Allah. Literally your efforts should be married after the marriage, make every effort. It could be some time you'll have this problem. You know, try to do the effort as best as possible. But after that don't break relations because you know your outcome is not what expected

01:19:24--> 01:19:36

outcome never never your outcome always refers to outcome should not change your mind that you know this property you do work for that outcome. But if you get it that's fine. Don't get it Don't worry, you still get reward.

01:19:38--> 01:19:59

So when it comes to and what's the difference between mawatha and muhabba Yamaha by the measures with mahabharatha perfect quality These are called mah batteries good quality, it should have been like mahabhava huhtala muhabba with the prophets Allah Mohammed Sahaba tabin pious people marhaba with your wife know this muhabba is good quality people certainly should you know

01:20:00--> 01:20:08

myka if you attended and in some marhaba also less water has a mere did he know what you can say, you know,

01:20:09--> 01:20:09

in

01:20:11--> 01:20:49

inclination means you feel inclined to that person you feel ugly peace, you know peace that come from the mob. There's Kalamata to some type of puzzle that you marry, you get peace that sometimes don't get anything busted, Maha Buster can be there in the mud. There is another fella totally made my mother. But sometimes he gets sometimes I never give to people basically married then after that a lot of them made and mercy and Ma, Rama among them. And sometimes people don't feel that, but still they have to do their duty properly. It could be that you don't have that inclination to your wife or widen the field, but still do what Allah commands does he agree with what to discover from

01:20:49--> 01:21:21

him? If you get that far if you don't get it still, you can correct me if I'm obedient, then you still can carry on your life if you're not obedient, there probably will be there used to go I don't feel inclination, I don't feel much interested descender and lucretius problem but no, my lord has come on Am I doing anyway family life is fine, you know, we are living together and I know my rights and my duties properly and pay them properly, that's fine. But more there is another gift from Allah, something happened something happened, but people should understand properly that you know, Mamata is not the main thing more you know real thing is you know, this you know family family and

01:21:21--> 01:21:22

then you know muhabba will come

01:21:23--> 01:22:02

shift discussing going back to discussing Is that something which comes naturally to people to recognize these qualities and for to have a habit or is this something we have to develop and consciously make an effort to appreciate you know, if people are greater than mahabhava will compel us water less water did not prepare people at empty He created them with knowing the good quality, but certainly when we are created you know, we are born in a certain society where those qualities are not there anymore nobody has been tested now in our time everybody will need to send money to certainly nobody actually looks for patient server and one party money and reaches to then you need

01:22:02--> 01:22:37

to make effort to know what a good quality means other than naturally people really now this initial I'll come to that you know, naturally that a lot of mail a lot people have actually love for those good qualities in our time somehow in Italian characters. Now love is only for the money. So it does not identify you have to learn what are the qualities are and then you make effort if anybody does good use those quality love them. And then after that your love become more natural. To mahabang becomes a no in the beginning. Actually, then it can either be antibody natural, but it's the beginning a little more be more like ugly. If mahabis does dakhla that is right Baba, the

01:22:37--> 01:22:49

Mahabharata from the from the taba. It could be desired. You don't know really sometimes people don't distinguish. But muhabba always to start from the outcome if you start from Auckland mind thinking that that Ababa will survive will last longer.