Issues of Marriage #13

That is the night collection of Ibn Abu

Dawood and his Sunan, and it's straight to

us by Aisha w Mimi with the authentic

generation. And

the issue is still the topic of issues

of marriage probably this week, and I'm gonna

go I'll conclude it next week, and then

I'll move on something different after that inshaAllah

ta'ala.

Here's a famous you know this story. You

may not know the hadith, you know the

story for sure. There's a famous story of

the Prophet 'alayhi salatu wa salam's relationship with

Aisha. And I like it. I think there's

something in it for us to reflect upon.

So, she said,

Khakkalat

So the Prophet alaihis salaam once

raised me.

Now where this exactly happened, we don't know.

We think it's on one of his journeys.

He would go on and he was salaw

alayhi wasalam,

constantly on conquests or journeys and he would

take one of his wives with him. And

once it was Aisha. So when they were

on their own, he he raced her. And

she wanted to race, so so so they

raced. So she was young, she raced, she

she won.

And then she said,

but meaning time passed by. I I became

a bit fatter than I was before. There

was meat on me.

And then this happened again, and he wanted

to race. So he raced. This time he

beat me. So he said, Yeah. Isha hardi,

this one, this win, bitilq is to make

up for the one that time that you

beat me. Now

the the beauty or the or the, the

the the the nice part of the hadith

The Prophet 'alayhi wa salatu wa salaam

Busy men

rarely have time in their lives for

aspects of joy, and fun,

and playfulness

with their close people,

with the ones who are close to them

in their lives. This is a known this

is a known phenomenon. It's not this phenomenon

is not new. Men who are busy, men

who are of high status, men who have

a lot of responsibilities

and carry and are leadership positions, blah blah

blah. They're you know, they don't have time

to be playful with their loved ones. They

don't. And this is just you can almost

ask this question across the board to a

lot of And the Prophet

being the Prophet

so being the religious leader, being the head

of Medina, being the Biblical leader, being the

head of the army, the military leader,

being a leader to the Sahaba in every

aspect of their lives, he was extremely busy

and had a lot of status out of

his salat among the people who were surrounding

him. Yet, he still had time to be

playful with his wife. And the hadith, why

I like it because it talks about

it stretches over a period of time. Like

she says that It's not like she said,

At the beginning when I first got married,

he he

raised me and then later on he refused

to do it. 20 years later,

No, she said, Farabi Islam mean time went

by and we changed and he still did

it alaihis salatu wa sallam. To me this

just shows you that it wasn't an issue

of

just an issue of lust or an issue

of early marriage. It was a mindset. It

was how he was alaihis salatu wa sallam.

He understood, he knew that in order for

a marriage to work that playfulness has to

be there. That means there has to be

a playful piece.

Yaani.

Once I was told by Yaani,

a marriage therapist, not that I went to

1, not that I went for 1, but

it was someone I was speaking to, not

that there's any shame in doing it, but

I was speaking to one to help me

with certain things that I was you know,

receiving in the community and then I finally

decided that I'm not doing this. I just

sent to him, Uhuraas. But the thing he

told me is that one of the ways

you know a marriage is healthy is that

even

when they disagree on things, they're just one

minute away of just laughing at themselves.

You know, they're just a second away of

just, you know, falling into laughter how stupid

this whole fight is and how, you know,

and if they have that peace in their

marriage, meaning even when they're disagreeing, they're still

very close just to you know, to cracking

a, you know, just cracking a smile, laughing

at the fact that they're doing this, then

inshallah they have a healthy enough relationship to

survive because they have some playfulness in it

and they still have that that humor and

that and that joy. And the prophet

said, I want to narrate something for you.

It's not a hadith.

Sorry, it's a hadith but I'm not gonna

read it fully and go into details of

it. But it's something that you hear a

lot and you and a lot of people

think is wrong. You ever heard that, Kamal

al Dinak? Ever heard that piece? So complete

the habit. So that's actually coming from a

hadith. It's narrated with Tabarani Filosot. You know,

Tabarani has 3 Ma'ajimil, kadeer, alosat, and he

erases the osat and it has a standard

hasan.

One of the authenticators of hadith.

He has a long explanation of why he

thinks it's standard Hassan, and the wording is

it,

Whoever got married, then you have half of

your faith, half of your religion, then be

mindful of Allah and the other half. And

the reason, o'ollahu alaihi, in my opinion, is

that because it forces you to show your

character. Like the part of your faith,

half of our faith is the character, how

you are. And who knows you more than

your spouse? No one does. It's what your

spouse thinks of you that really matters. I

know that sounds very difficult for everyone to

understand but it is the reality because who

knows you more than your spouse? Like I

only get the version of you that's here

for Asia. You're nice and you're smiley and

you're good, your best behavior, dressed well, everything

is good. I am doing the same thing.

Then we go home. Then we go home.

And then you know, the real you comes

out, right? So she knows the real you.

That real you is where you have to

show your real character. So if you do

that, then that's half your faith. Have your

you have your faith which is character and

dealing with people and and and and doing

taqwa of someone that you have, Yani, you

have power over. And I'm not saying that

you control your wife but you're When you're

in the house alone with your wife, you

have a lot. You can you can abuse,

you can be silent, you can be kind,

you can you can do you can do

a lot of things that can be done.

So this shows half your character which is

half your deen and I think that's important.

That's the prophet alaihis salam, Aisha talks about

him. What did she say about him? You

wanna know the prophet alaihis salam well? Now,

you wanna know him sallallahu alaihis salam well?

Let's see what Aisha said. And Aisha will

tell you how he was, alaihis salaatu wa

sallam.

He'll tell you what type of person he

was and then you'll know. Oh. This is

him. This is the real him. This is

the him after he walks in through the

door, closes the door and takes off his

gala biya.

And then that's him.

valuable. I hope that's beneficial to you.

valuable. I hope that's beneficial to you.