Friday Sermon Workshop #03
Channel: Adnan Rajeh
File Size: 58.21MB
Smilla Rahmanir Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen Allahu wa salatu salam ala recommanded beginner Muhammad Ali your esophagus remain. So today inshallah we'll continue with the public speaking speaking series that we started a couple of weeks ago. And again, for those who are interested in actually registering, I think boom hammered Highlanders will burn in a bomber hammer, Jimmy will be able to register them.
For the theory part to you everyone's welcome to the show listen. But for the practical aspect of this, we probably need to have numbers so they can do it properly. So last time, we started talking about the theory.
And I divided the series for you between theory. And in practice, we're going to kind of do a couple of sessions where we explain how to do public speaking aspects of it that are focused on delivery. Like today, I suppose they'll be focused on content and being able to put together material what material is important, what isn't. And then we'll talk about my specifics, because really, what I've kind of catered this to is to Jomar, I think is I think it's probably the most powerful tool that we have as an OMA that we are under utilizing. And then we'll have practical sessions where we'll really kind of put all that into practice. And we'll have we'll have small groups, and we'll
improvise, and we'll try things. And we'll get everyone to kind of break through their shells and kind of just let themselves go and make mistakes and get feedback and learn to refine it and fix it and become better. And Sheldon, it's a great skill for everyone to have. That's for sure. So today, we're gonna continue with the delivery. So today we're going to talk about body language I did, I kind of broke it down for you last time a little bit to deliver is going to look like we talked about voice, last time, tone, speed, volume, emphasis of emotions, repetition, stuff like that. So I went into the details of how to use your voice because very important. Being monotonic is not
helpful. Being too loud is not helpful. Being too sharp is not helpful. Not being able to explain your emotions through your voice when you're talking about certain things is not going to be helpful either. But if you use your voice properly, it's a really strong, it's a very strong tool, strong factor in keeping people's attention with you because as I said, content only contributes 7% to people's attention to when you're when you're doing public speaking. 7% is how much people care about in terms when you're doing public speaking. And then everything else is going to be the body language and delivering all that stuff. I think that content deserves, deserves time to be studied
and looked at because it's obviously extremely important. But when it comes to actually the art of public speaking this art content is not that is overrated people, people listen to any any clown who knows how to do these drinks really.
Which is a problem because you'll you'll run into scholars in your life I've ran into scholars, I've run into scholars just call them in my life or lemma it truly like that no one will ever listen to, and they have stuff online and no one will ever listen to these things. I guarantee it, if I tie you down to a chair and forced you, you will not go for more than five minutes before you want. They're not good public speakers. But what they're saying is extremely important is have a level of depth that needs to be needs to be heard. It needs to be respected. But it lacks the basic tools of how this is going to be done. So it's hard to get people to actually benefit from it, which is which is
sad, because we it's our obligation as Muslims actually do better, you know, regarding what we have. So we're talking about body language, we're talking about hands, facial expressions, eyes and postures, you know, the four aspects of body language. That is That is important. Now, if you remember from the numbers I gave you last time, and 7% 35% 60 something percent 60 over that over and over 60 something percent is based on body language, meaning people will be attentive will be interested 60% of that will come from your body language. And then 30 something percent will be the usage of your voice of how you're going to vocalize. And then 7% is for content. So really, this is
the most important part of this whole series.
The body language and next time we talk a little bit more about is going to be this. So this is something that we have to practice, we have to do this together. Yeah, you can learn it. Theoretically, you can hear all the stuff gonna tell you but you have to stand up and try. And you have to be clumsy the first couple of times. And you have to fail a few times in order for this to actually work but it is extremely important. So we'll start with hands.
You need to use them.
You guys stand like this and speak. Unless you only have artificial limbs. This shouldn't be the way you look when you're giving a public speech. Your arms can't be stuck here you have to move them. Again not any all movement is correct the after you move properly, but you need to use your hands, your hands are important. The funny aspect about this or the funny part of all this is that if you were just studying how hip hop genre or Yamaha was were done
historically, you'll find that Arabs specifically and these are cultural specific thing I don't know
did not like that, hopefully, to do something show but
they don't like that you don't like they didn't like the whole thing to be moving their arms a lot. That's why That's why I need public speakers and they were they used they would have something they put their hands on. It was a sword is now because they want to go into war. Did people take this out of context and say that they every company was carrying a sword? No, no, it's not because he wants to fight. But because I do not respect a public speaker who's doing what I'm doing, who's moving his hands a lot and pointing and pulling and emphasizing emotion and talking about No, no, they don't like that, especially in Java. So it was the the tradition was that you would have to hold on to
something. So sometimes you'd have a member, it would have like a pole or you put your hand on it. And sometimes you'd be carrying a stick and sometimes would be a sword, it doesn't really matter. But that's how I did it. That's why Java is very difficult, you want to do it properly. If you really want to do it the way he did it out of your salatu salam, you're going to have to learn to do a good hook been standing like this the whole time, you're going to I'm going to take drummer is going to take away from you 70 to 80% of body language is going to just take it away, no hands, no posture, nothing and take it all the way. Which is which makes it hard, it makes it challenging.
Because public speaking a lot of it is going to be gonna see, the proper use of these tools will make things much more interesting for those who are listening. And Joma kind of takes it away. So you have to really be good at the other aspects of public speaking for it to work. So you need to use your hands definitely. And again, that specific agenda, we'll talk about it more inshallah. So it has the appropriate movements for what is being said, you can't say there was this guy who was extremely facts. And really tall, no, that doesn't work that's very confusing for the person who's listening, it has to be the movements have to actually be appropriate to what is being said. And he
went, but then he came back again. So it has to be you have to be using the right movements. So
the movements of your hands, actually, your, the movements of your hands are going to be the most effective aspect of body language, meaning posture are important. But it's really the movement of your of your hands. If you are to watch a public speaker who's good and muted, what you end up seeing hand movements and gestures. And if you watch it slowly, you're not doing it. You're fast forwarding just based on the movements of the hands, you get a gist of what this guy is talking about which direction he's going, how he's thinking about it, what he's trying to bring forward. So it's actually very, very, it's very important. And it really does make a difference for the person
who's who's listening. This, why is it that is taken away of Jamal, I believe this is my understanding, this is my theory, I believe that is taken out of your mind because Allah subhanaw taala wants those who are here to focus on the content more, because he knows that content doesn't make doesn't really matter to those who are sitting. So we want you to really focus on the content by taking away a lot of these movements that are fun and helpful, but they can distract as well. So the movements have to be appropriate for what is being said. And you can think of a lot of examples. When you're describing things you will describe with your hands a lot of stuff. So when you're
describing stuff with your hands, you have to make sure that you're describing it properly. And when you focus on something want to open up see the movements have to work like that, you can't, it's useless, in my opinion, to use these phrases linguistically, and then not have an arm and hand movements that is appropriate because it makes such a difference. When I say we should open our hearts for non Muslim, that's why we should open remake this movement makes it it makes a difference. The person who is watching and listening relates more connects more of what you're trying to put forward. So make sure that the movements are appropriate for what is being said.
See, to express motions and meanings,
emotions, you'll see this or repeat this every time. I mean, you have to express the emotions and meanings not only with your voice, you have to do it with your with your body language you have to do with your eyes you can do with everything, expressing expressing emotions. It's very important because you're not supposed to ever tell an audience what's your emotion is unreasonable to say I'm going to tell you this, and I am very sad as I do it. And then in the middle is eight but now I'm going to be happy. And then I said no, that is something that you're supposed to pick up on.
Naturally, just by properly
telling the story by using all the tools by making sure that you change your voice and you use your body language use your hands properly, so as to express emotions. So when hands come together, it brings an intensity. It brings a closeness, something's been closed down. So if you want to express sadness, if you want to express difficulty, things come together a bit. If you want to express happiness, if you want to express optimism, your hands open up a bit more.
So So even in the mall
Should as simple as those two, just if even if you're not a master of doing all this, just by something simple, hands come together, things are gonna be are closed or a bit more sad, bit more pessimistic, we open up optimistic or bit happier, we're looking to the future, things feel better just by just by a simple gesture of opening and closing. So emotions need to come out just by moving. That's why if you feel that something was scary, touching the face, or the head, could be a gesture, make sure that your gestures are well thought, don't do things just out of the scratch and they're not there don't don't do that. Like if you're itchy, wait, wait until after. If you're gonna
make a gesture, make sure that it's thought of if someone was going somewhere and saw something that was surprising, if you put your head on your head when you're saying and that's good, that shows that it doesn't mean that you're a surprise, it's just showing that that was the feeling at the moment.
Or he saw something
you already understand what he meant by that. And he saw him either surprised or overwhelmed or scared or something's there based on the context, all these movements will, will make it they'll make it through actually arrive and people will feel it. So make sure that the motions are being expressed through the movements of your hands. And, again, I'm giving a bit of theory. So you can think about it. When we do the practical aspect. That's what will kind of give you a chance to go ahead and watch.
And they'll say well, you know, you said that. But there was no gesture. There was no gesture that fit that fit that emotion or a fit the meaning of what you were saying. And the the examples are endless. I can keep on giving examples all day. And you can think of them yourself. You can think of an example, someone who's who's writing on something, all these little gestures that will help the person who was listening, or watching or attending kind of engage more you want it all to fit and be it'd be in the same direction.
Avoid sudden movements.
Avoid anything sudden, this is not good. No one likes that No one enjoys, it actually can be offensive. People can actually feel uncomfortable.
You send the adrenaline in the blood up too quickly, for no reason, completely uselessly. There's no reason at all. He's sitting there, he's calm. And then you make a gesture. And now he feels I don't want I don't need this. I have enough of this at home.
I didn't come here to feel like I'm sitting with my children. It's not sudden movements are one of the few things few gestures that really don't have a good time. Really, like almost every gesture is appropriate somehow, depending on what the context is, every gesture can be used. sudden movements are one of those few gestures that really don't have a good time. I can't really think of a scenario where a sudden movements is helpful ever. Just avoid them even if the story that you have has a sudden movement. Even if the story that you're telling has someone who does something suddenly avoid a sudden gesture, maybe a sudden vocalization to replace it. Maybe that maybe a sudden facial
expression, but a sudden hand gesture never helpful I've never seen it work that's my experience never seen it work before it's actually very different. It can be sometimes you know, we
shift it to go his his hotbar
he used to give a whole book for an hour and he would give a disclaimer before
you before he said this quote but here's an hour so if you're here for the if you're for the 15 Minute Express
show I'm gonna share bufala just over there it's five minute walk go there he'll he gives 15 minutes you stay here it's an hour, you get on the member, and then he would give a hot bite if someone seemed to be distracted. There were no phones and hamdulillah back then I don't know how he would have dealt with having mobile phones. But there were no phones. Yes, if someone if an old man who Allah He forever an old guy fell asleep. He would bang on the on the member you could bang on the actual would call him out.
I will plan you can go sleep at home if you want to sleep here we're gonna get and he would and he would hit and that was the only part of His blood that I didn't enjoy. Not that he would call it the old guys. I love that part. It's when it's when he is when he did that sudden movement where he hit the member really quickly or hit something. It puts you at a moment that fight and flight and freight and you don't want that you don't want that in public speaking. You want people to be calm, you want them to be engaged. You want them to build their own emotions. You don't want to force something sudden movements forces emotion on people, you don't want to do that.
Avoid tics or mannerisms. Avoid speaking like this, like your some windshield wiper. Avoid movements that are the same. And just keep on saying the same movement say movements again and again again and again. Don't you don't want to do that. You will have a couple of stuff that you do
repetitively, but you don't want to be the same movement. It's a movement just say movement and because if anyone ever moved mutes your hitbox and fast forwards it just looks a guy who's just doing like this for 15 minutes straight so you don't
Want mannerisms or tics, even we talked about mannerisms or tics evoke vocal tics like saying, you know, or pimped it or Yeah, and you know, whatever, you don't want to use those. You want to stay away from vocal tics as much as possible, make sure that you're always saying what you want to say, if you're unsure, be comfortable with silence. It's like we talked about that last time, no problem. Silence is good, use it for your advantage. pauses are awesome. People can hear themselves. But But hand movement takes are there as well. We don't want to be robotic. You don't want this. You don't want the something called Toma. You don't want where both hands are moving in the same direction,
doing the same thing. Every movement is the same, you want each hand to move on its own. Meaning you want to be natural, you just want to allow your normal gestures come forward. Anything that seems to be systematic, and anything that seems to be to synchronize doesn't seem natural, people don't like it. So watch out for ticks or mannerisms with your with your with your hand movements, they can be very, very detrimental to what you do.
Funny, funny aspect about this, when I was young, really, really young, when I first listened to someone teaching how to do public speaking, they actually told them to do this, they would they would actually tell them, you know, you should go like this during your hotbar or go like this, give them like movements to do and these poor people would actually do it, they would learn it and they would go up there and the Republic speak was always the same hand gesture that made no sense that didn't emphasize any emotion did not explain the meaning was not helpful. And made it seem very robotic. And it's not something that people enjoy. You watch it and you can get very annoying.
Minimize finger pointing this not good. Not good. It's just not good. I do this every once in a while and always regret it. Because you can't help. But don't don't put point. Use your full hand as the narration that we have in my mind, kind of Salalah Haley's in a movie, it'll be when the mechanical shear will be. Because he like he won't have you pointed with his full hand never with his finger. Finger is too much of a singling out. It singles up people too much you try it point at someone to speak to them. Even if it's just me doing just doing this as a joke. I don't know the brother, but I keep on pointing at him for more than a couple of seconds, he's going to feel
uncomfortable. Even if he knows it is just for the for the practice. No, for the sake of showing us wrong, it feels very, it feels like very invasive, you're invading someone's space, you're making them feel that somehow they did something wrong with it, they and they don't, they're not here for that they don't want that they're not here to engage with you. And they're not here to be pointed out or talk to. So be very careful with the finger pointing.
You will do it, I can guarantee if you're an adult, you will 100% do this, you can't help it. But try not to try to keep your hand open, not your fingers, keep your hand.
And we'll give examples of how that can also translate into content because you don't want to say the word you a lot you want to say yes, sir me? Can I take it upon yourself don't don't don't accuse people of stuff. But we'll talk about venturella with content. So minimize finger finger pointing to the best of your ability. All right, so that's kind of the hand, the gestures part, and talking about facial expressions.
Again, a very important part of your about body language is being able to use your facial expressions. You This is I think, a part of body language that is underestimated and underutilized. And people don't understand how important it is. Yes, I think I still believe and it is not my personal
take on it. This is actually what scholars of public speaking saying that the hand gestures are probably the most important of all, if you know how to do them, you know how to use them then that you're going to be fine and Charlotte public speaker, but facial expressions they talk about and they always refer to it as something that is not being used properly. And it can it can be. So let's talk about a few aspects of facial expressions, your face has to be well lit, not by the number of your Pm you can show that's what you'll have. But what I mean by is that make sure there's a light that lays your face so that people can see your face. You don't want to be standing in a place where
it's dark. And other people say no, that's very, and I've seen that happen has happened to me a couple of times it is very difficult. You need to figure out a way to and we'll talk about that show next time. So make sure that your face is well lit that people can actually see your facial expressions properly. And they have good visibility of what's going on. You'll be surprised, not well, there's not an issue of surprise, really, if you're interested to look into how children are able when they see the faces of their mothers to know almost immediately just by looking at their face, whether they're happy, sad or upset. Even at a very young age. This the smallest details of
changing a face tells you exactly we learned we as human beings. We learned this from a very young age. But then we were taught to to not trust our instincts. So we start it we delve that skill off. We drill it off a little bit. We don't also when we look at someone they say You don't look well today, they're gonna I'm fine. I'm fine, right? So you're like, Oh, I must be
wrong. So now now you're you're, you're not trusting your instinct, even though the first thing to look at their face like there's something wrong. There's no change in color, there's just something wrong, you don't know, you just, you feel it. It's not because it's not this mystic thing. No, it's just small details and facial expressions that we are actually programmed as human beings to pick up with their own eyes and, and translates to feelings and emotions that this person looks in distress. So don't ever distrust your instinct and your guts. If you look at someone, and they don't look like they're doing well, 99% of the time, they're not doing well. And actually, a lot of things get
missed, and a lot of problems occur and a lot of suffering continues, because of people who don't trust their guts on the way they again, that's a kind of a sidetracking. But I think it's important to understand that you really do have within you a programming a pre programmed system that allows you to figure out how to identify people's facial expressions and understand their emotions from it, especially those who you know, well, those whom you know, well your parents or your siblings or your siblings or your spouse's your children. So if you look at their faces, and an emotion comes to mind, go with it. If you look at your kid, your teenager and you think they're lying,
100% they're lying, they can stand there and tell you that they're not for as long as they want. If you look at them and feel they're lying, they're lying. It's just instinct, and you can go by it as a father, you can tell us my arguments. This is a very sophisticated argument I just gave you right now. You can totally use this i i am programmed as your father, but you know, when you are not feeling well, and when you are in distress, or you're lying and right now, there's something wrong. And we're gonna stand here until this is fixed and figured out because it's stuff like that, when let go that, you know, just keep on piling up and never get fixed anyways. So make sure your face is
well lit. No obscuring obstacles, so no masks, never. If you're told you need to give a public speech with the masks they sit on while they come and leave. Do not do it. Don't have a microphone up here in the face. They should be they shouldn't be miked. Have you ever seen those older? Well, they have like 16 microphones and you get no no, no, none of that nothing should be obscuring the view of the audience to your face. That's why the profile is so awesome was given a member. That's why because at a certain point, I imagined Subhanallah that there were so many people sitting listening to him and watching him that the people at the end could no longer see his face properly.
That's how many people would come so they needed to build something where they stand up a bit higher so they can see his face of Allah he's like you said they had to see his face. Of course his face Ali Hassan says Baraka neuron its own. But the concept is still the same. That seeing the public speakers face is very important. So make sure that there's no nothing obscuring your vision. This here is a problem. See, this little thing is, it bothers me, it may not bother you bothers me a lot in this little camp. I hate speaking to a camera, because it's an obstacle. It's not a person. Over the last couple of months, I've been forced to learn to speak to a camera. Cameras are very boring
people, they do not respond to anything you say they have no feedback, they have no facial expressions themselves, they show nothing, no emotion to what you see. So they're not very helpful as an audience. And right now with this thing here, it feels very abnormal, because it's obscuring my view of at least one or two brothers, which is wrong. It shouldn't be the case. So we're actually teaching this but there's mistakes being made. And you'll see a lot of that, meaning I'll be telling you to do something. But I'm not doing it myself. So don't don't judge me. But that's how things work. No one I don't think you can ever be a perfect public speaker, but you're gonna You can aspire
to be similar to him out of his thoughts too soon, because that's definitely what he was.
Smile. Make sure you smile. Make sure that you smile, no matter how daunting and difficult, and
I don't know, heartbreaking. The topic you're talking about is make sure at some point you remember to smile at the beginning at the end, do it do what even if just once because that is the way the audience knows that you are a human. That's how people were sitting here figured out Oh, he's hungry. He's human. Because if you don't smile, they you feel you feel that something's wrong. There's something not right here someone who's constantly serious their facial expression. Facial expressions are always like this the whole time the whole time. No, no, no, you need to smile. I'm telling you, you could be talking about either of Jahannam you have to find a moment during the talk
to smile even if you just pause and smile if you can't think if you have nothing if you have no material that allows you to smile, then pause and just smile for a second pause again and continue. It's very important that the smile comes through whether even Jumaane by the way, it is awesome with smile. We know that for a fact even though he will be very very Yeah, I need I told you to his persona is different on the number and we'll talk about it in more detail as he talked about drama, but even then he would smile. He just would do it again. Yeah, he was masterful and when he did it and how he did it Ali his thought was I'm so it wasn't inappropriate. So it's important to that the
smile is appropriate.
If it was being said, you can't smile at something that you shouldn't be smiling on. Right? Be very careful about about these issues sometimes.
Now I have a very odd I put this abnormal sense of humor, to say the least. So things that will make me laugh.
The majority of human beings wouldn't be wouldn't find it funny. So I have to be careful when I'm saying something. That to me sounds hilarious. Knowing that a lot of people listening, they don't find that funny at all. They don't find it amusing whatsoever. So smiling can actually and actually, I got called out on this number of times in my life a couple of times, and what if I got called out on it? By you know, you were saying this and you were smiling was so funny. So I had to spend a good half an hour trying to explain to this old uncle what it was, but there's no way that ever he's gonna ever understand what I'm talking about. There's it's impossible. The context, the cultural
context is so far away, it's not even worth it. So I just apologize and say, I won't do it again. But but really, it's important to understand that your smile is should be there, you should use it, definitely. Just make sure it's appropriate. Make sure the joke is funny. Don't again, we talked about joking last night and humor, right? Yeah, of course, if you're gonna use humor, you're gonna have to smile, you can't use humor, and B, people won't know that you're joking. Some possibly have to actually know a smile. So just make sure it's appropriate for what's being said, just as a side point, Inshallah, and I'll give you will give exercises when we do the practice. I'll give you an
exercise. I'll give you a joke. I'll give you something to say here, say this, how would you do it? Would you smile here? Would you wouldn't you do not smile? Where would you smile, because not every part of the joke is funny, some parts of it. If you smile in the wrong part, that everyone gets confused, the joke over and over, you just should laugh. And then you have people laughing in the wrong time. It's very awkward and doesn't work anymore. To be very careful.
the usage of your eyes. So we've talked about the hands, right? I use your hands, your facial expressions, people need to see, they need to see your facial expressions, what's being said, if you're feeling disgusted, this Oh, your face and look, if being happy, your face should open up and brighten, your smile should be there. If you're feeling in pain, scrunched down again, if you're feeling sad, then to be honest, it's hard to actually it's hard to act
unless you're an actor, unless you've been trained somewhere, but I'm not. I've never been trained. So I don't know. It's hard to hack. These things have to come by genuinely sometimes. But what I'm trying to get you to do is to pay attention to not block it. Because sometimes you're standing here, the your guard is up. And you're very self conscious about what people are seeing and thinking and saying probably are gonna say later. So you put up all these walls, which sometimes doesn't allow you to express what you're feeling and thinking naturally. Mean naturally, if I'm sitting with you in a coffee shop and asked you to tell me about something that hurts you, your face will tell the
story, your hands will tell the story, your eyes will tell the story will be fine. But if you're standing here, that may not be the case, because you're blocking a lot of your emotions, you're blocking which is good, you should some emotions need to be need to be blocked a little bit and controlled a little bit. But not all your emotions. And your facial expressions have to be telling others at the appropriate time to be telling others what you're feeling. What you're thinking, if you're sad, that has to be apparent on your face, something hurt you that bothered you should be able to see it not just your voice but also your your facial expressions.
so I knew I thought home Allah may Allah want to grant all those who are ill.
Brothers and sisters who have who are on the spectrum, or have some level of autism. They struggle with this. That's one of the they struggle with expressing their emotions
in any form. So as as a parent or as an acquaintance, someone who knows them, you they won't say anything so you don't know but they don't eat there's there's so they struggle with emotion so much that they don't even express it facially. So it's hard when you're looking at them to know whether they I had a teacher scholar with me, who was 100% autistic 100% He, he was not interested in spending a moment with anybody, not a student not we couldn't get any time off this person at all. He had people attending in the 1000s who had finished his halacha go home he wouldn't say sounds to anybody. He didn't wait for people to you know, thank him. None of that just went to him. It wasn't
interesting. His his problem was that whenever he told stories that were very, very, very emotional and powerful, he there was no facial expressions that came with it was hard for those who are attending some time to figure out the shift actually feel because you would make you become emotional, but you look at him and he
wasn't emotional. And it was confusing is it a shame not feeling any of this? I remember this one time, in maybe 10 years of attending with him one time that he told us a story. And the story was that it was during the time of the death of the Prophet it was to them. He told this story, and not one facial expression occurred. But one single tear around on his face. That was it. When I knew that, okay, he was, he's feeling something, but nothing, nothing. So some people actually struggle with this, which is fine, and doesn't mean you can't be a good public speaker. But what we do usually, and I've done this before, with, I've had a student who had issues with us on the spectrum,
and we're gonna help them with how to kind of use your facial expressions. Most I don't think anyone attending here, maybe some may struggle with this. But it's something to stay conscious of that you need to learn to use your facial expression, let them let them kind of flow naturally. And normally, and if you struggle with that, then that's something that definitely practice your eyes. So what you're going to do is you do four seconds, you look at someone for three to four seconds, any longer can make them feel very, very uncomfortable. And if I stand here, and I just stare this whole target brotherhood at the end of it, you'll feel there's something definitely wrong. It doesn't doesn't
work. And you'll, again, you'll single people out, I remember,
in school, as a student, sometimes I would be the student in the class, and the teacher was speaking only to me, like throughout the whole class, I would be the only person this teacher looked at the whole class, I think, I think the reason is because he had no hope. And anyone else learning besides me at that point is Allah, but doesn't work. If you give a public speech, and you just look at one person or two people, or three, or even four, but the same people, it doesn't work, you shouldn't do that. It has to be three to four seconds, and then you move on. This is these are numbers, I didn't make up these numbers, these are numbers that those experts talk about that three to four seconds,
and then what are you going to count? No, you're not going to count, this is going to happen with practice, you're gonna have, you're gonna do this, and you're gonna have others watching, and give you feedback that too much too little. That's our job to help you out too. So you can learn to kind of make those movements. If you're too quick. It doesn't work either.
Not for the person who's listening. But for you.
If you're too quick and moving, you're not reading, because what you're doing when you're looking at people is that you're reading, you're reading your audience. That's why I said it's very difficult now to read the audience. I have no idea what you guys are feeling. Because I can't see your facial expressions. So I don't know if this has been has this been beneficial? Are you bored out of your mind? Are you I don't know it's impossible, are you? Are you upset? It's hard, because unless actually, I'm getting better at reading the eyes and the smile. I'm actually much better now than I was maybe a year ago, I can look at the eyes and figured out those eyes or there's a smile under
them or not. But it's still difficult to do. It's not easy. So it takes away a lot from you as a public speaker when you can't see faces. So if you're still quick, if it's a second, and you're neurotic and just looking, it doesn't work because you can't read you're not getting any no information is being filtered in, which is very important. You're taking in this information, you're seeing people enjoying not enjoying, you're going to adjust and adjust your time Adjust your posture, adjust your movement, adjust your tone, you have to adjust something if people seem not to be engaged. So it's important to give those three to four seconds, anything longer can make the
All right. It has to be spontaneous, not symptomatic, systematic, I can't go like this theater for a second. So brother, I'm humbled a little even three, four seconds over here to brother energy within three to four seconds, I'm gonna go over to the end of the room, and then I go back again and they started that doesn't work. If you're systematic people will pay attention that you're going systematically, it has to be spontaneous. You just go from one person to the other, just based on again, naturally just what you would do in a natural situation. Nothing systematic works in public speaking, and he systematic movement and he's systematic, nothing, just robotic people don't connect
People want to connect to another human being not to a robot. So if you're if you seem robotic, if everything is systemized and everything is following an algorithm that is well definitely worth it. There has to be spontaneity, in order for this to actually be beneficial. So think about that has to be spontaneous, it can't be systematic.
So the last aspect of body language is posture.
Standing is better, there's a 14% increase in people's attention span, and their likelihood to be attentive to what you're doing. When you go from sitting to standing. Just the simple the simple action makes a huge difference. Now I have to admit, I am lazy. It's like look
I give most of my halacha sitting down just because I'm lazy. There's really no other reason for it. Besides that I'm just too tired to stand up every single night three or four nights a week not doing it I stand up enough elsewhere. I'm gonna sit down here if you're not going to pay attention and don't have to, but actually if we're doing
This right? We should you shouldn't give it sitting now. That's why you jump while you stand up, you know, sit down, even though the prophit is so some gave most of his talks sitting down on his left to some during his life. And it's fine. It doesn't mean that you can't sit down, no, some eyes I'll we'll talk about in some talks are better suited to be given sitting down and talking, none of them should be given lying down. But sitting down is definitely an acceptable way of giving a talk if that's appropriate. But just to be honest, standing is always better. It's great to sit here, but if you stood up, it would be better. How am I how much better if i 14% it would just increase that is
better. So standing is definitely better.
Now a few points about standing, don't give the audience your back ever don't stand and point at anything, guys. That's what teachers did at school, it was a it's a horrible mistake, never give them your back. Especially don't give it to kids. You gave your kids your back and you're done. I mean, that's
never do that. And it's just not a wise thing to do. Don't get, just don't give the audience your back. They're not here to look at your back and it actually disconnects. You're building a connection this whole time, we're talking and talking and they're getting connected. And then you turn your back. And it's like you're just connecting the internet, like it took off the Wi Fi for a few seconds. Now the face is not there, the eyes aren't there, the facial nothing's there anymore. They're just seeing this doesn't look doesn't help. Don't even stand sideways, what I was taught, don't even stand like this. When you speak to people. It's up to you don't pace back and forth
through your side to them. Unless of course it's purposeful. Again, something that is purposeful is different, like if you turn your back and that's a part of your story.
Meaning again, body language if you're saying and then this person came and he turned in the profit. So I said I'm turned his back to him for a moment. That's fine. That's fine, because that is actually explained. But in general, don't turn your back for any other reason not to fix your hair not to look at something just always stay. The solder and the face to the Prophet eyes are never actually, if you study his his movements, he would never really move his neck a full 90 degrees to look at something. You wouldn't look like this. If you want to look at something he would move his whole torso would move he wouldn't like this.
Not that he couldn't move his neck he wouldn't. But he wouldn't move 90% Like you would you would not you wouldn't go full 90 degrees, he would go maybe a little bit but not the full 90. It besides prayer Sidama. Even then, there was a movement that the mighty Kia specifically will teach you. There's a movement with the shirt with the shoulder that comes with that anyways.
So don't give the audience your side. Stand straight.
Don't stand? I'll tell I'll tell you this story. So I think I told the story before. So the first job I ever gave was in the
I think my first year of university. During the summer, we have to go to military camps for summer, a month every year, it was horrible. If you had to go to these things, they wouldn't let you pray. You're not allowed to actually pray in the Syrian army. So some contexts where you're not allowed. If you do you go to jail. So we would go and go for a full month but because they were all students, things were a bit more lenient for us, to a certain extent not really. But it was also a bit more lenient with us because we're all you know, medical students, so we're doctors and you know,
whatever that means, so that will make it so the first Friday that came along, we're like, you know, we can hear that I never from all the surrounding area that were in Oregon to pray to mind today. Not gonna be July today. So my friend Khalid Shabbat, and he's down in Detroit in Wayne State. He's an ICU physician there now. So he and I were in tend to go there's like, Let's go seems everyone's walking down. He's like, Yeah, we're gonna go there. It seems like there's gonna be a quick jump out there. Let's go. So we walk over there, we get there when the moment we get there. We see like 50 Almost 100 People others are great. There's gonna be a drama apparently someone's gonna give a hug
but and how did the Lazio here he comes in, he shoves me up front and he makes it done. And I'm standing there and apparently they had agreed that I was gonna be getting the hook but he's making it then he's telling me and I'm standing there in front of people. Everyone's ready for their job, and I have nothing I've prepared nothing. I've not even ready. And I've never given a job I had given I've done I had done public speaking before, not a drama. So I stood there and had to come up like on the spot with maybe three I don't have no idea when I talked about I have no recollection of anything I said. But what I do remember regarding posture, is that I couldn't stand the street. I
was so nervous that my left leg was
was making a tapping sound like this.
And it was audible many people could hear it for some reason. I don't know what it was under me but it was making a sound and I moved a few steps to see maybe if this sound wouldn't come out anymore but it kept on coming out so it was very embarrassing because he's making a dent and I'm sounding like a rabbit here just hanging up his pounding. So I find so I look for the pool like that in the we're in the area that I'm standing in can't remember what they call them anymore. That was just an open just has a
concrete roof and concrete
flooring and then just a couple of beams and that's it. There's no There's no walls. I don't know they have a name in Arabic. I can't remember the anymore. So I went and I found the beamer I stood on it and I put my hand on it and I kind of leaned so I gave the hook but at a 45 degrees like this just to get my left leg off the ground so it was stopped because it was still shaking.
still pounding the ground and just I give a hug.
They would come up to me and say why, why build mail? Yes, yes, why you're giving the whole bubble mailer? Why crooked anyway, that's true. But it was a necessity at the moment. So he's going to stand straight, don't stand awkwardly, none of this stuff.
Crossing your legs are not enough, just just stand no crazy movements, no stretch, you're not, you know, giving a fitness class just to stand straight and face the, that's all you need to do. It's very simple. This is a very simple aspect to public speaking, you stand straight face, people, don't give them your side to give your back unless, of course, it's for a purpose. And just don't be awkward and the way you stand,
if standing is better, we'll move things better. And I'm not moving because drama is not gonna catch it and end up outside of the camera and look ridiculous, but moving is better. Not, you're gonna have to, you're gonna have to, you're gonna have to do something. So you can't you can't be just walking back and forth, walking back and forth is completely useless. This here doesn't work at all people do this. And you can see it's not helpful. You shouldn't be walking, walking back and forth quickly or slowly walking is not good. But moving is what's the best way to do it, it's half step, half step, that's what they say, you take a step, and then a half step,
full step and then a half have to just kind of move from one place to the other slowly, just small movements. Again, a sudden movements aren't helpful. So if you're pacing, you're pacing, that is that qualifies to a certain extent, a sudden movement, and it kind of makes everyone feel distracted. And the person that you're close to now it feels you're far away, that change makes them feel uncomfortable. And the person that was far away from now I'm close to them, now they're feeling what's gonna happen and call me I'm gonna speak to him, he's going to actually move in the right place. So it's not asking all these questions, it makes everyone feel very uncomfortable, and you're
moving too much, again, working, the crowd will talk about and it's important. But watch out in terms of how you move moving is better. Definitely, if you're moving around. Again, another thing that's taken away during drummer can't do that you can't be walking around, unless you have a member that is big enough to kind of walk around. But in general, you shouldn't be walking around. So moving is better, but it's hard to do it. So stop, step half, step one is
just take a step, and then half a step, then maybe another half step. So you make it you minimize the amount of movement, but you stay moving, you keep on kind of coming a bit closer here, but you stay within a radius. That is acceptable, of course, unless you're doing theater. Again, this is acting or
stand up comedy or is different if you're different types of performances have different laws and rules in terms of how the public speak how the performance is going to be given. The public speaking that I'm referring to is mostly any other educational, motivational, Islamic, any information or something like that.
All these laws are the same. So just kind of keep it keep it a step have done nothing more than that. Don't hold your own hand, like it's broken. This here, this is like this, this doesn't look good. So don't hold hands. Don't Don't, don't, don't be like this, if you're going to stand your posture shouldn't be like this. As if you need someone hit you on your left arm and you're in pain, and you need someone to put a cast on it just don't don't hold your hand like it's broken. They call it actually just as it has a syndrome, the Broken Hand Syndrome in Arabic invited us into the editor MCSA, you're holding your hand, don't do that. So your posture, and you're standing straight you're
facing, that's all good. So you're moving around. But then what you do, if you don't want to be using your your hands and just let them lie, normally, you don't need to do something, you will feel the need to I know I do, especially in Joomla you feel the need to put them and that's fine. I think this is fine. I think if you're doing it if you're reciting on your part of the Quran, or maybe music, but I still think it's not helpful. I still don't think it looks good. Just think about it this year, or just standing normally is way better. If you need to stand the natural way you're supposed to stand, don't hold anything.
Just better. Again, you're supposed to be using your hand gestures, your hands are just lying there you're holding it that mean that means you're not using this part, which is a very powerful tool as we as we explained. All right, I have some tips.
i This may relate to you a lot. It may not. So it doesn't forgive me. But for some of you this may be something important and relevant.
have heard of loss of phobia.
This is the most common phobia
on the planet. This is the most common phobia. phobia is an irrational fear, right? That's what a phobia is an irrational fear of something. So if you say well, I have a phobia, you know of guns that are aimed at my face. And now it's not a phobia, someone who's aiming gun at you that you shouldn't be scared. A phobia is irrational fear something you shouldn't like you're scared of cats or scared of
spiders. These are very, very common phobias that exist in the world. You can go dogs and other animals that are harmless or aren't again, the amount of fear is just it's not proportionate to the actual threat that this thing has. So claustrophobia is the fear of public speaking, is the fear of standing up in front of people and
This is the most common it's up to, it's up to 75%. Some studies, there's some studies that actually say 75% of the human race
would rather die than stand up in front of people and speak. That's what that's what it says. Me, they fear public speaking more than they fear death itself. So they'd rather die than be told, Okay, stand up and speak to, I find that the numbers here in this country are much lower. I think these studies because I remember, like I actually have some of these studies. But these studies, I believe, were done in a different part of the not not in North America. Because when I came here, I found this not to be the the it's not, it's not the case. People go through the public system of schools, here they are, they're better trained on doing public speaking, but I knew this was the
fact where I came from in Syria 100%, the fact 100%, they would rather die, then you push them forward and have them say something in front of anybody, or present themselves or just say a word is very diff they find it very difficult. So this was, I did, I've done this before, with, with youth back there. And it's and it really did help them I could see how this affected their lives. But I thought it was important thing to do. I don't think it's I don't this aspect is as strong here. But I think it's still there. I think it's normal for you to say, Well, I feel very, very nervous and scared before. That's fine. You are actually normal. If you told me no, no, I have no if you're like
14 and you tell me I have no fear of giving public speaking anywhere that I will have you see a psychiatrist because you're probably a sociopath. Because it's not enough. No, that's not normal for you not no fear, you should feel a bit nervous, a bit a bit scared, a bit unsure about yourself, you're gonna come and speak in front of a lot of people. That's That's normal. It's not, that's natural. Just one of the most common phobias, if not the most common of all, again, maybe I think these studies need to be done on a larger scale to kind of figure out is there is there a difference, I believe there's a difference between North America and Europe and probably a lot of
the other parts of the world that don't have proper teaching systems where you just sit there for 12 years straight, and you're barked at by some guy. Now, you're not gonna you'll learn to speak. But here you have much more is much it's much more interact is much more interactive. So if you're shaky, just hold on to something.
If you're shaky, that's fine. Hold on, just hold on to a chair, if you feel like you're really shaky, and you're, and you can't, and you can't hide how shaky you are, hold on to something is fine, until you kind of calm down. Once you get through a couple of minutes of speaking, you'll calm down and you can let go. Maybe shaky just hold on to anything. That's what I didn't hold on to the beam is fine, but I didn't get better, but still need to hold on to something you feel very shaky, that's fine. And this will happen by the way, you're sweaty, fine, sweat as much as you want. Just soak it in, it gives you it doesn't matter. As long as it's not becoming apparent on you. If you're
not like staining, then you should be fine. Sweating doesn't matter. It's just it's a natural part of feeling a bit nervous and standing in front of people. So if you're feeling sweaty, don't don't pay attention to that. Don't waste time thinking about it, don't worry about it, just let it just swept, it's covered, and it's hidden doesn't matter and go home and have a shower, you'll be fine. It just was Be careful. We'll talk about that a bit later. Be careful what you wear, don't wear something that can be come apparent if the smallest amount of sweat or change but be smart about what you how you dress you know, baggy like me. So you don't know how fat I am right now. I'm very
fat. But this is a very good camouflage for it. So just be smart in what your dress so that it actually bigger. And we'll talk about venturella more. But when it comes to sweating, spying, just soaking up, all eye contact. Now, if you find difficult to give eye contact, I told you two or three seconds and move on. Right? That's hard, I'll tell you, I'll tell you this trick. I did this for like, four, four years.
So you look at the last person in the room. I'm over their last person. So I look at him. And then I look maybe half a meter above his head, right. And then I do the same thing two to three seconds in each place. I move around. Now right now you don't know that I'm not looking at anybody that I'm just looking at the wall, you think that I'm looking at people, but really I'm not. I'm just staring at the wall. And that's fine. So if you, if you if you feel nervous, and you look at someone, and you feel that, oh, I don't want to look at that person. And you like, sometimes sometimes, if you go through this the way I did, you will start giving public speeches in very small groups I used to, I
started with me four or five people, sometimes three. Sometimes you're standing in front, these three people, and they don't like you and you don't like them. And that's just how life is right. So they don't want to look at you. And you don't really want to look at them either. So what you do is very, very easy. So what you do is you use what I just said, just look above their heads. I remember I used to do this.
One of them came to me later said, You know what, every time you do this hook bump, you make me feel like there's some dude behind me attending and there's no way I'm the last person here. I'm like, Yeah, that's exactly why you do it because I don't want to look at you. You don't want to look at me either. It's awkward for whatever reason. So it's very simple. Just look above the last head just a little bit not too high. Not like this where people know that you're insane. Just look just look a little bit above the last head in the room and then just do what you were doing before in terms of looking
get, you know, two or three seconds and moving, moving around until you calm down. Once you can't, but what happens here is that you're losing.
As I talked about you losing that connection, there's two to three moments, seconds is already two or three seconds, that you're spending looking at someone, and then looking back at you, you're building a connection, that connection is important. It's very important. That's why you should, that's why you're looking, you're reading, they're reading you, his facial expressions, if you're not doing that you're losing on the ability to read your audience. But look, if you're very nervous, at some point, fine, look above. Do that for a bit until you feel comfortable to look down. And then you'll start to see people you look at them, and they'll run away.
They'll look away, you look at them again to look away. So you know, something's wrong, I suppose. And he doesn't like it and enjoying it. Something offended them something, you don't have to fix it. But now you know, you have something to later on, build on your feedback, there was something there wasn't this, how you that? It's a very self regulatory system in terms of how you do public speaking, you pick up on things on your own, you don't need people to come and tell you everything. You just you can figure it out. Yeah, I personally didn't enjoy how you know, I know. It wasn't enjoying it. Facial expressions, eye contact, none of it worked. So that wasn't helpful for them. So
you're trying to figure out, okay, why, what can I do next time to fix that. So it doesn't happen again. So I can actually offer them something, you're this is a service,
you're doing this, this is a service, this is all it is, you're here to serve, you're giving a speech, you're trying to help others if it's not helpful, you need to either sit down or modify it. So becomes helpful, very simple. So you have to learn to read and can take feedback. So if you're nervous, look up, look above a little bit, go back and forth until you feel comfortable, and then start making some eye contact. And then you start reading and figure things out. All right, if you're nervous.
This is my routine, you invocate you may come up with your own dhikr on giving your mind come up with your own, have your own little guard this we had to or something that you do, read them. And then close your eyes. Take a deep breath.
Then smile. Just smile, just smile because you want to relax yourself for a moment. Just relax yourself, and then stand up and be the person that Allah created you to be. And if you're a horrible person, then just be that I don't know. That's whatever.
You'll you'll learn you'll change yourself because people don't want to listen to horrible people. But that's what you have to do it again, publishing helps you change your character a lot. Well, you'll you'll figure that out as you go along. But that's my that's my routine, just to kind of invocate close your eyes, take a very deep breath, open up, smile, and just stand up and be you. You speak you speak the way you speak. And if people like that, then great. And if not learn why and try to see what's worth changing about you. I have to I have to learn a lot of things that need to change about me some things I'm not happy that I changed some things I am some things I haven't yet
failed to. Some things I've really tried, I've really tried to slow down will lie.
Again, I just take this is, again, when I actually I took a trial where I slipped where I had someone Yanni listen to me and, and give me feedback on the spot telling me to slow down like it's until I got to the speed that they thought was proper. It wasn't one person, it was a couple. So when I finally arrived at the speed that everyone was happy with, I couldn't function anymore. Like my brain wouldn't I couldn't do it. Like my brain was not able to, I couldn't produce, I couldn't speak I couldn't think I couldn't explain I couldn't express anything. I just I dialed myself down to the point where I wasn't able to deliver anything anymore. And I tried and I couldn't do it. So
you will run into stuff like that. And your public speaking experience is where you feel like you know what, I can't do this very well. Alright, that's okay, as long as you know it, because if you know it, then you can make up for it by doing something else really well. And just understand the idea here. If there's something that you're not doing well find something else to do really well. And we'll make up for it and I'll be fine. Again, Now, some people public speakers, they can't stand up and yell at him. They're ill they can't set up. So that means what they can never get. No, they can't. They definitely can make up for that loss by just doing other things a bit better. Imagine
something funny if you're really, really nervous. And this is specifically for my younger brother. If you're really nervous. Imagine that everyone has a new Potato Head. Imagine something naughty, naughty, or whatever you want to do. Just imagine something that makes it it makes a laugh, right? Because once you start laughing on the inside, you relax, you relax, you calm down, and it's easier for you to kind of communicate. So think of something fun I used to always think of the mermaid she'll say your local homebrew Samba please.
Just imagine that watermelon heads and then then you'll find it hilarious and you'll stand up there for a moment and you'll be smiling again, don't smile in the midst of something that is very serious, but it just helps you relax again. If you're not nervous, then you don't need any of this. But I'm just saying if if that's something that you struggle with, it's fine. Last point would be don't don't review right before if you're nervous. Don't go and say I forgotten to know just the law. Whenever you have a
Give it just whatever you have just just give it. I think that for the first six years of doing this, I would deliver less than 25% of what I had prepared. I think that's what made me quit. Because I always had so much material. And especially little time at the beginning, you would go with like, 100%. And then I would forget immediately 75% of it gone. I'm stuck with a few ideas, and that's all I got yet left, that's fine. Deliver them, deliver the little that you have, that's fine. Don't don't feel like Oh, I forgot about one point and I'm gonna say this, okay, this is going to happen. It's always gonna happen. It's just always gonna happen.
Make sure you're empty. Before any public speaking endeavor. Make sure you have went to the bathroom. It's very important. anything, anytime we're standing in front of people for any reason, whether it's salah, or football or public speaking, go to the bathroom first, just trust me on that one, you want to go to the bathroom. If you stand up and you speak and you need to go to the bathroom? It really doesn't, doesn't, you'll definitely have much more body language, that's for sure. But but I'm not sure it'll be the appropriate type of body language.
Yeah, and that's the end of it for me. When I what I
will do Inshallah, for the next
we're gonna, we're gonna close this down. I'm actually not working the next couple of Monday's SubhanAllah. But But I don't know if we should continue or maybe give it like a two week break. Let them upload these videos, I know, there's a couple of people who are who were hoping to
join this and so on, I'm happy for as many people to join, I just need I just need a number so that when we do the practices, I have proper groups, it's really it's really that planning part that's a bit difficult and takes time. The theory is open anyone can really attend, it's not a problem. So I think there's a bunch of people who want to attend and want to attend the practical part. So what we'll do is we'll we'll stop maybe for two weeks, Christmas and New Year's, we'll have them upload all these videos.
And then we'll resume after that. I'm hoping that maybe after that we're coming closer to the point where we know whether in sha Allah that message will reopen again soon or whether we're going to be stuck, you know, closed for for a couple of a couple of weeks or months after that, which I hope is not the case of Allah he make dua for this remains very depressing this idea of closing yet again. But that's my plan for now. That next Monday, the Monday after will be off the Monday after Inshallah, if we're still locked down and no one can come to the masjid then I'll do this. With a higher level of quality level, I'll do it virtually. I mean, I'll talk to him on here and his
camera. And we'll you know, we'll deliver it and it will be put online and you can again the theory you don't necessarily need to be here again, public speaking you can just did not understand why though right? Now understand based on this, why it is not fun to do something virtual, you sit in front of a camera, you speak to it, it is not it is not enjoyable, it sucks the life out of public speaking is not fun. It's there's nothing, there's no engagement, there's no connection, I don't know whether you're actually benefiting from it, but I can't be emotional or emphasize anything or feel because there's no one in front of me to connect to I'm just speaking to him to that. And he
will just go yeah, he's a good guy. And he still is when it's difficult to do it with with that. So we'll show up my plan is that if we stay closed down, and we know what's going to be a bit long term, couple of weeks, I don't want to kill this off. I'll start recording. And we'll do it live and then we'll upload the recording as well until the seventh, I think there'll be ended up being maybe seven, eight sessions. I was thinking six but probably a little maybe one extra session for this to work out we'll all item and then once we're done, if it's still we're still locked down, we'll just wait until the lockdown goes because this the actual practical part needs we need to be in physical
and physical space so that we can actually see again, need to see facial expressions, there has to be that kind of natural actuality of existence with it within a public speaking setting. Insha Allah so that's the plant Yes. practices that we can do between. Well, I'll tell you this, what my My teacher used to tell me is kind of Moshe he has seen a lot or hyperbole is a lie very old. I'm not sure if I misspoke in years. He was telling me it told me who gave you a hug but to the trees, give you a whole bunch of wolves, anything just go speak to things speak your stand and speak as you would speak to a group of people look at something that's alive and speak to it. So you're telling
me go take it to your trees because no one's to speak to Stan. I've given Halaqaat in the masjid to no one
didn't happen many times. But I've done it at least three times in my life where I entered a vote to give a halacha and no one came. And I sat and I give the Halacha and no one was there. I remember that one of those three times. One of the hidden messages the person who
was new, he came in and he saw me giving the Halacha so he walked out and he walked back in again. He looked in there he's like, What are you doing? You're alone? No, look, I made it. My plan today is that after Isha I'm giving this halacha whether people come or not I'm filling me with the Hadassah because I prepared for it. I want to give it to you. So he actually he's not looking at that there's okay well, I'll listen to it. If you're gonna do it. So my advice to you is just is just practice. You have to hear yourself you have to speak hear yourself speak
It is gonna be very awkward because you're going to make a lot of mistakes, you're not going to like the way you speak at the beginning, you're going to hear yourself say that sounds horrible. I don't want to say that again, good. Don't say it again, say it differently next time. So if you don't, but if you don't do it, you can't, you can never identify that you didn't like the way you said something or what you were saying. Even if you're doing about two or three, I guarantee you the moment you say I'm going to give a hot bath, you'll get nervous, and you'll start to make mistakes. Even though if you were saying the things you're gonna say, naturally, you'd be fine. Again, what
we're trying to do here, and I'm trying to take you when I'm sitting with you any one on one chatting, I want to take that and put it here, I want to take you when you're doing that just talking naturally explaining expressing come and do it here. But that transition is a little bit different difficult, because you're sitting there, the hormone levels and all the other blood sugar levels and everything else, and your blood pressure. And that's all one way when you're standing here that all changes. So it takes time to kind of make that transition. Some of you will have an issue with expressing emotions, I have to kind of peel all the filters that life has stuck on you.
So you can actually express yourself and some of you are over expressing. You can express too much and you have to kind of bring it down a little bit Habibi, because that's too much people won't like that. So you have to figure out that perfect balance. So my advice would be just practice, just practice giving talks, actually with this. With this lockdown, do it at home for Joomla. Do it yourself, put your family together, given them a whole bit Joma. Next week, sit down and have your son give it to be honest, you can have 91 of the ladies in the house, do it in the house. It doesn't matter. These regulations and rulings are much more flexible when it comes to doing it at home. Have
your daughter do it. Now one of the Shabaab Jonnie pray, Imam, the drama, but let them give it it's fine. Use us maybe use this difficult time to do that. Instead of Jeremiah, you could attend online but really do it in your house with your family, give it yourself even at a father. If you can do a good job of Joma as a father to your kids, then you're fine. You don't need me. If you can get your kids to listen to you. I can't get my kids listen to me. I cannot I can't get I will not listen now. So it was not impossible, impossible that you'll sit down and listen to me ever. It's just only perfect. So try that and I think you'll find that to be beneficial on many other
ultimate tools that you've taught does it apply when teaching on Zoom or pretty much anything in this all applies again, I kind of pointed out to you the things that don't apply theater stand up comedy, any performances that are theatrical or musical or something like that? No, they have different rules apply and you can look into these rules are interesting, but everything else have similar laws. And what I'm telling you here are very generic stuff I'm just giving a very general thoughts to think things just just topics or concepts to think about that apply everywhere but they apply with certain
disclaimers or certain regulations you have to be the context is important. You have to really know and we'll talk about that in a bit more. The next time I give this the we'll kind of dive into that a little bit more. Okay, so I gotta be hungry and it's tougher to break or Salah has a little bit of kind of you know, Muhammad had earlier so he's man he's talking about a couple of people multitasking