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Your Mother Your Mother Your Mother

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Abu Eesa Niamatullah

Channel: Abu Eesa Niamatullah

Episode Notes

A person came to Messenger of Allah (pbuh) and asked, “O Messenger of Allah! Who is most deserving of my fine treatment?” He (pbuh) said, “Your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father, then your nearest, then nearest”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Listen to shaykh Abu Eesa explaining this hadith in this reminder

Episode Transcript

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If you look at this Hadees. And there's a narration that will come up later that will repeat this. And there's actually many other narrations similar to this Hadith, we find that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam has emphasized the rights of the mother, more so than the Father, and more so than anyone else. Because we know that the family comes first in our relations with with, with with with society. And here the mother has been emphasized, and then the Father, and then the family people. And then we know that the rest of the people will follow after that, as we'll come to later on in the book. And it's actually agema amongst the scholars of Islam, that the mother takes

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priority of being of one being

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respected and her rights being fulfilled, ie to be good to her and to be kind to her takes priority upon the father, there's a huge amount upon that, despite the fact that the scholars in the books have also say that the Father has more right to be obeyed, his right individually is greater, his decision is greater, his only command to you

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is greater, you have a greater obligation to obey Him, other than your mother, yet the mother has a greater right to be shown son and bear and IE to be beautiful to her to help her to have kindness to her. And actually this is very clear from not just a Hadith, especially here, three times the prophets lie Selim mentioning again and again and in other nations more than three times that the mother was more deserving of the bear of the of the son or the child. But it is clear in the Quran, when Allah, Allah says was saying that insanity Why did they hear Hamlet who only one and Allah one answer to look, man, when Allah says, and we have enjoined upon man to be good to his parents, he

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mentions parents and Wiley, they hear Santa. And then what does he say after mentioning the parents, he's a Hamlet who Omo, his mother bore him in weakness and hardship. So after the parents, it is the mother who has been singled out as the one who has been, who has taken the hardship and gone through all the stress and the hustle that we know that gives her this, this macom. And actually, we shouldn't be surprised by that. Because the link between the mother and the child, you know, everyone knows about that no one needs to be taught about the the link of Rama and love that is specifically unique between the child and the mother, a link of mercy, I think of Rama and that

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itself is beautiful because Allah subhanaw taala we know has told us to ask him to ask him to have mercy upon the parents and that's why the mother's womb, that place which we gain our which we get our shelter and protection at the time when we're most desperate and the need for it is called the RAM. It is called the ram it's from the same root word as Rama. So you can see the link that the ram itself is where the child develops during pregnancy. And then when it comes out, it is the continual link of the progress of the law the the continued link of the mother to the child to Rama and in intense form of Rama and that's why I was parser Allah says workato buka Allah Buddha in the year

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will be valid any Santa in my ob rohana en de Cali indical que para de Houma Oklahoma for La Paloma often Wollaton Houma, hula, hula cola and Karima waffleh. Houma Gina has dual Amina Rama wakol Rob Durham, Houma, Kamara, biani Sahara is beautiful, the specific words that Allah subhanaw taala chooses in this ayah and your Lord has decreed that you worship none but him and actually be dutiful to your parents. And if one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them, but address them in terms of honor, and lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy and say, My Lord, bestow on them your mercy as they

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did bring me up when I was young. And this journey is almost a return of the of the drama that you have taken from her that you have been cultured in her great role of giving you tarbiyah Yeah, that's that that has almost natural to her. It's almost like the mother is a walking full of Rama base and centralized around the womb itself. You're

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Home, what produced you what looked after you what protected you what what led you. So when we understand this link and then we understand that how important it is for us to appreciate bill in its correct way and how to give the parents the the right that they deserve. And we can also see that this, this order in the headaches By the way, where the previous lesson I mentioned the, the the mother's right three times and then compares it to the to the Father. On the fourth occasion. It's a three to one ratio. And we see that in the Quran. Allah Subhana Allah says, will say that insanity right today he Santa's Hamlet who own mucho korhan over the art who korhan Warhammer

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Warhammer who have his son who's the rasuna, Shara IE and we have enjoined on man to be beautiful and kind to his parents, his mother bears him with hardship. And she brings him forth with hardship. And the bearing of him and the winning is in 30 months. And so we can see that the profits of life and limb in this Hades by showing that Jani the mother, and her right is given a three to one ratio to the Father is almost as if he is specifying these three stages, which the mother specifically

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is particular almost is particular to her only this quality, this ability to do that naturally as the mother, she will get a reward. And she gets a right equal to that the Father cannot do anything in these three stages, he has no role in that. And so the mother cleans up in these areas. If you look at these, these actions, the first action of of pregnancy. And you know, I mean I if you're not married, and you've not been able to observe this, and it's very difficult, but if you see the sickness, and the tightness and the difficulty that a woman goes through when she's pregnant with her child, and not just the difficulty, but the things that she has to give up so many things that

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she enjoys, that she has to give up. And her free time has to be now sacrificed. And she can't go to places that she'd like to and she has to go through much difficulty. And then the actual, the giving of birth. I mean Subhanallah I mean, let me tell you something no woman can ever understand and appreciate the pain of birth unless she gives birth herself and then she understands automatically and no man, okay, can describe that unless he sees it. Okay, if you haven't seen your wife give birth, then you know, you just don't want to let me tell you something. It's something which is absolutely incredible. And something totally edgy. I still have, I still have a jacket. Okay, when

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my wife gave birth to a son, my eldest son, she grabbed my jacket so hard. And she is her fingernails dug into the material and she's ripped my my jacket. And Swan is still there. I mean, it's a

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good jacket wasted. And, you know, honestly, it's an hour. And I remember because, you know, she was on the gas, and she's screaming her head off. And, you know, she's got me like, she's got the wire right there. I don't know. But she had me with the hands. And she was like this, and I was being pulled in like this, and what am I doing here? And she's, you know, she was not with me at all, she was on another planet altogether.

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You cannot imagine that moment and that pain, you can't. And Allah subhanaw taala recognizes it. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam recognizes it. And then you move on to the next stage, the stage of the weaning, and the culturing and the bringing up of the child that breastfeeding and the difficulties in that, again, the restriction of lifestyle, that the the, you know, the the difficulties that one has to go, you know, the,

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I don't know if you can, you can understand people will tell you have you seen it, the tightness of the mother, the sleepless nights, how early she wakes up and so on. And what often but suppose what makes it even worse is that often the husband is going to be sleeping right next to her, and in a different logo together, doesn't know what is going on absolutely innocent. It just doesn't care. What hasn't fought in the world for what's happening next, right next door, and the mother is going to be so much stress and hassle and pain. And so here, these are three things which are specific to the mother. And that's why the progress of life and limb has mentioned her three times and then we

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start to reach parity now. Or do we? Because then the father now starts to take his position of tarbiyah but it's not like as if suddenly he takes over army fathers. Do you know what that was that they didn't see that as Allah says 30 months Allah mentions in the Quran 30 months is equal to two years of winning and a minimum pregnancy of six months. Okay, that's very important because obviously, nine months is the normal pregnancy time. But the Quran is a miracle itself, by the way in the Quran, that shows that it's possible. The Quranic worldview understands that a six month pregnancy is a viable pregnancy and a viable child is produced and this this idea has very important

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ramifications in

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The rulings of Xena, okay, and the rulings have given Kava, of judging against cases where people come, you know, to give you a very brief example, if a couple get married, and six months after the date of marriage, there's a child. So automatically you're thinking stuff a lot has happened here. Right, six months, I mean, the nine months right? And Ollie rhodiola on, if I remember correctly, was gave Kava, and he ruled in favor, and obviously this happened and the father said you you've done Zina. All right. And then you married me, you know, how can I have had a child within six months, at least nine months or 10 months or something else straightaway. But the idea behind gave

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cada, at that time, don't don't think about our scientific advancements now where we can work out dates and blah, blah, no, that was at that time.

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Earlier, the lion said, Allah, Allah says that weaning is 60 is 30 months for tuna shahara. Which means we know that from the other freestyle, who I mean, and the other is that we mentioned last session that the winning is in two years, but this one's which is 24 months, but here it's 30 months, which means that six months must be the pregnancy itself. And so therefore, if Allah says that a pregnancy of a child can be six months there, and then and then two years afterwards, 24 months afterwards, therefore it means that the sixth child is viable, and this child actually is yours. And so he ruled against the husband, and they, they were, they're happy with that. So that,

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you know, this shows that some of the ayat can be used in such very deep sense by the scholars have felt when they were making color, and, and judgment. But as I said, these three things, these three qualities and characteristics, they are specific to the mother, but then the Father, the father doesn't suddenly come and take over and do everything, the mother herself then plays an equal role in spending upon the child and feeding the child and closing the child, you know, throughout the rest of the years. In fact, most of them are not, the mother does much more than the Father, the mother does much more than the father, even at this stage. And as we said before, the role of

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tarbiyah the key role of parents, okay to make this child cultured, and bring them up in a way to get the golden objective achieved, which is that the Ruby of Allah subhanaw taala is understood and achieved and affirmed by the child, the mother is the one who is responsible for that the mother is not they say just that she behind every great man is a great woman, we're behind every great nation is a woman because the woman is, is absolutely key, the mother is key in developing these characteristics. And these emotions, and the behavior of a child that has he or herself will not only recognize Allah subhanaw taala in the in the greatest of purity, but then be able to interact

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with the rest of society to make it a real community, a real nation. And that's the macom of the mother.

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There LMR also mentioned and again, even hedger, Raja lon, he proceeds everyone in that in mentioning some of the the other reasons why the mother is more emphasized almost or why the prophets lie Selim exaggerated more, and the Huck are in the right of the mother over the the Father. One of these reasons is that, you know, you know the mother, right, your relationship with her, your closest to her is always behind, you know, behind behind closed doors, it's in the house, it's out of the way of the people, people do not see your day to day interaction with your mother, but with your father is very, very different. Your father by by nature, and by his by his going to

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the masjid than going to work and so on is very much outside the house, but the mother is always inside the house. And this itself, yeah, I need as you as you will know, means that you can get away with a lot more against your mother then you can you can have your father and so often because of that her rights, okay, demand, the children almost get a greater audacity almost, to, to, you know, try and pull off, acts against the mother of disobedience and being rude and so and so on, that they will not be able to do against their father, not just because the father is stronger, but just basically because he's in front of the people. You know, you you know, that is a very silly thing to

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try and do something with your father and then go and meet your friend who do your best he publicly he will really embarrass you in front of someone. I mean, forget about the whole idea of being a sin, but he can come and he meets an uncle and you're there and then you uncle would say you know he's he's a good lad your son and then here are you really he does this and he says that he does this says that I didn't tell him I didn't tell the shopkeeper and then you're telling and you think Oh my God, why did I come out with you in the first place just to be just stated insulated, insulated. And that's the nature isn't it? It's the nature of the of the of the bad to do that. And

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also we know that the mother herself by her nature, she's a lot more softer, a lot more weaker as well, and that makes them more vulnerable. And unfortunately it makes her almost more vulnerable to contempt on our on our

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behalf on our side. And when someone has that contempt, they find it easier to establish authority. And to be more forceful with someone like that. And that's another problem. And again, so therefore, the professor SLM, who is almost trying to recognize that, that that inequality in a relationship, and then trying to defend that principle, trying to defend the principle that the mother is already disadvantaged compared to the Father. And so we need to now make it up to make it emphasize her right even more.

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Not only do we see this weakness, not only do we see this weakness and recognize it, but also its effect upon us, makes us worse, how we know that the mothers we all do, because our biggest problem, if you ever want to see a major source of the lack of blessings, and problems, you know, amongst our community amongst the Muslims, it is because we mistreat our mothers, okay? And we do so easily. And, you know, they don't help us, they really don't help us in this in this in this action, because their nature is because of their weak nature, because they're so soft, they get angry very, very quickly, because their love for their children is more than, you know, the normal love that can be

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seen, it's very intense. And they get very, very upset, very upset, and little things that you do. They're very, very close to you. And sometimes, you know, we cannot appreciate that. And what happens often is that they cry a lot. And we know that mothers cry a lot, that's by and her nature, and we know that they get very angry, and we know and how many times have we had to do it against us, day and night, making the odds against us, and they never mean to but they go oh, I am saying this and saying that whatever, because of her nature, and then that cause the child to become angry, you know, and often without any good reason, you do something and suddenly she would just go off and

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you think subprime loans, what have I done what's happening. And so then that causes a greater sense of contempt almost and a greater sense of anger in the child, and they tried to then push that off, and then you know, it's almost becomes a vicious circle gets worse and worse. And we're all guilty of that everyone. And so here the professor lies and has recognized this anomaly, recognize the nature of the woman, and therefore emphasized if it wasn't already enough, in the Quran, by by Allah subhanaw taala saying, after worship Him be good to the parents, not only making it from the absolute individual obligations, not only as we come to see making disobedience to them from the

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Cabal, or from the deadly and the major sense, okay. But then, in our own understand the purpose of life, in a more subtle way, is saying she has more right to be treated good, she has more right that you'd be beautiful to her, she has more right for you to have more patience with her. And it's important that we understand these weaknesses and these and these these problems, because if we do, then we now know not to fall into the trap, we now know that, okay, this is how she is but she can't help some of these things, we should recognize that. And you know, the professor doesn't recognize that. So why can't we recognize that. So then once you understand these kind of characteristics, and

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you appreciate that more, and then we can hopefully be able to make the he can achieve our goal of giving her more

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more more better, more love and more concern and more kindness and so on. And Emma calm Of course, then, you know, you might say, you know, really is her macom her status really deserving of such a such a such a high pressure upon us to maintain. And of course, there's no doubt about that, Daniel one little bit, right? We have very famous narration from Eben remember the narrator of the previous narration, when he was sitting in the harem, and a man came making two off, okay with his mother on his back, okay, and he came to me, and he said, you know, have I fulfilled my rights to my mother. And I said law, well as afra you have not even done as a front row as Africa is, as the front is.

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And in this narration, it's the sound it's like a moan it's the intake of breath, okay, during labor, okay, so you're making to off hasn't even reached the level of one of them sounds that your mother went through while she was giving birth to you.

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I mean, even as you think about that, this is a you know, a beautiful graphic illustration of the rights of the mother upon us so that we can appreciate how much we need to give her better and how much that we are deficient in giving her I mean today upon look at our, our society, look at our people, we take our shopping, we think that we've saved the world. We take her to the corner shopper we think we've done the whole world a favor. And you know, there's we're talking about hedge and to off right? Yeah, people think right I'm gonna take my parents to hedge as I've done some huge journey, big action. And then you know, my mother's old son going to take her in a wheelchair. And

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you know, people they the people they say that right and they probably say because don't realize what they're doing what they're saying. I I took my mother around the I did

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Hajj or Umrah with my mother in a wheelchair, right. And they probably paid someone else to do the weaving as well. Right? And they make it I like to be a big thing. And they should read this narration I mean did listen, try carrying her on your back, make the toe off, and then realize that you haven't even repaid back end. That's one little sound that your mother actually experienced and she she made when she was going through the pains of giving birth to you. So somehow her macom is something which really is very difficult for us to understand. And that's why the purpose of licensing and authentic narration said that you're gonna be at her feet for thermal agenda for

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Paradise is at her feet, you'll find paradise there. It's there. If you want to get to Jenna, you will find it at the feet of your mother, you will find it in in her service, you'll find Paradise by obeying her and keeping her happy. Why? Because only the one who is able to make absolute perfect hip, okay, absolutely perfectly achieve keeping her mother happy. That kind of person will be a person of Paradise, that kind of person that kind of quality will be a person of Paradise and that's all the you know that we have time for insha Allah in this session, and hopefully we'll complete the headings in the next what is that Kamala Harris with Hannah Coloma behenic, a shadow Allah, Allah

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Allah and West Africa Lama