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Your Parents – Doors Of Mercy

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Bilal Assad

Channel: Bilal Assad

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Smilla Rahmanir Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Nabina Muhammad in while early he was so happy here as your man and woman sir I learned energy healer your Mundine

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I bet Allah it Takala haka. Takata he wala Motrin. 11 two Muslim one. Yeah, you handle it in an otaku Allah wa Kulu Coblenz sadita Your Starla come on man hola como Fetullah comas don't Oba ko mama UTI la hora Sula who forgot the frozen Halima. I'm about to find now Stoeckel Hadith Kitab Allah wa cradle howdy howdy Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam are shahrul Ohmori Matata to have a Kula Matata Tempe headed in Ibadan Wakulla without Dini dolla, what could Lord Allah Allah to infinity? I'm about my brothers and sisters in Islam today in the short hotbar I'm going to talk about brief points about the relationship between parents and children. What are the duties towards

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the parents? What are they towards the children? And how important is that relationship you're getting with his statement SubhanaHu wa Allah in the Quran is totally Israa as we all know, what Allah says we're called Rob Buka Allah Tabu Allah, your Lord has commanded that you worship none other but him. And then Allah says and to be dutiful and good to your parents. Allah subhanaw taala wants us to know and have a hint and a little bit of a feeling of what it means to have your identity connected to your origin. You were born from your parents, and we came from ALLAH SubhanA wa ala. Look at the mercy and the compassion that Allah has created between parents and children.

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Can you imagine then the mercy and compassion between the servant and his Lord Allah subhanho wa taala. Similar to how we show goodness and obedience to our parents, Allah wants us to show obedience to Him. However, Allah is all powerful, he never leaves us or gets old or dies. But our parents do. For this reason Allah tells us in the Quran, no matter how old they get, if you have the opportunity to live long enough to be with one or both of them, lower your wing of humility, and always be good to them. Avoid even hurting them with the word or my brothers and sisters in Islam. We all know the duties of the parents very well. And a lot of us here can quote the Hadith and abet

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without me even saying them. There is a lot of focus in the Quran and the Sunnah, about how important these two doors to paradise are our mother and our father. In fact, Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam said, whoever would like their life to be extended in good health and provision, be dutiful towards your parents, is tells us that a healthy relationship with our family gives you a better and healthy well being and mental state. Because when a person connects themselves to their identity, they feel whole Subhanallah when a child feels that one or both of their parents are bad or evil, for example, they actually start to think that they themselves are made up from evil. And that is

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one of the reasons why experts tell us that they start to act out and go and do things that are inappropriate in society, because they believe that they were made up of to bad origin. So my brothers and sisters, the first thing I want to talk about is the parents duty towards the children and then the children's duty towards their parents. We know that there are parents that are amazing to their children, and they try their best to fulfill their responsibility. But at the same time, in rare cases, there are also abusive parents, there are parents who neglect their duty towards their children. For Allah subhanho wa Taala did say beware of zoom, beware of oppression. And our

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children, we will be questioned about them on the Day of Judgment brothers and sisters. Sometimes the children are abusive and disrespectful to their parents. And we say the same thing that Allah subhanaw taala tells us beware of volume for one single dua from a parent who has been oppressed by their child is enough for Allah subhanho wa Taala Brit to bring down wrath upon those children, where there is no veil between the dua of a person who is oppressed, and between Allah, and most importantly, between family members, my brothers and sisters in Islam. Among the first things I would like to emphasize about parents towards their children is role modeling, and role modeling

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between spouses. The first thing that children see is how their mother and father treat each other and talk to each other. This is what they remember when they get married. This is what they remember when they go into their jobs and grow up. This is what they remember in their relationships, how it was mum and dad towards each other. And this is exactly how they will copy so

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This is number one. Number two parents learn to communicate effectively with your children. We complain that they don't obey us, they never failed to imitate us. At the same time, we need to communicate effectively insha Allah find different strategies of how to talk to them. Sometimes with teenagers talking to them straight into their eyes, in their bedroom or at home, looking at them straight in the eyes won't work, take a walk with them and share Allah father or mother and talk while you're both looking out into the open, walking together and releasing some energy as you talk. These things do work. My brothers and sisters

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do not have huge steady expectations. It's sometimes parents want to helicopter their kids to tell them you must come out of school to do this particular career or to have this particular course, sometimes we need to let our children make their choices, but we help them and guide them. And we need to let go a little bit my brothers and sisters, the best type of Korea or the best type of life that a person can live is the one that they have chosen and made taking the responsibility on. So guide them, but explain to them the good and the bad, and the consequences and the rewards. My brothers and sisters take responsibility for your mistakes. Our children see us making mistakes,

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especially when we make promises that we do not fulfill. For example, one of the best ways to get out of it is to talk to our children and tell them Mom, Dad, we have son, daughter, we have made a mistake. But this does not give us or you an excuse to copy it and continue with that mistakes. humans make mistakes, but the best of humans are the ones who admit it and fix it. So admit to your children. My brothers and sisters we said fulfill your promises. Especially when you say Insha Allah, children tend to think of the word Insha Allah, as using Allah's Name, therefore it's powerful. Let us not abuse that word. When we say Insha Allah, it is a promise, but we must explain

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to them that if something does turn out, and we, you know, stops us from doing it explained that and admitted to them so that they don't think that Islam is used in vain, and they will also use it in vain. My brothers and sisters teach them the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam, the child on a day of judgment will shine and wear a crown that everybody will look at when you have taught them the Quran. And when we say teach the Quran, it's not just memorization and reading, yes, that's the pathway. But to try your best to live it out and try to understand what they are actually reading. If you cannot do it yourself, hire someone to do it, take them to a

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Muslim to a teacher, or put them in a Muslim school. However, one very important point Do not ever expect that Muslim teacher, the chef or the school to change your child, your child's initial upbringing is at home. I know I'm repeating things that most parents already know. But validating it and mentioning it again, emphasizes that and reminds us my brothers and sisters, some parents say I've got them in a Muslim school. I've got them with a teacher teaching them. And I think that this is enough, but they are not present with them, communicating with them, being with them and talking to them being there for them when they need it. One very important thing to avoid as a parent is to

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teach our children through venting, we vent out or yell or shout out of emotions out of frustration, it is our responsibility to monitor that as much as we can. If we can't do it, we cannot expect it from our children. My dear brothers and sisters slowly allow them to function independently. Let them make decisions bit by bit, so long as it's safe. As they get older, your armor comes off my dear brother and sister and those teenagers start to become more difficult in learning and listening to you. So approach them and make them feel that they are intelligent, they are responsible, they are older speak to them at their age or even older than their age or the Prophet sallallahu wasallam

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said, refer to anything that you put kindness and carry into it makes it decorated and Allah who loves a risk, he loves kindness and care in all matters. Wherever there is a risk taken out, then it is only something that becomes ugly. Hold your children accountable. And don't expect that you have to make them happy all the time. If your child doesn't get angry once in a while at your choices, your decisions, then know that there is something wrong in your duty. You don't have make your children happy but Wallahi they will appreciate it later on as you know, they will say they took responsibility. Number one they know let them know exactly why you have made a consequences or

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accountability for them say it's because of this son or daughter. Number two, don't base it as we said on venting and emotions. Let some things pass. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam told Anicet nomadic go and do a particular duty for me. On his way. He saw some children playing and he forgot about the duty to prophesize I'm told him about Priscilla Selim went looking for him when he found him watching the children playing he was only about 11 years old and us the Prophet SAW Selim. He said what happened to the Judea and as well he was laughing about it. And this looked and he saw that

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As I'm smiling a huge smile on his face as the prompts are sent him is not blaming that child for having a nice time. But he is very patient with him. He reminded him with a smile so remind your children of their duty sometimes with a smile and with ease Insha Allah, my dear brothers and sisters, lastly, I ask Allah subhana wa ala to assist us and help and help us in fulfilling our duty towards our children and towards those whom we love, whom Allah subhanaw taala told us to look after I ask Allah Subhana Allah to grant us understanding Akoto COVID Heather was the for Allah honey welcome Vista Hello via Fosun Mr. Feeding

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Alhamdulillah he Allah Cerny or chakra Allahu Allah tow vehicle he wanted Ernie was salat wa salam ala Milena the human body he was early, he was so happy he urged me and my brothers and sisters, as much as we have spoken about the parents role towards the children, and that we hold the responsibility of what we teach our children or what we neglect them in. At the same time, Allah Subhana Allah forgives shortcomings and mistakes. So here I want to give now an advice to our dear young boys and girls, when no matter how old we are, our duty towards our parents never ends, no matter how old we get whether we are small or older teenagers or adults, number one, especially to

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the teenagers, those who are still young, my dear brothers and sisters, no matter how hard it may seem, find a way to communicate with your parents. Find a way there is always a way when you understand your mother and father, what ticks them off? Or what doesn't. There's not always one way, think about how would they receive it, put yourselves in their shoes, and try to see you How would my father Listen to me? How would my mother Listen to me. And don't expect that what you say that they have to obey you or acknowledge that everything you said is right, they may tell you what is right or wrong. But the idea is to have a healthy relationship to be able to give and take and share

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a load Diala. And to be heard, choose calm times, for example, or make something a cup of tea or whatever they like and sit down in times when they're not stressed to talk about what you need to talk about. Number two, you need to gain your parents trust a lot of kids, they say well, they put a curfew on me, they call me when I'm out with my friends. Why do they do that like helicopter parents, we say to you, your parents want to feel and know and be certain that you are safe and can take responsibility when you go out. So when you prove to them and show that you are capable of taking responsibility, they can let go a little bit by little bit because that's all they want. So

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my advice to you is, if they tell you you have to be back home, if they allow you to go and you have to be back home by a certain time you do that exactly. And contact them without them asking you tell them who your friends are. Tell them where you have gone on when and who you are and who you are hanging around with. And do not be embarrassed what your friends say, you are going to be earning that trust and you will buy your independence slowly while you can show your parents that you are capable of looking after yourself without being in danger or going in the wrong way. Number three, share with them your good. Share with them where you go and come. Number four, stick to your

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agreements and your rules with your parents.

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That way, they will know that you are growing and becoming more mature. Number four, take initiatives of good things without being told your mom and dad don't always have to tell you exactly what you have to do. You do them yourself and show them that you take your own initiatives and you know your duties and you know what is good and what is not by yourself. Number five or number six, don't offer help or ask. Just do it. Don't say do you want this? Or what should I do? Just do it unless you need to know or be guided by your parents. My brothers and sisters, always remember this, that Allah subhanho wa Taala will judge us upon our responsibilities for the prophets of Allah.

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Allah said good luck, Amara and what could Loomis Alternaria they were all like shepherds and every shepherd is responsible for their flock the father and mother shepherds that children are shepherds. We are shepherds everyone is a ship at the teacher is a shepherd the leader is a shepherd we all have some responsibility. May Allah Subhana Allah grant us understanding solidify the relationship between us and our family. And I finish it there are two things that make us happy in life. They are not materialism, they are not our desires. But number one, connecting yourself with Allah your Creator. And number two, connecting your family ties do not break them or you will be broken connect

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them and you will be connected in sha Allah.

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Allahu Morakniv. My attempt Anna was underling with Tokina EMA Allahumma fildena Allahumma Hamnet Allahu Allah to Ballina Allah Medina. I asked Allah Samantha to forgive us to have mercy upon us to guide us to that which is best and to bring a man into our hearts with sincerity. I ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to not hold us accountable for our shortcomings. And I ask Allah Subhana Allah to solidify our relationships in this world and let us meet together as family in the hereafter in paradise but Anita I've had a lot in the lie I'm gonna be lonely so anyway even thought about when honey and fascia it went pretty well buddy. Welcome Lila come to the karoun or Sallalahu

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I mean a Muhammad Ali he also to be as your mind what I'm going to Salah