Channel: Abu Abdissalam
Episode 10/26: Tale Carrying
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backbiting narrated Abu huraira Allah's Apostle, may his peace and blessings be upon him said, Do you know what his backbiting? The the companion said, Allah and His apostle, know best, there upon he the Prophet melas peace and blessings be upon him said.
backbiting implies you're talking about your brother in a manner which he does not like. It was said to him. What is your opinion about this, that if I actually find that fault in my brother, which I made a mention of
he melas peace and blessings be upon him said, if that fault is actually found in him what you assert, you are in fact backbiting him. And if that is not in him, it is slander.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. And welcome to another episode of purification of the soul.
We were talking about just getting a force and we said that dead skier or purification of the soul, the word test gear in Arabic to mean purification has two connotations. It means Can I take it from you guys? What does that mean? That means to purify and cleanse one soul of bad things. That's the first meaning to purify or clean cleanse one soul from bad characteristics or qualities. What's the second meaning of deskah after the cleansing than to increase the soul in good characteristics exactly to increase the soul after that with good characteristics? lottery let's have some examples of some of the bad characteristics what we've already mentioned so far, and liking the Mima and what
we've mentioned already, what we've mentioned already
backbiting backbiting, anger, anger and things like that exactly.
Another rampant disease is what is known in Arabic as Nyima or tail carrying. Who can tell me what is tail carrying looks like they're carrying it's about when two people is talking badly about other person. Yeah, and after, after that happened five between the 2.2% nearly there not quite exactly. Who else can expand as
fast as they can be speaking regarding something and they think that they speak in confidence. Whereas the other person, he might go to the other person who they were talking about who they're referring to? And he will say what, what they said that may cause some friction between them nearly nearly what actually is now Mima is that is to transmit the statements of some people to others intending to cause friction and enmity between them. And so therefore, the Allahu Turan who reported that the Prophet slicin um, said, the one who tell Karis will not enter Paradise, so it's a very serious sin. It's from among the major sins in Islam. So if somebody says about another Muslim, that
he's fat, short, or anything else that he would not like, and the person who heard that told that person told that Muslim so and so said about you that you're fat or you're short, then this would constitute backbiting as well as tail caring, because in the original sense, in the initial compensation, they were backbiting and then the person who was tell caring, he transmits that statement, from the one who's backbiting to the one who's been back a bit and of course, backbiting in the first place is how long? And what is the definition of backbiting Grace? abetting is to speak about someone, a brother, a brother or a sister
about them something that they don't like, exactly, to mention someone in a light that they don't like, and does it have to be active and he's saying something or can it be by a shadow or action? Can you both? It can be both Exactly.
So any backbiting constitutes anything that is mentioned about a person that he doesn't like and we've spoken about that in the last few episodes. But tell carrying on the other hand means to transmit, to transmit those statements and take it to the pert take it to another person. And this is because tell caring can have an enormous effect in society. It can cause a rift and enmity between brothers. Yes, it is incorrect in the first place for the first person to backbite however, the one should not go and inform the one who's been back button. Instead, he should advise the one who is backbiting, to abstain from what he is doing. Otherwise, instead of ending the backbiting he
would cause further backbiting because the person who originally was back bitten, he might start to aback by it the first person and you can see an endless kind of loop here. And then there will be bad feeling between the brothers and this is why it is not a lot of time who the cousin of the Prophet slicer man indeed the son in law of the prophets lie, Selim is reported to have said that the tail carrier in one hour, creates the mischief of many months and we can see this in a number of stories there was related, for example, by Hamad bin selama, one of the great scholars of the past, he said that a man once sold his slave to another man. But he said to him, that there is no bad
quality in the slave except one thing that he commits Mima that he terrible carries. So the buyer, he didn't think that this was a big thing. And so therefore, he bought the slave anyway. Now the slave remained with the new master for some time. And then he said to his masters wife, your husband no longer loves you. And he actually made this up. He said, Your husband no longer loves you. And he wishes to take another woman. If you want to get this in his love, then you should take a razor and shave the hair from underneath his bed. So then he went to his master, the slave went to his master and told him that his wife had taken another lover, and he wanted to kill him. And to prove this, he
said, pretend to be asleep when she comes at the master did that and his wife came with the razor. And of course in those days, the razors were like knives. And so the master thought that she had come to kill him. He took the razor from her and he immediately killed her and the family of the wife in turn, they took revenge and killed him, then the family of the man came and fighting occurred between the two families. So we can see from this is a very extreme example of when the Mima can really cause huge rift let's take some more in this case.
The slave was lying because I wasn't even in this place. The slave was lying. So it doesn't have to be and that is Mima. But also if a person actually is telling the truth, that so and so said this about you, then even in that scenario that would be an amine. So both constitute Mima. Let's have some more examples on the Mima lottery Mima, it's when a husband and wife Yeah, let's have some real life examples. Yeah. My husband wants to get married to another woman. Then the other woman go tell his wife, and then happened problems between them. Yes, that's one example of nama.
Hello, say, maybe a good close group of friends. Perhaps some of them will talking. They'll say something about one of the friends and he was not present. Or one of the things such go until the backbiting. Yeah. And that was wrong in the first place that was wrong in the first place. But when that statement was transmitted, it just caused massive Rift. So what what happened? Exactly the person who heard it, he went and told, yeah, he went and told the person that they were talking about, and it just caused this rift ended up the group of friends is breaking apart.
So you can see that's quite common unfortunate, because then after that lying standards are, but why why did he back by Why did he carry the tail in the first place? Perhaps I mean, there's many reasons sometimes person could do that. Because he wants to feel like he wants to be closer to the second guy. So he was wrong in the first place by not stopping the backbiting. So then he goes and tells the second guy thinking that the second person will say, you know, this is a true friend of mine. He's telling me what, and this is, this is actually one of the traps of shapen sometimes they relay some of my relay some information that causes friction. He doesn't intend with it any
If that is known that it will cause friction. You have an example.
One example that comes to mind is his two brothers. And you know, they're close brothers, that they had a little issue between themselves, small issue. So there was like a, an invitation by one of them. So invited few brothers and the brother that he was close to that he had some friction with. He couldn't make the dinner.
So he was unable to make the dinner.
So because of a legitimate reason he was busy. He couldn't make it. So one of the brothers he he said to the to the host, that brother
The reason he didn't come is because he doesn't like you.
You know, he doesn't like he doesn't like coming to your house. Which wasn't true. He the person legitimately couldn't make it. So then this stayed in his heart. Yeah. And then what made it worse was that he, the other person didn't had an invitation, the one who couldn't make it. And when he and the person who was the host originally, he then didn't turn up his house, he didn't turn up to the
house. So then the same person says, See, look, the reason he didn't have because you didn't turn up, and it was great fight causes problems, great friction between the two. Yeah, and this is these are live examples of minima, we can see how there's an amoeba in some cases. It's true, the person did back but in some cases is not true. And of course, the latter is his greatest sin, because he's not only doing the minima, but on top of that, he's actually lying. So there's many examples if the person did not think that if the person does not think that Steven will cause any friction, but he's still related, what if it is, if it's he shouldn't relate anything that's bad, anything that
constitutes backbiting you should not relate back to the original person, okay to the person who's been back bitten And likewise, anything that causes friction, that may not have been backbiting okay? Even in that scenario, he should not, he should not relate those statements. So this is why when a person came to I'm not even Abdelaziz the great Khalif of Islam to inform him was somebody had said about another person. He said he said this, he said if you wish, we can verify this matter. And if you have lied, then you are from this I have the Quran. Allah Dena Manu injure a confessor can be number infected by that if a sinner comes to you, then with news then verified and if you
have spoken the truth, then you are from this ayah Waylon licola who mesotheliomas a vote to every backbiting every slander and some scholars said that it means the one who is who does not Mima. So the backbiting one who goes around slandering. Alternatively, if you wish we can pardon you. So the man promptly replied that he would prefer to be pardoned, and he would never reach. Repeat the sin again. So I'm not the law. Omar Rahim Allah Omar Abdullah says he understood that if the person if what he had said was true, then he would be a tail carrier. If what he had said was true, then he would be a tail carrier. You'd be doing the Mima and this lesson, and if he had lied, then he would
have been a fast sec, a corrupt sinner who statements need to be verified as in the ayah. Either animal has an atrocity Rahim Allah. He once said that if someone carries to you the statements of others, the know that he will go to others with your statements. In other words, if someone has this bad quality of town caring, and comes to you, informing you that someone said this about you, then he is likely to do the same with your statements, he will go to another person and he will say that you said such and such about him. And so this is a very important to keep away from such an evil person. After the break, inshallah we'll have a look at some of the things that a person could do,
when a tail carrier comes and says, that sounds have said this about you saramonic.
And people need each other's needs colors, more than they need to drink.
And it's because even regarding what we drink, and
we may not be able to figure it out, which is permissible and which
is not preserved. In the books called the seal of Prophet Muhammad Salah is not preserved in the books, but on the heart, in the hearts of men, in the hearts of people who have devoted their time to seeking
belief and trust.
That none could take place without the knowledge of Allah.
Welcome back. Before the break, we were talking about minima, what is the definition of non minima grows to when you carry it
Else, when somebody gets information passes on to someone else to cause friction between TPS if you relays statements to cause friction between two things, and we mentioned some examples of email, we can see how evil it is the Prophet slicin said that the one who tell carries you will not enter Paradise, you'll not enter Paradise. So why do people still tell carry? I mean, it's such a, I mean, you can look at it, you can look at this from all aspects of life, to be honest, there's so many reasons, for instance, maybe person in the classroom was become maybe the teacher's favorite student, he might tellicherry in order to give a bad impression of other students, how do you do
that? He may just make something up, or have a really bad calling about the person who she
speaks badly about his teacher. And he says, Hey, I'll teach someone so said this about you, that's tell Carrie,
do you have any,
you work life, work life, very common, I think this would affect a lot of people at work. For example, many people want to get
promoted, or be close to the boss or the boss, you know, pay rise, etc. So obviously, when they're working with other colleagues, they want to be doing to raise the rank in front of the employer. So they say, you know, such and such, he says bad things about the company about yourself, etc. You know, don't promote him, mostly.
And at home, we have two brothers, one of them want to be the favorite for his first appearance. Then as a he goes and talks badly about his other brother and tell him that he's doing so and so and so so that they can be the favorite one for him. Yeah, very common in society. So what should a person do when a towel carrier comes to him? and says, so and so said this about you so and so said this about you? Let's have some examples, Grace?
I mean, it's hard because when you hear something that always stays in your mind, we should try and tell the person that you know, I don't want to hear it should advise him or professor something about him carrying
any other ideas. Yeah, he can go and tell the person why they said that and try to discuss what happened. Actually, there are six things that one can do
to when somebody comes to him as a tail carrier, the first thing is he should not believe the tail. You should not believe the tail.
Absolutely, he should not believe it. Why? Because I Lost Planet Allah says in the Quran. Yeah, Eva Latina, Armando, injure a confessor. kombinieren for tourbillion. If a sinner comes to you corrupts and it comes to you with news, then verified. Now the tail carrier, is he a sinner Isn't he isn't.
He's a sinner. The telltale carrier is a sinner. So if the tail carrier comes to you with news, then you must verify the Tocheri is a sinner and in this ayah Allah is prohibiting us from believing the statements of a sinner until they have been verified. So as far as we're concerned, the first thing is we should not believe the tail we should not believe the story. The second thing is, he should prohibit the tail carrier from the sun and you should give him sincere advice, hoping that he stops Allah Subhana Allah says, and command the good and forbid the evil. And this is from naseeha the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said a dino and naseeha the deen the religion of Islam is naziha so it's
very important to give advice to stop the the evil as well that's being carried out in front of you. So for example, the Prophet slicin um, said, Mandela I mean, c'mon current value of a year Whoa, BIA, he failed me Stata fabulous, and he failed me Stata for because he was a man, that whoever among you sees an evil, let him stop it with his hand. And if you cannot do that, then let him stop it with his tongue. And if you cannot do that, let him stop it with his heart. What does it mean when the prophesized him said stop it with your heart into it? Does it mean to dislike it, to hate it, to hate it, to hate it? And now imagine if you're in a place which you hate, what would you do?
You walk out, you leave. And this is a big misconception among people. They sit in the gatherings of backbiting and the Mima and tell caring and all this thing. They say hey, I hate it in the heart. But if you hated it, you'd leave is quite simple. And
then the province license said, well, Daddy can't afford a man to stop it with your heart. In other words, to hate it in your heart is the weakest form of faith, his weakest form of faith and that means that if a person doesn't leave, then perhaps is on a dangerous levels with regards to his image. Let's have a look at some statements which we've collected earlier on about Mima talking about other people when they are
not present, what is good things? or bad things? Probably because they're so bored of their life. And they like they just like to talk about other people in their, in their absence Sani I think people, especially in Egypt, they they they like to speak about people in their absence because any they're so bored of the life you know the the new stuff to speak about.
And it's it's bad it's very sad actually well basically called they don't spend a lot of time worshipping God or Allah and set up this time this parent talking about other people what Allah gave them and didn't give, give others and drink give them that's why they do a lot and Amina, I think it was any person will take care is not to take care of because he must think whether he would like other people to take carry on him or not. Because I have a general philosophy in life that if a person likes that other people treat him well that he should treat other people well, in return, I should say the person who carries that you should always regard other people and regard himself. I
mean, before I mean regards himself, regardless flows first before it looks at other people and starts to make fun of them. Because in the end, it's usually a way to to hide what's someone's real flaws and faults and stuff. So I think he should he should really look at himself first. Before he does, he looks at other people's stuff to talk about them, I think should tell the person to take care is that he should look for himself inside, before telling cares about other people. And he
The first thing he must do that he was he will see the person inside and see the defects inside himself and manage to to manage it or just being better, I'm better than that. Saying carries another very pertinent responses there.
The third matter, the third thing that we should do when a person comes to us.
And before we go on to the third matter, in fact, what are the first two that we just spoke about when somebody comes to you? And says so and so said this about you not to believe it or not to believe it? Yeah. Tell the person to Pharaoh. Exactly. Tell the person who's backbiting. Tell the person who's actually tell Carrie, hey, this is a sin. The prophets lie Selim said that to tell carry will not enter Paradise. You're on dangerous levels now. And also he should walk out because he should change the evil with his heart. In other words, hate it. And if you hate something, you won't be there. If it doesn't work out. Does that mean is partaking in that back? In a sense? Yes.
Yes. In a sense, he is partaking in that and the decision would be upon him the sin will definitely be upon him. Yes, in a sense. The third thing is that he should dislike the one who carries tails, he should hate him, as he is disliked and hated by a las panatela. So we have to dislike and hate those who are lost panatela hates. So anyway, a murderer, for example. And if he hasn't repented, then we have to hate him. Anyone who does a major sin, then we have to hate him. And from neck tail carrying it from the from the major sins, but we hate him according to the level of his sin. And also, there's a bit more explanation to this. And that some people think that if I hate someone,
that's it, that's total hatred. This is not the case. In Islam. In the English language, when we say hate, it means hate. You can't love and hate someone in the same from the same heart. But in Islam, Islam is more just that you can love and hate someone together. So for example, if someone is a murderer, you hate him for his sin of murdering you hate the sin and you hate the person for doing that. But if the person for example, he has a man and maybe he's good with his parents, maybe he prays a lot he may well be a murderer but he does all these other good things. Then you love him to that level according to that so love and hate is not a binary if you like it's not totally love or
total hatred. Now you can have love and hatred in the same heart for that for one person. And shekel Islam. Tamia Rahim Allah He explained this very well. He said, it's like the poor person who happens to be a thief. Okay, he's poor, and he's a thief, but he's not a thief, because he's poor, is stealing some other things which has got nothing to do with his poverty. Okay, so the poor person who happens to be a thief,
the Sharia comes and gives him money for being poor, gives him money for being poor, from the baytril mug. And then at the same time, the Sharia chops off his hand. For for stealing, if all the conditions are there, of course, this would be done in an Islamic State only.
So if that's the case, you can see how we can love a person is a Muslim who is poor. We have to give him
his rights accordingly. And at the same time, we hate the person for the sin of murdering for example. And of course, if in an Islamic State if he was actually murdering, then he would, he would have classes, or whatever the various levels according to the various conditions. And if he was a thief, as we said, his hand would be chopped off. So we have hatred, as well as love for the same person. So even if he's doing something wrong, it doesn't stop him his right from giving us his right, absolutely. And many people don't realize this. So we hate the person who is a tail carrier. But at the same time, if he is a person who for example deserves DACA, then we still give him his
right because he's a person who deserves Zakah. And it's what Allah says, they do. Who Acropolis taqwa be, just be just, and that is closer to piety. So, Justice in Islam, is a balance. So we look at the good qualities of person as well as the bad qualities and we act in accordance to both the fourth matter that wants to do the full thing that he should do, or he shouldn't do, he should not have bad thoughts about or be suspicious of his brother who's absent, and whose speech the tow carrier is claiming to be relying on Lost Planet, Allah says,
keep away from much suspicion for in about Bhavani ism, because some suspicion is sin. Some suspicion is sin. It's Danny Boy, Kathy Donovan, for in about avani ism, keep away from a lot of suspicion, because some suspicion is sin. So this is very important. It's very difficult to do that. Somebody comes to you says, Oh, so and so said this about you. Number one, you can't believe him. But also, we should not suspect and imagine in our examples that we've seen before that if the person who was told so and so said this about you, if he didn't believe it, and he didn't suspect about him, then it would be much better in that scenario. The fifth thing
is that the statements that have been related to him by the tail carriers should not lead him to spy and he should not try to find out if what was said is true or not a Lost Planet. Allah says, well, atta just assume and do not spy so he shouldn't go and hide and put, you know, maybe bugs in the person's room. whatever extent that person goes, Hey, is he really speaking badly about me. And this really comes from taqwa from piety that a person says I fear on las panatela. Okay, somebody told me this, but he's a sinner, and I can't believe him. Okay. And also one can try to rectify between him and the person who he thinks might have said something. The sixth and last thing that a person could
do is that he should not fall into doing what the tail carrier himself did, by spreading the statements to other people, otherwise, you end up committing the sin of namita himself, and he could be liable to the same punishment as the first person who started carrying these tales. So a person comes to another person says so and so said this about you. He should not go and say oh, did you know what someone said about me to somebody else? Because then he himself will also be a person who does not Mima and we know the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, the one who does not mean does not enter Paradise with us, inshallah, we'll end today's episode, and in the next episode, we'll talk
about a very, very evil and dangerous disease called hazard or envy and jealousy. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh