Channel: Abu Abdissalam
Episode 8/26: Backbiting (Part 2/3)
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Malik related to me from Waleed even Abdullah even said that Alamo Talib, even Abdullah ibn hunted and masumi informed him that a man asked the Messenger of Allah, may Allah peace and blessings be upon him. What is backbiting? The Messenger of Allah, may Allah peace and blessings be upon him said, it is to mention about a man what he does not want to hear.
He said, messenger of Allah, even if it's true, the Messenger of Allah, may Allah says peace and blessings be upon him said, If you utter something false, then it is slander.
Assalamu alaikum. And welcome to another episode of purification of the soul.
We were speaking about some of the diseases of the heart and of the soul. We said that in order to purify ourselves, we have to do one of two things. What are they good enough to
clean cleanser, two of the bad things
to increase in the good good things? Yes. So we have to cleanse as all of the bad things and then increase our souls of the good characteristics of the soul. And in the last episode, we were talking about backbiting, what's the definition of backbiting? Baha was saying things about people while they are not with us. That's what some people say, is the definition. What's a more precise definition, saying something which the person would not like to be said about him? Exactly as the Prophet slicin himself, the crook, a haka be my Accra mentioning your brother in a way that he doesn't like? Now there are certain reasons why people backbite What are those reasons it could do
to could be with paper, perhaps he's around with friends, and they all doing it, and he'll feel left out if he doesn't do?
Well, they just do it for chatting, and wasting time.
doing similar thing, that he doesn't like the person. So you mentioned bad things in front of other people so that they don't like him either. So it could be to do with envy, jealousy. I think the root of this is that his his or hers, he man is very weak, because of the control over the tongue is non existent.
So let's look at some of the cures of this disease of backbiting. And in fact, even slander, so we should have a look at some of these cures. First and foremost, we should realize that the one who is backbiting he will actually be incurring the Wrath of Allah subhanaw taala. We should reflect about the verses of the Quran, and the statements of the Prophet size of them, that censure The one who back bites and praise those who restrain their tongues, a Lost Planet, Allah says in the Quran, or do they think that we do not hear their secrets and their private councils? Indeed we do. And our messengers are by them to record that. Likewise, our Lost Planet Allah we should realize is all Hara
all sia. We cannot hide anything from Allah. We can't do or say anything. Without a Lost Planet, Allah knowing. We should know that in all of our gatherings allies also present with his knowledge, seeing and hearing and we should therefore speak at times at all times, in a way that is appropriate to speak in front of Allah Spano. tala, Allah says in the Quran, whatever phrase he utters, and observe is present. Now, imagine the prophets lie Selim was coming to your house. Okay. Imagine that there was an opportunity that the Prophet of Allah sallallahu Sallam was coming to us. What changes would you make in your house, garage,
get get rid of anything that was deemed to be evil
etc, okay, well, I will, I will not change in the house, I will change it myself. So to be much more,
it's a very valuable thing to see. So, what do you think? Really just following on from both of them, actually, I would say that our trucks remove any, any of the dirt present in my house, whether they that includes myself, my soul,
and what is present in the house. So therefore, I would have to change my characteristics, as well as changing the manner of my house. So imagine the province of someone's in gathering, how would you speak?
We wouldn't speak to your respect, but you'd make sure your your manners are good. You wouldn't do any backbiting or swearing or if someone actually greater than the prophet SAW Salem? Who's, who can hear, who can see and who can.
Who knows about everything that we say, in all gatherings. Allah subhanaw taala. So imagine if that's how we would behave in front of the prophets, I seldom and we should know that Allah pantalla sees us all the time, that he hears us all the time. He knows us what we're saying all the time. So therefore, this is one of the key factors that will stop a person from doing any harm, including this action of backbiting. The prophets why Selim said, Men can mean rubella he will Yamanaka failure called hiren. Olia Smith, and he said, it is in Bukhari and Muslim. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, then let him speak good or remain silent. So we should refrain from speaking
anything unless it is good.
The prophet SAW Selim guaranteed someone paradise if he saved himself from two things, if he could God two parts of his body, what are those, his tongue is exactly his tongue, and his private parts. So the prophet SAW Selim said, Whoever God's that which is between his jaws, and that which is between his two legs, as in the tongue in the private parts, then I will guarantee him entrance to paradise. Imagine that. Imagine that a person if he guarantees his tongue and his paradise and his private parts, and act correctly, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam will guarantee him paradise. So it's very dangerous to take what we say, with our tongues lightly. It's very easy to
flap our tongues, but the consequences of that can be detrimental. This is why the prophets I sent him said that when the son of Adam gets up in the morning, each of his limbs implore his tongue saying, Fear Allah regarding us, because we follow you, if you do right, we will also do right. But if you do wrong, then we will also do wrong. How is this the case? How is it that depending on what the tongue says, the limbs follow? Good rough, I guess.
You know, what the tongue says, affects the rest of the body. Because you may say something to somebody. And, you know, as a result, he may react in a bad way. And then the rest of the limbs have to react accordingly. Also, but what about what why should the tongue? Why did the promises and what's the meaning of this? Hadeeth? Why did the promises him say that all the limbs they ask about the tongue? Because if the tongue, the tongue was the thing that will get examined into the fire, to hell, and then obviously the rest of the limbs would have to suffer? Exactly, absolutely. So the tongue is the thing that often gets people into the Hellfire men love protectors from that Sami. And
because of that all of the limbs have to suffer. And this is one reason. In fact, if we were in gatherings in which Muslims are being back within, we should remember the statement of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam that whoever stops that which dishonored his brother, then Allah will shield his face against the fire on the Day of Judgment. Who of us does not need this? Allah will shield his fight his face against the fire on the Day of Judgment, who doesn't need our faces to be shield, shielded from the Hellfire in the depth judgment? We all need that. So why is it that we don't rush to defend the honor of our fellow Muslims, when people are attacking them? The second way of
stopping ourselves from backbiting is that we should realize that Allah will never forgive the person who back bites, until the one who he backed with who he had back written, also forgives him. It's actually a condition for a last one, to accept the repentance of his servants, that if they transgress against another slave of Allah, then that person has to forgive him before a Lost Planet Allah forgives him
if you know that if you tell the person that you back with him, if that causes more problems between you Okay, so there's a way around this. There's a way around this person he back bit, another person and then he wants to repent for that. He knows that oh, this person has to forgive me. Okay, could do one of two things. He can either go up to the person say, Hey, I spoke badly of you. Please forgive me. If he knows that the person he's a client
A tolerant person, and this, he would be able to forgive him, then this is the best course of action to take. And it's the safest course. However, if the person thinks that, oh, if I mentioned that I backed him, to him, this will cause him to harbor ill feelings against me. And it might give him fit. And I might give him problems, that how is he gonna, you know, React back with me? How is he going to control and it's difficult if someone comes to you and says, You know, I backed with you, then you start thinking, How can I trust that person. And so it has an effect on the other person as well. So if you know that, it's going to be the case where you think that's going to be the case,
then perhaps a better way to, to, to, to deal with this is to make the offer of the person in private, to make the offer the person in private and to mention him in the same gatherings that he banked with him, but in good light, in good luck. So I spoke about the person for example, and if somebody said about him, oh, he's horrible person, whatever. He's thick, he's stupid. He's done these kind of these kind of issues. Then when I want to repent, I of course, I have to ask Allah subhanaw taala for repentance, but then also, after that, one has to say, either ask the person for his forgiveness, or alternatively, make the offer the person in private, does the person have to
forgive? No, he doesn't have to forgive. And this is the very thing that should stop a person from backbiting. He should remember that Allah subhanaw taala will never forgive the person. It is actually conditioned for a lost to accept the repentance of his servants, if they transgress against someone else, he must forgive them. This person must forgive him before Allah, Allah forgives him. So it's easy for a lot of forgive, because he's the most merciful. He's the forgiver. He's the one who has been the one who has back bitten is not All Merciful. He's not all forgiving, and so on and so forth. And so therefore, once you remember, remember this when he's about to back by and the
Prophet said that the one who is bankrupt from Mumbai oma is the one who comes on the Day of Judgment. He has a lot of prayer, charity, fasting to his credit, however, he insulted this person struck that person sees the wealth of another. And because of this, his good deeds will be taken from him, then if his good deeds are exhausted, the sins of those whom he has wronged will be taken from them, and and foisted from them, and then he'll be cast into the hellfire. And this is reported by a Muslim. So that's why it's so important for us to actually avoid backbiting. And this is one of the reasons and we'll touch about that more after the break in charm.
People need each other's needs colors, more than they need to drink.
And it's because even regarding what we drink and eat, we may not be able to figure it out, which is permissible and which
is not preserved. In the books called the Sierra Prophet Muhammad. Salah is not preserved in the books, but on the heart, in the hearts of men, in the hearts of people who have devoted their time to seek and
believe and trust
that none could take place. without the knowledge.
Welcome back. In before the break, we were talking about the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, in which he said that the one who is bankrupt Muftis, from among my followers, is he who comes on the death resurrection with prayer with charity and fasting to his credit, however, he had insulted this person, strike that person and seize the wealth of another. And because of this, his good deeds will be taken from him. Then if his good deeds are exhausted, the sins of those whom he wronged will be taken from them, and will be forced upon him, and then he'll be cast into the fire. And this is a very important Hadith and this should really stop a person from transgressing against
another person. Because when a person who transgressions against Allah for example, he doesn't say
against a Lost Planet Allah, Allah is Allah for Allah Rahim atone, okay, Allah is the forgiver. He's the merciful. He's the one who relents and allows the slaves of Allah to repent to him. So all this is a last pannacotta. But as for the human beings as father creation, they're weak, they're weak, they're not forgiving. They're not all merciful. They're not, you know, all generous, all Kareem and all that. So therefore, they may not forgive a person when he transgressors against him. And that's why in this situation, you will ask him before the break about when, what if the person doesn't forgive you, in that situation, you have no choice but to make die for him. Why because
in a CRT, in a personality of hypocrisy at that the good deeds, they remove
the remove the bad deeds, they remove the bad deeds, so the more a person displays good to another person, he makes the art for him, he does extra deed, then inshallah these wipe away the bad deeds. And this is why the muffler is the bankrupt one on the Day of Judgment. He's not the one who dies without wealth. He's not the one who dies without wealth. He's the one who dies. And he came with good deeds, he may be he may be fostered a lot, maybe he prayed a lot. Maybe he spent a lot in charity. But
that was to his credit, but against him, he's to back by slander hit this person. Okay, and all these transgressions that he could do and unfortunately, this is very common among some people, who may well pray a lot faster a lot, or give charity, but they have a problem with their tongues in dealing with other people. And this may Allah protect us from this can lead a person to the hellfire. Why? Because the other person he ends up taking all of his prayer, all his fasting is Hajj, his charity, and so on and so forth. How about some people, when they see people who pray and fasting or religious, doing these kind of things are backbiting and speaking ill sometimes puts them
off from practice. And the danger is that these people look at these people will help, will they do
an appropriate reaction? Because Well, it's not the right reaction to have one shouldn't judge Islam by the Muslims. Okay, once you judge Islam by what is Islam, to become practicing, doesn't just include praying, fasting, giving charity, and so on and so forth. One has to do that. But also on top of that, one has to be to fulfill the rights of Allah, the Prophet cisilion, the rights of other human beings as well. And that includes not reviling their honor, not backbiting them and slandering them, and so on and so forth. And in fact, this is a greatest sin for that person, the person who does this, he's not practicing, even though he may very well pray, gives
fast he's not practicing. So therefore, one shouldn't look at him as an ambassador of Islam. And controversially, one shouldn't say, Oh, look, these bearded people, this is what they do, therefore, I'm not going to have a bit. Or these hijabi sisters, the sisters who are in a cowboy hat, this is what they do. Therefore, I'm not gonna wear hijab, this is a misnomer, from this is a problem. And this is a, in fact, this is a trap of Shakedown as well. Okay, let's have a look at some of the interviews some of the
some of the comments from some of the people on this topic that if we wanted to stop by backbiting, I think we must start from ourselves, by not to back by the authors. And it's it would be very good solution by starting from each other's, between each other, advise each other to stop by biting by being closer to Allah, and being satisfied with what Allah gave us. And
we should love each other more, and not looking to give other people. Well, what goes around comes around at the end of the day, like I'm a true believer in karma. Therefore, anything you say about someone behind their back will eventually get to them and people will talk about you behind your back as well. So ultimately, it's really inconsequential to talk behind someone's back, it's really useless, there's no need for it, because it'll just come back and attack you at the end of the day. Like, there's no positive thing that can come out from it. It's always good to be upfront with people and blunt with them, even if it means a confrontation. Because keeping something from someone
even like if it's you think it'll hurt them. It'll just build a build up negative emotion more and lead to something really negative at the end. So that's how I feel about it. It's affects the relationships between you and God, negatively, and with your friends. Basically, backbiting or backstabbing causes you to eventually start losing off your friends. I think that's pretty much a punishment on its own, you know, you end up alone someday. So they're very interesting.
points that they mentioned.
Let's move on to the third
way of how we can actually remove this disease of backbiting. And this is by preoccupying ourselves with our own shortcomings. And this should make insignificant in our own eyes, the faults of others. And it's why a mammal hasn't been basilea Rahim Allah. When did he die? We mentioned this earlier on
when 110 of the Angela 110 isn't a nice date to remember because the amendment has an anniversary. And also amounts of piano theory they both died in this year 110 of the history Why do we mention these dates? We mentioned them because then a person can connect to who this great scholar is. He's so close. He's only 110 years. He died after the one of the prophets icims is very close to the prophet SAW similar Sahaba anyway, Mama hasn't been busted Rahim. Allah said that we used to remind one another that whoever faults his brother on account of a sin that he had repented for it will be punished by Allah by falling into it himself. And how many times have we seen this person criticizes
someone else? Oh, so and so he did this and so on. So he did that sin backbiting in a bad way, not advising, but in a bad way. What happens? One year later, two years later, Allah puts him in the same boat, and he ends up doing the same thing. And so I want you to be careful. This is a general rule or this is one of the statements of the author, one of the observations of this great scholar, Imam has an adversity, he said is common. And I'm sure we've seen similar things like that. Abu huraira radi Allahu anhu said, when one of you sees the dust in his brother's eye, but he fails to see the crud in his own. I imagine he's got a whole, you know, big blog blob on his eye, but he
can't see it. He only sees a tiny speck of dust in the other person's eye. So if a person preoccupies himself with his own sins, He won't be falling into backbiting we should remember when we're pointing the finger at someone that three fingers are pointing back to us, there's only one finger that's pointing outwards. So we should remember the other three fingers. Fourthly, we should keep in the company of righteous people. This is a very important way of keeping away from backbiting. When someone's backbiting, get up and leave their company, the Prophet slicin said, the likeness of a good companion. And a bad companion is that of a person caring Musk, and another who
works the bellows. In other words, like a person who works with iron, the person caring musk might give you some of it, or at very least, you will enjoy the pleasant scent. And the person with the balance will either send your clothing or at least he'll make you suffer from the bad smell. Okay, and we can see this. How many times have we seen people because of good company, they've been affected in a good way. And because of bad company, they've been affected in a bad way. How can we can we have some examples? Eisner brothers was quite close to me in college. And he was a nice press, Allah used to do everything that you would expect. And slowly bit by bit, he started speaking
a lot to some of the people who you know, not even Muslim. Speaking little by little by little, then after what was happening, the faction who stopped spending more time and then eventually saw Prince Allah. And he left he left the group.
I mean, this is an extreme example, because the province license had been allegedly, while cofely will share kitaoka Salah between a man and disbelief and polytheism is leaving the press. So the one who doesn't praise not Muslim? And this is a very extreme example. Yes, but do you have any? I know friend of one. He was
he was with a good company, a religious group. And he was using to pray and go to the mosque. But actually after a while he got with a bad company. And he also left arm left many examples we can say, conversely, have you got any opposite? Yeah, I think I
mean, just simple examples. And then
sometimes you fall into backbiting, easily without noticing. But then if you if you decide to hang around people who are very conscious of that, and then every time you fall into the remind you exactly,
that really becomes a habit that you don't mention. And that's what this this point is that to make sure that we actually do hang around with those kind of people. The fifth point, how we can stop backbiting is a very practical one that we can all do, as well and that is to make a firm and determined resolution to stop. There was one scholar of the past. He said that I swore an oath that for every time I backed by someone I would fast one day, I would fast one day and this became so difficult for me. This wore me out since I would back by and then I'd end up fasting
Then I resolve that for every time I backed by someone, I'll spend one silver coin one dinar in charity. And then for the love of money, I gave up backbiting. And I'm sure we can all have some general advice about how we can, you know, stop doing any kind of sin, in fact, by resolving to do certain actions,
like forcing myself to run 10 miles each time I beg, but yeah, that's a very good thing that you do. So
again, within a group, you could say that anytime one of us back bites, the other person gets a punch from
the head in the head. The head does not say if someone doesn't, doesn't pray, nor for repairs, and he favored turning backwards or does any cynical stop praying, you can be 20 Records in fact, I know somebody who used to do that every time I backed by I'll pray 20 hours of prayer and any of the brothers characters actually very good. And you can see some of the things that he does for that what other things can one do?
Just to give him charity has given charity does not wash the dishes, maybe wash the dishes,
because a lot of people you know don't
maybe say washing dishes there'll be put off by that. Yeah, so every time I wash the dishes, okay, taking a shower was a cold water shower examples, and I'm sure the viewers can think of some more inshallah with this, we'll end today's episode and in the next episode,
we should we will talk about some of the different times that we are allowed to backbite and I'm sure this is quite,
quite an interesting topic, inshallah. We'll see you next time. Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh