Channel: Zohra Sarwari
Interview with Alima on Unity FM, December 27, 2012
Bismillah on harmony now senator cinema on Arizona net with me he was sending woman when he joined with me Halima on internal conflicts on unity Fm 93.5. So inshallah Today's topic is a bit of a hot topic, and I'm hoping to discuss, when we have that decision that we have to make it really tough, and we know our Islamic values and hopefully inshallah, we have our Islamic values by our side. And then we go through various internal conflicts, and we have to make that decision, whether it's at work, whether it's at university, whether it's in terms of having a relationship, Allah subhanaw taala, he consistently and he continuously, he puts us through situations that cause us to reflect.
And that is when Allah 100 Allah can differentiate whether we are in a way, most beloved to him, and even more so whether we love Allah subhanaw taala and that's what we're going to speak about today and inshallah we have a guest today. And her name is some of you may know, and for some of you who are local, you may not know because she's not a born and bred Brahmin, like myself. However, she is like sister Megan, she is from the USA. And Mashallah, her name is the harasser worry. And she holds a BA in psychology, a master's degree in business administration, and she is currently working towards a BA in Islamic Studies. And generally when you hear that you think some handle on the
system educated so much. And we have this stereotype that when a system is so educated, she's generally not a mother, and she just generally doesn't have kids and sisters or harass or worry, she kind of breaks the stereotype, and she breaks it well. As I said, Ronnie, she also homeschools her, her four children, she homeschools them and Mashallah one of her daughters her names earlier, we had her recently I had her recently in terms of my own in, in my own organization, and Mashallah, she's just a young child. And you will see her as you will see her speak about Islam, and it's quite inspirational. And also she speaks internationally, she came to the UK recently for a tour Actually,
she writes books, and also she creates curriculums, she'll create curriculums for those mothers, and even fathers who are homeschooling their children, and she coaches, sisters and the youth, and I'm hoping inshallah sisters, our heart will discuss various things. And I was inspired to have this program and also to have systems of her own because she was telling us a story. She was telling us a story, and she told us how Allah subhanaw taala he blessed her with an education, he blessed her with a job, he blessed her with individuals who gave her everything in terms of wealth, in terms of materialism, she was given everything, and at the same time, they had a mortgage, they had stuff
that would not be deemed islamically Islamic, and they had a choice whether they should have it or not. And at that time, the harar she was put through that decision, should I Should I continue my lifestyle, or for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala? Do I go through some hardship, and do I give it all up and go towards that which is pleasing to Allah subhana wa Tada. And she made the right decision, she made the right decision and sisters are her sorority, she told us how she left it all. And they did suffer financially. However, in time, a lost 100 Allah blessed her once again, why? Because she made the right decision. And also the purpose of the show. And I want to I want to speak
about the purpose because as per usual, and I only say this as a disclaimer, we don't get time to discuss everything, and we're not going to and that's why you shall know the purpose of today's show is we want to give you confidence that in the short term you will make and you will have to make compromises. In the short term you will have to however the long term return in this life and the hereafter. It's, it's amazing. It's great. And that's the point and we don't want to like preach to you guys. Generally, you always hear hearing Islamic lectures. We don't want to do that. We want to practice everything. And just like one of when if you are into the gym and you into personal
fitness, they'll see in the morning, you know you get up in the morning and you go for a jog and you exercise a hill Okay, you know what Allah, Allah has ordained Federer, it's, we generally have somebody else telling us that something is
right and then we'll let you know what Islam is it's kinda right it that's not the way is a Lost Planet Allah has decreed everything. So it so it meets our life and in in the end we're happy. So I am going to see if we have sister Zahara with us as salaam alaikum sisters aha Yes. salaam aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh na casa de la who want to get to who I was like, I got a bit worried that I'm like, Oh my god, it's just as a foreigner here. It's, it's really happy to hear your voice actually.
Likewise for your thesis. And I only say we had Megan on last week and I told the story of how we met in 2008 back in Canada, and it's such a blessing to know that Mashallah the sisters were inviting on unity FM. I've kind of met them even though you two are the very few but it's it's an honor to have you on today.
It's an honor to be here. hamdulillah. So I gave them your introduction. And I want to get straight into the heart. I have a few questions for you. And we want to make it interactive. So if you're happy, I'll ask you the question. But before we do that, the discussion is Dean overdone? Yeah. Do you have anything to to say to our viewers before we continue?
No, no, let's get started. Okay, so the first question we have is, why do you think it's so hard to compromise? When a last 100 Tyler has promised an agenda? So we know, we know we have paradise, but people are still falling short in their in their promise to Allah subhanaw taala Why do you think that is? Uh huh.
The lower syllabus Alam a lot of similar. All right, my dear sister, the reason the reason that we cannot compromise is because we can't see it, even though it's such a big return and gentleness, his words can't explain how great gender is upon a lot. I mean, we know that, you know, there's so much information in the Quran and Hadith, but it's still so much of I mean, like, we would never imagine it, that's how great it is. But because we cannot see it, and it's not tangible for us, physically, we can't, you know, put like a picture to it and put our fingers on it. What happens is, we just kind of like, put it in the backburner. See, you know, people could see money, or they work hard for
money, people can see a beautiful home. So they'll work hard for it, they can see good looking people. As far as getting married, they all can't want a spouse like that. They can see degrees as being these people, they can hang on their walls, right? They can see these things, they could see children, the things they can see that people tend to want to work for the things they can't be, they just kind of say, Okay, well, I'll just leave it till later. I can't see it. So it must be you know, it must not be that important or that big. They're not thinking enough about it. So just kind of is put on the side.
Yeah. And you reminded me of a verse from the Quran and I don't think we will return to the Quran enough. And everybody knows this, even though they don't know much Quran and that is, which of the favorites of your Lord can you deny, instead of the Roman? And just like you've said, we we see everything and we sometimes we forget that it's a last 100, Allah gave it to us. And we compromise. And one things I heard before you came on, I told him the story. And Mashallah, when he came down with mercy mission, I was down in Birmingham when you did a session for them online. And you mentioned the story of, you know, your personal experience. So my next question to you is, in life,
have you been through any experiences, which have changed your life due to the compromises you made a Lost Planet, Allah?
Oh, yes, I definitely have,
you know, back about a legacy.
Almost six and a half years ago, you know, about six and a half years ago, almost seven years ago, I actually had a mortgage business, which is a business will grow by interest. And now, you know, I had gotten my broker's real estate license, I was in real estate and I was in the mortgage business. And I really had no clue that Libba that I was dealing with was really head off. You know, I had heard, you know, here and there, you hear things like this is head on, but you don't understand it. Because Reuben interesting, they weren't like always together, and I saw so many Muslims in the business, I just didn't think okay, there's no way if everyone's in the business, including sisters
who are in a job, and brothers have beards, if there's a way this is how my beard would be in the business, right? It didn't make any sense. So, you know, with that being said, you know, I'm in the business and that houses housing business is booming. I'm buying I bought myself some home, you know, was using credit cards buying us we actually bought a condo, like in our hotel room in Las Vegas on the strip, right? I'm in LA
It was just, when you go down, you're going really down. You don't even you don't even understand. Are you thinking you're going up? Because you're getting all these things while I'm doing? Yes. But you have no clue and you can't understand it. And, you know, and here's the irony was my daughter was enrolled in an Islamic school somehow, and was one of the best schools. And people were familiar that I was in this business. And there was other people who, you know, parents were interested. But nobody had come up and told me Look, sister, you know, this is what I'm and, you know, I don't think you should do this, maybe we should get going to halaal income. And nobody really sat me down to
explain anything. I mean, they were aware of it. And so I just didn't think anything of it, right. So I'm in this business. And I'm thinking I've got, you know, I've got two nannies. I've got three homes, I've got everything. But the problem was the problem. But it was then that I realized that, you know, I had a hole in my heart that the degrees the home is the money, nothing satisfied me. I wasn't happy with it. And I couldn't understand why. And so I started seeking psychological help and trying to see if I talked to counselors or whatever, because I was studying for two doctorate degrees in psychology. So automatically, I'm thinking psychology must be it, right? And I'm going
through all of this. And still, I'm not finding my answers, I realized it was because I didn't know my Deen and I didn't know understand Islam that I wasn't practicing and all that. And so that's when I actually turned around and started, you know, studying Islam a little bit here and there. And I made the decision to wear the hijab on humbler. And after this was my first Ramadan, I was very embarrassed because, you know, I was working on to doctor degrees, and I've never read the Quran with meaning. And I said, inshallah, this Ramadan, I'm going to read the Quran with meaning. And so I made that Nia and my husband and I would be driving to and back from work, and I would read it out
loud, so he could also hear and listen. And it was when I was on, you know,
when I came across the idea of pseudo Bukhara, you know, when the ayah that says, Oh, you believe the fate of Allah and give up what remains due to you from Riba you should be and from now on outward if you're really believers, and if you do not, then take notice of war with a lot of messengers. And I sat back and I said, what,
if we're dealing with deliver, we're gonna be a war with a lamb and messenger. And I couldn't understand it. And I was like, No, this is not, but if I'm dealing with I, and I get, I get given myself that excuse, and it was then I called my dad, when I got to the office, I called my father and I said, Dad, you know, that one friend of yours who graduated from a university in Saudi Arabia, and he speaks Arabic fluently. And so can you give me a number, I really want to talk to him. He's a scholar, and I want to ask him about this idea of the Quran. So my father said, All right, and so I called him and I said, You know, I, you know, I've got this mortgage business on the side, and I'm,
and I didn't understand this, I have the Quran Can Can you explain this to me? Does this have anything to do with the interest that I'm dealing with? Which is like mortgage credit cards, student loans, and you know, this, is this the same? Or is this different?
he just pause.
I think he was just overwhelmed is like, question in the gamma? And he said, yeah, this is the same interest, interest in the homes and the credit card, and all that. And I said, Why? I was shocked. I was shocked. And I said, this is the same interest of why are all these Muslims dealing with interest of this is haram, and we're gonna be at war with Allah.
He is, I don't know. Because a lot of them maybe don't know. But the ones who don't know, they just think it's okay. Or they have enough time to repent. And, and I saw this, like, I couldn't understand it. I mean, I was shocked. I was like, they looked at my husband, after I hung up the phone. I said, Who's gonna win that war? It was a lot. Like, I mean, I know, I don't know a lot about the dean at that time. I hadn't a lot of information. You know, I was just learning to listen to lectures. And but I didn't know that no one would win the war. There was a lot of hostile, okay, there's no way that he was gonna win this war. And I just, you know, I couldn't sleep. I know, I'm
having to close the month of Ramadan. I want to put away that night I kept thinking and thinking, and I couldn't sleep and
I woke up the next morning, and I looked at my husband and I said, I'm done. I'm done. I want out of this. And he said, done with why I'm done with this business, the homes interesting, I don't want to have anything to do with it. And he goes, Okay, okay, honey, let's let's just slowly pay off our debts, inshallah. And then, you know, we're gonna, we're gonna go and I'll get a job. And I was like, No, no, no, no, I can't wait for that. I said, I'm done. Now. I want to give it up. Now. I don't I don't deal with it. I mean, I'd rather live on the streets than live on this and be at war with a laugh, at least if I let it go. And we start to pay it off, at least and Alan knows that, you
know, we're doing something but I can't do that. I said, this is like, you know, this is wrong. And so, you know, I made that decision. And you know, I've had the manhandle I use very
supportive, and, you know, he understood and he said, Alright, then, uh, shall I'm gonna put my resume out. And I'll go back into engineering and we'll we'll do this, you know? And I said, yeah, whatever we have to do, I don't care. You know, I don't care about anything, I just want to go the right path. I've been on the wrong path. And I don't want to face a left bumper like this. And it was after this, that when I made this decision, and I started to sell the stuff in from the house, and I was telling my family this often I was crazy. They thought I was having a mental breakdown, like, like, What's wrong with her? She's so crazy. It's okay. You know, some scholars say it's okay.
It's not that big of a deal. Just do it slowly. And then I was like, no. And literally, you know, it was like, okay, in a matter of a month, I think we let go of the nannies that but the house was for sale and one of the houses and for short term better to one foreclosure, because the market just start going down. And we put up his resume and I begged the law, I didn't care where we moved, what happened, just give us a Hello, income. And let us get back on the right track, and let us try paying our debts off and all that. And,
you know, I didn't care about anything except doing the right thing. And so Panama, you know, I want to bring a point in here. You know, we did this about five and a half years ago now that we walked away from everything. And we gave it up and we had no income, no job, nothing, you know, literally. And Allah subhanaw taala opened that door. And he made it possible by giving my husband Hello, income and helping us move. So I do want you to know that we walked forward without having anything to hold on except Allah subhanaw taala. And he didn't make it possible for us.
And you've answered my question, but I was just gonna ask you like, is it? Was it worth it? And I'm guessing it was? I'm guessing it? Yes. But I'll tell you, I'll tell you, dude, keep delving into this, I'll tell you and tell us why it was worth it. Okay, why don't you tell us actually, I, I've heard this story before, but every time I hear it, it kind of gets to me. And it gives him that motivation that insha Allah irregardless of what happens to me in life, or our audience, we will get through it. So why don't you Why don't you tell us about her?
Okay, so I want to leave this to, to the, you know, what, what advice I would give to everyone, you know, to the sisters and brothers and everyone that's listening out there thinking, you know, can I just take a leap of faith and just move forward without having anything to hold on except the last of how can I do this? And I say, Yes, my dear sisters, and brothers, choose your dean. And we're lucky, I swear to you, that inshallah Allah, if it is not for you alone will give you the dunya you will give it you should you strive for work hard, and keep working on it in your in your way, Allah will help you and show us but to the dean, because I tell you, you know, at the time, we walked away
from all of this, which was, you know, six years ago now, a little bit more than six years. But you know, for us to move over here and find other jobs that have been five and a half years, you know, from all of this to happen is that we weren't in debt, about 200,000 forget losing the houses and everything was in debt. And I thought, Oh, my goodness, for the rest of my life, we'll never be able to pay off this debt, because this is a lot of money. And how are we going to do this. And so when we moved to this next phase, where my husband got a job, we had no family, no friends, nobody except Allah subhanaw taala. And it was, it's about seven hours away by plane for my family. And so my
family who have never moved away from now far away seven hours in the plane, and I didn't care about any of it, except that I wanted to play the line, I want to do the right thing. And so when we did this, we left to income for one income, we and all I wanted to do was I wanted to pay our debt off, and I wanted us to go to Hajj and I just wanted a last forgiveness I wanted us to and I wanted to do this. And so but when we came here and I said look, I'm going to put my kids in the slums or shala and then I'm going to get a job too. So we have two incomes and halala incomes and that will pay off our debt first. But what happened was when I came here, I wasn't very impressed with Islamic schools
and I wanted my kids to memorize the Quran inshallah and I wanted them to become scholars of Islam and have so much more in life and I realized that this would not happen even with Islamic school so I decided to homeschool. So again, I made a decision for last month I said you know yada I'm gonna do this for you because this is for the deen This is for this and we had one income My dear sister really want income okay to pay off our debt and live right and so Pamela Let me tell you in the five years and shallots Apollo what happened not only did a lot of pomp Allah help us pay off our debt except with the IRS can we still owe every year but that's a whole new game. But but that doesn't
really count technically, because we didn't borrow money from them. We just have to pay them because it's taxes stuff, but we accept them, our car payments, our student loans, everything else Eliza was help with this one income and not only that,
I was able to start not only homeschool my children from home and take care of them, and help raise them the right way, I was able to start my own business. And I was able to write 11 books, Mashallah read curriculums, and speak and do all these other things, Mashallah, and a lot, you know, and whatever any income I made, would be actually going back into putting into this and doing more for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala. So, what I'm telling you, is, when we left the dunya, what we got to return upon the last five years is more than I could have ever imagined, which was that writing the book and the curriculum that my children writing 10 books together, Mashallah. And, you know,
coming back to not the most important part was having our debt paid off with us. And this was the miracles of a loss of health, I was a miracle. And with that being said, this year, my husband and I went to had a lot. So I would say, in a heartbeat in a heartbeat. I would jump for this again in my life. And and that's so amazing. Like, I was just thinking, Okay, did they go to Hajj and you're like, five years down the line, it happened. And, and it was, and I'm just thinking, Subhanallah, not one year, not two years, but now and you're on unity FM and you can share that story. But you remind me of an ad and it in Surah terlet. And it verse 65. And we all know this, and if you don't
know this, open up the Quran, and you'll see it. Well. Last 100 Allah He tells us again and again and he says, Allah will grant a way out for anyone who needs him. So if you ask Allah subhanaw taala he is hearing you and He will provide for him in a manner he could never have anticipated. Or last 100 to Allah is enough for anyone who relies on him a lot. 100 Allah will accomplish His purpose. Or last 100 Allah has granted everything in do proportion. And I'm just thinking the hij it was meant to happen. It was meant to come. Mashallah. And before that, actually, and we're going to have a break in in a little while, but it is still it's a question. It's a it's a separate question.
Actually. There are a lot of sisters they are, they're in university, they they're gaining their degrees. What advice do you have to the sisters and even brothers about their vision in life? It's another question, but I'm just thinking about it. And I'm like, you're the perfect person to ask.
I would say, you know, the vision that you have in life should be circulated around Allah subhanaw taala. Whatever your vision is, if you whether you want to be a doctor or an engineer, and what is your purpose in serving Allah subhanaw taala with this? How will you be serving him? In what way shape or form and makes sure that everything you're doing your whole life, your whole life? It should be, you know, around what our Deen is, and it should in Islam as a way of life. It's not just a buffet style, we pick and choose what we want and we ignore what we don't want. You know, it's, it's a way of life that we go forward. So for everyone who wants to, you know, so much more lunia
than I tell you, my dear sisters and brothers first learn your deen first learn your deen and then then go after the dunya because when you do go after for you have the intention, the motivation and do it for the sake of Allah, Allah and inshallah Allah, Allah will bless that for you. But no, you're being, you know, just going out there. And I can't tell you how many people in the live events that I've given just the longest year martial law. I was in Singapore, I was in the UK, I was in Canada, everywhere I've been going. I cannot tell you how many doctors and engineers and lawyers have come up to me after my talks and told me that you know what? I feel like I almost wasted all of
that time. Because what I'm doing is not appropriate in Islam. And now I have to like re structure my life. And we'll come down to is going, you should know your deen so you can know how to structure your life the right way the first time because we don't know. We don't know how long we have to live. We don't know. So don't think, you know, just the Guney I think about is what I'm doing in a benefit mutual an IRA. And if it's not, then I cross it off right away. I wouldn't even be wasting my time on it. If everything you're doing if there's something you're doing that is not going to benefit your nakoda then there's no way there's no reason you should be doing it.
Okay, I'm just kidding. I'm just thinking that Alex, Panama, how much times do we waste and I'm going to end there because we have a break coming up but Zahara, stay with us. And inshallah I have another few interesting questions. But before I end, I want to just give you the studio text number so you can text in and that is 0792684 double three, double eight. And I'll say that again. 0792684 double three, double, eight, and insha Allah let us know call us in on a one to one double
728795 and we will take your questions and inshallah we shall see you after the break
Bismillah on Hamlet in a Senate to cinema and at a Sunni net with me he was sending woman to Allah if you just joined in now you're listening to me Halima on unity Fm 93.5 and we have sisters Opera in today sisters across Harare, from the USA, and I've been speaking about sisters are her two sisters are in regards to the over over dunya and she shared her experience, but I wanted to mention it and I wanted sister Zahara to take on it. So inshallah it's a hope and means of inspiration for you all, and even myself, even myself, and the a it is in in the Quran. And Allah subhanaw taala he says, All my slaves who have transgressed against themselves by committing evil deeds, and since a
lot 100 Allah is telling us and he's telling us that, you know, those of you who make mistakes, those of you who make mistakes, and Allah subhanaw taala he goes further and he says, despair, not the mercy of Allah. Verily, Allah subhanaw taala verily, I forgive all sins, truly, he is oft Forgiving, the Merciful, and that's in Surah 39 verse 5053, and a Lost Planet, Allah is giving us hope. For sister Harare, she spoke about where they're deep into the mortgage business, they're deep into into falling in these in these problems. So the question to you is, at any moment of time, did you lose hope in all the mistakes you made?
No, upon Allah, I did. One thing is for sure is I would read the Hadith and I asked them the con and I knew that if someone sincerely repented and they changed, not continued with those same mistakes, they change, and inshallah Allah subhanaw taala would help them and a loved one Walesa, if you walk to me, I'll run to you. And the point of it was that we need to change we need to change ourselves first before I left, but Allah helps us and he says in the Quran, as well, other than I have the crown, but, you know, he cannot, he can't help us unless we do something ourselves. And so I had, I did not lose any hope as a matter, I have so much hope and I knew that inshallah, things would turn
around, it would just be patience, hard work and perseverance. But I would, every time I would listen to an if, or, you know, I had deep and I would just be so happy and I say out of the Please forgive me, and I would still be very sad for my mistakes, and I would repent and, but I kept smiling and saying, Yeah, I'm changing. I'm trying, I'm doing my best, you know, and I wanted to prove to Allah subhanaw taala that I was serious, and I was just not worried that my actions would show for it. So I started to, you know, implement what I was learning to show him and I didn't want it to be one of those things where, you know, so many people like yeah, they just like, they'll
change but it'll be like, Okay, that's enough for now. And I was like, No, the more I wanted to learn the more I wanted to change, and so I know for a moment that I lose hope. I just I would have I think I would have more and more hope and I did make this promise philosopher Baba Yaga be inshallah inshallah together with your help. One says, just as inshallah I want to buy a house and I'm going to pay it off inshallah, the hella way. And then I'm going to teach other Muslims how they can live in America in the West, and live interest free, that they too can have it all with the help of a lot of panelists on ISIS, because I will show inshallah, I want to learn to do it and then show
it inshallah Allah. So I'm actually in the process of that, and if Allah wills inshallah, I will be writing a book about how that is possible. So the point of it being was that I, you know, I, I knew that I was at rock bottom, but the most important thing was that you know, I was going to the right path inshallah, and then I wanted to do it everything the right way from there, so I didn't lose hope I've never lost it. And since then, I've been telling everyone else the moment I get an email of someone who says, you know, they're at the end of the rope and they're thinking of committing suicide because, you know, they don't think they have anything else. I'm just like, What's your
phone number? Because I'm at that moment going to how can you lose hope? How can you think about suicide? There's so much for us to do someone a lot and to win and we have everything How can we have gotten this far? A lot. And so I say that to everyone out there never lose hope and Allah subhanaw taala never ever, ever lose hope and everything else but not him. work towards him. Try your best and show He'll open every door for you inshallah. inshallah, and you remind me I'm with the politicians these days, we've kind of lost hope in a majority of them. Not not all but whenever you come and you like, you know, do you trust him?
You know, when it comes to a Lost Planet, Allah and we say, you know, the President and the Prime Minister, when you go through a problem, they can't hear you, and they can't solve your problem. But Allah subhanaw taala, he will and he'll go one step further. And that leads me on to another question, which I'm quite excited about as a personal development junkie. And that question is, what mindset is essential for success in this world and the hereafter?
Having the mindset that the moment, the moment you submit, you say you're submitting myself my entire self to you, the moment you say with your time and you start showing with your actions, inshallah, then know that you will have the best of both worlds inshallah knowing and then going back and knowing, reading the biographies of the messengers of Allah, Allah Salaam, as well as the Prophet sallallahu, wasallam, into the habit of the law on him and all the righteous people that live prior to reading their biography, you know, learning about them, and how they were always happy, regardless of what tests Allah subhanaw taala put them through, and how they were always
patient, and persevering through this, and how they saw the big picture. And by putting yourself and saying, you know, what, I want to learn about the greatest people that ever lived, and how they dealt with what Allah subhanaw taala gave them. And then you come back and you look, and you say, I haven't even gone through one iota of what those people went through. What am I complaining about? What am I even writing that, like, every time, something like this comes up, you will know how to deal with a high react with and you will know how to start controlling yourself, because you remind yourself, you know, I remember,
Apollo there was like, you know, and we all have this our show, go to some family drama here and there. Remember, we had, you know, there was a family here that was having some family drama, and they had talked to me, and the father said, I just own my son, or how he's behaved. I just own him. And I no longer want to talk to him, and this and that, and he's done something really bad. And, you know, blah, blah, blah. He continued with us. And I looked at the father and I said, you know, you remember in the con, do you remember what happened to you who will a salon, how his sons came and took his most beloved Son, and they said that he was eaten by a wolf. And the father already didn't
trust it, those sons. And now they come back with this, as you remember how he dealt with it. He said, barely, I'll be patient.
You know, Allah knows best. Allah knows everything. And he just he became patient, he didn't yell, he didn't curse. He didn't read anyone else. He didn't go crazy.
He put his trust in Allah subhanaw taala. And decided to be patient throughout this test. And I said, So how? So how can you say this about your son? Who has not done something this severe? Yes, he does something wrong and all that? And how can you say this. So it comes back down to us being able to apply to our own lives and others, like when the times come and a difficult test comes our way, and we think we don't know how to handle it, we go back and we reflect on it from the Quran, and the Sunnah, and the biographies of these great people who live. And that's when we'll know how to deal with it, inshallah students so vital. If we want to be successful in this world and in the
Hereafter, then we first must know who was the son of law successful in this world and the Hereafter, who were the most righteous? Who were the ones who tried the most, for the sake of Allah, and then actually follow those examples. And I guarantee you, my dear sisters and brothers, I guarantee you when you know those, and it comes time, when it comes time for getting tested in the shaula, your reaction will be a bit different. And you will, you will have a diff. And I tell you, you can say I'm so impatient, and I want more patients, that's Yes, you should make the offer patient. I'm not saying you shouldn't be. That's the first thing we should. But
you When reflecting and thinking about these great people and how they were patients was it gives you hope. It gives you ideas, it gives you motivation, and you come back and you think, why can't I be like that? If I want to be with these greatest people in general and the hereafter, then I need to start acting like them the show I'm doing now, right?
And I agree, and on that point, one thing we do in this day and age we all everybody values a personality. And the problem is we do not learn about the people of the past enough. And for example, we have we have amazing figures. We have people like Steve Steve Jobs, and we have a lot of celebrity figures which who are celebrities and I don't know why they are, but you have good. You know, Steve Jobs done something absolutely amazing. Apple, you have other examples, but some Hannon love what made them successful was their determination. It was their determination. And so Herbert rhodiola and Herman when you look back at their life,
they conquered a lot of lands, meaning they were determined, but the biggest formula and the hora has touched upon that is their righteousness. And it's not righteousness that ends on on the way you dress or the way the people who are are with righteousness goes deep. And it's also the that contentment that I'm I'm doing the right thing. And I going on on that point actually, Zahara. I had a another question, and I'm going to change it around a little bit. There are some people that go to they go to extremes, either they focus too much on materialism, which I guess the process that you went through, or they kind of rejected altogether, or even more, so they don't know, what is the
balance, for example, we have a problem within with not a problem within our community, actually, for example, sisters, they may decide to have a degree and then they decide to just home, stay at home, be a good wife, be a good mother and bring up their children. But society rejects that. So I'm gonna I'm gonna cut those questions into one, how do you balance it out between materialism? and focusing?
And not focusing too much on the dunya? You can answer that inshallah. And then I'll bring in the other one.
Okay, I would say, in order to, you know, not be so focused on the materials that is you got to know, you have to have, I guess, your purpose in life. And each one of us have a purpose, we're each created for something, inshallah, and depending on where we're living, and how far we can do with each one of us, you know, to do so much with the gifts that Allah Allah has given us, you know, and this is where like, when I wrote my first book, nine steps to achieve your destiny is based on finding your purpose, who you are, and what you want to be inshallah, so coming to that is going, you know, when you know, who you are, and what you stand for, then you don't care about what anyone
else thinks or feels, or you know, it says, except what Allah thing is, Allah happy with me, is a love Caesar. So let's just say, you know, you go out there and you buy a dress, and that's what you can afford, as long as you take care of it clean Alhamdulillah. So you go back you living your life, to what this is the last part of Allah first and foremost, and then to know yourself that, you know, what I have is, it's enough for me to my contents with it without going into, okay, I want to house that 5000 square feet, okay, if you have the money in a laser job, let's do with it, then somehow, there's no reason you shouldn't have what you want. But doesn't mean that you have to get so
indulgent all that they, you, you know,
you give up
the real purpose in life, for example, we actually had to move a few weeks ago, right after we came back from the move. And I hate moving because it wastes so much time, personally to me to be like, I am not as productive because I'm always, you know, putting things away putting things together. And it's like, such a waste of time. And I remember, you know, after we moved in, after, like, a couple of days, and I had my husband fix the internet, I was like, Alright, I'm just gonna do the rest of this stuff slowly. So I would, I had boxes everywhere. And I just came back and I was like, I'm starting my crock pots in the shower, I'm doing this, I'm doing that I homeschool my kids. I have
clutter still everywhere. But I wasn't. So Oh my God, I'm gonna die if I don't get rid of all this right now. And every night, I would start putting, like, seven, eight bucks away. And then I have my normal day back and you know, focus. So coming back down to knowing what is the most important you because I would ask myself, if I were to die today? Did I do anything productive? Like I didn't read my Quran or I didn't because I was too busy with the Lumia and worried about organizing. Yes, that's also a bother, don't get me wrong, but I just didn't feel like I wanted to die in that state. And so I kind of tried to figure out how do you balance it. So coming back, and that's what the process was
on top of that we need to take the middle pathway through, you know, in the middle, we can't be at one extreme or the other extreme, you know, and really how I do it and how it's helped me to be balanced between homeschooling, taking my own classes, and up beside working on a you know, whether I'm giving classes or making new lectures, or that's how I can do all three and being a mom and cooking and stuff. how I do it is I have a schedule. I have a schedule book, Mashallah. And that helps me, I put my stuff on my schedule book, including exercise, including because my house is important because I know that on the Day of Judgment, Allah subhanaw taala will ask us about our
health know, what did you do with your house? Did you take care of it? And so all of this has to be in my schedule. So I can try to, you know, balance that middle road, and the only way you can do this idea. So, first of all, finding out who you are. What do you stand for? Is that Rolex watch really what you want in your life. I mean, you know, if we want
JANA so bad, then why are we working? You know, 80 hours a week for dunya and only working maybe half hour or two hours a week for her? I mean, you kind of have to sit there and say, Where is the balance in this? Yes, I need to work. But at the same time, what else do I need to do? So for example, the brothers are going and working during the day, then they also have to think, okay, I'm working Alhamdulillah I'm making a living thing here, my family, but can I make it to the must have at least three to five times a day? and worship Allah? subhanaw taala at the masjid, you know, and what else am I doing? And so it keeps coming back down to what is going. I've got the Buddha here,
the last one that's providing me with it, and how do I balance it with my aka, you know, how do I do this work? Maybe I can take an Arabic class in the evening, twice a week? Or maybe I can take, you know, this weekend course? I don't know if they'll count that. And do this with them. You know, so there's so many ways to do it. But it's always looking at your schedule and saying, is my schedule only lunia? Or Where's where am I working for?
Okay, I have a few questions coming in, actually. And if your keys are here, I'm gonna I'm gonna ask them because I think they're quite interesting. Actually. One of those questions is
one of those questions is,
when you have like, you have a schedule book, however, you don't, I don't stick to it. So what what's the solution? I keep making a new schedule book, I keep making a list. And I just find myself falling into the same problem again and again. Well, what answer do you have for that?
I would say first that they would need to have goals, they would need to schedule but can't do nothing if you aren't motivated and driven, to have goals and to wanting to achieve those goals. So let's just say there's a sister out there, or brother, they want to lose 20 pounds in the next three months. This is a goal, right? I want to lose 20 pounds in three months. So in order for me to do this, inshallah, I'm going to be having salad for dinner every night for the next three months, inshallah. And with that, I'm going to work out 30 minutes a day, inshallah. And it's going to be, you know, right, this time is my best time, let's just say, you know, right after the loss, I'm
going to go and walk maybe for half an hour or go and get in and do aerobics, whatever, for 30 minutes, and those two are in your schedule. Now all of a sudden, you've got a goal three months is your deadline inshallah. And prior to three months, you you every single day, you have to do these things to make it happen. And let's just say you only do it five times a week is the salad for dinner and, you know, working out 30 minutes, it's how motivated you are. Okay, the schedule book is not gonna motivate you, you got to be motivated to schedule books only going to do is balance this and help you, you know, look at it and follow through and make sure you're doing it execute it,
And the other question we have that that came in was the, what motivates you because Mashallah, you You seem to be in in one way, taking it out. You seem to be on fire, you seem to be motivated. So what is your greatest driving force?
subhanaw taala, my greatest driving force is my Lord is my Creator, is the one who has given me everything. And for me to think, what am I doing in return for him? What am I doing for him, and if I don't think that I'm doing anything, and I'm not giving him anything in return, I know that none of us are promised Jenna. And we wouldn't go into Jenna even with our own good deeds, it would be by the mercy of Allah Sahaba. But to me is the thing is, every moment that I'm alive, I need to be doing more for him, inshallah, every moment that I'm alive, because, you know, the questions were asked on the Day of Judgment is our youth before we get old, we only have so much time left being
young. And then our energy is totally gone. I know, I talked to my mom and I was like, Oh, my, you know, like, throw my arms I can barely cook anymore. And I'm just like, I feel so guilty and sorry that I'm so far away from my own mother. And, but it's also a reflection to me to think I need to do more knowledge. So that when that time comes through, you know, I've I've had done something for a loss of Allah tala. It's our age, our youth, it's our health, we don't know tomorrow, we're gonna wake up and walk across the street and get hit by a car and be paralyzed for the rest of our lives and not be able to do much for a loss of how Allah we don't know that we don't even know if we're
gonna wake up tomorrow or even go to sleep tonight. So to me, my biggest motivation is, you know, I've done enough wrong it's time to do the right thing. And it's time to do more than writing if I want to be with the greatest people that lived on earth, then I better be doing something inshallah to reflect on that and to make a difference and to you know, to give to the oma whether that's you know, working on an invention on the side making an online school whatever dreams each one of us have it you got to work on a naked because, you know, we all say we want to be with in general for the boss to the process a lot of times, but then you got to reflect, do we do we belong there
really? Do we deserve it? I mean, like I said, it's gonna be by the mercy of Allah.
But are we working hard enough? To say you're a be, I tried my best. I put in every ounce of energy that you gave me. I woke up and saying, inshallah, I'm going to do this when it's time to sleep or when it's time, you know, and your kids don't want to wake you for the hedges and you're like, let's go Habibi. Let's go, let's get up. This is the time where you ask Allah for whatever you want, it's coming back down to my motivation is to please Allah Papa, and for him to be happy with me, and that should I die, and so on. So like, I die with him being happy with me. And I think that's really, if that is your motivation, and that is, then inshallah you will jump up much faster. Because if you
want to lose weight to fit into the dress, and look good for other people, you might not be as motivated. But if you want to lose weight, because of your health, and because you want to look good from us, pomp Allah because you know, you're going to be asked about on the Day of Judgment, this is a bit more motivating. As you know, you'll be asked this question. And what can you say I had so much food available? I just couldn't control myself. It doesn't make enough sense, right? We don't have a good enough answer.
You kind of motivating us all to go on on that diet. Again.
I'm feeling somewhat guilty. We actually have a health show just before this show. I was I was listening to it last week. And I'm like, I should I should come in earlier. But that leads me on to another question, actually. And it's mentioned on what you and it's these other questions we have coming in. And that is in regards to peer pressure. So we're speaking about Dean over dunia, but there is so much pressure, there's pressure for in with us to you know, get that degree, then there's the pressure that you have to work for that degree, then it's the pressure of getting the house, looking the part and also for for the brothers is, you know, going and getting that job that
you have to feed a family. And sometimes compromises are made. So what advice do you give in regards to peer pressure, all ages, whether you have youth, to those who are married, and those who are grandparents, as they may say,
I say you know,
stay away from people who are going to make you feel that way. You know, stay away from that, be only amongst the people who are going to make you feel good, and bring you back to the path of Allah subhanaw taala. And this is advice from the prophets of Allah listen from us, you know, your companions are who you're going to become like, right? So pick the right companion, so you don't feel that way. I think, you know, it's not difficult for us to fall into peer pressure, because, you know, so and so got this or so and so got that, or this or that, you know, and especially for our youth, it's hardest, I think for us, because they're so new being cultivated, and being modeled and,
you know, starting to find their own personalities. And so I think coming back down to this, find your own identity, and don't live for people live for Allah, you know, don't look for what if someone has a house, and they have all the most beautiful curtains in it. So what, to me the way I look at it, you know, I remember I was going through when we're moving, I was going through all the old stuff. And my husband Marshall, I have so many socks, there's a fox, you know, that his bus, and I was looking through a and also the new socks were like in the bottom, and he would always wear the old sock. And I said, Honey, I said, This box is your old socks and these two boxes.
And why are you still wearing all these old box? versus the newer socks? Because you already have them? You're not going out there to buy anymore? It's already here. Why aren't you wearing the newer ones? And he gets? How can I wear new socks? Well, no matter even asked about that dillahunt would wear the same garment, it would be patched so many times. How can I do that? And I was like, well, honey, oh my god long did not have new socks sitting right there. Okay, either give the socks away to do something, because it's annoying me having too many of these pairs of socks. And so he just started laughing so I actually got rid of some of the old socks, I should just wear these and then
you buy any more socks be that's how you feel. And
so it just kind of gets down to you know, where are you mentally? Where are you physically with your relationship with Allah subhanaw taala. And, you know, I remember that when I stopped plucking my eyebrows because this is another thing you know, all the sisters feel pressured as to talk I was and I honestly have issues that their wives like their eyebrows. And I was shocked because I'm like reading the Hadees and I'm like, that's a shift like, What's up with this? This doesn't make any sense. Right? And I remember I had gone to
like to see some people after a funeral janazah and the lady looked at me She goes, oh my god. Have you have you not fucking Iris? And I looked at them. No, I said I've given that up because you know, we're not supposed to. Oh, but your eyebrows are so beautiful. And it makes it look so beautiful. It's okay where your job and what? But don't stop plucking your eyebrows. And I looked at her straight up I looked at I said, Will you answer for my eyebrows in my grave? And on the day of judgment? Will you ask her for me?
And she said no. I said thank you yours.
isn't what I need. And so you're always going to run into people like that they're going to be all over the place. And most of the time, that can be your family. And so you just have to learn to, you know,
be positive and strong and keep working on making your own mind strong. So that's the fear version doesn't affect you that you don't care. You know, it doesn't bother. I mean, if someone comes to your face and they curse you out, and they're just bad mouthing you and you have to be patient through it and you have to wait and you have to hold on. I mean, how can you be like that unless you have a strong human inshallah
a bond to become strong to overcome it. I'm not gonna lie there because we've reached the end of the show, which is actually quite unfortunate. So we're going to end there even though I wish I could continue. So I just want to say we always do this on internal conflict. I just want to say barakallahu li ke for Zahara for joining us today I'm definitely gonna have sisters or her on again, and inshallah quickly before we end, tune in next week because we have a another special guest in sha Allah. Take care