How to Manage Stress

Yusha Evans


Channel: Yusha Evans

File Size: 7.99MB

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Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatu. This is just a small snippet, we're going to start putting some some smaller clips on the YouTube channel of just some general tips and advices. And, and motivations and whatnot. One of the things that that I found to be very helpful for me, I have a lot of coaching and counseling clients who come to me, and they're overwhelmed, and I've been there myself, I know what it feels like to be overwhelmed, overstressed. You just don't know where you're going in life, what you need to do next, so many things are drowning you out. And I've given them this advice. And this advice has worked well for me. And it's worked well, for many of the clients

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that I've I've given this to, is, take all of the things in your life that are stressing you, and write them down all of the things in your life that are stressing you and that are putting your wissen that are that are causing you sleepless nights that are messing with your head, and write them down. And then get another piece of paper and draw a line down the middle and make a list with two sides. On one side of that list, write things that I can control. On the other side of that list, write things that I cannot control, and then start listing your stresses listing your stresses, and ask yourself, Is this something I can control? Or is it something I can't control, if

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it's something you can control, for instance, let's say it's your it's your health, you know, I mean, you're, you're you're overweight, or you need to exercise more things of that nature. Put that on the side of things that I can control, and then start writing a plan of what you're going to do to take control of that, write it down, write it down the things like three step plan, three small steps that I'm going to do to better that, like my health, I'm going to start eating better, I'm going to start sleeping better. And I'm going to start exercising. So these are three things that you know. So now your brain knows, interestingly, your brain understands that these things are

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written down, we have a plan for them, it's not going to stress about them as much because our brain likes to protect us, right? It's it's going to try to do things that remind you to protect yourself. So if it knows us something wrong, it's going to continue to bother you about it. But your brain has this way of knowing that if it's written down, if there's a plan, then it won't stress over it as much. Because you can continue to look at that and put that list somewhere where you can see it there. Look, we have a plan for this, we're working on it in sha Allah. So continue to do that. If something on that list is something you cannot control, then put it on the other side. And those

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things, those things which you cannot control. For instance, let's say it's how someone is behaving towards you. Or it's, for instance, the weather, let's say is the weather is too hot, it's too cold, it's too so is that something we can control? No, we can't control it. Put those things on the side of the list that you cannot control and those things that you cannot control. Give them to Allah subhanho wa Taala those are the things you have to let go of brothers and sisters because if we don't let go those a lot of times I will see people holding on to stressors about things that they cannot control. And if you can't control them, they will control you, they will control your stress,

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they will control your anxiety. Those are the things you have to let go of, and leave to ALLAH SubhanA Wattana these are the things you make dua about these are the things you get up in the middle of the night and pray tahajjud about these are the things like let's say you've applied for a job, right, or you're trying to get a new position in your job. And you don't know whether or not it's going to be accepted, you don't know whether or not you're going to get the job, you don't know whether or not you're going to get the raise, etc. That's not something you can control you if you've done everything you can, and now it's out of your hands, you put that on the side of the list

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of things you can not control. And you give that to Allah subhanho wa Taala Anna, because when you codify things like this, and you put it somewhere you will you can see it every single day. Like for me, my list is right there on the side of my office, I see it every day of the things I can and can't control and the things that I can control, my brain knows we have a plan, that we're working on these things, and the things that I cannot control. These things are the things that we leave to Allah subhanaw taala these are the things that we have to have to work cool about to what cool means that you've let it go, and you leave it to Allah subhanho wa Taala you don't know how he's going to

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solve it. You don't know what the plan is, you don't know what's going to happen. You have no control of the outcome. But nevertheless, nevertheless, you trust and Allah subhanho wa Taala you leave it to him. This is going to make your life and your stressors so much easier to manage and maintain. Because if not we will continue to wreck ourselves about things that either we can do something about, but we're not. And that's our problem, right? That's, that's something we can self correct. If there are things that are stressing you that you can do something about and you're not that will be a constant source of stress. So make sure you make that plan and start working on it

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incrementally. You don't have to change overnight. Let me tell you something, brothers and sisters, progress is not linear, right? And it's not an event. Progress is not linear, and it's not an event meaning

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that you don't just have something happen in your new person, you have to work at that every single day, you're going to have some days where you advance, and you're gonna have some days where you have setbacks, you're gonna have another days where you advance more. And then you have a setback, advance setback, advance setbacks, progress is not linear, it's not just some line curvature that goes straight up, you're gonna go up, and then maybe sideways, where you're not really making a lot of progress. And you're gonna go down some up, down. So understand that you also have to be kind to yourself, you have to be kind to yourself, and never, ever, ever let me tell you, when you make

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these plans, the things that you can work on, make a plan. This is where you need discipline, discipline is better than motivation. Motivation is overhyped, right? People say you need to be motivated, yes, you can't be motivated all the time. No one, no one can be motivated. Every single day, it's an almost impossibility, no one's motivated every single day, and half the time, more than half the time, I would say 70 80% of the time, you're gonna have to do things simply because you have to do them. This is where discipline is more important than motivation, discipline, meaning that I'm going to do these things, regardless of how I feel. I'm going to get up and get out of bed

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and do these things. Regardless of what my mind is telling me. Regardless of what my body is telling me. I'm going to push forward and do them anyway. Because as you become disciplined to doing those things regularly, they will become habits and creating good habits will change the parameters and it will change the the prognosis and outcome of your life. So you have to do that. But on the other side, the things that we cannot control. Those are the things that we have to have hope and Allah subhanahu wa to Anna, we have to have to walk within him. We have to have reliant trust on him. And I remember there's a Hadith of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, where in he said that Allah

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laughs right Allah laughs and one of the companions as the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. He said, Ya rasool Allah, so you're telling me that Allah laughs He said, Yes. And so it is said that, how could we be despondent? How could we not have hope? And not rob, who laughs in a manner that befits his majesty and glory, but he laughs any It is said that I'll rub that laughs a lord that laughs Then he is a lord that is going to be generous and bountiful and merciful to us, so we should never lose hope. And Allah subhanho wa Taala Anna, because he loves all of those who believe and he said other Phil Hellmuth Minoo, the believers will be successful. So if we maintain our belief, if

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we maintain the belief in Allah and His Messenger, la salatu salam, then we will be successful, we have to have hope in that. And that is where the things that we cannot control will lead them to Allah. We don't know what the plan is, but we trust the planner. So brothers and sisters, take the small advice from me. The things that are stressing you in your life, do this list, do this list and work on it, the things that you can work on work on the things that you can't control. You also work on those by leaving them to Allah and not allowing yourself to continue to dwell and stress over things you can't have any control over. And let me know how it works for you. And also if you think

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this is helpful, let me know in the comments or other tips that you would like to see or other suggestions you have for little shorter videos that we have, we're going to do quite often in sha Allah, then drop them in the comments below. In sha Allah and if you want to become a counseling or coaching client and want to have one out one to one sit down sessions let me the link is in the description. So more YouTube videos to come in sha Allah look forward to the next one. I love you all for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala Anna was an MIT come or Rahmatullahi or briquette