The Way You See Life Determines How You Live Life – Suicide Awareness Month

Rahman Al Rahim

Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Ashrafi Gambia it will occur in more saline Shaffir and most needy in our Habib Europe Bill al Amin Mohamed Salah to rugby wa sallahu alayhi wa ala early he was so happy to help for you being a pod hearing in an hamdulillah Muhammad who was there you know who want to steal Pharaoh who want to study we're not only we love him in surely unforeseen I would say Marina Maria de la Hofer la medulla Alma Yulin fella de la Warszawa Allah ilaha illallah wa hola Cherie calahonda Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Abdi who are also a MOBA for in Asda called Hadith he Kitab Allah, wa Hyrule How the hell you Mohammed in sallallahu

alayhi wa sallam, in the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah. We bear witness that no one is worthy of worship but Allah And we bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is indeed his final messenger. The best of speech is the book of Allah. The best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

May Allah Subhana Allah make us amongst those who listen to the best of speech, the book of Allah and follow its commandments. And may Allah Subhana Allah make us amongst those who come to know the best of ways the way of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and make us amongst his followers Allahumma Amin Allahumma Amin a lot. I mean,

you have our rasool Allah is Allah wa Salam wa ala, the Quran Allah who will earn and hire the duniya fi X or Milham T Mobile.

The Quran speaks about this world we live in more than 50 places Allah tells us about this worldly life.

And the reason being is the way you see life determines how you live life.

So if you have an erroneous perception of life, you most likely are going to live your life erroneously. The way you see life determines how you live life. If you believe that this life is nothing but a big, fast race, then the most important thing in life for you would be speed. If you believe life to be nothing but a big party, then the most important thing is going to be that you have fun. Simply because the way you see life determines how you live life. So the Quran, wanting the believer to engage with life in a healthy way, in over 50 different places. Allah tells us about life so that you get to know best so that you can engage with it. Best.

First thing that we have talked about life, life is not perfect. It was never meant to be perfect. It is not perfect, it will never be perfect. Only perfect place is Janna paradise melas hunt Allah make us all of the dwellers of Paradise. But this life was is and will never be perfect or not a bona well in a blue one Nakane bisha immunol Hovi will we'll do it will not simulate and while it will unfussy with some rot, we shall indeed test you by afflicting you, different tests and life B three, B it hunger, be it loss in lives, in wealth in fruits, fruits of your labor, and otherwise, you won't be tested in that way. And then Allah Subhana Allah says, what the shade is saw be read,

give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere are these lessons are so important, especially nowadays.

September is suicide awareness and prevention month. And I apologize if this topic is triggering to anybody.

Now listen to this. 2022 This is last year, over 48,000 people took their own lives.

Over 48,000 people killed themselves.

That comes to about 134 people every single day.

Suicide is the leading cause of death for people under 20.

Five years old, it is the 11th leading cause of death in the United States.

That is one person taking their lives every 12 minutes.

That is a lot of people.

The death by suicide

is double the murder rates in the United States.

You know what that means? Not sure if you heard what I just said.

The number of people who die by suicide, that number is double the number of people who are murdered in the United States. Do you know how crazy that is?

134 people killing themselves every single day.

And by the way, Muslims are no exception to that.

Some Muslims do bring death upon themselves by means of suicide.

In our deen, that is forbidden.

Not only that is forbidden. But listen to what the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam taught your quote on wo sallallahu alayhi wa sallam lie at home and Nana had home will no Talador rain work IV. Let no one amongst you wish for death upon themselves, not bring death upon themselves. We are forbidden as believers we are forbidden as the Prophet of Allah taught us to wish death upon ourselves. But listen to this. He said Let not anyone amongst you wish for death upon themselves. Little rain work I'll be here

because of an affliction because of a problem that they are going through right now.

And I love Muhammad sallallahu alayhi salam salam ala Rasulillah.

You know, the idea is you can acknowledge, we can speak both, about the pain that people go through because remember, people do not commit suicide or do not bring an end to their lives by means of suicide because they want to die. People are just tired of the pain that they are carrying. Nobody wants to live in a constant state of pain. So the Prophet of Allah said, do not wish for death upon yourself because of a problem that you are going through. Were in Canada would definitely, but if you must, because you truly believe that what you are going through is very painful than the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, make an appeal to Allah subhanaw taala and what do you say? Allah

Who mahine mirdamad will hire to hire only? What our funny Madame Atul refer to hieroglyphics Allah Allah rasool Allah. So the Prophet of Allah at that point said, if you happen to be going through that pain,

and you are at the verge of wishing for death, and by the way, please remember, there was a point in our lives that we all have felt man, if I can only just die.

He sallallahu alayhi wa sallam then said, if that is what you're going through, then what you do is make an appeal to Allah and say, Oh, Allah, extend in my life, so long that live in is good for me,

and bring an end to my life, so long that what you know that death is better for me, then you bring death upon me, and I would not take my own my own life.

Now at the end of things, usually people ask,

Why? Why do people do that?

And there are mainly five reasons remember, the topic of suicide is very complex. And any attempt to a single factor is very dangerous. But by means of survey in an observation, here is what we know.

Number one reason why people bring an end to their lives is depression.

80% of the people who took their own lives, they did so because of depression.

Depression is this constant feeling of down hopelessness, helplessness, low energy, change in sleep and eating habits, wishing and contemplating death and being socially isolated. But here's what we want to remember. Feelings. Be the up or be the down, be the intense or be the weak, be the strong or be the end.

anyways, feelings are not permanent.

Our feelings are important, our feelings are very, very important. Our feelings, color, our perception,

our feelings, influence our attitude,

our feelings, mold, our motives, and our feelings dictate our actions, our feelings are important, but no matter how important they are, feelings are not permanent. Feelings are like waves. They come and they go, they come and they go. And that is why it is important to understand when people say, Look, you are using suicide, which is a permanent, irreversible solution for a temporary problem.

Let me say that again. Suicide is a permanent, irreversible solution for a temporary problem. What is that temporary problem? I don't like the way that I'm feeling. Now maybe been feeling this for this year, and the year before and the year before. But it remains to be that feelings are not permanent.

And that's why you've got to love the way that the prophets Allah Allah, Allah wa sallam Top

Method will move many conformity Minister, the parable of a believer is like a tender plant

that fell over Lee that the wind blows. But what happens is, when the wind blows, what does that tender plant do? It bends, because you know, there is no need for fighting right now. You just you just do that. That's what it is. And you toughen this out for now. And then what happens? When the wind quiets, it goes away, then what happens? That tender plan comes up again,

we want to acknowledge

that good believers can actually experience suicide, suicidal thoughts, they can experience depression. You know, one of the myths amongst us is that because you've got the Lord in your life, because you pray, because you come to the masjid, you should never experience you know, these types of feelings of depression. Wallahi, that's not true, Wallah, He that is not true, a believer can be very tender in their heart, troubled in their mind. And that does not take away from their belief. We don't say this to encourage we say this to acknowledge that there is a possibility, a very good possibility, an observable possibility that sometimes good believers may experience these feelings,

and that does not diminish any of their belief, or the fact that they are practicing good Muslims. So we want to acknowledge that, because the more we push off this, the less people talk, and the majority of people end up suffering in silence. Interestingly,

and inshallah this will be our topic for, for tonight, by the way, in the family nights since this is suicide awareness month,

just talking to my brothers here,

found out that the majority of people who end up dying by means of suicide, or men,

more women attempt, but more men bring an end to their lives by means of suicide. And the question is, why? Why do men do that?

What they're finding out is, men have a tendency to tough it out and suffer in silence by themselves. Because we are taught, expressing any of these things,

is not manly.

That is not how men do things. That is not you know, men don't talk about these things. Men, we want to come together and we want to talk about sports and we want to talk about politics. We want to talk about stocks, we want to talk about real estate, but in our as far as my personal feelings. So most men end up suffering in silence.

Remember, I told you the story before of this man who decided that he was going to jump

of the Bay Bridge, the Golden Gate Bridge. And he goes there. And here's what he told himself in the morning. I apologize if I'm repeating this story, but it's a very telling story. He said, If today, nobody asked me how I am doing, I'm going to bring them into my life. Throughout the day, nobody asked him how he was doing. He woke up in the morning and he said, That's it. This today is the day I am bringing an end to my life.

walks out of his house, gets into his car. Nobody says anything within the neighborhood, as it was nicely said, Can you briefly describe your neighborhood said yeah, man, my neighborhood 7am The Garage Doors go up 7pm The garage doors come down. That is my neighborhood.

Man drives, parked his car. Walking on the bridge says a couple Morning Sir, can you please take our picture? They they say good morning. But nobody asked me how I am doing. Man said nobody asked how I am doing. And he decided that he was going to jump and he jumped. And we know the story because he was one of four people that survived 126 people jumped off the Golden Gate for survival. And he one of them. But what was it about him? He said, man, he said nobody is asking me, how are you doing?

And the tendency is that we do ask each other Hey, man, how you do my work is good. I didn't ask about work. But how are you doing? Man? You know, hamdulillah family is good. I'm not asking but family glad that your family is good. But how are you doing? That's when people pause. And they start crying? What's going on man? And nobody asked How are you doing anymore? Nobody genuinely asks, How are you doing?

And these are the type of questions and these are the type of, you know, conversations that every now and then we need to have with our close friends. You know that talk about word conditional check some Simon. How are you doing? Checking on each other, genuinely creating a safe space for us as men, creating a safe space where people that I can talk. We don't do this in large groups. But you know, people that we consider friends, you want to sit and just say man, how are you doing? And when we do that, we validate we normalize. We create a safe space for people to talk to one another about this. May Allah Subhana Allah keep us safe and sound, Mel's gonna keep us healthier. But Ireland, a

Hula, hula hula, we're looking for stuff in the Hall of Fame.

hamdu Lillahi wa. Wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah Hill, Mustafa, while I'm in the SR Hepta.

Sometimes when we bring up these topics, again, you know, as a community of believers, we tend to be defensive. But people really need to do is read more Quran. What people really need to do is pray more. And believe me, please do read more Quran. Please do pray more. And these are all things that we genuinely truly believe, do help us when we are going through difficult, difficult times.

Also, what they found out is that the more we be of help to those who are around us, the more joy we invite to our own lives. One of the ways of fighting these things would be making somebody happy. So it's very contagious that in turn, it also makes us makes us happy. Please remember that depression is treatable. And there are two ways of treating depression. Depending on the severity of depression, we can do talk therapy, which is very helpful. Sometimes if the case is severe, we ask people to go and see a doctor. And sometimes a person may be prescribed medication. There is a stigma in our community about mental health, about seeing a psychiatrist referring to them as

shrinks or therapy is only for weak people and shrink is only for crazy people. And the more we talk like this, what eventually happens is that we are asking people to suffer in silence. That is not good. And that is not and that is not healthy. What we hope to do by speaking about this publicly is that we want to end the stigma about it. We

Want the people who may be suffering from depression or they have a loved one suffering from depression, a person who has entertained suicidality before a person who has a loved one that may be brought an end to their lives, because Because of this, that there is definitely support that we can provide within within our community. And of course, we want to bring that awareness in case. You know, a family member makes a reference to this member, one time a young girl from our community came and she said, you know, the other day, I went to my father and said, Dad, I'm really, really depressed and dad banged on the tape said, depression is not a word that we use in this house. What

he meant is, is a good father. What he meant is,

we have a good life, there is no reason for us to be depressed.

Few months later, that girl was a client, because she really started harming herself, because there was nobody to talk to. So when our loved ones come to us, and that's what they're sharing with us. We want to take the time and say, What do you mean? Tell me more. Invite them, create a safe space for them, so that people can tell us what is going on. And when we know what is going on, at that point, we can offer help and we can offer support, so please insha Allah to help. Do join us tonight in sha Allah for the program. It will be after Asha will be myself Dr. Sermon sister, so her sister has a therapist. Dr. Silva is a doctor in sha Allah, MD and inshallah we will be talking about this

topic. In more in more in more details. If any of us are our loved ones are going through depression may Allah Subhana Allah give us a full and speedy recovery. If any of us or our loved ones are not feeling good, may Allah Subhana Allah ease our pain, if any of our loved ones have passed away, may Allah Subhana Allah bless their souls. If any of us or our loved ones have lost the way may Allah Subhana Allah bring us back to his way. Robina Tina dunya hashanah Well Phil Alpharetta has

been not about Allah in Allah how miserable Abdullah Sanita Cordoba when handled fascia will move your

karoun further kulula has come with guru Harlan and he has it commodity Akbar Allahu Allah matters in our own opinion Salah