The Marriage Crisis
Channel: Yassir Fazaga
File Size: 26.23MB
millerhill Rahman Al Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Ashrafi Ambia it will occur in mursaleen Shaffir al Madani vino Habib Europe with Alameen Muhammad in Salawat rugby was Allahu alayhi wa. He was so happy to help you be in a poor hearing in Al Hamdulillah Muhammad who want to start, you know, who want to start a few who want to study. We're not going to be left I mean surely unfolds, you know, say Marlena Mejia de la Hofer la medulla. Oma yodeling, Fela de la wa shadow Allah ilaha illallah wa who luxury color. Wanda Mohamed Salah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Agnew who are also a mother actually in the Quran, Hadith he Kitab Allah, wa Hyrule howdy. How do
you Mohammed in sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, in the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah with a witness that no one is worthy of worship but Allah And we bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is indeed his final messenger. The best of speech is the book of Allah. The best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. May Allah Subhana Allah make us amongst those who listen to the best of speech, the book of Allah and follow His commandments. And may Allah Subhana Allah make us amongst those who come to know the best of ways the way of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and make us amongst his
followers. Allahu Amin Allahumma Amin Allahumma
Ababa Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who la pura buena Jalla wa Ala Amin IRT and Hala, Perla cumin and Fujichrome as well as the latest guna ADA. Yeah. Well, you're another in Okinawa that Anwar Rama in either local area to local Miata for karoun.
Allah Subhana Allah tells us in the Quran, and off his wonders, beautiful creation of Allah of his size of his wonders is that he has created for you made of your own coined, so that you may find peace and tranquility with them, and he engender the new love and kindness. Indeed, in this are Signs for those who reflect and think about it.
We hear this verse a lot in how the Quran refers to this relationship between men and women. In our deen the relationship here is in the sense of marriage, that it is one of the wonders of Allah subhanho wa Taala
This is such a big wonder that when you look into the 13th the order of the verses, the verse that comes after it all or a boner woman it hung Kusama, what are the Wakulla for Alsina como el when you come in the FISA Licola yattalunga alameen indeed, and of His wonders, is the creation of the heavens hunt, to all the creations of the heavens on the earth, work the law for unseen
and the diversity the variations in the color of your skin, and in the language that you speak. Indeed, in these are Signs for those who know.
Now you would think Wait a minute, the creation of the heavens is far more superior than the creation of man woman, the wonder of marriage. And it is. Not only do we say that, but the Quran says that Lohan was somewhat out of the bottle in hulking nurse while Akina axon naskila Allah Moon, the creation of the heavens and the earth is a far superior sign over the creation of man, but most people do not know.
But if the creation of the heavens and the earth is far superior, why is Allah subhanaw taala at least in the order mentioned that this wonder of marriage male female relationship is mentioned before the creation of the heavens and the earth. And the scholars say that this is to get people's attention. Because sometimes if you put things in the proper order, people may just take things for granted but then all of a sudden the Quran wants to surprise the listener or the reader of the Quran by switching the 30 the order. So Allah Subhana Allah says that of the wonders of Allah subhanaw taala is that he has created for us this institute of marriage with our mates or of our
Our own kind and once we are in them, in this institution, we are potentially to find peace and tranquility. And Allah subhana, Allah has put the ingredients there. And that is of kindness and love.
There is a problem as we speak in the US, the declining of marriage is very, very alarming.
Talking about marriage is down by 60%.
In fact, they're talking about how in the 1950s 80% were married couples, versus in 2020, we are down to 49%.
This is the lowest 2022 has been the lowest year in record. In the US, we've been keeping records since 1867. Since 1867, every single year, we know how many people got married. We know their age, we know how many people divorced, how many children they have gotten this year in 2022, has been the lowest year in record.
In fact, that is projected by 2030 45% of females are going to be single and childless.
Now, any society would view this as this is very, very dangerous. Because it is so alarming that the very existence of this society is very, very problematic at this point.
Seeing that in the 1950s. Now the average age for people to get married, was between 22 and 25. In 2020, the median age for people to get married men was at 30 years old, and women are at 28 years old.
You know, one thing that makes Islam stand out is this invitation to marry or only marry, marry young. In the Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would speak. And he would tell people, your natural Shabbat Minister Imran Khan affiliate as a which young man, whoever amongst you is able to get married, get married. And to us mostly we think of modesty, which is rightly so people when you get married, you are less likely to go the wrong route. So now the idea is in order to protect your modesty, as a younger man and a young woman marry early.
But we also knew that in sociology, we are taught that one of the fastest ways, the best ways to teach young men to be responsible is to get them married. Because the minute these young men become married, they said that brings discipline to their lives, potentially brings discipline to their lives, make them responsible, and makes the man up much sooner.
You've got people 30s and 40s. And they're addicted to video games. You've got people in their 30s and 40s. And all they care about is what kind of shoes am I buying? And what kind of rims Am I putting on my car and what kind of paint job Am I putting on my head and when you're 40
you're 40. But yet, these are your concerns. This is what's in your head. This is what you want to do with your money. These are the important things in your life. So they say that one way that society encourages young men to man up is seeing that they get married at an early age. You know in the Hadith, we see that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had a daughter, Fatima or the Allahu anha. And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam would encourage people don't make it difficult for people to get married. Once they are at that age, get them married. And I'm sorry, I don't mean to be vulgar here. But if the average age is 28, for women to get married, and the average age is 30, for men to
get married, this young man, this young woman, they have been least physically ready to be sexually active at the age of 14. What is this young modern woman's supposed to do until she is 28 for the next 14 years? What is this young man supposed to do for the next 16 years until they get married? People refer to this as the years of hell.
Because on the one hand, I've got all this energy that
is within me that I have no way to direct it. But at the same time, here I am to be trying to be a good practicing Muslim. But this is very difficult.
And by the way, this is not only an Islamic, it is very natural.
It is not natural.
This is not how we were created to be. I know that we've got to finish school and do this and do that. That may be nice, but it's not natural. And we are seeing the impact of this show the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would encourage people say, Look, do not make this process a complicated process. Do not make this process an expensive process. But the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam not only talk the talk, but he also walked a walk I live in Abu Talib is a single man.
People come and propose to fight them out of the Allahu Fatima, the daughter of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam prior to her marrying Sedna, Ali, you know who proposed to her Abu Bakr suit the the body body of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and the prophets Allah Allahu alayhi wa sallam said, Allah subhanaw taala Abubaker. Booker, she's still young. Roma comes and proposes. And the Prophet salallahu alayhi salam tells them that she's still young. She's young for you. She is young for you. Abu Bakr, she's young for you. Roma.
you say that a woman in the community there in Medina, she comes to say Edna Ali, and she said, Holly,
why don't you marry Fatima? So in Alison, me marrying fought for ultimate the daughter of Muhammad Salah me marrying Fatima
with what I have, I have absolutely nothing. Yes, my father is a prominent figure in Makkah, but right now there is no there is nothing that I have. She said the insults the who they use a virgin Nokia just ask him in the prophets Allah Allah Allah wa sallam will marry his daughter said Natalie says that I put on my job, looking good. He said that I went to speak to the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam said, Fela Mara is who hip to hosel Allahu alayhi wa sallam will have hamdulillah Mustafa Al Kalam. He said, but once I was in the presence of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, I was in such awe of him that I became mute. And I could not talk.
So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Magia ebic What brings you they said I said nothing for another alien. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam looked at me and he said, da da boo. Fatima said, you're here wanting to propose to Fatima. Instead, how did the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, that is what brought me. So the Prophet saw the prophets, Allah Salam asked, Ali said, What do you have? Here? You're proposing for a woman? They were how do how do you say about your financial abilities to spend that amount of Allah? I've got nothing. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in the criteria I know that you have an armor you know people back
then were so poor, you would know who has what same way that you come to the parking lot you would know who's driving what. So similarly, people know what did people have? I said, he said in the car, did you have an armor Corolla? Hello Tamia. We are back. Dara him is a prophet of Allah Allah they have Yes, it is. This armor made by a tribe called Jota Jota mania, and it is only worth about four silver coins. That's it. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said it is good enough.
That union the union between Ali Ibn Abu Talib and for tomorrow the Allahu anha produced al Hassan Al Hussein, Sayed Al Shabaab, Legion. It produced a hassle. Hossain Hoon, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that they shall be the best amongst the youth of, of paradise. So with this, you will see this invitation in our deen that allow young people to get married early, encourage young people to get married early, make it easy for young people to get married early for this is natural.
There is only natural that we be in these relationships when we already understand. I'm not going to give my daughter to some 18 year old kid who just finished high school. He we're not saying that do this now. But at least we've got to start thinking that there has got to be a process that we help our children
mature early. One of the mistakes that we parents do is that we do on regular basis for our children, things that they can do for themselves. And the minute you do that, you robbed them of their independence, you robbed them of growing up. So a way that we raise our men the way that we raise our women that you stop talking to them, like their babies, when they're 13, and 14, you're a man right now, you are a woman, you start helping these children mature and grow at an early age. So that we can say that man by 1820, these people aren't really mature enough to be in these types of relationships. People knowing that this is very alarming, they started studying what is what is
going on? Why is this happening? And it turned out that they come up with about six reasons. One of them is we live in a time where people prioritize their individuality over everything else.
So much so that currently 15% of adults in the US live alone.
And they're talking about people who have past a certain age, people who are over 70, living alone, with absolutely no family, no children, no brothers, no civil, nothing, no family whatsoever. That number is on the rise. Alive can be very lonely, man.
So now right now you can enjoy all that individuality, that you want people saying that look, I've got my own beliefs, I got my own system, I've got my own comfort zone. And I am not willing to give that up.
In addition to that, you're only these 15% are preferring to be alone by themselves. But the thing is,
there is also another culture, and that is the hookup culture, where people can actually have their sexual needs met with absolutely no consequences, no demands no need for an exit strategy, which makes it less likely as to why people would want to get married. That does not apply for those who wish to be practicing believers. I can't do that. I cannot be part of this. Because this is not the fitting to the teachings of our deen
they're talking about one of the reasons also is that people not wanting to have kids.
in the US today as we speak, there are more dogs than there are children under the age of 18
Listen to this one more time. There are more dogs today.
People have and raise them there are children under the age of 18
or fill Hadith o Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam yet to Allah nurses Oman Latin Europe Devi ahead to whom joke one hobble in a human and your ability.
He said that there will come a time when people prefer to raise a puppy over raising a child
want to be alone? Now I don't have time for kids might they restrict your freedom? They take away your this and they take away your that so what do you do? Don't get married.
People are also talking about part of the reason why they are not they decline in marriage is now people can live together without being married. Why would you do that can take off anytime.
That's not that just becomes a what we call serious monogamy from this relationship to that relationship and then this relationship and that and that is not how you build a that is not how you build a society. People speak about the impact of feminism and all the erroneous teachings that women have been taught. Oh you don't need him and you don't need you know in our deen Allah Subhana Allah refers to us as zellige appear. People are equal with unlike color, color, common unphysical as y Zhao he has created for you may it's of your own coined. This is not about the superiority, inferiority, this is not a power,
power struggle or anything like that. And then finally, they also speak about financial independence is on the rise.
meaning that it used to be in the past, especially for women, they needed to rely on their husband to provide for them. But with the rise in education, which we absolutely have no problem with ability of women towards which absolutely we have no problem with that came at an expense. Now here is the sad, here is the sad part. And I conclude with this Insha Allah, that those who are most impacted by this are our sisters. Women are mostly impacted by this. They just said that in 2030 45% of women, between the ages of 25 and 44 are going to be single.
You hear these calls,
sisters calling in domestic. I'm really getting old. I don't get proposals. My father says no, I'm so busy, very difficult to meet people. My biological clock is ticking. You know, about 20 years ago, people would refer to geriatric pregnancies, a woman that is 38. And over, that number is actually coming down. A woman who gets pregnant after the age of 34 is referred to as a geriatric pregnancy, meaning that this is somebody who is getting pregnant in an old age. Remember, chronologically, she is still younger 34 But to get pregnant. Now that is considered to be a geriatric pregnancy. That is serious. And that is, we make it part of our mission part of our DNA is
to look into 20 Lamora Bucky Morrigan What am income or selenium in ematic ryebeck. The Quran gives a direct command, see into it, make it part of the mission of a community that the singles amongst you are actually married. Life can be very, very lonely specially for those who seek that type of companionship. Life can be lonely and now it is the community that works in making sure that this happens. May Allah subhanaw taala protect our families. May Allah Subhana Allah protect our chastity and may Allah subhanho wa Taala give an increases in understanding and bring us closer to him or Bill Alameen Apolo Avila was thoughtful hola Hello welcome First of all, who in the whole world of
hamdulillah halacha Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah Hello Mustafa. What I learned bsrem Shiva Nabi SallAllahu, alayhi salam, Masha, Allah me good, good fella, certain. Ghana, Allah, Allah who happen, our know your three types of people. Allah subhanaw taala has made it incumbent upon himself, Allah promises I shall help these individuals. One of these individuals is where the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, workshop one you read after
a young man, sharp young woman who are looking for a means of protecting their modesty. Allah subhanaw taala says these kind of people, I shall help them. It is incumbent upon me that I help these kinds of people
that help comes when communities come together. What is it that we're looking for? We are encouraging those who are capable to marry at a young age, especially if they desire and they want to please make the process an easy process. We will speak about how much it will cost to have a wedding? How much do I have to pay for this and how much I have Shala if you can afford that mela shantala give you more. But as a movement, we are to be a community that looks into the bigger picture. And that is the whole notion of you know what, do not make this an obstacle that actually makes people
want to marry less and less. Number two, facilitate in the most civilized Halal way for people to get to know one another. You know, it used to be in the past that people knew each other so well and people lived in the same neighborhood. Well, that's not really the case for us anymore. So what do you do? Facilitate for activities in the most Halal way in the most civilized in the most decent way for people to get to meet one another?
so that you make it you make it easy for people out there. This one is going to be a little bit difficult to digest. But Allah it is important.
Quantity polygamy is halal.
It tag good Khaled live on your stata here. For those who are able, it is part of our deen. And the point here is not to destroy families nor to bring marriages to an end. But if a man can marry another man and a woman can marry another woman, and that is protected legally, I think marry more than one woman should not be a problem for people. But it is, especially amongst Muslims,
especially amongst Muslims. That is part of it. And for those of us who come from a polygamous background, we honestly don't see the problem. But unfortunately, there is no social acceptance for we're not promoting that. But don't look at it and frown upon. It's like a big crime. Man. This is part of the deen it may work for some people, Al Hamdulillah. Good for them. If it does not for you. It's not if it does not work for you, then it is not. It is not for you. That does not make the sister less nor does it make the brother bad. It is part of our deen.
But the point is, we have a problem. And that problem is not good. And part of what we do is address some of these issues and say we've got to do we've got to do something about it. And it all begins with the notion of awareness. Marriage gets people out of poverty. You study in economics in sociology, a tell you that the quickest way for people to get out of poverty is to get married. Marriage makes young men man up sooner. Marriage protects people chastity, most important ala Nabi SallAllahu, alayhi wa sallam, and Nikka Hermanson naughty Omen Rabobank soon the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam speaks as getting married as part of his sunnah that's part of his way, and nobody
should reject the way of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam May Allah subhanaw taala protect our families? May Allah Subhana Allah protect our young men and women. May Allah Subhana Allah protect and guard our chastity arpillera mean May Allah Subhana Allah provide for us the means to what is halal Europa, Allah mean May Allah subhanaw taala enlighten us may Allah Subhana Allah make us aware. May Allah Subhana Allah make us of those who intend to ease to our community or of Allah mean if any of us or our loved ones are not feeling well may Allah Subhana Allah grant us all a full and speedy recovery. If any of us are our loved ones who are going through difficult times may Allah
subhanho wa Taala ease our pain, if any of our loved ones who have passed away May Allah subhanaw taala bless their souls are going to add in after dunya hashanah hasenhuttl Lapena either but not about Allah in Allah had more of an advantage anyway. When hand fascia will move very well but you're able to look into the Quran political law has good commercial Ruhollah and music whether the Aquila Akbar Allahu Allah Mata sinner own solo