The 3 A’S For A Happy Family
Channel: Yassir Fazaga
File Size: 21.83MB
the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Most Merciful All praise is due to Allah. We bear witness that no one is worthy of worship but Allah And we bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is indeed his final messenger. The best of speech is a book of Allah. The best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. May Allah Subhana Allah make us amongst those who listen to the best of speech, the book of Allah and follow its commandments. And may Allah Subhana Allah make us amongst those who come to know the best of ways the way of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and make us amongst his followers Allah Who mean Allahumma Amin Allahumma Amin, Ya
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who la ala your group Allah who will unfurl later alumnus. One of the styles that the Quran uses in order to teach people is the usage of examples and parables. Your honorable Nigel avala masala, Zina Taha zoom in doing Allah here Alia aka masala Anka booty Taha, that beta. We're in now Honolulu de la vie to Lanka booty loca, and we are in the moon. The likelihood the parable of those who have taken allies and supporters besides Allah is like the spider that has built a web for itself, or it has built a house for itself. And then the Quran says and the weakest, the flimsiest of houses is the one that was built by the spider, only if people
This verse at the central surface level seems to contradict science.
Because we know that the web that is made by the spider is very strong.
In fact, it is so strong, they refer to it as bio steel. Steel is strong, if you can stretch it twice its actual size that is very strong.
You take the silk made by the spider and you can stretch it six times its actual length. Yet Allah says the flimsiest the weakest is the house that is built by the spider
they're talking about, if they can get the same material that is built out the web is built off. If they can get it in a one inch diameter, they will be able to actually hang a 747 airplane through it. Yet Allah Subhana Allah says the flimsiest and the weakest is the house that is built by the spider. Spider Web is so strong that in many civil engineering departments, people study the construction of the web. The web is so strong that if you cut it at certain places, the web actually becomes stronger. In some places, it becomes 15% stronger in other places, it becomes 35% Stronger Yet Allah Subhana Allah says def flimsiest and the weakest is the house that is built by the spider.
They're talking about making bullet proof vests that are made out of this material because it is so strong. Yet Allah subhanaw taala tells us that the flimsiest and the weakest is the house that is built by the spider. The web has the ability to stop a bee or honey bee flying at the speed of 15 miles an hour. Yet Allah subhanaw taala tells us that the flimsiest and the weakest is the house that is built by the spider. And as you know, there can never be a contradiction between the correct understanding of the Quran and accurate science, there can never be contradiction between them. This is his creation subhanaw taala. And this is his revelation subhanho wa taala. So where does that
weakness come from?
Some have suggested, though the weakness is actually not a physical weakness. Physically, we've just spoken about how strong the house is.
But it is the familial weakness that makes it the flimsiest of all houses.
See, when scientists studied spiders, turned out that a zoo
Known as the male spider and the female spider mate, the male spider has to make a run.
Because the mission of the female spider is going to be to kill the very husband that she just mated with.
In fact, it turns out that when the mama spider gets too hungry, and there is nothing that was caught, that mother's spider will devour her own children.
As soon as the eggs hatch, the stronger siblings, the first thing that they eat, is their own brothers and sisters. So they say that the building looks very strong. But that's not where the problem is. The problem is the familial weakness.
Allah subhana, Allah said, The parable of those who have taken allies, and protectors and friends other than Allah is like the spider that has made this web thinking that it is so strong, not knowing that it is the flimsiest and it is the weakest because of the internal weakness that is in there.
And sometimes, unfortunately, this is really what happens within our own families, may Allah Subhana Allah protect us all, yada, but I mean,
you know, an average person would want to have that type of security, bullet proof house, high fence, no, all kinds of cameras and all kinds of, you know, detection tools and, and that's really nice. And if you have one, may Allah Subhana Allah give you more reliable Alameen. But that's again, that's not where the problem is. The problem unfortunately, is what happens now that the skeleton is strong, but what else is going inside inside that house? And Inshallah, in the few minutes that we have just going to be sharing some Prophetic teachings, as how do we avoid something like this? And how do we create stronger bonds? We refer to them as the triple A, of building stronger families.
attention, affection, appreciation,
demand. That is how we tell our family members, that they are the number one priority in our lives. Nobody is more important than our families. Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. It is said that he would be meeting with a delegation. They're sitting with him. As soon as far as Lima Alayhis Salam, his daughter would walk in sallallahu alayhi wasallam, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam gets up, he walks towards his daughter, kisses her on her forehead, and he makes her sit next to him. This meeting was important. This delegation is very important. It has very powerful people. But man, as soon as Fatima walks in, you will make sure that the most important individual becomes Fatima or
the Allah one. Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam will be delivering a hotbar a sermon has an interest in his grandchildren who would walk in and they walk in and falling walk in and falling on the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam leaves the member leaves the pulpit. He goes around and he picks them up and he comes back holding both of them and said, My heart couldn't help but when I saw them walking in, that's what the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam would do.
Attention. It seems like everybody else is a priority, except our own families. Remember one time after the a thought but the chef made the announcement towards the end of it and said brothers today I want you to hug your family members. Hot buys over people are all over the place. And then a 19 year old girl comes to the chef. And she says yeah, hi. Just want to thank you. I am 19 years old. I do not remember the last time that my father gave me a hug today, because you made that announcement. My father gave me a hug. We get them after very hard work. And we hug the person next to us. We don't know them. We hug them three times.
And then we see our family members and from a distance we wave at them. Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would be leading Salaam and then he would hear a baby crying. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam expedites the Salah and it was visibly very fast. And people said prophet of Allah what happened? The Prophet
Allahu alayhi wa sallam would say that I heard a child cried, and I knew that his mother would want to attend to him. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would speed up the salah
So the younger our children are, they get their sense of self, from what we tell them from the attention that we give them. A child draws a picture. And immediately after they're done with it, they come running. Baba, Dad Look at this, and they show it to their mom, they show it to their dad, they want your approval. They want your validation, And subhanAllah it is little things that we use in order to express attention, telling people that they are a priority to us. But the ones working on a very, very important project. He has a deadline to catch up and his son walks in and he said, Dad, Dad, look, I fell and I scratched my elbow and dad was so upset, and he just bounced on the
table. He goes, What do you want me to? Do? I look like a doctor, what do you want me to do?
And the kid looked at his dad and he said, Dad, just say ouch. Just say, ouch. That's all you needed to do, in order to express attention.
First Aid, attention.
That means not only do we love our families, but we are not afraid of expressing that we love them.
No, they say that nowadays. The most difficult words for us to say, or I am sorry. And I love you. We're so afraid to tell each other especially our family members, to say that we love them.
You know how every now and then your wife asks you, do you love me? And subhanAllah who never failed to give a stupid answer? Would I be married to you if I didn't love you? Did I not tell you this 10 years ago? I love you fine. I said Are you happy now I said Are you happy? Are you happy now? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was once asked by a shell of the Allahu anha and she said yeah Rasul Allah, okay for her book early prophet of Allah. What is that your, you know, love towards me, what is it like?
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Your Isha, who are called aka Sarah Isha. It is tight, like a knot. And they say that every now and then she would ask the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, ya rasool Allah gave her how to live up to the Prophet of Allah, how is the not doing and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would say, here come here. It is as strong as it has always been. One time the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is standing. When somebody passes by amongst his companions, somebody passes by the Prophet, peace be upon him was told by one of the people standing next to him, he said, Prophet of Allah, the man that just passed by Prophet of Allah, I
love him. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Allah, Who have you told him that you love him? Prophet of Allah, the Prophet of Allah has been really like go to a person and just randomly say, I love you. Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said either HA HA HA HA HA failure a limb. said if any of you loves their brother said Let it be known to them. You know, I love you Subhan Allah is like music to our ears. Know that we love them. But it is nice for people to hear that they are loved.
Time after giving a similar talk, Chef invited the brothers in attendance is it brothers? Get your phones out. And I want you right now to text your wife that you love her. But there is a catch. He said whatever response you get, you have to read it to all of us.
Everybody gets their phone out. They sent it out to their wives and immediately a phone rings. Our Abdullah Al had telephone a concern.
Woman calls her husband and she tells him that his son has been stolen. She thought that the phone was stolen. Because you know the idea of somebody saying this to her was unheard of.
Don't be afraid.
Don't be afraid of letting the people
that you love, know that you love them?
What good is it, that we have these feelings? What we never expressed it? You know, they say that these types of feelings, never being expressed is like buying a gift, wrapping it, but never presenting it. And every time you see me you say I've got a gift for you. No you don't. If you have not giving it to me, it's not a gift. It only becomes a gift. After you've actually given it.
Don't be afraid of doing that.
Then the last one is appreciation.
this notion that I see the good in you, I see the good that you do. And I am not afraid of pointing this out.
Subhanallah one way or
the other to live a healthier more Bhima usum El jefe as an outfit. You know sometimes my brothers and sisters, we experience what we call emotional starvation.
I'm a therapist. I see a lot of people and when it is couples, usually it is the affection, the attention, the appreciation that is missing,
where we are experiencing emotional starvation.
And that is really sad. Starvation is not only physical, it's not about you know, being malnourished where you did not have enough food or enough drink. Sometimes we are emotionally starving. And when people are emotionally starving, we want to love and we want to be loved. And sadly sometimes we look for love in the wrong places. And unfortunately sometimes we find it and we find it in the wrong place. So what do we want to do? attention,
appreciation, and these are all Prophetic teachings that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam is teaching us these things the Prophet Allah is not afraid to appreciate people. So please Insha Allah, let's get into this habit.
Attention, appreciation, affection. You see your family members appreciate them. Let them know Subhanallah you the best thing that has ever happened to me? Don't be afraid of letting them know that you love them. Morocco Gianni Bucha hola Hey Anna jack on the head to salt Allah joy to Cotulla Wallahi. Anyway, Bucky Fuller have included enamel msgid head because you know people he said I called my wife and I told her that I love her for the sake of Allah. I said Brother, you're not talking to the Imam of the Masjid. There is nothing wrong with saying I love you. the sake of Allah you say to the Imam you said to people, but that is why we are so afraid of saying these things that
we actually have to say it in ways that makes it even sound weird when you do that.
So in sha Allah with these triple A, the hope is that we are not like that spider where we pay so much attention to the skeleton of the house, but not the spirit of the house. May Allah Subhana Allah protect our families. May Allah subhanaw taala protect our children Europa Alameen Akula How will you hide our stuff here Allah honey welcome First off you Rahu in the hula.
hamdu Lillahi wa Kapha are Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah Mustafa er alum and br 30
And Abby Omar Melba Haley,
all in Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam about Muhammad Baddeley narrates a hadith. In it the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says Sharon Nursey OF THE YEAR Corolla. Lee said the worst type of people are those who bring undue restrictions and rigidity upon their families. For all we are Rasul Allah, Man of the Year Pahala, Holy Prophet of Allah, who would be like this, who would be that person that brings undue restriction rigidity upon his family said it is a man when they walk in, such as camera to who for a while, I do goo Hara Baja dim, who had that either ha Roger bajo was done in a suit. So this is a man
When they walk in, his wife is all collected, the children run away, and the servants become invisible. When this person leaves, they said that the people are chill at that point start in a zoo, will they go and they start laughing.
You know, they have a saying.
Some people bring happiness wherever they go.
And some people bring happiness whenever they go. Now imagine this. Imagine that people will be talking and saying that when my dad is in the house, there is so much tension, you can sense it in the air. When my mom is around, everybody's walking on eggshells. When my dad is this, what happened? So much so that our presence now is becoming a source of pain to those who are in our family. My presence, as a father as a husband, is not celebrated. But I am making people walk on eggshells.
Man, you should see it. When my mom and dad around it's like, you know, a fight is about to break any minute. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, That is not how we live. Your own W sallallahu alayhi wa sallam I found supplements the Hadith of the women barely obey your father early. But for whom Allah Allah, Allah Allah. And just to make sure that I let you know that the Hadith regarding a person who's very rigid, some people said that the hadith is weak. Now the Hadees may be weak but the meaning of it is a very sound meaning.
Messina, what happens is, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, in Allah is a harbor, liberate eight in a trailer Allahumma salli wa ala Rasulillah Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, when Allah loves a household, when Allah loves a family, Allah subhanho wa Taala instills gentleness amongst the family members of ERISA. In Allah, either era, the higher on the Elevate, if Allah intends, go for a household, that Allah Subhana Allah puts gentleness amongst the people in that household.
My brothers and sisters, I don't think I've shared anything with you that we did not know before. But sometimes it's good to remind one another attention, appreciation and affection. If we do this, then Insha Allah we can say, we are on the right track that we are in the process of having happy families. May Allah Subhana Allah keep our families happy. May Allah Subhana Allah keep them safe and sound Europa I mean, if any of us are our loved ones are going through difficult times may Allah subhanaw taala ease our pain, if any of us or our loved ones are not feeling well may Allah Subhana Allah and that's all a
full recovery herbal Alameen if any of us or our loved ones have lost the way may Allah subhanaw taala bring us back to his way out