Autism and Stigma Awareness
Channel: Yassir Fazaga
File Size: 22.65MB
Episode Transcript ©
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Oh they will let him initiate on rajim Bismillah R Rahman Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala extrafill Ambia it will occurred in mousseline Shaffir in Missouri maybe you know Habibi or Bill Alameen. Muhammad in salatu wa salam Who are they who are early he was so happy to hear that you've been hearing in Al Hamdulillah Muhammad who want to start you know, who want to start with you who want to study when Rosie bIllahi min surely unforeseen. I would say Tiarna Alinea yes de la Hofer la mobile Allah Houma, Yulin fellow, how do you worship to Allah Allah Allah Allahu la sharika lah know Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who are also a MOBA in the US doccle Hadith
Nikita Allah wa Halal had had you Mohamed in sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, in the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Most Merciful All praises due to Allah. we've ever witnessed that no one is worthy of worship but Allah And we bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is indeed his final messenger, the best of speeches, the book of Allah and the best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. May Allah Subhana Allah make us amongst those who listen to the best of speech, the book of Allah and follow its commandments. And may Allah subhanaw taala make us amongst those who come to know the best of ways the way of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam and make us amongst his followers. Allahumma Amin Allahumma Amin Allah, I mean, your whole Rabona Levana were to suffer while looking reality Jala hola hola. Como piano? What is your own fee, how Aksu who were kulula who our motto for Allah Subhana Allah tells us in Surah Nisa, verse number five, Allah says that addressing the community of the believers, and do not give your property which Allah has made as a means of support for you do not hand it over to those who are feeble minded, however, or zoom, feed them, work through whom clothe them, whoa, Lulu from our Ma rofa. And you should speak to them with a splendid good coined words.
They say that this verse has changed the course of psychology.
This verse has had the most impact on neuro ethics. Neuro ethics, is an interdisciplinary field that deals with the constantly changing functions of the brains that we come to learn about, and the ethical impact on the new knowledge that we are acquiring.
It used to be in the past, that people who have visible disabilities or mental health related issues, it used to be that the belief is that they have evil spirits within them. And that is why they are the way that they are. And some even argue that Medically speaking, the first surgery that was known to mankind is something called Griffin Nation. And that is the process through which people make a hole in the skull of the individual to make way out for the evil spirits to leave that individual. And when that fails, the person is abandoned, they're kicked out of the of the community, because it was understood that if something was wrong, was the way that you were talking
or the way that you were behaving, there must be evil in spirits, evil spirits in you, and that you are not wanted. So this verse comes in, over 1400 years ago, and changes the course by which people see people with these abilities, whether visible or not, are not visible. So today, the second of April, is the International Autism Awareness Day. And awareness is important. Because when we are aware, we behave better. When we are aware, we tend to be more humane, in the way that we approach those who are around us simply because we are better enlightened at this at this point. And specifically, just getting a sense of awareness regarding autism.
We refer to it as a neuro developmental disorder. Why does that matter? See what do you describe something as neuro? It's got nothing to do with mom. It's got nothing to do with dad. And when you speak to people who have to
Dealing with special needs. The tendency, the immediate reaction of the parents is feelings of guilt. What did I do? What did I eat? What did I drink? Where did I go wrong? So people are already feeling guilty. Like one sister came to me once she had this beautiful kid beautiful soul, the daughter had Down syndrome. Now, as you know, sometimes because of the facial appearance of kids with Down syndrome, you can immediately tell that this kid has Down syndrome or is with Down syndrome. So she said, I brought my kid to the masjid sister came to me and she said, she looked at my daughter. And then she looked at me and she said, Are you married to your cousin?
As if? How is this your fault?
See, when people are not aware, the tendency is that we say something stupid,
something cruel when we do that. And when we're not aware, we lead to stigma. And basically, stigma is a mark by which we view others to be less than we are, there is societal stigma, there is communal stigma. And then there is familial stigma. But they all have one thing in common, and that is this individual is less
kids who have autism.
Remember, Autism is a spectrum that we have. Some kids are very, very high functioning, so much so that nobody would suspect they are with autism. And some kids are not functioning at all to the point that they may not even be verbal, social skills are inhibited, and repetitive behavior. But generally speaking, these are the cardinal marks of what it means for a kid to be with autism.
So this father just given you an example of what societal stigma, looks like, this father says, I took my kid to the store. And when we were at the store, they told my kid, he said, one toy, one toy only, that's what you're going to buy one toy only. Consistency is important with these kits, especially when you are trying to set a pattern. So we go to the store. And he said that Mike had finally chose to toys. But he was under so much anxiety, because he needed to pick which one and he just could not make up his mind. And he's getting ready to throw a tantrum. And he was visibly shaken because he can only pick one. And I kept reminding him only one. But my good was just
standing there holding both. So just trying to make sense out of this. So I said, the man says, Let's go to the cashier in the hopes that this would expedite the process. So when we got to the cashier said, there was even more anxiety at that point. And my kid is just he just did not know how to make up his mind. And which one is it going to be? And finally, the cashier decided to enter me in and said, Sir, please, can you move your unruly child out of the way so that we can take care of the rest of the people?
What she was implying is he the man tells his story is that I was a bad parent, and that my parenting skills were not good.
So he said, I ended up buying both toys, because I was just embarrassed.
When people are unaware, they tend to make these remarks. And they tend to make these types of assumptions. Now, they're questioning the parenting and thinking that what just took place was poor parenting. Think about the stigma is
it leads to isolation.
Because there is this sense of shame that people feel. And people make all kinds of assumptions about them. Be the example of this man, that he was told that it was his parenting skills that were poor. Be the example of the sister who had a daughter who has Down syndrome, and somebody looks at her and goes, Are you married to your cousin, as if this is as if this is your fault. The more aware we become,
the better Muslims we become. We are all able to avoid these pitfalls. You may sound religious when you say certain things, but remember, you only sound religious, not necessarily religious. People have told me that others have come to them in a masjid and this is the communal stigma saying that, you know, seeing what is going on with their kid. Some kids Subhanallah repetitive behavior. That is one of the marks of people with autism.
It can either be an action or it can be words that they repeat. This kid disliked to bang on his head. And it was so violent that the family would put boxing gloves to protect him. It got so bad that in addition to the boxing gloves, they would have him wear a helmet. It gets so bad that sometimes they have to handcuff dekat. somebody sees that and says, What did you do for Allah to punish you this way?
Number one, who in the world said that you are the spokesman or the spokeswoman of Allah subhanho wa taala. Number two, what makes you think that Allah Subhana Allah takes joy in these things, but here is the person thinking that they are being religious, they say something so foolish, thinking that they are religious, sounding only religious. Please remember, if our religiosity makes us more rude,
cruel, and judgmental, chances are, we are not worshipping Allah, but we are worshiping our own ego. You may sound religious, but that is not necessarily it does not make what you are doing religious.
Look into how Allah subhanaw taala said, take care of these people.
Make sure that you meet their needs. And then Allah says the words that comes out of your mouth, pay attention to them, because people really do feel because wolves can crush your spirit. What can truly crush your spirits? And that is what Allah Subhana Allah says, What will you learn out of my rofa. And when you speak to them, speak to them with splendid, splendid words,
then have this idea of parents who go through these challenges, just listening to what they have to say. And by no means See, as we're trying to bring an understanding, or we are trying to bring the awareness by no means we are claiming, we know what it means to be a parent, of a child with special needs. This is just an attempt. This is just an attempt, so that we do not practice communal, stigmatization, we do not stigmatize people, in our, in our community, you talk to these parents and say, what's been a challenge for you? What is it? What is it like to be in your shoes, and just listening to some of the things that they have to go through? Some parents would say, We've never
been out as a family before. But what do you miss it? Every time we get invited anywhere, we have to make a decision, who gets to go and who gets to stay? Some said, We've never prayed in Gemma before, because there's got to be somebody always needing to watch the other the other child, some parents who tell me, the thing that scares me most is what is going to happen to my child after I die. So even worried about my own death. It's like after I die, what is going to happen? What is going to happen to my child? See, stigma should never be tolerated. Because the stigma can be deadly. I'm not talking about metaphorically deadly, I'm talking about literally deadly. You always speak about the
Holocaust. And the first thing that comes to people's mind is the Jewish community. And yes, that happened to them. But did you know that prior to Hitler going after the Jews? Did you know that Hitler started with people who had mental retardation and visible disability? There was forced sterilization in the United States here in America 1901 till 1934 over 300,000 people were sterilized against their will or without them knowing these are people who were influenced by eugenics, the idea of the survival of the fittest, so when they would see people and they did not look good, so we don't want these people to have children of their own anymore because that is not
good. So they went after either killing them or sterilizing them. Most common practice was vices ectomy for for men and ovarian litigation for women. We don't want these people to have children anymore, or they would be killed as Hitler did. Hitler went after people with mental retardation, visible disabilities. Then he went after blacks that he went after the gypsies, and then he went after the members of the Jewish community. What happens? Stigma can kill me
literally and metaphorically, when there is a stigma, that leads to isolation. People just don't want to be seen anymore. Because we have told them not necessarily verbally, but by our own behavior, we have told them that what they have is not good. And they ought to be ashamed of brothers who tell me, you don't, yes, I have a special lead child. When we I take my child to the park, my child may be with autism or any other kind of, you know, disability or a different ability, said that the people in the park are kinder to me and my child than the people at the masjid.
That's a disaster.
That is a disaster. What happened? This is what we call stigma within the community.
Brother said, you know, biggest problem has not been the society or the community, the biggest problem has just been my own family, my own family who have decided that they know what caused this, and they just don't care to educate themselves about autism, cerebral palsy, or whatever the case is. So now the stigma is not even what's going on outside. The stigma is what is happening inside my own family, people who refuse to educate themselves about that.
Then you look into Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, who was a living example of this notion of whoa Lulu from our Moreover, they still are members of our community, man, and these people have, because they're different does not mean that they are less the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam goes on an expedition, whom does he leave behind? He leaves Abdullah Al Maktoum, and the man was blind. Everybody knows he was blind. It doesn't mean that he did not know how to run things. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam needed to send somebody to the nasaga of Yemen. Yemen held the biggest Christian population in Arabia at that time. And here is the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam wanting to start a negotiation dialogue that will with them, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam chooses Moraz bingeable. In the Hadith, he worked with Marathi bingeable and Abu Musa Shari all the way to the outskirts of Medina, reminding them and telling them but there is something about Morales. When the people of Sierra describe Murad, they say what can I do I allege Shadi the lodge Lucha Lodge, said that Roz would walk, but he would walk limping. And his limp was extreme, and it was very visible. So wait a minute. Somebody said this is this is bad public relations. Why would you choose somebody with visible disability to do this? See the Prophet
salallahu alayhi wa sallam cared more for what was in his brain and his heart than what visibly you know, God the eye, said Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would do this not only that, I'll be helping erase that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would say to the people hire an anti Bernie worker, if no zero and the whole module and Basu said, let's go and visit this locality called Bernie. Well, if there is a scene mandate, the man was blind. But the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam would call him seeing and this is something strange in the Arabic language referred to as antonyms. I smell a lot where there is one thing that means one thing but also its opposite.
That has had a reflection in the Arab culture as well. A Golfland cave Hello, good flan breaffy young age and age be Alfia.
Before the new age, as yet like Whom are you are Lubin probabilistic shorter with him? So whenever they would give description of a person who is they blind, but yet the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam would say, let's go and see the seeing man.
And they will say that was just, you know, good omens. And also the idea now here is that that's part of an owl in my Wolf, speaking with splendid speaking with a splendid words.
And what we're hoping to do is become better informed. So that when you see some of these kids behaving this way, remember, don't necessarily make assumptions that they yucky, they may be having a bad day. They may not be in a good mood, they might just whatever, do not assume anything. Just do not make any assumption. Brother gets into the bus and his kids are all over the place and he's just looking down looking all confused. And the kids are walking on the bus and it's getting very
dangerous and the people in the boss are just going crazy on somebody decided to take the lead say, Sir, please Can't you see what your kids are doing? Have respect for the rest of us. And dementia accidents. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know, we just came from the hospital. The mother just died. I'm sorry kids come here.
I'll see you want to be that man. That decided to be the one that brings order to the to depose, maybe kind.
Do what Allah Subhana Allah said, Oh no, our motto. If you are about to say something,
say something nice. And sometimes yes, some of these kids may be challenged.
If you don't have anything nice to say. Then it would be best to just keep quiet. We Allah Subhana Allah increases in understanding our parliament, according to how they hide our stuff. Allah Hi, welcome First of all, who in the Hall of
Hamdu lillahi Wa Kafa wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah Hill, Mustafa, while I'm in the car.
And final thing that parents have shared with me, said that sometimes people feel obligated to come and tell me
or pretend to be the spokesman and the spokes women have Allah subhanaw taala meaning that they see my child, and then they immediately want to tell me what is the theological explanation for what is taking place. So what what do you want said, people don't need to say anything. I am a parent, like the rest of them. My kids are like other kids. They are my beautiful gift from Allah subhanaw taala. They may be different, but they're not necessarily less. I don't want their pity. I don't want any extra attention. I just want to be treated like any other parent. And if my kids do, because of what is going on with them, I would wish that the people would just understand, you know, in the Hadith
that we all know of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is leading the Salah, and then all of the sudden everybody's noticing that the Salah is becoming very very, very quick. And after the Salah people asked prophet of Allah the Salah was very quick what happened? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, I heard a child cry, and I knew that his mother would want to attend to him. So what happened? The entire community expedites the salah to accommodate a child.
These are beautiful teachings when we speak about neuro ethics. This is as good as it gets. Our worship of Allah is expedited to accommodate the child. Just let that sink in. How crazy is that? The Prophet of Allah is expediting the Salah, to accommodate a child in the community because they because they are because they are crying.
May Allah Subhana Allah bless all the parents who have children with special needs. And by no means we say that we know what you're going through. But we just want you to know that this is an attempt to understand from Allah and Allah make it easy for you, Europa Allah mean, if any of us or our loved ones are going through difficult times, may Allah ease our pain. If any of us or our loved ones are not feeling well, may Allah grant us a speedy recovery. If any of our loved ones have passed away, may Allah subhanaw taala bless their souls. If any of us or our loved ones have lost the way may Allah Subhana Allah bring us back to his way Europe Alameen May Allah subhanaw taala
extend in our lives to witness the blessings of the month of Ramadan? And if that is the case, may Allah Subhana Allah help us to perform well in the month of Ramadan. Robin? Tina dunya has an internal field so that he has an internal cleaner either not about Allah in Allah Hi Mara will add to and so anyway title torba when hand fascia it will make it available to your local Coronavirus Corolla has got come which guru Harlan and he is it commodity Kulai Akbar Allahu Allah Matos not own welcome Salam