Adversity Does Not Discriminate

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Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Ashraful Ambia. authorial mursaleen Shafi el mas maybe you know Habibi or Bill Alameen Mohammed and Salawat Robbie was Allahu Allahu Allah early he was so happy he tore up in a poor hearing in Al Hamdulillah Muhammad who wanna stir you know who want to start a funeral who want to study will not always be learning Mysuru the unforeseen I will say, Dr. Molina Maria de la Hofeller medulla OMA, you will follow her the Allahu Allah Ilaha illa Allah who had the whole luxury color, or no Mohammed and sallallahu alayhi wa sallam or Abu Devorah solo, a MOBA ad for in the US doccle Hadith the Kitab Allah will Hyrule howdy. How do you Mohammed

in sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, in the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Most Merciful All praises due to Allah. We bear witness that no one is worthy of worship but Allah And we bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is his final messenger. The best of speech is a book of Allah. And the best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. May Allah Subhana Allah make us amongst those who listen to the best of speech, the book of Allah and follow its commandments. And may Allah Subhana Allah make us amongst those who come to know the best of ways, the way of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and make us amongst his followers Allahumma

Amin Allahumma Amin Allahumma Amin.

What the Quran does

the Quran does this so beautifully. The Quran warns to the believers to engage in life,

but in order to engage with life, properly, appropriately,

rightly, wisely, what the Quran does is that it tells us about the reality of life.

So in over 50, places in the Quran, you would find this term a higher to dunya. This worldly life, sometimes translated as this lowly life.

And the purpose of this is in order to engage with life. You must know what life is all about. Why is that? Because they say, the way you see life determines how you live life. So if you believe that life is a race, we're all racing, the most important thing for you in life will be speed.

If you believe that life is one big party, the most important thing in life to you would be fun. So the way we see life determines how we live life.

So what the Quran does, the Quran brings that awareness to the believer say, in 50 different places. Let us tell you about life. So that when you see life for what it really is, you are able to engage with it in the wisest of ways.

And remember what we said before, and we will repeat this all the time. The Quran is a very brave book, read by a lot of cowards because the Quran is not afraid of telling it like it is. The Quran really does not care, as they say facts don't really care about our feelings, or aren't we'll just say it like it is. The wise ones are going to heat from it. May Allah Subhana Allah make us amongst them. You're a barrel. I mean, I'm listening to this and like the rest of you become aware of what took place two days ago, very close by here, but no more than 10 miles from where we are eight miles. To be even more specific. Somebody goes into Kroger's shoots people by today. I think that

the there are 15 people of being shot that hamdulillah from what I've been told, all are in stable condition and we've really not not really focused on the details of what happened there. But but there is this this this phenomena that is taking place. A lot of people who are not satisfied with life and for whatever reason somebody gets fired and they believe that what they need to do is go out there and take down as many people as possible. Absolutely just very juvenile

till very recently, and like I said, this is really not about the case. We don't know. I personally do not know more on the specifics of this, of this case. But that just got me thinking. A lot of people have been talking about the idea of mental fragility. Hush, hush, nfcu

It just seems like this idea of everybody's got something to complain about, constantly speaking about things that are just normal parts of life. We complain about it as it is the biggest catastrophe in life.

This woman, she tells the story, that's how this whole thing started is. She said that my 15 year old daughter came to me and she was just hysterically crying. And she was just unconsolable. She was uncontrollable, and said, Here I am thinking of the biggest catastrophe has happened to my daughter, and I'm trying to calm her down and 15 minutes later, calm down. And I said, What's going on honey? She said, my friends, what happened? They went to the movies without me.

Are you serious?

But remember, this is not to this is not to devalue, or make fun of people emotional experiences are always they will never make fun of people because of that. But what we are addressing here is this idea of mental fragility. I shouldn't have seen

that idea of mental resilience is never where where the slightest inconveniences, however remotely, it may be messes up people, the coddling of America as they speak it today. It said that in the past, this professor is talking about he said that I used to teach in the 1960s. And he said maybe two of my students would really have serious mental health issues is their arm teaching nowadays, and 1/3 of my students are having mental health issues. What is going on?

Remember, again, please remember this is not about under estimating or undervaluing the importance of this, keeping in mind that this is the month of September and September is mental health awareness Prevention Month. This is serious. It is so serious that suicide is the second leading cause of death for people between the ages of 10 and 34.

How?

How does just start comprehending this, it is the second leading cause of death for people between the ages of 10 and 34. Are you serious?

It is the 10th over all cause of death for people in the United States.

That is one person taking their lives away every 14 minutes

76% of the people who die by suicide, or men

80% of the people who die by suicide have either an undiagnosed or an untreated mental illness. The most common amongst them is suicide.

This is serious. It's a serious issue. So we're not here to downplay or undermine this idea. But what we're trying to look here is that what the Quran does, is that the Quran builds the readers so that they treat life as it really is so that they engage with life, as it really is. Just going to give you an example

where Allah subhanaw taala tells us that this life can potentially be beautiful, beautiful does not necessarily mean trouble free. That is just not that is not it. In fact, the Quran tells us in numerous places in the Quran, led to blow Nephi Anwar Lika Morphe, unforeseen Narrabri and no conditioner ray will hiree fitna that we shall try you by means of good, by means of bad, you will be tested in life, in yourselves in your wealth in your offsprings. Part of life is that you will be tested

part of life is that by virtue of being a human being, you have got to go through some kind of suffering.

Why does the Quran Why does the Quran do that? Allah the Quran is such a beautiful book. Well, law he my brothers and sisters, is remember what we said it's an easy book. But it does not mean that it's effortless. So why does the Quran insist that there's going to be suffering in life for all of us who are sitting here you ever lost a loved one

Maybe you went through a miscarriage, abortion, infertility, divorce. Maybe you lived through a natural disaster. Maybe a loved one is diagnosed with something that is serious. Maybe you lost some investment. Maybe you had a heartbreak, maybe you've been diagnosed yourself with something serious. Most people would have raised their hand, if not all people would have raised their hand for one of these. Why is this? The point here is that adversity does not discriminate.

Adversity does not discriminate. We all have to go through it.

Why does the Quran say that? So that nobody feels like a victim?

So that the idea of why me has not even crossed the mind of a believer? Why is that? That is just part of life. That is part of life. When we define what mental health is they say, What does it mean to be mentally healthy? One of these definitions is the ability to deal with normal stressors of life.

The ability to deal with normal stressors of life, normal stressors of life, people. Oh my I'm so stressed, people get offended if you question whether they should be stressed or not. We take it like a badge of honor, I am so stressed. Please don't misunderstand this is not to belittle the experience of people who are really going through stress Wallahi that's not the point. So part of it is a wise person what would do is that once the Quran tells us that this is what's going on that suffering is part of life. So this idea of feeling like a victim is not something that believers engage in. So what do you do? First one is acceptance. Accept this as part of life, you will be

tested. You don't get to choose your test, but you get to choose how you react to the test that has been given to you. So acceptance. In the Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would come when somebody passed away, he would come and he would console them. What does he say? Lila Hema Wallah who Houma aka collusion and the hobby McCullough phosphate was dataset, said to Allah belongs what He has given to Allah belongs what he has taken from Okaloosa in and the hobby mcdata. And everything that Allah subhanaw taala he does by do, measure, hospitals dataset, so be patient, awaiting your reward from Allah subhanaw taala. Because there are certain challenges in life, the

only option that you have, if you're wise is acceptance.

Acceptance. So the Quran tells us this so that you are in that right mindset, acceptance, don't ask, Why me? Why not me? Why would it be the other person?

You know, in Christianity, they have a prayer. And this is one of the prayers that a Muslim can say I mean to it's called the serenity prayers. And basically what you do is that you ask, What do you pray for? You say, Oh, God, he said, give me the strength, to change the things that I can

and the serenity to accept the things that I cannot and the wisdom to differentiate between them.

Allah He does a lovely to Allah, he does a lovely prayer. Allah give me the strength to change the things that I can, I mean, give me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, I mean, and grant me the wisdom to differentiate between them Hola, hola, ami. Why is that? Because he sometimes when we try to accept things that we can change, or try to change things that we must accept, that is a recipe for disaster

that becomes a recipe for disaster. So number one is this idea of acceptance.

Number two, then what do you do?

See, when they speak about people who are resilient,

they say that they found out by means of research they say people who are resilient once they do the acceptance, they focus on what they can do. Everything else that they have no hands in or control over. They just downplay that part.

You know who taught us this? Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Your Excellency Hadith Abu Hurayrah el momento Kawi hirundo

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by the Mendham howdy sequel in the Bissell Allahu alayhi wa sallam ich harus. Allah mind* is there in Billahi wala digest, he said that indeed a believer who is strong, is more favored by Allah than a believer who is weak. Now it does not say in what kind they are strong or in what way they are weak, it could be financially strong, physically strong, mentally strong, whatever the case is, but those who have trained themselves and became strong in whatever it is said these people are more beloved by Allah subhanho wa taala. And then he said Istanbul ALLAH,

seek help from Allah subhanho wa Taala it hurts Allah Marian Frank, be keen. Invest focus your effort on that which will benefit you.

Stand biller seek the help of Allah. Well, I just do not become incapacitated. Mesh loon.

You literally become paralyzed. You become incapacitated, later I just also said that do not become indecisive. The end result is the same. You procrastinate you lazy, you are indecisive. The end result is it is inaction.

A believer

is by virtue of learning of our deen the teachings of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam promote this idea of mental resiliency, mental toughness. And please remember, this is not to blame. This is not to guilt, people who are going through mental health related issues. We said this before, a believer can be very tender in their heart, very troubled in their mind does not take away from the fact that they are good strong Muslims Wallah, it does not. It just add the pain that they're carrying, is just too heavy for them to bear at this at this point. And if any of us or our loved ones are going through this May Allah Subhana Allah grant us all and them a speedy recovery or

approval. I mean,

what the Quran does, though, that the Quran warns believers to avoid these things.

Last point, as parents, what they saying is that nowadays, the parenting style that most of us are engaged in, literally create young people who are mentally fragile, easily broken.

There is, you know, we never use the single or single factor approach. It's never one single thing, but they're talking about different things. So much so that in some research, they say that it's social media, talking about what happened when Facebook came in 2005, you had to be a, a college student, by 2006, you had to be 13 by 2007. You're an 11 year old kid who can just lie and then it was open. And so what happened, especially they say, for young girls, you know, people put stuff on social media. And we are awaiting the input, the way that people are going to react to us. The picture that I posted this that I put on, and when we do not find that type of approval, oh, it's

PTSD at that point. Because somebody did not like my picture. Somebody did not do this, or I got bullied on this. And again, please remember, this is not about undermining the experience of people. So what they're saying is this, what we parents are doing sometimes is that we are doing what we call emotional, Tylenol. What does that mean? And that is, you cover the pain without really addressing the big issues. And again, not to compare. Some people are in this room with us, they would speak about the tough times that they went to us gets lost their parents in a very young age went through a natural disaster. Some have witnessed war, some did this, but you know what? They

just came out hamdullah they came out well. And again, please remember this is not about blaming other people. But the idea here is that there is so much and what they say here in this research is parents who over protect their children. What we are doing is that we are literally making young kids who are potentially melas pantalla, protect them all potentially going to become mentally fragile, deprive them, depriving them of experiences, making sure that we are there every time making said that look will be best. If we create that

At a physical safe environment, but also allowing room for kids to grow the helicopter parenting, where we are hovering over them all the time protecting them from this making sure they don't do that. Look, man in the long run, if you have good now may make you feel like an accomplished parent, but pay attention in the process. Am I depriving my kids from growing up from learning from experiencing? Or what is what is going on in this in this process? Well, like I said, you know, what the Quran wants us to do is get to know what life is all about. So that when we are engaged with life, that a believer is aware of what life is all about, so that we engage with it in the wisest of

ways. In the process, the hope is that we build the tenacity, the ability, the skills, where we are able to engage with life. May Allah subhanaw taala increases in understanding our ultimate Apolo Holyhead or stop for Allah Hello, welcome First off

Al hamdu Lillahi

wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah Mustafa or alum and be a third Hector

aqui said suicide is a serious issue.

suicide amongst Muslims is also a serious issue.

And just to say it upfront, in our deen suicide is haram. We don't play the role of God in you know, we bring our life to an end. We don't we don't do that. While I talk to you. I'm fully committed and Allah How can I become Rahim? And slay not yourself? Indeed, Allah subhanaw taala is the most is the Most Merciful. That part is, is a non negotiable.

What we want to do is, every time we speak about mental illness, the goals are very clear. Number one, we want to fight the stigma. See if we constantly repeat in our massages, that you know what if you're a good Muslim, you can never experience depression. Brothers and sisters, that's a lie. You can be a good Muslim, a very committed believer, yet you experienced these things. The problem with a stigma is that it stops people from people who really need help from getting the help that they need. Because we are engaged in what we call blame the victim theology. If you're depressed, it must be your fault.

You know what, who wants who wants to be told that, too? That's not true. Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam tells us it's not true. Now Isobel McMenamin him meanwhile has an in wala na sobbing wala was having said that anytime a believer experiences anxiety, they experience grief, they experience worthiness they experience weariness, so that the process that I was talking about the believer, I believe it can potentially experience these things. So number one is fight the stigma. Number two in our masajid in our places, public places, we need to provide a safe place where judgment is not what we do. Quantity. The worst type of rudeness is rudeness that is religiously rooted because the

person who is rude and they're motivated by religiosity. They believe that what they're doing is actually godly. What they're doing is divine. And that's not right. And that's why they say if your religiosity is making you rude, cruel, and judgmental, chances are you're not worshiping Allah, but you're worshiping your own ego.

Because that's not what religiosity is supposed to do to us. A young man is brought to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam several times because he's drunk. He's an alcoholic, a companion of the Prophet sallallahu, who is alcoholic, he's been paraded in the masjid and people are slapping him left and right and somebody decides to go religious on him and says, learn how to Allahu Ali, maximize trouble, Homer. May the curse of Allah be on him? How often does he drink?

And then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam stood up

for the alcoholic

and that's nice man. He stood up for him, stood up to him, stood up to that man that was going to religious and stood up to defend the alcoholic and he said that Al Anon in Jorge Bula Rasulullah said

octopus in mind, this young man said, I know him. He loves Allah and His Messenger, but he's drunk. I know. He loves Allah and His Yeah, but he's drunk if he loves Allah and His Messenger, how's he drunk? How's he an alcoholic? Because believers can be very tender in their heart be weak in their mind.

So we want to create a safe place where people, if they choose to share this with us, the point is not to blame. The point is not to judge. But the point is to give support, finally,

must provide a safe place in our homes, for people to talk freely about the way that they're feeling.

You know, one thing about the people who die by suicide, undiagnosed or untreated mental illness. What they say is that most of these people, they want to reach out to people, sometimes they don't know how sometimes they're too tired. Sometimes they're too depressed, and sometimes they're just too scared. What we can do is, provide a safe place for people to talk to us. Make it normal, that in our gatherings in our families, that feelings are not avoided. See many times we speak about, brush your teeth, wash your face, clip your nails, brush your hair, take a shower, doing a wonderful job in taking care of our physical well being. What about our mental well being? That's got to be

part of the conversation. asking people how they're feeling, not physically asking people how they are doing, not just physically, but providing that safe space for people to just be was so beautiful to hear the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when Companions would come to him and say arrows Allah in the

Prophet of Allah, I've got anxiety, Prophet, Allah have got worries, somebody is not doing well. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would reach out with reach out to these women. That's beautiful man. So please, Inshallah, work on normalizing creating that safe place for people to be and I leave you with this. One time a young girl, client of mine went to her dad and she said, Dad, I'm feeling depressed dad's lamps on the table, and he said, depression is not a word that we use this family.

Two weeks later, the girl is cutting herself.

See, as a good father, I know that man, he was a really, really good father. What he meant is that our family is too good to be to have a family member that is that is depressed. But see when when people don't find people to listen to them. What they do is that they resort to coping skills. And sometimes the coping skills that we choose are poor coping skills. They're not good coping skills, and we want to prevent that. And the way that we do this is by creating the safe space at home. May Allah Subhana Allah keep us all safe and sound European Parliament. May Allah Subhana Allah grant us good mental health as well as physical health. If any of us or our loved ones are not feeling well

may Allah subhanaw taala grant them speedy recovery. If any of us or our loved ones are going through difficult times may Allah subhanaw taala ease our pain, if any of our loved ones have passed away May Allah Subhana Allah bless their souls Europa Alameen Robina attina dunya hasenhuttl has something cleaner either but not about Allah in Allah mobile Android so anyway eater it will CORBA in hand fascia it will move very well but you're looking to the Coronavirus kulula is called comb which guru holla and I'm here is it Kamala Akbar Allahu Allah Mata snoring welcome Salam

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Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah Salam Alikum whare. Law

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Five o'clock

530. Not to Sunday.

So, just a few announcements insha Allah. So we have the weekly soccer today at 530. And then of course on Sunday as well. For other programs that we have got going on is conversation is today at 7pm tonight at 7pm Inshallah, and then tomorrow, the girls who gathered program is restarting at 5:30pm. The sisters Holika is also resuming. It's going to be virtual on Sunday at 12pm. And that will be with the man for key inshallah. And then we also have the morals and behaviors youth program, the one that we're doing with different masajid that's going to be online on zoom at 12pm for the guys and 1pm for the girls, and then virtual Sunday School is starting up this Sunday as

well. From 10am to 1pm. If you want to register for that, you can email education at Memphis Islamic center.org

And lastly we're also looking for Quran teachers if anybody's interested you can come to Imam for ki Inshallah, if you're not able to get up to him you can come to me and I'll connect you inshallah. So we're looking on teachers for the Quran program. So if you're interested or if you know anybody interested please let us know.