Why Do We Experience Pain In Life?

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Yasmin Mogahed

Channel: Yasmin Mogahed

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The first thing we have to understand before we talk about transforming a broken heart. But not only that, but transforming through a broken heart. Right? So I'll explain what I mean by that. But the first thing we have to understand is why do we experience pain in life? Because this is one of the hardest questions to answer. You know, and a lot of people get lost in that question, why is this happening to me? Or why did this have to happen? You know, it's not fair. You know, we sometimes get stuck in the why, right? And when we get stuck in that, why we can't move forward. So I think it's very important that we have an understanding of what cane is and why do we experience pain? First

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and foremost, we know from an Islamic perspective, we know as believers that this life is not perfect that this life is not Jenna. And rather, this life is a is a period of a temporary period of test for us. Now, when we say that this life is a test, we also should not misunderstand that word because sometimes when people hear, you know, when they learn the idea that this life is a test, but then they think that it's a test in the sense of

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life, like like a professor tests you right? So when a professor tests you, he or she gives you a test, steps back doesn't give you any help, and doesn't know how you're going to do right until they see the test. Well, Allah subhanaw taala his tests are not like that. Number one, and this is essential, is that Allah Subhana Allah, Allah is with us in our tests, Allah does not go away while we're being tested and just leave us to ourselves. The only time we are left to ourselves during a hardship is if we leave Allah subhana wa Tada. If we close the door on Allah subhana wa tada if we distance ourselves from Allah, but Allah will never leave us, unless we choose to leave Allah

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subhana wa Tada. So the the first sort of,

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like unlearning, that we have to do when I understand the idea of a test is that Allah doesn't leave you in your test, just for you to depend on yourself. And then he steps back and sees what you're going to do. Rather, Allah subhanaw taala is with us in that test. And without the help of Allah subhana wa, tada, absolutely no one, no one could ever pass this test, nobody could be successful without the help of Allah subhanaw taala. So the first mistake, when we when we, when we're dealing with a broken heart, when we're dealing with pain, is that we depend on ourselves. This is the first mistake that people make even very religious people, even very spiritual people, even very

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practicing people will sometimes misunderstand the idea of being tested, and think that they have to depend on themselves. So many people will harden up, this is also one of the coping mechanisms that people will employ in order to sort of deal with the test. So what they'll do is they'll harden up, they'll, they'll depend on themselves, they'll, you know, they'll, you know, they'll be like, Okay, this is a test, I can't show any emotion, I have to be strong, right. And, of course, the false definition of strong usually means I have to feel nothing, I have to show no emotion, I have to be stoic about this. Otherwise, I'm not being patient. So these are all concepts, I covered more in

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depth in the course. But the idea here is that one of the biggest mistakes that we make, and one of the the main reasons why we actually cause further suffering to ourselves, is that we depend on ourselves when we are going through our difficulties. We think that Allah is testing me and therefore I need to depend on myself, I need to harden up, you know, there's this idea of sub being equated with a heart hardness, right? That I don't cry, I don't show sadness, I don't show emotion. These are all false concepts of sub. And so to understand that actually, number one, Allah is with us in our hardship that the test itself, we are not left to ourselves unless we leave Allah subhanaw

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taala