Channel: Yasmin Mogahed
Series: Yasmin Mogahed - Serenity
Assalamu alaikum This is Yes meanwood ahead and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy radio. Today we are asking that sort of golden question, which I think most people have asked at some point in their life. And that is, what is the secret to happiness? It's a question that you can find countless answers to in books, you know, and self help books and you know, you know, lots of different types of inspirational speakers. A lot of people have a lot of different opinions about this question. But today, I want to ask this question to you and I want to discuss this question from from a perspective, from from from the lens of Islam, the Islamic perspective, and then
overall, what what you know, overall, what is the secret to happiness, I want inshallah, to hear from you. in the chat box, we will also be taking live calls today, inshallah Tada, but to begin to talk about the any actually any, any topic, we have to first define it. And in order to talk about happiness, it's very important that we first define what is happiness, I think one of the confusions that often happen is that there are different types of happiness is in, there's the happiness, what we would call the sort of physical type of happiness. And then there's the internal type of happiness, every organ of the body has a certain need, and in order for that Oregon to be happy, it
needs to have that need fulfilled. So for example, the, the mind is happy, once it's the mind is stimulated, the stomach is happy, when the stomach is fulfilled, is full, when it has food, and, and so on the the ears are happy, when they listen to something pleasant, the eyes are happy, when they see something beautiful.
And similarly, the heart also feels happiness, when it is fulfilled. So the question we have to ask is, what is happiness? And what type of happiness? Do we consider happiness? What type of happiness are we running after? And when you look at, for example, the difference between a human being and an animal, you'll find that for an animal happiness is the physical happiness, happiness is having enough to eat happiness is is the, you know, just being physically satisfied. Unfortunately, a lot of human beings live in that same way, or define happiness and pleasure in that same way. And Allah subhanaw taala has compared you know, some human beings to animals. In fact, a cattle will not kill,
and I'm Balham, adult, only Allah subhanaw. taala is saying that those are, they are like the cattle, may they are more a stray. And and if you think about what it is, no,
an animal doesn't have anything else, really to live for other than eating, and sleeping, and reproducing. And that's how an animal lives. But a human being has a higher, higher level of happiness that it can reach. If a human being only strives for the physical happiness, the same type of happiness that an animal does, and it just ends there, then that human being becomes like an animal, but even more possibly even more a stray, because that's all an animal can do. Whereas a human being has more potential. And if we're not fulfilling that potential, then we become even lower than the animals. An animal is obeying Allah subhanaw taala, in what it's doing when it's
eating or sleeping or reproducing. Whereas when when a human being lives in that same way, we are not fulfilling the purpose of our creation. And so the question we have to ask then, you know, what, what, once you define happiness, and you define those different types of happiness, event brings us to the happiness of the heart, the happiness, the internal happiness. So if every Oregon must have its fill in order to be fulfilled and to be happy, we want to look at the essence of happiness. is is is that of the heart, the happiness of the heart.
Now there is no amount of food or, you know, listening to us, you know, certain sound
that's going to fulfill the needs of the heart because the needs of the heart are different than the needs of the eyes, or the needs of the ears, or the needs of the stomach. And so when we think that we might be happy because we ate, you know, a really wonderful chocolate cake, really, that's the happiness of the stomach. But the happiness of the heart can only come through one means and that's by nourishing the heart, with the only food that nourishes the heart and Allah soprano without it tells us that the only food that nourishes the heart is the remembrance of him. Unless pannacotta says alambic, related in nicolaou, indeed, in the remembrance of God, do the hearts find its man,
that peace and that satisfaction, that true happiness only comes in the remembrance of God. If you live your life, and you're distant from Allah subhanaw taala, or you're distant from the remembrance of God, you won't be able to experience that true happiness, as Allah subhanaw taala says, tells us in nakoda end, that when when Auradon decree for in Allah who may shorten longer, and sort of bow Allah subhanaw taala says, Whoever turns away from my remembrance, for him is a life that is narrowed down and miserable life may shut them banca. This is a life of unhappiness, a life a narrow, miserable life. And Allah is telling us here that in one in one area, Allah is telling us
the the only source of true happiness which is the vicar, the remembrance of Allah subhanaw taala and the other ayah, Allah is telling us what happens to those people who turn away from the remembrance of Allah. Oftentimes, we have this idea that, if I don't remember Allah in this life, you know, I kind of I'm going to pay for it later, right? That if I'm not obeying a law, if I'm not remembering a lot from being heedless, of my relationship with my Creator, I'm going to pay for it later. You know, it's kind of like play now. And I'll pay later. It's the whole idea of the credit card, right, we would just use the card, and we worry about paying later even if we don't really
have the money to pay. And so we think that you know, we're gonna play now and have all this fun now, but we're only going to have to pay for it later, meaning in the Hereafter, but this is actually not true. In fact, the the payment or the the punishment of not remembering God actually starts now it starts here it starts in this life, as Allah subhanho data says, That woman odder than decree for in Allah who may shut on longer, whoever turns away from my remembrance, for him is a miserable life here as well here before the Hereafter, that in this life before the next it's, it's, it's, it's an illusion, the the type of you know, the idea of pleasure that we have that's sold,
right that's sold in ADS that's sold all around us. It's, it's, it's that if you really, really study and you look at the type of happiness, the type of pleasure that really is being sold, in, in, in movies, and in songs, and in ads, and billboards, you'll find that it's only the physical type of happiness, the physical type of pleasure, basically the animalistic pleasure, you look at something like the ad for Coca Cola, and it says, open happiness. So the the message here is that by drinking Coke, you'll be happy. What kind of happiness can you get from drinking a coke will at best, maybe the happiness of the stomach, right? I mean, cuz coke tastes pretty good. The happiness of the
stomach, you know, your mouth might be happy, your stomach might be happy. You know, you might not be thirsty anymore for a little bit, or maybe get more thirsty because of the sugar. Who knows.
So that's at best the type of happiness that one could get. So what's being sold here is the idea. So every, it's not just they're not just selling a product, but they're selling ideas, they're selling concepts. The concept that's being sold here is that physical happiness is ultimate happiness. Because because it just says open happiness. And so the idea is if you're physically fulfilled or if you have physical pleasure, that that will make you happy. inshallah, we will take a short break now, and when we return, we will open up the lines and inshallah, share your thoughts on discussion.
question of what is the secret to happiness
Assalamu alaikum This is Yasmin Mujahid and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy radio, we are talking today about the golden question of what is the secret to happiness. And we, we have talked first about the definition, of course, before you can talk about a concept, before you can discuss a concept you need to define it. And essentially, there are different forms of happiness, every organ of the body needs to be fulfilled, in order for it to feel happy, and to experience pleasure. And the stomach has its own need in order to experience pleasure, the ears, the eyes of the mind. And the heart also has its food and also has its need in order for it to
experience pleasure and to experience happiness. And as we are told by Allah subhanaw taala, there is only one type of food or type type of need, that can feel the heart and that can feed the heart. And that is the remembrance of Allah subhanaw taala then that also brings us to the opposite of that fill in the opposite of that pleasure, what happens then to the heart, what happens then to the human heart when it does not have that need fulfilled, and, and you know, what we look at sofa where Allah subhana wa tada says, woman orthodontically for another who may shut ananka, whoever turns away from my remembrance, and for him is a narrow, miserable life, my shuttle, Blanca, we we look at
our lives, oftentimes, and we feel this sort of narrowness. Internally, we might feel that, that emptiness or that lack of pleasure, even if the body is has pleasure, right, even the butter stomach may be full. And you know, the ears are happy, the eyes are happy, everything, you know, the physical needs might be fulfilled, but there's still something missing. And when we feel that way, oftentimes we don't know why. And what happens what usually human beings do, is they try to seek fill other types of fill other types of happiness. In, in, and in order to fill that, that that emptiness of the heart. So this is why we find the tendency in us humans to run after things to fill
us. You know, why do we get caught up in drugs or alcohol? Why do we get caught up? And have these obsessive types of relationships with people or even with our jobs, with our careers, with money itself? Why do we end up having these very unhealthy attachments, ultimately, we're trying to find that happiness of the heart, trying to fill that emptiness, that that's inside of us. And that emptiness cannot be filled in any other way, except in the remembrance of Allah subhanho data, as is the statement of imminent Tamia who said that, taking a heart, taking the vicar away from the heart is like taking a fish out of water. What happens to a fish that comes out of the water is not only
does it eventually die, but it's this very painful sort of suffocation that happens to the fish. And this is what happens to the human heart. When when a person lives their life, where God is not part of the equation, God, you know, only in a very superficial way is God part of the equation. Sometimes we live snam we live our religion, we live our lives, in a way where, where our understanding is very ritualistic and very superficial, in a sense, where we might be physically praying, or fasting are doing kind of the ritualistic things of our faith. But God is really not part of the equation, in at any deep level in our lives. We live our lives how we want, that's not
what we talk about. That's not what we think about. And ultimately, when I get up in the morning, and I think, how am I going to live my life today? How am I going to spend my day? What am I going to do? How am I going to dress? How am I going to act? What am I going to say? We do we always have a reason we always have a motivation? And the question is what is our motivation if our motivation, you know, our motivation is going to be that that thing that we're really, really focused on, most of the time, it has nothing
to do with Allah Subhana, WA Tada, he doesn't, you know, there's this research that that one author did, who wrote a book called landscapes of the soul. And basically what this what this man did is he went through and interviewed people from all different faiths, who he found across the board, all different, you know, faiths, all different religions, he found across the board that people that people said they believed in God, they had this belief, but it actually had no bearing on how they live their lives, that it wasn't actually relevant. And this was not, you know, restricted to just one religion. But but it was across the board all different denominations of Christianity and
Judaism and Buddhism and all all the way across the board. And, and so we find this tendency in in Muslims as well, that that we we say, we believe in Allah subhanaw taala, we say la ilaha illa Allah. And we, we may say it many times a day for praying, just just the fact that we're praying, we say we love and follow the prophets, I send them. But ultimately, it has no bearing on how we actually choose to live, on what we choose to buy and not buy and what we choose to wear and not wearing what we choose to say and how we say it, and how we act, and what are our priorities. And what we're running after, ultimately, has nothing to do with Allah subhana wa Tada. As a result of
that, we end up starving the heart We starving the soul because we are not remembering Allah subhanaw taala in our lives, at any, in any at any deep level. And and this is a, you know, remembrance of Allah, the vicar of Allah subhanaw taala can be in many forms, not just on the tongue, but also the limbs can remember Allah when we're praying, you know, we're remembering a lot of data with our bodies, when we, when we're fasting, when we're giving a cat, there's, you know, every part of our body can, can can be in an inactive worship. And so when we're not remembering him, in these in, you know, in these different ways, we are actually starving the heart, from from
inshallah, we can open up the lines shortly to your calls, we want to hear from you. The number again,
to call in is 714-988-8182. I want I want to hear for you, from you, how how do you answer this question of what is the secret to happiness? And, and, and, and more from a from a practical level, maybe from from your own experience? What have you learned from your own experience about happiness, what has has been the secret to happiness for you in your life, and you know, sometimes people,
sometimes people have points in their life where things turn around, and it may go in one direction or another, Allah subhanaw taala says,
in the law, Alejandro, maybe Coleman had, who may be enforcing him, indeed, God does not change the condition of a people until they change what is inside themselves. This is a very powerful statement, you know, and it can go both ways that Allah does not change our external condition, until we first change our internal condition that applies to both directions. So our condition externally does not change from bad to good.
Unless we change what is inside ourselves, if there's something about our condition that we do not like. And we want to change the the formula for that is to is to change internally, but it's also works the other way as well. And that is that if it our condition, if it's good, it will not change too bad unless we change internally from good to bad. So there is a direct relationship inside. There's a direct relationship between what we look like inside and what we look like outside and when I when I say look like outside, I don't mean you know that you know how attractive our body is or isn't. What I mean is that what we what our hearts look like inside is going to be manifest in
how we act, and in also how we view the world and in also how the world is to us. So our actual reality, our actual situation, our actual circumstance is affected by who how we are inside in the law, you hydro maybe Coleman had the title maybe and for him a law does not change the condition of a people externally until they change what is inside of themselves. And and Subhanallah you will find this to be true even in how you see the world. You'll notice that the people who are inside of themselves very
Maybe dishonest that they will see the world as being dishonest when you inside of yourself or have are holding on to hatred and envy and and these types of diseases, you will you will see the world through that lens and you'll see the world as being a very hateful place as a very ugly negative place and everybody is is you know kind of out to get you and everybody's jealous of you, it's an indication of what you are inside. Similarly, when inside it's clean, you see the world as clean, you see, you assume the best of people, you you, you know that this is the world that you experience is very much a reflection of what you are inside. Now inshallah, I'm going to share some of the
reflections in the chat box. The lines again, are still open, we asked you to call share your experiences, your questions and your reflections. someone writes, I feel calmer, I feel more at peace, I hope one day that I will find a person to make me more happier, but my happiness will not depend on him. But on him capital H. The idea is that first you know that they'll have the last sheet she feels happier and she's she's looking for a a companion who can then you know, increase that happiness inshallah, I think you you make a good point when you say that your happiness will not be dependent on him. But it's a very, very
fine line. And I think it's it's something that a mistake that a lot of us fall into, of depending on another person for our happiness, and of course happiness, only dependent on our relationship with Allah subhana wa Tada, we have a caller on the line is Sam Aleykum Selam Aleykum. Okay, inshallah, that will hold the hold on that until we can get the call through. But but in speaking about the, the, you know, one one really important aspect of happiness to focus on is where does happiness come from? But also, you know, what are we dependent on for happiness, I think one of the biggest mistakes we make as human beings is we depend on the creation for happiness. And you know,
when we say the creation, that includes other people, that includes money, that includes material things, anytime we are dependent on the creation for happiness, we will never really be happy. And our so called happiness will always be unstable. The definition of how I feel or who I am, or my self worth should never be in the hands of the creation, because of course, that's something unstable. And so it is a very good point and thank you for sharing that. mailout someone else writes, Masha, Allah Laila, I'm glad to hear inshallah, you will get the perfect man, in quotes, with all his shortcomings, but perfect for you, sooner than you know it. One thing that I want to
emphasize about the the search for the perfect
it's so important to understand why it is that we get married, why it is that we look for companionship. Ultimately, if we understand companionship in the right light, then it will always be good for us inshallah, to Allah. The the mistake of of that we make in terms of looking for companionship is that we tend to think that we will find another person another, you know, that we will look in the companion for completion of so for example, this idea that I'm not complete, until I find x, y, and z companion to complete me, that in and of itself, is I think it's a mistake, because our completion comes from Allah subhanho data. If you're seeking your companion, in order to
fill you inside, then you will be disappointed because the only thing that can fill you inside is Allah subhana wa Tada. Also, the the idea that you seek marriage or you seek a spouse, you seek companionship, in order to make you happy. Now, I'm going to visit there's a subtle point here, that the ultimate purpose of seeking companionship should never be to make me happy. And I know this is, you know, it's something we were like, programmed to believe that we know the reason that I have this relationship is to make me happy. It's very dangerous, because that should not be the ultimate purpose. It definitely, happiness is definitely a pot you know, a
sort of a fringe benefit, right. inshallah, to Allah, it's a gift from Allah subhanaw taala. But the ultimate purpose of companionship and especially marriage is actually to make you a better person. And that's a that's a much that is much much different than to make me happy. If I'm if I'm getting married.
For this person fulfill me, then I'm in for, you know a lot of disappointment potentially. But if I'm getting married knowing that the purpose of the marriage is actually to help complete my Deen to complete my Deen is different than to complete me. And that's where a lot of people I think get confused about the Hadith that says that marriage is you know, when when you get married you complete half your deen completing half your deen is not the same as completing half your yourself. Completing half your deen is about character building, it's about being a better person. And so if you're getting married in order to make you a better to help you enable you to try to be a better
person, then you've gotten that the correct purpose. And then of course as a fringe benefit the gift from Allah Spano Tata is that is that odorata ion that Allah says
and that is that you know, in the dot, where we say it's been a headliner, as well as you know, whether yet in order to iron or john Allen mattina imama here alized you know, in the this die that's in the hood, N, O Allah, we ask Allah O Allah make our spouses and our children the coolness of our eyes,
you know, that this, this, you know, and even if you look at the word that that Allah uses headliner, hubba hablan it comes from the word HIPAA, and HIPAA means a gift. So you're asking Allah subhanaw taala, to gift you, to give you a gift of this coolness of the eyes, a gift is very different than ultimate purpose. That that my ultimate purpose in the relationship itself, when I'm entering into the marriage, when I'm entering into the, you know, that that relationship, ultimate purpose, should be completing my Deen meaning, helping me to be a better person character building, but the ultimate purpose is not. So that I can,
you know, so that this person can fill me fulfill me or make me happy. It's, it's, it's extremely important. And you will find that if you have the right focus, inshallah, that then you will be able to be successful. One of the problems with having the wrong focus is that if I'm going into this relationship, in order to be happy, or in order to fulfill me or to fill me, well, as soon as it's not doing that, so suppose you know, you and you, you get into the marriage, and you you start to face some challenges, which is inevitable. Once you start to face those challenges. Well, it doesn't, you're not necessarily very happy while you're facing challenges. When you go to the gym,
and you're lifting weights. It's not necessarily very pleasurable to lift weights. But why do people do it? People do it to get stronger, they do it because there's a certain purpose when you're working out or you're lifting, it's it's stressful, it's painful. Anybody who doesn't know is that it's painful at the time you're doing it, but there's a there's a higher purpose of why you're doing it. And that is that you're building muscle. So in the same way, if you if you see it, yes, this may be a challenge. It may not be very fun right now, it may not be very easy right now. But if I saw that my ultimate purpose was to be a better person. And this is helping me in building that muscle
and helping me in developing that. Then I then I don't see, I see it very differently. I don't run away from it immediately. But but I see you know how I can grow from that from the situation itself. We have a caller on the line Santa Monica. Santa Monica. Color, can you hear me?
How are you doing?
I'm having a little bit of trouble hearing it's getting cut off. Can you hear me clearly?
Okay, inshallah, go ahead with your with your question.
To share my experience. Okay.
Um, me? Yes, I can
about some fears.
started having anxiety
because I didn't.
it was really difficult, because I didn't really have anything in life.
or anything. So I started um, my mom has helped me and he would help me, like pray through telling me to do things that I didn't practice before. And it was the one year struggle because I was having anxiety and I would get panic attacks. But the only way that I got rid of my anxiety and I found true happiness was through God.
Anxiety by through God
And can you be specific like what you mean by through God what what specifically
Okay, like anxiety is like,
like a mental state of mind. And I went to counseling and I would do breathing exercises and everything and nothing would work. But when I started following things that Allah subhanaw taala commanded us to do, like praying, wearing hijab,
saying and doing Vicar and all those things.
I'm like all the anxiety would like get out of my head like slowly by slowly it's upon Allah Subhana Allah, that's amazing. And you know, it's like, thank you for sharing your story because your story is just one of many manifestations of Allah soprano, Dinah's words, you know, like, we were saying, earlier in the show, the sharing the the to add to have the agates about the remembrance of Allah, Allah decreed, I thought mine included, indeed, in the remembrance of Allah to the hearts find peace and satisfaction. And you only found that peace and satisfaction through his remembrance. You know, it's, it's amazing to actually recognize brothers and sisters that Allah subhanaw taala even, you
know, if you look at if you look at the sisters story, and you look at, you know, situations where people do suffer from anxiety, it's actually it's a mercy from Allah subhanho wa Taala. Because, you know, imagine if the sister had not felt the anxiety to begin with, she would not have known that there was a problem internally, she would not have known that she needs to make a change. Because no, it's it's, it's the anxiety itself was a symptom of a problem with the heart. You know, in her case, and of course, there's there's different situations, when it comes to some, you know, mental illness, but in her case, it you know, sometimes the, the anxiety itself or even the, the pain, the
emptiness, the depression, itself is a symptom of, of a problem that we have inside that we need to fix. And, you know, one example you can think of, for this is just like in the physical world, if your body
you know, is being burnt if you're standing by a stove, an open flame, and you know, you don't notice that your elbow has touched the flame, what's going to make you move your hand what's going to make you move your arm is the pain of the fire. So that pain itself is actually a protection is actually a mercy from God to let you know that you need to move your arm it's it's to let you know that you need to make a change and emotional psychological pain is very similar. You know, it's it's, it's the anxiety itself, it's the pain itself, it's the sometimes the sadness or you know that that actually is that just just like the the flesh when it's being burned, it hurts. And similarly,
this pain it indicates to us there's something wrong There's something I need to change. And again, Allah tells us in Allah Allah euro euro, maybe Coleman had a ladle, maybe and forcing him the situation that you don't like the, the anxiety, the, the, this, the this, this depression, the the situation, in your, in your life, in your in your school, in your career, whatever situation it is that you don't like, it will never change until you change what's inside yourself. And when you change internally, you will find that externally, things change as the sister shared Suppan a lot. And you know, those are the types of stories that we want to hear from you, you know, real, real
stories that that inspire others. Because it isn't just, it isn't just talk, you know, the last panel that it doesn't say something, unless it's the truth, Allah only speaks the truth. And Allah tells us these things, and we know that that for sure they're true. Now, you know, there's you can, if you can call in, that's great, we'd love to hear from you. Otherwise, there's also we're taking comments on the chat box. someone writes I have 100 I recently started wearing Hijab and doing more the good and a better so remembrance and worship and I always try to be better and it has been easy but the only thing I struggle with is that I can't stop wearing makeup I only wear natural makeup
but I still no I'm doing hard on with this and it upsets me so much. You know without talking specifically about any one manner or another I think we can look at this
from from a wider lens and let's look at it you know more deeply inshallah to Allah without getting into the, the rules of this or that. But ultimately, you know, ultimately these things are just one of many examples of sacrifice for the sake of Allah subhanho data. You know, recently I was giving a talk about
You know, some of the, the natural consequences of love. And one of the natural consequences that you'll find in human love, for example, is the ability and the and the ease by which we can sacrifice for that which we love. And one of the best examples I can think of is the mother for her child. You know, you just any mother can relate to this, and anyone who's seen a mother, or a father can relate to this, you know, what you do for your child is, you know, if, for example, if the child is up at night, sick, it doesn't, nobody needs to pay a mother or a father, to wake up at night and take care of their child, you know, no one needs to pay them. There's no, there's no question about
going in the middle of the night to the hospital, if your child needs it. These are sacrifices that we are willing to make for our children, because we love them. But you know, what, it really takes a lot from us to be able to get up at night and pray, you know, we we went anyone who knows what it's like to have a newborn is not just one time that you're up, you know, you're up every night, you're up every night, some some other, you know, some children who have colic, you know, they they cry continuously, sometimes for 16 hours straight in. And it's just, you know, the mother, she does it, the father, he does it. And it's just something that's naturally born out of love. We were able to
sacrifice we're able to sacrifice or sleep, we're able to sacrifice our, our own heart, you know, our own comfort. You know, sometimes you'll go long periods of time as a mother, new mother, especially, you know, you can't eat because you got to, you know, take care of the kid. And sometimes it's like, oh, man, when's the last time I ate? You know, we sacrifice these things when we love someone. And and so we have to ask ourselves, when we're unable to sacrifice even small things for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala, we have to really question the, the, the, the truth, and the reality and the sincerity of our love. Because, as we see with human love,
it's natural to sacrifice. It's easy. It's something that, you know, of course, of course, even if it's difficult, and we do, it was still rewarded. But what I'm trying to get at here is that the strength of the love makes it easier. And you know, one of those examples you see is what you do with your children. I mean, the amount of money let's just look at that, that we sacrifice for the sake of our kids, and send them throughout their life and send them to college alone. You know, there's no question isn't, it's not, it's not something that that's considered even, it's just a given, you know, you sacrifice for those you love. And, and so we have to ask ourselves if, if we
are, if we really if our true if our love for our last panel that is really true. And why it is that we we have so much trouble sacrificing for his sake. Part of it is the you know, maybe the strength of the loving, and also we have to have full faith. And it's part of it is also a man having full faith, that any time we sacrifice something for Allah sake, He replaces it with something better. If Allah subhana wa Tada, we give up something for his sake, we let go of it, for his sake, he will replace it with something better. That's Amen. To really have faith in that is what we need in order to be able to give up these things that we may love. And when you give up what you love, Allah
subhanaw taala replaces it with what is better. And Allah also beautifies you less upon what Allah tells us, Wellington and on behalf that the homie metta hipbone and you will not reach goodness, until you are able to give of that which you love. You know, it's, it's, it's one thing to give of that which you really don't care much about, of which that which you're not really very attached to, or you don't love very much. That's, that's that's one thing, but the real test, and not just that, but the, the real beauty, the real internal beauty comes out and is made and is fashioned. When you give that which you love. That's the way that you reach there. That's the way that you reach
goodness and beauty internally is by being able to let go of being able to give of those things that you love. This is so important sacrifice is in order to elevate
with Allah subhanaw taala in order to go up into enter elevate in status, there needs to be sacrifice, and sacrifice by definition is giving up that which you love. Otherwise it would be a sacrifice. When you're getting up at night with your child you're giving up your sleep, which we all know we love. You know sometimes we can even wake up for fetchit because we love it so much. But we give it up when we love something more. And and that's what it is is that we have to find something that we love more as something more worthy and and we give up that which
Which we love, but we do it for the sake of that which we love more. So inshallah we will take another short break now. And when we return, we will open up the lines again, for your questions, your comments, your reflections on this question of what is the secret to happiness?
Santa Monica, this is your screen, which I hit and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy radio, we are asking the question today of what is the secret to happiness? I think there have been a lot of different types of answers to this question. We've talked about different definitions of happiness, there's the physical happiness, the happiness of the stomach, when you eat something that you like, the happiness of the ears, when you hear something that you like, the happiness of the eyes, when you see something beautiful. And then there's the happiness of the heart, which is that true, true happiness, internal happiness. And the only thing that can make the
heart happy, in fulfill the heart is the remembrance of God. And we have shared, you know, some different, I think, false definitions of what makes you happy, some myths about the secrets to happiness. And, you know, I think one of them really is that another person can make you happy, or that there's something of the creation that can make you happy, you know, if I have a certain amount of money, then I'll finally be happy. Or if I have a particular job, or a certain house, if I can just be with this person, I would be happy if I could just marry, you know, this type of woman or this type of man, I would be happy. These are myths, that, that really, the, the, the, the real,
true happiness can only come through the remembrance of God through the nearness to God, because he's the one who created us, you know, Allah Subhana, dial and made the heart. And it is for him. It is something that he created for him, it's by made by Him and for Him, that's the only thing that will make a person you know, that organ of the body will only be fulfilled, through the its maker, and through being filled by the maker. And the food of the heart is the remembrance of Allah subhanaw taala. And that point is is important when it comes to looking for a life partner and, and in thinking about marriage, and how we think about marriage, why we want to get married, it is a
very subtle, but important point to understand that we do not get married. In order for someone to fill us, fulfill us complete us, we do not get married ultimately, in order to quote unquote, be happy, but rather marriage is it should be seen ultimately, as a way as a means to become a better person as a means to complete our Deen not to complete ourself. And when you complete your deen through marriage, you will find that inshallah to Allah, Allah will gift you with that happiness. But again, there's a difference between a gift and an ultimate purpose. If you make your purpose, us a panel data, and you seek only Allah to make you happy, Allah will give you that happiness through
different means. And it may be through your marriage may be through your friends, but you will always seek it from him. And you see that those relationships that you have in life are intended to actually help you and in order are intended to make you a better person, we are going through this life ultimately, why to reach Allah subhanaw taala with the best character with the best and most beautiful heart that we can have. And so every experience in life, every relationship, every path you take, should be a character builder, path that helps you to have a more beautiful heart, when you meet Allah subhanaw taala if you see your marriage in that way, it will completely transform
what your expectations are, and what you're willing to, you know, to, to do and, and how much you're willing to give. You know, of course, of course, explaining, it's very, very important to explain that even though the ultimate purpose of marriage is not to fulfill me to make me happy. However, that does not mean that if you are in a relationship, that is abusive or in a relationship where you are miserable or you are unhappy, that that that somehow that means that you should just patiently bear it and not try to do anything to improve that that is not what is meant, but rather, you know, we were talking about ultimate purpose. However Allah subhanaw taala gives us the means as well.
Allah gives us the tools to try to
You know, change these things, too, if there's, if you have a headache, if you know, you should take the means to try to, to alleviate that pain, if you have a problem in your marriage, you should try to take the means and the tools to try to fix it to try to make it better. Ultimately, knowing that all good comes from Allah subhanaw taala. And, and that, that it is Allah who can mend it. But we take the means to try to fix it, it doesn't mean we just, you know, accept, well, it's making me a better person. So I'm going to not take any means to change it. Part of this path of character building is using the tools that Allah gave us, in order to try to better our situation torture, in
order to try to change those things which which we don't, which are not good, which are not right, and we try to change them. This is a principle that Allah subhanaw taala His Messenger has taught us when he says that if any of you, if you see something wrong, you should try to change it with your hand, this is a means this is a tool. And if you cannot change it with your hand, then with your tongue, he'll speak out speaking out against it. And if you cannot, then at least hate it in your heart. And this is the weakest of faith. So the prophets I sent him is telling us how to take the means and and the tools in order to try to change that, which is we see that is wrong. someone
writes, I thought that when I would obtain my degree, I would be happy. I wasn't I thought when I will have a good job and be financially independent. I would be happy. But I am not. The past years, I was thinking I have to get married in order to be happy. And the fact that I'm still not married makes me feel very unhappy. Today, I realized that I first need to find contentment and be happy with who I am and the way I am created and to accept my life like Allah gave it to me.
This is a comment that someone shared in the chat box. It's very profound. And this I think, reflects a lot of our thinking, which is that we think as you know, as soon as I get to this point in life, I'll be happy. As soon as I get this, I'll be happy. As soon as I get that I'll be happy if only this could change. I'll be happy. We think that happiness is a destination. Happiness is not a destination happiness is a way of living, and it's a way of living that can only be found near to Allah subhanaw taala Cody Cody Heather was stuck for a lot. He will come in homophone Rahim. subhanak Hello the hem duck, the shadow and the Illa Allah and Mr. Pharaoh going into a lake. We ask
Allah Subhana Allah to help all those who are suffering from sadness are all those who are not able to find that true happiness in the nearness to Allah subhanho wa Taala and we ask, you know that that all those who are in difficult situations that Allah subhanaw taala it makes it easy on them was salam wa Alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh